Holding On
by Softrockdirection
Summary: AU. Life at Gaffney Highschool will never be the same. It's Sarah Reese's first day and she isn't remotely prepared for it. Relationships and friendships are tested, love blossoms and bonds are formed as kids try to navigate the challenges of growing up. A collaborative story between Softrock-showtunesgirlscout22 and flyintherightdirection.
1. Chapter 1

**Holding on**

 **A/N: A collaborative story between _Softrock-showtunesgirlscout22_ and _flyintherightdirection._ We own nothing but the plot. All the Med characters are currently in high-school or somehow fit into the story, others from the One Chicago Fam may also appear, reviews are always welcome!**

 **We apologize in advance for the Manstead and Rheese feels!**

 **Chapter 1**

Sarah Reese did not want to be in Chicago.

"Can't I just stay at home tomorrow? Please Mom?" She begged her mother one last time before she went to bed.

She didn't want to be there and she most certainly didn't want to have to start at Gaffney High School the next day.

"Sarah, Sweetie, we've discussed this, you're going to school tomorrow. I have to be in the office early and you promised Jason that you'd go with him, get him settled. "

"Can't I just stay at home, for one more day?" Sarah said, slumping onto her new bed in her room that was cluttered with half unpacked boxes.

"You're not staying home alone in a city we're not familiar with yet. First days of school are scary but you'll be fine, you're my smart, clever girl. Goodnight Sweetheart." With that Sarah's Mom, kissed her forehead and closed the door behind her.

 _What was good about it_ _?_ Sarah thought as she reached for her laptop and continued her research on the new city she had to call home.

Sarah sighed, she should've known she'd never win that kind of argument when her Mom was a lawyer and able to negotiate and persuade for a living.

She was just _not_ looking forward to starting at a new school a month after everyone else had. She was going to stand out like a sore thumb. High school was hard enough without having to start over in a new city, try to make new friends and catch up on school work.

She could blame the move on James, the man that her mother was in the processes of finalizing a divorce with. But really, she should have known that life was going far too well for it to last. She should have seen the separation coming.

She laughed bitterly to herself, now at least she and little Jason shared more than just a mother, they now shared the fact that both their fathers didn't stay.

She shook her head, there was no point mulling over the state of her family, and she refocused her attention on the screen in front of her.

Chicago. The Windy City, which, according to her extensive internet research encountered its fair share of rain and snow.

Two of Sarah's least favorite things. _Great_.

She pulled up the page about Gaffney High School again. It certainly wasn't as prestigious as Riverside Memorial High School, the school her Mom had intended her to go to. However, it was right next door to the middle school that had the best reputation for having a program for children with special needs in the city and Sarah suggested that Jason could attend there and so she could be close by if he needed her.

She'd have to walk him to the bus and probably sit with him so he wouldn't cause any trouble.

Jason was just 8 but he was the smartest kid she knew.

* * *

"Don't play with your cereal buddy, we've got to get going." Sarah told Jason the next morning as she picked up his half done bowl.

He looked down to the ground. That usually meant he was upset about something. "We use our words, remember?"

Jason looked up at her, just about to throw a tantrum if she wasn't fast enough. "Come on, we're going to be late."

Sarah led Jason to the bus, he usually didn't like people touching him, her grabbing his hand was torture enough but she couldn't possibly have him run off somewhere.

The yellow and stereotypical bus stopped just in time, Sarah looked up for a moment, she was sure it would rain today.

"Are you two getting on?" The driver asked. Sarah nodded, pulling on Jason's hand.

"Sorry." Sarah told him. Jason quickly let go of her hand but didn't move, he really didn't like to be around people so the school bus, which was usually cramped up with kids was an issue.

Sarah took a look around the empty seats, there was one next to a blonde girl which could possibly fit her and Jason.

"You can't sit here." The girl in the adjoining seat, with blonde hair and fancier clothes than Sarah could ever afford, snapped at the Reese siblings.

"Seriously?" Sarah asked, in a mix between a real question and in annoyance.

"Yes I am actually. I'm waiting for someone else." She glared at Sarah who suddenly felt like the entire bus was staring at the ill-fated interaction.

Sarah sighed, she no longer felt her brother's presence, he'd moved up further back on the bus. "Jason?"

"You want to sit here buddy?" A boy, about her age moved from his seat so Jason could be by the window.

"What do you say Jason?" Sarah came up to them.

"Thank you." The little boy said.

"No problem, the window is also my favorite spot." The other boy smiled.

"I'm sorry." Sarah said shyly.

"Like I said, it's no problem, you're new, right? I haven't seen you around."

Sarah nodded. "We just moved."

"Oh, cool. I'm Jay…" He beamed. "You're a sophomore?"

She nodded again. "Tragically."

Jay smiled. "Me too, unfortunately."

The bus pulled off and Sarah was forced to take the empty seat across the aisle where she tried not to make it too obvious that she was craning her neck to keep an eye on Jason. He never sat with strangers, so allowing Jay to sit with him and not Sarah was an odd event, to say the least.

The rest of the ride to school consisted of a couple of more stops and turns. One of the which let on a girl who took the seat next to the other one that hadn't let Sarah sit down. It looked like Gaffney had it's own version of Mean Girls going on.

They pulled up at the middle school, where a few of the younger kids on the bus raced off and Sarah hopped up and beckoned to Jason.

"This is not the right building." Jay said as he moved up so Jason could get out.

"I have to get him to class." Sarah told him. "Thank you for being nice to him. We're working on his conversational skills."

Jay nodded. "Of course, I'll see you up there I guess."

Yeah, Gaffney High School, she could just hope that she could stay under the radar.

As she walked, alongside Jason, who seemed to be dragging his feet. Another sign he was not happy with the arrangement at his new school, Sarah prayed his aid would be nice. Her mother had hired an aid for him whom she was meant to meet before her brother went into class today.

He'd had behavioural aids back home whom he'd loved but then the divorce came into the game and their mother announced they could no longer live in Michigan and no one was willing to pack up everything and leave. Not even Sarah's old nanny.

"Sarah and Jason?" A woman said as soon as they approached the entrance. "I'm Mary, your mother and I met and she said I'd recognize you as soon as I saw you."

Sarah smiled, turning to her brother. "Jason? Are you ready?"

He was most definitely not ready as he fidgeted with the zipper on his jacket. "I realize this is a little off for him too, I'll come to your home once we get to know each other a little more. It was a last minute thing that your mother chose me to work with your family." Mary explained, Sarah didn't see anything wrong with her and Jason had been used to the aids that had been around him since he had started kindergarden.

 _So they should see, Sarah thought_ , but one thing was for sure, he didn't like change. Another thing he shared with his half-sister.

But maybe things could be different in Chicago, Jason would improve and Sarah would flourish. Although she highly doubted it.

"Alright, we should go in, you don't want to be late either Sarah." Mary told her.

Jason didn't move though. "Buddy? Come on, you have to go inside." Sarah said softly, crouching down to face her brother.

"Where will you be?" He asked in a low voice.

Sarah made him turn around so he was facing the building next door. "I'll be right in there, see? Not so far away, if you need me you can just tell Mary and she'll get me."

"Sarah, that's not really how…" Mary began but Sarah brushed her off.

"We can't use our walkies?" Jason asked.

"Nope." Sarah said with a small smile. "They're too loud, we wouldn't want to get in trouble and have them be taken away."

"No, cause they have our names on them." Jason said. "Dad made them for us."

"He did, now if you need anything, just tell Mary, okay?" Jason nodded slowly. "Have a good day buddy…" Sarah then turned to the young woman. "Here's my number, you can text me anytime if he gets too difficult."

Mary gave her a puzzled look as she handed her a piece of paper. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that."

"Oh, it will." Sarah said, walking away, in the direction of the adjoined building where she was sure to hate from the moment she stepped in.

* * *

Sure, it wasn't like she had many friends back home but at least everything was familiar. This was all too new.

Crowds of kids bustled in, and she could do nothing but go with the flow and hope to find the reception.

A group of older girls stood inside the door, handing out leaflets for some upcoming cake sale.

"You okay honey?" One girl asked.

"I'm new actually, which way is it to the head office?" Sarah asked.

The older girl smiled softly, "First days are the worst, I'm Maggie, by the way. Principal Goodwin's office is just down that corridor." She pointed down the hall toward to the right of the entrance doors. "You won't miss it. Goodwin is firm but fair, you should be fine. Good luck."

Sarah thanked her and followed Maggie's directions until she came upon the reception desk.

"Can I help you?" The receptionist asked, never looking up from her computer.

"Eh..yes…I'm Sarah Reese, today is my first day and I was told to come here and…"

"Principal Goodwin is expecting you. Go right on in." She pointed vaguely to the door behind her.

"Thank you." Sarah said and knocked on the door.

"You must be Sarah." The principal was a woman who was exactly as Maggie had described, firm but fair. She had Sarah's file set up and talked her through some of the more serious rules of the school, what was expected of Gaffney's students, and that her teachers would be notified of her arrival.

"With a GPA like yours I'm sure you're eager to get to class." Principal Goodwin smiled, "But I have set up a meeting for you now with our guidance counsellor Mr Charles, it's standard procedure for new students, you can talk through your timetable and classes and he'll set you up with a buddy to help you settle in. I hope you like it here at Gaffney Sarah."

Sarah hoped so too.

* * *

 **Thanks so much for reading you guys! We'll be updating weekly as in the show, every Wednesday, we hope this helps you get through waiting for season 4! As always, reviews make us happy :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Holding On**

 **A\N: Thank you, for checking out our story guys! Don't forget to review as it makes us happy to hear from you :)**

 **Chapter 2**

The receptionist told Sarah to take a seat on the chairs in the hallway and that Mr Charles would be with her in a minute.

She did just that, dropping her bag beside her feet and sat on the plastic chair, checking her phone again. She knew she wouldn't be able to rest until she contacted Jason to see how he was finding things.

"Honestly boys, I know the situation is complicated but what have we talked about? Using your fists is not the solution to our problems." A man wearing a sweater vest and glasses led two boys down the hallway and past Sarah. They didn't seem to notice her sitting alone in the hallway.

It was okay. She was used to being overlooked.

Her own father ignored her, she wasn't as beautiful as her mother and any attention was always directed toward Jason.

She was comfortable being invisible.

The man continued on explaining how this was not the outcome he had wanted while he opened the door to an office while the two boys glanced at each other.

The red head had a split lip and torn sweater but he looked nearly _pleased_ with the situation. The boy with black hair and striking blue eyes had a stormy expression on his face.

The man sighed, "Will, I'll see you first. Connor you can take a seat." The red head followed the man into the room and the black haired boy took a seat alongside Sarah.

"You new here?" He asked as he took his seat.

Sarah just nodded, she didn't want to get mixed up with the wrong crowd on her first day. And fraternising with boys who got into fights before school even started in the morning was a big no no in her book.

"I'm Connor, you are?" He asked.

"Sarah. Sophomore."

"Cool, I'm a junior. I don't usually get into fights this early in the morning." He smirked.

"Good to know." She nodded.

"This place isn't too bad. I only started here last year," He shrugged, "Most of the time people are nice."

"Hmhmm." Sarah mumbled.

Silence stretched out between the pair as they both checked their phones. She was waiting to see if Mary had texted her, she presumed 'Connor' was probably keeping tabs on his many girlfriends. Looks like his, a killer smile and his bad boy attitude? The girls had to be falling at his feet.

"Alright Mr Halstead, get to class." The door opened and the man let Will go before noticing her sitting alongside Connor. "Ah you must be Sarah Reese, have you been waiting for long? I didn't introduce myself, I'm Mr Charles the guidance counsellor. I'm afraid this isn't a great first impression. If you don't mind, I'll deal with Mr Rhodes and then send him on his way, then we'll get you set up?"

More time out of class meant more time of not having to explain that she was the new girl. It sounded good to Sarah.

"See you around Reese." Connor smirked as he all but swaggered into the guidance counsellors office.

Her phone rang and the receptionist shot her a glare. She knew it wasn't a good impression to make but it wasn't like answering her phone was as bad as getting into fist fights was it?

An unknown number called and she answered without thinking.

"Sarah?" Jason's voice whispered down the line.

"Jason, are you okay buddy?" She tried to keep the franticness out of her voice but she didn't think that she was succeeding.

"Yeah, I asked Mary to let me call you like on our walkies…" He paused as Sarah gripped her phone tight. "I like it here."

"You do?" She very nearly cried happy tears.

"Yeah. Mary says I have to go now. Bye." The phone line was cut off but Sarah was trying to hold onto the happy feeling that Jason just might be okay here.

She could only hope the same for herself.

"I certainly hope that is the case Mr. Rhodes." Sarah heard Mr. Charles tell Connor as she watched him walk out of the office a little while later, she swore he had winked at her as he went by. Connor seemed charming but Sarah knew there was more to his story. Having Jason as her little brother made her good at reading people and she was sure she had sensed a glint of guilt over Connor's encounter with Will or at least he seemed to be haunted over something.

"Sorry about that." The older man smiled. "Come on in Sarah."

Sarah stepped into the office, she could see straight away that Mr. Charles enjoyed reading, or else he was forced to as a high school counsellor, because there seemed to be books of all sizes resting on every surface.

"So you come to us from Michigan Miss Reese." Mr Charles called her attention.

"Yeah…" Sarah said.

"Your GPA score seems to be above average, have you considered taking extra classes?"

Sarah smiled. "Uh, I haven't thought about it."

"Alright, we can talk about that later." Mr Charles said. "You could very well be ahead of your classmates, perhaps taking some junior courses maybe?"

Sarah sighed. She really didn't want to be the odd kid of the bunch like she'd been in her special courses back home.

Mr Charles seemed to sense her hesitation, "But right now, I want you to find your way around the school and make the transition as easy as possible so, I'll be assigning you a buddy for a little while to show you the ropes." He smiled.

"You don't really have to Mr. Charles, I'm sure I will be fine on my own." Sarah was quick to add.

"It won't be for too long Miss Reese, it will do you both some good." Mr Charles said.

Sarah was already dreading the man's choice. "Why don't you meet him right after lunch? He's already aware of it all."

She looked down to glance at the piece of paper she had just been handed. It read _Connor Rhodes._

* * *

Sarah made her way into her first class, struggling to find the right classroom when someone called for her attention.

It was Jay.

"Sarah? He asked with a smile. "What class do you have now?"

"English? With Ms Brett?"

"Looks like we're together, come with me."

She dragged her feet following Jay into the next hallway as people had started to disperse into their respective activities of the day.

"You got lost again Jay?" A girl said as soon as she spotted them. "No surprise there."

"At least I show up Em." He told her. "Come on Sarah, she doesn't bite."

"You must be the new kid." The girl smirked at Sarah. "I'm Emily Choi, a bad influence apparently."

"Apparently?" Jay laughed.

"Shut up." She shot at him.

"Nice to meet you…"

"Guys, alright, settle…" The teacher called from the top of the class. Sarah watched as the others found their place quickly. It was clear they've been there from the start of the term, unlike her.

She found one last seat at the back and quietly took it, hoping at least this way, less and less people would notice her. "Miss Reese?" Ms Brett asked as soon as the class had fallen silent.

So much for staying low key. Sarah cringed as the entire class seemed to turn to look at her.

"Miss Reese, why don't you come here to the front?"

Sarah sighed as she took her things and between glances from her new classmates made her way to the empty desk. She placed her stuff on it as whispers began again. "Alright now guys, this is Sarah and I expect everyone to make her feel welcome."

Sarah lowered her head, wishing she could just run and hide.

When time for lunch came, she tried to find Connor, who she figured wouldn't be too hard to spot. She would just have to look for the gathering of girls.

"Sarah?" Maggie, the girl she'd met that morning, called for her. "Are you looking for something?"

"Connor Rhodes?" Maggie shot the girl a puzzled look. "Mr. Charles told me to find him."

"Ah, he paired you up with a buddy?" Sarah nodded. "Don't worry, Conor's probably in Gym now, they come a little later to lunch."

"Okay." Sarah said. "Thank you."

 _Why couldn't Maggie been her buddy? Hadn't Connor said he was fairly new himself_?

"No problem honey." Maggie smiled. "There he is, you better run before his girlfriends come find him."

 _Girlfriends?_

Sarah turned around to come face to face with Connor. The redness in his cheek from this morning was still visible but it was clear to Sarah who'd won the fight. "Just the person I wanted to see." He told her charmingly. "Come on, let's get this show on the road."

Sarah followed Connor into the cafeteria. "I'd recommend you never eat the meatloaf, made that mistake on one of my first days here." He began, "Eat just what looks safe."

"I think I'll be okay." Sarah told him, Connor was tall and she followed behind the best she could.

"Right, I'm just doing my buddy duty here." He smiled at her. "It's not like either of us have much of a choice anyway." They came into a halt. "Now, on the sitting matter, that's the popular girl's spot apparently, not that I notice." He smirked.

Sarah spotted the girl from the bus who hadn't let her sit down among the 'popular' crowd.

"Connor Rhodes!" A girl with brown hair called for Sarah's buddy and stormed over and she didn't look happy. It must be one of the girlfriends Maggie had mentioned.

"You got into a fight?" The girl demanded.

"Hello to you too, Nat." He mused.

"With Will Halstead, really?" She shot at him. "What's your problem?"

"Why do you care?" Connor brushed her off. "He was saying I wasn't tough enough so I proved him wrong."

"Because… what? Everything is a competition?"

"He thinks too much of himself. And you shouldn't be defending him." He replied. "You had a boyfriend last time I checked? What does Jeff think of you getting all protective of Halstead?"

Natalie didn't satisfy Connor with an answer but merely glared at him before sighing. "You do know Charles will call your parents, don't you?"

Sarah could see Connor tense up at Nat's words.

"Probably, nothing I can't handle." Connor said, it was then that Natalie had noticed Sarah standing behind him. "Now, if you'll excuse us…"

"It's okay." Sarah said. "I think I'll be fine."

"Sorry honey, you look new, I'm not as scary as I seem. I'm Natalie."

Sarah bit her lip. "Sarah."

"Don't mind her, she's harmless." Connor assured her. "Most times, are you going to be okay?" Sarah nodded. Connor didn't seem so sure. "I'll see you right after class?"

"Sorry again Sarah, nice to meet you." Nat apologised.

She watched the two of them walk away as she tried to find an empty table to sit at, her phone in her hand as she hoped Mary would call her or text her on an update on Jason. It was only half day and Sarah felt drained. She wanted to go home and not come out of her room until the end of her senior year.

* * *

Sarah didn't see Connor again for at least the next period. She kept meeting new people and hadn't gone as unnoticed as she'd tried to. Teachers and students alike kept putting her on the spot, Sarah hated that.

Jay seemed nice enough though and his friend Emily was fine but Sarah really wished she hadn't bumped into someone so outgoing on her first day.

"Miss Reese?" She encountered Mr. Charles as she was heading off to her last few classes of the day. "How are you finding everything? I certainly hope everyone has been helpful?" Sarah nodded. "And what about Mr. Rhodes? I know he's a junior and you don't share classes together but he's a good boy. In spite of how that first meeting might have make him seem." He smiled. "I believe you and him might get along."

 _Hardly, Sarah thought_ , but she wasn't ready to throw Connor, who she'd practically just met, under a bus, that just wasn't her. "Let me know how it goes?" The man waved as he walked away.

"Hey curly." A voice said behind her. For a moment, Sarah thought it might be Jay but she didn't recognize the boy, not right away anyway, he might have been in one of her classes earlier.

"I'm sorry?" The boy turned around and began whistling, she was sure he was trying to get on her nerves.

Well, it was only a matter of time before she had an encounter like this.

"Sarah?" Sarah was just glad when Jay came along.

"Hey Jay." She muttered softly.

"You okay?" He inquired, he nodded his head to the other boy who was not so subtly looking her over. "Did he say something to you? Ignore him, Noah just loves to be the center of attention." Jay rolled his eyes. "You coming? We still have Chem to get through."

Sarah swung her bag over her shoulder and followed him down the hall, praying this teacher wouldn't make her sit in the front or introduce herself.

It went well, the teacher seemed nice and she took pity on her for being new. Sarah eyed Noah as he kept looking at her.

"Mr. Sexton, did you hear me?" Ms. Dawson asked.

"What? Yeah, sorry." He mumbled.

"Now, we need to get you paired up for the rest of the semester as you may all remember. In fact, I believe Mr. Sexton was the only one without a partner."

 _Oh no_.

"Miss Reese, would you mind pairing up, seeing that you've just arrived?" Jay turned to look at Sarah with an apologetic glance. It wasn't really a question though. "Good." The teacher smiled as the bell rang.

Sarah thanked the gods. "You taking the bus?" Jay caught up with her at the door.

"I have to go pick up Jason." She said.

"Oh well, I have to do something but If I don't catch you, I'll be sure to save you a spot tomorrow?" Jay smiled.

"Sure, thank you." Sarah said kindly.

Jay was off and she was on her own and she hadn't seen Rhodes again. Not that she wanted to...

"There you are, I thought you'd run off." Sarah turned at the sound of her buddy's voice and saw him smile. "Sorry I didn't mean to leave you like that."

"I don't need a babysitter." Sarah told him.

"Nope, I'm sure you don't, but…" Connor walked alongside her. "You do need to be in Mr. Charles good graces."

"Don't you mean you need to be?" Sarah retorted.

"Smart. I like that." Connor mused. "You have a car or…"

"I'm not even old enough to get a license." She said.

"The bus then. I'll walk you." Sarah sighed. She better get this buddy thing over with soon.

"Ah, buses are this way, Reese." Connor pointed back.

"Sarah, sorry we're late." Mary and Jason were walking over to her before she could say something to Connor.

"You didn't have to walk him, I was on my way."

"I don't mind but don't worry, we can meet you by the door tomorrow if you want." Mary said. "I'll see you guys later alright?"

Mary walked away, eyeing Connor as she went.

"Come on, we have to get to the bus." Sarah told Jason. Her 'buddy' had barely moved.

"I see what you meant." He told her. Sarah turned to him as they walked. "I'm sure you'll be okay Reese."

"What?"

"Well…"

"I like your jacket." Jason announced, turning to Connor, to Sarah's surprise.

"Jason, right?" Connor smiled. "Thank you, I like it too, pretty neat huh?" Jason nodded.

Sarah rolled her eyes. They'd reached the bus, finally. Connor watched as Sarah waited for most of the kids to be on inside so Jason wouldn't have to follow them so closely. "So...I'll see you tomorrow Reese?"

Sarah was about to reply when she saw Jay and the red haired boy Will from that morning make their way over.

"Everything okay Sarah?" Jay asked eyeing Connor, Will brushed him over and headed inside. Jay followed and finally she looked back one last time, _not at Connor or those blue eyes that were so hard to miss, she thought._

"Was he bothering you?" Jay asked again, she had a feeling he was some kind of justice seeking soul.

"No, not really." She told him, sitting next to her little brother. Sarah saw the older boy roll his eyes.

"People like Connor Rhodes think they are entitled to everything." Will mused.

"Oh yeah, Sarah…this is my brother Will."

"We've met." Will smiled, his busted lip still present.

* * *

Connor parked just outside the front door. Claire wasn't home yet, not that he expected her to be, college was keeping her busy and away from home. Away from the people who needed her.

"Connor sweetheart, you're early." A voice said behind him. "What happened there?" The older woman touched his cheek. "Please tell me you didn't get in trouble again."

"Katie…" Connor sighed. "You should see the other guy."

She didn't seem amused. "Your father is not going to like this." She told him firmly. Connor shrugged. "Your mom is awake, you should go see her, I'll bring up some cookies?"

He smirked and headed up the stairs. "I thought I heard something." A voice said from the hallway.

Her door was half open, Connor hoped to avoid her noticing his latest altercation just a bit longer but he pushed the door open gently. "Hey Mom…"

Elizabeth laid there in a bed, close to the window. "How was your day?"

Connor smiled. "I've had better."

"Yes, Mr. Charles called." Connor stood there beside the bed.

"He doesn't waste any time, does he?" He huffed.

"He cares honey…"

"He's paid to care." Connor reached for his usual chair next to Elizabeth.

"Right, are you going to tell me what happened?" Connor bit his lip.

"It's not important." He told her. "What about you?"

"Connor, you're avoiding the subject… please sweetheart talk to me, you know you can tell me anything." His mother's blue eyes shined.

"I got in a fight with Will Halstead." He told her. "He got on my nerves and I reacted."

Elizabeth smiled softly. "That's the problem with you Rhodes boys, you seem to have a short fuse."

Ah, yes, Connor was very aware of his father's explosive temper, something he was not proud to have inherited. "Can we please change the subject?"

"Of course." Elizabeth said. "We have plenty of time to talk before your father gets back from his trip on Sunday, but honestly honey, what's the problem with that boy?"

"He thinks I'm a rich spoiled brat." Connor said.

"And? Are you?" Elizabeth inquired. "You are very good at reading people sweetheart, maybe you and Will are not that different."

Connor huffed just as Katie appeared by the door with the promised milk and cookies, plus a pack of ice for the boy's cheek.

"Here we are." The woman laid the tray on the table beside the bed, "Fresh baked cookies, not those disgusting diet ones." Connor smirked.

"Thank you Katie." Elizabeth said softly. "What would we do without you?"

"Put that on or it will get worse." The woman told Connor, motioning to his cheek. "I'll be downstairs if you need me."

She took her leave as Elizabeth turned to her son once more, he'd already grabbed one of the delicious chocolate chip cookies. "So, did anything else happened today?"

Connor's mind immediately drifted to Sarah. "There's this new girl at school, she's a sophomore, her name is Sarah."

"Oh, that must be hard for her, with classes in full swing already." His mother said. He had a feeling she would had no problem catching up though. "And…"

"Mr. Charles said I had to pay penance for my behaviour so I'm meant to be her 'buddy' for the next few weeks."

"Well you do know what is like to be the new kid around, I think that was smart on Mr. Charles's part." His mother smiled. "Is she nice?"

"Yeah… she's okay."

"Just okay?"

"I just met her 12 hours ago Mom, it's not like we have any classes together or anything."

"I don't mean it like that, like I said, you're good at reading people, what's that spidey sense say about Sarah?"

"What does it matter?"

"It does to me." Elizabeth said in all seriousness.

Connor sighed. "She's smart, like not just academically, street smart. She has a little brother she has to care for, Mr Charles told me he has special needs so I guess she looks out for him more than she does for herself and I'm guessing her parents are divorced." He smiled without thinking as he talked a little bit more about Sarah and all he could gather of her in the short period of time since he'd met her. Elizabeth suddenly shivered. "Mom? Maybe we should close the window."

"No, I'm fine." She insisted. Connor rolled his eyes a bit. "I'm meant to be the adult, remember?"

Connor huffed softly. "I'm hardly a kid Mom."

Elizabeth smiled, her son could see she was struggling as she was aware she might not get to see him be much older than he was now. "You'll always be my baby." She reminded him.

"Connor, I thought you might be in here." Kelly, his mother's nurse smiled as she knocked on the door. "It's time for your pills ma'm."

"Hey Kelly, here." Connor reached for the small cup, handing it to Elizabeth. "You okay?"

"You have to stop asking me that, we've talked about this?"

Connor glanced over at Kelly worriedly. "Well, I see Katie is up to her doings again." She said eying the tray with cookies. "You get some rest now..."

Elizabeth sighed. "We'll talk a bit more later, okay baby?"

"Sure." Connor smiled, standing up from the chair and kissing his mother's cheek.

"I want to hear more about that Sarah girl later, alright?"

"What girl?" Kelly mused. "Oh please don't tell me you've got another girlfriend on your tail boy."

Connor rolled his eyes at her as he left the room. He got the distinct feeling that Sarah was nothing like the girls that usually trailed after him. He scoffed to himself, he got the impression that she was clever enough to run in the other direction.

* * *

Claire was making her way up the stairs as he half closed the door behind him.

"Hey." Connor said softly. "Mom is still awake if you want to come in."

"Yeah, in a minute." Claire said not looking up from her phone. "What happened to you? Please don't tell me you got in a fight again, Connor… when are you going to grow up?"

"Please, me?" He huffed.

"Yes you… Dad's gonna be so pissed when he finds out."

"Good for you then, more points for Claire."

"That's not fair." His sister beckoned.

"Please, you are barely home and I'm sure your grades are suffering already with all those late night 'study sessions'." Connor said lowering his voice.

"Screw you."

"I'm sorry." Kelly hissed as the door opened. "Voices carry, your mother has to rest, what's going on between you two?"

"Nothing, it's fine Kelly." Connor said softly, glaring at Claire, turning back to his room.

He wanted to slam the door so bad but knew Elizabeth was probably already asleep. He grabbed his phone and saw a bunch of text from Ava, but then dialled Nat's number.

"Hey." He told her softly when the phone clicked. "Nat?"

"I'm still mad at you." She told him.

"Granted, I deserve that."

"You think?" She scoffed as Connor laid back on his bed. "What did your mom say?"

"That Will and I could become friends." He huffed.

"Is that so hard to believe?" Nat inquired.

"Yeah. Duh."

"Mature Connor, very mature." His best friend groaned. "How is she?"

"Fine I guess." Connor said. "She has good and bad days."

"I'll come visit Friday." Natalie told him.

"She'll love that."

He didn't need to be friends with Wil Halstead, he had Natalie.

* * *

 **We finally saw Connor! Did someone else swoon? Don't forget to review guys and tell us what you think? Prepare for a rollercoaster of feels! We'll see each other next Wednesday :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Holding On**

 **A/N: Thank you so much for reading and supporting the story everyone! We're so excited to keep on sharing it with you, remember to leave a review if you can :)**

 **Chapter 3**

"So? I want to hear all about your first day. Did you make friends? How were your classes? Do you think Jason settled in okay?"

Sarah hated herself for it, but just _sometimes_ she wished that her Mom would pay her attention and not just as a way to check up on Jason.

Sarah sighed, "It was fine. Some of the kids are nice I guess. The guidance counsellor gave me a 'buddy' and thinks I should take some junior classes when I get settled in. Jason seems to like Mary."

"Good. That's good." Her Mom nodded as she started to unpack her briefcase. "I was hoping he would, she was the best choice. I was thinking, I wonder could we get you special permission to check up on him at lunch time? Just for the first few weeks…"

Sarah just about refrained from rolling her eyes, she could have told her Mom that she had joined a gang and was dropping out of school and she doubted she would have noticed. _But having to check up on Jason at lunch time?_ She wasn't exactly enthusiastic about starting a new school but she would like the opportunity to make friends if she could. And that meant spending time in her own building.

Her mother must have sensed her hesitation, "All right, we'll talk about it some other time, why don't you get started on your homework huh? I've got some files to work on."

She was already halfway buried under work by the time Sarah could reply. She had already done her homework. It had been ridiculously easy. She just might have to look into starting some junior courses.

* * *

Her second day started just the same as the first, rushing Jason to get to the bus.

It was slightly easier, seeing some familiar faces helped to ease her worries. Jay was there, Will Halstead and even Emily.

Jason made a beeline to Jay's seat and looked at Will with wide eyes.

"Hey buddy, what's up?" Will grinned.

"That's my seat." Jason stated and Sarah rushed over, trying to prevent a tantrum or scene from happening.

"Jason, that's not your seat, it's a bus. It'll be like a surprise, we can have a new seat everyday, it'll be fun."

"But that's my seat." His face crumpled, near tears and his voice was cracking, warning Sarah that he was about to start shouting.

"Jason…"

"It's mine."

"Sorry buddy, my mistake, take your seat." Will hopped up and beckoned Jason into his seat beside Jay.

Jason just sent Will wary glance before climbing up and saying hello to Jay.

"I'm so sorry. Thank you." Sarah tried to tell both Halstead brothers as the bus pulled off.

Will just waved away her apology as he grabbed the empty seat behind his brother. "You sitting down? Reese right?"

Sarah nodded dumbly and took the empty seat beside him. She could hear Jason asking Jay questions and the other boy seemed more than happy to try and answer them the best he could.

That was something new as well, but Jason seemed to trust him.

"I'm really sorry." She reiterated, her cheeks burning.

"Don't worry about it." Will shrugged with a smile. "Hey, by the way, I feel like I have to apologize on the behalf of the entire Gaffney student body that you were lumped with Connor Rhodes."

"Eh thanks?"

"He's an arrogant jerk. You'll be better off when it's over."

Jason was just not up for school that day at all. He froze the moment he saw Mary.

"I thought you liked Mary?" Sarah asked in a whisper as she crouched down in front of her brother. He played with the button on her jacket, avoiding her eye.

"What's up Jason?"

"I miss you. School is long."

"Yeah it is, but it's just like our last one right? I see you after school."

"But I liked being at home with you."

"I like being at home with you too. But we both have to go to school or Mom won't be happy. How about we both go to school and when I collect you we'll go and find the best milkshakes in Chicago?"

His little eyes lit up, "Really?"

She nodded, "Really. I love you."

He nodded back before allowing Mary to lead him into school, "You better get going Sarah, classes will have started." The older woman reminded Sarah.

* * *

Sarah cursed to herself. _How would being late on her second day look?_

She got to her locker and rooted out her books as everyone else was already milling to classes. She looked around like a deer caught in headlights, she had no idea where to go and Jay or Emily, or even Noah, were nowhere in sight.

"You look a little lost." Connor appeared behind her, glancing over her shoulder at the map in her shaking hands.

"I have no idea where I'm going and I'm late and I'm going to get in trouble and…"

He surprised Sarah by actually listening to her as she rambled on.

"You can blame me for being late, I'm your buddy, I held you up." He shrugged before taking another look at her timetable, "Ah, yeah, I know where you're going, follow me."

So she did just that.

"Downey loves me, I'll cover for you. He's a good teacher too."

He led her down the corridor and taking two right turns got to a classroom door.

He knocked and let himself in, apologizing for not arriving on time to school to show Sarah where her class was. Sarah really wanted the ground to just swallow her up, now her entire class knew Connor Rhodes was with her, and she didn't think that was a good thing considering all the glares she got from the girls.

Mr Downey just nodded and, thankfully, just told Sarah to take a seat wherever she wanted.

"You are so lucky." Emily somehow appeared at her desk just as class was dismissed.

"Sorry?"

"You have _the_ Connor Rhodes as your buddy. He's gorgeous and rich and he rocks that leather jacket and I think everyone in school wants to be with him."

"Really?"

"Uh huh. My brother, Ethan, he's a junior too and says that even though that girl who started with Connor last year…what's her name…Ava something or other, well she says that Connor is hers. Well Ethan heard it from Connor himself that Ava and him aren't a thing, which means Connor Rhodes is a free man. You have an in with him, I would totally abuse your position if I were you."

Emily felt like a whirlwind that managed to capture Sarah and bring her along with her to the next class.

"Ugh English, nope not this morning, it's far too early." Emily groaned, "Hey I'm going to head over behind the gym to meet some of my friends, you wanna come?"

Sarah blinked, taking a second to process the fact that Emily was going to skip class and wanted Sarah to come with her.

"Oh, eh, no thanks, I have to show my face I guess because I'm new…"

"True." Emily smiled, "Your loss, I'll catch you later." She disappeared into the crowd and left Sarah to introduce herself to yet another teacher.

Her lunch break came too soon and she nearly considered popping over and visiting Jason rather than having to face the cafeteria and it's various tables of cliques. She wasn't sure where she belonged yet.

She smiled to herself as she avoided the meatloaf and chose the other option and picked up her tray.

"Hi." A girl's voice came from behind her.

Sarah turned around, "Hi."

"Sorry, I was in the last class with you. You're new here, Sarah right?" The blonde girl asked.

"Yeah I'm new, unfortunately."

"I'm Monique. I figured the cafeteria isn't the friendliest place when you're new. Do you want to sit with me?"

"Really? That would be great. Thank you." Sarah sighed in relief.

"Sure thing." The girl smiled and led her to the table down the back that she hadn't noticed from the queue. Jay, Emily and a few other kids with familiar faces from her classes were seated at it.

Sarah should have watched where she was going because half way across the room, a tray crashed into hers. She watched helplessly as her lunch went flying to the ground.

"Watch where you're going." A girl spat at her. The same girl from the bus the previous morning. Her tray remained firmly in her hands. "And stay out of my way." She glared at Sarah before stalking off.

"Are you okay?" Monique asked as Sarah rubbed some of the remains of her lunch off her shoes.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You go on, I'll clean this up."

"You okay Reese?" Sarah looked up to see that Monique had been replaced by none other than Connor Rhodes.

"I'm fine." She gritted out, blinking back tears of embarrassment as she tried to clean up the mess.

For a guy supposed to be an arrogant jerk, Connor crouched down beside her and helped her clean up before offering her a hand to get back up. One which she ignored, she didn't need rumors about her on her second day.

"Thanks." She told him then cringed when her stomach growled. So much for lunch. She put her dirtied tray back.

"Come on, I'll get you lunch. My treat."

"No. Thank you."

"Come on Reese, I don't bite, I'm trying to be a good 'buddy' here." He offered her a lopsided smile.

That was how she found herself a the back of the queue with Connor Rhodes by her side.

"So, how are you finding things?" He asked.

"Fine."

"Good."

"Yeah."

He seemed to look at her like he was fighting a smile.

"So, your brother's pretty cool."

She shot him a look, waiting for the inevitable snide remark about Jason.

"He has a good choice in clothes." Connor shrugged.

Sarah gave a laugh with relief, "I guess so."

"I only have an older sister, I think I would have liked a younger sibling."

"Yeah I'm lucky to have Jason."

"He's lucky to have you too."

The queue moved quickly until she was left to choose again.

"So, not the meatloaf right?" She smiled.

"Definitely not, get anything you apart from that, today I'd recommend the tofu kimchi quesadilla."

He had picked the most expensive thing on the menu.

"Can I have a garden salad, please?" She asked the lunch lady.

She saw Connor shoot her a glance. "What? You said get anything I want." She shrugged.

She got her new tray and glanced around and finally found Monique at a table, with Jay and Emily.

Connor caught where she was looking. "You should probably grab a seat with your friends while you can. I think the less you're seen with me the better for them right?"

 _Was that a sad smile he shot her before he left her standing there?_

She watched him walk past the table with the popular girls, shrugging off the girl that had collided with Sarah. She didn't know why she cared who Connor hanged around with but she couldn't help but grin to herself. He had picked her over that popular girl, and it felt pretty good.

The half hour or so went smoothly, although Jay asked Sarah again if Connor had said something to her.

"He bought her lunch." Emily huffed. "Not that he'd ever even glance at a junior's way , consider yourself lucky."

Sarah saw Jay roll his eyes. "It's just to keep up appearances, he doesn't really care."

"I think you're just jealous, because you'll never be _that_ cool. " Emily told him, Sarah turned her head back slightly to glance over at Connor.

He caught her looking at him, wanting the earth to swallow her, she turned back.

"Ah, Sarah... your phone." Monique glanced over at the device jumping on the table.

"Mary?"

"Sarah, first off, I don't want you to worry but we're in the infirmary."

Sarah's heart sank. "Jason hit his head. He's lucid and talking but asking for you."

"I'm on my way." Sarah said quickly.

"Alright, thank you." Mary sighed.

"Everything okay?" Monique asked worriedly, probably because she practically jumped from her chair.

"I need to go." She told them, Jay gave her a puzzled glance. She grabbed her bag, her food, which remained untouched, was long forgotten.

Connor had turned his attention back, with Ava saying something and Nina and the other girls agreeing with her as they came by his table.

"Isn't that true Connor?"

Natalie rolled her eyes at Ava.

"What? Sorry." He told her.

"Oh forget it, my daddy is going to Australia next week, I'm sure he'll buy me the prettiest dress."

Nat gagged. "I hope no kangaroo has to die in the process." Ava glared at her.

Connor suppressed a laugh, which seemed to do the trick for Ava to walk away. "So where's Jeff?"

Nat shrugged. "I don't know, we sort of had a fight."

"Oh well, maybe he'll stay away for good this time."

Nat glared at him. "I hate to be best friends with a boy. Where's Henry anyway when you need him?"

"Okay, I deserve that." Connor smiled, offering her an apologetic glance. "I'm sorry, are you okay?"

"What happened there?" Nat replied, Connor followed her gaze confused. He watched as Sarah grabbed on her bag, dashing off.

"I'll be back." Connor said as he stood up, before Nat could reply.

Sarah rushed over, her mind racing even though Mary had said Jason was fine.

"Sarah?"

She thought it was Jay, but instead she found herself facing Connor. "Everything okay?"

"I'm... it's fine, Jason..." Sarah began rambling. "I need to get to him."

"Did he get hurt? I'll go with you." Connor offered.

"No, I'd rather you didn't..."

And then she was off.

"Should we go get her?" Monique asked.

"Nope." Emily smirked as she saw Connor. "I'm sure she's fine."

Jay glared at her. "I don't know what Mr. Charles was thinking."

"I think you might be in love or something Halstead." Emily huffed.

* * *

"I wouldn't worry about it, it was just a superficial cut." The nurse explained to Sarah. Jason sat next to her on a chair. "I've been trying to reach your mother."

Sarah sighed, she was probably in court, she'd never pick up. "It's my recommendation to take Jason home so he can rest."

"I'll take full responsibility for him," Mary said, Sarah could see her brother had began to tense up.

"Alright, his mother did say you are listed as his emergency contact as well." The nurse smiled.

Sarah wasn't comfortable with this, not even a little. She walked outside the building with Jason next to her.

Her brother stopped suddenly, his lip began quivering.

"Everything okay?" It was Connor. "That's a nasty cut bud, what happened?"

Jason wouldn't look at him.

Sarah was utterly surprised to find him there. "It's fine, thank you, We should get home Jason, come on." Mary told him.

"Did someone...?" Connor asked Sarah, she could sense real worry in his voice.

"No..." Sarah found herself saying. "He... uh this happens sometimes."

Connor smiled, walking over to the little boy. "Hey buddy.." he knelt in front of him, Sarah waited for Jason to pull back abruptly from him, but the boy actually just stood there. "it's okay, see there?" Connor pointed to his cheek. "I got hurt too."

Jason looked up at him curious as his bruise had become more evident. "But you're big."

"Well not that big, I got knocked down actually."

The little boy hesitated for a minute, glancing at his cut, curiously.

Sarah was holding her breath. "You don't have to worry about this, we can fix it for sure." Connor pointed to his cut.

"We have Avengers band aids, they didn't have any here."

"I'm sure Mary can get one for you as soon as you get home." He assured him.

"Is Sarah coming too?" Jason inquired.

Connor stood up, he was about to speak when Mary stepped forward.

"Sarah has to go back to class Jason. You'll see her after school."

"We're going for milkshakes." Jason told Connor, brushing off Mary.

"Awesome, I'll make sure she gets home early, I promise." Connor grinned.

"Okay," Jason turned to his sister. Sarah walked over to him. "You need to look for Connor Sarah, so you get home soon."

Sarah glanced over at Connor, a smile creeping in her face. "We'll see buddy, you rest okay?" I'll make sure to tell Mary were your band aids are."

They walked over to Mary's car, Sarah opened the door for Jason.

"Tell Mary to call me as soon as you get home, okay? I love you."

"Okay," Jason lowered his face.

"Let's get that seatbelt on." Sarah smiled as she helped him.

"Is he going to be okay?" Connor asked worriedly standing beside her.

"He will." Sarah assured him. "You didn't need to come I can handle it on my own."

" I don't doubt it," he said. "I'm extending my duty."

"Don't, I wouldn't want to give the wrong impression to anyone."

Conor glanced at her confused. "To whom?"

"We should get back inside." Sarah told him, turning around back to their building.

"Sarah I didn't... I saw you rush off like that, and thought it might be important." I didn't mean to overstep." Connor said kindly. "Plus, you left your lunch so I thought you'd be hungry."

Sarah had forgotten about food altogether, her stomach growling gave her out.

"Come on" Connor told her. "I'm sure class can wait a little."

"I'd rather not." She told him. Although she was pretty sure he'd get her off the hook with another teacher if she'd ask him.

"Right, I'm a bad influence." Connor sighed. "It's just food Reese." They'd reached the building.

"Look, I really appreciate what you did for Jason and I even think the intention to feed me it's charming but.."

"You want this buddy thing to have limits, right?"

"I guess." Sarah told him, walking away. "I have to get to class."

As soon as she got to the classroom, which she thankfully found rather quickly, Monique and the others were already sitting.

But the last thing she wanted was to explain Jason to them.

It was probably better to keep people away from her business for as much as she could.

But eventually, she'd have to try and explain to Jay she wasn't feeling well and so about 20 minutes after class had begun, she excused herself to go to the bathroom so she could call Mary and check on her brother.

As she came out back into the corridor, Connor stood nearby. Ha _d he been following her?_

"How's Jason?" He asked.

"Fine, I was just making sure he was okay with being alone with Mary, she barely knows him."

"I understand." Connor said softly. "But I'm sure she's more than qualified."

She glared at him. Sarah was honestly confused, again for a guy who didn't care and was an insufferable jerk, he'd been pretty amazing today.

Like he understood what she was dealing with.

"I should get back to class." She told him. "You're just going to stand there? Stalkingly?"

Connor huffed. "Actually," he took something out of his bag. "Here."

Sarah eyed the sandwich, her mouth watering, "I figured it's not salad, but.."

"Thank you." She said honestly. For the first time, her hand came in contact with his. "You really didn't have to."

"I'm your 'buddy' Mr. Charles wouldn't want you to starve."

 _Of course, Sarah thought, he was just doing what was expected of him. But then, why had he helped Jason?_

Connor Rhodes was becoming a mystery to her. "I'll see you later Reese, enjoy the sandwich."

He was gone before she could reply.

* * *

 **So... How adorable is Connor looking out for Sarah's little brother? Btw his character is meant to be Jason Wheeler from Med, we just thought the story worked better with her having a little brother. We'll keep seeing familiar faces as the story goes on.**

 **Thoughts? We'll see each other next week!**


	4. Chapter 4

**_Holding On_**

 **A/N: Thanks for supporting the story guys and we're so excited about the fact that you are enjoying our little nods to the show as well, Happy reading!**

 **Chapter 4.**

Sarah didn't have to wait around to find Connor after school, she got to the bus in record time, bundling out of the last class past a confused looking Jay and Monique and taking the seat at the front.

She let herself into her house and found Jason and Mary in the kitchen, he was busy watching something on his tablet.

"Thanks for bringing him home Mary, I really appreciate it."

"Oh it was no problem, he's feeling all better aren't you Jason?"

Jason looked up from his tablet, "Did Connor make sure you got home early?"

Sarah nodded absentmindedly as she went to look in the refrigerator.

"Can we have milkshakes now?" Jason asked.

Sarah knew brother wouldn't forget, she opened the refrigerator and sighed. Her Mom obviously hadn't bought the groceries yet. It was then she noticed the post it on the counter.

" _I'll be home late tonight, I'll pick up the groceries. Don't stay up, go get something to eat. Mom."_

She had left the note and money for food.

"You don't happen to know any good places to eat around here do you?" Sarah asked as she slumped against the counter.

Mary smiled softly as she shrugged on her jacket, "I do actually, my kids love a diner that's not far from here. Molly's is the best place for milkshakes in Chicago too." Mary winked as Jason's face lit up.

Later, Sarah and Jason ambled the few streets over to Molly's after Mary had left for home and given them directions.

It had a welcoming ambiance, a retro feel about the design with booths and stools against the counter. It was pretty busy, even for a Thursday evening. Most of the tables were taken by kids her own age and Sarah was having flashbacks of being in the clique filled cafeteria. Thankfully, she didn't notice anyone as she walked toward the counter that spanned the length of side wall with Jason in tow.

* * *

 _Jason saw him before she did._

Her brother bolted from her side and down the length of the counter towards him.

"…and can I have my Mom's regular to go please? It'll put a smile on her face." Connor Rhodes had just finished ordering as Sarah caught up with Jason.

"Sure thing Connor, I'll make sure the bacon is extra crispy for her, alright? Give her my best?" The man behind the counter smiled.

"Are you having a milkshake too?" Jason butted in before Sarah could stop him.

"Well, hey there Jason." Connor turned to look at the little boy. "You feeling better?"

Jason nodded.

Connor looked up to meet Sarah's eyes, "Hey Reese, who's doing the stalking now?" He smirked and gave a soft laugh.

"No one." She said, "We were just out and…" Sarah was distracted as Jason clambered up onto one of the tall stools.

"Can I have my milkshake?" He asked the man behind the counter.

"Hermann, these are my friends from school, they're new to Chicago." Connor said, "Jason here has had a rough day, you think you could make his milkshake extra special?"

"You're new here huh?" The man asked with a kind expression.

Jason nodded, "I miss my Dad and I like Mary but Sarah doesn't like her new school."

Hermann smiled and listened intently, "Well it sounds to me like you two need the Molly's Special Milkshake."

"Three." Jason replied.

"Three?"

"Yes. Connor helped get my sister home early like he promised. He makes her smile and she doesn't do that much anymore. So can Connor have a milkshake too?"

Sarah nearly stopped breathing at Jason's words, her cheeks burned and she became far too flustered when Connor caught her eye with a huge grin on his face, "Jason, I'm sure Connor has things to do…"

"I can have a milkshake, I'm just waiting on my order, I've got nowhere to be right now."

"Three Molly's Special Milkshakes coming up then. You kiddos take a seat." Hermann told them.

"Hey C." A voice said next to Hermann. Connor grinned.

"Hey man, working hard I see?"

The boy smiled. "Yep, just helping out since my mom can't work right now." Sarah recognized the boy talking to Connor, she'd seen him in the cafeteria with him and Natalie.

"Someone has to." Hermann put in. "Let's get those boxes out from the back."

"Coming." He sighed. "Oh hey Sarah."

 _How did he know her name?_

"Hey." Henry, Hermann's son smiled kindly as he fist bumped Connor quickly and disappeared to the back.

Sarah reached for her purse, but Hermann placed a hand in front of her."On the house." He said.

"Are you sure?"

"Think of it as a Molly's official welcome to Chicago."

"But…"

"No buts, anyone who can make my man Connor smile like that deserves it, take a seat kid."

Sarah didn't argue anymore but looked around and found Jason and Connor sitting at a table by the window, she saw how Connor was listening to her brother's latests fixation, they were probably on bikes or car these week.

Jason had taken the window seat and Connor had sat beside him so Sarah slid into the seat opposite Jason, at least then she wouldn't be too close to her 'buddy'.

"So what are the kids like at your school?"

Jason shrugged, "There's a lot of them, they like being loud too."

"I thought so too when I first started at Gaffney." He winked.

"You're new?"

"Uh huh, last year."

"Where did you move from?" Sarah asked, going against her better judgement of getting involved.

"I'm Chicago born and bred but, I had to...change schools,Lakeside Memorial. It's this posh school over a few blocks."

Sarah nodded, "I researched all the schools in our area, I've heard of it."

"You researched the schools?"

"Yeah…" She said her eyes drifting towards her little brother who was now gazing attentively out the window.

"Ah.." Connor nodded in understanding, "Well for what it's worth, I like Gaffney better."

"Really?"

Connor laughed, "Don't sound so surprised."

"Well you're getting into fights…" Sarah wished she could take back her words, she didn't want to sound so judgmental but she also didn't want to let her guard down, not with someone who her brother had taken a shine to.

She tended to have a soft spot for those people and they've only come to disappoint her.

"One fight." He corrected her, "Okay three, but they were all with Will Halstead, the guy's an arrogant jerk."

"Really?" _She thought he was the arrogant jerk._

"Yes."

"You know I think you two are more alike than you think."

Connor sent her a mock glare as a waitress dropped their milkshakes over; _She sounded like his mom;_ Jason's came with two cookies on the side and Sarah decided she liked the place.

"Are you Sarah's new best friend?" Jason asked while munching on a cookie.

Connor's eyebrows shot up in surprise, "Eh, well I'm her buddy, I help her out at school."

"You're like Mary then?" Jason inquired.

Connor smiled. "something like that, yeah."

Okay."Jason looked down at his glass. "Just don't hurt her okay?"

"Jason…" Sarah whispered, trying to catch his eye.

"Okay."

"And don't make her cry like Joey did."

Connor's gaze flickered toward her momentarily and she wanted the ground to swallow her up. "I don't plan on it."

This apparently was enough to soothe any of Jason's worries and he went back to slurping his milkshake.

Connor moved his glass around in his hands, "So…how was your class with Downey afterwards?"

"It was good, thanks."

A smile played on Connor's lips, "Good."

"I'm thinking of taking on some junior classes though." _She didn't know why she was telling him._

"Really?"

"Yeah, I took some back at my old school, I liked the challenge but it's weird already being the new kid to start changing classes again."

"But it's easy to do that, to stay the same, try to do the same as everyone else and blend in. You should go for it."

Sarah murmured her approval, playing with her straw.

"Plus, it's no fun, doing what people expect of you, there's more excitement going against the current than with it." He smiled charmingly.

"Connor? Is that you?" A girl's voice, actually the girl who had all but run over Sarah with her lunch tray, resounded from the doorway.

Sarah looked on as Connor visibly cringed, "Speaking of stalking…" He mumbled under his breath, loud enough for Sarah to hear.

"What a coincidence! I don't usually visit places like this…" She looked around as if something smelled bad, "But Nina and Doris insisted. So, are you doing anything this evening? We haven't got a chance to hang out like we used to…" She all but pouted.

Connor rubbed the back of his neck, "Eh Ava, this is Sarah Reese, she's the new student I've been helping out, and this is her brother Jason."

"We've met." Ava nearly shot at him, "You're friends with the Halsteads and their band of weirdos aren't you?"

Sarah shrank back in her seat.

"You're the mean girl from the bus..." Jason remarked innocently causing Sarah to fight back a smile and Ava to scoff.

"Excuse me?" She asked.

Connor stood up to block Ava from Jason's view, "I actually can't do anything, sorry I was just picking something up for my Mom, it should be ready by now anyway. I have to get going."

He turned back to the Reese siblings, "Hey, thanks for the milkshake, I better get home. See you around?"

"Yeah." Sarah told him as he stalked over to the counter to pick up a bag of food, trying to shake Ava off along the way.

She told herself it was stupid to be disappointed when he left and she felt the tiniest bit lonely.

* * *

They got home a little later, with two burgers and waters courtesy of Hermann, Sarah figured milkshakes didn't really count as dinner anyway.

"Go and get ready for a bath, I'll come in a minute." She told her brother.

Jason pouted at first. "I'll give you 15 extra minutes on the tablet if you break the record."

That was enough to get him to the back bathroom. "No locking the door!" Sarah called.

She got out Jason's Pj's, Bumblebee, this week and heard him call for her to come and check if he'd done a good job.

Sarah smiled as she bathed him and he talked away, playing with his bikes on the water.

"Sarah? Is Dad coming soon?"

Sarah held her breath. "He said he would." James was always a tricky subject with Jason, he loved his father, probably more than anyone would guess and he missed him terribly.

James wasn't a bad dad, he was great from the parents Sarah had known standards, but he had been overwhelmed by the situation of having a special needs child and having to care for a girl that wasn't his.

"I don't know." Sarah admitted. "I'll ask mom later if we can call him tomorrow, okay?"

Jason bit his lip. "Okay."

 _She would call this a won fight._

* * *

Connor came home just as his mother was being taken inside by Kelly. "Oh there he is." the nurse smiled. "Good."

"What are you guys up to?" Connor asked.

"Nothing, we were just waiting to see if you'd keep your end of the bargain." Kelly smiled.

Connor's gaze softened. "Ah, yeah, what song are we on today?"

"I believe it was Cole Porter…"

"Right." He took the handles of his mother's wheelchair. "How are you feeling today?"

"It was a good one." Elizabeth told him as she reached for his cheek from behind. "You? No more getting in trouble?"

"It's only Thursday…" Connor said cautiously. "But no, Nat kept me on my toes."

"Good, is she still dating that boy we met last year?"

"Sadly," Connor informed her as they reached the living room, which contained a giant piano.

"You'd be good together,I've always believed so."

Connor rolled his eyes. "Mom…"

"What? I want you to be happy, Natalie's from a good family and we've known her parents since you two were with Mrs. Hannigan."

Bless Mrs. Hannigan. That was his piano teacher and the one person responsible for him meeting Natalie.

It had been her parents that had recommend Gaffney when he got kicked out of the academy.

"I don't see Natalie like that Mom, she's like my sister." Connor huffed.

"Fine, sorry." Connor helped his mother into the small chair next to the piano as he sat on the stool.

"Oh good, I didn't miss it." Katie smiled. "I've already got what you asked me for ready in case we get hungry from all the playing." The old woman winked at Connor.

"Thank you Katie, you're the best."

"I don't like you two plotting without me." Elizabeth gazed at the two of them suspiciously.

"Are we ready?" Kelly came into the room. "I've brought you a blanket m'am."

Kelly sat by the arm of the couch and handed Elizabeth the wool blanket, it was warm outside but the house clearly was below the right temperature for his mother's health.

Connor sighed, turning to his around as his hands moved to the keys and a melody began to play.

His mother's eyes closed as she enjoyed the melody and her son's voice.

 _You'd be so easy to love_

 _So easy to idolize all others above_

 _So worth the yearning for_

 _So swell to keep every home fire burning for_

 _And we would be so grand at the game_

 _Carefree together that it does seem a shame_

 _That you can't see your future with me_

 _Cause you'd be, oh, so easy to love_

 _You'd be so easy to love_

 _Easy to idolize all others above_

 _So worth the yearning for_

 _So swell to keep all the home fires burning for_

 _We'd be so grand at the game_

 _So carefree together that it does seem a shame_

 _That you can't see your future with me_

 _Cause you'd be, oh, so easy to love_

 _Easy to love_

 _Easy to love_

In the final notes, Connor looked over at his mom, she was tired he knew but nothing made her happier than those little moments in which there didn't seem to be nothing more than the music.

The kids at school were right about one thing about him, that stereotypical tendency that all the rich kids were enrolled in expensive piano lessons, yet it was one of his favorite things to do, just him and his mother.

Small clapping pulled him back from his thoughts, "That was beautiful sweetheart."

Connor smiled softly.

"I'm suddenly hungry, who's with me?" Katie winked at Connor.

"So, I brought you something…" He told his mom as they both sat in the small kitchen table, there wasn't much point in using the dining room anyway. "I'm sure Kelly's gonna have my head for it, but it will be totally worth it."

He gave her a toothy grin. Elizabeth eyed plate in front of her as Katie brought it over. "Enjoy."

"Molly's?"

Connor shrugged. "Hermann says hi."

Elizabeth smiled. "Thank him for me, aren't you going to eat?"

"I'm good, I had a Molly's special earlier." His mom looked sternly at him for a moment.

"Is that why you are in such a good mood? Sugar?"

Connor shrugged again. "Maybe."

"How are things going at school? Is Sarah settling okay?"

"She's fine." He told her. "Soon, she won't need me anymore." Elizabeth sensed a glint of sadness in his voice. "Nat says, she'll be here Friday after school, is that okay?" He added rather quickly.

"Perfect." They remained quiet for a moment as Elizabeth held on to her burger and took small bites. "Connor?"

"Yeah?"

"Something else on your mind?"

He bit his lip. "Do we still have some of my old toys upstairs?"

His mother shot in a puzzled look. "What are you up to?"

* * *

The next few days seemed to pass in a daze for Sarah, there were still a few teachers to meet and other classmates to annoy apparently, specially that girl Ava who seemed to glare at her constantly.

She saw Connor here and there, he walked her to class and even waited for her and Jason at the bus, the little boy seemed to be more and more attached to him.

And that worried Sarah, specially because she was sure once the 'buddy' thing was over, they would go back to being a sophomore and a junior and she'd be a ghost on her own again.

Friday afternoon came, Sarah had officially survived her first week at Gaffney unscathed.

"So? Did we make the cut?" Jay asked as they walked over to the bus with Jason in tow.

"What?" Sarah asked absentminded.

"How did you like your first week?" Jay smiled.

"Oh, yeah, I didn't get thrown food on me more than once so I guess I'd call it a success."

He laughed. "Good."

Sarah saw the kids gather on the bus as she made it on with Jason and sat in front, him on the window.

The other kids, including Emily's brother Ethan, who she'd met and Will Halstead sat around her.

"So Sarah, a bunch of us are gathering for a bonfire this weekend, You in?" Emily asked as the bus pulled away.

Not her kind of gathering, she preferred to be locked in her room with a good book to read. "Doesn't that happen the week after school?"

She asked, research, she hadn't been invited to a bonfire before.

"Yeah, well it's your first week, so a bonfire is in order." She told her.

Sarah froze. "It's okay, you don't have to bother…"

"Don't even try and persuade her." Monique mumbled. "She'll always find a way to tell you why it's a good idea."

She sighed.

"You have to come Reese, it's an initiation of sorts here at Gaffney." Will told her with a smile.

 _How could say no to peer pressure?_

"You really don't have to…" They'd reached her stop. Jason had already stood up.

"See you tomorrow?" Emily told her. "I'll text you the address?"

* * *

Natalie Manning had learned early on that being best friends with Connor Rhodes came with it's perks.

Bless Katie's chocolate chip cookies. "We've miss your pretty face around here sweetie." The elder woman told her.

"I've missed you guys, you have no idea." Nat smiled.

"Good, then you will be coming around more often?"

"Katie…"

"What?" The woman turned to both teens. "I'll admit I have my favorites and she's one of them."

Natalie smiled as she and Connor climbed up the stairs. "Is Claire still MIA?"

"Pretty much, she's only around by the time my dad comes home, like moth to light." Nat giggled.

"Connor?" Came Elizabeth's voice.

"Hi." Natalie opened the door slightly, a bright smile appeared on the woman's face.

"Nat, I thought that was you, how are you honey?"

"I'm good." Natalie smiled. "Sorry I've been a little busy."

"No, of course…you don't have to apologize."

"I do, that's no excuse…" Nat mumbled. "Really, Connor's been keeping me up to date enough." Elizabeth said kindly. Nat blushed. "I like to hear that you've been doing good."

"Yeah, my mom said she'd come and visit soon now that my brother is in day-care."

"How's is everyone?"

"Good, we're all good, thank you." Nat bit her lip.

"Oh lord, I'm not that scary am I?" Elizabeth asked softly. "I wish I could wear a wig or something…so I wouldn't look as dreadful."

"Mom…"

"No, let me fuss, I've been bald for too long."

"I think you look beautiful." Natalie said. "Maybe a little nail polish?"

"Please, I'd ask Claire but she's going through her second adolescence right now."

Nat gazed at Connor. "Come, sit, I want to hear more about you…"

"There's not really much to tell.." Nat suddenly felt on the spot.

"I thought you'd heard enough from me?" Connor joked pulling a chair for Nat and himself next to Elizabeth.

"Are you still dating Jeff?"

"Yep." Natalie said. "And Connor still disapproves."

"That sounds like my son, he's keeps looking out for you, doesn't he?"

"Always." Natalie smiled. "Although I've barely seen him this week, he's been busy."

"Ah, with his 'buddy?" Elizabeth gazed at her son.

"Yep, he's been doing a great job…" Nat smiled.

"Just a week or more so of that and you'll have me back to being your driver, don't worry." Connor said mockingly.

"Oh, no please, becoming a buddy seems to be doing you good." His best friend remarked, earning a smile from Elizabeth.

Connor blushed and then rolled his eyes. "Yes I think so too."

But soon it would all be over, and he felt a sense of emptiness, truth was, he enjoyed taking care of people, his mom and Natalie being his priority.

 _Was he enjoying taking care of Sarah too?_

* * *

 **Happy Wednesday guys! What did you think? We fill in a few blanks on Sarah and Connor in this chapter. Drama ensures ahead so be sure to stay tuned!**

 **Also, check out the song "Easy to Love" From Anything Goes, that Colin actually sings** **beautifully** **in the Cast Recording, this was a small nod to him and his Musical** **Theatre** **background.**

 **Don't forget to review, to hear what you think makes us happy :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Holding On**

 **A/N: it's Wednesday so we have a new chapter for you guys! Thank you to everyone for checking this out and supporting us, the story is so much fun to write and work on.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 5.**

Sarah finally made it to the train. She had changed her outfit at least four times before leaving her room and then had to calm Jason down when he found out that she was leaving for the evening. Mary had offered to babysit when she found out that Sarah had been invited to a party and her Mom was working late again.

 _On a Saturday_.

She took her seat, checking her phone again and seeing no calls from Mary, she settled her head against the window and turned on music as the train rattled along.

The bonfire was being held at Emily and Ethan's parents second house out in the suburbs where there was more land and trees than houses. She got off at the stop that Emily had told her to and walked down the street of shops and down a side street where the houses could fit Sarah's in the foyer.

The Choi's house was lit up and Emily and Monique were on the porch waiting for her.

"Sarah, you came! Yay!" Emily barrelled off the porch and hugged her, "Come on in, it's going to be the event of the year." She exclaimed as she led Sarah through the front door.

"It's an annual thing they have when their parents are out of town." Monique explained as Emily went in search of drinks. "Ethan holds it for Emily, he thinks if she's going to party, he'd rather she do it under his nose."

It made sense to Sarah, Ethan seemed like the textbook definition of protective big brother.

She made it outside and found the Halstead brothers and Ethan lighting the bonfire. It roared into life in the cold air and immediately Sarah could feel it's heat.

"Hey Reese! Enjoy your official welcome to Gaffney." Will grinned as he wandered off.

Emily set up the music and people seemed to flood in, more people than she thought went to school, in fact some of them seemed familiar from Molly's.

"I thought this was going to be a small get together?" She asked Monique, feeling bad because she had to shout over the noise of the music, the fire and the crowd.

"That was years ago, it just gets bigger every year. I don't think we even go to school with half these people." She admitted.

Sarah glanced around. Her Mom would kill her if she knew she was going to her first high school party, not a friendly get together.

"Halstead, grow a pair and ask her out already would you?" Emily scoffed as she threw an arm around Jay's shoulder.

"I don't know who you're talking about." Jay replied.

"He's been in love with this girl Erin since like the 7th grade, she goes to Olinksy High School but she hangs out at Molly's with her friends and Jay follows her around like a little puppy." Emily filled Sarah in.

"I do not!" Jay protested.

"Do too!"

Sarah smiled into her soda, enjoying that for the next few hours she didn't have to worry about anything but the latest school gossip. She liked that they were including her.

"OH MY GOD." Emily gasped, nearly falling out of her standing as she looked at the back door.

"What?" Sarah asked, looking over her shoulder.

"Connor freaking Rhodes has just arrived to my party." She squealed.

"What's he doing here?" Jay asked as Will appeared by his side.

"You have got to be kidding me, who invited him?" the older Halstead asked.

"He's with Natalie Manning and Henry Herrmann, maybe they asked him?" Monique asked.

"But I only invited Henry, Doris badgered me into it." Emily rolled her eyes. "I didn't invite Natalie."

Will nearly went as red as his hair, rubbing the back of his neck, "I, eh, may have mentioned the party to Nat…"

"Do you think Connor is with Nat?" Emily's shoulders slumped.

"Nah, she's with that jerk Jeff." Will mumbled.

"Then where is he?"

"How do I know?" He replied as he glared at Connor's back.

Sarah offered to her and Monique and Emily more sodas as they all dissected the newest event of the night. Natalie met her at the drinks table in the kitchen.

"Hey! Sarah right?" She smiled.

"That's me."

"How's putting up with Connor going?" She asked with a laugh.

Sarah shrugged, "It's not so bad." She didn't want to insult him in front of what may be his newest girlfriend.

"He acts all tough, but he's a sweetheart underneath it all. We've been friends since we were kids."

"That's cool."

"So how are you finding everything?" The older girl asked.

"Okay, but being new, there's a lot to get used to…"

Natalie nodded, "I'd say it's tough. But Connor had to go through that too, so maybe Mr Charles was onto something, making him your Buddy."

Sarah smiled politely as Natalie walked away.

* * *

Connor did not want to be here. But it made his Mom happy.

Natalie had turned up in tears at his house, her idiot boyfriend Jeff had stood her up. After weeks of being on and off he had promised to bring her to the Choi's annual party. And he hadn't turned up and left no explanation.

Both Elizabeth and Connor were annoyed.

Connor was ticked off because Nat deserved someone better than Jeff, but he was also really annoyed. Because it was hard enough to see his Mom the way she was, but to see her sad for Nat too?

He wanted to hunt Jeff down and give him a piece of his mind, or even better, a hit of his fist.

But instead of letting his Rhodes anger get the better of him, he got dressed for the party. He didn't want to go, he hadn't been invited but then Nat started crying and his Mom told him in no uncertain terms that he was going.

" _Isn't Henry going anyway?" Connor asked, "Why can't you go with him?"_

 _"No! Because then people would assume Jeff and I are fighting and I don't want that getting back to him" Nat sniffed._

 _"Why do you want to go anyway?" Connor was getting a headache. He wished he could just make Jeff Morgan disappear from Natalie's life._

 _Nat shot him a look, "Because I like having friends other than you and Henry. And Will asked me and I said I'd go…"_

 _"Halstead really?"_

 _"He was being nice, if you just gave him a chance…"_

 _"You know what? The last thing I want is to have a heart to heart over Halstead, I'll go with you and Henry and then Jeff won't think anything, alright?"_

 _"Have I mentioned you're the best?" She smiled through her tears and pecked him on the cheek._

So now he stood in the middle of the backyard with the bonfire blazing as the music pumped from the speakers.

"Help me." Henry appeared at his side.

Connor laughed, "What's up?"

"Doris is here and she keeps following me around." Henry glanced around under his fringe, "So anyone caught your eye tonight?"

"You and my mother should have meetings on my love life." Connor scoffed, "No, I'm here solely to keep an eye on Nat, but annoying Halstead is a rather good perk."

He caught sight of Sarah in the crowd, in what looked like a frenzied conversation with Ethan's little sister. Emily then nearly pushed Sarah away from her and towards someone.

Not someone.

 _Him._

Sarah was blushing and it wasn't from the heat of the fire as she kept glancing back to Emily who looked like she was bouncing up and down with excitement.

She approached him, trying to avoid his eye, "Hi."

"Hey 'buddy'." He smiled, "How are you finding your first Gaffney party?"

"Good, yeah." She scruffed her foot against the ground, "Eh, Emily wants to know what you think of the party." She admitted, finally meeting his eyes.

"Can she not ask me herself?" He asked with a smile playing on his lips.

"Apparently not." She sighed, "She says I have an 'in' with you…she thought you'd talk to me…I don't know." She glanced around nervously.

"You okay Sarah?" He asked half under his breath, low enough so any prying ears wouldn't hear.

"This is me trying to make friends…And I don't really think parties are my thing." She admitted, cringing as she caught sight of someone bringing in a keg.

"Ooh Ethan will not be happy, that's April's boyfriend Tate, some college freshman who thinks getting high school kids drunk is a fun Saturday night." He explained as the kids flocked to it.

"I didn't really want to be here anyway either." He told her.

"Really?"

"Nope." He said, "I'm just here because Nat's idiot boyfriend is being more of an idiot than usual." He shrugged.

"I thought you'd have a date." She said before looking like she wanted the ground to swallow her up, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"You've heard the rumours then huh?" He smirked, "I was the new kid with a lot of money, gossip travels fast."

"Jeff!" Nat's delighted call interrupted their conversation and Connor looked on as his best friend ran past him and into the arms of Jeff, who had arrived with his own array of friends.

The only person who looked as disappointed as he felt was Will Halstead, standing by himself, looking like someone had told him Christmas was cancelled.

Connor lost Sarah to her new friends who had sucked her back into their circle.

He went inside, the Choi family had good taste, the house was something even his father would have approved of, and Ethan had the good sense to hide everything valuable.

"Rhodes." Will nodded as he passed by.

"Halstead." Connor replied.

Connor smirked to himself as he got another soda, his mother would have his head if she found out he drank and drove. Jeff seemed to have priority over Connor on Will Halstead's list of people to aggravate because Will just walked past Connor without glancing back.

"Jeff, no, I said no…" Connor's blood ran cold at Nat's voice coming from the hallway, he dropped his soda and dashed.

Nat was half fighting, half holding up Jeff who was grabbing at her. "C'mon baby."

"Jeff, I said no, you're drunk." Nat told him, slapping his hand off her hip, "Could you not just be sober for once? Take me out on a normal date like normal couples?" Nat's voice shook and Connor wasn't surprised that Will appeared by his side in the doorway. Nat's voice had a way of calling him.

He gave Will a loaded glance and Will nodded once.

They mightn't see eye to eye over most things, but Natalie Manning was something they agreed on. And Jeff didn't get to use her like this.

"Alright man, get off her, you heard her." Connor started as Will grabbed one of Jeff's arms.

"Get off me!" Jeff screamed, whirling away from Nat and facing the two boys.

April came in the door and was surprised by the fact that Nat was crying in the hallway but recovered quickly and pulled her into a hug and away from Jeff.

"Calm down Jeff, you're drunk and Nat doesn't need that right now." Will told him.

"Oh yeah and who says that? The Halstead scum and the Rhodes rich boy huh?" He laughed.

"Shut up Jeff. You should go home." Connor said.

"I'm sick of you two, do you know that? Nat never shuts up about the two of you idiots, you're only juniors…think you can push a senior around?" He spat before shoving Connor against a wall.

Everything became a blur as Will grabbed Jeff and flung him to the floor and away from Connor. Connor rubbed the back of his head that stung but when Jeff started to wrestle with Will he reached down and pulled the senior up and punched him hard enough to make his nose bleed.

"Get off of him." Connor said, "And stay away from us, and from Nat."

Will stood up, fixing his shirt. "What he said."

"You guys are idiots." Jeff scoffed, "You and me? All I wanted was a repeat performance of last week." He smirked to Natalie and Connor watched as his best friend paled, "We're through."

Jeff finally staggered off as Natalie started to cry into April's arms.

"C'mon, no one should see you cry, I'll help you get cleaned up." April said, helping Natalie along to the bathroom.

Will and Connor stood in silence watching the one thing they had in common walk away.

Connor cleared his throat, "Thanks man."

Will shrugged, "Yeah whatever."

"That jerk doesn't deserve Natalie."

"You can say that again."

"I'm grabbing another soda, you want one?"

Will looked at him with a wary glance, "Sure. Why not?"

* * *

"Sarah? You okay?" Jay asked as she nearly threw her phone to the ground in frustration.

"I'm fine." She lied, "My phone just died, I didn't realise I had left the internet on and now…" She flicked the dark screen toward him.

"Oh that's okay though, do you want to call anyone? You can use mine?" He pulled his own phone from his pocket.

She hesitated. Because she needed to call Jason to check up on him, she had told him to call her cell whenever he needed to but now her's was dead and she was afraid he'd call and she wouldn't be able to answer him. But she didn't want to explain it all to Jay, Will,Emily, Monique and April and Nat who stood near her.

 _But Jason won every time_.

"Would you mind? I'll make it quick, I promise."

"Of course! Take your time." He said, handing her his cell.

She took it and took a few steps away from her group and dialed Mary's number.

"Hello?" Mary's voice came down the phone line.

"Hi Mary, it's Sarah, is Jason there?"

"Oh hi Sarah, yeah he's here, Jason, sweetheart, it's your sister."

"Sarah?"

"Hey Jason, Are you having fun with Mary?"

"Why didn't you answer?"

"I'm sorry my phone…"

"I was scared you didn't pick up. You said you'd always pick up."

"I know buddy…"

"Where are you, are you coming home soon?" His voice wavered on the verge of tears. "I want you to come home. I miss you and where's Mom and why can't Dad come and get me and…"

"Jason." She stated in a loud voice to try and get his attention and to stop him panicking but all of her friends looked over in alarm at her.

"Jason, it's fine, I'm coming home. I'll be there to tuck you in like always okay? I love you."

"You promise?" He whispered.

"I promise, I'll be there before you close your eyes."

The phone line went dead and Sarah shakily handed her phone back to Jay.

"Is everything okay?" He asked tentatively.

"Not really." Sarah said, on the verge of her own tears, "I have to go. I'm sorry Emily, I have to get home." She apologised.

"Reese you could but there's not another train for the next hour at least." Will informed her.

Her heart started beating too hard in her chest, she wrung her hands, "I need to get home, it's my brother, I promised him and he's upset and…"

"It's okay, we'll figure it out." Jay reassured her.

"Yeah." Will agreed, "We'll find someone with a car."

"Connor has one, he brought me and Henry." Natalie told them.

* * *

If Will Halstead talking to him once in one night was a strange experience for Connor, watching Will approach him for a second time was downright bizarre.

"Connor, we need your help." Will said with as much pleasure as if he was being forced to chew on glass.

"Is it Nat?" He asked, standing up from where he had been talking to Ethan.

"No, it's Reese."

He stopped, "Sarah? What do you need me for?"

"She needs to get home, her phone is dead and Nat said you have your car."

"Yeah, where is she?" He pulled his keys from his pockets and followed Will to the front garden where Sarah was pacing back and forth and Jay Halstead was standing with her.

"Hey Sarah, you need a ride?" He asked and watched as she stopped to look at him, looking like a nervous deer about to take flight.

"Eh, yeah, no, it's fine, it's just Jason, but you don't have to…your buddy obligations don't go this far and…"

He shrugged, "Doesn't matter, is Jason okay?"

She didn't answer but her hands were shaking.

"C'mon, I was ready to leave anyway," The lie slipped off his tongue, "I'll give you a ride, it's no big deal." He smiled softly, "Anyway I promised Jason I'd help you right?"

She laughed and scrunched up her nose, "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely." He nodded.

"Okay." She glanced at the phone in her hand, "Oh thanks for that Jay." She said trying it to Jay.

"Nah you hold onto it."

"I can't." She protested.

"You need it." He shrugged, "But are you sure you're okay? You look a little pale…"

She sure was comfortable with the Halsteads, Connor mused, more than she was with him.

Sarah nodded but went back to calling on the cell phone and Jay looked at Connor, "Mind if we come with?"

He didn't think his evening would end with Halsteads and Sarah in his car, but the sophomore was shaken and seemed to like their company.

Natalie's parents were coming to collect her and Henry was going home with her so Connor really didn't have any reason to stick around either.

"Hi Mary, yeah, I know, no Mom won't answer when she's in her office, I know…" Sarah mumbled down the phone in the backseat. "When he asks for his Dad it's better not to answer directly, no, yeah…"

Will shot him a look from the passenger seat, wondering if Connor knew what was happening, but Connor knew all about family secrets and it wasn't his place to tell.

"Jason, hey please don't cry." She begged, "I'm on my way home, I promise…"

She huffed, "He hung up again." She put the phone back onto her lap.

"We'll get you home soon." Jay reassured her. "It wasn't a great party anyway."

"Yeah that's because Erin was having none of your attempts at flirting." Will told him and Jay reached over and swatted the back of his brother's head, which made Sarah chuckle softly.

"Hey Reese, you've been brought up to speed on my brother's dismal love life right? It's Emily's favourite topic of conversation."

"Says the guy who has been in love with the same girl since like the 1st grade." Jay retorted.

" _Oh I wonder if Erin will be at Molly's today?"_ Will did a bad imitation of Jay.

"Shut up Will." Jay scoffed.

* * *

Connor couldn't believe it but he was actually happy he had brought them along, it broke any awkward silence and let Sarah focus on something else.

By the time they got back to the city, Sarah had called Jason another five times and Jay and Will were swapping stories of how horrendous the other's love lives were.

Sarah practically jumped out of the car before he had even pulled up properly.

"Thank you so much you guys." Sarah hastily added before bounding over the grass. She didn't even look back as she opened the door.

His heart broke for her. She was new, she was dealing with whatever was going on with her Mom and Jason's Dad, helping with Jason and trying to be fourteen.

Sarah made it inside and headed to Jason's room, her brother's door was never locked. Mary sat there with Jason on the bed as he seemed to have finally calmed down.

"Jason…"

He didn't look at her, he was fidgeting with his pajama shirt.

She then noticed another band aid on him. It was fresh.

He had been trying to hit himself again and it had been all her fault.

"Is she going to be okay?" Jay asked.

Connor gripped the steering wheel, "I guess so. Jason relies on her." He didn't think Claire would never leave a party if he asked her to.

"Yeah, she seems really nice." Will said.

"Hey, you looking out for her in school right?" Jay piped up at Connor.

"I don't know what you two think of me, but I wouldn't just abandon her. I know what it's like to be the outsider." He pulled off, "Where to?"

Will hesitated before giving him his address.

"Canaryville?" Connor asked.

"Yeah, sorry you have to drive your new car over to the wrong side of the tracks." Will sneered, "But it's not like we can walk home at this hour of the night."

Connor didn't say anymore. He just drove as silence filled the car.

He pulled up where they told him to, a street where music was being blared from a few houses, a group of guys on the corner were having some argument.

"Thanks for the ride I guess." Jay mumbled as they got out of the car and up towards their door. They banged loudly until it was opened and a man, swaying and slurring his words appeared in the doorway and proceeded to have an argument with the brothers before moving aside to let them in. Connor drove on, pretending he hadn't seen anything, they wouldn't want him to.

He knew all about crappy home lives.

Maybe Sarah and Nat were right. Maybe, he and Will were more alike than they thought.

* * *

 **What did you think of this one guys? Could Connor and Will become friends?**

 **We're starting to see more familiar faces show up! Also, we are trying really hard to portray Jason properly, so we hope we are.**

 **See you next week and thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Holdig On.**

 **Happy Wednesday! Longest chapter yet guys, let us know what you think of this one.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Chapter 6.**

Sunday morning came and Sarah woke up a little later than usual, she'd been pretty drained from having to settle Jason down after yet another meltdown. She didn't hear anything coming from outside her room and it the small home that was a weird occurrence, Sarah had come to find. She glanced over at her phone and sighed, her stupid cell had been the reason Jason had been so freaked the night before, she promised to get enough money last summer to buy a new one but she still couldn't afford it.

She came out of her room quietly, Sunday was the only day her mother was home and she liked to sleep late, Sarah peeked into Jason's room to find him still asleep and she sneaked down to the kitchen in search of food.

She munched into some cookies as she climbed back to her room, glass of milk included and closed the door behind her so she could indulge in some well deserved Sunday rest.

Her phone chimed suddenly. It was a text from Monique who'd wanted to make sure she was alright. Sarah sighed and replied back, then a text from Emily appeared on the screen, which came to as a surprise as she didn't expect the girl to be up at this time after last night.

Then there was another chime on her phone, it was Connor, asking how she was. She had only saved his number because Jason insisted she might need it and of course she had saved, Jason had spoken with him standing there and she didn't want to be rude.

Sarah felt as a smile crept into her mouth as soon as she saw his text. He really was much more than what the kids at the school would make him seem to be, she'd seen that happen more than once since she had met him

And in addition, he had asked about Jason too of course which made her smile even wider.

* * *

Connor fidgeted with his phone as he hit sent. He'd been worried about Reese, he had seen just how much of a bad shape Jason was at and knowing just how hard it was to deal with that much at such a young age, not that he minded, his mother had been sick for so long he was kind of used to it. He moved to his desk where the box he'd taken out of the attic a few days back sat, sometimes he wished he could go back at being a young kid, a little boy with spiky hair and bright blue eyes, a smile that usually played on his face.

That kid before his mother had gotten sick. He stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him. Claire's door was locked as usual, he and his sister had been close once but then she began accomplishing things and he kept falling back which greatly annoyed Cornelius.

 _Not tough enough,_ he'd said. It was clear he expected someone else, someone who had interest in the family business and could carry it through.

"Good morning." Kelly came into view as he made his way downstairs. "How was the party last night?"

Ah, yes, it seemed Connor didn't just have a mom but also a Katie and Kelly, his two confidants.

"It was fine." He huffed.

"Of course, sometimes I forget you are a teenager." She chuckled. "Honest, did you and Nat have fun?"

 _Oh yeah it was a blast_. "I didn't drink and drive Kelly."

"No, I know." She told him softly. "It was really nice of you to go with her and Henry."

"Not like I had much of a choice." Connor told her, Kelly smirked.

"I'm going to get your Mom ready and we can go for a walk?" The older woman suggested.

"Sure, she'll love that." He saw Kelly disappear by on the top stair.

"Good morning baby." Elizabeth came into the kitchen a moment later being held by Kelly and Katie as she'd wanted to walk, that was a good sign. "How was the bonfire?"

"Hi, it was okay." He smiled softly. "Did Kelly told you we're going for a walk?"

"Actually, I just got a call from Chris, Cindy had the baby." He told her.

 _Ah, yes, the lucky baby number 6._ "Really? Henry didn't say anything."

"They drove over to the hospital pretty late. I would like to go and visit them." Elizabeth said.

"I can go, it's not good for you to be around a newborn baby." Connor said.

"Yes well, I'm feeling fine and Kelly's coming with me, if anything happens then it's a good thing I'll be at a hospital." She added softly.

"Mom, don't joke." He begged. She sat by him in the small kitchen table.

"I'm not, I am completely serious." Connor rolled his eyes. "Do you want to come with me?"

"No, I'm good. I have… I have to do something."

Elizabeth's eyes flickered. "You are not just avoiding being home, are you? Your father said he'd arrive around 7."

"I'll be here."

* * *

"Reese?" A familiar voice called for Sarah. She'd gone for a run in the neighborhood. "Hey, what are you doing here by yourself?"

"Noah, hey." She said. "Ah, nothing, just clearing my head,"

"This early in the morning?"

"Yeah, I like the quiet." She admitted, her brain hadn't stopped racing enough for her to actually relax that morning she felt the need to get out of the house. "What are you doing out here so early?"

"Nothing, I just, hoping to catch you last night but April told me you were at Ethan's party."

"I was." She said.

"Yeah, sorry to bug you but.. um.. we have this, first part of the project due in a few days and I realized I didn't even have your number." Noah smiled shyly.

Sarah had come to find that a lot of the kids she went to school with lived nearby, but she had never seen Noah or April take the bus so she hadn't realized just how close she lived to the Sextons.

"Oh, yeah, we can work at it after school next week." She told him.

"Great, your place?"

"No." Sarah told him quickly. "How about at your house?"

Noah shot her a glance. "Oh, alright."

"Okay." Sarah smiled. "I'll see you around then Noah."

"Yeah, see you." He'd watch her take off back to her house.

Connor sighed, he'd been parked for about 5 minutes now, in about another 3 someone was bound to call the police. He got his bag out of the car and walked across the yard.

He was about to walk away when the door opened to reveal Jason. "Hey bud."

"Jason! What have I told you about the door…" A voice said behind him. There stood Sarah's mom.

"It's just Connor, Mom." Jason said, like it was the most natural thing to have Connor Rhodes standing in his front door. "He is Sarah's Mary."

"Sarah's what?" His mother inquired, eyeing the older boy.

"I go to Gaffney with Sarah, Mrs. Reese, I'm sorry, my name is Connor Rhodes." He gave her a charming smile. "I hope you don't mind me coming by on a Sunday."

"Sarah's in her room, she's not meant to have boys up there." Jason pipped in and Susan smled.

"I'm sorry Connor, come in, we'll get Sarah for you." She stepped back so he could come inside. "Just a minute…"

Jason had gone back to his business as he sat on the couch with his tablet. Connor joined him quietly.

"Sarah honey…" Susan opened the door to her child's room. Sarah was just finishing her shower. "Sarah, you have visitors."

"Visitors?"

"Yes, a boy from school." Sarah sighed, she couldn't believe Noah wouldn't have the decency to wait.

She came out of the room in her slippers and towel wrapped around her head, "Hey Noah, I…"

She froze...she'd recognize that messy black hair anywhere.

"Noah? As in Sexton?" Connor's voice perked up curiously.

"What... what are you doing here?" Sarah turned red like a tomato.

"Mary doesn't come on Sunday's, Connor, you shouldn't either." Jason put in much to Sarah's dread.

"Nah, that's okay bud, I actually just came by to bring something over." Connor said, Sarah made her way downstairs, he'd already seen her with a towel on her head, so she didn't mind taking it off.

"Bring what over?" Sarah inquired.

"You left it in my car yesterday." He held her sweater in his hand.

 _She'd totally forgotten about that._

Thankfully her mother hadn't seen it or heard him, they hadn't really had a chance to talk much about last night, not that they'd ever go into detail or anything, but she preferred not having to explain more than she had to.

"Oh, you didn't have to." Sarah blushed a little when she took it from him. "You could have given it to me at school tomorrow." She hissed taking it from him

She didn't want her Mom knowing who driven her home last night.

"Connor, can we offer you something to drink? Susan asked kindly. "I'm afraid this place is a little bit messy still…"

"No, actually.."

"He was just going." Sarah said to her mother, Susan looked at both teens.

"What's that in your bag?" Sarah heard Jason say, he'd seen something she had missed.

Connor bit his lip, turning around to face the little boy. "I was doing some cleaning of my own yesterday and…"

"Its Optimus Prime Sarah!" Jason pipped up. "Mom, it's Optimus Prime!"

"Jason, its not yours." His mother said sternly as he'd already grabbed the Transformers toy from Connor's bag.

"Actually, I need someone to look out for him, I barely have time anymore." Jason's eyes shined. "And I thought Jason could help me."

Susan looked over at Sarah. "You don't have to do that." Reese told him.

"It's no problem, if of course you are okay with it?" He asked shyly, eyeing both women.

"Connor, that is very sweet of you but…"

"But he said I could have it." Jason said.

"I know Jason, but…"

Sarah glared at Connor.

He knew he'd probably overstepped but she hadn't answered his text and then he'd found the perfect excuse to come find out himself if she was alright. If Jason was.

"Connor's my friend too." the little boy said. "I'll take of Optimus for him, I promise."

Susan sighed. "Alright, you can have the toy, now we have to go get ready to have breakfast, I want to go visit that diner you kids told me about."

"Can Connor come too?" Jason inquired, the teens and Susan eyed him.

"I'm sure Connor has to get home, it's Sunday." His mother replied.

"I'm actually heading over there, do you mind if we see each other in a bit? I have to make another stop."

"Sarah honey, go finish getting ready." Susan said softly, Sarah sighed but did as she was told, eyeing her 'buddy' as she went.

 _How dared he come and give Jason a toy? They were not some charity case._

"I'll see you later Reese?" Connor told her as she climbed up.

She didn't reply. "You'll have to excuse her, she's been having a hard time adjusting."

Connor smiled. "It's fine, I shouldn't have come anyway."

"No, I was glad you did, Sarah hasn't told me a lot about school."

"It's not really my place Mrs. Reese." Connor told her honestly. "But I have a feeling she'll have no problem at Gaffney"

"You're a junior, aren't you?"

"Yeah."

"He's Sarah's Mary..." Jason remarked again from the couch.

"What does that mean?" Susan asked confused, low enough so that only Connor could hear.

"I'm just helping Sarah settle in." Connor explained. "Anyway, I have to go."

"Of course, thank you for coming by, it's hard to put a smile on Jason but he seems to have gotten a liking to you and Sarah too, even if it's hard to believe."

* * *

"Great, that time Herrmann asks us to help out and you're late." Nat scolded him as soon as she got into the car.

Connor huffed. "I'm here, aren't I?"

"Yes, fashionably late." Nat said. "Where were you anyway?"

"Busy." He told her.

Nat shot him a look as they drove. "Oh thank goodness." Herrmann said as soon as he saw the kids. "Cindy's gonna kill me."

"Sorry, we're late." Nat smiled.

"Nah, that's alright, I just thank the heavens you're here, are you sure you'll be fine on your own?"

"We've worked here summers, haven't we?" Nat put in. "We'll be fine Hermann, go."

They watched the man dash off as he handed Nat his apron. "You kids are lifesavers."

Nat and Connor chuckled as they moved to the back to help with Molly's busiest day of the week.

"So, are you going to tell me where you were?"

"I thought you wanted to work?" Connor said rolling his eyes, just as the Reese family was coming through the door.

"C, a little help here!" Henry yelped as he took some boxes out of storage. Natalie ruffled Connor's hair as she moved past him, much to his annoyance.

"Hey, welcome to Molly's can I take your order? Oh Sarah, hey."

"Hi." Sarah said shyly.

"So, what are we having this morning?" Nat said with a smile.

"I'll have some french toast and coffee, please." Susan said kindly.

"Molly's Special, that's what Connor, Sarah and me ordered last time" Jason pipped in. Nat offered him a smile, waving off the surprise of him mentioning Connor, rather quickly.

"And he'll have some bacon and eggs to go with that." His mother told Natalie.

"Of course." The teen said. "And you Sarah? Quesadillas are pretty awesome."

Sarah ordered her food and watched as Natalie walked away.

"Maybe you could ask if they'd allow you to work here Sarah." Her mom put in as she looked into her phone.

"Natalie's older mom, she's allowed to work." She told her. Sarah watched as her mother got immersed in her texting and Jason who'd thrown a fit so that he could bring his Optimus Prime along ignored her.

She sighed, she didn't think Nat would gossip or anything but she'd told her mother they could go somewhere else because she was sure she'd run into more than a few kids from school here.

She'd insisted though, and that was an argument she'd never win.

"Here we are." Natalie came over a moment later with their order. "Enjoy." She then noticed the toy in Jason's hands.

She'd recognize it anywhere. "Call if you need anything, I'm around."

Sarah remained far too interested in her meal when Connor stopped at their table to check in with them and say hi. Even if Jason now thought that Connor Rhodes was the coolest person ever.

She didn't even get to enjoy her food all that much, she was constantly looking around, hoping not to see anyone from school, or more specifically the party last night. She didn't want anyone asking questions about her quick exit. She was just glad when they got up to leave and she could spend the rest of the day in her room, alone.

* * *

Sarah overslept for school on Monday, she had stayed up reading ahead the junior's material for her meeting with Mr. Charles, so she and her brother had practically dashed out the door.  
Jay offered her brother his usual seat by the window and Will sat next to Sarah.  
"You okay Reese?."  
"What?" Sarah mumbled distractedly. "No, I just didn't get too much sleep last night and I have this meet up with Mr. Charles."  
Will smiled softly. "Maybe if he decides you need to change up buddies, Jay could be a good option."  
"I would be, what? His brother looked back at Will. "Oh yeah, count me in."  
"I don't think he'll do that but thanks for the offer." Sarah smiled. She then saw Jason take something out his bag, her eyes widened.  
"Jason, you're meant to leave that at home, you don't' want it to get lost, do you?" She tried to shove the figure back, but everyone had already seen it.  
"Hey, that's one cool toy." Emily smiled at Jason. "Fancy too."  
"Connor gave it to me, he said I had to take care of it for him." Sarah's eyes turned to Emily as her brother spoke.  
"Oh really?" The girl perked up.  
"Huh- huh" Jason felt as if he was being watched by too many eyes and turned away back to the window.  
"So, you do really have an in with him!" Emily told Sarah. "He gives your brother toys? I wish he'd give me something…"  
Sarah sighed. "It's not like that."  
"No, that's okay, we can't all be 'buddies' with Connor Rhodes." Emily said as Jay added. "I see now why I'd be the secondhand option."  
Sarah tried to open her mouth to defend herself but the bus came into a hault and the kids started climbing down.  
She was having a bad day and it wasn't even 8 yet. Jason spotted Connor waiting by the bus, he was eager to show Optimus off to him.  
"Sarah said I shouldn't have brought it." Jason said as soon as Sarah touched the ground.  
"She's right" He smiled. "We can leave it in my car if you want, I'll give it to you right after school so the teacher doesn't see." Connor offered. Jason contemplated this for a minute.  
"Do you promise to give it back?"  
"I promise."  
Jason took the toy out and handed it to Connor, who put it inside his backpack, Sarah huffed. "Come on, I don't see Mary anywhere I have to get you to class."  
Sarah moved her brother along, Connor walked a bit behind them.  
"Everything okay?" He asked.  
"It's fine." She told him, not making eye contact.  
"You know, I've noticed that is your favorite word." Connor smiled. "But you could give me something else?"  
"Like what?" She glared at him.  
"A full sentence?"  
Sarah didn't reply, she just walked along.  
"Hey guys, sorry I was late." Mary said as soon as she spotted the kids. "Come on Jason, Sarah and Connor have to get to class."  
"Don't forget okay?" Jason turned to Connor.  
"I'll be here with Optimus as soon as you get out, I promise." Jason seemed content enough and followed Mary inside.  
Sarah then began walking back, striding ahead. "Sarah, wait up."  
"I'm late." She said.  
"Alright, listen about me coming to your house, I'm sorry I thought Jason would like the toy, he seemed to have had a really rough time…"  
"You think you know me or my brother huh? And what gives you the right to just show up at our house?"  
"I texted you and you didn't answer back," He said. "I just thought.."  
"What? That it meant you could just turn up? You might be rich but you're not entitled to everything." She glared and Connor stopped cold, but she just kept walking.

* * *

She didn't see him for the rest of the day, not even at lunch.  
"You're quieter than usual, Are you okay?" Monique asked, she was relieved that they'd all wanted to sit with her, when she arrived to the cafeteria she was pretty sure they'd avoid her but Emily went to find her.  
"I'm sorry." She told Jay as soon as he slumped onto his seat.  
"What for? You didn't do anything." He told her.  
"I didn't mean to offend you."  
"By being called a backseat to Connor Rhodes? I've been told worse." Jay grinned.  
Reese smiled back.

Her meeting with Mr. Charles had been pushed back a little as he had had a parents meeting that had run a bit late "Miss Reese?" He called her in. "Come in, how's your second week at Gaffney going?"  
"Fine, yeah fine." _Oh she did say that a lot_. "Just settling in."  
"Of course, I do hope our friend Connor is making it a little easier?"  
Sarah bit her lip. "Or maybe there is something you want to talk about?"  
"No." Sarah said quickly.  
"Well only a few more days left, I've seen great progress on the both of you and from what I can tell you'll fit right in Sarah."

* * *

Connor made it back to his car after school, he wanted to make sure he got the toy to Jason in time.  
"What are you doing?" A voice perked up behind him  
Geez! Stalker much?" Connor hissed.  
"Sorry, who ate your cookies?" Natalie joked but Connor wasn't kidding. "What?"  
"Nothing." He took out the toy from the backseat. "Can you wait? I have to…"  
"Give it back to Sarah's brother?" He brought it to Molly's Sunday and I figured out the rest, why do you have it now?"  
"He brought it to school and I didn't want him to get in trouble."  
"I'll come with you."  
"I'd rather you didn't." Connor told her as he began walking.  
"Sorry, as your best friend and the person who had to find out why you were late Sunday from Henry, I'm entitled."  
 _He'd kill his sloppy mouth friend._  
They walked over to Jason's building. He was there by the door with Mary, Sarah was nowhere to be found.  
"Here you go buddy, safe and sound, I think you should keep it at home from now, okay?" Connor told him kindly.  
"Jason, what do you say?" Mary encouraged him.  
"Thank you." He turned to look at Nat. "You took our order."  
"Yeah, that's me. I'm Natalie, I'm Connor and your sister's friend." The teen smiled.  
Jason shrugged.  
"You want me to start walking you to the bus buddy?" Connor offered.  
"We better wait for Sarah." Mary replied. "But thank you."  
"Right, I'll see you tomorrow then."  
"So, you went to Reese's house to give him the toy? Why?" Natalie asked as they walked back.  
"Do I need a reason?" He said. "I like the kid, is that a crime?"  
"Or maybe you like Sarah…" Natalie said. "And you want to be friends with her little brother, I get it."  
Connor huffed. "She's pissed because I showed up at her house." Natalie had heard from Henry that he'd brought her sweater over and the toy to Jason.  
"Maybe she's not used to have people do nice things for her and she freaked? It's a pretty human reaction."  
Connor sighed as he unlocked the car and they got in. "The point is, she thinks I feel sorry for her or something which I don't.

He had never seen his father like this, he'd come home that afternoon to find him in his study, he'd been there less than 24 hours, but the bizarre thing was that he hadn't yelled at him once or told him what kind of disappointment he was

"Connor?" He kicked on his heels. "Come here a moment."

Connor bit his inner cheek. "I'll be going to California for two weeks so I want to do something, all of us as a family."  
 _Since when were they a family?_ "I was thinking we could go to that restaurant your mother loves so much."  
"She'll like that." He told him. "When are you leaving?"  
"Tomorrow night." Cornelius didn't look at him. "Meet us right after school?"  
"Okay." He told him cheekily.  
"Oh and tell your sister."  
Connor moved away, trying to shake the odd feeling that something wasn't right.

"So, what did he say?" Henry asked as he met him and Nat at Molly's later. Hermann was still on daddy duty so he'd put Henry in charge for a few more days,  
"Nothing, that's the thing, he was.. normal he didn't even touched on the subject of just what kind of a disgrace I am."  
Nat looked at the other two. "That's weird, do you think he was brainwashed?"  
"It's not a joke." Connor told her dryly.  
"No, I'm not joking." She said.  
"Maybe he had a good business week?" Henry suggested. They saw people gathering around the counter. "Unlike my dad if we keep standing here."  
The other two sighed. "So, what do you think it's really going on?"  
"I don't know, but it won't last him, it never does."

* * *

Sarah had arranged with Mr Charles to start a new junior class in math for the week to see how she could juggle it. She was happy to have more of a challenge in her academic work but it was just another thing to worry about.  
As it meant that being with the juniors meant she would have to see her buddy more often, she was already having a hard time avoiding him.  
Which proved to be even harder as Connor was at her locker the next morning, Sarah very nearly turned on the spot and fled.  
"Hey, so I heard in my meeting with Mr Charles that you're taking up junior math huh?"  
"So?" She asked, opening the locker in her face.  
She heard him chuckle to himself before walking around to her other side, "He just mentioned it because you're going to be in my class, he thought I could pass you along notes and things that you've missed." He produced a bound folder from behind his back and handed it to her. "Not that you really need it." He smiled.  
"Oh." She took it, "Thanks, I guess."  
He sighed, "Look, Sarah, I'm sorry about…"  
"Just forget it. You only have to stick around me for another week and then you'll be relieved of your duties. You don't need to lead my brother on anymore okay?" She slammed the locker a little too hard.  
He just held her gaze and nodded his head so slightly she nearly missed it before turning and walking away.  
She didn't need his pity. She didn't need his nosiness into her home life. She didn't need him.  
She had her own friends now.  
But as she walked to class, it didn't mean that she didn't want to turn back and look at him or something.

She somehow made it through the day without bumping into her buddy and made her way to her locker after her last class and instead of finding Connor she found Noah Sexton.  
"Oh Noah, eh, hi. Our assignment right?"  
"Hey Sarah, yeah you up for it this evening right? My house. My parents are out until late." He smirked.  
"Right." Sarah deadpanned. "Well actually I have to get my brother home first…"  
"It's cool, whatever, we can just get off at my stop, your brother will be fine. You coming or what?" He was halfway down the hallway by the time Sarah had packed her bag.  
She huffed, what was it with guys and making assumptions about her and her family?  
"I'll meet you at the bus Noah." She told him as she slid out a side door and across the shortcut she had found to Jason's building...  
She made her way with him over to the bus where Noah was loitering around. Connor was nowhere to be found for the second day in a row, not that she missed him or needed him or...  
"Hey Sarah." He nodded, looking her up and down.  
Jason tugged on her hand, "Who's that?"  
"I'm Noah. Me and your sister are tight." He said, hitting Jason on the shoulder.  
Jason gasped before hiding behind Sarah. "I don't like him. I don't like him. I don't like him."  
"Don't you dare touch my brother again." She shot at Noah before turning to the little boy to try and calm him down.  
"Hey, everything okay?" Ethan asked as he walked up to the bus.  
Sarah just shot a glare at Noah. "We will be."  
"Man, stop standing there gawking, get on the bus and leave them alone." He said, pulling Noah along with him.  
She made a mental note to thank Ethan later on, "It's okay, Noah was just trying to joke. You're okay." Jason seemed happy enough with her attempts to explain and got on the bus with the condition that he could sit beside Jay and Will would tell him another one of his bad jokes.  
She sat while Noah got off at his stop and he had the good sense not to ask her to come with him while April practically pulled him off with her.  
Sarah wondered if something had happened to make the Sexton siblings start taking the bus, for all she knew April had a car and it was the only time of the day she didn't have to deal with Noah or it had been.  
She got home to find her Mom there, which was a nice surprise but didn't last for long, she got them dinner but when she started changing her clothes Sarah knew she wasn't staying.  
"Honey, it's a work dinner, I have to show my face, you can get your brother to bed right? Thanks Sweetheart." Her Mom got ready in record time, gave her two kids a kiss on the cheek and left in the time it took Noah to send her ten messages.

 _Hey so I got your number from Emily and how about you coming over now?  
Sarah, what's up? You coming over or what?  
Yo Reese c'mon, stop trying to play hard to get, we need this grade.  
_After reading the first three, she stopped picking up her cell.

* * *

Dinner had put a smile on his Mom's face, but his father's good mood put Connor on edge.  
The man was even whistling by the time they got out the restaurant and he was meant to leave for the airport.  
And while it was cynical to think that his father could be pulling away from the Dark Side as Nat liked to joke, Connor had had enough experience to know that if his father was in a good mood, it spelled bad news for someone.  
He just hoped that someone wasn't his mother, still he found it amusing, playing happy family when he couldn't even remember the last time the four of them had been together and more so, sitting around a table in his Mom's favorite restaurant that was Rhodes appropriate, with both his parents and Claire.  
They apparently were ignoring the fact that his Mom was sick, the fact that Claire was always as distant as their father recently and that his Dad was leaving again.  
"So how's school going Connor?" His father asked.  
Connor cleared his throat, trying to come up with a response that would keep the happy mood going. "Good, my grades are up."  
"No more fights? Your mother and I had to pull a lot of strings to get Lakeshore to transfer you and not expel you." Connor glanced over at his mother who smiled. "I hope that's over now though, I am leaving a man behind to take care of everything, not a child who cannot control his temper." He heard Claire giggle under her breath.  
Connor curled his hand into a fist, it had been over a year ago and he had not heard the end of his one mistake. It wasn't that he had gotten in that much trouble, Claire had done enough of that, the drink driving, the partying, it was because his misdemeanor had become public knowledge. Everything was fine once things were swept under the carpet like with Claire, money had made all their problems disappear but with Connor and the fact that it had the potential to sully the Rhodes name, well that just wasn't good enough.  
He shared a look with his Mom who shook her head slightly, so she hadn't mentioned his fight with Will.  
"Nope."  
"Good. We'll have to start looking around for colleges this summer huh? Of course you'll be going to my alma mater but we have to make it look like you are considering other options, make them want you even more."  
"Uh huh." Connor nodded along. His life was already planned for him  
"Connor was trusted by the guidance counsellor to help another student settle in, isn't that great?" His Mom beamed.  
"Sure, it'll look good on his college applications." His father nodded.  
"It's always good to help others." His Mom patted Connor's hand. "And good to make new friends."  
"Just be sure you make the _right_ friends." His Dad chipped in, "How is Ava Bekker doing now? Your mother tells me she transferred to Gaffney, I don't really understand why she would, other than trying to get your attention which would mean good connections for this family. I do make big donations to the hospital her father works at."  
Connor sighed, by right friends, his Dad meant rich and well connected And by getting his attention, he was practically telling him to suck up to Ava.  
"She's fine."  
"You should have her over after school sometimes, it's good to show her we care, her father is very influential…" His Dad went on and on but Connor had become an expert at zoning him out.

The next afternoon came and Connor was alone, Nat was studying with April that evening and Henry was busy at the diner which left Connor with no one to call or nothing to do. He lay on his bed, scrolling through his phone and came across Sarah's number. His thumb hovered over the call button.

He hadn't meant to somehow insult her.

He was just trying to help. She had a lot on her plate and Jason was a special kid, plus she was different than other girls, she didn't fall at his feet or agree with everything he said because he was Connor Rhodes. She wasn't impressed by his fighting, she was smart and she had the same lost look in her eye that he recognized from looking in the mirror.  
He had been worried about her, so he had come to her house. He thought it would be fine, he thought they were friends.  
And he thought it would be good to put a smile on her little brother's face and if he was being honest, he wouldn't mind another friend. All he really had was Nat and Henry.

But apparently Sarah didn't think they were anything more than an assignment ordered off by their guidance counsellor. And if he had had any chance of getting on her good graces, he'd definitely had screwed that up, like most things in his life, apparently.  
Throwing his phone aside he looked up at the ceiling and thought of just how much he missed making Reese smile instead of having her bolt at the sight of him. He had to come up with something to make it up to her.

* * *

 **Sooo. Rheese is at odds right now! What did you think? Please let us know in a review, we'll see you soon and thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

**_Holding On_ **

**Chapter Seven.**

Sarah was making her way to her locker, having dodged Noah for at least the time being when she saw Connor leaning beside it.  
 _Was he ever going to give up?_ But she couldn't meet him like this though, she panicked. She had barely tied her hair back that morning, it had been a bad night with Jason, her Mom hadn't gotten back to tuck him in and hell broke loose, it was clear she needed to splash her face with water to try and wake herself up.  
She ducked into the bathroom to her right before he could see her and she nearly bumped into Natalie Manning coming out of a stall looking worse than she did. The older girl was pale and looked shaky on her feet.  
"Hi Natalie, are you okay?" Sarah asked.  
"Oh, hi Sarah." Natalie said as she put a hand on her forehead and leaned against a sink. "Yeah, I just feel really sick, it's probably just a bug going around."  
"Once you're sure, do you want me to get anyone? I can bring you to the nurse's office?"  
"Thank you, but I'll be fine." Natalie smiled and the color was already returning to her cheeks.  
"Okay." Sarah agreed warily before splashing her face with water and trying to fix her hair.  
Natalie was watching her, "Are you hiding from someone?" She asked with a small smile.  
"Is it that obvious?" Sarah asked.  
"You want to talk about it?" Natalie offered kindly.  
Sarah couldn't meet her eyes, after all Connor was her best friend. "No it's fine."  
Natalie put her hands on her hips, "So... how are things with Connor? Is he being at all helpful? Because if he isn't, you tell me and I'll have a serious talk with him, he's meant to help you, it's not easy to juggle everything in the first few weeks."  
"Thanks Natalie. I mean he's fine, he's been helpful…"  
"But…?"  
Sarah bit her lip. "But, it's just, he's getting too involved with my little brother and he doesn't need to be let down, he's been let down too much already…" _Why was she admitting this to Connor's best friend?  
_ Natalie smiled softly at her. "I see, listen I'm sure he didn't mean to make you upset or cause trouble for your brother…"  
"Right, well he did, I know he's your best friend and all but the truth is, we don't all have a perfect life." Sarah said. "And he shouldn't try and make other's harder."  
Natalie's demeanor changed making Sarah step back a little bit. "Is that what you really think of him?"  
Reese froze but Natalie was again green and turned back to the stall she'd come out of "Natalie?"  
The older girl came back out again, cleaning her face. "Actually, I'll take you up on that offer to see the nurse."  
Sarah blinked, "Sure."  
When they came out, Connor was nowhere to be found as classes had begun already.  
"I'll talk to Connor for you, make sure he keeps his buddy duties to the minimum okay? Will that make you feel more comfortable?"  
"I guess" Sarah said as they'd reached the nurse. She really didn't want to upset Natalie further.

* * *

Connor made it back to Sarah's locker after his class, he hadn't seen Nat come in and she wasn't answering his texts. "Hey Henry?"  
"What's up?"  
"Does Nat seem okay to you?" Henry shrugged.  
"I guess so, why?"  
Then he saw both girls making their way back. "Never mind." Henry followed Connor as curiosity got the best of him.  
"You missed Mrs. Dawson's surprise quiz " Connor told Natalie, he could see she was pale. "Everything okay?" he asked worriedly.  
"Depends who you ask." Natalie said. "I don't think you should be around me much, I might be coming down with something."  
Connor nodded as Sarah glanced between the three friends as Henry looked equally concerned, Sarah figured it was because Henry had a newborn sister and it was risky for a baby that young to get sick. "You want me to drive you home?"  
"No, that's okay, my mom is coming to get me. You should all go to class." Connor glanced at her.  
"Come on, we'll walk you outside." Henry said.  
Sarah glanced over at Nat. "Thank you for coming with me."  
"Of course."  
"You really don't want to be late Sarah…" Connor told her.  
"Right…"  
Henry offered her a kind smile as both boys went ahead with Natalie, leaving Reese behind.  
By the time she made it out of her next class, it was almost lunch.  
She made it to the cafeteria with Jay and the others. she still had not seen Connor or Henry anywhere.  
"Sarah" she almost came face to face with Noah. "You ditched me yesterday."  
She bit her lip. "Yeah, sorry something came up."  
Noah eyed her curiously. "You sure you're not just avoiding me? We do really have to get a good grade on that project it counts for half the grade."  
"Lost something Sexton?" Jay appeared by Sarah's side.  
"Nope, just chatting with Sarah here about our project."  
"Can we talk about it later?" Sarah told Noah, hoping if she was with Jay he would leave her alone.  
"Ah, sure, I'll text you?"  
He walked away. "I'm sorry you got stuck with him as your partner." Jay said as they walked back to their table.  
"Comes with the job of being the newbie, I don't mind."  
Jay smiled. "You just say the word and I will get him off your back. I can talk to Mrs. Dawson. She and my dad are old pals." Sarah sighed. She didn't want to start calling in small favors.  
"No, thanks. That's ok." Sarah said getting back to her food. There was a bit of small talk not that she was paying attention.  
Then she saw Connor and Henry making their way into the cafeteria but they didn't even look at her. Honestly, Sarah hoped she could avoid him for a few more hours, at least until they had math together.  
She got to Mr. Downey's class early so she could stay in the back as it was probably just easy to blend with the juniors.  
Ethan Choi sat beside her. "Hey Sarah."  
"Oh hi."  
"You're taking this class?"  
"Just for a trail run, Mr. Charles said it would be good for my GPA."  
"Oh well, let me know if I can help." He smiled.  
"Ethan, I just wanted to thank you for helping me out with Jason, he…"  
"No need to explain Sarah, I get it." Ethan said softly. "Noah means no harm but he's a little intense." He lowered his voice as April came in with other kids behind her.  
Still no Connor. Her eyes rose up as Henry came in, and a moment later she found those blue eyes and messy black hair.  
"Settle in everyone." Called Mr. Downey, eyeing Connor as he went. "Miss Reese, I do hope we don't bore you too much."  
There were whispers around her but Sarah just brushed them off.  
Connor couldn't focus, between being worried for Nat and being given the cold wall by Sarah, he was too distracted, but he would watch Reese from time to time from the corner of his eye.  
"Staring much?" Hissed Henry.  
"Shut up." Connor turned away.  
"You still coming later right? I'm down a pair of hands."  
Connor sighed. "Sure."  
"Is she really skipping a grade?" Henry inquired.  
"No, she's just taking a few courses."  
"I do hope your conversation is more important than what we have to review." Downey called on the boys.  
Henry froze. "Sorry."  
Sarah looked over at Connor. _Why did she feel like she had to? Those eyes were so distracting.  
_ Thankfully, she survived the rest of class and made it over to the last class.  
"Sarah?" Noah Sexton gazed at her. "So when will we do our work?"  
"How about we meet after school and split it up? That way we won't delay it so much."  
"Ah, sure, how about Molly's? I'll meet you there."Sarah sighed. "Fine. Sounds good."

* * *

"Nat?" Natalie opened the door for her friend. "You okay? You sounded awful on the phone."  
"Define okay." Nat said. "Did you bring the.."  
"Yeah, my mom has a few left from the clinic." April took her bag off as the girls climbed up the stairs.  
The Mannings were very big on sports so the family was probably at one of Nate's games. "You were left on babysitting duty?"  
"Just Josh, he's sleeping."  
Nat left the door half open so she could listen for her brother. "You sure you want to do this?" April asked worriedly."Have you thought about…"  
"No, this is all I can deal with right now."  
"And Jeff?" Natalie grimaced. "Right, sorry one thing at a time."  
She couldn't believe this was happening, Natalie never imagined this would be her, taking a pregnancy test in her bathroom with April holding her hand.  
Her parents had been very clear with her early on and she even rolled her eyes at them as they had just brought a baby home less than a year ago.  
"How much longer?" Nat asked.  
"A minute or so…" April smiled softly. She and April had never been as close as she had been with Connor or Henry but she couldn't possibly ask them to help, they'd both would murder Jeff the minute they found out.  
Specially Connor, Nat laughed grimly as she thought of just how terrified she was for her parents to find out, but she was somehow preparing herself more for how Connor would react.  
April's phone beeped and Natalie felt sick once more as both girls stared at the two lines.  
Natalie Manning was just 16 and pregnant.

* * *

Connor made it to Molly's late. It was clear Henry was way over his head.  
"Thanks for showing up." Henry sighed.  
"Sorry man, I'm here, alright?"  
"Could you just take care of the tables over there?" Henry's tone softened.  
Connor smiled as he grabbed a pad and pen.  
"What, are you suddenly poor or something Rhodes?" A voice snarled at him.  
"Are you eating or just projecting?" Connor told Jeff off.  
He chuckled. "Yeah, you know what I'll be having?"  
Connor looked up. "You're easy sleazy friend oh wait...I already did."  
Connor's blood boiled at the smirk on his face.  
"Here, I'll take over." Henry offered as Connor was about to bounce towards him.  
"Aww, poor little boy, he can't fight his battles, you're pathetic."  
"Connor…" he felt Henry's hand on his shoulder. "Let it go man, he's not worth it."  
Connor closed his eyes and walked away, He wasn't going to cost Hermann a busy night.  
Then his gaze met Sarah's. Sitting with Noah Sexton. Which made him feel uneasy, she had been spending a lot of time with him.  
"You guys okay?" He said coming up to the table.  
"Yeah, we good man." Noah said. Sarah looked over at Connor and nodded.  
"Alright." He smiled at the both of them.  
Sarah watched as he walked away and she felt worse than she had this morning. She tried to focus on work for a little while but she couldn't.  
"Sarah?"  
"Sorry, I should go." She told Noah. "We can look at our notes tomorrow? I think we almost have it anyway."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yeah, positive." She assured him.  
She picked her notes up and shoved everything into her bag. leaving a few bucks for her meal and moving to the counter to ask Henry for Jason's order.  
"Almost have it, give me a sec." He smiled. "Sorry, busy night." Sarah offered him a knowing look. She leaned against the counter as she watched the waiters and customers moving around.  
The funny thing was, it had been a little while since she'd seen Connor. She just figured he was in the back.  
Then a loud crash came from the wall behind the kitchen. Henry moved to yell at someone as he headed outside. A few other kids followed.  
Sarah had a bad feeling about this.  
She headed outside, against her better judgement and to her horror she saw Henry trying to pull Connor off Jeff as other kids tried to pull the other older boys away.  
"Like I said, pathetic." Jeff spat at Connor. "Just like your friend."  
"What is going on here?" Came a voice from behind Sarah. Hermann stood there. "You! Out of here." He told Jeff and his friends.  
"I never liked this dump anyway." Jeff said walking away.  
Hermann then turned to the other kids, "Show's over, get back inside."  
But Sarah didn't move. She watched as Henry helped Connor to his feet.  
"Sarah sweetheart, let's go." Herman called for her. It was the first time Connor had even realized she was there.  
He glanced over at her… ashamed? Wincing as Henry helped him inside and Sarah followed.  
"Sit." Hermann commanded. The place was still busy but Herman had led Henry, Sarah and Connor to the back room. "What were you thinking huh?"  
Henry glanced at his friend. "This isn't like you, where is that sweet kid that used to steal cookies from my counter and then put money on the register the next day?"  
"He was insulting Nat." Connor said as Herman came back with the first aid kit and began cleaning on Connor's eyebrow. "And he's a jerk."  
"There's no denying that." Hermann agreed. "But that is no way to fix things pal, you know better."  
"I'm sorry Dad…" Henry began. "I should have done something. I put Connor in charge of those tables." Connor offered his friend an apologetic glance. "I'm sorry..."  
"You alright Sarah?" Hermann asked, after nodding at Connor, Sarah seemed to have held her breath for the longest time.  
"I' am."  
"Good, go take that apron off, you'll be driving Sarah home." The older man told his son.  
"No, there's no need." Sarah began.  
"Not up for discussion kiddo."Hermann told her kindly. "Go" Henry did as he was told and Sarah followed him to the parking lot, Jason's dinner in hand.  
Henry opened the door for her. It was clear this was Hermann's car, it smelled of baby powder and had toys scattered all over the backseat along with a couple car seats.  
"Sorry about the mess." Henry said shyly. "There's a lot of us,"  
He drove in silence for a little while. "So how did you like Mr. Downey's class? Are you thinking of sticking around with us juniors?"  
"I haven't made up my mind yet." Sarah admitted.  
Henry nodded and focused back on driving. "Connor's not usually like that you know?" Despite of what you might have seen, twice, he just cares too much about people that's all."  
"Or he just likes to get in trouble, maybe he wants attention?"  
Henry sighed . "Not Connor."  
"I hardly doubt it, I'm sure he likes to believe the world revolves around him."  
"Is this about your brother?" Henry asked as Sarah tensed up. "I'm the oldest so I get it Sarah, you wouldn't want anyone hurting Jason." Reese bit her lip. "But Connor, he wasn't trying to cause you any harm, he genuinely likes you two, I can tell you that."  
"He doesn't even know us," Sarah told Henry.  
"No, but he wants to, that has to count for something, right?" He gave her a half smile. "And believe it or not, he might not know you enough, but he understands you better than you think."  
They'd reached her house, "I hope Jason likes his dinner, and sorry again about tonight"  
"Ah, thanks.." Sarah closed the car door and walked over to Jason who was waiting with Mary who was thankful to go home to her kids as Sarah made it to the kitchen and Jason who already sat at the table examined his dinner.  
"You have to take a few bites." Sarah said, Jason did as he was told slowly, not really focusing on dinner as he held Optimus up. "Doesn't Connor like us anymore?"  
Sarah blinked at Jason's question, it was blunt just like always but Sarah could see Jason seemed upset. "Was it because I took Optimus to school?"  
"Jason... "  
"Mary wouldn't have stopped waiting for us at the bus." Jason told her. "Why has he?"  
 _Because of me, Sarah thought_. "I like Connor."  
"I know." Sarah said, grabbing a glass of milk for him "But he, he can't be my Mary much longer, he's going to be helping someone else now."  
"Why? Were you bad?" Her little brother was completely serious. "Was I?"  
"No you didn't do anything buddy I promise, it's just…"  
Sarah didn't know what to say, she was the one who'd told Connor to stay away and keep his distance but now Jason was taking it badly.  
That night after she put her brother to bed, Sarah thought of just how much this had seemed to have backfired.  
Jason had seemed to be adapting well to Gaffney despite the obvious reasons and her classmates had made that happen, her friends and Connor and she had been the reason he wasn't around anymore which might cause for harm than good for her little brother.

She fidgeted with her phone as she laid in bed.  
She wouldn't admit it to herself but she was worried about Connor and she couldn't stop thinking about his friend's words, what exactly had Henry meant implying that he understood her?

* * *

"Is she sleeping?" Connor asked Katie as she opened the door for him, the older woman smiled softly, but he could see disappointment and worry in her eyes.  
"She is." Katie told him. "What happened?"  
"Jeff Morgan." Connor said simply.  
"I hope you can do a better job than me cleaning that up." Hermann told Katie, glancing at the boy's face. "I'll see what I can do, thank you for driving him over."  
"Yeah, pick up your car tomorrow will ya kiddo?"  
Connor nodded. "I'm sorry about it all Hermann."  
The man smiled kindly. "A few extra shifts at the diner will do." Hermann offered Connor his hand. "Stay out of trouble."  
If only he could, it seemed to follow him everywhere.

Monday morning came far too early for Connor's liking. But the weekend had been too quiet.

His Dad had finally left, and even if Connor thought his parents weren't matched well at all, he could see in his mother's eyes that she missed her husband. Between that and the fact that Claire left the house on Friday evening for a friend's party and didn't bother returning all weekend except to change clothes and repack her back for college on Monday, Connor was kind of happy to get away from the women in his family.

That just left him with his friends, but he couldn't get hold of Natalie all weekend, even when his Mom rang her parents, they said she was at April's.

Which was why Connor knew that something was wrong. She may be friendly with April Sexton but they certainly didn't do sleepovers. He could only hope that it wasn't an excuse Nat had given her parents to go and see Jeff.

Fortunately working extra shifts at Molly's kept him occupied and away from tracking down Jeff and giving him another few hits. His blood boiled just thinking about Nat's supposed boyfriend.

"You alright man?" Henry asked as they walked into school Monday morning.

"Yeah." He shrugged, as he pulled his hat further down on his head to try and hide the bruising on his face. He supposed he should be happy about it, added to his leather jacket they gave him some serious street cred and reputation to have girls like Emily Choi fawning over hi, which she had a moment earlier.

"Uh huh." Henry scoffed.

"I have my last meeting with Mr Charles and Sarah this morning…"

Henry smiled slightly, "Are you not happy about being released from your duties?"

"Yeah totally." He just wished he was a better liar, but he'd known Henry forever and his friend didn't buy it.

"Alright, see you later, try not to get into any more trouble." Henry hit him on the shoulder and disappeared into the crowd while Connor walked on alone to Mr Charles' office.

Sarah was sitting outside already. With her big brown doe eyes looking at him as he walked over and sat down beside her.

 _Silence._

He didn't even know how to go about talking to her anymore. Everything had taken such a turn. At first, it had been going so well, he was actually earning the trust of someone who didn't know about his past or his family, someone was starting to like him for him. Not just because he was _Connor Rhodes_.

Then he overstepped his mark and instead of finding a way to make it better he had missed her in school and then showed her his temper in his fight with Jeff.

How the hell was he supposed to earn someone's trust and friendship, like Mr Charles had told him he could, when all he did was screw it all up and prove that he was exactly what his father had told him was.

An incompetent, hot tempered, spineless teenager who couldn't even get through four years of education in one school. He was nothing but trouble with a trust fund, and undeserving of the Rhodes name too.

"Ah, you're both here, why don't you come on in." Mr Charles asked from the doorway of his office.

Connor let Sarah lead the way and took a seat.

"So…" Mr Charles smiled as he rearranged papers on his desk. "Would either of you like to comment on how the buddy system has worked?"

Sarah shifted in her seat and Connor tried to glare a hole in the desk in front of him.

"Huh." The man changed tack when he got no response. "Sarah, why don't you tell us how you're settling in?"

"I'm settling in okay, thanks." She said.

"…Well I'm glad to hear that Ms Reese. Mr Rhodes, how have you found this experience?"

"Fine." He said, throwing Sarah's signature response into the conversation.

Mr Charles nodded calmly, and glanced between the two of them as if he had all day to listen to the stifled silence.

He shouldn't have favourites. But Daniel Charles had taken one look at both their profiles and history and knew that he had become far too interested in both parties.

He just wondered where he had gone wrong.

Because this was not the outcome he had been expecting.

In front of him, Connor and Sarah sat as if they were being forced there against their will and wouldn't so much as glance at the other.

It had been a last minute decision on his part, to put them both together. Connor and his ongoing bitterness with Will Halstead had come into his office the same day as Sarah had.

Here was a boy with a distant father, a sick mother and too much pressure on his shoulders and a girl who doubted her own abilities and devoted her time to her little brother.

They both distrusted people, that much had been blatantly obvious on his first meeting with each of them, and he had thought giving them somebody outside their own social circle with similar experiences might help them learn that they could trust others.

But maybe not.

"Is there any instance that you can recall that the buddy system came into particular help with?" He prompted and watched as Sarah sank lower in her seat.

"Eh…" Connor cleared his throat and looked like the silence was driving him mad, "Does buying her lunch count?"

Daniel watched as Sarah stiffened, "Yeah well I wouldn't say throwing you money around is what Mr. Charles means."

"Well someone has to answer the questions." He retaliated.

"You're not my buddy anymore, you don't have to answer for me Connor."

"Alright." Daniel called, interrupting the impending argument. "Is there anything you would like to tell me about why there seems to be some ah, tension, between the two of you?"

 _Silence_.

He thanked years of counseling teenagers for giving him the patience not to sigh at their stubbornness.

"Okay, Sarah how are you finding your new math class?"

"I'd actually rather talk to you about that in private." Sarah admitted.

"Why? Is there something wrong? Is someone giving you a hard time?" Connor seemed to jump in full of worry. Mr. Charles waited for that glint of hope, as he watched the boy's reaction.

"No, I'm _fine_." Sarah gritted out. "And why would you care? I can take care of myself."

 _So much for hope._

Connor huffed in reply.

 _Teenagers_.

Daniel cleaned his glasses while the silence became stifling and considered the fact that he was going to get nowhere with neither of them today, he would need to meet with them separately.

They were both too stubborn to crack under the pressure , "Well if neither of you have anything else to contribute right now..." They both looked at him with eyes longing to be free. "Connor, you are hereby relieved of your duties of ensuring Sarah settles in okay. I would however like to meet you two separately at a later date." The kids began to stand up. "One more thing, I would hope that the two of you could build on the relationship that you have developed between you and stay in touch, we find the candidates in our buddy system often remain friends…"

"Can we go?" Connor cut in.

"Eh, yeah, I don't want to miss anymore of class." Sarah added.

 _So now they talk,_ Daniel was tempted to roll his eyes.

"Of course, you're dismissed, have a good day."

* * *

 _A good day?_

Sarah almost laughed to herself as she got out of the guidance counsellor's office, brushing past Connor who'd walked ahead of her with not even a look back.

Maybe it was a low blow she gave him, about his money, after everything Henry had told her but they weren't talking and after a sleepless weekend, she decided that that was for the best.

She was better off cutting ties with him completely, those were already severed and she'd ensure avoiding getting hurt again. _What happened if she opened up to him? Let him into her life? Became hopeful about having an actual friend not just friendly acquaintances?_

She knew what would happen _. She would get hurt._

Jason might be upset about Connor now, but she'd give it a few weeks for brother to forget Connor existed and it would be for the best.

She needed to finish sophomore year not give all her attention to a blue eyed bad boy junior.

"Hey Sarah!" Sarah had made it through two classes before Noah caught up to her. He hadn't stopped texting her all weekend.

"Yeah Noah?"

"So I finished my part of the assignment, I sent you the answer that I've done, so you just have to send your question and we're done. So are you doing anything this weekend?" She nearly got whiplash from the change in conversation topic.

 _Noah had actually finished his piece already?_ She was impressed. She had wanted to take the question he had done but he had made up his mind after she explained it to him so he had done the first one and she was left to do the second question. She figured it was better to just split the workload, it meant as little interaction as possible.

"I don't know yet."

"Well I'm free." He smirked.

"Good for you. I have to get to class." She managed to duck around him as the bell sounded and she rushed to the refuge that was junior level math. Numbers she could understand far better than people.

But as she walked, her hope began to crumble as she was reminded that Connor would be there.

"Ms Reese?" Mrs Dawson called for Sarah to stay behind in class the next week and Sarah did everything not to drop her shoulders and sigh. It had been a long week. She had managed to avoid Noah, but her Mom was talking about her getting a job to work on her self confidence, plus Jason was becoming more desperate in relation to the entire Connor situation.

It didn't help that while she liked the challenge of junior classes, she was slightly out of her depth and had a headache to pay for it.

And well, she had to see her former buddy on top of it all.

"Yes?"

"I wanted to talk to you about the assignment that you and Noah handed up to me."

"Okay." Sarah had just been happy that it had been handed up on time.

"How did you two go about it?"

Sarah explained how after explaining it all, they had decided to split the workload. Now she wondered if she was in trouble for it.

"Uh huh. You didn't proofread Noah's part then?"

"No." She hadn't had the time, Jason had been upset. "I just assumed he had completed it, and printed it out and attached it to mine. Why?"

Mrs Dawson sighed, "I know that this was supposed to be a group assignment, one to encourage teamwork…"

"I'm sorry I split the work, it was just easier…"

"No it's not that, it's just…" She paused, taking out papers with Noah's name at the top. "Noah wouldn't have known this methodology. I would say that he researched it, but that's exactly the problem."

"I…"Sarah blinked as she read over Noah's work. "I explained that to him, I took a higher class back home and it was touched on and I told Noah about it, not that we can use it for sophomore work, it was just as a reference I swear."

"The problem is that he copied the rest of his work word for word off Wikipedia."

"So he copied my work, plagiarised the rest and thought no one would notice?"

"And I'm afraid that seeing as it was a group assignment that I'm going to have to mark you both down on this. Sarah, you're new here and your work is excellent, so I can work some extra credit out for you, I just wanted you to be aware of the situation before I hand out the results tomorrow, but Sarah…"

"Yeah?"

"While I'm doing this for you so you don't become too affected, I do hope you understand that is very important for you to work with other people, it will help you later in life, trust me." The woman smiled kindly as Sarah thanked her for the chance and managed to nod dumbly as she left the classroom.

Her headache raged even more, she curled her hands into fists, after the week she had had she did not need this. She found Noah pretty quickly, standing by his locker chatting with Emily.

"Sarah, hi." He nodded with his trademark smirk that she wanted to wipe right off his face.

"What the hell Noah?" She demanded, "How the hell could you copy my work and then not put _any_ effort into the rest of the assignment. You told me you had it done and that we'd get a good grade. Seriously?" She all but shrieked. School was the one thing she was good at, she wasn't having someone take that away.

"Hey, I got that assignment done."

"Yeah, done wrong!"

"Hey, what's going on?" April asked as she approached them.

"Your brother is a cheat and now we've practically failed our assignment."

"Hold on, you can't just throw accusations like that around."

"It's the truth, do you know how much work I'll have to do to make up for this?" She shot at Noah.

"Hey, why don't you calm down. Noah wouldn't do that, right?" April turned to her brother.

"So I didn't reference everything, I sent it to you to check it. It was a group assignment we were supposed to work together and you always bailed." Noah said.

"Bailed?"

"Well yeah. You wouldn't even come over to work on it, you just split the work. Made it easier? Doesn't seem as if you cared as much."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Well why didn't you check it then?" April asked and Sarah faltered, feeling the eyes of a small crowd around her. Drama always drew a crowd.

"I assumed that he would do it right. I'm not his babysitter."

"Yeah well I'd assume that you'd work together on a group project and it doesn't sound like you did." Noah had the audacity to smirk as his sister spoke.

"Hey, everything okay April?" Connor was at his locker down the row.

"Not everything is your business Rhodes." She snapped.

Connor laughed humorlessly, holding his hands up in defense. "Okay April, why don't you let Noah fight his own battles huh? And tell your new best friend Natalie that I need to talk to her, yeah?"

Sarah sent the nastiest glare she could muster at Noah.

This was more that she could handle right now, her phone beeped, letting her know she had to go get Jason.

She turned on her heels and sped to her locker to collect her belongings.

"Hey, Sarah?"

She hated that she knew his voice without even seeing him.

"What Connor?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm…"

"Yeah, yeah, you're fine, I got that." He said as he leaned beside her locker. "Will you be able to make up for Noah's idiocy?"

She nodded, "But it's more work I didn't need."

"How are you, really?" There was a note of genuine worry as he spoke, but she couldn't let the voice in her head that had told her that maybe there was more to him than an assignment come into play right now.

She had to be reasonable. "Why? Did Mr Charles send you?"

"No. I just wanted to know, is that a crime?" It nearly was, the way his tone and eyes squeezed at her heart.

"It's been a crappy week, that is all."

"Tell me about it." He smiled sadly. "Hey, I'm working at Molly's later if you and Jason want a Molly's Special Milkshake, maybe you could come by?"

She bit her lip, "I've lots of homework to do…"

He nodded, "Okay, well tell Jason I said hi then…"

Sarah nodded as she walked away, trying to remain calm as she got to her brother but it was not easy, so for the first time since they'd arrived at Gaffney she accepted Mary's offer to drive them home, she couldn't possibly deal with the glances and the loudness of the bus.

"Why don't you go lie down?" Mary told her her as soon as they arrived, Sarah nodded as she'd offered to stay a bit longer to help Jason with his schoolwork.

"Are you sad?" Jason worriedly. "Was it that scary boy from the bus?"

Nothing could escape Jason Reese.

"Of course not, I just don't feel so good, hey, stay here with Mary for a little while, okay?" Jason bit his lip. "I'll just be in my room." he nodded slowly as his Aid led him to the kitchen table, Sarah went upstairs and closed the door behind her, dropping her bag.

She moved to the bathroom and took out something for her headache, collapsing on the bed as she prayed for the pain to go away.

She couldn't believe that she'd trusted Noah and now it would cost her more work. She was 14 and a sophmore, clearly ahead academically from her classmates but even though she was ahead, she still had to deal with all the drama being a teenager entitled her to and she hated it.

She had been okay with skipping grades when she was younger, much to her mother's delight but right now, her maturity was turning to be a pain, her need to be perfect and control everything around her, suddenly, she felt as if the pills she'd taken were doing their work and her eyes began to close as she drifted to sleep.

* * *

Connor was getting too worried, as he drove to Nat's house after school, his mind began racing, Nat barely missed school and she never avoided him on propose, not this long anyway.

"Connor honey?" Natalie's mom opened the door. "Is everything okay?" He must have had a stormy look on his face because Carol then asked him about Elizabeth. "Natalie hasn't been feeling well, if you want you can go up. I'm sure seeing you will cheer her up."

He made his way up the stairs, encountering Nate as he went, at 12 he was a little shorter than Connor. "I wouldn't go in there if I were you." Nate told him. "She's been puking all day."

The older boy smiled. "I'll be fine, it's nothing I haven't seen before."

Nate shrugged as he went. "Nat? It's Connor, open up." the door wasn't locked and he could spot her figure lying in bed, he knocked again. "Hey."

She turned to look at him. "Connor."

Her best friend smiled. "You know you could at least text back." she huffed. "You did get sick huh? Maybe you got it from your new bestie April…" Natalie turned away from him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Trying to figure out what's going on with you." He admitted. "Did Jeff do something?" Connor noticed how she'd tensed up.

"Connor, honestly I'm not in the mood okay?"

"Okay." He sighed, lying next to her on the bed like he used to do when they were younger, the bed sank down, it was clear they were maybe too big to fit now, but he didn't care.

He would be there for her in any way he could. "You do know that I'm here if you want to talk, right?"

Natalie smiled. "I know."

But she knew he'd want to hear what she had to say.

* * *

Sarah opened her eyes as the little light that came in made her react to her surroundings. She glanced over to find a note from her mother.

 _She'd taken Jason to Molly's._

"Jason?" Connor Rhodes smiled at the little boy. "Hey bud."

"Connor, hello. Working hard I see?" Susan turned to him. "How are you?"

"I'm good Mrs. Reese, thank you." He told her softly.

"Can I have my milkshake now?" Jason said to his mother.

"Of course, would you mind Connor?"

"Nope, one Molly's special coming up." He smiled brightly at the little boy. "And for you Mrs. Reese?"

"Just coffee, thank you."

Connor turned away. "No Sarah?" Henry asked.

"No." Connor told him, with a glint of disappointment in his voice. "She's still avoiding me."

"Maybe if you two talked?"

Connor's phone buzzed but as it did he was called away to a table. "Hey, would you get a milkshake and coffee for Jason and his Mom?"

"Yeah, but man, honestly..." Henry told him but his friend had already turned away.

Sarah made it to Molly's as fast as she could but when she got there, all she saw was people rushing, spotting her Mom and Jason.

"Sarah, sweetheart, I didn't want to wake you, are you hungry?"

Sarah joined them, sitting next to Jason at the table, from the corner of her eye she tried to spot Connor.

"He still likes us." Jason told Sarah. "He didn't mind I took Optimus to school."

Sarah sighed, it was clear her brother's caring for Connor was still very much there and it didn't help that Sarah had showed up, after she'd told him she wouldn't.

"Hey Sarah." Connor said kindly as he came back with cookies for her brother. "Are you having something?"

"No, I'm good…" she told him, Susan eyed both teens. She had had two failed marriages and could spot tension rather quickly.

"Henry's Mom makes this pretty amazing banana bread. I'm sure you'll like it." He tried. "Sorry." Connor's phone buzzed once more but it wasn't until Henry came to find him that he saw the missing calls from home, Kelly and even Claire.

 _His Mom had been rushed to the hospital._

Sarah could see the change in his demeanor. "Connor?" She found herself saying.

"I.. I'm sorry, I need to go." He said quickly, glancing at his phone, Henry took over on Sarah's table. She tried to shake the feeling of wanting to go after him and find out what was happening, but she failed epically.

Connor made it back to his car rather quickly, he tried to remain calm as he dialed Claire's number but it went straight to voicemail.

"Connor?" A familiar voice said softly as there was a knock on the car's window.

There stood Sarah Reese, the girl he'd come to like in less time than he believed was possible and managed to let down in less, about to discover the biggest secret in his life.

* * *

 **Sooo.. That was a long one! What did you guys think? Let us know, it makes us so happy to hear from you.**

 **Also, BIG NEWS: We'll be posting Wednesdays and Saturdays so that we don't leave you all hanging for long. It's going to be all Rheese feels from here on out.**

 **Anyways, see you in a few days!**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Holding On**_

 _ **Chapter Eight.**_

"Sarah…" Connor said, rolling down his window.

"Are…are you okay?" She asked.

"Eh…" He looked around, as if searching for the answer.

"Of course you aren't that's a stupid question …Is there anything I can do?" She asked in a quiet voice.

With his heart firmly lodged in his throat and his mind racing, trying to come up with a million outcomes, her words and mere presence made him freeze, made everything quiet enough that he could hear himself _breathing._

"No, it's okay...I have to go…it's my Mom. She's in the hospital…she's really sick, sorry I can't really explain right now."

 _He didn't know why she'd told her._

"I…I didn't know…I'm really sorry…"

"I didn't want anyone to know." He admitted. "Not a lot of people do, actually."

"I won't tell anyone, I promise." She insisted straight away. "If there's anything I can do…"

"Wasn't I supposed to look after you?" He asked sort of shakily.

"You're technically not my buddy anymore remember?"

"How could I forget?" He smirked.

She stayed standing there while he rang his sister again and still got no response.

He gripped his phone, "Sarah, I didn't tell you because the last thing I wanted was for for you feel sorry for me."

"I get it, believe me." She said softly. Sarah felt something in that moment but it certainly wasn't what he was implying. It had been the same feeling she'd had the day he'd stood up to Ava for her.

"I suppose you do." He sighed.

"If there's anything…" Sarah repeated, about to ask him if she could at least come along. She wasn't about to let him go alone.

His phone rang, making them both jump. It was Kelly.

"Hey Connor, listen your Mom has been admitted okay? They have to run some more tests but they have her on fluids and antibiotics, and Claire's here. Do you want me to come and get you?"

"No, I'm fine, I can drive, I'll be there soon."

"Connor, I don't think you should be driving right now, honey." he heard the older woman say over the phone.

He huffed, he knew that he had been giving them all a hard time with his behaviour lately but it was Claire that had the DUIs and reckless driving charges, not him.

"I'm fine Kelly." He huffed. Sarah watched him attentively.

"I can come or send someone..."

"It would take double the time for you to come here and then go all the way back, I'm _fine_."

As he spoke, he watched as Jason practically dragged his Mom out the door and stood with Sarah, tugging on her hand.

He continued arguing, which really was just wasting valuable time he could spend getting to his Mom, he'd watch Sarah telling her family something and Jason watching him closely and eventually Susan taking out her own car keys.

He didn't like the idea of letting more people in on his secret, but right now he needed to get to the hospital.

Sarah pointed to her Mom and then to a car, he nodded in return, "Kelly, you know what, a friend is going to drive me, yeah I swear, okay, I'll see you soon."

He liked the small smile that blossomed on Sarah's face when he mentioned the word _friend_.

* * *

"Thanks again Mrs Reese." Connor said as he got out of the car, almost before her Mom had even pulled up.

"Susan, please. And if there's anything else we can do..."

"No, that's alright, thank you." Connor said, "See you later?" He offered the Reese siblings in the back of the car a ghost of a smile and disappeared into the ED.

Sarah idly wondered how she had ended up here.

"It's the hospital." Jason put in. He'd been around in enough of them to know. Sarah felt him tense up.

"We're here to help Connor, he needed to see his mom." Sarah explained.

Jason turned back to see if he could see him. "Oh. Is she sick? Because if she is, doctors are meant to make her better. Right Mommy?"

"Right."

"I'm sure she will be." Sarah reassured him, squeezing his hand. But deep down she wondered, the way he had mentioned that she was _really sick?_ Maybe Henry had been on to something, maybe being Connor Rhodes wasn't all sunshine and daisies, which just served to make her feel one hundred times worse for her misjudgment

He had been trying to help her and Jason and she had assumed the worst.

She rested her head back against the seat. "Can we go home now Mom? It's been a long day."

The rest of her night went past in a blur as she waited by her phone instead of focusing on her homework. She didn't know why she'd expect him to get in contact but she did all the same. Eventually she gave in.

 _Connor, I hope everything is okay…_

She deleted it, what if everything wasn't okay?

 _Hi, it's Sarah…_

She shook her head, backspacing, he had her number, who else would it be?

 _I'm sorry for how I've been acting recently, if you ever need to talk I'm around_

She tried to give up overthinking it and hit the send button.

* * *

"Man _what_ are you doing?" Jay asked, bumping into Will on the way off the bus on Tuesday morning.

"Nothing. What? Can a guy not look around? What are you the police?" Will scowled at his younger brother, but it didn't stop him looking.

It was pathetic, he knew it was. If anyone found out about how much he was pining, he would never hear the end of it. He was pining, he had finally admitted it. It had just taken about three years.

But Natalie was nowhere in sight.

She had missed over a week of school and Will was getting worried. Natalie had never missed more than a few days at most their entire life.

He was such a goner. Had been since their first day in kindergarten when he told her that her hair was funny and she had told him to stop being mean and took his favourite crayon.

He had been working his way up to asking her to their school dance in their freshman year when stupid Jeff had gone and asked her before he had. He felt like someone took his heart and crushed it in their hands when he had seen her staring adoringly at the sophomore who had taken the place he wanted.

He had waited around too long, played the friend card far too long and she had been swooped up.

But Jeff was an idiot and as much as he would deny it if his brother asked, Will Halstead was waiting around, being the good friend, waiting for Natalie to come to her senses and drop Jeff's sorry ass.

He just wished the guy's antics at Ethan's party would give her a little push.

He didn't even want to think about Jeff's words.

"Don't tell me you're looking for Nat, again." Jay said.

"No." Will scoffed, as he took off for the school entrance. "Get a life."

"Fine. Whatever. See you later." Jay caught up with Emily, leaving Will to his thoughts.

But he then caught sight of her all too familiar brunette hair by her locker. His day was looking much brighter.

"Hey Nat." He smiled brightly, making his way to her locker. "Are you feeling better? That was a pretty bad bug you caught huh?" He asked, leaning against the row of lockers while she rummaged around in her own.

"Will…hi…yeah pretty bad…" She said meekly, seemingly trying to blend into her belongings. Something pulled at Will's gut, something wasn't right, that wasn't his Natalie. The girl who stood up for April when she had been bullied in freshman year, the girl who fought back against school policies that she thought they were unfair and single handedly managed to keep Henry Herrmann and Connor Rhodes from being expelled from Gaffney under her watch last year. She was anything but meek.

"Well you didn't miss much, Mr Stohl set this ridiculous pop quiz, Connor somehow managed to piss off Sarah Reese but that's hardly surprising and Maggie is trying to organise the Christmas Dance this year…"

"That's good…." She mumbled, taking out her books.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked quietly, leaning closer, "If you're still feeling sick, you can go home. It'll pass over."

"No it won't." She said.

Were they _tears_ in her eyes? Will was pretty sure his heart skipped a beat. He hated seeing her upset and recently there was only one thing that could bring Nat to tears.

"Is it Jeff? Did he do something? Did he hurt you? Do you need me to have a word with him?"

Natalie laughed humourlessly, "By having a word, you mean punching him and no, please don't. It's not Jeff, not really…."

That did nothing to ease his worries.

"What is it Nat?"

"It's nothing."

"It's not nothing, I can tell just by looking at you."

"Hey Babe." Jeff turned up, swaggering down the hallway and Will swore that Natalie turned a slight shade of green.

"What the hell did you do?" Will demanded, what could he say? He had a temper, especially when it came to protecting those he cared about. He had lost count of how many fights he had had with his Dad just to keep Jay safe.

"What are you yapping on about Ginger?" Jeff sneered, stopping his walk.

"I swear if you hurt her…" He did it without thinking, he had grabbed Jeff's collar and was snarling in his face in a split second.

"Will, stop, Will!" Natalie was at his side in an instant, pulling at his arm.

"Leave him alone, please! Let him go Will, he's my boyfriend."

"Yeah Will, listen to my girlfriend. You hear that? She picks me. And she'll always pick me. Not you." He laughed, pushing Will off.

The sad part, Will thought as he watched Nat walk off with the idiot, was that he was right.

Natalie would always pick Jeff not him.

 _Never him_.

* * *

Tuesday passed by in a blur for Sarah. Noah had turned half her class against her but Sarah couldn't bring herself to care too much. She had been right and she had much more important things to focus on as she glanced at her phone every two minutes.

That day, she spent lunch in the library, trying to catch up on the study she had missed the night before.

 _Hey, I should be apologising too. Mom's stable for now. You free after school?_

 _Yeah, my Mom will be home to take Jason to the doctor for a check up._ _I'm glad to hear your Mom is doing better._ She replied almost instantly.

 _Thanks. Do you want to go somewhere to talk?_

 _Sure, Molly's?_

 _No. There's a coffee shop close by we could go to, just away from everybody._

 _Okay. I'll be there_.

He sent her the directions and she tried not to look at her phone too much after. She wondered what Emily would say if she heard she was meeting up with Connor Rhodes by herself after school.

But truth was, she didn't care.

* * *

Connor sighed fidgeting with his phone as he sat down at the back of the coffee shop. He took the time to process what he'd experienced in the last 24 hours. He'd missed school for the day but Henry had kept him up to speed and told him Nat was back a little before she'd texted him to ask about his Mom.

He still hadn't talked to her, not really. He'd given her a little time to recuperate from being sick or whatever. But he knew something else was going on.

He spotted Sarah as she came in, unsure of her surroundings. "Did you find it okay?"

Sarah smiled shyly. "Yeah…"

There was silence between them for a minute, neither of them so sure of what to say.

"How's Jason?" Connor asked. "I hope he wasn't too confused or scared by everything."

"He's okay." Sarah bit her lip. "Henry told me your Mom is going home tomorrow."

Connor smiled. "Yeah, she's better off at home anyway."

"That's good, and I'm sorry I asked Henry about you. I wasn't trying to be nosy or anything…" she added quickly.

Connor sneaked another smile. "You don't have to apologize Sarah, thank you for caring." he took a minute to add as a waiter came with two glasses of soda. "I hope you don't mind, it's not Molly's but it's quiet."

Sarah nodded. She didn't want to ask him too many questions or show him just how worried she truly was, how sorry she truly was. Henry had been right, if there was someone who could understand her, at least in some level, it would be Connor Rhodes.

"You alright?" He asked, pulling her away from her thoughts.

"I feel like I should be the one asking you that. " she admitted. Connor leaned back on the booth. "So, are you?"

"it's nothing I can't handle." he told her. Sarah eyed him carefully. "Most times." she waited for him to continue. "To be honest with you, I'm just not sure if every time she goes to the hospital… she'll be able to come out."

Sarah's heart sank. "How bad is it?"

"Bad…" he told her, then he shot her a glance. As if she was mirroring what he had been feeling. "Brain tumor."

Sarah's heart sank at his words. "They've tried surgery but…" he watched her, to see if he saw in her eyes what he feared most. Pity. In truth, that would be the last thing on her mind. "How long has it been going on?"

"Six years, give or take. They'd thought she was clear about 3 years ago and then it came back and it's spread now."

Sarah stared at him. She couldn't believe he'd been dealing with this for so long, no wonder he had problems at school and felt the need to care for others.

To care for her little brother. For her.

He drove her home later but they didn't touch on the subject of his mother again. She didn't want to push him.

He did ask about Noah and school. "I'll be fine, I'm working on my assignment and Mrs. Dawson said it won't affect me as much."

"But…"

"Nothing, it's not like I've needed friends before." She said as they reached her home. She got out before he could reply but the sound of his voice made her turn around.

"How about having me as your friend? Would that be the worst?"

Sarah smiled glancing over at Conor. "No, I don't think it would."

Connor drove back home, unable to take this thoughts off of the sophomore. He couldn't quite he believe he had just told someone outside of his circle about his Mom. And it didn't leave a dread in his stomach, it wasn't like Sarah would spread it around. Instead he felt marginally better. She had listened intently, not once looking bored or uninterested. She just got it.

And Connor hoped she understood now why he had gone so far with Jason, just because he was having a crappy life at home it didn't mean he wanted everyone else to have one too. But that was a conversation for another time.

And they had plenty opportunities for it now. Now that they were friends.

He laughed to himself, Mr Charles would definitely get a kick out of that one.

* * *

He pulled his car up on the driveway. His Mom would be on around the clock care after her latest bout of sickness. It didn't bother him, his father might complain about having the staff around the house all the time but Connor was glad of the help and reassurance they brought.

What _did_ bother him was the fact that Natalie was sitting on his front steps.

That was unusual in itself, Natalie was nearly more comfortable in his house than he was and usually just let herself in and make herself at home. But the fact that his best friend was also looking pale, tired and biting her nails?

Something was really wrong.

"Hey, you okay? What's up?" He asked as he approached her as if approaching a scared animal.

Nat stood up in a hurry, looking anywhere but him.

"I…I need to tell someone else."

So this was what must have been bothering her the last time he had visited her. She had remained adamant that it was just a bug. But a few days of stomach upset didn't do this to Natalie Manning.

"Okay." He said.

"You're going to hate me. So much." She told him, staring at him suddenly with tears brimming in her eyes.

"I couldn't hate you Nat. Not ever."

"You will. You're going to think I'm such an idiot. You'll want nothing to do with me anymore. Neither will my parents…" She trailed on.

"Nat, you're shaking." He said, placing his hands on her shoulders, "C'mon just tell me what's wrong, we'll fix it."

"We can't." she shook her head, "Everything is different now Connor. What am I going to do?" She broke down in tears and after momentarily being shocked at the sight, Connor responded by pulling his friend into a hug and let her sob into his chest.

He hoped that she couldn't hear his heart hammering fast because he was now officially terrified. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen her cry.

"What is it Nat?" He asked in a whisper but as firmly as he could.

"I'm pregnant." She said as she took a step back and rubbed her eyes, "I'm having Jeff's baby."

"What?" he choked out.

He was going to kill Jeff Morgan.

* * *

Mary drove Sarah and Jason to school the following day, she'd come to discover her brother and her were getting close which was a relief. Although Jason would ask about Jay and Will. She knew how much he seemed to like the Halstead brothers.

Natalie was also back but she could sense she wasn't herself.

There was something off about her but Sarah wouldn't dare to ask her. In other news, she still had to get through Mrs. Dawson's class, the one she now loathed as she was still at odds with most of the kids.

The bell went off, Sarah didn't even wait for Jay and the others as she headed to the cafeteria.

"Sarah?" Jay came in behind her. She had been avoiding crowds and eating with Jason ever since her fallout with Noah, she'd sneaked over before she could be stopped. But today, Jay had beat her to it.

"Hey."

"I want to apologise for everyone." he told her.

"Why would you have to? I'm the new girl and the snitch, right?" Noah brushed past her. "you don't have to be try and be nice, I wouldn't want you to be in trouble too."

"Come on Sarah, we all know how Noah can be." Emily said, joining them . "Us better than you. Just don't pay him any attention."

Sarah smiled. "Thank you."

"Should we go eat then?" Monique offered.

The rest of the day seemed to go okay and as math approached, Sarah was looking forward to it.

"Hey Sarah." Natalie walked in almost at the same time as her.

"Natalie, are you feeling any better?" Reese smiled at the other girl.

"Yes, thanks for asking." Natalie said. Then she turned to Sarah and whispered. "Connor told me what you did for him, for his mom. He's usually the one going far on stretch for everyone else and most times doesn't allow others to care for him. Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, If I am being honest, he did the same for me, even when I gave him a hard time about it, right?" Sarah admitted shyly, the older girl nodded.

"I guess the buddy system does work huh?" Natalie put in.

"I guess." Sarah offered her a kind smile but there was something more in Natalie's eyes she couldn't place.

"You need to come with me" An out of breath Henry said, glancing at Natalie, he'd appeared out of breath. It seemed Sarah's expression mirrored Natalie's.

Both girls and headed out brushing past Will Halstead, Natalie hadn't told anyone but Connor about the baby and she wasn't ready to, not even Henry just yet.

She just prayed he wouldn't do anything stupid. Connor was right outside the seniors class. He laid back on the wall, casually waiting.

"Connor, class is about to start." Sarah told him. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, you don't want Downey to catch you guys out." He told them. "Specially you." He said to Reese.

"Let's go then." Natalie said. "I know what you are doing but please don't." She begged. Henry and Sarah glanced at each other. "Please Connor, you promised."

"Wait… what's going on? Did Jeff do something?" Henry asked.

Connor eyed Natalie.

He'd promised her not to go and smash Jeff's face, not that he wasn't going to because he figured if he did Natalie's secret would be out and it wasn't his place to reveal it.

But he was so pissed. He couldn't believe that jerk had taken advantage of his best friend and the worse thing was that he'd let it happen.

"Everything alright guys?" Mr. Charles appeared by the corner, staring at the group. "Shouldn't you all be in class?"

"Yeah, we're on our way, sir." Henry smiled as he turned to the others. "Come on." Sarah turned around to follow the older boy, but Connor hadn't moved.

It would be a disaster to have Connor confront Jeff right outside his class, his friends would gang up and… Sarah shivered at the thought.

"Connor, please." Sarah tried. She'd seen that darkness in him before. At Molly's.

Connor sighed, glancing at Nat once more and then turning to Sarah.

He began walking back to Downey's class. Not really saying anything.

"What the hell was that about?" Henry asked Natalie as she followed behind, she didn't reply, she could only handle telling one of his best friends what she'd done and truth be told, she was more preoccupied over what Connor would do, she knew he wouldn't let it go easily.

* * *

 **Ohhh... Rheese are friends now? And things are about to get complicated for Nat! Thank you for supporting the story guys! We love hearing from you!**

 **Sorry there wasn't a new chapter yesterday but here it is! We'll see you in a few days :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Holding On**

 **Chapter Nine.**

"So do you have any plans for today?" His Mom asked as they ate breakfast together. Her complexion was still too pale and she was sleeping more than usual but she was recovering from her latest stint at the hospital better than usual.

He pushed his cereal around the bowl, "Not much." He shrugged. "I suppose I'll catch up with school."

"Right answer." She said, a smile playing on her lips.

"Well what else am I supposed to do when I've been recommended to take the day off?" He huffed.

"Kill the attitude, Connor."

It was serious when his mother took that tone with him. He may try to deny it but he knew he was his Mom's baby boy. They just connected far better than he ever would with his Dad. And he had only heard her use that very tone a handful of times before.

Mostly now that he was a teenager.

"Sorry." He replied instantly, he didn't want to make her day worse. She had another doctor's appointment later. "I'm just so annoyed…" He said, rubbing his eyes.

"I know you are, so am I." She took his hand. "We both know that Jeff Morgan was trouble from the first time we met him, but another 'altercation' with him sweetheart, I don't know if we can get another school to take you Connor, Rhodes or not. And I don't want to have that conversation with your father when he comes back. Besides, the most important thing is that we're there for Natalie right now."

Oh yeah, he couldn't wait for his father to go off on him again, he'd missed being yelled at for sure. Who wouldn't, right? His good mood wouldn't last him forever. That was for sure.

"I know." He sighed. And he did. He agreed with everything his Mom was saying but still. He and Will had been advised to take Friday off school to calm down over the weekend given the circumstances of the ordeal. Poor Nat had been beside herself that they could be suspended or expelled and it was the only solution that Mr Charles could come up with that would keep the school board and Natalie happy.

The school couldn't be held responsible for putting extra strain and pressure on Natalie now that she was pregnant. They had to play their cards right.

His best friend was having a baby.

He still hadn't quite wrapped his head around it.

Everyone else hadn't really either.

* * *

 ** _The day before..._**

 _Nat had caught up with him after school, "Hey! Connor!"_

 _He stopped when she called, was it even good for her to be running anymore? He didn't know. He made a mental note to research pregnancies and babies._

 _He didn't know a lot about what was going on, but he knew one thing. Natalie would never be alone, not while he was still breathing._

" _Yes , Nat?" She punched him hard enough on the arm that it actually stung._

" _What the hell was that before math? Huh? Just waiting for Jeff to show up? You_ _ **promised**_ _you idiot. No one can know. Not yet." Her voice started to tremble and he took that as confirmation that she still hadn't told her parents._

 _It was a hell of a secret to be keeping._

" _You can't just go picking a fight…" Nat carried on with her rant but Sarah walked by, flanked by Henry. She watched him with a wary expression and he hated himself for it._

 _She was learning to trust him, finally as someone more than her 'buddy' and he had nearly gone off the deep end again._

 _Still, she caught him looking at her and managed a small wave and half a smile. Was that red in her cheeks?_

" _Connor…seriously are you even listening to me?" Nat demanded, clicking her fingers in front of his face making him revert his attention back to his friend._

" _Yeah, I'm sorry okay? I just hate him more than I ever thought possible. I wasn't going to do anything anyway…"_

" _You would have if we hadn't shown up, I know you…"_

 _That stung, but she was probably right, if Jeff had looked at him the wrong way or ticked him off somehow, he'd probably bust his face._

 _It mustn't have been the right thing to say because Natalie frowned slightly and let her hand drift to her stomach._

" _Connor. I…I think I want to try and make it work. With Jeff."_

" _I'm sorry?" He coughed out. No freaking way. At this rate, he wished she had picked Halstead, and that was saying something._

" _It's just…it's his…you know? I know he may have acted badly at Ethan's party but that's just when he's with his friends and they have him drinking, he's so sweet with me really."_

 _He couldn't believe his ears. If he was so sweet then why would she end up at Connor's house crying every couple of weeks in the last year since she'd been with him?_

 _He took a breath and counted to ten. He didn't need to upset her further and he really didn't want the Rhodes temper to take the worst out in him. "Well, you know what I think. Just…make sure you check in with me? You know I'm just looking out for you, right?"_

" _I know." She said. "I'll call you later, okay?"_

 _He slumped against the nearest wall. He didn't know what he could do and he didn't like that feeling of helplessness._

 _The hallways emptied pretty quickly as all the kids headed home, catching buses and ready to enjoy their evening. Connor took the long way to his car._

 _He caught sight of Jeff and his band of idiots down the corridor and had to stop. He didn't think he had the self restraint to walk right past him and not give him hell. The only other person in the hallway was Will at his locker, without his trademark smirk._

 _Jeff or Will?_

 _Connor never thought he'd voluntarily talk to Halstead. Ever. But there he was._

" _Hey man, aren't you late for your bus?" He never thought much of the guy before that night of the bonfire and how he and Jay had seemed really worried for Sarah._

 _Will looked as surprised to find Connor talking to him as Connor felt about actually striking up the conversation._

" _Yeah. What's it to you?"_

" _Nothing." Connor shrugged. "Want a ride?"_

 _Will looked at him like he had eight heads, he couldn't really blame him._

" _Nah, I want to walk home, clear my head."_

" _Rough day?"_

" _You could say that."_

" _I know all about that."_

 _Will closed his locker and swung his bag onto one shoulder. Walking down with Connor of all people. He might as well as Jay had said he'd be going over to Emily's._

" _Man, she was so easy! All I had to do was give her some soppy lines about being in love and she practically dragged me to bed."_

 _Both juniors turned their head at the same time to hear Jeff laughing at his own story while his friends listened in, giving each other high fives._

 _Connor curled his hands into fists and Will put his school bag down._

" _I'm telling you guys, Natalie will do whatever I ask her to, if you know what I mean."_

 _Connor didn't have to even look at Will to know there was no way they were going to let Jeff get away with talking about Nat like that._

 _They were half way over there by the time Jeff noticed and laughed even louder, "Oh look who it is! Ginger and Waiter Rich Boy, come to pick a fight eh boys? Trying to defend Nat's honour right? Well it's a bit late."_

 _That was when Connor's fist connected with Jeff's face._

 _Jeff went to fight back but Will lunged for him and rammed him into the lockers._

 _One of Jeff's friends tried to pull Connor away but he managed to maneuver his elbow into the guy's stomach and get another hit on Jeff who was struggling around with Will in the middle of the corridor._

" _What are you doing?" He'd know that scream anywhere. Natalie came running toward them with Sarah in tow, "Stop!"_

 _Jeff flung Will to the ground and kicked his middle and Connor shouldered Jeff out of the way and dogged a punch, he didn't need another bruise on his face._

" _Stop! Please!" Natalie shouted as Jeff's friends had surrounded him, chanting for them to fight. Her shouts were nearly drowned out in the raucous._

 _Will somehow managed to knock Jeff to the ground and landed a punch that made the senior's nose bleed._

" _Hey, hey, what is going on here?" It could have been Mr Charles's voice but Connor was too preoccupied to look around._

" _Will please stop! Please!" Natalie was crying now as Will and Jeff wrestled on the ground. "Stop hurting him!"_

" _You should have heard the crap he was talking about you." Connor looked up long enough to argue back. Sarah was half holding Nat up._

" _Natalie this guy is a jerk. He deserves it. Why the hell should we let him off talking about you like that?" Will managed to ask as he held Jeff down. "Why would you want him around you, he doesn't deserve you…."_

" _Oh and you do Ginger boy?" Jeff snapped at Will._

 _Connor's eyes went wide as Natalie tried to push Will off Jeff. "Please Will…" She was trying to fight off the tears._

" _Nat, are you serious, did he threaten you or something? Why are you defending him?"_

 _Natalie glanced over at Connor as Mr. Charles and the gym teacher pushed the kids apart._

" _I think we should all have a talk in my office huh?" Mr Charles asked as one of the gym teachers approached with Ms Goodwin._

 _Connor winced and it had nothing to do with the fight he had just been in. What if his parents found out? What if he got expelled?_

 _What the hell was he going to do now?_

* * *

"Can Sarah Reese please report to the reception? Thank you." The speaker in the corner of the room seemed to boom and Sarah's heart leapt to her throat.

Was she in trouble?

"Sarah, you're excused." The teacher prompted as Sarah continued to stare at the speaker in horror.

What had she done?

Surely she couldn't be trouble for yesterday? All she had done was stay with Natalie as the boys fought and held her as she cried herself dry in the corridor until Mr Charles took her into his office where her parents had been called to.

He hadn't seemed angry at the time. It was after school, it wasn't like she had been skipping classes.

Her mind raced as she walked as quickly through the empty corridors to get to reception. Her stomach dropped even further.

What if it was worse, what if something was wrong with Jason?

It didn't even bare thinking about.

She ran.

It was the last class of the day, and she knew Jason was already out, probably at the playground, what if he had hurt himself?

She was so selfish to think of herself first and not her little brother.

"No running." The receptionist reprimanded without looking up.

"Sorry." She said rather breathlessly. "I'm Sarah. Sarah Reese. Eh my name was called to come here…You don't know if it's my brother do you? He's in the middle school and…"

"I just give the messages, I don't make them. Mr. Charles said to send you in when you got here." She nodded toward the guidance counsellor's door.

Sarah nearly tripped as she paced over and knocked.

Dr Charles opened the door, "Sarah, that was quick, why don't you come in. I'm terribly sorry for taking you out of class."

"Is it Jason?" She asked from the doorway.

"Oh no. Not at all. Apologies, I didn't mean to frighten you." Sarah could breathe again.

She liked the system here, after her last meeting with Mr Charles he had suggested they had a meeting every two weeks or so for her to chat about how things were with Jason. He also promised to keep her up to date with the counsellor over in the middle school and so she'd be calmer.

She liked that they cared.

The teachers even let her carry the cell phone and answer it if Mary called.

"I hear he did very well in his test this week." Mr Charles said as he took a seat and motioned for her to do the same.

"He did." She smiled, he had gotten a _Transformers_ sticker and everything. She was sure Jason's positive outcome at school had something to do with Connor.

"I'm glad. So you're probably wondering what I called you for then huh?"

Sarah nodded, shrinking in her seat.

"I'm in a bit of a predicament. You probably noticed by now that Jeff, Connor and Will aren't in today."

 _How could she not?_

She hadn't heard from Connor after the fight but she had heard from Emily this morning that the school board was not pleased. They had made all of them take the day off, but it wouldn't be counted as a suspension. Mr. Charles had seemed to go above and beyond for both Connor and Will given their history.

"After yesterday's _incident_ , all of them have taken a day to think about their actions and we're working on a way of being able to keep them all in school."

"The truth is, I didn't see the whole thing but I was just worried about them. And I knew something was wrong when I saw Connor and Will fighting together." She admitted.

"Seems like they have found some common ground," He agreed with a small smile while cleaning his glasses, "I just wish it was under better circumstances. Anyway, I brought you here about Connor."

"Connor?"

"Yes. I have someone to take schoolwork to the other two but I was thinking about someone to bring Connor all the work I gathered off his teachers today. Well, I thought of you. You two seem to have gotten over your ah, disagreement, and I thought you could swap buddy roles, even if it's just for a day?"

 _Her? Didn't he have someone else to ask?_

"What about Henry?"

"I'm afraid Mr Hermann had to go home early with family issues. Of course you don't have to…"

She hesitated, if only for the fact that she knew now that Connor was as defensive about his home life as she was, and to turn up on his doorstep? She'd given him such a hard time about it when he'd gone to her house, of course, it was not the same, but still and if she was being honest, deep down, she was still frightened by the stormy look in his eye when he was fighting Jeff.

 _But they were friends now, right?_

"I'll do it."

After Mary had agreed to watch Jason, Sarah made her way to Connor's house. She had to text Henry to get his address and hoped she wasn't bothering him, but he said that someone had been needed to cover at Molly's while his Dad brought his Mom and baby sister to the hospital. Nothing serious as it turned out, but he had had to leave school early.

* * *

Sarah had thought that Emily's house had been big. But Connor's?

She stood looking at it with her mouth open for a few minutes before gathering all her courage and ringing the doorbell.

A friendly looking woman opened the door and Sarah was slightly blindsided, _did Mrs Rhodes really look that well after being in hospital._

"Hi…Mrs Rhodes? I'm eh, I'm looking for Connor. I'm Sarah Reese, I go to school with him and I have his schoolwork and…"

"Hi there Sarah, I'm not actually Mrs Rhodes, my name's Katie, do you want to come in and I'll get Connor?"

"Oh sure, yes please, thank you." She nearly fell over her words.

The woman smiled and led Sarah into the biggest living room she had ever seen to sit while she went and got Connor.

"Hey Sarah." He smiled, appearing in the doorway not long afterwards. "How are you?"

 _Was he nervous?_

"I'm good thank you." She said, "How are you?" she asked before cringing at her words. She knew he couldn't afford to keep getting in trouble.

He shrugged, "I'm good I guess." He ran a hand through his hair.

"How's Natalie?" She asked softly.

"I eh, I don't know. I called her but her Dad said they had taken her phone away. Thanks, for what you did for her yesterday by the way."

"I didn't really do anything." She shrugged.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." He winced, "I know…I…I haven't been a very good friend." He admitted, taking a hesitant step into the room. "Henry and Nat have been my friends forever but you are…different. I was going to call you last night but I honestly didn't think I should, I didn't want you to be scared of me."

"I was worried about you, after Mr Charles sent me home. I thought you were you going to be expelled or something. Sorry I didn't call either, I just.."

"You were worried about me?" He perked up.

"Y…yeah." She bit her lip.

"I'm sorry I was so angry, it's something I'm working on but Jeff, he just winds me up and the things he was saying about Nat…" Connor shook his head. "I lost control."

"I've only known Natalie a little while but I think she deserves someone better than him."

"Me too."

"And you were just looking out for her." She smiled at him. "What?"

She suddenly felt self conscious of him looking at her with those blue eyes. "I'm just surprised you're here."

Sarah was about to reply when a voice called from behind them. "Connor, are you going to introduce me to your friend?" Katie arrived back in the room pushing a woman in a wheelchair. Elizabeth smiled kindly at Sarah.

Connor jumped at the interruption _,_ "Eh, Mom this is Sarah Reese. Sarah this is my Mom."

Sarah got up and met the woman half way and shook her hand, "It's nice to meet you Mrs Rhodes." Katie took her leave, eyeing the kids as she went.

She could see Connor took after her a lot, she had the same sparkling blue eyes.

"Oh please call me Elizabeth, it's so nice to finally put a face to the name, I've heard a lot about you."

"Oh." Sarah faltered. She blushed violently.

"All good things, I promise." Connor smiled.

"I hope my boy here has been helping you. He's good at that but sometimes he gets a little carried away." _She'd probably heard about Jason too. Sarah thought_ , suddenly blushing at the thought of Connor talking about her.

"Yeah, he sure has Mrs. Rhodes." Sarah managed to say.

"And how is your little brother? Connor was telling me he's settling in okay?"

"He is, thank you. A lot thanks to Connor too actually…" She admitted suddenly. Connor turned to her, observing her curiously.

"I'm glad to hear that, being new is never easy and I'll tell you what… your brother is lucky, I used to have to pry that robot toy off Connor when he was little. He used to sleep with it and everything, took it everywhere with him!" Elizabeth smiled, though her face was strained as if she was in pain.

"Mom! Stop trying to embarrass me…" Connor butted in with red climbing up his neck.

"Well what's a Mom for if not to embarrass her babies to their friends hmm?" Elizabeth laughed.

Sarah felt a pang of jealousy, she knew her Mom loved her and Jason, it was just sometimes she wished she'd brag about them as much as Connor's Mom did, she seemed to adore him.

 _Not that it was hard not to._

"Yeah yeah." He rolled his eyes with a grin, "Sarah you want to come up to my room to talk?" He asked as he stood, trying to pry her away from his mother.

"Door open Connor." His Mom told him.

"Mom!" Now he definitely was blushing and Sarah laughed quietly.

"Actually, I came by with school work." Sarah said, trying to deflect the conversation from anything regarding, her, Connor and his bedroom door being closed. "Mr Charles asked me to give you the work the teachers had for you."

"Could you not have left them in a dumpster somewhere, I wouldn't tell on you." Connor moaned with a smile.

"I like you even more Sarah, thank you for making sure he keeps it up at school." Elizabeth said before yawning. "Can you call Katie, I think it's time for my nap. Sarah, it was so lovely to meet you, you should come by anytime you want. Our door is always open." She smiled.

Connor got Katie and she wheeled Elizabeth out the door.

"So…that's my Mom." Connor said, avoiding her eye. As if her illness was something to be hidden. Sarah wasn't proud of it, but sometimes she felt the same way about Jason's situation too, it just entailed a lot of explaining.

"I really like her." She smiled, "How's she doing lately?" She asked quietly.

"Better, the new meds are doing their job apparently." He said, "So... do you have anywhere to be? If I'm here doing schoolwork, I'd like some company." He asked with a lopsided smile.

 _How could she say no?_

* * *

She let Mary know as he went in search of drinks and snacks. They hunkered down in a smaller living room at the back of the house as she tried not to think about his bedroom.

She filled him in on whatever news she had heard at lunch time and during school, making sure to gloss over any Natalie related gossip while he tackled the books.

He opened up more about his Mom and about how he had an older sister he never saw much of. "That's part of the reason I think you're amazing for all you do with Jason."

She tucked that away for later, Connor Rhodes had called her _amazing._

Sarah also told him about her old school and the bullying and how she was much happier at Gaffney.

"It's because of me, isn't it? He joked.

She didn't want to tell him that maybe his statement was right. "Of course." She joked trying to fight off the overwhelming feeling just as Katie came around with dinner for them in the living room because they were so comfortable and apparently she was happy to see Connor having a new friend and more even so knowing she was the famous Sarah her boy couldn't stop talking about.

Connor's phone kept buzzing as he sorted through his English schoolwork.

"Do you want to get that?" Sarah asked as she read through the novel that she had been given to read for homework.

"Nah." He waved his hand, "It's just Ava."

"Okay?"

"She just…" He sighed, "Our Dad's are business friends and she assumes that means we're friends, or more than friends you know? But…"

"But?"

"I mean look at the way she pushed you around at lunch that time. or the way she got at Molly's. I don't think I want to be friends with someone like that."

 _Was he picking her over Miss Popular? Sarah felt her stomach flutter._

"Time for math." He faked cheered earning a laugh from Sarah.

"You don't like it?"

"I guess I do, it's never been my forte though, and my Dad gets on my back about it. It brings down my GPA, makes me look bad…" He rolled his eyes but she saw his shoulders slump. "Oh great Downey started a new topic today too. Wonderful. Have you got any idea about this?"

Actually, she did, she had loved the new topic, doing her homework on five minutes on the way home on the bus.

"Yeah, I mean I can show you my notes of you want?"

"Really? Would you mind?"

"No, of course not." She said, gathering her things and her courage and moving from her place opposite him at the coffee table to seat down beside him on the cushion they had arranged.

"Okay, let me see, so if you start here, it's kind of like what we did last week only…" She went on explaining the new concept, using the book and her notes and she tried desperately not to notice how close they were or how he wore really nice cologne.

He was a good student, she was happily surprised to learn. He listened diligently, asked questions, took his own notes. He was focused on the work and she kept reminding herself to not focus on the fact that their arms would brush or that she could nearly feel him laughing or that he had a small scar on his cheek if she looked closely. Or that he smelled amazing.

He seemed completely unfazed by how close they were and she told herself she was being silly. He was her friend. It didn't matter if she found him ridiculously handsome.

They managed to get through the information he missed in class as well as the set homework eventually.

Sarah picked up her phone while Connor went to the bathroom and was surprised to find a message from Emily.

 _Sarah! Are you free now? I'm sooo bored lol. Wanna come over to mine to hang out? Or I can come to you? Pleeeeese it's Friday night and I have NOTHING to do, it's tragic! xoxo_

Sarah bit her lip, she appreciated the invite but she felt like Connor needed her more right now.

And a little voice in the back of her head told her that she didn't really want to leave anyway.

 _Sorry Emily, I'm helping Connor out with some school stuff. Next time?_

Connor came back with more snacks and with the majority of his schoolwork done, they ended up sitting back against the couch and chatting about anything and everything.

 _Ugh fine. U r so lucky. Please tell me school stuff is code for making out with him?!_

Sarah's cheeks flushed red, "Everything okay?" Connor asked as she checked her phone.

"Yeah. It's just Emily." Sarah replied.

A knock came to the door, "Connor?"

"Yeah Katie?" Connor asked, sitting up better.

"Your Mom wanted to remind you that it's getting late. Would Sarah like to stay in one of the guest rooms?"

Sarah sat up in surprise and took a look at her watch. Since when was it 10pm? She mumbled a curse under her breath, she hadn't meant to stay this long. Her Mom must be home by now or Jason would be asking for her.

"Sorry, I didn't realise the time." She said, stumbling to her feet and shrugging on her jacket. "Thanks for the offer but I really need to get home."

"Of course, sorry I lost track of time." Connor said, following her suit, "Hey, I'll drop you home okay?"

"Oh, you don't have to."

"I know. I want to. Come on." He grinned to her and led her back to the front door and down the steps and into his car.

* * *

He opened the door for her. Usually, she'd be looking at her phone if she was in Mary's car but she found it hard not to look at Connor as he drove. "I've never asked you what kind of music you like huh?" Connor asked.

"Anything it's fine." She assured him.

He smiled again. He put on some current hits playlist and drove through the city. She sent her Mom the quickest text ever to let her know she was on the way home.

She didn't know what the protocol was, she didn't have many friends back home and hadn't gone out much, unless she counted Joey, which she liked to exclude and her Mom had never set her curfew.

She stifled a yawn.

"sorry about keeping you so long. I really appreciated the help. And I enjoyed having you around."

 _Honestly? It had been one of the best evenings of her life. Connor seemed to just listen to her._

"It's okay, I had a good time actually." She said with a shy smile.

"I'm glad." He shot her a grin.

He pulled up along the curb and let Sarah out of the car. "Thanks for the ride."

"Anytime." He smiled.

"Sarah!" Jason's voice came from the door as Connor walked Sarah to the door. It was what a gentleman would do his mother would say.

"Hey Jason, what are you still doing up?"

"Mom said you'd be home to tuck me in like always so I stayed up." He said, "Connor!"

"Hey Buddy, how's it going?"

"You were with Connor _without_ me?" He sounded so hurt that it made Sarah falter.

"Sarah was helping me with school." Connor said getting out of the car.

Jason wrinkled his nose, "But you had to help Sarah, you're her Mary."

"Yeah, but today she helped me."

"oh."

Sarah didn't hear her mother approach, "Hello Connor. Thank you for making sure Sarah got home okay."

"Hi Susan, it's not a problem. She was great help."

"Where were you? You weren't at Molly's." Jason said. "We went there for dinner."

"We were at my house, Sarah was helping me with my homework."

"You didn't want me there?"

"Oh, no! It wasn't…it's not like that…" Connor tried to explain.

"Can I come to your house then?"

"Jason, you can't invite yourself to someone else's house remember?" Sarah said gently.

Jason nodded, "So can you come to my house Connor?"

"You don't have to…" Sarah jumped in.

"We can watch a Transformers movie, I'm taking care of Optimus Prime real good I promise."

"That's good to hear." Connor smiled.

"Can you come tomorrow?" Jason asked directly.

"Honey I told you I was working tomorrow night remember? Sarah is going to watch you." Their Mom replied.

"Okay and then Connor can come too." Jason was eyeing Connor. He was a quiet most times but Sarah had noticed Connor made him want to interact. He'd never been so open before.

"Honey I'm sure Connor is busy." Their Mom said.

"Actually, Susan, if you don't mind, I'd love to come over, I owe Jason right?" He smiled with a brief wink to Sarah.

"Oh well…" Sarah wondered if her Mom had ever come across someone like Connor who was willing to give up his Saturday night for them. "Only if you want to."

"I'd love to."

"Well then you're very welcome."

Sarah watched Jason say goodbye to Connor, reminding him to be early because he couldn't stay up late two nights in a row and walked him back inside to bed and she waved to Connor as he pulled away. "You didn't have to do that." She told him.

"I didn't have to, I want to." He smiled at her.

She stood there long after his car had vanished from view.

Did she really understand that right?

 _Connor was coming to watch a movie at her house. And her Mom wouldn't be home._

* * *

 _O_ _ **h are Will and Connor becoming friends? And Rheese is getting close again, let's see how movie night goes!**_

 _ **Thanks as always for the support guys! We're glad you're enjoying the story, we love working on it.**_

 ** _See you in a few days!_**


	10. Chapter 10

**Holding On**

 **Chapter** **Ten**

Sarah Reese woke up Saturday morning with a feeling that made her stomach flutter, she and Connor would be alone tonight watching a movie.

 _Alone_.

Her phone buzzed, it was Emily. Sarah still wasn't sure why she'd told Emily she was with him the day before.

 _So, did you and Connor kiss goodnight? I've always wondered if he'd be a good kisser…_

Sarah blushed at the words, Emily then asked her if she wanted to come over and hang out with her and Jay.

She felt horrible for having to use Jason as an excuse to cancel but knowing the other girl, she wouldn't dare to bring up Connor being alone with her.

"Sarah? Would you make sure your brother has breakfast? I have to go." Her mother peeked her head inside her room.

"Sure."

"Thank you sweetheart, I'll see you later, alright?" Susan smiled sending Sarah a kiss.

As she headed downstairs to check on Jason, her mind began to race.

She would have to find something to wear for tonight.

Sarah was finally registering that Connor Rhodes would be over in less than 12 hours.

* * *

Connor had had to work at Molly's that morning.

His mother had asked him to help Hermann still, Natalie hadn't been back to work yet.

He didn't even know if they were okay or if she was pissed at him.

He was sure she hadn't told anyone about the baby, not even Henry and them not keeping him on the loop was something that made their childhood friend feel left out which was the reason they were barely talking.

"Alright, the silence will drive me crazy, are you kids gonna tell me what's going on?" Hermann asked both boys. Connor glanced over at Henry.

Neither of them spoke.

"Fine, don't tell me, I'm gonna go to the back, take care of some tables, will ya?"

Connor moved first, he saw the Halstead brothers and their dad.

After what he'd seen the night of the bonfire, he had the feeling their dad struggled with caring for his children, still he seemed to care more than Cornelius ever would.

Henry took the table and Connor focused on some other family.

Including the Manning's.

Carol smiled at Connor. "Hermann's got you boys busy huh? Is that why we haven't seen you around the house lately?"

"Yeah."

Nat glanced at Connor. She still hadn't seemed to have said anything but she could barely look at him after his fight with Jeff and Will. "I hear your mom is doing better, did she tell you I came over? We had a nice chat."

The Manning's were the nicest people around, Natalie was the oldest, and then Nate, followed by Olivia who was 10, then came Lily, 5 and finally Josh who had just turned one.

"Come here pal, give me a hand?" Herrmann called for him. Connor excused himself, eyeing Nat as he went.

She followed him back.

"Can we talk?" She asked as he took some boxes and moved to the back.

"I'm busy." He told her. Natalie frowned.

"Connor…"

"Natalie…" he mimicked her.

"Funny, please I hate that we're not talking."

"Whose fault is that? I did my job and took care of you and you went on defending that jerk…"

"I talked to Mr Charles for you…" she retorted.

"Gee, thank you." He didn't even look at her.

Henry came to a halt as Connor was blocking the door to the storage.

"What's going on?"

"Ask Natalie." Connor told him, moving out of the way.

Henry eyed the girl carefully. "Nat?"

Her parents were right there, she couldn't possibly tell him now.

"Remember the swing set by the park? I'll meet you there after you are done?" She told Henry who nodded and she went back to her parents.

Connor sighed.

He hated this, and most of all he hated Jeff Morgan.

* * *

Sarah was making a wreck of her room when her mother came back midday. She had a dinner later for which she'd asked Sarah to babysit Jason.

"What happened here?" She asked. Sarah sat on her bed in the midst of clothes.

She didn't know why she was this nervous, she had never been like this with Joey, even if he had never been her real boyfriend or anything.

 _Not that Connor was either_.

"Sarah honey," Susan came into the room with a soft smile playing on her lips. "You do know you're beautiful, don't you?"

Sarah bit her lip. "And I thought you and Connor were just friends."

"We are." Sarah huffed.

"But he's handsome and sweet, I wouldn't take him for a boy who liked to just stay in and watch a movie, but I guess appearances can be deceiving, can't they?"

Sarah looked over at her mother. It felt strange really, to have her here and advising her about boys.

She'd barely noticed when Joey began to hang out more with her back home

Again, not he had been her boyfriend, even if he told people otherwise.

"Will you be okay? I just want you to be responsible, for you and Jason, alright?"

Of course, she'd never to something that would put Jason in danger or break the rules, her mother knew that much and trusted her.

Susan stayed home for a couple more hours and then it hit Sarah it was time for Connor to almost come. She remembered how Jason had told him to be there at 6.

"Connor, come in." Susan told him kindly.

Sarah was in her room when he arrived, she heard Jason coming down the stairs to greet the older boy. "I'm almost on my way out."

Jason and Connor were going on about something when she came down, her heart almost faltered when she saw him. He wore a long sleeve black shirt and dark jeans and his usual leather jacket had been replaced for a winter one as October rolled around the corner, his hair was messy as always.

She wore, well, nothing like that even though she had gone through her entire closet.

"Hey Sarah."

"Hi." She told him shyly.

He smiled. "Connor said the first movie is the one he likes best Sarah, like me." Jason said.

He meant the old made for TV animated ones, the ones Connor had seen as a child too. His mother wouldn't allow him to watch the live action versions just yet.

"Great, I'll go set it up in a minute." Sarah told her brother.

Jason nodded. He moved to the living room where Connor spotted Optimus.

"He never leaves it out of his sight." Sarah pointed out to him. Connor smiled.

"Well, I have to go, I think there's some popcorn in the kitchen, please make sure Jason is in bed after it's over."

"I will, don't worry mom." Susan eyed her and Connor as she went, and after kissing her children goodbye, they were left alone.

Sarah asked Jason what he wanted to drink and gave him a few minutes on the tablet while she went into the kitchen. Connor followed her.

"That will keep him busy for a minute." She told him.

"Can I help?"

"No, I'm good, do you want something to drink?"

"Coke is fine if you have it." Connor said. "I wanted to bring something over from Molly's but figured sugar wasn't a good idea before bed."

Sarah smiled. "You don't have to try, Jason already likes you."

"I like him too." Connor admitted with a smile.

Sarah felt her stomach flutter again. _And her? There she went with the overthinking again._

They made their way back out, popcorn, milk and two glasses of coke in hand.

Jason was already sitting on his side of the couch, which meant Sarah would have to be very close to Connor.

Like, next to him.

The movie began making Sarah sit up straight as she gave her brother his own small bowl of popcorn and she and Connor shared the bigger one.

As the evening went on, Sarah couldn't help but notice that her fingers brushed Connor's more than once as they ate an he would glance over at her and then turn to her little brother and talk about everything and anything Jason would come up with.

 _He seemed nervous, he couldn't be, not about her, right?_

She smiled at the sight of her baby brother being positively social, that barely happened and Connor seemed to know just how to engage with him too, which made Sarah feel content.

And like Connor Rhodes even more.

The movie was about to end when Sarah noticed Jason's eyes were barely open.

"Jason, buddy, let's get you upstairs, come on."

"You said I could finish it." He told her, not looking over.

Sarah sighed. It had been her fault he'd stayed up the night before.

Still, it wouldn't be the first time Sarah was in the position to carry her brother to his room, even though he didn't like to be held, she had to somehow as he could barely walk.

"I can do it." Connor offered when Jason had finally fallen asleep.

"It's fine.."

"Sarah…" he eyed her, picking up Jason and following her upstairs.

As Connor entered the room, Sarah helped him get the covers off as he placed Jason gently on the bed, not forgetting to put Optimus on the nightstand beside him.

* * *

"Say something Henry, please?" Natalie stared at him.

"No wonder Connor and Will wanted to smash Jeff's head." His friend said. "I mean, how? No, I know how but…"

Natalie looked like she wanted to cry. "It's the stupidest thing, I haven't even told my parents."

"They won't hear it from me." He assured her. "Still, I think you should them soon. People start to show after the second month."

Natalie giggled. Only Henry would know that. "What?"

"Is that why you won't talk to Connor?" Henry asked. "If it had been me, I'd probably gone on Jeff too."

"Not by yourself, Connor has a fuse Henry and I begged him not to do something stupid."

Henry smiled. "You seriously thought he was going to let Jeff live after what he did?"

"He didn't do it alone, it's my fault too." Natalie shot at him. "And I love Connor for trying to defend me, but whether or not he likes it, Jeff's the father."

"Sadly." Henry pointed out. "So, you're keeping it?"

Natalie sighed. "Even if my parents kick me out."

"They won't. You just have to tell them soon Nat, so you can all come up with a plan."

And by a plan, he meant for her to not drop out.

"I want to finish school, this baby will be here in about 7 months so that gives me time to almost finish the school year. I don't think I could get rid of it, you know?"

"Adoption? You could consider it."

"I guess."

"Okay and then…"

"That's as far as I've gotten." She admitted.

Henry reached for her hand. "Now I'll have to talk to Connor, apologize?"

"I think you owe it to each other, I'm sorry I put you both in this position." Natalie swung lazily.

"Hey, no matter what, you know we're both here, right?"

"Connor? I'm not sure." Natalie said sadly.

"Nah, he might be pissed, but he's Connor, he'll come around."

Natalie smiled, reaching for her phone.

She'd have to call him.

* * *

"So, I'm guessing you'd want to go, right?" Sarah told Connor as walked away from Jason's room.

He smiled. "Or we could just hang out for a little while."

Sarah smiled shyly. "I'd like that. We could go back down or.."

She was not sure whether or not she should have him in her room but it was too late as he spotted a the door half open and went ahead of her.

"Sorry about the mess, we're slow at unpacking."

Thankfully all her clothes were stuffed back in her closet.

"I get it." He assured. "It must have been hard to leave all of it behind. We've never moved anywhere."

Connor sat on her bed.

Sarah left the door half open and joined him.

"Would you like to? Leave Chicago?"

"Yeah, as soon as I can, but my mom needs me right now."

"And you still have school to finish" she added in.

He shrugged. "My latest stunt isn't going to help me though."

Sarah bit her lip. "You just need to focus."

Connor ran his hand through his hair. "I guess."

"Come on, you don't give yourself enough credit, I saw you yesterday, you're a fast learner."

"That's only because I had a good teacher." He said with a kind smile.

Sarah blushed. "Ah, well maybe I could help you? I know we only have math together, we can start with that."

Connor's eyes were shining as darkness began to fall on them. "I'd like that very much, gives us a chance to hang out more, right?"

"Jason will like that for sure." Sarah rolled her eyes.

"Would you?"

"Of course, you're not that terrible."

He beamed at her. "It's a deal then."

Connor's phone buzzed. It was Natalie. "Everything okay?" He nodded. "Hey Nat."

"Oh, hi, are you busy? I thought we could talk, I just wanted to say I told Henry but I'm still not sure how I will tell my Mom and Dad…" Connor hesitated.

"Are you there? Do You want me to beg? Fine, I'm sorry I freaked about you and Will getting into that fight, but you do know you are this close on being expelled, right?"

"Maybe you should go." Sarah said from the other side.

"I'm not..can we talk later? I'll call you as soon as I make it home, alright?"

"Oh." Nat said. "Okay...Hey Connor, you do know I'm sorry, right?"

"I know."

"I love you."

The line went dead. "Everything okay?" Sarah asked worriedly.

"Yeah, it's just Natalie… but I should probably go, my Mom is still not happy about what happened.." He beckoned shyly.

"Sarah?" A small voice said behind her. It was Jason.

"Buddy, what's wrong?" Sarah and Connor turned around.

"She's not meant to have boys in her room." Jason glanced at Connor who'd seemed to blush.

"Connor was just leaving…" Sarah said.

"Okay." Jason said, clutching to Optimus as he then told Sarah he was thirsty and the kids took it as a cue to cut the evening short. After getting Jason back to his room, Connor walked back down to the kitchen.

"Thanks for tonight, I had a good time." He told her with a smile. "We should do it again sometime."

Sarah bit her lip. "Yeah, for sure."

"Tell Jason I said goodnight?" He said quietly. She walked him to the door, holding on to her brother's glass of water.

"Thank you." She told him suddenly.

"No problem Sarah, really you don't have to thank me." Then the unexpected happened. He leaned to kiss her cheek and Sarah froze. "Good night."

"Y...yeah… goodnight. Text me as soon as you get home?" She managed to mumble. He winked at her, getting into the car and he watched him drive away. Her heart pounding loudly.

Her hand absentmindedly touched the spot where he'd kissed her.

One thing was for sure, Sarah Reese was beginning to feel something for Connor Rhodes and it scared the hell out of her.

* * *

 ** _A/N: Oh how cute are Baby Rheese? Are they finally falling for each other? And how is poor Nat going to deal with being pregnant? Hope you enjoyed this chapter! See you Wednesday!_**


	11. Chapter 11

_**Holding On**_

 _ **Chapter Eleven**_

"Sarah!" She turned to find Henry rushing toward her. "Glad I caught you. Listen we're having a surprise party for Connor's 16th birthday tomorrow night at Molly's after we close. Do you think you can make it?"

"Oh, a party?" Sarah asked hesitantly, after her last experience she wasn't so keen to go to another one.

"Yeah, sorry for the late notice, it was a last minute thing. Connor didn't want a party at home or anything…" Henry mumbled as he shrugged. "So Elizabeth asked my Dad if we could hold something small at Molly's, just close friends, you know? But you can't tell him, it's a surprise." He grinned.

That sounded a lot better. "Eh, yeah sure that sounds good, my Mom is home tomorrow night so I should be allowed to go."

"Awesome!" Henry beamed, "Cool, well I have to go and catch Will and Jay."

"Really, they're invited?"

Sure, Sarah knew that in the two weeks since the big Jeff fight, Connor and Will seemed to get along _a lot_ better but she didn't think she could classify them as close friends yet.

"I know I was doubtful too, but Elizabeth said she doesn't condone them fighting, but having them fight together is better than fighting each other. I think she hopes she build on whatever truce they have going on right now." Henry said, "Anyway, I'll text you the details later on, see you in math Sarah." He pushed his way through the crowd of students while she turned down one of the corridors making her way to her English class.

"There you are!" Emily said, catching sight of Sarah. "so I was thinking, me, you and Monique tomorrow night? Girls only sleepover, cheesy rom-coms, too much popcorn and all the nail varnish." She was practically jumping up and down on the spot.

 _Crap._

"Tomorrow night?" Sarah asked.

"Yes! Oh come on, please don't blow me off _again_." Emily whined.

Sarah felt terrible, the past two Fridays she had spent with Connor, coming up with ways of picking up his grades. And her Mom had been away on business over the weekends and she had been at home with Jason.

Connor may have called for another movie night after Jason had gone to sleep but her Mom could never know, not after the lecture she had to endure when her little brother had let it slip that Connor had been in her room the first night.

He hadn't kissed her cheek since. Not that she expected it, but she couldn't help but jump every time he got close now.

"I'm sorry, I have this family thing on…How about Saturday night?"

"For sure?"

"Definitely, I promise."

"Okay, but I get to pick the movies." Emily warned with a smile as she led Sarah into the classroom after the teacher had opened the door.

* * *

"Nat, you're going to have to tell your parents. Sooner rather than later." Connor said as she got in his car.

"I know that Connor." She snapped.

She was just glad they were talking again. She'd never say it but lately she tended to enjoy Connor's company more than Henry's. Connor wasn't constantly smuggling her books to do with pregnancy and caring for babies. She knew Henry's heart was in the right place, it was just turning out to be a little overwhelming.

"I'm sorry." She rubbed her eyes, she seemed to be tired all the time. "Can we blame it on my hormones?" She asked with a small grin and sheepish expression.

"It's okay. But do we have to go to Molly's now?" Connor groaned.

"Henry wants to meet us after work and hang out like we used to, you can't say no to that can you, specially on your birthday." Except Natalie knew he could, his Friday evening's had started to be taken up by a certain sophomore. He'd never tell, but his Mom had been gushing to Natalie about how amazing Sarah was. Nat got it though, with everything that came with being a Rhodes, the newspaper articles, the photographed events and social circuit, Connor liked his privacy.

"Fine. But he better make us those burgers and I have to get home, I promised Mom we'd do something with Claire tomorrow."

Nat's stomach lurched at the thought. "No thanks." She scrunched up her nose. Morning sickness turned out to be more like all day sickness. She was just surprised her parents hadn't noticed yet, but they had a house full of kids.

They'd barely paid attention to their older child.

"You have to try and keep something down. I'm sure Herrmann wouldn't mind if we raid his pantry..."

They arrived pretty quickly for a Friday night. The sign said closed, it being past nine o'clock. The diner used to open later but they never got much business and bedtime in the Herrmann house required two parents on board.

Nat texted Henry to let them know they were there. And that Connor had no clue it was a party.

It had been voted that of all people, he wouldn't say no if Nat asked him to come out.

They reached the door and Henry opened it, the place in darkness.

"Finally, you're here. Come on in, Dad said I can start up the milkshake machine again and…" He rambled on while he led them inside.

Then the lights turned on.

"Surprise!"

It was a sensory overload. The bright lights, the shouts, the party poppers. It took an extra second for Connor to realize the surprise was for him.

"What?" He practically spluttered.

"Well you said you didn't want a fuss, but my baby only turns sixteen once." His Mom said from where she was sitting at one of the tables, besides Kelly. She looked a million dollars, even the dark circles under her eyes and hollow cheeks couldn't take away from how happy she looked.

"Mom…" His voice broke and he made it over to her and gave her a hug. "I love you." He whispered in her ear.

"I love you too, my big boy." Elizabeth whispered so only he could hear.

"Man, do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a secret from you?" Henry laughed.

"It would be easier if you were a better liar." Herrmann told his son before turning to Connor, "It's why I had to keep you two on separate shifts this week. Happy Birthday Connor."

"Thanks you guys, I wasn't expecting anything." He smiled. "And you!" he pointed at Nat. "I had no idea!"

"That was the point you dork." She smiled before hugging him. "Happy Birthday, you've finally caught up with us."

The entire Herrmann family was there, along with all the Mannings, Ethan, April, Katie and Kelly, Otis and Joe from his old school, Sarah and surprisingly the Halstead brothers.

"Happy birthday" Jay shook his hand and Will nodded.

"Yeah thanks guys. Thanks for coming."

"Hey." He caught Sarah sitting with his Mom, as if his Mom could become any bigger of a fan of hers.

"Hi. Happy Birthday." She smiled, standing up and giving him a hug. He smelled amazing and it took her a minute to recover. When she sat back down her cheeks were red.

"Thanks Reese. So you were in on the surprise too huh?" He grinned, taking a seat at the table.

"Yeah, Henry swore me to secrecy." She admitted. "Just be warned, if Jason ever hears it's your birthday, I'm pretty sure he'll drag Mom to the shop to get you more Transformers cartoon movies." She smiled.

"Hey it's an excuse for another movie night right?"

"Uh yeah, I guess it is." She mumbled with a smile suddenly focusing intently on her glass.

"Go say hello to Olivia Manning, she was so excited about all this." His Mom told him.

"Should I really be encouraging a ten year old's crush on me?" He asked. Poor Olivia seemed to stop in her tracks every time she saw him lately and Nat had told them that she had seen her sister writing Mrs Connor Rhodes in her journal one night.

"Well it's just because you're so handsome." His Mom said, ruffling his hair. "Now go on."

Sarah did not blame Olivia at all and his Mom was right, he was handsome, even more so as seemed really happy about the whole party. His Mom had been worried he wouldn't have liked the surprise but Sarah could see that he did, he hadn't stopped smiling since he came in.

Elizabeth excused herself to the bathroom, with Kelly holding her over, but Sarah had noticed she no longer depended on her wheelchair so that was good news, once she was gone, the Halsteads came over.

"I gotta admit, I thought Rhodes parties would be up more upper class." Will said, looking around.

"Yeah we wore ties and everything." Jay admitted, "But we had to take them off." He showed his scrunched up tie in his pocket.

"Well I'm glad you guys are here."

"I thought his Mom only invited us to chew me out about all the fights but she seems really nice." Will said.

"She is, she really is." Sarah told them.

Jay cleared his throat, "How long has she been sick, do you know?" He asked under his breath.

Sarah froze, she couldn't answer that _. How could they know?_ Elizabeth looked better than Sarah had ever seen her.

"Jay." Will scolded, "You can't just ask that."

"What? Don't tell me you didn't notice."

"That doesn't mean you have to bring it up." Will said as he stood up with a frown on his face, "Anyone want another drink?" They both declined and he stalked off to the counter.

Jay sighed, "Sorry. It's still a touchy subject. Our Mom…" He rubbed the back of his neck, "She eh, she died of cancer three years ago. I just kind of know the signs I guess. It explains a lot actually, why Connor is reserved…I didn't tell anyone about the cancer until Mom died."

"I'm so sorry." Sarah said, at a loss of what else she _could_ say. She knew Mrs Halstead had passed away from Emily but she didn't know how.

"It's okay, long time ago now I guess. Will still doesn't like mentioning her now though."

"Well, I mean, I'm not… well if you ever want to talk about her, I'm here to listen." She spoke softly.

"Thanks Sarah, I appreciate it, really." He said, "How's Jason doing lately? I miss my bus buddy."

He changed the subject and she happily obliged, chatting about the fact that Jason seemed to be actually making friends.

The cake came out not too long after, Sarah suspected with Elizabeth and all the kids present, the party wouldn't go on too late.

They all sung happy birthday as he stood by his Mom and Mrs Manning took pictures. They were all somehow corralled into a group picture which featured Olivia staring adoringly at Connor. Sarah had just been lucky she had torn her own gaze from Connor just before the camera flashed.

As the party began to wind down later, Sarah sat beside Natalie on a booth, her parents had gone off ahead with her little siblings.

"I'm still taking him over somewhere tomorrow on his actual birthday." Natalie told Sarah. "He doesn't like to make a big fuss as you might have noticed, I guess it comes with being thrown into Gala Nights since before leaving diapers behind."

Sarah listened attentively. "Plus, I'm guessing his dad won't make it." the girl added in. "So, it's my job to make sure he at least enjoys it."

She turned to Connor instantly, he was standing, helping out Hermann and Henry.

"Birthday boy, I'm going ahead with your Mom, she's a little tired." Sarah heard Kelly say.

Connor beamed. "Okay, I'll see you guys later."

He leaned to kiss his mother, helping her up. "Thanks for this."

"Of course baby, I'm glad you had a good time. And you and Will seem to be on the good side huh?"

Connor rolled his eyes at her. He knew she'd been the reason he was there. Hermann opened the door for them to help Elizabeth into the car.

Sarah watched him come back, his gaze was relaxed but she could see there was something bothering him.

Everyone had already left by the time it was time to call it a night. Connor had insisted on driving her home, so it was just her, Henry, Natalie and Hermann. "I gotta close kiddo, happy birthday."

They hugged. Sarah could see just how much Hermann seemed to care for Connor, almost like a father, much more than his own from what she could gather.

"Come on Henry, your dad said you're driving me home." Natalie told him the other boy who sighed.

Connor ruffled Henry's hair as he went and they all headed outside. "Drive safe." Hermann called to the kids.

Henry got into the car with Nat and they all said their goodbyes.

Sarah found herself in the driver's seat, that was turning out to be a thing now.

"Any requests?" He asked, browsing through his phone. Sarah shrugged as a song began to play.

 _I've been so many places in my life and time_

 _I've sung a lot of songs_

 _I've made some bad rhymes_

 _I've acted out my life in stages_

 _With ten thousand people watching_

 _But we're alone now_

 _And I'm singing this song to you_

It sounded familiar to Sarah, she'd probably heard it from James's.

"I can change it, Nat tends to make fun of my musical taste." Connor said, pulling Sarah from her thoughts.

"No, I like it actually?"

"You know Donny Hathaway?" Connor seemed utterly surprised. Sarah blushed.

"You're full of surprises huh?" He smirked.

 _You taught me precious secrets_

 _Of a true love_

 _You wanted nothing_

 _You came out in front_

 _When I was hiding_

 _But now I'm so much better_

 _And if my words don't come together_

 _Listen to the melody_

 _'Cause my love is in there hiding_

The song played on and Sarah felt incredibly shy all of the sudden, specially when Connor began to hum along.

He had a beautiful voice. "Sarah?"

"Yeah?"

"We're here." He said softly as the car stopped.

"Oh."

He got out to open the door for her and walk her over.

"So, thank you for being there, sorry we didn't get to talk more." Connor said as they reached the door.

"We have next Friday to do that, right?" She smiled.

"True."

Sarah suddenly felt a gush of wind and she wrapped herself into her coat. "You should go inside."

She nodded. "Happy birthday Connor." Sarah wanted to move but she froze looking into his blue eyes in the dim light of her front door.

"Thanks." It was like time stopped. Sarah held her breath as she felt his face move closer. She thought he was kissing her cheek again but he seemed to have other plans as it appeared his lips inched closer to hers.

"Sarah?" A voice startled them, the door opening.

Connor didn't recognize the voice but Sarah did.

 _James._

* * *

 ** _A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Who doesn't love a party for Connor? See you on Saturday! :)_**


	12. Chapter 12

_**Holding On**_

 **Chapter Twelve**

"Am I interrupting something?" He glanced between her and Connor. _The worst part was that Sarah didn't know if he was. Could Connor had been about to kiss her or had she imagined it?_

"No, I was just going." Connor said.

"Eh, Connor, this is James my…" Sarah hesitated, she didn't know what to call him anymore. He had been her Mom's boyfriend, then her stepdad and now he was the man who was divorcing her Mom. "He's Jason's Dad. James, this is Connor, a friend from my new school."

They shook hands and Connor glanced back at her and offered her a small smile before making his way back down to his car.

"It's good to see you kid." James smiled before pulling her in for a hug. She didn't hug him back.

She had loved him, grown up thinking that he loved their family, loved her.

But he was leaving, just like her own Dad had.

"Yeah, you too." She told her shoes as she followed him through the door. "What are you doing here?" She didn't care if she sounded harsh.

"I thought I'd come visit my kids, is that so bad Brainiac?" Her old nickname. The man standing in front of her had gone to all her spelling bees, and proudly displayed her good grades on the refrigerator door and she thought she could depend on him.

"How was the party?" Her Mom asked from the kitchen table when they got inside. Jason was cuddled up beside her glaring at the table.

"You're going to parties now?" James asked, wide eyed.

"You went to a party?" Jason asked, his bottom lip wobbling. Crap, part of the plan was that Sarah was supposed to leave and be back all after Jason had gone to bed. Obviously James was keeping him up.

"No it wasn't a party." Sarah started, "I went to help Connor with some homework but his Mom mentioned it was his birthday. So how about next week we go and get him a present?"

"Can I pick?"

"Of course you can." She said, making her way over to him but stopping. He was probably already overwhelmed having his Dad turn up unannounced and Sarah not there when he woke up.

"I wanna go to bed." He said. "I don't wanna hear the loud talking, can we watch cartoons instead?" He asked Sarah as he glanced at his sister.

It broke her heart. Her Mom had tried to tell him that her and James' arguments and shouting contests were only them talking loudly. But Jason never bought it. He was a smart kid.

Sarah had lost count of all the times she had sneaked into his room to comfort and distract him from the noise downstairs.

"You could have called first." She spat at James, brushing past him and following her brother who'd decided to remain safely upstairs.

"C'mon Sarah, aren't you happy to see me?"

She held back tears as she stopped in the doorway. She wished she was happy he was back.

"You never called me like you said you would." Was the only answer he got before she ran for the stairs. She found Jason hunkered on the floor, clutching Optimus Prime.

"Dad's here." He whispered, and her heart broke for the little boy who sounded so lost. "Mommy's not happy."

"It'll all be okay." She said as she sank to the ground near him, lying to him and to herself. "When we wake up there's no school and we can see what Dad thinks of Optimus, how about that?"

"Can we watch the movie again?"

"Sure thing."

"Can you tuck me in?"

"I'll always tuck you in." She followed him into his room, decorated in various cartoon figures and green _everything_. He had decided it was his new favourite color, this month.

He climbed into bed and she went about tucking him in enough so no monsters could get him. Read from a fairytale book and she told him she loved him. He sighed contently and rolled over and was asleep before she reached the door. He liked his routine, it always calmed him down.

Sarah, on the other hand, stayed awake until she heard the front door close. He was gone.

Her Mom appeared at her door not long after, "Sarah, sweetie, are you awake?"

"Yeah I am. Is everything okay?"

Her Mom sighed as she sat down on Sarah's bed, "He says he's sorry for not visiting sooner. He wants to reconnect with Jason. And with you."

"Really?"

"That's what he said. He's coming around on Sunday so we have a bit of time for Jason to readjust to the idea."

"That's good, he needs time."

"what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Sarah, at one time you thought of him as your Dad you know?"

Up until a few months ago. The wounds were still too fresh.

"Yeah well, I shouldn't have. Look what he did."

"A divorce is between two people Sarah, he's not all to blame."

"Yeah but you didn't take off. _We're too much to handle_."

She shouldn't have been listening but she had sat on the stairs while they fought that last night, it was what he said before he walked out. Sarah and Jason were too much, a burden.

"Sweetie, don't you dare think that. I think you're both very special." She said, "We'll talk more tomorrow okay?"

"Yeah, goodnight."

* * *

Sarah had a headache the next morning. She hadn't slept much and Jason was grouchy from James' surprise arrival. Her Mom was on the phone all morning with colleagues about work.

Sarah pushed her cereal around her bowl, annoyed.

Why couldn't she just enjoy the fact that she had friends and the boy that was so nice to her maybe… just maybe had tried to kiss her? Why did she have to be the calm and reliable one of her family?

 _Hey, we still on for tonight? Don't you dare say no! :))_

Emily texted her and Sarah smiled for the first time in twelve hours.

"Mom, can I go to Emily's tonight?" Sarah asked, trying to get her Mom's attention from where she was writing something in her files.

"Out? Again tonight?"

"Yeah. It's just Emily, we're having a sleepover."

"I think one party is enough for a weekend don't you?" Her Mom said, back on the phone before she finished her sentence.

"You did go to a party! And you didn't invite me!" Jason shouted from the door, his eyes welling up with tears and running back up stairs.

"Sarah! Don't upset your brother like that!" Her Mom scolded, phone on her ear and following Jason.

She rested her head on the table. Her phone buzzed.

 _Hi Sarah, thanks for coming along last night. Hope you had fun. You didn't get in a lot of trouble, did you?_

Connor. She didn't know how to respond.

She turned off her phone. It wasn't like she'd be allowed to leave the house anyway.

Sarah caught up on her studies for the rest of the day, taking care of chores and trying to keep her brother happy. She sent an apologetic text to Emily saying she wasn't allowed over and another one to Connor saying that she'd talk to him on Monday.

Then turned off her phone again, her family needed her.

She made lunch and brought her Mom's up to her office for her. Then settled Jason down by playing one of his boardgames, all the while keeping an eye on the clock, wondering if James would turn up like he said he would.

Sure enough, at four o'clock the doorbell rang. "Is that Daddy?" Jason squealed, tripping over in an attempt to get to the door. Sarah followed him and unlocked it.

"Hey you two. How's your Saturday?" He stood in the doorway with a bag in his hands.

Jason just stood by Sarah, his hands clasped together, slightly amazed that he was there.

She started walking after James attempted another awkward hug and followed his son. She closed the door and took a breath.

She joined them in the living room where James was handing a wrapped present to Jason.

"So where's your Mom?"

"She's working upstairs." Sarah said, taking a seat on the sofa.

"On a Saturday?" He asked.

"Mom's always working." Jason stated matter-of-factly as he unwrapped the present.

"Do you like it? I know you love those movies." James smiled.

It was an Optimus Prime toy.

"But I have one." Jason stated.

"You do?"

Jason nodded, "Sarah's Mary got me one."

"Sarah's Mary?" James directed the question to Sarah with a smile. She didn't even know where to begin. James had missed a lot.

"Yep. His name is Connor, he's big, helped watch me when Mom was not here, he was in Sarah's room when she wasn't supposed to have boys there." Jason said all this while going back to playing around with the board game figurines.

"In her room?"

Sarah tried to jump in but Jason got there first. "Yeah they were on her bed."

"It wasn't like that." Sarah immediately argued, her cheeks warm. She tried to tell herself that she shouldn't care what James thought of her anymore, but she did. "Connor's a friend. He helped me out when I started school."

"James. You made it." Her Mom appeared in the doorway with a tight smile on her face. "Just in time, I was about to make dinner, are you staying around for it?"

"We're having dinner here?" Jason piped up. "But we always have dinner at Molly's."

"It's our local diner." Sarah explained.

"Yeah I always have milkshakes and fries." Jason grinned.

"Is that so?" James asked. "So how are things? How's your new school?"

"It's okay." Jason said.

"What about you Sarah?"

It went against everything she had told herself since he had left, that she shouldn't ever trust him again. But there he was paying attention and wanting to know them again and she felt her resolve slipping.

"It's good, I'm taking Junior level math now."

"You are? Well it's a good thing I got you this then." He produced a present from the bag for her. She told herself that he couldn't just buy her affections but she opened it anyway.

It was a fancy student planner and a set of junior Math and English and Chem books, the classes she had taken back home. He had also included pamphlets of superior courses for the summer.

"I thought since you were here now, that you'd like to know your options, and be close to Jason." He always told her she was the best big sister his son could have and knew that she would never stray too far from him. "Your savings account is still there, wherever you go"

He had also created a savings account for her use for going to university the day she had won her first regional spelling bee. He told her she could go places, she liked to believe him.

Sarah cleared her throat, "So how are things with you?" It pained her to ask, what if he had another family? What if he had never given them another thought.

"I have actually bought an apartment here in Chicago. I applied for a transfer here in work and got it, I figured it would give me time to see you two again. I should have been in contact sooner, I swear I think about you two every day but I wanted to get everything sorted before I told you." He lowered his voice. "My leaving had _nothing_ to do with the two of you, divorces are bitter, I'm just sorry you both got stuck in the middle."

Sarah's heart filled with the unfamiliar feeling of hope.

They chatted about school and Jason until dinner was ready and Sarah felt like she was having a flashback to when they were a happy family.

Jason started getting tired after dinner so James suggested he leave them be for the night. He asked if they were free the next day. He was going to take them both out so they could show him around.

Her parents were even being civil.

Sarah couldn't believe it. It was like someone had taken her dreams and made them reality.

Sure they wouldn't be like they once were, but with James back, they could be a family again, even if he did live in a different house. He could help her out with school and bring Jason to his appointments.

She slept easier that night and so did Jason apparently. They were both up early the next day.

"Is Dad coming?"

"Yeah he is, he promised remember?" She said as she poured their cereal.

"He promised to tuck me and he didn't come back for a long time." He said in a quiet voice but she brushed over it. James was trying to make amends, she would give him the benefit of the doubt.

"He'll be here, we're going to have a good day okay?"

James did arrive, five minutes early. They walked him in the direction of the bus stop.

"This is where we get the bus." Jason said.

"You guys take the bus?" Back home James had always dropped and collected them from school.

"Yeah. I like sitting next to Jay. Will is funny." Jason chatted along and Sarah beamed with happiness, she would have never expected it but moving to Chicago had been the best thing for him.

They showed him the local park, the library that Jason liked because the librarian gave him a sticker every time he read a book, and the nearest tourist centre. They were making their way home for lunch when Noah shouted hello from across the street.

"I don't like him. He hit me. He goes to school with Sarah too." Jason hid behind James' leg.

Sarah waved but kept them walking, "He's just an annoying guy from school I had to do a project with, he's a bit full on with Jason."

They made it back and had lunch without Sarah's Mom who had left a note that she had been called in for an emergency in work. James offered to go along with them to the afternoon swimming lesson Jason had and Sarah agreed.

They got home that evening, both tired but both happy. Jason demanded that James tuck him in and Sarah let them have their moment.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay until your Mom gets home?"

"No, it's fine, we do this a lot, I'm used to it." Sarah smiled, "Thanks for today."

"Okay then. Well I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight Sarah."

It had been a good day.

* * *

Sarah should have seen it coming. He turned up for breakfast the next morning.

"James, to what do we owe this honour?" Her Mom asked.

"Can we talk in private?"

She cast a glance to Sarah and Jason. "Sure thing." She led him into the living room and closed the door. Sarah clenched her spoon. That was _never_ a good sign.

"Jason, why don't you go brush your teeth since you're finished?"

"Okay." He skipped off happily but Sarah remained stuck to her seat.

She didn't even have to strain to hear when the shouting started a minute later.

"Who do you think you are? You arrive back here after months of silence and you want _what_?"

"I want custody of my son Susan. Dammit whatever thing you have going on here is ridiculous."

" _Our_ son! And you can't just come in here and start criticizing everything!"

"I can when it's impacting Jason! What the hell kind of game are you playing?"

"Excuse me?"

"Sarah having boys in her bed? Eating at a diner because you're never home to cook? Kids from school that push him around? Letting a fourteen year old girl care for my son and the house while you're out every night? I won't have you neglecting him anymore."

Sarah heard the slap next. "Don't you dare come in here pretending you're perfect. You know nothing about this family anymore."

"That's the problem Susan, neither do you." Sarah's hands were shaking and it was getting harder to breathe.

"I wanted to do this privately but you leave me no option, I have rights. And I want my son back where I can take proper care of him."

James left the room with a red cheek just as Jason came down the stairs, "I'll see you later kid, eh, see you Sarah."

She felt sick.

"What's wrong Mom?" Jason asked as Susan came out with a tear stained face.

"Nothing, don't you think you two should be getting to school?"

Sarah ran on autopilot and got their bags and out the door for school. She didn't know what to say to her mom so she didn't say anything at all.

* * *

The ride to school was quiet, the Halsteads chatted away to them but seem to realize Jason was more quiet than usual and Sarah for sure didn't want to talk back, they didn't push it.

It was when she got to her locker that her morning got worse, not that she thought that was possible.

"There you are!" Emily said as she stomped up to Sarah.

"Emily, hi, sorry about Saturday, did you have a good weekend?" She tried to act normal but her mind was screaming...What was James about to do to Jason, to her family?

"Are you serious? You blew me off _again_! No I didn't have a good weekend."

"Emily, I'm sorry…"

"For which time? Because you know I heard that you've been spending a lot of time with Connor so what's the deal? Why can't you hang out with me? Am I not good enough?"

"Emily, no! honestly, something happened at home and I couldn't…"

"You know what I thought we could be friends, obviously not. If you didn't want to hang out or be my friend, you should have just said so!" She shouted, before huffing and turning on the spot and walking away.

That's what Sarah did. She made people want to leave her.

Before she knew it a crowd was looking at her, like she was some strange animal in the zoo and she felt tears sting her eyes.

Nothing she did was ever good enough, everyone always left.

"Sarah, are you okay?" Connor had appeared at her side with a concerned looking Will.

"No." She shook her head. "James wants to take Jason away, now Emily thinks I'm horrible and…" She trailed off as she made a run for the nearest bathroom.

She'd began to cry by but then forced herself to get it together. There was nothing she could do now.

Connor was outside waiting for her, "Is there anything I can do?"

"No. Thanks. I…" She didn't even know where to begin.

"I'm here for you, you know that right? I'm your friend, you won't be able to get rid of me, that easily." He offered her a smile and she smiled back. "C'mon, I'll walk you to class." They walked close enough that their arms bumped but all she wanted to do was reach over and hold his hand.

* * *

The doorbell rang and Sarah's Mom looked up. "Are you expecting someone?"

Sarah shook her head and went to answer the door. She found Emily outside.

"Hi." She said.

"Emily." Sarah crossed her arms across her body.

"I wanted to say I'm really sorry about how I acted today."

"Okay."

Emily took a breath. "You don't have to hear me out, but I'd like it if you did."

After the day she had had, Sarah didn't even care about anything anymore, "Sure, go ahead."

Emily scuffed her shoe against the ground. "Jay told me about Jason's dad. He said he's back, Jason told him so on the ride home."

"So?" Sarah was afraid of the answer.

"I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions and wouldn't believe you."

"Thanks."

"I haven't been a very good friend. I guess I just wanted to say that I get it, if you ever want to talk about it."

"About what?"

"Not having the _quintessential perfect family_." Emily sighed, "I'm actually adopted, by Ethan's parents. I've been through the foster system and believe me, I've seen my share of broken families."

"Oh."

"Yeah, I didn't want to make this into my own sob story, but I just want to let you know I won't be yelling at you in hallways anymore, I'm really sorry Sarah."

"It's okay."

"Is there any chance we can still be friends?" She tried with a small smile.

"I don't think I'll have much free time from now on." Sarah admitted, "but if I do, I'll call you first."

Emily smiled broadly, "That's all I ask, plus you are not getting off on telling me about you and Connor.."

If only everything in life was as simple as people turning up at your door and saying sorry and meaning it.

* * *

James did come back that afternoon to talk to Susan, they didn't yell this time but Sarah felt as if this had been her fault a bit. Jason had seen her and Connor in her room. She should have known better than to have him up there.

" _Are you doing okay?_ Connor had texted her. He'd told her they could meet up at Molly's and talk if she needed to.

Sarah said no. Her head was pounding and her heart was too. Because of James, Jason and even Connor.

She hadn't even had time to process their almost kiss from the other night. Had it been real though? If James hadn't appeared, would he really have kissed her?

No. Connor would never like her like that. She was his friend, girls like Sarah didn't get Connor Rhodes.

Ava on the other hand did. Sarah was proven of that the next day in Math class, she'd sat beside Connor and far from Nina and Doris and asked him if he had anything planned for Halloween.

Sarah hadn't been eavesdropping, she just happened to hear a bit of their conversation.

Halloween. Sarah couldn't believe she'd been at Gaffney for almost 3 months.

The Reese family didn't really go big on Halloween. Jason wasn't allowed to eat that much sugar and he didn't like the idea of anything scary, plus when she was younger, her mother would barely take her.

Mona did though, her former nanny. She'd done everything with Sarah her mother hadn't. But by the time they left Michigan she was married and about to have a baby, she couldn't just drop everything and move away.

That didn't mean Sarah had forgiven her though.

She moved on autopilot for the rest of the day, getting to the bus behind Emily and Jay and Jason.

"Sarah?" James appeared behind her. "Hey kiddo."

Jay and Emily looked at each other. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought I could drive you guys home." Jason remained on the bus until he spotted his dad, then he got off it, Will Halstead trailing after him.

"This is my dad." Jason told Will, Emily and Jay.

"Hi." Jay and Emily mused. Will didn't answer.

"Hey, I want to thank you for being so nice to these two…" James smiled. "So what do you say? I'd like to check out that Molly's place you seem to like so much."

James touched Jason's shoulder and he winced. Will didn't back down. "It's okay Will."

"Are you sure?" He leaned a little closer to her so James wouldn't hear him.

"Yeah, I promise, I'll see you all later?"

She walked away, behind Jason and James, leaving her friends to wonder if she'd be okay.

Honestly, Sarah wondered that too.

* * *

 **A little family drama for Sarah! Btw, we're loving all your thoughts on the story... keep them coming and we'll see each other next Wednesday :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**Holding On**

 **Chapter Thirteen.**

Ava Bekker checked her appearance one last time in the mirror before getting out of her car. She couldn't be too careful. She fluffed her hair and added an extra layer of lip gloss, just in case.

Her and Connor were meant to be together. He just didn't know it yet.

She marched up to the front door with confidence, she would have that house one day. She pressed the doorbell firmly and waited for the answer.

Katie opened the door, one of Elizabeth's carers, but Ava was under strict orders not to pry too much into the woman's illness. Her father had told her not to bother, Cornelius would keep them updated, there was no point in upsetting Mrs Rhodes.

Not when she wanted the woman to like her.

"Hello Ava, is Connor expecting you?"

"Do I need an invitation to visit my friend?" She raised her eyebrows, she wasn't some new kid like that Reese girl, Ava and Connor had history.

The woman gave her a tight smile. "No, I suppose not. He's up in his room, I'll fetch him for you."

Katie said as she let Ava into the lobby.

"I can get him myself." Ava argued. Honestly, it wasn't like she was a stranger, Connor's room, it reminded her of their childhood, when they had had no option but to spend time together. Until they grew up and Connor started to change.

But Ava loved a challenge, she was going to get her Connor back.

After all, they had a make out session to finish.

She bypassed Katie and made her way up the grand staircase and towards Connor's room.

She was about to burst in, to give him a good surprise but she stopped when she heard voices.

"I know you're worried, but you won't be able to hide it much longer."

"Do you think I don't know that? I check myself in the mirror every morning and my Mom is starting to wonder why I wear such baggy clothes."

Ava would know that voice anywhere. Natalie Manning.

The girl had been the bane of Ava's existence for years. She was part of the rag tag group of lower class people Elizabeth had always insisted Connor spent time with, for what reason, Ava didn't know.

It wasn't like they could understand the life she and Connor had to lead. Heirs to family fortunes, with strict rules to follow, and bend without getting caught. The pressure. The cut throat social circle. The fake smiles and stabbings in the back. The business deals. The never ending spotlight.

But then Connor had switched schools for getting a little overzealous and Natalie and her group of weirdos had sunk their teeth in.

Now Connor spent his time working at that diner which was ridiculous, the interest on his trust fund alone would be able to buy multiple low class restaurants like it. Preferring to hang out with anyone but her. Giving all his old friends the cold shoulder and stopping attending the events his family went to.

It was all Natalie's fault. Someone like Connor Rhodes was going places, rich, handsome, smart and good pedigree, hopefully with Ava by her side and that was why she sure as hell wasn't going to let Natalie and the weirdos at Gaffney derail him.

 _But hide what exactly?_

"That's why you should tell them. Maybe they can figure out a way to talk to Jeff about it too."

"How exactly will that conversation go? Hey Mom and Dad, don't mind that you've just had a baby last year, I'm pregnant!"

Ava nearly gasped in shock but that would have broken her cover. Her skills at eavesdropping were renowned among her peers. How else would they find out the latest news?

Connor sighed, "But Nat, after your parents, have you considered talking to Jeff? I may not like him but he should know. He's has to be responsible."

Natalie mumbled something quietly.

"What?"

"I said I've told him." Natalie said.

"You have? So what did he say?"

"That's the problem, he hasn't said anything since, and he hasn't been in school. I'm getting worried Connor."

"This is why you should tell them Nat."

"I know."

"I can come with you if you want? Try and keep you relaxed."

"Have you been reading Henry's pregnancy books?" Natalie laughed but it died off pretty quickly. "You keep checking your phone, is everything okay?"

"What? Oh yeah, it's fine."

"Connor."

"I just…wanted to check on Sarah, she hasn't texted me back." Ava glared at the door. How come that new girl got his attention and she didn't? "Her Step-dad is back and it all sounds messy…"

"You really like her, don't you?" Natalie's voice softened and Ava's glare only increased.

"She's great but don't start that Natalie."

"Start what?"

"Trying to fix us up or something."

"So you don't _like_ her then?"

"I didn't say that." He argued.

"So you do like her! I think she's sweet, you two would be good together, she's definitely different than your regular type."

"I have a type?"

"Yeah, the Ava Bekkers of the world. The ones with too much money and too much ego and pretentiousness. Sarah is a much better option."

"Ava's not…I mean Sarah is…whatever Nat, don't try and change the subject. You'll tell them?"

"I'll tell them tonight, before I chicken out, after dinner."

Ava didn't wait around to be caught when Connor and Natalie started moving around.

 _How could he not defend her?_

 _And how dare Natalie insinuate that she wasn't good for Connor!_

Natalie Manning hadn't heard the last of her.

She turned on her heel and started back down the stairs.

"That was a quick visit." Katie quipped from where she was pushing Elizabeth in her wheelchair into the living room.

"Natalie Manning is there." She said, "Three's a crowd. Hi Elizabeth. I hope you can make it to Mom's fundraiser next week. She'd love to see you there. She says she misses you on the committee. She had to ask Cynthia Krane to help, not ideal, but I'm sure you understand that." She laughed in the polite tone she had been taught.

"well, wish her the best, but I don't think I'll be attending." Elizabeth said. "How are things with you Ava?"

"Good thank you. Daddy said we should get together soon for dinner. Which would be good because I hardly ever see Connor anymore." Ava dropped Connor's name in hopes that his mother would push him in the right direction. Towards her. No matter what Natalie Manning thought.

"Well he's been busy lately, studying a lot more, do you not see him in school?"

Ava felt her cheeks redden, after Connor had been transferred to Gaffney and she threw a fit to end all tantrums, her parents had relented and let her move too. Nobody had questioned her. Except for Elizabeth. And she had the feeling that she didn't quite approve.

But Ava would win her around. Her Daddy always said she was his princess and could charm anyone.

"Not as much as I'd like, he's always talking to other people."

"Maybe making new friends is a good thing."

"Well he shouldn't forget where he comes from. No matter how much he pretends, he's a Rhodes. He can't seriously expect for these middle class high school kids to be a part of his life at the helm of the Dolan Rhodes legacy."

"I'll be sure to mention it to him." Elizabeth said. "If you'll excuse me."

The woman looked like she was about to fall asleep so Ava took her own leave.

She had a party to attend.

* * *

"I don't know what to wear!" Emily exclaimed as she fell onto Sarah's bed with a huff. Sarah looked up from the ground where she was stitching on the Hogwarts crest to her cardigan. Her Mom hadn't been all too happy she was going to a party, let alone a Hallowe'en party so asking for money for a costume was out of the question.

Instead she methodically went through organising a Hermione Granger costume for the two hours that Emily had been there indecisively swarming through the suitcase of clothes and costumes she had brought.

Emily had been over the moon when Sarah had caught her after school to ask if she wanted to come over to her house to get ready for the Halloween party that Henry was throwing at Molly's. Henry had seemed to invite everyone and for once Sarah wanted to go out. She wanted to get out of the pressure cooker her house had become.

Emily was her usually endless ball of energy, catching Sarah up in all the newest gossip. But she was opening up more. Sarah was finally beginning to realise that Emily's 'couldn't care less' attitude was more of a defence mechanism that an actually personality trait. She mentioned that she wasn't doing too well in Chem so Sarah suggested they get a study group together.

She also didn't even blink when Jason had a meltdown while they were having dinner. James was affecting everybody.

"Does it matter that much?" Sarah asked.

"Yes!" Emily declared. "It's just…it's just that nobody really notices me anymore you know? I'm just Emily Choi, sort of wild child. What if that's not all I want to be?" She asked softly.

"Then you should be who you want to be." Sarah said. "At my old school, there was this guy…and I used to dumb myself down for him, pretend I didn't understand things just so he'd pay attention to me and help me and well it was all a lie. The best thing about this move was that I can be smart because that's who I am and nobody cares." The difference between Joey belittling her and Connor being amazed at her smarts never failed to surprise Sarah.

"it's just hard to reinvent myself when, as Ethan says, I'm always looking for attention." She sighed.

"We'll find you something." Sarah promised, and they did, after another half and hour of humming and hawing they decided that Emily should dress up as a girl from the 1930's with a sparkly flapper dress that suited her short hair, paired with a pair of shoes that Sarah owned.

A sparkly deep blue dress that was made to draw attention and show that she could be grown up too.

"Hermione Granger?" Emily asked as Sarah put the cardigan with Hogwarts crest over one of her Mom's white blouses and a black skirt she owned, along with a toy wand of Jason's.

"I like books." Sarah shrugged.

"And tonight will be magical, especially if Connor turns up." Emily grinned and giggled.

* * *

Molly's was filled with teenage monsters, movie characters and an assortment of comical beings.

"Hey." Connor said when he caught sight of them arriving, Emily nearly fainted. He was dressed up as Danny Zuko from Grease with his signature leather jacket. "Happy Halloween."

"Thanks, you too." Emily gushed.

"Hermione Granger and an actress from 1930s,right?" he asked glancing between them.

"Yep." Sarah said, trying not to make eye contact too much. She had, somehow, managed to avoid being alone with Connor since the non-event on her front steps. Even their study session had taken place with Elizabeth in the room. And she intended to continue her record. She didn't want him to send him mixed signals about that almost kiss. They were just friends.

"Hey Sarah, can I have a word?" He asked after they had gotten drinks.

Emily grinned like a cheshire cat, "Oh look there's Jay, oh my gosh he's dressed as a cop, I have to go say hi." Emily disappeared before Sarah had a chance to answer.

"I just wanted to…I mean I haven't really gotten to talk to you…"

"I've had a lot going on."

"I know! I wasn't trying to…I mean I didn't mean to diminish that…" He rambled. "I just mean I wanted to talk to you alone. I wanted to clear up about that night after my birthday."

His phone buzzed and so did hers.

"sorry I have to get this." Sarah reached for her phone, expecting to see a call from her Mom but instead seeing a message from an unknown number.

 ** _Natalie Manning isn't so perfect. Sixteen and pregnant, doesn't look so good huh?_**

"What?" She wondered aloud. But then she heard the murmurings around her. Someone turned off the music. Another person slammed the door on their way out and Sarah caught a flash of red passed the window. Jay quickly followed.

"Is it true?"

"Natalie is pregnant?"

"Who's the father?"

"Who the hell let this out?" Henry appeared by Connor's side.

"I don't know. Who else knew?" Connor said.

"I don't know, I thought it was just me and you?"

"She's supposed to tell her parents tonight but that's all."

"What about Jeff?"

Connor didn't know what had happened. He just prayed for Nat's parents to have taken away her phone after she'd told them about the baby.

She didn't need to see this. Mostly, she didn't deserve it.

"I have to go." Connor told the others.

"I'll come with you." Henry announced.

Connor was quick to put him off. "No, you have to take care of things here, your dad would kill us if something happened to the diner. I'll be fine. Do you have someone to drive you home?" Connor turned to Sarah.

"Y..yeah, Emily…"

"Okay, good, I'm sorry I have to.." he moved over to the door and past everyone as he went.

Sarah watched him storm off. "Hey, are you okay? Ethan says it's time for us to go."

"Yeah, sure." She'd be spending the night at Emily's, although at this point it was still pretty early and she was certain the wise thing to do was go home.

But she gave it another thought, she'd gone to the party to get away from it all, away from the circus her life had turned out to be after James's return.

Jason had had the hardest time adjusting and his father had resented it. He'd not given another look to that Optimus Prime toy he'd gotten him and earlier in the day when he'd wanted to take the little boy trick or treating, he'd just hidden away with his mom.

James had not been happy, he was reverting to wanting Jason to be 'normal', when it was clear he struggled.

"You're worried about him, aren't you?· Emily asked as they drove home. Ethan was in the front. Sarah didn't want to admit it, but she was, there was no way, as it seemed he and Henry had been the only ones who knew about Natalie not that they'd tell anyone.

She'd learned that firsthand.

"You two shouldn't be priving." Ethan told them. "Please promise me you won't, Natalie will be dealing with a lot already…"

Emily sighed. "No, we just want to know if she's okay….There was no way Connor or Henry told anyone, did you know?"

Ethan waved his head.

* * *

"Connor, right now is not a good time." Carol said as soon as he saw the boy. He'd been trying to call her, he hadn't dare texting her. But she had not picked up.

"Please, I need to talk to Natalie…" She saw the helplessness in his eyes and allowed him to come in.

The house was empty. The kids were either in bed or out trick or treating. Maybe only Carol had remained behind with her daughter.

Natalie stood by the frame of her door, as soon as she saw Connor, her eyes filled with tears.

"Nat…"

"They sent it to me too… thank goodness Nate is too young to have a phone yet, because…"

"Hey, no…." Natalie's hormones were crazy, so much she threw the door at him but he stopped it. "We would never do that you, not even Henry and his lose mouth."

"I know you didn't do it, idiot, the question is, who did? The only other person who knew was April and she already called me crying, she wouldn't either…"

Natalie then broke down and Connor caught her just in time. "Jeff... please tell me he didn't…"

No, that wouldn't be possible, he'd be caught in the middle too, no matter how shocked or pissed he was, and how hard it was for Connor to admit it, this had to be someone else.

 _But who?_

He stayed with Natalie until Lou arrived back with the kids and asked Connor to go home.

As he drove, his mind was racing a mile an hour. Katie was waiting up for him.

"Hey, back so soon? How was the party?" Connor didn't answer her and she instantly knew there was something wrong. "What?" She glanced at his face, praying he hadn't gotten in another fight. "Connor, sweetheart, what happened?"

So, he told Katie, no point in hiding it now. The woman stared at him after. "Who would do such a thing?"

Connor shrugged.

"Wait…" He looked up. "That girl Ava, was here earlier, I was going to go find you and she went off on her own… You were up in your room with Natalie and after a minute she came back, looking more annoying than usual…"

 _Had Ava heard him and Nat talking? Had he been the reason the secret had gotten out?_

 _Was he to blame for the pain Natalie and her parents would have to endure?_

Connor couldn't fight anymore, alone in his room, he cried. He couldn't believe he'd done it again and caused pain for someone else.

* * *

Sarah couldn't stop thinking about what had happened the night before, when she got home midday Sunday, she found James, her mother and Jason all there. "Sarah?"

"Yeah buddy?" Jason asked as they sat in the living room, her mother and James were in the kitchen, no yelling yet as it turned out.

"When are we going for Connor's present? You said we would."

Crap, she'd forgotten about that.

"Ah, have you thought about what you want to give him?" She asked. Jason remained thoughtful.

"Yeah, can we go to get it now?"

"Get what now?" James asked. Jason sank down on the couch.

"Connor's present…" He mumbled.

"That boy from the other night?" James directed his question to Sarah.

"He's my friend." Jason said. "And Sarah's, we can get him a present can't we Mommy?"

Susan joined in a moment later. "Why don't you make him something Jason, I'm sure he'll like that best than anything you buy him. How does that sound?"

"Will you help me?" He turned to his sister.

"Yeah, we can go do it now if you want." Jason took a hold of his toy and followed Sarah upstairs.

"What's the deal with that boy anyway?" Sarah heard James ask Susan. "He has a car, did you know that? Please tell me you don't let our children be driven by a 16 year old."

"He's a decent boy and he genuinely cares about Jason and Sarah…"

"He cared about Sarah alright, If I hadn't interrupted the other night…"

"You what?"

"She's fourteen…"

Sarah sighed. So much for keeping Connor out of her mind.

* * *

 **Hell broke loose on Nat! And Rheese still hasn't had a chance to talk about their almost kiss! We'll see each other next Saturday guys, loving the support! Keep it coming :)**


	14. Chapter 14

_**Holding On**_

 **Chapter Fourteen**

Henry Herrmann saw a lot of customers come and go through his Dad's diner over the years. But that Monday afternoon he saw someone he hadn't seen in over a year. She was probably home for the Holidays.

"Well if it isn't Miss Claire Elizabeth Rhodes." He grinned as she snuck her way up to the counter, flicking her hair around her face to act as a barrier.

"Hey Little Henry Herrmann." It looked like she was trying to smile but it came out a little bit like she was in some sort of pain.

He groaned, "Can we stop with the nickname already? I've grown up!" He laughed.

"Well you still call me by my full name." She joked. "You were the cutest little baby, did you know that?

"You don't even remember me like that you're only 3 years older than me." Henry pointed out. With Elizabeth's desire to give her kids a normal childhood away from the social expectations of being a Rhodes, came a lot of time hanging out at the diner, heck Henry grew up knowing Claire and Connor longer than his own siblings.

"It's good to see you Henry." She said with tired eyes. Truth be told, the girl sitting in front of him could be a stranger. She had gotten in with the wrong crowd in school, constantly vied to distract her father's attention from Connor towards her. She boomeranged from being the perfect daughter to being the rebel child, all in the hopes that Cornelius would notice that he had another child apart from the son he wanted to groom into being his successor in the business.

She just looked so haunted and worn out.

"It's good to see you too Claire." She sniffed,

 _Was she crying?_

"Only you would say that Henry."

He was at a loss of what to say. He had watched her self-destruct at seventeen, watched her crack under academic pressure in senior year, watched her pick the Rhodes' lifestyle over everything else, again and again.

"What would you do if everything you believed in turned out to be a lie?"

She asked him, her eyes desperate for answers. Her gaze making him block out the rest of the room.

He didn't know why she was asking him. He was just Henry. Reliable but forgettable Henry. He didn't question things, he just went with the flow. What his parents needed him to do. Minding his siblings, school, work, play for the hockey team, sleep.

"Are you okay Claire?"

She nodded her head but he remained unconvinced.

"Just don't tell Connor I've been around. Or are you two still like little girls who tell each other everything?" There was the spunky Claire Rhodes he knew. And loved

He smiled, "I won't tell him."

"Thanks Henry. I'd say I'd see you around, but like Connor says, I'm not very good at keeping my promises." She said as she stood and made her way back towards the door. Henry wondered what she'd meant. He loved Connor, but sometimes he didn't even try to understand his sister.

Not that he'd ever admitted it to him.

Henry would have believed the entire encounter was a dream if his Dad hadn't come out from the back, swatted him on the head and asked him why he was staring at the door as he caught a final glimpse of Claire, with her long glowing hair flicker past one of the windows.

* * *

Sarah caught a glance at a certain junior as she got out of James's car the days before Thanksgiving break. No more bus, which she was sad about. It had honestly been the best thing to happen to Jason but his father insisted he was there so he'd take care of them properly, which also meant they didn't frequent Molly's much either but her mother had said they had to compromise to make things better with James, also, she and Connor barely talked, they both seemed to have been avoiding the big elephant in the room.

That non existent kiss, even the meetups at his house were purely focused on school and there always someone else in the room and seemed to happen less and less now.

She wouldn't dare to be alone with him, just in case he brought it up, she was even glad Jason's usal butt in which didn't leave room for them to be on their own.

Connor watched as Sarah and Jason got out of their dad's car.

He believed James not to be such a bad guy, especially compared to his narcissistic father, he genuinely seemed to care for the both of them. He smiled as soon as Sarah looked his his way, but she just turned away.

Right, he'd gone up and ruined everything again

"So, did you you study for Downey's quiz?" Henry asked as they both stood by the lockers.

Yep he and Sarah had, even in their awkwardness, they'd managed to keep going on tutoring. Even though Sarah seemed to want to run away at the end, making the situation so obvious even his mom had asked him what was wrong.

 _"If you like her, then you should be honest with her…" Elizabeth had told him._

Connor sighed and slammed his locker door, making a small piece of paper sneak out and fall

" _For you…" Jason had said earlier that day at school. Sarah smiled at her brother._

 _"What's this?" Connor inquired taking the small card from him. It already been a few days since his birthday but Sarah would later admit to him Jason had changed his mind on the gift many times until he'd been happy with it. He almost didn't give it to him but Sarah had insisted._

 _"Your birthday, Mom told me I couldn't be at your party like Sarah because you are big… but you are my friend."_

 _Connor smiled kindly. "Thanks buddy."_

 _Jason nodded, eyeing Connor as he opened the card. It read Happy Birthday Connor in messy handwriting but what caught his attention were the drawings beneath it._

 _Transformers themed. "You made this?" Connor asked._

 _Jason nodded again. "Sarah helped too, it's from both of us."_

 _His sister avoided Connor's gaze. "Well, thank you too Sarah."_

 _"Sure." She responded._

 _"Gotta go now, Mary won't like it that I'm late." Jason said after a silence had settled between them._

 _"Right, thanks again bud, I really like my gift."_

 _Jason bit his lip as Sarah glanced Connor's way, walking away to her brother's building._

"What's that?" Henry asked.

"Nothing…"

"Jason Reese. That kid really likes you." Henry said smiling. "My mom says it's hard for Jason to connect but when he does, that's like kind of a big deal."

"I like him too, he's a great kid." Connor put in.

"Like, you like Sarah?" Henry's tone changed making Connor glare at him.

"You are worst than Natalie."

"Hey, I wasn't the who almost kissed the girl who by the way, seemed to notice which just makes it worse because you're too much of a coward to own that up and tell her how you feel."

"I don't even know what that was...Sarah has a lot going on, she doesn't need me to make it more of a mess as I'm known of doing."

Henry's gaze softened. "You do know Nat doesn't blame you for what happened?"

"She should, I was the one that pissed Ava off."

"Well, she kept telling people you two were meant to be, or together or whatever, which if you ask me is just a rich kid thing. It had to stop at some point."

Connor sighed. "And you might be rich man, but you're nothing like her and Nat knows that."

He was no longer listening to him. Connor had spotted Sarah with her friends, he glanced down at Jason's card and walked over. "Where are you going?"

"Connor!" It was Ava. She still dared to talk to him after what she'd done. He'd confronted her and she of course had not admitted to it but was unusually sweet to him in the following days so he knew the truth.

"Sorry, I need to go, what do you want?"

"Just to say hi, we've barely talked…"

"Why do you think that is?" Connor told her patiently.

"You're still into that? Why even know and tell people about Natalie? I want us to be like we used to Connor, not have you pull away from me."

"What's that about?" Monique glanced over at Connor and Ava. Sarah's eyes followed her. "You know the rumors, right? That Ava was the one who told everyone about Natalie?"

Oh, they all knew. Jay had been front and center on his brother's reaction to it, he had to stay up with him the night of the party so Will wouldn't do anything stupid.

"Let's go guys, we'll be late for class." Jay told the girls, Emily and Sarah followed the others but Reese couldn't help but glance back at Connor as she went.

"Talk to him." Emily hissed as they walked.

"What?"

"Don't you think I don't know what's going on in that head of yours." Her friend said.

"No…"

"You're miserable without each other, girl you might be confused but if Connor Rhodes seemed to liked me…"

"You talk to him then." She said frustrated, Emily smiled. She was just about to go do that.

"Okay, if you insist…" She took a step back.

"What, no!" Sarah shouted, alerting the other kids. "Emily, please…"

"Fine but I'm telling you, being honest with each other won't kill you…"

 _It might kill her, Sarah thought_.

* * *

Tuesday was finally here and Sarah could breathe again. She was glad to be heading to Michigan, even if it meant to see her family, she could get away from Chicago for a while.

Away from avoiding Connor.

"Sarah, wait up!" Jay caught up with her as she left her last class of the day, she'd been worried about Jason who had a birthday party that evening, one Mary would take him to and James would drive back from. He had insisted it would be good for him.

It made her anxious really, to have her brother have a social event, even if it was a good thing for him to make friends.

"Hey." Sarah smiled. She told him she was on her way to the bus as her ride was otherwise busy.

James had insisted he had to care for some kind of last minute thing at work and Jason would be going to his party so he wasn't worried about her taking the bus.

She and Jay walked over as Emily and Monique joined them. "What's everyone doing over the beak?" Emily started up the conversation.

"I'm helping Will with the car, he finally got enough money to pay for the new valve."

"My mom is making me help her cook, she says I might learn something." Monique put in.

"Going to Michigan tomorrow morning, so it's packing for me."

"Sarah?" A familiar voice said behind them.

"We'll see you inside, huh?" Emily told Reese, tugging on her friends as they walked towards the bus.

Jay couldn't help but glare back.

"Hey." She told Connor softly. He wore his hair a bit shorter now and his winter jacket had replaced the leather one as December rolled around the corner.

"You stormed out after math, is everything okay?" He asked, a tone of worry in his voice.

Sarah bit her lip. "Yeah, Jason is going to a birthday party…"

Connor smiled. "Oh yeah, the kid who loves dinosaurs, right?"

 _How did he know that?_

Sarah nodded. "Yeah so I just wanted to make sure he was okay to go."

He smiled at her again. "Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be fine." The kids on the bus were starting to climb up. "Danny is a good kid, just ask the Hermanns….Is Mary taking him or…"

"Yeah, she is…" Sarah looked over at Jay who stood at a step calling for her. "I have to go…"

"Actually….I was wondering if you wanted me to give you a ride?" He offered making her stop cold.

He'd finally manned up enough to talk to her. "I know we haven't gotten the chance to talk with everything that's been going on."

Sarah held her breath.

 _Alone, in a closed space with Connor?_

 _Someone help her_.

"Yeah things have been a bit busy with everything at home." She admitted.

"Same here, with helping Nat out."

Natalie hadn't been to school in three weeks, she'd heard from gossip that her parents had come to an agreement with Mr. Charles and Principal Goodwin to make sure she kept on going with her classes from home. Rumors said she'd come back eventually as the scandal wore off, others said she was too sick

Sarah had seen Natalie before she'd found out she was pregnant and she'd read people could be so ill from morning sickness, they could barely get up from bed.

"I don't want to trouble you or anything…" He said, scratching his head. "But I thought we could.."

"No. You're not troubling me…" She said rather quickly.

"Well that's good to hear." He offered her a small smile. "I've missed talking to you."

She could feel the blush rising in her cheeks, "So have I…."

"So I can give you a ride?" He sounded desperately hopeful and when he looked at her like that, how could she say no?

"Yeah, okay."

"Okay." He nodded and he turned in the direction of his car and she fell into step beside him after she'd sent her friends a few glances and Emily had had to pull Jay inside so the bus could leave.

* * *

"So, how is Nat doing?" She decided the longer she could keep the topic of conversation off of them the better.

He sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets, "Not great, to be honest. Everything just makes her sick and the whole mess with Ava just makes it worse. If her parents weren't upset enough, now they're worried about sending her back to school…"

So the rumours were true, it was Ava who'd been behind it. Sarah didn't comment on that fact, not when she could tell how much it was a thorn in Connor's side.

"It's horrible, she's so nice to me, she doesn't deserve all this hassle."

He opened the door of his car for her, honestly, if the conversation wasn't so serious Sarah would have swooned.

"Yeah she's terrified of what people will say, but I think she wants to come back to school, have things as normal as possible while she still can, when she's feeling better."

"That's understandable. But we're in high school, I'm sure there will be some new scandal over Thanksgiving break and everybody will forget about it and move onto something else, Can you tell her I was asking about her? I know what's it like to be alone, I wouldn't want her to feel like that."

"I definitely will." He said starting up the car. There was no music this time.

They pulled out of the parking lot and Sarah was quickly growing uncomfortable.

"So…" He cleared his throat. "I actually wanted to talk to you alone, we haven't really been allowed to."

Nope, she'd made sure of that.

"Honestly, don't like this awkwardness between us."

"What awkwardness?" She feigned innocence. The last thing she wanted was going to happen. She had thought about it a lot for the past few weeks when she couldn't sleep at night. He was going to apologise for trying to kiss her, tell her that he didn't mean for it to happen...not ever, that she had imagined it all and that she was making him uncomfortable. The list of bad case scenarios that her mind could come up with seemed pretty endless.

"Sarah…"

"Okay, yeah, things are awkward."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cross a line with you that night. If I overstepped or anything, or assumed things, I'm sorry. I know we haven't known each other for long and…"

So she hadn't imagined it, still he was apologizing about it, so…

"It's fine." She cut him off, suddenly finding the scenery outside her window very captivating.

"I just wanted you to know that I meant it." He sighed as if it took a lot for him to say it.

"Meant what?" She asked as he pulled up at her house.

"To kiss you."

 _Her heart gave a lurch, what on earth was she supposed to say to that?_

"Oh."

"And I'm sorry if I read everything wrong. I really, really, don't want to ruin our friendship. It's just… You fascinated me from the first day I met you. I mean you give so much of yourself to others, all you do with Jason is great and you're amazing with him. Actually, you're just amazing, ridiculously smart and beautiful, and you keep everything real, like you don't just talk to me, you actually listen and…"

She stared at him with wide eyes.

 _Was she dreaming?_

"I just wanted to tell you and lay my cards on the table, but If you don't feel the same or anything, I promise this won't affect us. If you'll have me as just your friend I can live with that."

Her voice had seemed to stop working.

"So Yeah, I just wanted to be honest with you."

"Thanks." She said, her voice broken and raspy.

"Okay." He swallowed hard and seemed very interested in his steering wheel.

She didn't mean to just sit there and stare at him but she had a lot to process. Nobody had ever been this honest with her, nobody had ever told her they liked her before.

Nobody had called her beautiful.

"So...Do you have any plans for Thanksgiving?" He asked, plastering his face with a fake smile.

"Ugh…I'm going to see family, back home, in Michigan."

"Oh that sounds great. Hope you have a nice time." He nodded, with a pained expression. "I…eh…I better get going."

"Right, yeah, sorry." She mumbled, unbuckling her seatbelt and getting out his car. She was halfway to her door before it all seemed to hit her.

 _Connor Rhodes liked her._

 _He had wanted to kiss her._

 _And he just laid his heart out to her._

"Connor!" She spun on the spot and rushed back to the car.

"Yeah…. is everything okay?" He asked as he killed the engine.

"Yeah. No. I mean…" she rounded the car to his side.

And for the first time since Jason had been born, she didn't overthink her actions. She just went with what she felt.

He had wound down his window, so she leaned in and pressed her lips to his briefly but enough to make her world spin.

He looked as surprised as she did when she straightened up and opened her eyes.

"Please tell me I didn't just imagine that…" he whispered shyly as he looked at her with those blue eyes.

"I hope not…"

"Sarah." James called from the door of her house. Connor froze and Sarah prayed her stepdad had not seen what had just happened.

She and Connor shared a glance, she didn't think either of them could say more right now.

As she walked back, she couldn't help but feel like she'd just made the best decision, one that didn't require for her to follow her head but her heart.

* * *

 **Finally! Those two kissed and Sarah took the first step, what did you think? Sound off in the comments and thanks for reading!**

 **Angst is coming even though Rheese is making progress!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

"Sarah, sweetheart, did you hear me?" Susan called. It was the second day in Michigan. They were staying at her old home, at her grandmother's, who hadn't approved of Susan getting a divorce for the second time and suddenly deciding to take a new job and moving her kids to Chicago, but mostly kept her critique to herself, she'd wanted to not being kept from her grandchildren.

"I asked you to set the table." Susan sighed. "Where's your head honestly?"

Sarah groaned, getting up from the couch and doing what she was told.

Her head, well, she was pretty sure was still spinning from that kiss.

She couldn't believe she'd kissed Connor Rhodes.

She'd kissed him and not the other way around, she'd taken the first step and she hadn't been afraid.

"Go on ahead Sarah, I can do it." Her grandmother smiled. Juliet was probably the person in her family Sarah liked the most. Plus, she was the eldest grandchild so she'd been first to everything, including to having a special relationship with her.

"Why don't you go check on Jason?"

He'd probably be on his tablet, which his mother had allowed him to use while they were done making breakfast

It was Thursday so her entire family would be over in less than 12 hours.

Sarah made her way upstairs. She'd promised to call Connor as soon as she woke up but her mom had kept her busy.

"Jason?"

"I have ten more minutes." He said to her. "Mom said I have until breakfast is ready."

He didn't look up. Sarah smiled, leaving him be and moving over to her old room, smiling at her phone. _Three more days._

Read a text from Connor.

Honestly, a part of her couldn't wait to see him, while the other was utterly terrified. She was the new girl who'd crushed dozens of girl's hopes.

Including Ava Bekker's. Drama queen and exclusive export.

She'd kill her.

"Hey."

"Hi." Sarah said into the phone, a small smile playing on her mouth as she saw Connor's name on the screen.

"So, my father is making it home in time or so he says." Connor added in. "He's been here all week but We've barely seen him. Safe to say Katie's going all out and Claire just keeps sneaking out to god knows where."

"My whole family is coming over." She told him, trying to shift the conversation from his father which she knew was a touchy subject for him. "5 aunts, uncles and a dozen of annoying little cousins."

"Wish you were here." Connor said.

"I wish _you_ were…" Sarah admitted.

"I'll could come over Sunday, I mean if you want…"

She felt her stomach flutter. "Sounds good, I'm praying James won't be there, I don't even know what he's doing at the house so much…the worst part is my mother is letting him stick around."

"He cares Sarah." Connor told her.

"Or he's gathering evidence to take Jason away." Sarah sighed, his outburst still made her so mad and she knew he was capable of going through with it.

"I'm sorry.." she huffed.

"Don't be."

"Sarah? Breakfast!" She heard her mom call.

"I gotta go."

"Alright, I'll see you soon okay?" Connor said sweetly. "Sarah? It will be alright."

"I hope so…"

Sarah!" She said her goodbyes and hung up, hurrying downstairs.

"Didn't you hear me?"

"Sorry I was…"

"Let the girl be Susan, she's on vacation." Juliet scolded her daughter.

She sat down beside Jason as her phone buzzed.

"Is it Connor again?" Jason asked, making his sister freeze.

"Oh, you two are back to talking?" Her mother asked, so yeah James hadn't seen the kiss happening, if he had, Susan would have probably heard about it and she wouldn't hear the end of it.

"Who's Connor?" Her grandma piped in.

"Sarah's Mary, but she was mad at him and he wouldn't come over to watch Transformers anymore."

Jason explained before Sarah could. "But he's been texting her."

"Ohh." Juliet gazed at Sarah who blushed.

"Really?" Her mother asked. "Well, like I said, he seems like a good boy."

There was suddenly a knock on the door. Sarah figured her family would begin to barge in at any minute.

"Joey, what a nice surprise."

Sarah almost choked on her food when her grandmother's voice carried to the kitchen.

"Oh hi Mrs. Reese, how are you?"

"I'm good, thank you, have you come to see Sarah? She's just finishing up her breakfast."

"Oh sorry, I didn't realize it was that early…"

"It doesn't matter honey, come in." Sarah hadn't seen Joey in months, they'd barely talked. "Sarah? Joey is here."

* * *

Connor glanced at his phone after his last text to Sarah. He was late, he'd promised Nat to come over for a little while before his father got home.

"Connor, honey come in. Happy Thanksgiving."

"You too." He smiled at Carol.

"Go on ahead, Nat is in her room…" He could tell Carol's tone was one of tiredness, he couldn't imagine her having to deal with the fact that her child was pregnant and her grandkid would be younger than her own son.

"Connor!" Lily giggled as soon as she saw him fully dressed in her Elsa attire. She'd been going through a Disney Princesses phase for a while now. "Connor, can you be my Prince Charming? Nate won't play with me…" She pouted.

"But I thought Elsa didn't have a prince?" Connor smiled.

"Oh, yeah, but Anna has Kristoff, does he count as a prince?"

Connor bit his lip. "I'm not sure…"

"Lily, leave Connor alone." Natalie called from the back room. Lily bit her lip.

"I'll come over in a little while and we can check out whether or not Kristoff counts as a prince, okay?" He whispered to the little girl.

"You shouldn't encourage her." Natalie told him as he entered her room.

"Oh come on. I love playing Princesses…"

"Sure you do…" She sat on her bed as Connor joined her.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like there's a baby growing inside me…" Natalie groaned. "But Mom says I'll be able to go back to school on Monday…"

"Do you want to?"

"What choice do I have? I'd already ruined Thanksgiving by clustering everyone here, not to mention my parents reputation,It's my punishment and I accept it."

"Nat, you know it isn't like that right?" Connor mustered softly. "Your parents love you."

"Of course it is, I'm a walking cliché and Jeff's ignoring me…"

"What?"

"Yeah, he says he wants time to process everything..." Connor's blood boiled. "Well, I'm pretty sure not even I have managed to do that, and I'm the one having it…"

Connor's phone buzzed, he hadn't mean to smile but Natalie noticed. "Oh, we're done talking about me, great, what's with that face?"

"Eh, what? Nothing…" Even pregnant, Natalie was faster and managed to get a glance of his text.

"Sarah? As in, Sarah Reese, sophomore, former buddy, Sarah?" Connor rolled his eyes at her. "Oh… wait you finally told her?" She smacked his arm. "Why didn't you say anything?!"

"I just, everything happened pretty fast…"

"So fast you couldn't tell me, your best friend? I'm hurt."

"You had a lot going on, I didn't want…"

"Oh no, don't use my poor judgement for your pity party and tell me already, did you try and kiss her again?"

"No, actually, she kissed me…" Connor said shyly, remembering how it all had gone down.

"I knew I liked Sarah for a reason!" Nat squealed. "And…"

"And break happened, we've just texted and called each other for the past few days."

"No, I mean, and now, are you guys official?" Connor hadn't seen Natalie this happy in weeks. He'd take anything to see her smile again.

"I'm not sure, but I'm willing to try and see how it goes…"

"Oh my God, yes! This is the best news, I'm happy for you Connor…"

"Thanks, but don't say anything to Sarah, I don't want to freak her out…."

"Of course, I won't." She beamed. "But yay, you deserve to have someone like her in your life, this is a good thing, right?"

 _Yep it was, and not even seeing his father later that day could spoil it._

* * *

"Joey…" She stated, then under a glare from her mother added, "Hi, how…how are you?" She could feel Jason tensing up beside her.

"I'm good thanks. And you? How did the move go?" _He would have known if he had called,_ she thought to herself.

"Fine. It…it was okay."

"Sarah has new friends. Like Connor and Jay." Jason told Joey. He eyed her carefully.

"Yes, but I'm sure she'd like time to catch up with old friends huh? C'mon Sweetie, let's get you cleaned up. You then can have your tablet for a little while."

Susan beckoned for Jason to follow her out of the room. Her grandmother somehow disappeared too and Joey took a seat at the table across from her.

"I heard you were coming back for Thanksgiving. I hope you don't mind me coming over."

"I don't mind." She said, "How's things in school?"

"Great actually, I'm being put forward for that regional science competition that we applied for last year, remember?"

How could she forget? they had been partners, and even though their project hadn't been accepted, she had come out of the experience with a guy she thought liked her back.

She still wasn't sure that he actually had.

They've been friends, and he had bought her a birthday present but then she had found him out and about with other girls and she was never quite sure where they stood.

Hence the tears Jason had seen her crying after he hadn't invited her to the end of year dance. But then he had taken her out for hot chocolate the week after, complaining about how frivolous dances were when they could be spending the time studying. And she had believed him.

"I remember." She nodded, "That's great Joey."

"Yeah I think I can go places with it, there will be this event for the next round, great networking connections and seminars on different areas to progress to after school. You know how it is. Nobody plans for after high school, we have to get ahead."

She had thought that last year, but now?

She was quite enjoying the high school experience.

Sarah just nodded, there was no point in saying it, Joey loved a good argument about lack of drive and ambition and people who slacked off. "Sounds good."

"I actually wanted to ask you, well more let you know, I'm going with Zoe Kane, you remember her? She's a senior, planning on attending Harvard next year."

"Really? Good for her. Why are you telling me this?"

"It's just I wanted you to hear it from me."

"Hear what from you? That you're going to an event?"

"That I have a new girlfriend."

Joey had actually gone ahead and made a jump to being a junior this year. He'd certainly looked the part if only by his height, even at 15 he still had a baby face.

"Okay…"

"I just regretted how we ended things and I wanted you to know."

"We?" She sat back in her chair. "We were a thing?"

"Of course." He stated, "We were great together."

"Uh huh." She nodded while being completely bewildered.

"Anyway, so I just came around to see if you wanted your things back, seeing as we're no longer together." When did they end? He had just left her hanging and never even called her when she had gotten into her car that day and left home.

"What things?"

"You know, the notes we made, that Rubix cube you got me for my birthday…"

She shrugged, it felt nice actually, to realise that she didn't really care anymore. Unbeknownst to herself she had moved on, and moved her life to Chicago.

She fitted in there more than she ever would have fitted in here. Fitted with Jay and Emily and Connor.

"It's just stuff Joey, you can keep it, it was a present."

"Okay. So no hard feelings then right?" He smiled as he stood up.

"None Joey." And it felt nice to say so, to be able to let go.

"Good well, hopefully I'll see you in Yale in a few years like our plan then?" He gave her a hesitant handshake. "I'd give you a kiss but…"

If this was what she thought a relationship had been last year, academics and handshakes, then she wondered what she would have thought if she had known about how Connor could make her feel a year later.

"We'll see. Sometimes plans change, people change, sometimes it's for the best." She said as she walked him to the door. He told her to tell Jason he said goodbye but she wouldn't breathe another word of Joey to Jason, it made him upset to remember her being so sad.

She closed the door behind him and looked at her phone as she made her way back into the kitchen.

 _I'd much prefer if it was you at the door than my father. Wish me luck._

She felt bad that Connor had to spend the holidays with someone he didn't want to.

 _Good luck. I hope you have a not so crappy day. Talk later._

* * *

"Where on earth is that sister of yours?" Katie huffed as she readjusted the china on the table for the fourth time that hour. Connor was sitting in his formal clothes, playing a game of cards with Kelly while his Mom had a snooze in the chair beside him.

"How should I know?" He shrugged, "She doesn't exactly keep me updated on her life."

"Connor, leave your sister alone." His mother murmured, apparently she wasn't asleep.

A car pulled up outside, and Katie rushed to open the door to let Cornelius in. She took his coat and he didn't even so much as look at her. It made Connor's blood boil.

The people their family hired for help were more family to him than his own and _this_ was how his father treated them.

But his Mom brightened up when she saw her husband.

"Hello Darling, how was the office today?" She asked leaning up for him to place an absent minded kiss to her cheek. Oh yes, they'd almost forgotten about him all week, because, well today was the first day they actually got to see him.

 _Connor never wanted that, the worn out love that lost its spark._

 _He never wanted to look at the person he loved with the slight disinterest that his father did._

Cornelius scoffed, "Like we couldn't get anything done. What's with everyone and Holidays? It's our busiest season. We should all be focusing on that."

Connor hid the roll of his eyes, not everyone was a self centered ambitious narcissist, Connor thought.

"Where's Claire?"

"She'll be here soon, she told me she was picking something up for tonight." Elizabeth put in. "Didn't she see you at the office?"

"No. I would have driven her back if I had." Cornelius murmured under his breath. "Claire better watch herself, she's pushing her reputation to the limits, it's about time she slowed down." He said, getting himself a drink from the drinks cart. "So Connor, I hear you're grades are improving, all the better for us huh? Good work son." He clapped Connor's shoulder and Connor did all he could not to grimace.

"Yeah. Thanks." He mumbled.

"Ah that Sarah works wonders then huh?" Kelly smiled as she handed Elizabeth her pills. She hadn't been around much while Sarah and Connor studied but Katie couldn't help but gush over the new girl.

"Sarah?"

"The new girl in his school, remember? She's been helping him study, very clever girl." Elizabeth smiled.

"Uh huh, is she from Chicago? Do we know her?" No, Connor wanted to say, because she's not part of the stupid social scene they had to parade.

"No, she moved from Michigan with her Mom and brother." He said.

"No father?" Cornelius raised his eyebrows, "Did she inherit anything?"

"I don't know much about her dad, she doesn't talk about him and I don't ask."

Sarah had enough going on without him prying into things about her biological father. He'd already risked overstepping and screwing up everything.

"Connor how many times do I have to tell you to check up on who you hang out with? Sounds to me like she's just after your money."

Connor could feel his temper flare, his father knew _nothing_ about Sarah.

"What about Ava Bekker, can't she help you study? She's more trustworthy and we know her. This Sarah is an unknown, we don't need anymore surprises, I have enough work keeping your sister from completely tarnishing her reputation." He rambled on and Connor was just focusing on breathing calmly.

"I'm not friends with Ava anymore Dad." Connor gritted out through his teeth.

"Well why on earth not? Is this the self-righteous crap again about not _liking_ her? We've been over this Connor, you need to keep Ava sweet talked and I don't care how you do it, we need the Bekkers on our side."

Connor couldn't listen anymore, he stood up, "Anyone want a soda?" He asked as he left to head for the kitchen for a breather. It was going to be a _long_ weekend.

Later, Cornelius had to take a business call, which nearly made his Mom upset but she needed a nap so Connor got a glorious two hours by himself, away from his father's unwanted opinions.

He was surprised to find Claire in the hallway when he came downstairs in hunt of a snack before dinner. "Hey." He nodded as he passed by.

" _Connor_." He froze on the spot.

Claire hadn't used that tone of voice since the night they had found out about Elizabeth's cancer making a comeback three years before.

Almost the same amount of time he and his sister did nothing but argue.

"What's wrong Claire?" he asked as he turned.

"I'm really sorry…"

Now he was officially freaked out. Claire and him hadn't talked properly in a long time, and she never ever said sorry.

"For what? What's up Claire?"

"I'm just sorry for everything I've done, everything's a mess."

The first thing that crossed his mind was that she must be pregnant like Nat.

"Are you pregnant?" He asked.

She paled, "No! What the hell Connor?" She nearly shouted. Now there was the Claire he knew.

"Well then what is going on? You come here and apologize, aren't you about a few years late for that?"

He had enough of his father's behaviour to deal with, he didn't need Claire's too.

"Well I'm sorry." She gritted out, "you don't get it, you'll never get it. You are Connor, the heir. The one they want to succeed. I'm just the useless daughter. I can't believe I ever looked up to him." She ranted on.

"What?"

"Forget it. How's Mom?"

"She's okay." He shrugged. "She'll be down for dinner soon."

"Right." She nodded as Connor continued his walk to the kitchen. "Connor, what would you do if you had a secret?" She said a moment later.

"Depends on what it was?" _Was his sister in some kind of trouble?_

"It's bad, so bad." She stared at the floor.

He sighed, "I'm sure Dad will sort it out for you, just ask him."

She laughed bitterly, "Yeah, sure." She headed for the stairs.

Connor watched her until she was gone. _What the hell was that? He didn't even know how to react, he and Claire had practically become strangers._

* * *

Claire Rhodes was a woman of contradictions, or that was what people said about her. The academic driven, wild child. The rich girl who grew up around the working class. The eldest child but not the heir to her own fortune. The pretty face with stupid decisions.

But her world was crumbling down around her.

The world she thought she could hide in, the rich, the glamourous, the world of being a Rhodes. Away from her Mom's illness, away from the fact that she would never be as good for anything, mainly because she was a woman in Cornelius's book.

But then there was the moment she had found out about it. Walked straight into his office and saw what she couldn't have unseen.

After it'd happened, she wished it had just been her imagination, but then she remembered seeing the woman earlier that and she hadn't been able to put her mind at ease. And today's all happened to blow up in her face

But she got dressed for dinner anyway, put on a new dress and did up her hair and descended the stairs with all her etiquette training holding her up. If she didn't, she would surely buckle under the dark secret that would tear everything apart.

She sat opposite Connor with her parents at each end like it had been when they were children. If only everything had stayed that way.

Back when everything was uncomplicated.

"So, how is Sarah? Did she get home okay?" Her Mom asked Connor. Claire watched her baby brother stiffen and throw a wary glance to their Dad.

"She's fine. I think she's happy to see her grandmother and being back home."

"Well I'm glad, you should have her over when she gets back."

"Yeah." Connor nodded.

"And not just for studying, how about a movie?" Elizabeth winked.

 _Was her brother blushing?_

"She's a sweet girl." Her Mom carried on.

"What are we setting him up with anybody now?" Cornelius laughed and Claire curled her hand around her fork a little too hard. Was his laugh always that obnoxious?

"If he's dating someone, it's Ava. She's certainly more than willing. He doesn't need to associate with these other people he goes to school with anyway. He has enough with that Manning girl who I heard is pregnant by the way. Her father I thought would have better judgement for his daughter, but with that many children? I doubt they even notice anything."

Connor placed his cutlery down, curling his hand around his napkin. _How he dare insult Natalie and her family?_

"It's good making new friends, no matter where they come from." Elizabeth stated. Claire could sense an argument brewing, she always had been able to. It was the exact moment she would climb out her window.

"He doesn't need friends, he needs connections." Her Dad argued back.

"He's a child Cornelius, he doesn't need to be thinking about business yet."

"Well it's about time he starts, when I was his age I was managing one of our stores."

"Well Connor isn't going to, he's going to enjoy high school."

"What is there to enjoy about it? You think waitressing will make him a man? He should be learning about his family's legacy, not getting mixed up with people like the ones he calls friends."

"What about what Connor wants?" Claire piped up, silencing her parents and earning a surprised glance from her brother who had been curling in on himself.

"How about you two stop arguing over him and start talking to him?" The silence was interrupted by Katie coming in to clear up the desserts.

"Are you alright Ma'am, you look a little pale." Claire looked at her Mom who did look sicker than normal if that was possible. A stab of guilt hit her stomach.

"I think I need to go lie down, if you'll excuse me." Katie called for Kelly and they helped her Mom from the room.

"I'll go check and make sure she's okay." Connor excused himself a second later. Clever boy, getting out from their father.

"She seems to get tired quicker lately." Claire commented, trying not to focus on her being alone with her father.

"She'll be fine." Cornelius said.

"You're never here, how can you know that?"

"She has a good team looking after her, I know, I'm paying for it." He took a drink.

"Maybe if you were actually around it would help." She said. "She misses you."

"What like you? I hear things Claire, I'm not the only one not here." That was a low blow. She had her reasons.

Her temper flared. She had always been better than Connor in controlling her emotions, but it was still there. The Rhodes distinctive trait.

"Well at least I'm not the one cheating." She spat, then wished she could take it back. At least they could pretend it had never happened. Pretend she hadn't walked in on his _girlfriend_ lying half naked on his desk. Until she said the words aloud, they could pretend that he was still the man she looked up to more than anyone.

"Don't go there Claire." He gritted out.

"So you're not even going to try and deny it?" She couldn't stop the tears in her eyes.

"My private life is none of your business."

"Yeah it is when you are sleeping with someone else while my Mom, your wife, is dying!"

"Oh, you get your dramatics from your Mother's side." He had the audacity to roll his eyes. "Give it a rest Claire, you know nothing about marriage."

"I know that you shouldn't be sleeping with someone else. I know that you shouldn't be cheating on Mom!" She stood up in anger.

"You're what?" Connor was in the doorway. Claire recognized that look in her brother's eyes. The one she'd seen 6 years before when she'd had to explain to him that their mother was sick, very sick.

* * *

Sarah dropped her bag beside her bed, they'd taken a very early flight so her mother could prepare a presentation for work.

"Sarah, how about we have lunch at Molly's? Jason wants to go." Her mother peeked in in her room.

Sarah bit her lip. James was yet to return to Chicago so there was no way he'd have something bad to say about the diner. He'd said he liked it when they'd gone with him but he'd rather not have them eating out all the time, she and Jason needed stability.

Sarah sighed. They'd seen James on Friday, in Michigan, her grandmother thankfully hadn't allowed him to come to her dinner.

She had wanted to enjoy her children and grandchildren being together. Juliet wouldn't stand for James's dramatics, much like Sarah couldn't.

She looked at her phone. Connor said he'd be over soon, she'd have to cancel if she wanted to join them at Molly's, it wasn't like she could tell her mother, let alone Jason?

"Or, if you are too tired, then we can rest for a while and then go later..."

"Sarah? Why aren't you ready?" Jason came in as she was about to reply. "We're going out for milkshakes."

She smiled at her brother. She was sure Connor wouldn't mind to meet them at Molly's, casually of course, she wasn't ready to let anyone know about she and Connor, she couldn't possibly put a name to whatever their situation was, they'd kissed, she'd kissed him… and they hadn't really had a chance to talk about it.

Just as on cue, there was a knock on the door.

"Connor? What a nice surprise." Susan said after making her way downstairs with Jason and opening the door. Apparently time had moved faster than Sarah thought because she'd texted him less than an hour before, saying they'd made it home.

"We're going to Molly's." Jason told him. "Dads not home so we can have milkshakes."

Connor smiled at the little boy. "Will you save me a seat?"

Jason nodded. "Sarah's just coming down, you're more than welcome to join us if you want to leave your car here." Susan put in.

"Connor..." Sarah smiled as soon as she saw him. It almost took her breath away, how handsome he looked in a dark pair of pants and olive long sleeved shirt, plus his winter jacket.

"Hey." His eyes locked with hers, making her heart flutter.

"There won't be any cookies left if we wait."

"You can go ahead Mrs. Reese, if you don't mind, I'd like to talk to Sarah." Sarah prayed she wasn't blushing when he sent her a knowing look.

"See? We can go." Jason told Susan.

Her little brother didn't mind her not coming along? Her heart broke a little.

"Is.. is that okay Mom?"

"Of course." Susan smiled. "Just don't take too long."

She nodded.

Sarah grabbed on her coat and followed her mother and Jason outside. She could feel her heart racing at the idea of getting in the car with Connor again, alone, given how that had turned out last time, even though she knew all was different now, she just didn't know how much.

Connor unlocked the car pretty quickly as her mother pulled away. It was getting colder by the minute. He grinned, moving to open the door for her. She honestly hoped her mother had not seen her and Connor stealing glances at each other before, they had been pretty obvious. "Thanks. "

She waited for him to get inside, the car was warm and smelled like him, that was something she'd just noticed.

And she loved that smell.

He was about to start the car, but Sarah stopped him. She didn't want to get to Molly's just yet. She'd had Thanksgiving to think about everything, her feelings, her fears and the implications of it all. She just wished she was as brave as him to actually speak her mind. "So…"

"So…She replied after he broke the silence.

"How was Michigan?"

"It was fine." She smiled. "I actually liked being around my family for once. I guess you never miss anything so much, until you don't have it, right?"

Connor smiled softly. "Right. That's great."

Sarah could have been wrong but was that sadness she'd heard in his voice? Maybe his father had given him a hard time again, maybe his mother's health had deteriorated because of the cold.., maybe he was regretting this whole thing already.

"And you?" Sarah asked. "I hope everything went well with your father." She hadn't dared to ask him via text.

"Yeah, it was fine. My expectations were pretty low, honestly." He didn't make eye contact with her.

Sarah nodded. She didn't go any further on that subject, she knew how hard it was for him to talk about it. "And your Mom?"

"She's… She asked about you." Was his answer.

"Really?"

"Yep. She wants to know when you'll be coming over, and not only to study."

Sarah beamed. "Well we do have that Math test coming up, but I guess we can watch a movie when we're done."

"Sounds good, I might have to ask you for some extra tutoring this week." He winked and her heart skipped a beat.

Then there was silence, Connor seemed, worried, troubled.

Sarah's cheeks flared up as she noticed he was staring at her.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just…I'm thinking." He admitted shyly.

"About?"

"How much I want to kiss you right now." Sarah's heart was pounding."I mean I know you kind of like to take the lead on that one but…it was all I could think about all weekend."

Sarah couldn't believe her cheeks could take more heat.

"I have thought about it too, the kiss I mean…"

"So is that a yes?" He asked, shyly again, like he was making sure she was completely okay with him kissing her.

"Y.. yes, it's okay."

Connor grinned, leaning over. Sarah felt as if time had stopped once more. Her heart was beating loudly in her chest.

Then it happened, Connor pressed his lips against hers, moving them slowly as he went and his forehead touching hers.

She might have been fourteen but she wasn't completely oblivious to how kisses worked. She'd seen movies and she and Joey had experimented, not going too far but still…

She lost any coherent thought when Connor pushed her a little further into her seat, making her Instantly reach for his cheek. Then he pulled back, looking into her eyes.

"I want to, try something but if you don't feel comfortable…" he said breaking contact with her lips. "We don't have to."

"You can if you want." She whispered. "I trust you."

Connor nodded, pushing her lips open, and she obliged, holding her breath as their tongues made contact for the first time. It was probably one of the best feelings Sarah had experienced. Ever.

"Are you okay?" Connor asked worriedly, when Sarah pulled away first, _what was it with them and interruptions?_

It was her Mom. She didn't know how long they'd stayed in the car.

"We should get going, my Mom…"

"Right, I'm sorry…." he turned the car on and a familiar song played in the background.

Connor drove and Sarah couldn't help but think about what had just happened.

The racing of her mind was cut off by the feeling of Connor's hand brushing hers.

Like he was trying to reassure her this was for real.

Sarah watched Connor all the way over to Molly's. And he noticed.

"What?" He asked. "Something wrong?"

"Are you okay?" There she said it, she could feel something was off with him, even beneath all smiles and well manners. She was pretty sure he'd been taught to keep appearances and pretend with others, but she wouldn't buy it.

She also knew he was good at keeping secrets, to keep it all bottled up, but those also would eventually get him in trouble again.

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" He looked at her and she saw it. The stormy look in his eye she'd seen that day at Molly's when his mom had been rushed to the hospital.

"Connor…" she sighed.

"Sarah…" he joked. She reached for his hand on her own for the first time, making Connor look at her.

"Listen I know it may not be none of my business but if we want to get to know each other for real…"

"I thought we were.." he said, hurt in his tone.

"We can't if you are not honest with me from the start. You can have people help you." She said. There'd already been a too many of a track record of men who'd lied to her.

She wouldn't take it.

They were almost at Molly's. Connor avoided her gaze and gripped the wheel with his free hand. "Is it your Mom?"

"No…" he said. "Not exactly."

"You can tell me, I'm sure we can do something…" Sarah said.

Connor laughed bitterly. "No, you can't, but thanks."

"Tell me." She said softly. "Please."

He looked at her, letting go of her hand and running it through his hair.

 _Silence_.

"My Father, I just found out he's been cheating on my Mom,"

Sarah froze but she didn't speak, what possibly could she say that would work? She couldn't even phantom such betrayal.

"See? I didn't want to tell you because you'd look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like my whole life is just some cliché."

"I'd never think that." She told him. "That's the farthest thing from my mind. Trust me."

He turned to look at her, his eyes were glistening.. "It's just.. everything was so great and then it just got so messed up…"

Sarah hadn't even realized they'd had stopped moving. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to burden you with it."

 _Her mind switched, had he called her the something great? No she couldn't afford to let herself indulge on the idea right now. He needed her._

"Is… is there anything I can do?"

 _Stupid. Stupid question._

He turned to her. "No, just..let's just go in there and have a good time? I really, missed you…" he smiled shyly. "And my father is the last thing I want to think of right now."

"Okay…" She replied, not sure what else to tell him. "And you do know that if you want to talk…"

"You'll be the first person I call." They got out of the car.

"And just so you know?" She told him as they bumped shoulders, their hands touching, "I've missed you too."

* * *

Her mother had certainly noticed something was off after Molly's. Off but in a good way, she'd said.

But her? She honestly spent the rest of the afternoon thinking about Connor.

His father had cheated on his mom? On his dying wife?

Sarah knew his kind from TV series, from the cliché that screamed at the little irony and it made her so mad. Specially because she could see just how broken Connor was over it.

She'd never met the man really, but from what Connor had told her, his father wasn't certainly a role model.

Sarah laid in bed, her phone in hand and her fingers grazing over Connor's name. She didn't want to sound desperate or too nosy, but she was worried about him, if his displays of behavior told her anything, it was that his emotions ran high. Sarah didn't want to think of what he'd do if his father were to set him off.

Had that been the reason he'd kissed her today? To forget? She might not understand a lot about boys, but she'd seen enough movies to know.

 _She'd never been kissed like that before, Joey and her? It hadn't exactly been that thrilling or amazing or… Sarah decided having Connor kiss her might be her new favorite thing. She'd hated for it to have been a spur of the moment._

 _Had that been all there was to that kiss?_

 _She'd rather not think about it._

But then her mind began doing her own thing and planting another scenario. She'd have to go to school the next day and back to the real world in which she was the new girl and Connor was Gaffney's renowned bad boy.

"Sarah?" Her mother entered her room, bringing on some clean clothes. "Are you alright?"

Sarah nodded. "Yeah, I'm just a little tired I guess."

"It's been quite the day huh?"

She nodded again. "Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"You… you like Connor, right?"

Her mother laid the clothes basket down.

"I do. But the more important question is, do you?"

Sarah blushed. "Yes, I really, really do…"

Her phone buzzed. "You take it, goodnight sweetheart." Her mother smiled.

Sarah waved her goodbye and smiled at her phone.

"Hey." Connor's face came into the screen on their video call.

"Hi." Sarah smiled. He was laid back on his bed too, his hair messier than usual.

"So.."

Sarah bit her lip. "We have school tomorrow."

"Yep." He said running his hand through his hair. "Are you okay with that?"

"School?"

"Us? I mean do you want for us to keep our distance or.."

"What?"

"I'm not sure, I mean this is new to me too."

"Dating?" She inquired. "I find that hard to believe."

"Actually yeah, I'm no expert…" he smiled. "Despite of what the hallways whisper. "I've just never cared enough, Ava and I? That was all for show."

Sarah's face fell. "Well, Joey and I…"

Oh yeah, Jason had dropped out that bomb on Connor at Molly's that Joey had come over and when he'd asked she admitted to having had feelings for him.

"So, let's make a deal." Connor offered. "Let's just play it and see how it goes? I still have to take you on a proper first date though. Molly's doesn't count."

"Okay," She told him. "But… we have to get through that math exam of Downey's first. I did promise your mom…"

"Right.." Connor rolled his eyes. "Which is why we should go to sleep."

"Probably…"

And they did, bracing themselves for what the next day would bring.

* * *

 **This was one of the longest chapters yet, but Rheese had so much going on! Drama on all fronts but they are there for each other now. Sound off in the comments guys!**

 **See you Saturday and thanks again for the support!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Holding On**

 **Chapter Sixteen.**

Natalie was seriously thinking taking her parents suggestion of having another week off school very seriously the moment that Connor pulled up to her house with Henry in the back.

They were her moral support, like they'd always been.

But the realization that she was actually facing everyone made her want to run inside and hide under the covers and try to pretend it wasn't happening.

"Good morning." Henry wound down his window and smiled at her. He always seemed to be a ball of optimism, she was going to need it and him, even his pregnancy related books were actually coming in handy.

Not that she'd ever admit it.

"Hi." She mumbled as she hurried around to the passenger seat and climbed in before she could second guess her decision.

"All ready for today?" Connor asked.

"No. But I'll never be, so I might as well get it over with." She huffed. "Who would have guessed junior year would be turn out to be such a big deal?" She tried to joke but it fell flat.

"Please tell me there is something more than just me coming back to school." She asked desperately.

Henry was a notoriously bad liar, he looked like a deer caught in headlights at her question.

"Oh great!" She sighed, leaning her head back against the seat.

"Well…" Connor started, tapping the steering wheel.

"What?" Henry asked curiously.

 _Of course! How could she forget about Connor and Sarah?_

She squealed, "Spill, did you talk to her? Please tell me it's good news!"

"Talk to who?" Henry inquired. "Oh, you mean…"

Connor couldn't help but smile. "I mean yeah…we talked and…"

" _And?"_

"We might have kissed again."

"Dude! About time!" Henry practically cheered from the back seat.

"Yes but please tell me it was serious, and didn't just leave her hanging like…" S _he was about to say like Jeff did with her but she thought it better not to mention the father of her child while in the car with Connor and Henry._

"I did. I went over to her house, but I want to take her out on a proper date, it doesn't matter what my Dad says." Connor added.

Natalie raised an eyebrow, mentioning his Dad was _never_ a good sign and his demeanor changed in an instant from happy to wary.

"Your Dad?" She broached.

"It's nothing, he was just more annoying than usual over the Holidays…"

She knew by the tone of his voice that that was the end of the conversation about Cornelius.

"Well I for one cannot wait to see Ava's face when she realizes that you and Sarah are an item." Henry piped up, interrupting the weighty silence.

Nat couldn't help but laugh at the thought too. She knew it was mean but Ava had just turned her life into a living soap opera, plus, she had been annoying Connor and demeaning her and Henry for years.

* * *

Will was in the seat beside Sarah that morning as they took the bus, It had become the routine for Jason to sit with Jay and her with Will during the ride, letting Jason had a slice of normalcy until James returned from Michigan and insisted on driving them to school again. Sarah honestly did not know when he'd be coming back but she'd heard from her Mom he was just sorting out things in the office so he would stay in Chicago for good.

Sarah sighed, focusing on what the others were saying around which mostly consisted of everyone discussing their holidays, the conversation had lulled after a while though and Will had gone back to looking like he was going to a funeral.

Sarah felt terrible, she wasn't exactly an expert on teenage love affairs but even she could see how much Will liked Natalie.

So when Will broke the silence a moment later. she jumped.

"Reese, are you alright?"

They were approaching Gaffney. "Yeah, why?

He narrowed her eyes at her, "I don't know, you look scared or something."

 _Was it that obvious?_

Of course she was nervous, there were too many scenarios playing in her head for her not to be.

 _Connor could rethink everything. He mightn't actually want to hang out with her in public._

 _What would Ava do? What would her friends think?_

 _Was he her boyfriend?_

"No, I'm fine." She said, trying to gloss over the fact that her heart was in her mouth.

The bus pulled up outside school and Sarah met Mary half way with Jason.

She turned around to start the way back to her building when she saw Connor standing to the side waiting for her. His hair was tidier than the night before and he had his winter jacket on and those blue eyes were focused on her.

"Hi." She smiled, feeling something between embarrassed for just how excited she was to see him and feeling nervous over what she should do.

But he had the same smile on his face.

"Hey." He scratched his ear, "How was the bus?"

"Good." She nodded.

And Jason?" He asked.

"Glad to be back on it actually." She smiled. Happy to see her brother progressing once more.

She bit her lip to stop herself from laughing at the 3 foot of space between them, neither of them sure of what to do. "So this is a good start huh?" He mused out loud.

"Something like that." He crossed the space and placed a kiss on the corner of her mouth. She didn't know if he even meant to kiss her cheek or kiss her like the other night. It didn't matter, her heart hammered loud enough that she was afraid it might burst out of her chest.

"So I'll see you in math right?"

"Yeah, second period." Why did it feel like it was so long to go without seeing him? "I've got my meeting with Mr Charles before homeroom now so…" She motioned that she had better get going.

"Oh right, hey, can I walk you?" He asked, hope written all over his face.

"I'd like that." He tentatively placed his hand in hers, intertwining their fingers and Sarah suddenly felt like she was in a romantic movie. Her heart was still pounding.

"Is this okay?"

"Definitely." She said, squeezing his hand gently.

She had mulled over this exact scenario in her head the night before, that if she went around holding Connor Rhodes' hand then there would be people murmuring and looks around she would feel like a fish in a glass bowl.

But as they wandered through the halls, her hand in Connor's as she babbled on about her family at Thanksgiving and he listened intently, she couldn't tell and didn't care if people were staring.

"Well you two seem to be getting on a lot better." Mr Charles said as he appeared behind them in the hallway to his office. Making them let go of each other's hand. "You're right on time Sarah, shall we?"

Sarah sent Connor a sheepish smile and followed their guidance counsellor into his office. Sarah's chat with Mr Charles went well, they talked about her holidays and how she was finding her classes and before she knew it she had to get to Chem.

* * *

"Hi! Did you have a good Holiday?" Emily asked.

"I did, how was yours?"

"Ugh, same old same old, but I can't complain." Emily shrugged. "Please tell me something else has happened, because all anybody is talking about is the fact that Natalie came back to school today and I feel terrible for her."

"Well actually I do have some news…" Sarah admitted and it excited her, to finally have a friend to talk about these things with.

"You do?" Emily's face lit up. "What is it?"

"What's what?" Monique asked as she appeared with Jay in tow.

"Sarah has news!"

"Oh, what's up?" Jay asked, eyeing her closely.

But Sarah was literally saved by the bell.

Ms Dawson beckoned them all into the classroom and started class, which seemed to drag on and be dull to Sarah, which was weird because it happened to be one of her favorite ones now that all the drama with Noah seemed to have dissipated. The bell rang, which meant that she had to get over to her Junior's Math class.

"Hey Will." She said as she caught up with the older boy in the hallway.

"Hey Sarah." If it were possible he sounded even sadder than he had that morning.

She couldn't ignore it anymore, "Are you okay Will?"

He huffed, "Am I that pathetically obvious?" He asked.

"What? No! You just look sad."

He scoffed, "Thanks Reese."

"No, I didn't mean…"

"I know, sorry. I just can't believe she's pregnant."

 _What could she say to that?_

"well if there's anything I can do…" She could only offer, he had been there for her more than once. Maybe that's what it was like having friends, to be there for each other.

"Nah, but thanks Sarah." She got a half smile for her efforts.

She felt him freeze beside her as they approached math only to be met by the sight of Natalie flanked by Connor and Henry, standing on either side of her like bodyguards. Sarah supposed that the older girl needed that today.

"Hey man. What's up?" Ethan managed to intercept Will before he got too close. "Let's go find our seats, alright?"

Sarah kept going, unsure of how she was supposed to interact with Natalie now that she knew.

"Sarah, hey!" Natalie beamed at her, making Sarah feel a little more relaxed, she figured the last thing Nat wanted was for people to make her feel weird.

"Hi you guys" She smiled. "Hey." She said to Connor who looked at her so intently she found herself getting lost in his eyes.

Henry cleared his throat, making her jump. "Bummer about the math test this week huh?" He said. "I'm gonna fail for sure and my dad will have my head…"

Connor groaned. "Tell me about it…"

"Oh yeah because you just _hate_ studying lately." Henry grinned at them both and Sarah felt her cheeks redden.

"Oh leave them alone." Nat rolled her eyes and shoved at Henry."They're cute." The bell rang and Sarah took her seat next to Henry as usual.

"I'm happy for you guys." Henry whispered to her as the class was settling down.

"Thanks." She smiled.

Math became a lot harder for Sarah to focus on now that Connor was sitting in front of her. She found herself focusing on Connor's hair rather than the board at the front of the class. She spent as much time daydreaming about running her hand through his hair, preferably while he kissed her rather than trying to solve the new equations. The bell rang and made Sarah jump, her page sparsely filled with notes. She frowned at her notebook, this couldn't happen again.

Connor reached out to brush his hand against hers as she rushed past to get to English. "I'll see you at lunch?"

The slight contact made her skin jump as if hit by electricity.

She made it through English and headed to the nearest bathroom at her break, but just as she came in, wished she had chosen a different one because standing in front of the mirrors, adjusting her makeup was none other than Ava Bekker.

"Can you believe they let her back in school?" She laughed with Doris. "I mean she won't fit behind a desk soon enough, how stupid could she be, getting pregnant?" She looked around at Sarah, "Oh look who it is, the good digger slut who just goes around stealing others boyfriends"

Sarah felt like she had been slapped but kept her eyes on and the ground and made her way to a toilet stall but Natalie arrived into the room straight after her and Sarah froze, not wanting to leave her alone with Ava.

One of the stall doors opened and the girl that had helped her on her first day appeared.

"Why don't you keep your _stupid_ opinions to yourself?" She asked with her hands on her hips, glaring at Ava. "And why don't you run along and use another bathroom, everybody knows this is for seniors."

Ava swirled around, "Excuse me? Then why the hell are these two here?" She threw a dirty look at Sarah and Natalie.

"Because they are decent human beings." Maggie scoffed, "So why don't you go and leave them alone."

"Whatever." Ava said, beckoning for Doris to follow her out of the bathroom.

"Thanks." Sarah told Maggie.

"Oh anytime." Maggie waved, "Seriously girls like her need to be taken down a peg or two now and again. Don't listen to people like her." She smiled at the two girls.

* * *

Sarah and Natalie walked to the cafeteria together and came across Connor waiting for them in the hallway.

"I'll give you two a minute." Nat smiled and kept walking.

"Hey you." Connor greeted.

"Hey." She whispered back.

"Come here a sec." He said, taking her hand and dragging her out of the room, the seemingly empty hallway was quiet. Connor moved closer and placed a tentative hand on her neck and kissed her softly. "I've been wanting to do that all day." He admitted to her.

Sarah blushed. She didn't think she could ever get tired of Connor kissing her.

"Oh my gosh?" a voice said behind them , and Sarah knew it was Emily before she even opened her eyes.

Sarah bit her lip, easing away from Connor, "So yeah, this is my news…"

Emily just stayed put, seemingly stuck to her spot and opened and closed her mouth without speaking. It was the first time she had seen her friend speechless.

"You okay Emily?" Sarah asked.

Emily seemed to snap out of her daze and stalked over to Connor, poking him in the chest. "I don't care how gorgeous and rich you are, if you hurt Sarah you'll have me to answer to. Hear?"

Sarah's heart swelled, she was pretty sure it was the first thing Emily had ever dared to say to Connor directly.

"Loud and clear." Connor smiled at the other girl.

"So, should I save you a seat or…" Emily glanced at them. "You know what? Go back to your business, I saw nothing, I know nothing."

"We should probably go back, I don't want to leave Nat alone much today." Connor admitted to Sarah.

She smiled, following him into the cafeteria, they went into the line to grab their food and then moved over to the tables, Sarah saw her friends in one and Nat and Henry in the other one. Emily eyed her carefully, motioning for her to go on ahead with Connor, Monique's eyes widened at the realization of it all and Sarah smiled cheekily, content as she followed Connor to his table.

"Hey Sarah, welcome to the dark side." Natalie mused at them, eying Connor. "Sit."

She took a seat next to Natalie."I'd never admit it to them but it's nice having another girl around."

"Yeah, so, can we get back to the matter please." Henry glanced down at his food and the half opened notebook Sarah had realized he'd been holding. "I really can't get a low grade, my dad will kill me."

"Ask Connor, I'm sure he's an expert now that he has Sarah helping him out." Natalie grinned. Sarah felt bad for Henry so she glanced at Connor and then back at the other two.

"I'm going to be studying with Connor all week, you two can join us if you want."

Henry's eyes widened and Connor smiled.

"Really, you want us over?" Natalie asked.

"Yeah, it's no problem." Sarah assured her, after recovering from the blush that had come over her due to what Natalie was implying.

"You're the best Sarah, thank you." Henry smiled. "I'd kiss you but C over here might bust my face."

Lunch went by in a blur and Sarah made her way to class after agreeing to see them later in the day for studying at Connor's. Even though his friends would be there, Sarah felt happy she'd get a chance to be on a more private place, away from the prying eyes of Ava Bekker, who she happened to run into during her way to the last class of the day.

"Oh, I'm sorry…" Ava hadn't seen her or she wouldn't have apologized. "You."

Sarah froze. "You think you're so smart huh? You may be, but that is the only reason Connor is around you, he needs to get his grades up so he can graduate with honors, you do know that's all you are to him, right?"

Sarah couldn't speak, years of taunting and bullying seemed to have done the trick and she couldn't move.

"Sarah?" Came Connor's voice from behind. "Everything okay?" He came to stand beside her.

Ava glanced at her in disgust. "You do know you are making the biggest mistake of your life, don't you Connor? Your father will never be okay with you being with someone like her. She will never be part of your world."

"I'd rather be a part of hers than yours or my father's." Connor beckoned at her.

Sarah could feel her eyes watering as Ava walked away. "Don't listen to her."

She didn't want Connor to see her cry but it was too late. "What if she's right?" Sarah found herself asking.

"What? Come here," He pulled her into an empty classroom. "Sarah, please look at me. I like you, I want to be with you and nothing Ava says will change that okay? You are the most amazing person I know, do you hear me?" He touched her cheeks, cleaning the tears away.

Sarah nodded and he took her hand in his. "You want me to walk you back to class?"

Sarah nodded again and he wrapped her arms around her, kissing her forehead.

* * *

Connor made it home as soon as school was over, hoping to see his mom even if it was for a little while, she seemed more and more tired lately.

"Mom?"

"Oh, hey sweetheart, come in." Elizabeth was watching some competition baking show. "You remember when we would sneak into the kitchen and bake?" She asked.

Connor smiled, remembering a happier time, before she'd gotten sick. "And Katie would be so mad at us for making a mess."

Elizabeth smiled. "Come here." She patted the bed. "Something on your mind baby?"

He didn't want to say anything about his father, who actually had taken yet another trip and wouldn't be returning in two weeks time. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Connor nodded, he really didn't want to have to tell her. "Is this about Sarah?"

 _Sarah?_

"I take it you told her how you felt." His mother said. He hadn't actually told his Mom about him and Sarah, not that he had kissed her before Thanksgiving or… he'd barely seen her up for anything these past few days.

"Yeah, I did…"

"And…."

"And I'm trying to figure out where to take her for our first date." Elizabeth smiled.

"Take who on what?" Katie barged in. "Oh you finally told Sarah didn't you? Let me guess, she swooned?"

Connor laughed. "Eavesdropping much Katie?"

"Oh I'm sorry, but it is Sarah, right? Not that Ava girl?"

"Yes it is Sarah…"

"Oh heavens, that is certainly good news…" Katie clapped.

"Actually, she, Henry and Nat are coming over to study, so would you mind setting up the den for us?"

"Studying huh?" The older woman grinned.

"Yes, with Henry and Nat." Connor rolled his eyes and his mother actually laughed.

"And do you have any plans on where to take Sarah?" His mother asked once Katie was gone.

Connor bit his lip. "It's stupid."

"What is?"

"I don't want her to think I'm trying to impress her with money or anything." Connor admitted. "Sarah doesn't care for any of that."

Elizabeth smiled, taking his hand in hers. "And neither do you. So why don't you just make it simple?"

Connor gave this a little thought. "Show her the real Connor and what's important to you. She'll like that."

Connor smiled. _The real Connor?_

"Okay." He told his mom. "But what if I haven't figured it out?"

"What sweetheart?" Elizabeth asked.

"The real me." He admitted shyly. Elizabeth's gaze met his.

"That's even better. You get to discover it with her then and she can bring out something in you that is outside of everything you know. Does that make sense?"

"I guess." Connor smiled and his mother was pleased.

"So how's Natalie?" Elizabeth asked, shifting the subject.

"She's hanging in there, Henry and I made sure she wasn't alone today but… I mean is it wrong I wanted to shove everyone who glared at her?"

"Well you've known her for a long time. You two have always been close. It hurts you too that she's in that situation."

"Yeah and I don't know how to fix it." Connor huffed.

"You can't sweetheart." Elizabeth told him." Actually, Carol and I talked and she's thinking on getting Natalie a tutor."

"What for?"

"Just until the baby is born."

"I don't think Nat wants that…"

"It can be what she needs to get ahead on her studies and actually be able to finish her Junior year…"

"She can do that at school Mom…" Connor put in.

"At what price?" Elizabeth inquired. "You and Henry can't protect her forever and the stress that school might actually cause health problems for her and the baby."

Connor froze. Elizabeth's tone softened as they heard the bell ring. Henry and Natalie made their way upstairs to see his mother and Connor watched as her face lit up. She'd missed having them over.

"I'm sorry kids, Mrs. Rhodes, needs to rest now." Kelly knocked on the door. Natalie and the boys made their way downstairs to what had been Connor's old playroom which now served like a TV room of some sort.

"Where's Sarah?" Henry asked. Just as on cue the doorbell sounded off and Katie called for Connor.

"Go ahead, we know the way." Natalie smiled at him.

Connor reached for the foyer where Sarah stood. "Hey."

"Hi, sorry I'm late. I had to stay with Jason until my Mom got home."

"It's okay." He assured her, closing the distance between them

"Sarah…" Katie beamed at her, and she turned tomato red. "It's nice to see you again honey, go on ahead you two, Natalie and Henry are already downstairs."

"Okay, so I'm officially a dead man, even if I make enough money for my car, they will never let me drive it if I don't get a good grade on Downey's test." Henry groaned frustrated.

Sarah smiled at him. "You know this Henry, I know you do."

"I'm supposed to be the optimistic one." Henry sighed.

"Well then, let's do it again, you just have to focus, okay?"

"She's good."

"Yeah, if there's anyone who can help Henry, it's Sarah."

"Oh, you're cute all lovey dovey like that." Natalie mused. "It's almost sickening…"

"Gee thanks." Connor huffed as they laid on the couch as Sarah and Henry sat on the table. Sarah had decided to take a little more time with him than the other two.

"No, I mean, I just…"

"Have you talked to Jeff?" Connor asked.

"Yeah, we've been talking but I'm not even sure if he wants to do anything with the baby…"

"What do you mean?"

"He asked if I was getting rid of it…" Natalie admitted to Connor.

"You're not…"

"Of course not!" She hissed. "That never even crossed my mind, I don't even think I could do. This is not the baby's fault."

 _Connor's mind then drifted to Sarah, what if he found himself in Jeff's position, would he be responsible enough to have a family at his age?_

"Connor?"

"What? Sorry. What are you planning to do?"

"I want to finish school, or go as far as I can to finish this year, but first I have to get through this test, so let's go."

Break was over. Connor joined the others at the table, just like with his Mom, they'd take a day at a time.

* * *

The next few days went by pretty quickly for Sarah, between tutoring and James's return to Chicago, her mind had been otherwise occupied. She had avoided being alone at school just to make sure she and Ava didn't cross each other's paths.

Friday came and a cloud downed on everyone as they walked to Downey's class. "You can do this Henry." Sarah assured the tall boy as she sat beside her. "Remember, just focus, okay?"

Henry nodded, gulping as Downey's timer started. Sarah focused on her test, finishing rather quickly but staying on her seat, staring at the page blankly. She didn't want her friends to feel pressured to finish, specially since she was a sophomore.

"Here goes nothing." Henry sighed as he put his pencil down and handed over his exam. Sarah smiled at him as he returned to his seat. class began to empty after the bell had rung, and being that it was the last class of the day.

"So, I've been thinking…" Connor said as they walked to get Jason. "I've figured where I want to take you to for our first date."

"Oh?"

"You're new to the Chicago way, so I want to take you to one of my favorite places." He told her.

"Okay…" Sarah seemed unsure but she trusted him.

"So, what do you say we go tonight?"

"Really?"

"Yep."

He'd told her to dress comfortably but Sarah was freaking out, It was her first official date with Connor and she had nothing to wear.

She'd even rung Emily and her friend had come running, Monique in tow to help her get ready.

"So, what did he say?" Monique asked.

"Just to be ready by 8." Sarah sighed. "I had to promise my Mom I'd be back by ten. She's never let me stay out this late before."

Emily squealed when the doorbell rang. "Oh my God, you have to text us as soon as you get back."

"Leave no detail unsaid." Monique added in. They stood by the window to her room when Sarah made her way downstairs.

Jason thankfully was already in bed. "Have fun honey." Susan said, eyeing Connor. "Her curfew is ten, not a minute more, you hear?"

"Yes, Mrs. Reese." Connor smiled assuring her. "I promise."

As always, he opened the door for her and got in the driver's seat, taking her hand as he drove.

Sarah's heart was pounding from the expectation of it all.

"Are you okay?" He asked sweetly. She'd never been on a real date, not like this. She nodded and he smiled.

They reached their destination and Connor, opened the door for her, offering her his hand as they entered the building, Sarah knew she'd seen it before. They took the elevator and made their way up.

"Connor, just in time." A man beamed at them. "Come this way please."

"The view is even better at night." Connor commented as he followed the man to the side of the room.

Sarah finally understood why she recognized the building as they reached the Skydeck.

 _Willis Tower._

"Here you go." The older man beamed at them as they came into one of the balconies at the tower. One on the farthest side. "And before I forget…" He called for someone and then came back with a basket. "Enjoy."

Connor thanked him and invited Sarah to take a seat beside him. "This is my favorite spot on the deck."

Sarah smiled, looking out and enjoying the view. It was amazing and so beautiful. "I know you weren't really a fan when you first came here but I wanted you to show you my Chicago." Connor admitted as he pulled her closer and she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Connor it's beautiful…" She said, he turned to look at her, his eyes shining in the dim light of the balcony. Sarah held her breath as he leaned to kiss her, a kiss that made her forget about everything else but them. She even ran her fingers through his hair and deepened the kiss, she could listen to his heart beating beside hers.

And just like that it began to snow and Sarah could see it fall from the tallest spot in the city.

It was like magic. "Are you cold?" He offered her his jacket and pulled her closer. "I loved our first date." Sarah said after a moment and he kissed her forehead as they drank hot chocolate.

"Me too." He said softly, smiling into her cheek.

And Sarah didn't think their date could be more perfect than that, it wasn't over the top or fancy or anything like that, but it was so thought about and sweet just like Connor was.

And she wasn't ready to admit it yet, but Sarah was pretty sure, as she felt safe and so happy in his arms that this was what falling in love felt like.

* * *

 **Awww sooo Nat is back in school and Rheese had their first date, What did you guys think? Are you full of feels like we were while writing this?**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17.**

Christmas happened to be around the corner and just a month after that, Sarah would be turning 15.

It was the last week before Christmas break when she walked to school with Jay and Emily. The Winter Dance which was a silly tradition at Gaffney loomed over them. It wasn't like Sarah liked parties or being the center of attention but she and Connor had officially become a couple, he'd asked her one day at her house after a movie and she'd said yes, it was simple and sweet. Sarah hadn't complained. She had a boyfriend now.

The idea of having her 'buddy' turning into so much in so little time made her dizzy.

And so did the possibility of going to her first official high school dance with her new boyfriend, who by definition had way more experience in that than her as those events terrified her,thing was, he hadn't asked her yet.

"So, we're all going to the dance right?" Monique asked, joining them by the main stairs. "Not that I have been asked…"

"Me neither." Emily huffed.

"Have you asked anyone Jay?" Sarah asked.

"No… he's still hasn't grown a pair to ask Erin…"

"She doesn't even go here. I'm sure she has her own dance to go to." Jay shot at her.

"Well, I for one think we should all go together, you know? Keep on a united front?" Monique offered.

"Sounds good, I need to get away from Will and his moping anyway."

"Still, who would have thought it would be Sarah with a boyfriend and not us by Christmas huh?"

Sarah blushed. "I'm not even sure Connor wants to go honestly, I think he's had enough dances to last him a lifetime."

"Oh, suree." Emily joked. "Like he's not going to invite you." Emily froze. "We'll see you later then."

Sarah hadn't even realized Connor was standing behind them and when she turned around she almost fell over. "Hey."

"I think my friends are scared of you or something." Sarah smiled at him.

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Is that a bad thing?" Connor asked, jokingly.

"I'm still deciding…." she told him cheekily. She had not wanted to mention the dance to him. She didn't want to sound too desperate, like a small town girl who couldn't wait to show off her boyfriend.

It would be totally okay if she just went with her friends if he didn't want to go.

But honestly, she really wasn't sure how that would work, she'd never had a boyfriend or actual friends to go with.

They walked to class together as they had Math first, meeting with Henry and Natalie as they went.

"Sarah, I think you've created a monster." Natalie said rolling her eyes at Henry, Sarah smiled. Henry had aced his test a few weeks back and now boasted confidence, so much that he said his dad had promised to get the rest of the money for the car on Christmas.

Mostly Sarah had heard it from Henry himself, that they were glad he was getting a car so he could help his parents with carpool.

"Hey guys, so you're coming later, right?"

They'd be hanging out at Molly's.

"I'll be there." Connor mused.

"I think my Dad will never let you pay again at the diner Sarah, he says your tutoring really saved me."

"Oh." Sarah was blindsided with the praise, back in Michigan it had been weird that she was smart, but here? It gave her a warm feeling to have people not only accept her for it, but praise her too. "He doesn't have to do that."

"Well either way, I will be your official ride anytime, I wouldn't have my car without you."

Connor glanced at his friend jokingly.

"Or maybe not…" Henry smiled.

Sarah grinned, it was a nice feeling to have someone care so much for her as Connor seemed to.

"So you're coming to Molly's right?" Natalie asked.

"Yeah, Jason actually has a play date so I'm free for the evening."

"He has a playdate? that's awesome!" Nat smiled.

Sarah supposed it was because Natalie and Henry had younger siblings that she felt more comfortable talking about Jason with them than her other friends. And this was a big milestone for her little brother.

"Yeah, but I think I'm more nervous about it than he is." She admitted.

"He'll be fine, he hasn't stopped raving about going on over at Danny's for weeks, It's a good thing he has friends. " Connor reassured her, squeezing her hand.

The day went quickly by, most of the teachers seemed to be trying to cram in as much work as they could before the break so she finally got a breather at lunch.

"Is it me or have all the teachers gone mad?" Monique asked as she rubbed her temples.

"They've always been mad." Will smirked as he bit into his sandwich.

He had been hanging out with them a lot lately, as he seemed to be avoiding anything Natalie related.

"We deserve a prize if we're supposed to get through this week." Emily sighed as she texted on her phone.

"How does Molly's this evening sound?" Jay asked and continued to cut off Will who was about to protest, "Man if I have to spend another evening in the garage with that damn car that refuses to start, _I'm_ going to go crazy. Let's just hang out at the diner for once."

"Sounds good to me." Monique said. "What about you Sarah?"

"Uh, yeah, sure, count me in." She smiled hesitantly, she didn't want to admit that she was going already.

It was tough, going from having zero friends to two groups of them. Trying to keep both happy. She felt like she was going to have to split herself in two that evening. With Jay and Monique seemingly not wanting to hang out with Connor and Will upset with Nat, Sarah didn't see how things were going to pan out.

Sarah got the bus home, feeling like she was missing her right arm with Jason not beside her as she hopped on.

"Is your little brother not with you?" April asked from across the aisle. Noah had the sense to stay well away from Sarah now. After April blew up at her and then found out that Noah had in fact been in the wrong, things had been kind of strained between them, even though they were practically neighbors.

"No, he's going to a friends house."

"Oh cool, good for him." She smiled. Sarah got it, she was protective of her brother too, but April was making an effort.

"Hey, April, you're stopping at Molly's with us right?" Emily piped up from a seat behind her.

"shouldn't you be getting home to study?" Ethan, apparently had super hearing when it came to his sister, asked from near the front.

"I'll have plenty of time to study all week and over the holidays, plus Sarah is like a genius and she's promised to keep me on my toes, I'm covered. Stop being such a spoilsport, you can come hang out too, if you don't cramp my style too much." Emily argued back.

Sarah wondered if she could start charging for her tutoring as she bit back a smile and listened to the others.

"Please come, or I'll have to drag Will all by myself." Jay begged as Ethan looked hesitant.

"You're coming too April?" Emily asked.

"Yeah Natalie mentioned it, I'm getting off there too."

That seemed to do it for Ethan but he didn't admit it right away.

"C'mon, please?" Jay tried again.

"Ok, fine, but only for a little while." Ethan warned his sister.

Sarah thanked the bus driver as he pulled up just down the block from Molly's having half the bus getting off.

* * *

"Nothing to beat the Monday blues like a meal at Molly's." Emily declared, linking her arm through Sarah and leading their little ragtag group of friends to the diner.

As soon as they got through the door Sarah saw Natalie and Connor sitting together near the counter where Henry was serving. He smiled at her, and she smiled back, itching to join them but Emily remained oblivious and pulled Sarah along with her to another table.

"I am _starving_." Emily huffed as she looked through the menu.

"Em, you always pick the same thing, why are you even looking through that?" Jay grinned.

"She's trying to look extra interested in the diner." Ethan rolled his eyes.

"Shut up!" Emily glared at him and leaned over to punch him in the shoulder.

"What?" Sarah asked, "Why's that?" She looked around.

"It's not the diner so much as the guy running it…Ow!" Emily threw the menu at his face.

"Don't be so stupid Ethan!" She huffed.

"Seriously, though, what is with girls and Henry lately?" Ethan threw the question out and Sarah was surprised to find Monique suddenly playing with the menu too, red rising in her cheeks.

"Henry's really nice." Sarah offered.

"I thought all girls liked bad boys'?" Jay asked and gave her a pointed stare.

Sarah's cheeks reddened and she fought the urge to glance over at Connor.

"Well if you sophomores want to discuss the merits of dating all evening, feel free, I'm going to say hi to Nat." April said as she stood, "You know she needs all the friends she can get right now." She said but stared too long at Will, suggestively.

Will just played with the salt and pepper shakers and didn't even lift his gaze. April shrugged and drifted over to Natalie and Connor.

That was when Sarah turned around and saw Connor watching her...When his blue eyes met hers, she felt the pull to join him. Even if it wasn't as amazing as sharing food on top of the Willis Tower but it wouldn't matter as long as she got to sit beside him. But Emily's voice pulled her from her thoughts.

"What does everyone want? We'll go order, won't we Monique?" Emily asked as she kicked Sarah's leg to bring her back to reality and out of Connor daydream land.

He gave her a smile before she forced herself to turn back to her friends.

They all gave out their orders and the two girls rushed to the counter before a server could come to them just in time to catch Henry and his friendly smile.

"You could just say hi, c'mon, you two have been friends since kindergarten." Jay said.

"Yeah, apparently she's having it tough. Some of the rest of the class weren't exactly nice in Biology today." Ethan admitted.

But Will was having none of it.

"It doesn't matter, she made it pretty damn obvious she would choose Jeff over me any day."

"She can't help who she loves." Sarah pointed out as gently as she could.

Will looked like she just slapped him. "I'm going to the bathroom, excuse me." He said as he stood up. He froze when he did, obviously realising that he'd need to get past Nat's table first.

He kept going anyway.

"Thanks, I'll be right down with that all when it's ready." He flashed the two younger girls his best customer service smile after he gave them their receipt. They thanked him again and made their way back to their seat. He watched them as they sat down and glanced back his way, sending them another smile as he pushed his pencil behind his ear.

He knew it was probably self-centered to realize they had a crush on him, but he knew that attention from someone you liked could all but make your day. Why not pass some happiness around?

The bell chimed and his head shot up to see who came in.

"What's got you so jumpy?" His Dad asked as he came out from the kitchen.

"Nothing." Henry shrugged off the comment.

But it wasn't nothing, and he knew it was stupid, but he kept looking to Claire to wander back in.

He had told himself he was over her, and he had been, but it was easier to tell himself that when she wasn't around. Her coming back unannounced just rustled up old feelings and he was left feeling like he was twelve years old again hoping she'd arrive with her Mom and Connor for breakfast.

It was ridiculous.

But he kept his eye on the door all the same.

* * *

"Hey Will." He heard Nat call to their old friend as he passed by. He had always liked Will, they had been inseparable since the first grade, played hockey and basketball together, but then Connor arrived at Gaffney's the year before, throwing Nat and Will's dynamic out of whack and when Connor and Will had been at odds, Henry tended to pick Connor over Will when he had to, their families were too close not to.

But oh boy did he feel terrible for the redhead. For as long as he could remember, Will had been besotted by Natalie Manning. Of course she had never known, he had always resorted to cliché things like picking on her and literally pulling her pigtails just to get her attention.

But the two had become friends in high school, they were both as stubborn as each other that it worked. And they made one hell of a team in gym class.

But seeing Nat reach out to him and to be met by a stone cold wall of no emotion was horrible.

Connor glared at Will as he passed by and completely ignored her, Henry could only watch on as Nat curled in on herself.

He knew that Connor realised by now that Will liked Nat, but he hadn't been around long enough to know that Will had been _in_ _love with her forever._

And it must have crushed him to find out she was pregnant and still in love with Jeff.

He pushed it from his mind when his Dad flicked his ear and told him to stop daydreaming. Henry pushed through to the kitchen and got the drinks for Emily and Monique's table.

"Hey there's Sarah, you tell her we owe her?" His Dad asked.

"I did." Henry nodded as he made his way over and handed out their drinks.

He struck up a conversation with Ethan and Jay about the recent football results as he watched in amusement as Sarah and Connor couldn't keep their eyes off each other.

And then it happened, Connor didn't even notice until it was too late.

Natalie got up and stopped Will on his march back to his table.

Henry wandered back over, trying not to make it obvious he was rushing but he needed to keep his hands on Connor. The last thing the diner needed was another Rhodes-Halstead fight.

And Natalie had backbone, she wasn't about to let Will walk over her.

They always had their arguments over the years and things settled down after each one, he was hoping it would be true again.

"Okay, what is your problem?" She demanded, throwing her words in his face.

"Move out my way Nat." Will responded.

"Not until you tell me what the hell is going on." She gritted out, placing a hand on his arm as he tried to move around her. "You don't think I've had a crappy enough few weeks already in school with everyone else. But the last person I expected to desert me was you!"

But her words didn't get Will riled up like Henry expected them to, if anything they made him look even more remorseful.

"You chose Jeff."

"Of course I did you idiot, I was in a relationship with him, I thought you'd understand that." She implored and Henry cringed for the guy. Way to throw the guy's feelings back at him.

"Yeah, loud and freaking clear Nat."

"Well I'm choosing to keep this baby." Her hand drifted to her abdomen. "And you know Jeff isn't exactly being supportive, but I thought I could count on my friends, on _you_."

"Of course you can." Will protested.

"Well you sure haven't been acting like it." Her voice wobbled, and Henry knew from experience that pregnancy caused ridiculous hormonal changes and he was ready to get her out of there if she started crying. She didn't need any more rumors about her pregnancy going around.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and shook his head, "I'm always here for you." He said softly, "But I can't be Jeff. You already made your choice." His eyes hardened. "I'll see you in school."

He walked straight back to his table, sitting against the wall and avoiding any chance of catching sight of her. Nat sat down as if she had been deflated and April made it for the bathroom taking Nat along as an excuse to get her out of the prying eyes of the diner and giving her enough time to process.

"You know, as soon as I start to like the guy he goes and does something like that and upsets her." Connor fumed.

"It's just the way they are man." Henry shrugged.

"Tell me about it, you haven't had to put up with those two for years." Ethan huffed as he came up to get refills.

"Still…" Connor just wasn't convinced. But Henry knew that Connor just didn't get it. He had never liked anyone who didn't or couldn't like him back. Henry could relate to Halstead.

The next hour went pretty quickly, more kids from the surrounding high school's filed in for an after school pick me up, or even just the famous Molly's hot chocolate. The recipe was one of his Mom's.

He watched on from behind the counter as the two groups remained separated.

He felt bad for Sarah, even though she had been around for long enough now, he still saw her as the new girl and she was the baby of the group. She was stuck on Will's side of the fence while Nat and Connor remained far from her.

And he could see she was torn about it.

Sarah's phone buzzed and she jumped at the sound. She had been far too invested in the story that Ethan and Emily were sharing that she had forgotten where she was. Mary's name popped up on the screen.

"Hi." Her brother's voice came through.

"Hi Jason, did you have fun at Danny's?"

"Yeah. His Mom draw pictures with us like you do. When are you coming home?" He asked.

Sarah bit her lip. "In a while, I'm helping some friends with their homework." She felt terrible for lying to him.

"Connor?"

"No, Jay and Will."

"Oh. Okay. Bye." She laughed as he hung up the phone sounding happy at the idea. He obviously trusted the Halstead brothers.

But now she was curious as to how the rest of his playdate had gone and was itching to call her Mom and find out.

"That Jason?" Will asked, his first words since he nearly ran into Natalie.

"Yeah, he doesn't seem to mind the fact that I'm helping you two study. And he seemed happy after his playdate, but you know Jason, so I'll just call my Mom."

Will looked at her a bit lost but added.

"Go and call your Mom, we'll be here when you get back." He attempted a smile. "I'll try and keep Jay from eating your dessert."

"That was one time!" Jay told Will as Sarah smiled and excused herself outside into the bitter cold Chicago air to call her Mom.

* * *

Jason had got on brilliantly. He even wanted to have Danny over to their house soon, she called that a victory.

Sarah's hands were freezing by the time that she got off the phone with her Mom.

She was about to head back inside as Connor came out the door, looked around, spotted her and smiled.

Even having him that close and gazing at her was enough to make her warm up inside.

"Hey, everything okay?" He asked with a concerned tone frowning slightly. His nose was growing red from the cold already.

"Yeah, it's great, Jason had a great time, I was just checking up on him."

"That's really good to hear." His face lit up.

"Yeah." She nodded, "Sorry I can't sit with you, I promised Emily and Will is upset and now Natalie and well I'm not used to having this many friends and now I have you and…" She didn't know where it all came from but she was rambling on about the worries that were plaguing her since she arrived.

He intertwined both his hands in hers and smiled softly, "You do know that's okay, right? I mean I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want to sit beside you but you're with your friends and that's great."

"But you're not a fan of the Halsteads." She pointed out.

"If they're clever enough to realize how brilliant you are then they can't be too bad now can they?" He told her, "And about Nat, she knows it's not like you're picking sides. And besides, it's better you stay away from Henry and his Dad at the diner or they'll be forcing all their free food on you." He chuckled, drawing her closer.

She felt like she was in a snow globe scene. With the snow covered city all around her but in her own little bubble with Connor.

He leaned in to kiss her and she met him halfway. His lips were cold but so were hers. And while his hands were almost freezing, they left what felt like a trail of fire as he ran his thumb down her cheek and jaw and around to the back of her neck and he used his other arm to pull her closer, if that were possible. Sarah held her breath as the kiss deepened.

Someone coughed. Loudly.

It was loud enough to pull her from her dazed state of kissing Connor. She felt him pull away.

"Claire" Connor all but sputtered as he turned around, keeping his hand at the small of Sarah's back.

"Well it's not everyday I find my baby brother making out behind Molly's." The girl smirked.

Sarah stared at the older girl and was pretty sure her eyes were the size of saucers and her cheeks were scarlet red, and not from the cold.

"I didn't expect to see you here" Connor recovered.

"Yeah well, Molly's is kind of _the_ hangout for you kids now, right?" She shrugged with one shoulder and a small smile.

Claire stood up straighter and leaned over to shake Sarah's hand. "Claire Rhodes, this idiot's older sister. I'm hoping you're Sarah."

"Eh, yeah, nice to meet you." She sputtered. She was struck with a sort of awe because Claire was everything she wasn't. Not a strand of her long dark hair, the same shade as Connor's, was out of place. Her makeup was perfect and she had a confident aura about her.

"Of course she's Sarah!" Connor said in outrage.

"Relax little brother." Claire rolled her eyes, "I'm only joking. Anyway, Mom sent me for some of those Christmas cookies that Molly's sells this time of year. I'll leave you two to it." She grinned wickedly at Connor. "It was lovely to meet you Sarah, tell this brother of mine to bring you over some time while I'm around, so we can meet each other properly."

Sarah hadn't heard that much about Claire from Connor, only that she was never home and had had a turbulent couple of years. But Sarah saw a serious glimpse of Elizabeth in Claire's sincere smile, so she was willing to give the girl the benefit of the doubt.

"Well look who it is, hello stranger." Henry's Dad came out from behind the counter to hug Claire as she arrived. Henry had to focus on not tripping over while he stared at her.

"Hey Christopher." Claire smiled softly, keeping her head down.

She and her Mom were the only ones to call Hermann by his name.

"I heard you're home for the Holidays huh? You should come over, Cindy is always asking about you."

Henry knew his parents were nearly the only two people, besides him, to stay on Claire's side through the last few years. They knew her as a kid. They knew her.

"I'll try." She said, "Eh, my Mom wants some of those famous Christmas cookies if you have any left."

"I just finished up a new batch, let me get them for you kiddo."

"Hey Claire." Henry said, as she took a seat at the counter.

"Hey Henry." She said. "Thanks…for not mentioning…"

That she didn't want Connor to know she was home, that time, yeah, he made sure to keep quiet.

"No problem." He shrugged. "So you'll be home for Christmas?"

"That's the plan." She nodded, "Mom needs me. Connor probably won't be too happy though."

"Well Connor needs to get over it, she's your Mom too."

She looked at him suddenly, piercing him with that blue eyed stare. Then she smiled wistfully and shook her head. "You're sweet Henry."

He bit the inside of his cheek, he didn't think he wanted to be sweet, he wanted to be something that would make Claire look at him like he wasn't just her brother's best friend with the many siblings and happy manner.

"Henry." A slightly breathless Emily Choi had marched her way up to the counter.

He sent Claire an apologetic look then went to take care of his customers. "Hey Emily, what can I do for you?"

He asked, leaning on the counter.

She went all wide eyed on him and he nearly worried about her health.

Emily then eyed Claire. She knew she was Connor's older sister. She'd done her research on all things related to the junior when he'd arrived to Gaffney the year before.

And she knew, she might have a crush on Henry. But him? Apparently Henry did too and his was his best friend's sister.

She smiled, trying hard not to giggle at the adorableness of the situation.

"I was just wondering if we could a refill our hot cocoa"

Henry smiled. Not really sure if that was actually what she wanted but he gave her a nod and then turned to Claire.

"We'll see each other around then? Sorry I have to…"

Claire stood up, taking the box of cookies from the other waitress, "Oh sure, hey you'll be running the place real soon? Your dad doesn't know that yet though." She winked." I'll be seeing you Henry." She smiled and made her way to the door.

All Henry could do was watch her go.

Connor had offered to give Sarah a ride home from Molly's. "Oh, of course, ditch us for your gorgeous boyfriend." Emily had said. "See you tomorrow you two, don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Sarah blushed as she followed Connor to his car, grateful to be alone with him, away from Will's moping and Nat's hormones and Henry's awkwardness over Claire's sudden visit.

"So I've been meaning to ask you…" Connor began, Sarah felt him play with her fingers as he held them. "If you wanted to go to Dance with me? I know you don't really like parties like that but I would hate it for you to miss your first one."

Sarah smiled, touched by just how much he cared. "I'd love to."

Connor beamed at her. "Good. It's a date."

* * *

He drove her home and he walked her over to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

Sarah grabbed his hand. "Yeah, I'll see you, I'm sorry again we didn't get to hang out much today."

"Don't worry, you can make it up to me at the dance." He told her charmingly.

"Deal." She beamed at him. Then he leaned to kiss her softly on the lips.

Sarah's heart pounded in her ears until she reached her room and texted Emily.

She needed to help her find a dress.

Sarah Reese was going to her first official social event, with Connor Rhodes as her boyfriend.

* * *

 **OMG how cute are Rheese and Henry having a crush on Claire? He's basically one of our favourite characters in this story.**

 **And how did you like the Manstead showdown?**

 **See you next time you guys!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 18**

"You're wearing a dress." Jason stated as Sarah came down the stairs.

"Do you like it?" Sarah asked as she brushed the skirt on her pale blue dress.

"You look different."

"She looks beautiful. Doesn't she sweetheart?" Her Grandmother, Juliet had travelled down to Chicago just for the occasion. Her first granddaughter's first dance.

"Thanks Grandma." She smiled, making her way down the stairs, glad she had decided to go with flat shoes despite Emily's protests to get high heels. Sarah knew that would be pushing her Mom a bit too much, when she had come home and asked if she could go to a school dance with her boyfriend and hang out with her friends, past her curfew, safe to say, Susan looked at her as if she didn't recognise her.

"You have your purse? And your cell phone, right?" Her Mom fretted as she adjusted the earrings she had loaned Sarah.

Emily and Monique had been over all evening after school, as they all did their hair and attempted to try on makeup while also spending most of their time giggling and dancing to the latest pop music. It was honestly the first time ever Sarah felt like a proper teenager. Getting to have fun with her friends and giggle over boys.

"Yes Mom. And Connor should be here soon."

"Why can't I come?" Jason asked again.

"Because it's for big kids Honey, but you have me all to yourself this evening, okay?" Her Grandma explained.

Her words went in one ear and out the other as the doorbell rang and Jason rushed to the door and opened it before anyone could stop him.

"Hi Connor!" Jason stopped him in the doorway and Sarah was glad, it gave her a second to appreciate the view. He was dressed up in a black suit and crisp white shirt.

She still couldn't believe he was here _for her._

"I can't come with you. Dances are for big kids." Jason huffed. "Can you come see me soon?"

"I'd love to Jason but you're leaving for break, aren't you?"

"We have to go on a plane tomorrow." Jason informed him.

"See?" Connor smiled, glancing down. "But I'll come see you right after, alright?"

"After Christmas you have to get Sarah a present for her birthday." Jason told him.

"I plan to, and speaking of presents, Katie sent over these." Connor turned to Susan as he handed the small box to him. "They're not the same as Molly's, but I have a feeling you'll like them."

"What do you say Jason?" Susan smiled.

"Thank you."

"Let's go to the kitchen and find a glass of milk."

Jason nodded, happy with his encounter making his way inside, following his mom who shot a glance at Connor as she went. Sarah managed to get to the door before her Grandma.

"Hi." She gushed, fidgeting with her dress, suddenly worrying it wasn't nice enough. After all, with his other life of being a Rhodes, Sarah was sadly aware that he had probably seen a lot of pretty girls in pretty dresses.

"Hi." He smiled, "Wow, you look _beautiful_." He looked at her like she was sun after a storm.

"Thank you. You look good too." Her words didn't do how well he looked justice but she felt tongue tied. She tried to tell herself that it was just another Friday night with Connor but she was far too aware that it was a dance date with her new boyfriend.

"Ah, you see I'm not completely dressed yet." He smiled sheepishly, revealing a small bag from behind his back. "My Mom insisted that I had to have a tie to match your dress perfectly so she sent me with an array of them…so you could pick one. _And_ she wants you to visit after Christmas to hear all about the dance _and_ she told me to act like a perfect gentleman _and_ she says to tell you she hopes you have a good night." He told her, "Seriously I think my Mom likes you better than me now." He laughed softly.

"Well, tell her I said thank you and I'd love to come and see her."

"Sarah, don't leave the boy out in the cold, bring him in I want to get a look good." Her Grandma called.

"That's my Grandma," Sarah told him as she beckoned him inside. "She…uh…may have heard a lot about you over Thanksgiving and wants to meet you." Sarah stayed staring at her shoes.

"Lead the way." Connor said, placing a finger under her chin and lifting her head to look her in the eye. "Hey, whats up? Tonight's supposed to be fun."

"I know, I just can't believe this is happening. Me going to a dance. With you."

"You better." He fought the urge to kiss her worries away and instead gave her a reassuring nod.

"Come on now you two, don't leave me hanging."

Connor smiled and followed Sarah over to where Juliet sat. "Grandma, this is Connor."

"Mrs. Reese, it's so nice to meet you." Connor said charmingly.

"Oh, I like him already. He has honest eyes, like your grandpa used to." Juliet said.

"Alright, you better get going now, you don't want to be late." Susan interjected a moment later.

"Of course, go on." Juliet smiled at the kids.

"So now, Connor, I'm allowing Sarah to be home a little later than usual, you better be in your best behavior."

"Mom…" Sarah shot Connor an apologetic glance.

"What? Don't you make me regret it."

"Don't worry, I promise."

"Okay, everyone in my family officially loves you." Sarah told Connor as they walked out into the cold and over to his car.

"And about my Grandma.." Sarah put in. "She's a hopeless romantic and I think she misses my grandpa."

"I think it's sweet she cares so much." Connor opened the door for her. "I'm guessing she and my Mom would get along pretty well."

Sarah smiled. "Yep, I think so too. How is she doing?"

"It's touch and go." He admitted. "But today was good, she was excited about me going out." Sarah looked over at him. "Honestly, you're the only good thing I can talk about at home."

She wanted to tell him he had more than her to be grateful for but she honestly didn't know if he did.

They hadn't talked about his father much since he'd admitted to her what had happened and she hadn't dared to ask. He looked ashamed as he glanced back."I'm sorry I didn't mean…" he slapped himself mentally, he was being a hypocrite telling her to keep her head up and he could barely think about his crappy home life situation without moping.

"No, it's okay, I get it" she told him, reaching out for his hand. "But let's just do what you said, try and enjoy tonight?" She leaned over to kiss his cheek softly. "After all, we won't see each other for two weeks."

 _Reality hit her. Two weeks without Connor or her friends, having to deal with her family and James, were going to be hard._

"Okay, then, that's what we're doing, having fun."

"Yeah." She grinned, trying to stay positive. "And let's start by clearing our heads."

Connor smiled, turning the car on while Sarah put on some music.

A song they both could belt out to and relax. Sarah could honestly listen to Connor sing all day.

She'd discovered he was a big fan of musical theatre like she was. Or rather her Hamilton poster had given her away. The distance to the school seemed shorter, but they did say time flew when you were having fun.

And that's what they were doing.

 _Having fun_

Connor pulled up and turned off his car. "Should we head inside?" Sarah asked.

"One thing first." He grinned before leaning over to her and kissing her softly.

She opened her eyes and found his firmly closed, their foreheads still pressed together.

"I wanted to do that since Jason opened the door." He admitted softly, opening his eyes.

She was just about to get lost in his blue eyes when a knock came to the window.

 _Emily._

* * *

Sarah bit her lip and opened her door."Are you two coming or are you going to stay making out here all night?"

Sarah blushed as she pushed the door to get out. "Wait, your tie, don't forget it."

Connor smiled, offering her his hand after he'd given his bag a look and chosen the perfect matching one.

"Let's go already!" Emily huffed as Connor swiftly tied his tie and followed her and Sarah to the gym.

"Oh brilliant!" Will huffed at Maggie at the door. "Well see, I shouldn't have come, I can finally go home." He told Jay who was standing with Ethan.

"Come on, it would do you good to get out of the house and that stupid garage." Jay argued back.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked.

"Maggie won't let anyone in without a tie. Says it's black tie formal." Ethan informed them.

"Seriously though?" Jay asked Maggie.

"When you're a senior organising this event, _you_ can make the rules okay? But it said on all the notices, _formal_ which means you have to wear a tie, it was in the small print."

Sarah looked at Connor, she knew they had never seen eye to eye, especially with Natalie but even he had to see how worn out Will looked.

He stared back at into her eyes, almost begging her, but he relented anyway.

"Hey man, I have a few spare ties in my car."

"Oh just great, I'm a Rhodes charity case now!" Will threw his hands up. "Sorry I'm not rich enough to have _spare_ ties."

"Oh, get over yourself." Connor rolled his eyes."I'm trying to help you out here."

"Yeah, by throwing money at the problem." Will sneered.

"Just take the tie, and we'll get in and then you can work on having some _fun,_ remember what that is?" Jay told his brother.

Sarah felt terrible but she was so close she overheard what Jay told Will under his breath. "Man, Nat is finally not going to be somewhere we are, can you just forget about her for _one_ night?"

Will turned his head to Connor, "Fine, I'll take the tie."

Connor laughed, "No need to thank me or anything." He left the group to go and get one of them and brought it back, Maggie finally letting everyone in.

"Hey there's Monique, let's go say hi." Emily dragged Sarah by her hand and started over.

"Save me a dance." Connor told her, "I'm going to call Nat and check on her." He squeezed her hand before letting go.

He then stayed behind, away from the noise and dialed Natalie's number.

"Hey." She answered quickly. "I hope you're having a miserable time without me."

Connor laughed a bit. "Yeah, it's terrible."

"Right." Natalie's voice sounded tired. "How's Sarah? Is she totally swooning over you?"

"Well, as of now my date has been hijacked." Connor told her. "I'll find her in a minute."

"Go already. You don't have to check on me, Henry's coming over."

"Henry?"

"Yeah." Nat said. "He's my date tonight." Connor could picture his best friend biting her lip. "It's kind of sad really, he said he didn't have the guts to ask the girl he wanted to, to the dance. Do you have any idea who it is?"

"Maybe one of Sarah's friends?"

"Really?"

"Well he was flirting with them the other day at Molly's and they're here alone."

"Oh my god, Henry has groupies." Natalie giggled. "Wait... I think he's here. I gotta go. Have fun for us alright?"

Connor smiled. "I'll try."

"You better. It's Sarah's first dance, make it a good one?"

The line went dead and Connor sighed. It was funny and a little sad to be here without Henry and Nat, but he was determined to make sure Sarah had a great time.

* * *

Someone cleared their throat beside Will, making him look over from where he was filling his cup with more punch, "Hi Will."

"Hey Nina." He nodded. She was a friendly face, they had been in the same class forever but since she had started being friends with Ava Bekker, their paths tended not to cross too much.

"So…you're alone here tonight too?" She asked with a half a smile and half a frown as she nodded over to where her crew were dancing while Will's friends were chatting in a group at the edge of the dancefloor.

"Something like that." He admitted.

"Why are you alone, aren't your friends right there?"

"Couldn't I say the same things about you?" She asked, nodding towards his friends.

He fought a smile, "I suppose you could."

He took his time with his drink, moving it from hand to hand, delaying time, he wasn't in the mood for this stupid party, but he also didn't want to let Jay down.

"You seem like you're avoiding something." Nina glanced at him from the corner of her eye.

He scoffed and nodded. But then looked right back at her. " _Couldn't I say the same thing about you?"_

He got a laugh out of her. A sound that seemed so sudden and happy, it took him by surprise that it actually made him smile.

"Well I was friends with Ava but you know how she's been acting lately." Nina shrugged with a sigh, "And she's not even here, her parents took her to an early Holiday trip to Fiji or something."

"That's rich people for ya." Will smirked into his drink.

"I guess." Nina smiled shyly.

They drifted further down the table when other kids came over, not yet wanting to escape the conversation and having to go back to where they came from.

"What's your excuse?" She asked as she took a sip of her drink.

Will laughed humorlessly. "They expect me to be a ball of fun, but I'm just not feeling it lately."

"Because of Natalie?" She asked and his eyes shot to hers, "It's so much to take on at our age, it must be hard, not being able to help your friend. I heard you and Connor got into a fight with Jeff?"

"Yeah." He internally gave a sigh of relief, not a lot of people knew about his feelings for Nat. Everyone thought him and Connor were upset over Nat's circumstances and Jeff's reaction to it. "She mightn't even be able to come back to school in a while, with the baby."

"I can't even imagine. You're a really good friend Will."

He wished that was the extent of it.

He gave her a tight smile, "So, you looking forward to the holidays?" He needed to change the subject. And he was slightly delighted at the surprised but happy expression on Nina's face when he did, opening up a longer conversation.

They ended up being alone together, talking more than they had in their entire school life hidden by the bleachers at the edge of the gym.

* * *

"Thanks for being here Henry" Natalie said as they opened their respective Ben & Jerry's ice creams buckets.

"Are you kidding? Free ice cream and Reese witherspoon? Beats any stupid dance." He grinned at her.

They took a few spoonfuls and tried to watch the movie. "Connor will be okay without us, won't he?" Nat said after a moment.

"Yeah, he's got Sarah, that girl can keep him under control."

Natalie nodded, the last thing she needed was to have to find out Connor had gotten into trouble with Will or something. "Plus, I'm pretty sure he'll be too busy making out with her all night to get into too much trouble." Henry put in. "Or think about us."

"I know, I don't think we've ever seen him like this."

"Nope. He seems happy, like real happy, even with all the crap that he's been dealing with lately."

"Including my lack of better judgement." Natalie said grimly.

"That's not…"

"I know Henry, but he's Connor, he will try and fix this, he even talked to my Mom when he heard I might have to leave school."

 _Yep, that sounded like Connor._ "Well all I know is that, that kid is going to have two uncles who will love it a lot." Natalie turned to look at him, she was already getting emotional as he took her hand. "I mean it, alright? No matter what, we're always going to be here."

"Thanks Henry. You're the best." Nat kissed his cheek. "Okay, enough moping on my part, are you going to tell me who was the lucky girl you chickened out on?"

"Doesn't matter." He told her quickly.

"It so does Henry, maybe I can talk you into talking to her next Saturday."

Henry looked at her. "What do you mean?"

"It's Claire, isn't it?"

Henry's cheeks powered up. "No, Claire? Who's… how did you know?" He rambled on and Nat giggled.

"I'm a girl, I can sense these things." She told him sweetly. "And I've known since forever, I was just waiting for you to admit it. I mean she hasn't been around much since she's been in school but now that she's back for the holidays at least…"

"Please don't say anything to Connor…" Henry said, avoiding her gaze.

"I won't, I promise." She offered him her pinky. That was it, she couldn't break it.

Henry smiled. "How's she doing? Connor says she's avoiding her Mom."

"It isn't like that." Henry was quick to defend her. "She's got her Dad on her back with school and Connor isn't exactly supportive either."

"Man, you do love her, don't you? I'm not judging Claire here Henry but Connor is in pain too, he's the one dealing with it on a daily basis."

Henry bit his lip. "I know, I wish we could do something."

"We do what we always have." Natalie told him. "We are there for them no matter what."

"No matter what his Dad thinks of us."

"Right. He's horrible, but that's exactly why we can't back down Henry. If we do, Connor will not only lose his Mom. He'll lose himself."

"I still don't know how he stands being in the same room with him." Henry said. "You think his Mom knows?"

Connor had told them about Cornelius's affair and they both felt so angry and sad, Elizabeth had been like a mom to them too, in spite of her husband always looking down on them.

"I don't know…"

"My mom told me Liza doesn't have much time left, she might not even make it to next Christmas."

* * *

"Hey, there you are." She didn't even need to turn around to recognise the voice that sounded behind her. "You owe me that dance."

She turned around and bit her lip feeling like an idiot. "But I don't know how to slow dance…"

He had probably been to hundreds of events and she felt ridiculously awkward for not even knowing how to slow dance. She had hoped to get away with a fast dance where she could pretend to know what she was doing. But having Connor close and know she was making mistakes, well, she didn't want to ruin her first ever official school dance. "I'm a good teacher." Connor said with a smile, never taking his eyes off hers.

"Yeah…" Sarah remained unconvinced.

"Plus, I hardly call that dancing, they're just holding each other up." He scoffed as he looked at the dancefloor. "Please?" he asked, somehow managing to look cuter than normal.

"I'm going to look silly, I have no idea how to do this.."

"You can never look silly to me." He cut her off and took her hand.

But then again how could she pass up getting to slow dance with Connor when he looked at her _like that?_

"Okay." She said, "Lead the way, literally, please do." She laughed and he did too as he wound his way through the crowd and then pulled her close. Causing her heart to start beating like a jackhammer. He curled one arm around her waist and took her right hand and put it on his shoulder, then took her left hand in his. Sarah was pretty sure actual slow dances like waltz required some kind of steps and frames but she much preferred their own version of dancing.

Where Connor pulled her over to him so she could even feel him breathe and she even dared lean her head onto his shoulder. He hummed his own tune, completely different from the song that was playing and yet they managed to keep a beat all of their own, moving in a slow circle. "You know what?" Connor murmured.

"What?" She didn't know what she was so scared about, she could stay like this forever.

"I'm really, _really_ , glad you moved to Chicago." He placed a kiss into her hair.

"Me too."

The rest of the night went by in a blur, having Emily pull her away for a dance with their friends the second the next fast song came on. Somehow Connor and Will managed to avoid bumping into each other again which made the time go easier. Jay spent most of the time on his phone, something that the others did not let him live down.

"Finally got Erin's number huh?" Someone asked and Sarah had never seen Jay go red before.

"Shut up." He mumbled but couldn't help but checking his phone again.

The last song was somewhere between fast and slow and Connor managed to get Sarah back on the dancefloor and twirl her around, making her feel like a princess as they laughed so hard at the group's crazy dance moves that Sarah couldn't remember ever having so much _fun_.

And then making out with him after they'd managed to sneak away from everyone; God, she never thought that would be her. Making out with her boyfriend in a corner by the second's floor lockers.

"So, I know we're already more than oficial but…" Connor said as they stood breaking contact. "I feel like maybe I didn't do this right the first time around…"

Sarah smiled. He seemed incredibly nervous and it was adorable.

"Connor…what…"

"Here." He said sheepishly, he took his leather bracelet from his wrist and gave it to her. "Sarah Reese, do you want to be my girlfriend?"

She bit her lip, glancing at his blue eyes. "I kind of thought I already was."

"Well maybe I'm just giving you a second chance to bolt." He admitted shyly.

She glanced down at his bracelet and put it on. "Well, this is me staying put and saying yes, again."

And he kissed her, beaming. Sarah didn't think she'd ever get tired of having him kiss her like that.

They left with the crowd, Sarah promising to tell Emily and Monique all about her date the next day and got into Connor's car for the drive home. Right on time for her later curfew.

She still couldn't quite believe he was real. Sitting beside her, driving her home, not thinking she was some smart freak and looking ridiculously gorgeous in his suit.

They played the music in the background as they chatted about their evening and their plans for the holidays. It was the first time Sarah was sad to be visiting Michigan, she was going to miss her Chicago family.

Connor on his part didn't seem too excited to see his father for obvious reasons, but he was looking forward to his annual gathering with Henry and Natalie's got out into the freezing air and opened the door for her and they joined their cold hands together for the short walk to the door.

"Thanks for tonight Connor, I had a great time."

"So did I. Thanks for coming with me."

She stood on her front steps in her pretty dress and her light coat and didn't even feel cold when he was standing that close. It felt like gravity that pulled them together.

Because before she could overthink it all, they met halfway and his lips were on hers. His hand was tangled in her hair and she wound her arms around his middle to hold onto him as the kiss deepened.

Suddenly two weeks apart seemed like forever and she never wanted to let go.

Not when he kissed her like _this_.

"Eeww!" Jason squealed and Sarah jumped. Enough to bang her nose against Connor's. She was pretty sure she looked dazed, her hair had to be a mess by now and her lips felt swollen.

"Jason…" Sarah squeaked at the sight of her little brother opening the door.

"Why are you kissing?" He asked. And Sarah risked a look at Connor, he looked as flustered as she felt.

"Eh, well, the thing is Jason…"

"Are you getting married now?" Jason asked, "Because Mom used to kiss Dad and they were married." He told them clearly.

Sarah made some sort of surprised sound. "No, no Jason…"

"Then why are you kissing?"

"Well I...I…we…" Sarah was stuck for words.

"There you are! Come on Monkey, it's past your bedtime." Juliet appeared behind her brother and Sarah breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well, hello you two, I hope we didn't interrupt anything." She grinned at the pair who looked like little kids caught stealing sweets.

"Connor and Sarah were kissing." Jason told Juliet. "They have to be married to kiss. Mom won't like this." Juliet smiled at the kids as she left the door open and ushered Jason inside.

"I better go." Connor told her.

"Yeah, I…" Sarah bit her lip. "I better go make sure he's okay…"

Connor smiled. "Yeah, if you want me to talk to him, I can… try at least."

"No, it's better if I do it." She said sweetly. "Thank you, for always caring so much for him."

"Of course." He smiled. "I'll call you when I get home?"

"Merry Christmas Connor." She leaned to kiss his cheek, but then Connor wrapped his arms around her.

"Merry Christmas." He said into her hair. "We'll see each other soon, alright?"

"Yep, for sure…" she smiled, breaking the hug "oh wait…" she then took his scarf, which had managed to keep her warm in the cold December weather. "You keep it, looks better on you anyway." He winked at her, holding her hand for a second and then turning away.

Sarah stood there by the door, as he waved at her and got in the car.

She then made her way upstairs to check on Jason but he was already asleep, good, it would give her time to come up with a good explanation about her and Connor.

If there was ever any for her inquisitive little brother.

* * *

 **Sooo... How was Rheese at the Christmas Dance and who else loves Nat and the boy's friendship? We'll see you soon!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 19**

Sarah was up before Jason the next morning and she spent the extra time writing ideas of a way she could explain her and Connor's new relationship, while also spending a lot of time admiring her new bracelet, the worn leather reminded her of Connor.

 _Like she needed more distractions in her life, but this was one she could live with._

She went downstairs to get some breakfast, surprised to see her mother and grandmother up and cooking."Oh look who's up, did you have a good time last night sweetie?" Her Mom asked.

After the run in with Jason and the fact that her grandmother had practically caught her kissing a boy, Sarah had ran straight for her bedroom to avoid any questioning. She guessed now it was time to face the music.

"Yeah it was really good." She couldn't help but smile.

"Well it should be considering you got 'married'" Her Grandmother smirked, dishing out her pancakes.

Sarah blushed, "I don't know how to explain it to Jason!" She whined. It was a new experience, usually she was the one able to get through to her brother when no one else could. But now she felt lost.

"Explain what exactly?" her Mom asked, Juliet apparently hadn't gone into much detail but Susan shot Sarah a look, ready to shrink under her Mom's best lawyer stare, it could break anyone. "Well, Connor asked me to be his girlfriend, I mean officially anyway…"

"Did he now?" She asked, her tone giving nothing away.

"Yeah." Sarah admitted. "And I...really like him."

"Don't you think you're a bit young to be dating boys? You should be focusing on school."

Sarah's phone beeped. "Is that Connor? Don't tell me he's taking up all your time, that's not good for you."

"It's Emily." Sarah argued back as her phone beeped again, "And Jay."

"I'm still doing good in school and I have friends now too. I thought you liked Connor?"

"I'm not saying I don't like him,I'm just concerned."

"About what?"

"Well, didn't you say his best friend has gotten pregnant? And your last math test result was a B plus. You're a straight A student, I'm just worried about how everything is going since you got involved with him. He seems like a nice boy, but you never know."

Sarah felt like she had been hit by a bucket of cold water.

"Susan, give the girl a break. Connor _is_ a nice boy. And if you can't trust him, you should trust Sarah. She's the most sensible girl I know. So what if she didn't get an A on _one_ test?There are other things to live for than just grades." Her Grandmother came to her defense.

"And Natalie is my friend too, you don't know anything about her or what she's been through." Sarah butted in.

"And see? You know I didn't like this move to Chicago, but have you ever seen her smile this much because I never have. Look at her, she's happy and she has a group of friends and a boy who seems completely smitten by her. Let's not get all worked up this early in the morning." Juliet concluded.

"So, tell me about the dance. What's the gossip?" Juliet smiled and sat by Sarah as they started eating. Her Mom just sighed wearily and sat down too as Sarah proceeded to tell them about how Will and Nina seemed awfully close the previous night and all the crazy dance moves her friends could pull. She left out the part about making out with Connor in a school hallway for her Mom's sake.

Jason appeared in the doorway as they were finishing up, rubbing his eyes and yawning.

"Sarah!" Her brother seemed surprised to see her, "Where's Connor?" He asked as he took a seat at the table.

"Connor went home last night." Sarah told him as he eyed their Mom warily.

"Are you in trouble?" He asked his big sister.

"Why would she be in trouble?" Their Mom asked. Jason shifted in his seat and glanced around quickly, sure signs he was nervous. He clammed up at the question, Sarah's heart went out to her little brother who didn't want her to get in trouble but also didn't know how to lie.

"Because Jason opened the door last night as Connor was giving me a goodnight kiss." Even saying the words out loud made her blush."Right, buddy?"

"Does Sarah have to live with Connor now?" Jason asked, his eyes filling with tears.

"Why on earth would she do that?"

"Because you and Daddy kissed and you were married, is Sarah married?"

"Jason, you know how… Ellie and Carl from Up? Remember how they were friends and Ellie kissed Carl, because she liked him?" Sarah interjected.

He frowned in concentration, "Yes. She was his friend and then they kissed and they bought a flying house, well Ellie wasn't there when Carl made it fly but.."

"Well…Connor likes spending time with me like that and sometimes we kiss now."

"Are you still friends? Cause Ellie and Carl were…"

"Of course we are."

"Do you have to move?"

"No, definitely not, how would I see you everyday if I did?"

"If you move, I move." Jason told her before reaching for his pancake.

Sarah broke into a smile. _She loved that kid._

* * *

It was after breakfast when Sarah was packing her bags for the trip when the doorbell rang."Sarah!" Her Mom called.

"Yeah?" She glanced down the stairs, who on earth would be here today of all days? She prayed it wasn't Emily. She still hadn't told her about yesterday.

"Connor's here for you."

Sarah didn't need telling twice, she took the stairs two steps at a time.

"You can talk in the living room." Her Mom said as she eyed Connor and led them into the room, where she opened the door into the kitchen and sat at the table, pretending to read but Sarah knew she was listening in. She guessed this was what came with the territory of having her first boyfriend.

 _Boyfriend._ Even the word made her giddy with excitement.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Sarah asked as they sat on the couch and Connor placed the bag he was holding down.

"Good to see you too." He teased with a smile.

"No! I'm happy you're here, it's just I wasn't expecting to see you."

"That was the point. I didn't know if I could make it in time before you left and I didn't want to tell you in case, but I got some Christmas presents for you all. Which you know, I wanted you to have now and not in two weeks." She loved the way he blushed slightly and seemed embarrassed, but she thought it was too sweet of him.

"Well I'm glad you're here anyway, but you didn't have to get me anything though." She told him.

"As if I'm not going to get my girlfriend a present for Christmas." He grinned. She would have kissed him if her Mom wasn't watching them like a hawk.

He handed her a slim wrapped box out of the bag.

"Can I open it now?" She asked as she took it from him. The paper was slightly askew and crumpled but it made it even more special, because she was sure he had wrapped it himself.

"Sure you can."

She unwrapped the paper carefully and opened the delicate box to reveal a silver necklace.

"Oh Connor, this is beautiful." She gasped.

"You like it?" He sounded relieved. "I spent ages in the store trying to find the perfect one and then the lady told me I could actually customise something, I had to wait for it to be finished….and I was worried you wouldn't like it but…" She cut him off as she flung her arms around his neck. Enjoying the smell of his cologne.

"Thank you, I love it."

"You do?"

"Of course." She beamed at him.

Connor smiled back. "Good...can I help you put it on?" He offered taking the small jewel from her, Sarah shivered a little bit when he lifted her hair gently and locked it. "Perfect."

The small necklace had two music notes in it. Like them, two notes that seemed to fit together.

"Connor…" Jason appeared by the stairs. "You can't take Sarah, you are not married so she can't go live with you."

Connor shot a look Sarah's way. She was about to speak when he interjected.

"I wasn't planning on it bud. I just came by to wish you guys a Merry Christmas."

"Oh." Jason said. "That's okay then."

"And also, I have something for you."

His eyes widened. "For me?"

"Yep." Connor grinned, grabbing the bag that rested on the couch. "Merry Christmas buddy." Jason took the package from him, shaking it slowly. "Mom, look what Connor got me, can I open it now?" He said to Susan who now stood by the kitchen's door.

"Sure, did you say thank you?"

"Thank you." He said, dropping on his knees and ripping off the paper.

"Sarah! It's Bumblebee." Jason's eyes widened at the toy. "He's Optimus best Autobot. Isn't he Connor?"

"For sure." Connor smiled. Sarah didn't think she could be more in awe of her boyfriend's heart,

"Why don't you take him upstairs, you don't want to forget him when we leave." Sarah offered.

Jason nodded dashing off.

"Thank you for that." Sarah smiled. "As if he didn't like you enough already."

"I'm glad he likes it," Connor said, "Oh, and this is for you too, it's from my Mom, she wouldn't tell me what it was." He handed Sarah another present.

"Oh wow I wasn't expecting anything from her, that's so nice…" She said as she gently unwrapped the fancy paper. "She remembered…" Sarah gasped.

Connor leaned over to have a look, "Remembered what?"

Sarah turned over the box of stationary, that was probably worth more than the entire contents of her bedroom. "I was talking to your Mom for a while as you and Henry were getting snacks or something the other day and Nat hadn't arrived and we were talking about school. And she said she was impressed with everything I do and now like tutoring you guys and I mentioned trying to juggle everything. I was rambling on about how I wanted a good diary to organise my time because I was thinking of moving up in English but then I was worried about keeping on top of everything and…" Sarah shrugged, "She said she knew I could do it."

"That does sound like Mom." Connor smiled.

"Yes so please thank her for me." Sarah told him.

"I will." Connor promised, "Oh and I actually picked up something for your Mom and when my Mom heard your Grandma was in town she sent over some of her special recipe cake she had Katie make it ." He said, giving Sarah the rest of the bag.

His phone rang. "Hey,Claire…yeah, I can get home now, okay….bye."

"Sorry." He told Sarah, "My sister just heard our Dad is coming home today to get ready for some event or other tonight and she doesn't want to be there alone with him and Mom, she's terrified she'll let it slip." He sighed and Sarah's heart ached, he was taking on so much, first his Mom and now keeping his Dad at arms length while pretending everything was okay.

"I'll walk you to the door." She said, as they got up.

He said goodbye to her Mom and followed her out

"Sorry I have to leave. I'm going to miss you."

"Me too. Two weeks seems really long." She admitted, playing with the bracelet on her wrist.

"I'll call you when I can and we'll still text right?"

Sarah nodded, "I hope you have a good Christmas Connor." She said, pulling him close for a hug where she tried to memorise what he felt like.

"You too Sarah." He said before he kissed her sweetly. "Have a safe trip."

And with that he was gone.

"Are you going to kiss all the time now?" Jason asked from where he was on his way back down the stairs with a slightly confused expression on his face.

* * *

Henry had been through a lot of busy days in his life, with his seemingly ever expanding family and a diner to help run as well as school and his extracurriculars, so much, he thought he was used to it.

That was what he thought every single year until Christmas came around. With another baby and now even more family relatives calling around. The Herrmann household was crazy.

That was why his favourite day of the Holidays was actually Christmas Eve. The calm before the Santa storm and the day in which Elizabeth, Claire and Connor came. The entire Manning family were around too and the kids always had a Christmas themed movie day.

"Every time I see you, you get taller Henry!" Elizabeth exclaimed as she reached up to kiss his cheek.

"Lovely to see you too Liza." Henry laughed as he opened the door and let Connor push Elizabeth's wheelchair in. It hurt him to see her like this. She was like a second Mom to him and the wheelchair and pale complexion just reminded him that she might not see another Christmas.

"Hey man." Connor nodded as he passed by.

"Hi Henry." Claire smiled and kissed his cheek before following the rest of her family inside.

"Henry close that door, we don't want the cold getting in." His Mom scolded as she greeted them. Henry regathered himself and closed the door.

Their parents were catching up before he made it into the living room with them. Nat and her family was already there.

"Henry." She said as she stared at Connor.

"What?"

"Look…" Nat pointed at Connor's wrist. He couldn't see anything.

But that was the point, Connor's leather bracelet was gone. Henry arched an eyebrow at her. He remembered the day they'd gotten those. The leather bracelets were a bit of a family tradition. His Dad and Elizabeth had one each from when they had been friends as kids. They were 10 when they had been given them by his Dad and Elizabeth at Millennium Park one day before her diagnosis.

 _Her 3 musketeers. She'd glanced at Hermann as she handed the kids each a leather matching bracelet._

" _And this way you'll know, you'll always have each other to count on." Elizabeth had said._

 _The bracelets meant they were more than best friends, they were family._

It had been Natalie that had came up with the idea of giving them away.

She had known eventually, they would grow up and find love and she never wanted their partners to take them away from their group. So she had made them pinky promise that when they each found someone they were serious about they would give them their bracelets and it would mean bringing them into their group, not separating them.

They really hadn't hanged out a lot the last week. Natalie had been busy with babysitting and Henry with the diner.

And Connor had had to deal with keeping his father's affair a secret.

He'd been worn out, but he couldn't imagine how Claire was feeling, having caught him.

He brushed it off. Cornelius wasn't here. His Mom was and he was determined not to have him ruin today.

Elizabeth, Chris and Cindy were having a chat and Claire was keeping Nat's parents occupied.

"Hey." Connor came over and sat on Nat's other side, "How are you feeling today?"

Nat pulled a face, "I don't want to jinx it but I think the nausea is wearing off."

"Well that's good right?" Connor asked.

"Yeah, it just means I'm closer to having this baby though." She whispered in case her parents heard the topic of conversation, the less mentioned about her pregnancy the better.

"It's my last Christmas as a kid."

"Hey, we still have two more years until we're 18," Henry butted in, "And I plan on always enjoying Christmas like a kid."

"Next year I'll _have_ a kid." Nat pointed out, her hand drifting close to the baby bump that was becoming noticeable.

"Yeah, and we'll spoil you both rotten." Connor told her putting his arm around her.

"Nat sandwich!" Henry declared and reached around her from his side, squeezing Natalie between the two of them.

Claire rolled her eyes with a smile. "You three are still such goofballs." Natalie felt Henry's hold slacken at the observation.

"When did everything changed, guys?" Natalie said when they broke the hug. "When did we grow up?"

"Not everything has Nat." Connor said, wrapping an arm around her.

"Yes it has." She said. "I'm having a baby, at sixteen and I know you tried talking my mom out of the tutoring, but it might be my only option Connor. I'm keeping it and I can't put more pressure on my parents…"

"Then let us help you …" Connor said. "We can hire a nanny and you can stay in school, I'm sure my Mom won't mind to pay for it."

"I can't ask her that." Natalie said. "It's my problem."

"It might be but you don't have to deal with it alone." She was nearly crying now, and was glad when the adults decided to start setting up for dinner.

They all chatted for a while before 'feeding time at the zoo', as Henry put it, came about. Time to make food for the gaggle of Herrmann and Manning kids as well as the adults.

Natalie laughed along as they helped out, it was a good thing they were all trained at Molly's.

* * *

Sarah sighed as she walked down the stairs to the kitchen where her grandmother was cooking. Everyone was out to Santa's village.

Except for Jason who had remained upstairs watching a movie.

Nothing in the world would make Jason be excited about meeting Santa. He'd argue the _real_ Santa couldn't be at the mall. He was probably too busy getting ready for tonight.

"What's wrong sweetie?" Juliet asked. "Boy trouble?"

"Not exactly." Sarah said. "I miss him grandma? Is that stupid? I mean, everything is happening too fast…" Juliet put down the knife she was holding and sat beside her. "But I think of him.."

"And that makes you nervous?" Sarah nodded.

"I'm not like the girls Connor is supposed to like." She continued, playing with the leather bracelet.

"And what kind of girls are those?"

"Girls that can afford to give him a present. A nice one."

Juliet smiled. "Sweetheart, I'm sure Connor doesn't mind about that.."

"No, but I do! It's just a small reminder that maybe Ava Bekker was right." Juliet arched an eyebrow. "She's a girl from school who.."

"Is probably older and has money, right? The girl Connor is supposed to like?"

Sarah glanced at her grandmother. "You know grandpa and I met at school too, we were a bit older than you."

Sarah had heard the story, her grandparents story could might as well be your typical Lifetime Movie.

The popular girl had fallen for the geek and she hadn't minded he wasn't the one person society had picked out for her.

But here the roles were reversed and on top of that Connor was an heir, to a lot of money, he had a reputation and a legacy to keep.

And she was Sarah Reese from Michigan.

 _A Nobody._

Her phone buzzed. "You got a good boy there." Juliet said. "And it might be happening a little fast, but that's what makes it a bit more fun, isn't it?"

Sarah smiled, walking over to the couch on the living room.

"Hey." She answered the phone.

"Hi, Merry almost Christmas."

"You too." She smiled. "How's it going?"

"Dinner is not even halfway done but it's fun. And you?"

"Everyone went to meet Santa."

"And you're not a big fan?"

Sarah bit her lip. "More like Jason. He says the real Santa is busy working..."

"Right." Connor laughed. "How's he doing?" There was a genuine tone of worry in his voice. He didn't want Jason to be upset with him. Sarah had told him she'd tried to explain their relationship to him and he had seemed happy with the idea. Although he still wasn't convinced about the whole kissing thing.

"He's good. Loving his Christmas present."

"Awesome." He piped up.

"Connor! Get off the phone…" Sarah heard Natalie call. "It's your turn to stir. "Hey Sarah." She heard her say into the phone. "He'll call you back okay? Oh and

Merry Christmas."

"Sorry."

"It's okay, everyone is probably on their way back anyway. I'll call you later?"

"Definitely."

And then the line was quiet. "How's Connor?" Juliet asked as Sarah walked back in.

"He's okay. He has this thing with Natalie and Henry and their families…"

"Oh? No fancy dinner then huh?"

"No…."

"I'm guessing that has his mother written all over." Juliet said. "You did say, she's really nice."

"She is." Sarah smiled. "Amazing, actually."

"See? It's not all money and prestige, is it?"

* * *

Lily settled in beside Connor when they all sat down to eat with a huge smile on her face and he made sure to listen to her, Nat smiled at the sight, there was no doubt, Connor would be an amazing uncle to her baby, Henry too.

That was when Olivia walked over to Olivia, , maybe jealous of all the the attention her sister was getting, but she saw her smile at Connor as he made her part of the conversation too, Natalie would recognize the smile on Olivia's face anywhere, it was the one Henry had worn from the age of 10 to 13 whenever Claire was around.

Elizabeth looked happy too. Of course, it was hard not to see the grey complexion and tired eyes but she looked happy and that was what mattered. Connor never left her side the entire way through dinner.

Everyone drifted away after dessert, leaving Elizabeth and Christopher with the older kids.

"Okay, is anyone going to mention the elephant in the room?" Claire asked.

Natalie froze, they had been super close once, Claire had been the big sister she never had. She had showed her how to wear makeup, took her shopping and showed her how to put boys in their place. But now Nat was worried Claire was going to insult her about her baby.

"What?" Connor asked and Claire looked at his arm.

Henry stifled a laugh.

"Oh come on, aren't those bracelets like the ultimate symbol of your friendship or something?"

"So? What do you care?" Connor asked, Nat saw Henry sit up straighter at the hard tone of voice directed at Claire.

"Connor…" his mother chided.

"Well you gave it to Sarah didn't you? Isn't that kind of a big deal?"

 _How had his sister known?_

"Hold on, you gave it to Sarah?" Herrmann jumped in.

"Yeah…" Connor said shyly.

"But I didn't even give mine to Jeff…" Nat admitted. Connor shot her a look.

"You didn't tell me you gave it away." Elizabeth said softly.

"Well, she doesn't know what it means yet, I want to give her time, I didn't want to make a big deal out of it and scare her." Connor explained.

"It is a big deal though." Henry pointed out.

"Yeah and he didn't tell us." Natalie lamented

"I thought you two liked Sarah?" Connor asked.

"We do! Sarah is great Connor, seriously." She reassured him.

"Yeah man, I owe her my life." Henry told him.

"Oh yeah you're getting a car aren't you?" Claire jumped looked like Christmas' had come at once when Claire started a conversation with him.

"Don't you think it was a bit early to give it to her?" Elizabeth asked her son in hushed tones a bit later as the conversation came into a halt.

"No." And that was Connor. Once he had something in his head, he didn't doubt it. He'd go all out in making sure to let them know just how important they were. Natalie wished her life could be as black and white.

They all decided to rejoin the others back in the living room where Cindy was threatening to break out the old home videos as them as babies. Natalie cringed. Next Christmas she'd be showing off her baby's own videos. She excused herself to go to the bathroom and recompose herself. Sometimes it all hit her at once. She might only still feel like a kid but she was going to have to grow up pretty fast.

She was on the way back down the corridor when she heard voices in the kitchen.

"Is there anything we can do?" Christopher asked.

"No I'm afraid not, the doctors says it's too advanced, I just don't want them to know just how bad it is yet." Elizabeth replied.

"I won't say a word."

"I know, it's just…hard. Knowing this is my last Christmas with them when they think they're so grown up but they are still my babies…" Natalie had never heard Connor's Mom cry before. She was frozen on the spot. " And I won't be there for any of it, Claire finishing college, Connor's high school graduation, their weddings, their own babies…. I won't be there to answer the phone if they need me." She glanced at Hermann as he offered her his hand.

"Who's going to hold Claire as she cries from another break up or help Connor with dealing with his father…"

"You are here now, and that's what matters." Chris reminded her. "And _I promise you Lizzie_ , I'll _take care of those two like they were my own._ They're never going to be alone, they have a family right here."

Elizabeth gave a sob, "Thank you Chris, you have no idea how much that means to me. I always told my father you were a good man, you know?" She managed a smile.

"I know. Pity I didn't come with as much money as your husband huh?"

"Yeah, and having him sleeping around really just is the icing on the cake, although I'm more worried about Connor and Claire, it would break their hearts if they ever found out."

Natalie's heart dropped, they _already knew Cornelius was cheating?_

"I should have picked you." Elizabeth said and Natalie jumped. _Herrmann and Elizabeth had been a thing?_ She knew she couldn't listen in anymore.

She raced down the hallway and back into the living room where she squeezed in next to Claire as Lily had taken the spot nestled up into Connor for the Christmas movie.

 _Natalie could not brush off what she'd learned._

 _How could Elizabeth and Hermann still be friends and so close? Her and Jeff hadn't been able to managed two words in the last couple months._

 _But why had she chosen Cornelius over him?_

 _And how long had they both known about Cornelius's affair?_

"It's time for presents kiddos, before all the ones under 10 start falling asleep." Hermann called, pulling Nat back from her thoughts as she gathered with the rest around the tree.

Gift exchange wasn't fancy or anything. It was more of a Secret Santa thing.

Claire had gotten Henry this year. "For your new car." She beamed at him and Natalie was sure he was going to faint when she kissed his cheek, but Henry just gave her an awkward hug and sat back down, staring at his new keychain. It was a hockey stick.

All the kids went around giving their presents. The only rule of the Secret Santa was that you couldn't get someone from your own family.

Connor had gotten Lily this year and he'd managed to find an Anna doll she didn't happen to have.

"Well, I got my man Connor…" Hermann announced, standing from his seat. Connor smiled. "I am not your godparent for nothing kid, Merry Christmas." Connor opened the small box slowly, "I knitted those just for you."

"Yes, I'm hoping they don't have blood on them.." Cindy said with a grin.

"Is that why they're half done?" Luke, Henry's brother asked.

"No," Hermann said, rolling his eyes. "Kids like them like that, with holes on their fingers, don't listen to him.I try to keep up with the latest trends." He winked. "Come on and give me a hug so we can just keep going huh?" Connor wrapped his arms around Hermann.

"Well, I think it's best if we all start saying our goodbyes now or Santa won't come."

Cindy said later on as she carried the baby and the youngest kids upstairs. "Come on kids, hustle.."

"Mommy, I left cookies and milk for Santa." Max Herman said, "He can't not come."

"He won't if you are all awake…" Cindy put in. "Come on, give Daddy a kiss."

Connor watched as Hermann held on to the kids and gave them goodnight kisses, as they giggled, he sometimes envied that, it wasn't like he would want them now but Cornelius had never been that warm to him and Claire. A nice shake and a brief hug was more than enough. "Sweetheart?" Elizabeth called, Claire held her mother's wheelchair handles as they watched all the Herman brood head up the stairs after saying their goodnights, soon the Mannings followed, leaving just them with Cindy and Chris. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah." Connor smiled as she held his hand.

"Ah, quiet, I don't even know what that is anymore." Chris smiled at them.

"Liz, it was great to see you guys, Merry Christmas."

"You too, thank you for having us." Elizabeth said, breaking Cindy's hug.

"Of course, you are family Lizzie." Hermann assured her. "Come here you." He hugged Clare. "You'll be going back to Campus after break?"

"Yep, I hope you don't miss me that much."

"Are you kidding? I do already." He said. "Just don't be a stranger, alright?"

Claire didn't reply, but instead shot her brother a look.

They made it to the car and Connor and Chris helped Elizabeth inside. "You take care of her." Hermann said to the boy. Connor smiled.

"Always."

"Good man." He hugged Connor tightly. "And you best be good to Sarah you hear?"

Connor smiled into the hug as Hermann broke it, ruffling his hair. "Honor that bracelet?" Hermann gave him a small slap on the cheek as he climbed in the car.

* * *

Sarah dragged herself off to bed after watching another Christmas movie with her Grandma after all her other cousins had gone to sleep. She may or may not have had her cell phone on hand in case Connor called. Which he hadn't.

It was nearly midnight so she tried to justify that with a house full of people and his Mom to take care of that calling her back had just slipped his mind, by mistake.

But as she lay in bed, all the doubts crept back in. Maybe he was annoyed that she hadn't gotten him a present, maybe he had gone to see Ava, maybe she had been annoying him.

Jason was snoring soundly from the other bed in the room, he had gone to bed nearly after dinner, claiming that he couldn't be too careful about what time Santa might come. He needed to be asleep.

Her phone lit up in the dark and Sarah dived for it.

 _Connor_.

She quietly slipped out of bed, putting the phone to her ear. "Hello?" She whispered as she grabbed a jacket and sat on the bottom of the stairs.

"Hey, sorry it's so late, I only got home, I was hoping to catch you before you fell asleep." Connor said.

"It's okay, I couldn't sleep anyway." Sarah admitted, "Did you have a good time today?"

"Yeah it was great, we do it every year, it makes my Christmas. Better than any social obligations we have to attend." He sighed. "I missed you there though, it felt weird being with Nat and Henry without you."

That said a lot, considering they were his childhood friends.

"I missed you too." She told him. "How is Nat doing?"

He proceeded to tell her about the day, about how Nat was dealing with it being her last Christmas as not a Mom and how Henry herded the kids around and how happy his Mom had been

She started to yawn after half an hour, maybe she really was tired after all, she was just happy she got to hear his voice.

"Sorry, I'm keeping you awake." Connor said, "You should go to bed, I'll talk to you tomorrow Sarah. Merry Christmas. Sweet dreams."

And sweet were all the dreams she had since Connor had given her his bracelet.

Since he'd showed her just how much she could matter.

* * *

 **Awww how cute are Rheese? We're all rooting so hard for them, right? Dun, dun, dun... talk about a twist with Herrmann and Elizabeth. What did you guys think?**


	20. Chapter 20

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 20.**

Sarah had spent the entire evening on tenterhooks. The Christmas holidays back in Michigan had been good, Jason having gotten all he asked for from Santa and her getting to spend more time with her Grandma. When she wasn't entertaining her younger cousins or texting her friends or Connor, she spent the time going through the new books her Mom had gotten her for Christmas. They were the textbooks for the AP classes she was considering taking and she loved the challenge, they were certainly not like the ones she had to tutor her friends from. Those were just your regular Highschool textbooks

But she couldn't focus on the new books this evening. They had gotten back from Michigan that morning and after they had unpacked, James had shown up. At her Mom's request. Sarah supposed it was to keep him on the good side.

And not have him talking of taking Jason away again.

But she couldn't focus on anything, trying to be on her best behaviour so James wouldn't have any more complaints. She spent the time playing board games with James and Jason and pretended to study.

She couldn't even call Connor because if Jason heard Connor's name, he was sure to bring up the entire ' _Sarah's marrying Connor'_ situation. He even asked her on a daily basis over the holidays if she was leaving soon.

Even when Monique had asked her to the New Years Eve party she was throwing at her house, Sarah's Mom had put her foot down, the day and night were family time. Not friend time. Sarah had priorities with Jason and school, and they had nothing to do with being friends with people who looked out for her, if her Mom had anything to say about it.

"You're spending an awful lot of time on those books huh?" James asked from where he was setting up a lego set he had gotten Jason for Christmas. "How are you finding them?"

Sarah looked up from where she had been writing the same line over and over again, paying no attention to what she was reading.

"They're good. Thanks." She said, warily. She didn't know where she stood with him. "I like the challenge but they aren't too difficult."

"Really?" he raised his eyebrows, "Because I had a look at a few of them after lunch and they're pretty advanced."

Sarah shrugged, scratching out a note she had written in the diary Elizabeth had gotten her and bookmarked the page she was on to make sure she finished it off properly later. "Mr Charles recommended them for me to Mom."

She didn't know how she felt about her Mom having an appointment with her guidance counsellor without her knowledge.

"Well it's good that you are focused on school." Sarah refrained from rolling her eyes at the stilted conversation. To think they had once been close, now they struggled to make polite chit chat.

* * *

"Connor! I'm not calling you again!" Cornelius all but roared up the stairs as Connor finished fixing his tie and shut his eyes to calm himself down.

He didn't know who his Dad thought he was, having some stupid affair with some younger woman, and _knowing_ his kids knew about it, but still bossing him around.

And while his Mom wasn't too excited about having the Bekkers over for a New Years Eve get together, she was happy about getting dressed up and entertaining again, as best she could.

Connor remained adamant that he was pleasing his father for his mother's sake.

" _Connor_!"

"I'm coming!" He shouted back, wanting to slam his door closed behind him but knowing his Mom hated it if he and his father argued. Given their tempers, it would soon get explosive.

He made his way down the stairs where the rest of his family were waiting in the foyer as the the guests arrived.

Claire, for once, didn't look exactly enthralled about the night. But Connor put it down to a bad combination of Cornelius being a snake and having to stay in instead of going out with her friends. His Mom had the biggest smile on her face when she watched him come down though and that alone made this entire stupid evening worth while.

"Don't you look handsome?" She asked, kissing his cheek.

"Thanks." He grinned. "You look beautiful Mom."

The doorbell rang and Katie answered, Connor rolled his eyes, God forbid they actually had to open their own door.

Ava trailed in after her parents. She greeted his parents politely.

"Connor, it's good to see you, how has your break been?" She prolonged the peck on his cheek for far too long and Connor noticed Claire sending the other girl a sour look.

Cornelius glared at his son. _Play nice_ , his look said, _keep her happy._

It made his stomach sick and his blood boil.

"Fine, yours?" He asked, cringing when she wound her arm into his, practically forcing him to lead her into the drawing room where the drinks would be served before dinner. They were pulling out all the stops. "You missed the Dance."

Ava's shrill laugh grated on Connor's nerves, "Oh that silly little thing. Daddy wanted to bring me for a little shopping trip to New York." She said, "These types of schools and their pathetic attempt at student activities. Remember when we went skiing in the Alps with Lakeshore in sophomore year?"

 _Yeah, how could he forget?_

 _It had been the time that they had shared a kiss._

 _It seemed to be all Ava remembered and it was all Connor wanted to forget_.

Ava's Mom was harping on about the latest charity event and their fathers were discussing business, Connor when he sent his sister a desperate look, he needed help.

"Ava!" She said, coming over and air kissing the younger girl. Connor stifled a smile, if anyone could play the part of snobby heiress it was his sister, she could just flip a switch and say all the right things and have the other rich kids eating out of her hand. "How have you been darling? We never get to chat anymore! Did you hear about Peter Mills' latest night out, the scandal…" She pulled Ava along like gravity and became Claire _Rhodes_. And any rich kids at Lakeshore worth their salt or anywhere for that matter, wanted to be friends with _Claire Rhodes._ Connor was happy for the break.

This whole evening had interrupted the texting he had been doing with Sarah. He excused himself to go to the bathroom and took out his phone in the hallway.

 _They're here. Four more LONG hours to go :(_

 _Tell me about it. James is still here too._

 _What a crappy end to the year huh?_

 _Yep. But it's been a better year than I expected it to be at the start._

 _It is for me, I met you._ He hesitated after he sent it, was he coming on too strong? But he couldn't help it, he hadn't seen her for weeks, he couldn't stop thinking about her.

 _You know the first time we met I didn't think we'd be like this._

 _What? Hiding from our families on New Years Eve. I can't wait to see you again._

 _I wish I could see you sooner, but I'll see you in school next week right?_

He hated the fact that his father had thrown a surprise 'family holiday trip' into the mix. The four of them would be travelling to their holiday house in the Hamptons to meet with more Rhodes relatives for the next few days. Connor didn't think it was a good idea for his Mom considering her health, but she said she wanted to go.

But if the trip wasn't bad enough, it meant that he wouldn't be able to see Sarah until school. Which felt like an eternity when all he spent his time thinking about now was the way she smiled, or how she frowned when she was trying to solve an equation or how even though she had kissed him first she was still shy every single time they kissed. It was all driving him mad.

 _It's so long away. I can't believe I don't get to kiss you at midnight_

* * *

Sarah put the phone down and stared at the screen. She wished she could see him too, the idea of him and Ava made her cringe, granted, she and Connor hadn't been dating long, she didn't even know if she should feel jealous, Connor had told her she wanted to be with her and had come to her defense to Ava always, but still, even in all her reasoning, Sarah was still an almost 15 year old girl whose boyfriend was having a dinner party with his… ex? Should she even consider Ava that?

Her phone buzzed, she looked around to see if Jason was near, but she was upstairs in her room and he still seemed to be entertained by James.

"Hey."

"Hi." She whispered into the phone.

"Everything okay?" _Ah, her heart swelled._

"Yeah, I'm just sort of avoiding everyone…"

"Me too." I'm hiding in the kitchen closet." Sarah had to smile. She'd seen that closet and he couldn't fit without crouching down. "I might have an idea of just how cramped Harry must have felt under those stairs."

Sarah laughed at the remark. "You do kind of remind me of Harry, minus the glasses."

"Sarah!" Her mother called. Connor had heard her from the other line.

"I gotta go, but…"

"Sarah?"

"Yeah?"

"I meant it, I wish I could kiss you at midnight." She felt her stomach flip.

"I wish you could too." She admitted, picturing him smiling.

"I...I'll call you? At least we can make the start of the year better?"

"Sounds great. Happy New Year Connor."

Connor clicked the phone shut and sneaked out the closet. He hadn't known Katie would be there. "Oh, so that's where you've been hiding." She told him cheekily.

"I was…"

"Calling Sarah?" He nodded.

"Don't worry, I won't tell, but you better get out there, your father's been asking for you."

Connor sighed, nodding at Katie. He came back out to find everyone in the living room. The spot next to Ava was empty as Claire had sat down next to Elizabeth.

"So Connor, your father tells me you might start working at Dolen-Rhodes soon?" Ava's Dad said. Cornelius shot him a look. "That's good son, it will do you good to know the business early on. "

Connor nodded. He could feel Ava move closer to him as the others chatted but he just wished he could text Sarah or call Henry or Nat.

Or simply make a run for it.

"Come on sit." Ava said. He did, under his father's watchful eye.

"So, I got you a present…" Ava said all of the sudden. "Here." She took a small box from behind her. "I saw it at the store and thought of you." She opened the small box to reveal a watch, black and silver.

"Uh, thank you." He said. "You didn't have to…"

Come on, put it on." She forced his left hand.

Ava then noticed his leather bracelet was gone, that silly thing she knew that Natalie and Henry wore too. She brushed it off though, her watch would now be on his wrist.

"There, perfect." She said cheekily.

Connor's temper was about to go haywire. "Connor sweetheart, would you go upstairs and get the Bekker's presents?" His mother said suddenly.

"Oh, you got me a present? You shouldn't have." Ava piped up.

Connor felt the urge to gaggle. "I'll go get them." He said and Elizabeth urged his sister to go along.

They didn't speak until they reached the top of the stairs. "Mom has like a radar for when the Connor bomb is about to go off." His sister said, Connor smiled grimly.

"And for your glares." He countered. Claire smiled back at him.

"Listen baby brother, you and I might not get along most times, but I do know that look. If you want to go see Sarah, you can. I'll cover for you?"

Connor had to blink. "Oh come on. I was sixteen once, and plus I'll get to say you owe me, twice in one night."

"And how exactly are we going to manage that?" He inquired.

"Just follow my lead."

They got the boxes out and came back down. "Oh Connor, you really shouldn't have." Ava chided, admiring her gift.

"It was actually my Mom's idea, but I'm glad you liked it."His mother had gotten her the latest Gucci bag.

"Still, thank you." She kissed his cheek, but her lips moved closer to his mouth.

"Ava, stop." He whispered but she held him back into the hug.

"What? Don't you miss me?"

"I have a girlfriend, remember?" He warned.

"Oh please, that Reese girl? She's way under you, she can't offer you what I can."

"And what's that?" He said dryly, pulling back.

"A life your father will finally approve of." She sneered.

Connor glanced over at Cornelius, who shot his son a pleased look.

"Mom?" Claire's voice made Connor jump back from Ava's grip.

"I'm sorry, it's getting a bit late for me, and I'm not feeling well all of the sudden, would you excuse me?"

"Of course." Cornelius moved to kiss Elizabeth's cheek as he asked Katie to take her upstairs and call for Kelly to make sure she was alright.

Connor's stomach took a flip as his father kissed Elizabeth, he eyed Claire and she had a similar expression on her face.

"Actually, if you don't mind, can the children join me for a moment?" Elizabeth said. Cornelius glanced over at his kids and then at Ava's Dad.

"Maybe we should go, give you all some time alone." Ava's Mom said.

"Yes, we can have breakfast tomorrow before you leave, what a better way to ring the New Year than to have a nice game of golf? We can even bring Connor along."

 _No, please._

"We'll be there, first thing tomorrow." Cornelius said with a smile and shot a glance at his son. "Won't we son?"

"Well, it's settled then, we'll see each other tomorrow." Ava's Mom said. Elizabeth said her goodbyes to all the Bekkers as did Claire, Cornelius then asked Connor to walk Ava out.

He did as he was told with gritted teeth and said his goodbyes. "I'll see you tomorrow then?" Ava smiled. "Can't wait!" She kissed his cheek again and smiled.

Connor didn't reply, he left his father talking to her dad and returned inside , he didn't want to give him a reason to go at him.

He found Claire and Elizabeth in her room. "Are you okay Mom?"

"Yes, just tired." She smiled from the bed.

"We should let you sleep then." Claire said, kissing her mother's cheek.

"Yes, good night you two, I love you so much."

"Love you Mom." Connor hugged his Mom close, kissing her cheek as he went.

"Happy New year, I want you both to know just how proud I am of you." Elizabeth smiled at them.

Connor felt his heart dip inside his chest as he followed Claire outside. "Lock your room and then climb down the window." His sister said. "Remember how we used to when we'd sneak out to go to Molly's?"

Connor nodded at his sister's words. It had been ages since he and Claire had been partners in anything.

"Go, I'll cover for you."

"Are you sure?"

"I'll be fine." She assured him. "Tell Sarah hi for me."

Connor nodded, offering her a smile and then moving to his room, locking the door and taking off Ava's watch, grabbing his car keys and thick jacket he climbed down his window like Claire had taught him to, when he was younger, the levels of the house served as good steps and they were easier to get down from now that he was taller.

He reached the ground with a thud, cursing under his breath when he saw his father, there was a car he didn't recognize parked on the side of the house, past the gate.

He couldn't possibly take his car now, his Dad would notice. He then moved to the shed that was on the other side and grabbed his bike, which he prayed it was still in good shape.

The door at the gate opened when he entered the code as he tried to make the less sound possible and grabbed on his bike and peddled.

* * *

Sarah was still staring at her phone when her mother sent her upstairs, it was officially New Years and Connor hadn't called her.

She'd texted him but no reply had come either. Maybe he'd fallen asleep or maybe he was with his Mom. Or maybe with Ava. Sarah didn't want to think about the older girl, she instead scrolled down the pictures on her phone. A few from the Winter Dance with Emily, Jay and Monique, her and Jason at Christmas. She and Juliet too.

One of her and Connor from the dance, she had to smile at it, he was kissing her cheek as she wrapped her arms around him.

Her phone buzzed beside her. "Hello?"

"Hey, I didn't wake you did I? Sorry I didn't get a chance to call before."

Sarah sighed, "Don't worry, how was the rest of the night?"

"Well it just got better." He said. "Look outside."

Sarah's heart skipped a beat as she opened her window and looked down at her boyfriend, covered in snow and beaming at her. She ran back to her room to grab her phone. "How did you…"

"I told you I would kiss you at midnight, didn't I?" Sarah couldn't believe he was actually here. It took her a minute to compose herself as she told him not to move. She grabbed on her snow boots and coat and his scarf and moved down the stairs, praying her Mom wasn't awake.

She saw the lights of the house were out so she grabbed on her phone and used it as a flashlight to reach the kitchen.

She figured it would be less loud if she used the back. As she opened the door to the night, her heart began beating faster, and it wasn't from the cold. She spotted Connor pretty quickly and he caught her just in time.

"Sarah Reese, I didn't know you had it in you." He joked at her sneaking out, she smiled.

"I can't believe you are here!" She said breaking the hug. "You rode? In this cold?" She said worriedly, spotting the bike thrown to the side.

"Shh…" He hushed her, placing a finger on her lips. She laughed.

He smiled, pulling something from his pocket, mistletoe, "I did make a promise, I know it's past midnight but…" He leaned his lips towards hers. Sarah held her breath as his cold lips touched hers, she pulled him closer to her, deepening the kiss.

"Happy New Year Sarah." Connor gasped when they pulled apart for air. She seemed to have lost her ability to speak.

"This… is the best New Year surprise I've ever gotten." She told him breathtakingly, trying to recover from that mind blowing kiss.

"Worth the two weeks wait I hope?" He asked shyly. Sarah was about to reply when Connor's phone buzzed in his pocket. "Damn it Claire…"

"What?" Sarah inquired. "What's wrong?"

"I have to go." He said, touching her face softly with his hands, Sarah could feel the cold tip of his fingers as she noticed his gloves hadn't covered them completely.

"Connor?" She said quickly, turning around to kiss him again. "Happy New Year."

* * *

Monday came and Sarah couldn't be happier. She'd be going back to school, she'd be seeing her friends and Connor. She sighed as James honked for her and Jason.

Her brother wasn't too happy about the loud noise and he fidgeted with his jacket's zipper. "Why can't we ride the bus with Will and Jay?"

"Because Dad's meant to drive us to school now, remember?"

Jason nodded, following her outside and getting into the car.

The ride to school was quiet, except for James directing a few question for each kid.

Mary was waiting for them by the elementary school gate. Jason was for one really happy to see her and he even showed off he was wearing the hat she'd given him for Christmas.

Sarah smiled as James nodded her way, he still hadn't pulled away when she'd made it to her building.

"Sarah!" Jay caught up with her. "I missed you and Jason this morning."

"Yeah, James is back so he drove us, sorry."

"It's fine." He chided. "How was break?"

"Oh my God Sarah! Tell me all about New Years now!" Emily came running their way.

Sarah smirked. "I thought I had."

"It's all in the details…" she said to Jay's annoyance.

"I'm gonna go find Mon." Jay told the girls as Emily pulled Sarah to the side.

"Connor Rhodes is even more awesome than I thought, omg and you sneaked out? I feel like that should be me teaching you that but no, you've figured it all out on your own." Emily said and Sarah had to laugh. "And let me see that bracelet.." Emily grabbed her hand. "Yep, that's Connor alright, but I mean have you noticed that Henry and Natalie have the same ones? I wonder what that means…"

She had noticed, but until Emily had mentioned it, Sarah hadn't thought much of it.

They waited by the stairs for a little while longer. Spotting Will and Nina as they went.

"Oh yeah did you hear? Will's been spending a lot of time with Nina…" Sarah's mind then drifted to Natalie and just as on cue she spotted Connor's car. Henry and Natalie climbing down after they'd parked.

Strangely Sarah hoped to see Henry driving his own car.

She wondered if he'd actually been able to get it.

"I better go find Jay and Monique, I'll see you in there?" Emily said as Connor made his way over with his friends.

"Hey." He told her with a smile.

"Hi." She replied.

"Oh would you kiss her already? We're going to be late." Natalie chided and they laughed.

Yeah Sarah was definitely glad to be back in school.

She walked to Math holding hands with Connor, Henry and Nat following behind. Sarah hadn't dared to ask Henry why he'd been riding with Connor again if he was supposed to have received a car over the holidays.

They bumped into Ava who was talking to Doris at the door. Her eyes instantly drifted to her and Connor's joined hands.

Her stare fixated on the bracelet on Sarah's wrist and the obvious missing watch on Connor's.

"Sorry, did you lose something?" Natalie asked.

Ava lifted her head. "I see they let you return to school. That's the problem with the public system, they let in almost anyone."

Natalie glared at her as Sarah took a step back as Connor's grip tightened. There was obviously a double meaning to her words. To her and Sarah.

"Well, they let you stay." Natalie shot back. Ava didn't have time to reply because Mr. Downey had walked into class, Ava following him almost instantly.

"Don't listen to her." Henry told Natalie and Sarah. "She's like a scared cat, with pretty hair." This made the girls smile as Connor tried to control his temper.

"Hey, it's okay." Sarah assured him, rubbing his arm.

"It's my fault she's even here." He said.

Sarah leaned her head into his side. "So? You are not forcing her to stay, come on."

She got him into class and took her normal seat next to Henry.

They got a few minutes to chat about their respective holidays before Mr Downey started class. With everything that Sarah had been studying over the break, the class felt like a breeze.

"Any chance you understood _any_ of that?" Henry asked with a slightly panicked look on his face when the bell rang.

"Yeah, but it is tricky." She tried to make him feel better, "We're still on for studying together at Connor's?"

"Sarah." Henry laughed, "I think we all know you don't need us to study, but thanks for tutoring me." He smiled softly.

"I like helping." Sarah admitted with a shrug of her shoulders, she really didn't want him to think he owed her or anything.

She had to say goodbye to her junior friends and head to Chemistry, catching up with Jay in the hallway.

Jay chatted about his holidays while Emily practically burst from excitement of hearing all about Sarah's New Years Eve kiss and demanded she'd join her and Monique at Molly's after school.

She made it to lunch and Connor was waiting for her. "You know after two weeks you'd think two hours wouldn't be as long, but it felt like it." He said as he reached for her hand.

She appreciated it, he didn't push any PDA on her, he let her set the pace at school.

Hand holding, yes. Kissing in front of other people, she wasn't so sure about yet.

"So how have your two hours been?" She asked as they walked toward the cafeteria.

"Just trying to help Natalie out," he shrugged, "She says she's feeling better but I think she starting to get paranoid over her bump."

"Does she know if she can stay in school?"

"Her parents are still hoping she'll take the tutoring but Nat does want to stay in school. I think she thinks if she sticks around, Jeff can't avoid her forever."

Sarah watched as Connor's jaw set and a frown found its way onto his face. The topic of Jeff could never lead to good things so she scrambled to change the conversation.

"I didn't want to ask Henry but did he get his car over Christmas?" Sarah inquired curiously.

Connor winced slightly and scratched the back of his neck, "Ah, no he didn't. They had their eye on this perfect starter car for him but with Molly's and the new baby and the cost of Christmas…well Henry wouldn't say it outright but I don't think they could afford it right now. I don't want to make a big deal out of it, I mean we've always been like brothers but the subject of money is kind of touchy, not that I blame him."

"That's sad, he works really hard." She said. But she couldn't blame Henry, she didn't like to think too much about the money differences in their relationship either. "Oh hey don't forget to meet me after our last class, I have to give you your Christmas present."

"Sarah you didn't have to…"

"I wanted to." She cut him off with a kiss to his cheek before they entered the cafeteria and found Nat and April together at their table.

Sarah loitered by her lockers after last the class, hoping Connor wouldn't laugh in her face at the present she had gotten him. She had racked her brains the entire holiday for a perfect present to match the beautiful thoughtful present currently hanging around her neck.

She just hoped that if he didn't like it, she had the excuse to have to hurry home.

"Hey you." He smiled, walking up to her.

"Hey." She smiled, mustering up her courage, "This is for you." She handed him a small bag.

He did look excited as she beckoned for him to open it.

She'd made him a replacement bracelet. She felt terrible for taking his, it had never been missing from his wrist and she understood it was important to him, but she had to admit, she loved it on hers.

So she'd asked her Grandma, who didn't need much pursuing, to help her make a new one. Juliet _loved_ anything to do with crafts and diy and had only been delighted to assist. They had bought a piece of leather that Sarah had cut to the same size as the original one and inscribed the inside of it with the date that he had asked her to be his girlfriend.

"I know it's not much…" Sarah started, falling over her words. She knew her family wasn't poor by any means but a lot of their money went towards Jason's care not that Sarah would ever complain about that.

"Also, this is so silly but.." she was almost afraid to admit it. "I wanted to send you something else…" he eyed her curiously. "It should be on your email by now."

"What is it?" He smiled sweetly at her.

"It's stupid but I've already sent it."

"Sarah…" He said, in a stunned voice and her mind immediately jumped to the worst case scenario. "Nobody has ever gotten me a gift like this."

"I'm sorry I couldn't get you anything else, I know you wanted a new leather jacket and…"

"Hey," He jumped in, cutting off her excuses and stepped forward right into her personal space. "I _love_ my gift. Seriously. Thank you."

His intent blue eyed gaze nearly made her felt to goo on the floor. "I never get presents with such thought behind them, apart from my Mom or Hermann but you know he's stubborn like that." He laughed softly. "Thank you." He repeated again before putting the bracelet on. "Fit's perfectly" He beamed. "Now we both have one we gave each other."

"Oh my gosh Sarah, _come on!"_ Emily called from her locker down the corridor. "We have to get to Molly's! Hey there Romeo." She smirked at Connor as she grabbed Sarah by the hand.

"Hey Emily." He called, "I'll see you at Molly's?" She nodded as her friend dragged her away.

* * *

Connor was pretty sure his Mom shouldn't be out in the cold, especially not after over exerting herself on their 'family holiday' the week before. But they had had fun, Claire, Connor and Elizabeth had never laughed as much as when they were hiding up in her room from the rest of the Rhodes clan.

Actually he was pretty sure he'd never been on such a good side with his sister.

"I want to see Henry today " His Mom had told him a hundred times that morning before he had even left for school and afterwards. What for? He didn't know.

He wheeled her through the door of the diner.

She'd had been ridiculously excited all weekend and Claire had been acting extra sketchy. He didn't think the two were any way related until he saw his sister sitting at the counter with the same smile on her face as their Mom's.

"Hey Lizzie, what a surprise! What are you doing here?" Herrmann asked as he excused himself from serving Sarah and her friends and came over to greet Elizabeth with a kiss on her cheek.

"I have a surprise planned." She practically laughed.

Connor had to smile at her demeanor. He saw Sarah shoot him a look.

"A surprise?"

"Yes, but I need Henry." Herrmann's eyes never left Elizabeth's as he called his son from the kitchen.

"Hey Liza! What are you doing here?"

"I have something for you." She said, taking hold of Henry's hand, "But youre going to have to help me."

Connor looked on in confusion as Elizabeth stood up, hooking her arm in Henry's and watched as his best friend adjusted his stance to help support her. With all the activity over the holidays the doctor recommended she used the wheelchair to conserve energy, but apparently the surprise was too important for her to be sitting down.

She pulled Henry along to the door.

Claire coming up behind them as they opened the door, slipping a set of keys to her mother. She pointed to a car parked a few spaces down the street. "Merry Christmas Henry."

"Merry.." Henry began. "what?"

"That's yours you dork." Claire said. Hermann eyed Elizabeth carefully.

"Lizzie..,"

"It's from me and the kids." She told Chris. He turned to look at Claire.

"Considering how many years you've been feeding us, we should've gotten him a truck." Claire said with a smile.

"Did you know man?" Henry turned to Connor.

"Nope. I really didn't..."

"Arthur helped us make sure everything was in order." Elizabeth put in.

 _Henry still couldn't believe it._

He had a car. He hadn't dared to say anything about it when his Dad had told him they just wouldn't make the cut for the payment just yet. He'd just have to work extra hard to afford it. "So, are you getting in or..." Claire broke the silence.

"I…"

"Here." Elizabeth handed him the keys and kissed his cheek.

"I don't even know what to say…"

"You could say thank you?" Claire joked. Henry nodded, eyeing his father and hugging Elizabeth and Claire.

Connor smiled as nervousness got the best of Henry, then he moved to the side to push the wheelchair he'd brought along so his Mom would sit.

She looked so happy, it was hard for him not to be for Henry. He eyed Hermann though, he hadn't said anything.

That was a new, Connor had never seen Christopher Hermann speechless.

* * *

 **Sarah being nervous about what to get Connor was the cutest, wasn't it? And what about Ava? She can't let go, can't she?**

 **Also, who else loves Claire and Elizabeth? And Claire helping Connor sneak out?**

 **Don't forget to review you guys, keeps us motivated!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Holding On**

 **Season four is finally here! We hope you enjoy this one and don't forget to leave a review guys! It seriously makes our day to hear from you.**

 **Chapter 21.**

Henry looked at his father warily, "Can I….?"

Hermann still looked a little stunned but recovered himself, staring at Elizabeth, "Sure thing kid…"

Henry didn't need any more encouragement, he thanked Elizabeth again and gave her another kiss on the cheek and practically ran down the short street and got into his car.

"Do you think he likes it?" Claire mused with a laugh as Henry was just sitting in the front seat running his hand along the steering wheel with a look of awe on his face.

"Just a little bit." Connor answered.

"Oh I'm so glad." Elizabeth said, "First cars are so special, aren't they Chris?"

Hermann softened at her words. "Sure are Lizzie, they sure are."

They watched as Henry got back out the car and closed the door as gently as if it was a new born baby and locked it and ran back to them, thanking them all the time.

"Seriously, thank you so much, you really didn't have to, I love it, you shouldn't have, if you want to take it back I mean I don't deserve this, it's too much…" Henry rambled on.

"Just take the car Henry." Claire rolled her eyes, "And don't be stupid, you're family."

Henry looked like he might burst with happiness.

"Okay well I'm getting you all milkshakes or something, Liza, what will you have?"

Elizabeth looked up at him under heavy eyelids. "I appreciate the offer sweetheart, but I think I should be getting home, I'm afraid it's all the excitement I can take for one evening."

Henry's face dropped quickly, as if blaming himself for her feeling ill.

"But seeing your happy face just made my day. C'mon you can wheel me to the car." She told him.

"You can stay here Connor, I'll take Mom home." Claire told him as he went to follow Henry.

"Shouldn't you be at school?" He asked her.

She shrugged, "I have a lot to catch you up on, go on and stay here, I'll be home all evening." She offered him a smile.

"What'll you have Connor?" Hermann asked as he followed him to the counter. By the time Connor finished his order, Natalie had arrived, "I got here as quick as I could, Henry said it was important?"

"Yeah my Mom and Claire masterminded into getting him a car."

"Wow! Really?" She asked, "That's so cool. What does Hermann think?" She asked in a whisper.

Connor winced, "I'm not sure, he's gone along with it but…" He shrugged, "He did calm down when my Mom mentioned something about first cars, whatever that means."

" _Oh_." Nat said.

"Oh? Oh what?" Connor asked, "What does that mean?"

"Nothing." She said far too quickly.

"Nat…?"

"It's nothing." She broke under his stare, "Okay but I don't know anything, I'm just guessing. Do you think your Mom and Hermann ever, you know, dated or something?"

" _What?"_

"Nevermind, forget I said anything."

"Hold on, you can't just spill something like that and pretend it's nothing. What are you talking about?"

"Okay, but it's just, they're so close you know? And the bracelets, I mean Cindy doesn't have one and he's the only one that calls her Lizzie, I'm just guessing."

"Ew. My Mom and Hermann?" He reacted on instinct. "Huh, you know what? Now that you mention it, I would have preferred him as my Dad."

"Connor don't say that."

"Well it's true, c'mon Nat, my Dad is a complete jerk."

"Natalie, come see my car!" Henry blew right back into the diner like a hurricane and nearly dragged Nat out the door. Connor followed suit. Where they went, he followed.

When they came back inside, Natalie grabbed them a table and then took out her school bag, explaining her parents only let her out if she promised to do her homework.

Connor watched as Sarah's friends left an hour later after they chatted over their food and finished up. Sarah took her things and transferred tables.

"Can I join you?"

"Only after you see my new car." Henry retorted and Connor watched as his best friend led his girlfriend outside while talking animatedly.

The four of them stayed until the place was nearly empty. Connor kind of wished they hadn't. It was only when the place quieted down that they could hear Hermann slamming pots and pans and cursing to himself in the kitchen.

Sarah jumped as he let the kitchen door slam shut behind him as he cleaned another table.

"Is he okay?" She whispered to Connor.

"I'm not sure." He answered back, watching his Godfather.

Hermann's phone rang and he answered with a gravely hello and made his way back into the back. He didn't seem to notice that the door didn't shut behind him.

* * *

Claire was making her way up to check on her Mom when she heard her voice.

"Chris, come on you know I didn't mean it like that…" Elizabeth said. Claire stopped cold on her tracks. "Henry's like a son to me. All of your kids are, I just wanted to…."

Claire sighed. She'd noticed Chris at the diner, it wasn't hard to figure out he'd been taken out by the sudden gift.

By the very expensive gift.

"Of course I didn't… Chris, listen to me…"

Her mother was weary and tired and Chris was just… actually Claire had never seen him mad at Elizabeth.

 _Like ever._

"Alright, I'll see you soon."

Claire waited a moment to make her way inside her mother's room. "Mom?"

"Claire...how much of that did you hear?"

Claire bit her lip. "Not a lot but… is Chris mad?"

"Disappointed was the word he used." Claire raised an eyebrow as she took a seat next to her mom's bed.

"What? Because of the money? He needs to get over himself. It's just money."

Elizabeth smiled sadly. "Not to Chris. He and I… when we were kids, we didn't have a lot. He had to help his dad with the diner and grandpa was barely getting by at the store."

"Until he sold it to Grandad." Claire said, referring to the eldest Rhodes. Elizabeth nodded. "And then you came into a lot of money and Chris didn't."

* * *

"Connor… what are you doing?" Sarah asked behind her boyfriend. He ignored her, placing a finger on his lips.

"What I am going to tell Cindy, Lizzie?" They heard Hermann say. "You'll have to take the car back…"

They watched him pace back and forth and run his fingers through his short hair. "So I'm the only idiot who didn't know the whole car thing was happening, huh?"

Well Connor hadn't known either. "I've got all the kids here. Including Connor…Lizzie come on, I know your heart was in the right place, but you know how I feel about your husband's money.. or your husband in general for that matter."

Sarah and Connor held their breath. "Um… what are you guys doing?" Henry chided behind them and Natalie by his side. Sarah's heart was beating fast as she almost jumped. "I'm coming over Lizzie, just… I'm going to ask Henry to close early. No, I'll be there soon."

The kids froze for a second and then moved back into their table as Hermann came out of the kitchen.

"Dad…" Henry looked over. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah…" Hermann stared at them. "Mom just needs diapers and the baby's getting fussy again. I'm gonna head home, you think you could close for me?"

Henry nodded. "Oh alright. Sure."

"Okay but close up early you hear? Those weather reports aren't good and I don't want any of you caught out in that snow storm they're predicting."

Sarah watched as Connor tensed up beside her. "Alright, you kids take care. I'll see you?"

He didn't wait for them to reply before leaving.

"Man, I'm dead. I'm gonna ask Liza and Claire to take back the car." Henry was panicking. "I mean…"

"Connor?" Natalie's voice was a mere whisper.

"You know something, don't you?" He told Natalie. She bit her lip. "This isn't just about the car, is it?"

"It's none of my business…"

"But it's mine Nat, it's about my Mom…" he said, trying to control himself. "Please."

Sarah could see that look on his face. He couldn't bare people lying to him.

Not Elizabeth and Hermann, they were the only people in his life who'd never hurt him.

* * *

"Mr. Hermann, what a nice surprise, come in." Katie said as she opened the front door. "Mrs. Rhodes is upstairs with Claire. It's getting bad out there huh?"

"Sure is, I made sure to tell the kids to get home soon. Thank you Katie." Chris smiled. Hermann made his steps short, almost as he was afraid to reach the stairs.

He hated coming over to this house, it reminded him too much of Cornelius and it made his blood boil. He knocked on the door of the room and Claire opened it, shooting him a look.

"Claire, would you give us a minute…" Her mother said behind her. "Please." the girl nodded and closed the door, leaving them "Chris…" Elizabeth said softly.

"Why would you do that Lizzie?" He asked. "I can get my kid his own car, I don't need to be your charity case."

"It's not like that…."

"What did you say to Cindy, huh?"

"I wanted to do something nice for Henry, he's worked so hard for that car and when Connor told me…"

"What, you thought you could just buy it to him? He's my _son._ " Elizabeth froze. Hermann paced back and forth, frustrated.

"I didn't mean anything by it Chris I swear, I wanted to help and Claire also insisted on it so we figured we could manage to get it to him, Cindy even said you'd pay us back but I asked her not to tell you because I knew you would have tried to stop me."

Hermann bit his lip. "I don't want his money Lizzie, I don't want to owe him anything. Not after all he's done…"

"So this is about Cornelius?" Elizabeth asked.

"No, it's about…"

"The affair?" She said, her voice low. "I can handle it."

"No, although I wish I could just bust his face…"

"Then what is it?"

"I don't need you fixing up my problems, I'm a big boy."

"It's about money then? Why does it always come down to that for us?"

"Lizzie…" Chris walked over to her, kneeling at her level on the bed. "You know it's not like that…"

"I don't have a lot of time left Chris…"

"Don't say that, the doctors said you can try that chemo stuff again, it can give you a little more time."

"I don't want to try Chris anymore, I already spend enough time in this bed as it is, I want to be able to enjoy my kids for the time that I have left…"

"Lizzie, please…"

"It's the truth and I just want to make the most of it, and today, the smile on Henry's face, that alone was worth it." She smile softly at him. "Please, you are already paying me back…"

Chris looked up at her, confused. "Taking care of Connor and Claire is enough…"

"You know I love them, I'd do anything for those two…"

"And I'd do anything for you and Cindy, you know that…"

Hermann nodded. "You know it's funny, right after we broke up and you and Cindy started dating I really thought it we'd be together and make all of those plans happen." She said sadly. "All those plans we've made looking out the stars at night in that old car." He eyed her carefully. "I just wanted Henry to be able to enjoy being a kid, to make the most of it, that's all I want for them really, that car meant so much to us, we put everything into it and I wanted Henry to be able to have that too."

"But I guess life had other plans?" Hermann put in.

"It did." They shared a small smile. "Please, can you just accept it? If it makes you feel any better, I used my father's money."

He sighed."But I'm still gonna pay you back."

"Fine."

"Good." He said. "I better go. I told Henry I was heading home…"

Elizabeth smiled. "Alright. I'll see you soon for Sophie's christening, Cindy did mention it…"

"Of course." He said, leaning to kiss her cheek. "I'll see you Lizzie."

Clare moved just in time so Hermann wouldn't catch her at the door, she had heard enough. She felt the urge to run away, that was a lot of information to process all at once.

* * *

"Connor, come on…" Sarah pleaded.

"No, she knows something…"

"Connor, dude, I think it's best if…"

Natalie was almost in the verge of tears. "I heard them talk about how they used to date."

"What?" Henry was the one to speak.

"I heard them talking over Christmas, I didn't believe it at first but…"

Connor couldn't move. He was sure that was not the whole story, Natalie wouldn't be so upset if that was all there was to it.

"There's more, isn't it?" He shot at Natalie. She bit her lip, almost afraid. Sarah touched his arm,

"C, I'm still trying to process the idea that you could have actually been my brother…" Henry put in. "Now I get why our Dads can't stand each other, it's like some kind of Hallmark movie."

"Natalie?"

"They know."

"What?" Natalie glanced at Sarah. "What do they know, Natalie?"

Sarah's heart dropped. She couldn't even bring herself to look at Connor, that was when Natalie understood that the other girl probably knew about the affair too.

"What do you mean they know?" Connor stood up and Henry paled.

"Connor, I'm sorry, I overheard them and…"

"And what? You thought you'd keep it from me?" He raved, understanding. "Great, that's just great Natalie."

"Connor, calm down." Sarah said, placing a hand on his arm.

Connor only looked at Sarah with heartbroken eyes, "My Mom and Chris know about my Dad. And now you're lying to me too?" He shot at Natalie.

"Hey! This is not Nat's fault." Henry stood up too.

"Did you know they knew?" Connor shot at him.

"No I didn't. But they must have their reasons…"

"Like hell…" Connor ranted, grabbing his jacket and heading for the door.

Henry blocked his path, he knew what his friend was capable of when he was upset. "Calm down, where are you going?"

"I'm going home." He gritted out but his voice shook, "I want to know why the hell my mother has to put up with that cheating lowlife and not tell me."

Sarah had never seen him so close to tears before.

"Just let me clean up, I'll come with you."

Connor shook his head, "I have to do this myself."

"I'm not letting you drive like this." Sarah said to him.

"Sarah…"

"No…" She tried to reach for his hand, he held it, playing with it for a minute.

"Can you take her home?" He asked Henry who nodded. "I'll call you, okay?"

He left without even glancing back at either Sarah or his friends.

* * *

The ride home was blurry, with thoughts scratching through his head.

 _How long had the affair been going on?_

 _How did his Mom find out?_

 _How long had his Mom known?_

 _How long had Chris known?_

 _How could the two of them play happy families when they knew what was going on?_

Connor let himself in as he shook the snow from his jacket but was met with a pale looking Claire sitting on the bottom of the stairs with her arms around herself.

"Claire? What's wrong? Is it Mom?" He immediately panicked. What if there was something wrong with his Mom? And he was so mad at her. What if the last thing he thought of her was...

"Connor." Claire stood up. "No, she's fine. Chris just left though..."

"Well what's wrong?"

"I overheard them…I…" she groaned, putting her head in her hands. "I've somehow messed up again."

"What are you talking about?"

"I transferred school over the break because Dad is such a liar." She spat, "But it looks like he's not the only parent we have that lies. I'm sorry Connor, Mom knew about it all. And we were trying to protect her! And she lets us live with that slimeball and act like she's in love with him." Claire scoffed through her tears, "For all we know she's still in love with Chris or something, they certainly seem cozzy, I can't believe this."

Connor didn't know what to do so he just sunk on to the bottom step.

"She's never lied to us before." He said. " _Ever_." Even with all her diagnosis, she had always sat them down and told them the truth.

"Yeah that's what I was betting my education on." Claire ranted, throwing her hands up.

"Oh it's not all about you Claire, give it a rest." He said.

"Oh yeah because you're so damn selfless." She shot back on instinct.

"Could you not just focus on Mom for one second?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you've spent years running after Dad and ignore Mom and now you decide you might actually care."

"You don't know anything."

"I know where you were when Mom was having treatment, you were anywhere but here. And now because Mom's been dishonest once, you decide to paint her with the same brush as Dad?"

"What is going on down there? Your mother needs her rest." Katie chided them, from the top of the stairs.

"Oh go run along to Mom, she always preferred you anyway." Claire said as her brother stood up and took a step up.

"Oh don't pretend like Dad doesn't eat out of your hand." Connor shot back.

Claire scoffed, "I've always known you were Dad's favorite. Now I'm just glad I know I have parents that just love to lie to me."

"Don't talk about Mom like that." He told her and ran up the stairs.

He didn't care if she was tired, he needed answers.

He appeared in her doorway and she must have woke up when she heard the sound.

He never cried anymore. He was Connor Rhodes.

But he stood in the doorway, the tears trickling down his face, "Why didn't you tell us you knew about Dad?"

Elizabeth's eyes tried to focus back on Connor. It had been so long since she'd seen her son cry.

"Connor, sweetheart I was just trying to…"

"What? Protect us, we're beyond protecting." He said, trying to control his emotions, but it'd been too long, too long of having to put up with her being sick and Cornelius…

"Come here…" He didn't move. "Connor, please listen to me, I was in no position to put you kids at risk, I've made my peace with it.."

"So, it's okay he cheats? Because you are sick and you can't, what? Be the perfect wife anymore?"

"It's not like that…" She replied, trying to regain her breath, Connor suddenly felt his heart sink. "Baby, please I need you to listen to me."

"I'm just… I need to go." He said, he didn't think he could aggravate her further. "I can't deal with this right now."

Claire stood by the door, staring at Elizabeth and watched Connor made his way downstairs, shutting the front door with a loud slam.

He drove across town to the Herman's. His mind racing, he parked right outside.

"Chris…" Cindy called from the kitchen. She'd recognize Connor's car anywhere.

"Yeah…" Hermann didn't need for his wife to tell him twice, he'd noticed but, confused, watched as Connor didn't get out of the car.

"Maybe something happened to Liz?" She said, her voice leaving her. Hermann had just come back from her house. If whatever he'd told her had made her upset enough for her to be admitted or something he'd never forgive himself. But if she was in the hospital, Connor wouldn't be here.

"No, something else is going on, I'll be back…"

"I'm going to go call her, make sure she knows he's here." Cindy said as Hermann grabbed his coat. The snow was coming down pretty heavy now.

Connor couldn't move, he'd never felt so betrayed before, not even by his father, he had to admit he sort of expected him to cheat, but have his Mom put up with it? He felt sick.

There was a knock on the window.

Sarah had been glancing at her phone for the past half an hour since Henry had dropped her off.

She hadn't dared to call or text Connor, although a million scenarios played in her mind, thank goodness her mother and Jason weren't home, because as she was making her way up the stairs, there was a knock on the door.

"Connor…" He stood in her doorway as the snow swirled around him, the flakes seeming to catch in every strand of his black hair. His voice was hoarse and his eyes were red.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know where else to go."

* * *

 **Awww poor Connor! And omg what about him showing up at Sarah's house? Stay tuned for more. Also, who else ships Hermann and Lizzie in a non romantic way?**


	22. Chapter 22

**Holding On.**

 **Chapter 22**

"Come here." She said simply, finding her way into his arms, throwing hers around his neck, trying to hold him together. She didn't care of the snow on his winter jacket which permeated her clothes, she just cared that he was there. "Are you okay?"

He didn't answer, just kind of moved his head from where he had placed it in the crook of her neck. Usually having him this close would drive her crazy with nerves and excitement but now it just made her sad.

She managed to move them, as if they were one person in the door, into where it was warmer.

"What happened?" "What did your Mom say? Are you okay? Connor, what's wrong?" She didn't mean to pepper him with so many questions but she was beyond worried.

He untangled himself from her and rubbed his face. "I didn't mean to just come unannounced…" His voice cracked. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." She told him, taking charge, grabbing his hands in hers for once.

"Everything just…my mom and Claire and Hermann," he sighed.

"If you want to talk about it, I'm here. If you don't want to talk about it, I get that too." She admitted in a small voice. _How many times had she clammed up when things had gotten too much at home?_

He seemed to be caught in two minds over what he wanted to do, "Here, let me take your jacket, it's wet." She said, holding out her hand, Connor peeled the jacket off and handed it to her. "Thank you." He whispered.

He was still worked up, she could tell, because he kept dragging his hand through his hair and scruffing his feet against the floor. So she did the only thing she could think of.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed a quick kiss to his mouth. His lips were ice cold. She pulled away but he followed her, leaning forward to capture her lips in his again.

She could feel his entire body freeze then go slack in her arms, like he was relaxing into her.

"Thank you." He repeated when they had to break apart for air, as he rubbed his fingers against the back of her neck, they were freezing against her but just the sensation of his hand on her skin was enough to make her stomach flutter.

Honestly, Sarah felt slightly dizzy from kissing him.

"For what?" She asked. She didn't know why she was whispering, they were the only people in the house.

"For being here." He told her with his eyes still closed.

She felt him shiver slightly a moment later and she could see his hair was still damp, he had to be so cold. She shivered when she thought of just how long he had been outside her door, wondering even if he should knock.

"Do you want some hot chocolate?" She asked, wanting some way to warm him up.

"I'd love some."

* * *

He followed her like a lost puppy into the kitchen where she set about making the hot drink and digging out some marshmallows, she had a feeling they were going to be needed. She had never seen him so out of himself.

He stayed quiet until she handed him a drink and took another mug for herself.

He sighed, "And today had been going so well."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He nodded, pointing to the bracelet on his wrist that now resembled the one on hers. She smiled at the sight, he did like the present after all.

"I wasn't sure whether to call, after you left…" She admitted.

Regret flashed across his face. "I'm sorry, I'm a terrible boyfriend, I didn't make sure you got home okay."

"It's okay, Henry drove me back."

"I'm still sorry." He took a sip of his drink. "So my Mom did know about my Dad's affair." He said as he made a face as if the drink tasted bitter.

"She did?"

"Yeah. She was trying to protect us." He said it as if he was trying to convince himself with his own words.

"People have different ways of doing that." She nodded along, she should know, just by looking at James and her Mom.

"I know but Claire is acting like it's ruined her life, it's just my Mom has never lied to _me_ before." He said.

"Connor, she loves you. She wouldn't want to hurt you."

He took in her words but didn't respond and they drank the rest of their hot chocolate in silence, holding hands at her kitchen table.

"I didn't mean to just show up like this, honestly."

"I had nowhere to be." She reassured him.

"I just don't want to go home and face my Mom and Claire just yet. And I never know what night my Dad decides to pop in." He said, "And I went to Hermann's but…" He took a breath, "I just can't be there right now either."

 _It must be serious,_ Sarah thought, if Connor wasn't comfortable with the Hermann's.

"You can stay here." She told him but glanced at the clock, "But…my Mom and Jason should be home soon." She added quietly. Her Mom was collecting Jason from his dad's on her way home from her late shift. And her Mom hardly approved of Connor at the best of times lately so Sarah suspected she wouldn't be too happy with him hanging out with her alone at night.

Connor sat up straighter and nodded in understanding. "Can I use your bathroom? Then I'll get out of here, I don't want you getting in trouble because of me." He sighed and Sarah swore her heart broke as she watched him go. She decided to grab his jacket and bring it up to him, just in case now that it had dried up.

As soon as she cleared away their mugs and made her way up the stairs, her phone rang.

She jumped, "Hi Mom."

"Hi Sweetie, are you okay?"

"I'm fine Mom, why?"

"I'm afraid I've got stuck at work. I haven't even finished yet and that snow storm is far worse than it was predicted, my boss is putting us all up in a hotel nearby for the night to wait out the worst of it."

"Oh." Sarah said as Connor emerged into the hallway.

"Yes, so listen, I don't like you being at home alone in a night like that. Jason was already with James this evening so maybe I could ring him to try to come get you?"

Blind panic gripped Sarah, if she thought her Mom catching Connor there was bad enough, James would freak out completely.

She looked over to her boyfriend and into his sad blue eyes. She couldn't make him leave, not in a weather like this, she was scared he would just end up sleeping in his car and freeze.

Her Mom had always said she was a terrible liar, but the words seemed to just roll off her tongue.

"Actually Mom, Emily came home with me after Molly's, we were going to study but now her parents wanted to know if it's okay if she stays, the roads are too dangerous."

"Emily Choi?"

"Yeah and anyway, the Sextons are just down the street if we need anything." her Mom had taken a shine to the Sextons, two doctors, who had come over to welcome them to the neighbourhood, she didn't need to know about Noah though.

"Well, if you're sure?"

"Yeah, totally, it'll be fine, we can just get some study done and go to bed and get the bus in the morning."

"Okay…"

"Okay, goodnight Mom, love you."

"Love you too…" Sarah hung up, and immediately started breathing heavIly like she had just ran a marathon. She had just lied to her mother, and she had been believed.

"Are you okay?" Connor asked, appearing at her side, with a hand on her arm.

"Yeah, but my Mom isn't coming home so you can stay here tonight...if you want?"

"Sarah, you don't have to do that." Connor smiled shyly at her. "Maybe I should go."

 _Ah, the always chivalrous one,_ but her face fell and gave her out. She didn't mean to make him feel worse. "It's.." it's pretty bad out there…"

He noticed right away though and replied. "Only if You're sure?"

She smiled. "Of course." They made their way down the hall and into her room.

Connor had barely been inside it more than a couple times, her mother had prohibited it completely.

She closed the door as her mind clicked on the fact that her boyfriend was in her room and they were alone and probably snowed in, a voice in her mind was telling her Susan could walk in at any minute. She glanced at him, he didn't seem to want to sit because he was still wet.

"Do you, do you want me to dry your clothes off? My Mom might have something of James's here still." She added quickly.

"Sarah, you don't have to…"

"No, stay here. I'll be back."

Connor nodded as she dashed down the corridor, she prayed to god to be right. He watched her go as he took his phone out of his pocket. He had about 20 missing calls from Claire, his Mom, Natalie, Hermann and Henry.

Every single person in his life was worried for him and he couldn't care less right now. He couldn't handle having to talk to them.

Natalie had lied to him.

His Mom and Hermann

And Claire.

He guessed he could call Henry and let him know he was alive.

"Hello? Connor, where are you man, your Mom is…"

"I'm fine Henry, I'm.." he hesitated to tell him. "I just wanted to let you know, please would you just tell them that?"

"Dude, I love you but this is crazy even for you, Dad said you came over and you guys had this big fight…"

"Henry, I'm not really in the mood okay? I'll see you tomorrow…" And he hung up. Sarah was staring at him when he looked up, she was holding an old hoodie and pajama bottoms that he figured would fit him.

* * *

"Is this okay?"

"It's fine, really…" He assured her. She looked at the phone in his hand. "Henry, I just didn't want my Mom…"

Sarah bit her lip, but only nodded.

As he changed, she took his clothes down to the dryer, his wallet falling down as she was getting the jeans in.

She picked it up, a picture catching her eye. It was him and Claire with their parents, she figured he was about six years old.

Sarah had to smile at the sight of the grinning little boy in the photo, before his life had gotten so complicated.

She brushed it off and made her way back upstairs, placing the wallet next to his phone, which chimed. Sarah caught a glance of his phone's background. It was them at the Winter Dance. She had a different one, a selfie they'd taken on top Willis Tower on their first date. "So, I've been listening to that playlist you made me." He said behind her, seemingly a bit more relaxed now. "And I love it."

"You have. You do?" Sarah blushed, not sure if it was from the fact he was so close to her or that for as long as she'd known him, tonight he had this sadness in his eyes which she prayed to never have to see again.

"Yep, I even figured out what our song is." He said, grabbing his phone and sitting on the bed, she joined him.

Sarah didn't even know, they had a song.

Although she had thought of one but…

The melody started to play and Sarah's heart skipped a beat. It was the same one.

"I went to see it live with my Mom." Connor said as the song played. "Claire cried, but she won't admit to it." He added.

"I bet it was amazing."

"It was, magical even…" Sarah smiled. Who would have thought a 16 year old boy could speak of theatre like that? A boy who seemingly had it all but somehow found comfort in those stories. "I'll take you to New York someday, we can go see anything you want."

"Even Harry?"

"Yes, even Harry." He smiled sweetly at her. They stayed quiet for a little while, just listening to the song.

 _The world falls away_

 _The world falls away_

 _And it's only us_

The song ended "I'm glad you liked it." Sarah looked over at Connor, his eyes were shining but he seemed tired and weary. "Come on." She told him, tossing the pillows to the side. Her bed wasn't big by any means but somehow managed to fit them both. Sarah could listen to Connor's heart beside her as he laid there facing her. "Thank you." He said, leaning to kiss her softly. Sarah closed her eyes at his touch, his lips and fingers had seemed to have warmed up.

He looked at her with those deep blue eyes as they broke apart. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Connor bit his lip. "I don't think I'm ready."

"That's okay." She replied. "But talking helps, It does for me."

He remembered, when she'd told him about James and her Mom and Jason's Christmas meltdown and how she wished her Grandma could come and live with them. "Actually…"

"What?"

"You know what helps me?" He smiled shyly.

"What?"

"Nah, you're going to laugh, forget it."

"No, tell me." She insisted. He didn't reply so she leaned to kiss him, feeling bold over the closeness and the calm and… "Or do I have to kiss you until you do?" Sarah said, between kisses, not sure what exactly had come over her.

Connor finally broke them apart, biting his lip. "We'd have to get out of bed.."

"So?"

"Fine." He said, breaking the close contact and she suddenly felt cold, realizing she was still wearing her regular clothes. "But you might want to change, do you mind if I check something out in the kitchen?"

"Uh sure?"

He laughed shyly, scratching his ear, "I know it sounds stupid but Katie always made me these special recipe cookies when I used to get upset as a kid, do you think I could make some now?"

Sarah felt herself practically turning into mush, he was adorable.

"Yeah of course." She said. They got up and Connor left the room after placing a kiss on her temple and thanking her for letting him stay.

 _Again._

* * *

She stood in front of her closet, second guessing what she should wear.

If they were going to be baking, she should wear her usual lazy Sunday clothes, sweatpants and oversized Yale t-shirt. But Connor was in her kitchen and she felt the need to look her best. While she debated with herself she made a quick call to Emily.

She was nothing if not an organised person and even if she had never lied like this before, she needed to make her plans foolproof.

"Hey Sarah, what's up?"

"Hi Emily, I'm going to need to ask a big favour." She said.

"Ooh okay, I'm intrigued, shoot." Emily replied.

"Well you see I'm home and my Mom is staying at work and she didn't want me to be alone in this storm so I told her you were staying over. So if she ever asks, there's no one here with me but you."

"Wait?" Emily mused. "But you are not alone?"

"No, not entirely…" Sarah admitted. "But please will you help me?"

" _Oh Mrs Reese, me and Sarah had such a blast, yeah we got our homework done and we watched that new episode of that medical drama we both love, thanks for being okay with letting me stay over_." Emily mimed her lie perfectly, "That sound good enough?" She laughed.

"Yeah, that's perfect. Thanks Emily, I owe you one."

"I can't believe I'm your alibi! Who would have thought?" Emily mused. "But one thing…"

"What's that?" Sarah asked as she flipped through her clothes.

"Why are you lying to me?"

Sarah froze.

"Don't worry about it, total amateur mistake, I can sniff out lies a mile away, my early life consisted of crappy false promises remember?" Emily said. "But I won't tell, what are best friends for right?"

 _A best friend. Sarah had never had one of those before. She smiled at the thought._

"You promise?" Sarah asked.

"Cross my heart." Emily assured her, "Now spill! And _please_ tell me, is Connor there? Because I need to live my love life vicariously through you." She laughed.

"Actually, he is, but you _can't_ tell anyone, okay? He's upset and I don't want him leaving in this weather." Sarah lowered her voice.

Emily squealed loudly forcing Sarah to move her phone away from her ear. "Oh my gosh, you and Connor alone, at your house, in the snow, I am so jealous! But I promise, I won't say anything. Now what are you doing talking to me, go be all romantic with that cute boyfriend of yours, but remember I want details!"

Sarah laughed as she ended the call and changed her outfit two times. She was sure Connor was wondering where she was but she was worried that he mightn't think she looked good in her cozy clothes. But then again, she reminded herself that this was Connor and he seemed to like her anyway. And she decided that she wanted to be comfortable and wanted him to like her for her.

* * *

She found him in the kitchen, with the table now covered in a selection of ingredients and her Mom's only mixing bowl in the middle of it all. And there he stood in the large hoodie, with a concentrated look on his face as he searched through the fridge.

"Hey." She said from the doorway, suddenly feeling nervous.

 _Connor was in her house and they were alone._

She could be herself, and it somehow excited and terrified her all at once.

"Hey." He stood up, eggs in hand and looked over at her, "Like the t-shirt, Yale is the plan huh?"

"Oh," She said, looking down at the old shirt, "I don't know, it was my Mom's school and she thinks that if I keep my grades up like this I might get in with early acceptance and a scholarship." She told him the plan her Mom had made with her when she started high school.

"Sounds good, Yale is a great choice." He said wandering over to the table.

"Yeah…" Sarah mumbled. "But I'm not really sure about it. It would mean moving across the country." She had never admitted her lack of faith and excitement at her life plan to anyone, not even all her guidance counsellors.

"And away from Jason?"

"Yes!" She said, amazed and delighted that he seemed to _get_ it. Jason was her main concern in life after the divorce. "Anyway, I'm not even sure of what major I would do anyway…"

"My Dad…" Connor started but flinched when he realised that he was talking about people he didn't want to even think about, "…well I'm on a path for some business management degree and meant to take over the Dolen Rhodes empire…which I'm not exactly on board for." He shrugged. "Claire would be better than me for the job anyway but he'd never give her the chance."

He sighed, beckoning her over, "Whatever, I don't want to talk about _them_. Do you want to see Katie's secret recipe?"

She smiled, tying her hair back, "Yes please."

"C'mere." He said as he moved the chair out of the way so she could stand beside him. "This is a secret recipe so we don't tell people about it." He told her with a grin.

"You're telling me." She retorted.

"Katie says we only get to tell important people." He whispered slowly with a soft smile.

She didn't know how he did it, but even in her worn out clothes and her hair tied up messily, he could make her feel like she was the most special person in the world, even forgetting that she needed to breathe when he looked at her like that

"So, first off we need to add some of this…" He tore his eyes away from hers and seemed to remember why they were in the middle of her kitchen. He took the first ingredient and poured it into the bowl.

He told her about the first time Katie had let him help her make these cookies while he went about measuring out another ingredient and set Sarah stirring what was in the bowl. He had been about six years old and he had come from school after being picked last in gym. Sarah couldn't imagine him being picked last for anything, but apparently you could be bullied, no matter who you were.

Then he proceeded to add to the story, the time Henry had tried to help and Sarah had giggled so hard she had difficulty not crying from laughter. She wiped at her face.

"Ah, you got a little something there." Connor pointed over.

"Where?" She asked, rubbing at her cheek. "This flour gets everywhere." She told him pointedly.

"It's not the flour's fault." He laughed softly.

"Well I don't like not being good at things." She admitted.

"You don't have to be perfect at everything Sarah." He told her.

Sarah scoffed, "Try telling that to my Mom." She said, placing the bowl down.

"Let me get it." He said, suddenly right in front of her, swiping his thumb gently across her cheek, right next to her lip. "And just so you know? You are perfect enough already to me." She blushed, looking down at her slippers. He just put his finger under her chin and lifted her head up slightly so she would meet his eyes. "I mean it." he said, pecking her lips.

"So I think if we add these, it should be ready for the oven."

"Should be?" She asked with a smile.

"Well okay, so Katie makes them and I help. I haven't really ever made them by myself before, but I'm pretty sure it's right though..." he frowned in concentration looking at the recipe he had scrawled down on a piece of paper, double checking he had done everything just the way he was supposed to.

"Okay." She was willing to go with it, she liked seeing him happy, even if it was just a glimpse. "But can we add more chips?"

"Go crazy." He told her sweetly.

* * *

They finished up and tried to scoop the cookie dough onto the tray, nearly starting a food fight half way through when some spattered onto Connor's hoodie.

They got them into the oven and started cleaning up. Connor washed and Sarah dried.

"Katie might have had control in minding my entire family but her and Mom always made sure that me and Claire could take care of ourselves as Mom hadn't always come from money and thought it was important. Cornelius always thought it was a waste of time though." Connor said as he cleaned the final pieces of cutlery.

"I still can't believe it, them." He sighed as he handed them to Sarah. "Nat was right about Chris and my Mom too. Can you believe they dated?" He asked as he watched Sarah finish up and put the towel away.

"That must be weird." She said. She couldn't imagine meeting any of her Mom's old boyfriends, in Sarah's mind, her Mom didn't have a life before her, and certainly not a love life, that was too hard for her to wrap her mind around.

"And the worst thing of all is that I didn't even hear it from my Mom, I had to hear it from Claire and Chris."

"You talked to Hermann?" She prompted as she led him into the living room and they sat on the couch.

"Well it was more like the biggest argument we've ever had." Connor sighed, resting his chin on his hand. "I just can't believe he lied to me too."

"From all I've gotten to know Hermann, I'm sure he didn't mean it. To lie." She regretted her words as pain flashed across his face. "I mean…"

"No, you're right, I just…" he sighed, bowing his head down. "Hermann, he's my godfather and really he's been more of a father to me than Cornelius but that's just what makes it worse. And I, just went off on and said horrible things."

He groaned into his hands, "I even accused him of still being in love with Mom and told him that was the reason he always helped me and Claire, but he was doing it for her and protecting us, because even if he wanted to go after my Dad he never did. I just…I've never gotten mad at Chris ever…"

He was crying, finally letting all the emotions of the day wash down on him. "Pathetic, huh?" He said into his hands and her heart sank.

"Connor, hey." She touched his hand and he looked up. "You didn't do anything wrong, you hear me? And whatever you're feeling right now, it just shows how much you care and how it's okay to be sad, it's okay for you not to be the strong one all the time."

He glanced at her as she wrapped her arms around him, he lowered his head to the crook of her neck. "I just don't know how I'll be able to, look them in the eye you know? I screwed up pretty bad."

"Then you make it work and if you need help, you ask for it." She told him with a smile. He leaned to kiss her, Sarah was pretty sure it was the best one yet as he seemed to have poured all his feelings into it. They broke apart for air as a smell flooded them and smoke was filling up. Sarah thanked god the alarm hadn't gone off.

They ran back into the kitchen and opened the oven. "Well there go the cookies." Connor sighed.

"Not all of them." Sarah's tone brightened up, looking at some surviving ones in the back. "Milk?"

* * *

They made it back to her room and sat by the foot of the bed with their cookies and glasses of milk. Their hands were tangled together as Connor grabbed a blanket and pulled it over them. "Good huh?"

"Almost as good as Katie's." Sarah grinned.

"Don't tell her that." He mused making her laugh, Connor then stared at her.

"What?"

"You got a little…" he leaned to peck her lips softly, she smiled into his lips and wrapped her arms around his neck. The kiss deepened and Sarah felt dizzy again.

"Sarah?" He asked worriedly. "You Alright? I didn't mean..."

"Don't ever apologize for kissing me. There can be a lot of things you get to apologize for but not that." He nodded, grabbing his phone and staring at the screen.

Sarah glanced at the time.

"We should get some sleep." She said as he nodded and helped her up, putting the glasses of milk on the nightstand.

He allowed her to get under the covers first and laid beside her, his face to her back but slightly to the side so he could look at her. "Thanks again for letting me stay." He said into her hair. "Today was one of the best and worst days of my life but being with you here, it just made it all worth it."

"You don't have to thank me. I'm glad you came. I'm always here if you need me."

"You know that goes both ways?" She smiled, allowing him to kiss her once more.

And with that, Sarah closed her eyes, remaining awake until she was sure he'd drifted off and followed closely behind.

* * *

Her alarm buzzing on her night stand woke her up like usual. Sarah moaned into her pillow and opened her eyes and sat up to turn it off just as if it was a regular school day.

That was when she remembered it wasn't exactly a normal morning. Connor was lying in her bed, in the oversized sweatpants and shirt, looking up at her through tired eyes.

"Hi." She mumbled, feeling herself blush.

"Morning." He said, his voice still full of sleep. He sat up, running a hand through his bed hair.

"Did you sleep okay?" She asked, trying not to stare at him.

"Yeah, what about you?" She had had the best night sleep in ages.

"Yep," She nodded. She wasn't sure what the protocol was for a morning routine after her boyfriend had slept in her bed when they were home alone.

"Good, thanks again for last night." He repeated himself.

"I would say anytime," She said, looking down at her duvet, "But I don't think my Mom would go for that idea." She admitted with a smile.

 _Had she officially rebelled against her Mom?_

"Sarah, really you don't know what you being here meant to me.…" He shifted toward her, not seeming to care about her own bed hair or morning breath and reached a hand delicately around the back of her neck and gently pulled her face to his. He poured everything into the kiss, and she moved herself closer to him and ended up nearly sitting in his lap. His other hand wrapped around her waist and grazed along her skin where her t-shirt had been ruffled up when she had been asleep.

His hand skimmed along her skin and _that_ woke her right up. Like the contact was pure electricity sparking to life in her veins. He must have felt her jump at the contact because he removed his hand and mumbled an apology against her lips.

She shook her head, trying to tell him it was fine, feeling suddenly confident by her rebellious night.

Her alarm rang again, the second one that meant she had to get up right now or be late for school. They pulled apart begrudgingly.

"I guess that means we have to get ready?" He asked softly.

"Afraid so." She said smiling sadly.

"I'll get my clothes out of the drier?"

"Yeah, I'm going to grab a quick shower." She told him, feeling that if she didn't, her Mom would somehow _know_ later on that she had slept beside Connor.

"I'll make breakfast." He said, kissing her forehead. "It's the least I can do."

 _Sarah was pretty sure she was having the best morning of her life._

* * *

After her shower, she sent a quick text to Emily in which she informed her best friend that Connor was making her breakfast, to which Emily replied with a long line of eye heart emoji's.

Connor was waiting for her, in his clothes from the night before, with pancakes ready on the table. Her Mom texted her to see how the night went and Sarah replied saying that her and Emily had gotten an early night and now were almost headed for the bus.

She sat beside Connor, eating in relative silence as he wondered out loud how he was going to go back home after school or talk to Henry after the fight with his Dad.

"Everything was a shock, I'm sure your Mom and Chris will understand." Sarah said. "And at least they knew from Henry that you were okay."

"I'll tell them I slept in my car." He told her, "I don't want you getting in trouble because of my mess."

They turned on the news and weather report, the worst of the storm had subsided in the middle of the night and the roads were being treated.

"Can I drive you to school?"

"I'd love that."

Even though the circumstances were far from ideal, Sarah didn't want to leave their little bubble just yet, it was compliment to just how comfortable Connor made her feel.

They cleaned up after themselves, both double checking that nothing would give their 'sleepover' away to her Mom and hit the road.

They arrived to school just after Sarah's usual bus. Her friends had gone on ahead of her but Sarah wouldn't leave Connor's side the entire walk into school, making sure her hand was in his, just so he knew she was on his side.

"Hi you two." Emily said as she bumped her shoulder with Sarah's, appearing out of nowhere with the biggest smirk ever. "I had such a great time last night, thanks for having me over, that snow was so bad." She declared just as their friends came into ear shot.

Sarah had to stop herself from laughing as she watched a smile play on Connor's lips. Before his expression darkened upon seeing Natalie and Henry waiting for him by his locker.

* * *

 **Sooo. Rheese had the sweetest sleepover! This one is honestly one of our favorite chapters to date you guys and with everything going on in the fandom right now, it's pretty bittersweet but we do hope you stick around with us!**

 **Please review :)**


	23. Chapter 23

**Holding On.**

 **Chapter 23**

"Sarah, are you coming?" Emily called.

"In a minute." She replied almost instantly, not letting go of Connor's hand. Emily eyed them both but decided against asking anything.

"Go, I'll be fine." Connor told her.

"No…"

"Sarah, you need to get to class."

"Miss Reese?" Came their guidance counselor's voice from behind which caused her to instantly let go of her boyfriend's hand. "Shouldn't you be in class already?"

Sarah froze. "Sorry Mr. Charles, I'm keeping her." Connor put in before she could reply. "She's going…"

"Connor…"

"Listen, you already did so much for me, I will be fine." He whispered to her. "Right now you need to get to class Sarah, please."

She wanted to stay put but Mr. Charles was still there and so were Natalie and Henry, she had nowhere to go, he leaned his forehead against hers, touching her cheek before she took a step back and walked the path Emily had a few minutes earlier, her gaze never leaving Connor's as she went.

"Mr. Rhodes? Is there a problem?" Daniel Charles was beside him before Connor could register what was happening.

"No sir."

"Well, I suggest you imitate Miss Reese and head to class."

And he did just that, avoiding his locker and two pairs of worried eyes as he went.

* * *

Sarah caught up with Emily and Monique as they made their way to Homeroom.

"So…I want to hear all about you and Connor last night…" Emily smirked as they separated to let Sarah walk between them. It was the little things she appreciated, with other 'friends' back in Michigan, Sarah would have been left to the side, left to chase after them, but here she was included.

"What happened last night?" Monique asked.

Sarah momentarily freaked out, wondering if Emily would let their little secret slip. "Connor drove Sarah home after Molly's. I bet they made out." Emily giggled, not even blinking at the lie.

"Have I mentioned you are so lucky?" Monique gushed.

Sarah opened her mouth to speak when they were approaching their classroom when she got cut off by a loud scream. Emily squealed so loud that Sarah jumped and Monique looked around.

"Gabby! You said you weren't coming back until next week!" Emily raced over to another girl that Sarah hadn't seen before, walking from the other direction.

"Hey Emily." The girl laughed as Emily barreled into her with a hug. Reese looked around as Monique followed suit.

Sarah was left in the middle of the hallway. "Oh, hey, Gabby is back." Jay appeared at Sarah's side with a lopsided smile on his face.

"Gabby?"

"Yeah Gabriela Dawson, she's been on a semester studying abroad. Emily was so lost when Gabby had to leave."

Sarah wondered if there was a reason that Jay was blushing slightly.

"Oh." Sarah said, sure she had heard of Gabby, one of the other people in their group of friends taking a semester in Puerto Rico just like her older brother had done when he had been a sophomore, but she didn't like the sudden pang of jealousy brewing in the pit of her stomach.

Jay gave Gabby a warm one handed hug and Emily jumped in with the introduction, "Gabby, this is Sarah Reese who I've been telling you about. Sarah, this is Gabby Dawson, my best friend since _forever_."

"Oh, _Sarah_. Hey, I've heard a lot about you, good to finally put a face to the name."

"If everyone is finished with their loitering out here, class is about to start." Their teacher called from the classroom doorway. "And welcome back Gabriela."

Sarah found her usual spot beside Monique filled by Gabby and ended up sitting next to one of Jay's friends called Mouse. She didn't even know his real name, she sighed, missing her spot "So, how are you finding Chicago?" Gabby asked as she walked with Sarah and Jay to History afterwards.

"Good, better than I thought." Sarah said, thinking of Connor instantly. "How was your last semester?"

"Eh…" Gabby gave a one shoulder shrug, "I'm glad to be back home to be honest." She leaned over to talk to Jay. "And what is this I hear about you still not asking Erin out?"

Jay moaned, blushing. "Oh come on Gabby!"

"No, no, you promised me you'd work on it. I go away for _six months_ and it still hasn't happened?" She pestered.

"Maybe I'm too hung up on my last hook up." Jay smirked and Gabby threw her head back in a laugh.

"Oh yeah that's my problem too." She mocked and Sarah felt like she was hearing the punch line to a joke she had missed.

"Well, have you talked to Matt yet?" Jay asked.

Gabby glared at Jay, "We're not talking about me."

"Well then talk about Sarah, she's the one who actually has a love life…" Jay pointed out.

"I heard." Gabby smirked, "Don't blame you, Rhodes has that bad boy, tall dark handsome thing going on doesn't he?"

"Eh…yeah, I guess so." Sarah said nervously.

"Will still as mopey as ever?" Gabby asked Jay and Sarah was beginning to feel more like a shadow in the conversation

Jay pondered at the question, "Nah not so bad anymore, _Nina_ has been around a lot lately."

"Wait, I'm sorry, hold on, someone other than Nat?"

"Yup, I know weird, right?"

"Yeah, tell me about it." Gabby seemed to then realise that Sarah was still there, "So Sarah, you been to Molly's yet?"

Jay scoffed, "Oh please, we are good friends to have, of course we've brought her to Molly's."

"Yeah. It's great." Sarah offered.

"Hermann is the best. Gave me my first job. Ugh, I've missed milkshakes so much!"

Susan's comment replayed in her mind, one of the first times they had visited the diner, that Sarah should look into getting some work experience. But she hadn't found the time.

"We should swing by after school, I have to use all the free time I have before hockey season starts." Jay said. Sarah didn't even know her friend played hockey. _Just how much did Gabby know that she didn't, Sarah wondered._

"Oh don't you start, all I heard last night was Antonio go on and on and _on_ about stupid game strategies. But yes Molly's. Do you even have to ask?"

"Sarah, you want to come?" Jay piped up.

"Sorry, I can't." Sarah said. She knew her Mom wouldn't like her hanging out with friends again after supposedly having a sleepover the night before, plus Jason was always clingy to her after spending time with James.

"Some other time." Gabby offered.

* * *

Connor managed to avoid talking to his friends all day, and they hadn't tried to talk to him either. After effectively shutting them down with non-committal nods and monosyllabic replies, they had given up trying to pry information out of him. They just continued to throw worried glances his way.

If they noticed he was in the same clothes as yesterday, they didn't comment.

He ended up hiding in the library during lunch. It was one of those crappy days that all he wanted to do was go to Molly's, get some food and spend the evening with his Mom but he didn't even know if she would talk to him, not after what had gone down with Chris.

As the day winded down, he found Sarah walking out from school by herself. "Hey you." He felt a smile grace his face for the first time since that morning.

 _Waking up beside her felt like eons ago._

"Hey." She smiled, closing on the space and hugging him. To say he was surprised was an understatement. He had gotten the distinct impression early on that his girlfriend was not a fan of PDA, something that he admired, if he had been with someone like Ava, someone who was with him for his status, he would be flaunted around like a show pony.

"How was your day?" He asked, getting a hold of her hand.

Her face fell slightly, "okay, Gabby Dawson is back, she's friends with…well my friends?"

"Oh yeah, she's the Hockey team captain's little sister." Connor said but was worried when he watched Sarah deflate. "Was she nice?"

"Yeah, she seems nice, it's like their little group has been completed though, you know?"

 _Without her_ , he could practically hear the unspoken words.

"Oh, hey Sarah." Ethan Choi approached them. "You haven't seen my sister around have you? I've been looking for her…"

"Eh, last I saw she was with Gabby Dawson."

Ethan sighed, "Oh that explains it, she's back early. Well that's certainly a duo. My sister and Gabby. Great." He rolled his eyes with a smile and went in search of his sister.

"So, what are you doing for after school?" Connor asked, dragging her attention back to him. It wasn't her evening she was worried about, it was his."Home, study, Jason, the usual…" She said squeezing his hand, all she wanted to do was offer him a place to go that would put off the fact that sometime, he had to go home.Connor nodded as they started walking towards Jason's building. "I guess I better stop putting off the inevitable right?" He sighed."I guess. But you'll call me later right? Tell me how it went." Connor looked at her as she made her request, like he couldn't quite understand how she was still there with him, after all the drama."Yeah I will, if my Mom doesn't ground me forever. Thanks again Sarah, for everything." He placed a kiss on the corner of her mouth and started making his way to his car.

* * *

He suddenly felt very similar to what he guessed Claire felt like when she used to try and sneak back into the house after getting into trouble.And this wasn't just trouble, he had done something to hurt Elizabeth. Even if they had hurt him, he knew the argument he had had with Hermann would seriously take a toll on his Mom.

Exes or not, Chris had always been her rock.He let himself in and was making his way to the stairs when he got caught."Stop right there young man!" Ah, Katie had caught him. She stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips, looking angrier than he had ever seen her before."Katie…""Don't you 'Katie' me," She told him, pointing her finger at his face. "Do you have any idea of how worried we all were?" She demanded."I…" He started but she cut him off again."You leave in here in tears and that temper of yours and there's a snowstorm and you don't come home! You are lucky we heard from Henry that you were safe. I nearly expect this behavior from your sister, but not from you! You know that stress isn't good for your Mom. What on earth were you thinking?" She practically shrieked before surprising him with a bone crushing hug. "Thank goodness you're in one piece."He sighed. "Is my Mom okay?"

Katie's gaze softened.

"She was so worried, we all were. You pull something like that again and it will be me you'll have to answer to, hear?" Katie scrunched her nose. "Did you sleep in those? Go on and take a shower. Your Mom isn't back from her walk with Claire yet."

"Claire?" He asked utterly surprised.

"Yes, she seems to have taken a turn that one. I thought I'd never see the day."

Connor did as he was told, thankful to have a minute to himself, his room suddenly felt cold as he stepped in, Ava's watch was laid out on his desk, he put it inside the drawer and sat on the bed taking a deep breath as he headed for the bathroom, playing Sarah's playlist, praying the music would muffle the thoughts inside his head.

Later, he knocked on his mother's door cautiously, like he used to do as a little boy. "I was wondering where you were."

Connor prepared himself for anything or everything mentally and stepped inside.

"Mom, I…" she shushed him with a finger to her lips.

"Sit."

He did.

"Do you remember when you were about 8 and you had your first fight at school?"

Yeah, he had put on a good punch to a bully kid. "Remember what I told you? Connor shrugged. "I told you we each had our battles to conquer. I've already made peace with mine Connor, that's what they are, separate moments in which we have to make certain decisions.."

"So, knowing he sleeps around and doing nothing, it's your way to say you give up?"

Elizabeth's gaze softened. "And you lying to us? That's… what? An strategy?"

"My beautiful, smart boy. That's exactly what it is. It doesn't make it right by any means but, sometimes it's necessary to make certain sacrifices, for the people that we love."

"Like you and Hermann?" Connor put in.

"Yes, Chris and I knew what we were getting into when we started dating and also knew what we were giving up once we had to go our separate ways."

Connor took a minute to contemplate her words.

"And speaking of Chris, he told me you two argued." His mother said. "He said he was afraid to let you go but you just got in the car and drove, without looking back."

Connor nodded. "Does he hate me?"

"He could never hate you Connor."

"I hate me." He admitted. "For being so mad, for letting my emotions get the best of me… for being like _him_." Elizabeth understood.

"Your father has his faults, I know, but in the end, he's your father and he's the one who's going to be here." Connor's heart dropped. "I don't have a lot of time left…"

"Mom…."

"No, you are not a little boy anymore and I need to begin preparing you for the idea that I will be gone soon."

Connor felt his eyes prickle with tears. "I already talked to Claire. She was pretty mad herself, but honestly every mother wants to be the perfect one for their children and as such a wife to their husband, the truth is, being perfect, that is the last thing I want to be. I'm flawed and that allows me to be human. To know that this life, the money, the parties, it means nothing if that's all you are left with."

He was shivering by now. "I...I'm so sorry Mom…"

"I know, come here." She opened her arms for him, and he moved to embrace her, inhaling her scent for comfort. "I need you to promise me something sweetheart…." she said, running her fingers through his hair. "I need you to not be so strong all the time. You don't have to, if you keep wanting to fix everything in life, you are going to miss the most important thing. To enjoy what it has for you. And you my beautiful baby boy are going to do amazing things in with your life."

* * *

Sarah was fidgeting with her phone as she finished a few notes on her homework. She had a headache so she stood up from her desk and threw herself in bed. A sudden familiarity hitting her out of nowhere. Connor's cologne.

Her mother hadn't done any laundry. _She didn't know whether to freak out, what if her mother connected the dots and somehow found out Connor had been up in her room? That she had lied to her and he had spent the night?_

Sarah would be in so much trouble, she imagined her mother would ship her back to Michigan with her grandma.

She went to check on Jason a moment later, trying to clear her mind, focusing on her brother usually didn't give her room for nothing else.

So that's what she did, she helped him with his homework, made dinner and made sure he had a bath.

"Sarah?" Jason asked suddenly as he got into his fire truck PJ's.

"Yeah buddy?"

"Daddy says I might come live with him soon. Are you coming too?"

The question made her freeze. _What?_

"When did he tell you that?"

"Last night, I couldn't make it home because of the big storm and Daddy said I can even have new things in my room."

Sarah had been to James's apartment a few times since he'd moved, he had 3 bedrooms, one for her as well, even though she knew it was more of a guest bedroom than her own, still, Jason had one and was happy about it. And that was enough for her.

"I'm sure he just means weekends bud." Sarah said, trying to control the emotion in her voice.

"Yeah, cause if I move, you move, right?" He asked, making her heart sink.

"Always." She said simply.

But it wasn't simple and Sarah knew it, she made it to her room after tucking Jason in and almost felt the urge to call her stepfather and argue, but she didn't want to make things harder for her Mom. If James was planning to keep Jason, her mother would have to intervene legally and Sarah knew just how complicated custody issues could get, not by any extent of it, but both parties were smart and even of it was hard for her to admit, both wanted what was best for Jason.

Suddenly her phone buzzed. "Hey." She answered almost too quickly.

"Hi." Connor's voice came from the other line. "Sorry I didn't call earlier. How is Jason?"

Sarah smiled, for just how much he cared, he knew the little boy loved his Dad and it was good for him to spend time with him, but James could also make him pretty upset.

"He's alright, James told him they could decorate the room he's got for him at his place." Sarah said plainly.

"So, he's staying for good?"

"I guess. How did it.. Did you talk to your Mom?" She didn't mean to push him but she'd been so worried for him.

"That…" Connor took a minute to reply. "Claire is transfering closer so they can spend more time together, apparently."

He kept avoiding the subject as he asked her other things and she didn't made much a big deal out of it, he was already dealing with so much. Suddenly, he remained quiet.

"Connor? Are you alright?"

"My Dad's home." He said wearily. "And Mom...Everything is so messed up Sarah…"

She bit her lip. "Hey, no…"

"My Mom is dying and there's nothing I can do to fix it." He said bitterly after a moment and Sarah felt her heart drop. "I've never said that out loud before, I'm sorry to be dropping all this on you,"

"Don't be." Was all Sarah managed to say. "What do you need?"

"You, I wish you were here." He said quickly and she felt her eyes water. _She wished that too._

"I'm here." She replied. "I'm not going anywhere…"

* * *

"Hey Claire." Henry smiled easily when she came into the empty diner, just before closing time.

She was happy to see his familiar face, happy to pretend that for one more minute she was just Claire. And everything was fine.

 _That her Mom wasn't dying and her Dad wasn't a cheat._

"Hey Henry." She said, taking a seat at the counter.

He wiped down the shiny surface, looking very much like his Dad, "So I hear you're transferring schools huh?"

"News travels fast." She nodded, "I mean it was because of my Dad...but now, well it's for my Mom. She spent so much time carrying this lie around, trying to take care of us, it's probably time I'm around to take care of her too.."

She didn't know where the confession came from, but she had always trusted Henry.

"Anyway, how's your Dad?" She asked, "I heard about him and Connor…"

"Yeah it was this huge blowout, I've never seen the two of them like that before." Henry sighed, putting the cloth down. "And Connor didn't even go home, do you know where he went?"

Claire shook her head, "No, I've no idea. I didn't even know my brother could take after me in being so rebellious." She cringed. She hadn't exactly been there for Connor either, or been a good role model.

"Maybe he stayed at Sarah's?" She mused. "They seem pretty close."

"Nah, her Mom wouldn't allow it, Sarah says she's not too happy with her and Connor."

"Then I have no idea where he would have gone. He would usually come to you guys if he was upset."

"I've just placed that order, should be here tomorrow…" Chris said into the phone as he emerged from the kitchen. "I thought I heard voices, thought my son here and that maybe he was having some secret girlfriend over." Chris laughed, "How have you been kiddo?"

She shot him a look. "How have _you_ been?"

"That brother of yours is home safe and sound, your Mom just rang, I'm better now."

"Sorry I let him go, we were both upset." She admitted.

"I get it." Chris said somberly. "I didn't stop him either."

"Right." Claire rose her eyebrows, "But I mean, try having your parents telling you two different sets of lies and finding out that your 'uncle' could have nearly been your Dad."

"Okay, you got me, nevermind." Chris said.

The door opened and the bell chimed, "Sorry, we're closing up." Henry called without even looking up from where he was resetting the coffee machine.

"That's what I was aiming for." Connor's voice announced and Claire glanced around.

She couldn't be mad at him for running away or getting into fights or worrying their parents because she had done plenty of that herself, but it didn't mean that she wasn't annoyed or scared out of her mind.

"Glad to see you're alive." She deadpanned. "Do you know how worried I was?" She demanded, and she had been, she had stayed up all night.

Connor looked taken aback by her statement and cleared his throat. "I'm here to talk to Chris, can we do this later?"

His sister could take a hint, Connor thought as she hopped down off her stool. "Fine, see you at home. Bye guys." She waved to the Hermanns.

"Hey Connor." Henry said neutrally, but stayed behind the counter, waiting like a guard dog at his father's side, just in case Connor was going to blow up at him again, not that he could blame him.

"Kid, why don't you go count up the rest of the order we got in today in the storeroom?" Chris said eyeing the boy.

Henry glanced between his father and Connor. "Fine."

It was just the two of them.

"Look I'm sorry.." Chris said at the same time that Connor apologised.

Chris sighed, "Why don't we take a seat?"

They did.

"Connor." Chris shook his head, "You know I love you like you were my own son, so you gotta know that running off like that last night, it wasn't good, for anyone. We were worried sick."

Connor nodded stiffly, "Yeah, I get it."

"I'm real sorry that you ended up getting caught up in all this, your mom was only trying to protect you. I was just her sounding board kid." He said. "And on that note, you gotta believe me this time when I tell you that I'm not still hung up on her or anything crazy like that. We were kids when we were in love, now I just love you like family." He placed his hand on his heart. "I love my wife, and my kids, and I love you three too. I wouldn't do anything to mess any of that up, you hear me?"

Connor shook his head, "I didn't mean what I said...I was upset...and I was jumping to conclusions. I'm really sorry, and didn't mean to insult Cindy or anything. I just…" he sighed, "You're one of the few people I trust Chris and I seemed to forget that last night. I was just looking for someone to blame."

Chris nodded, "I know. I know. Don't get me wrong, I was livid too when I found out, I wanted to punch your Dad's face in, no offense, but it wouldn't be good for your Mom for us to get railed up."

Connor laughed humorlessly. "I hear that."

"And for the record, I'm sorry for getting all hot headed on you too last night, that wasn't very mature of me." Chris said. "We good now?" Connor smiled shyly.

"Yeah, we are kid. Come here." Hermann stood up, offering his arms to him.

Connor moved, hugging Hermann closely and feeling like a huge weight had been lifted of his shoulders.

"I love you kiddo, you know that?" Hermann said slapping his cheek tenderly as his voice broke a little, Connor had tears in his eyes as he felt Chris's hand on the back of his head.

"Why don't I hear yelling?" Henry came out of the back. Connor turned his face over to his best friend. "Are we all hugging now?"

"You two are…" Chris said. "Listen, what you kids have, it's pretty amazing, and it doesn't happen often."

"I'm sorry I acted like a jerk Henry."

"Hey, happens to the best of us." He smiled. "You know, you are my brother C."

* * *

Claire was in her room when the front door opened. She went into the hallway, Connor had just gotten home.

"Hey." He said as soon as they met upstairs.

"Hi." She told him. "Did you talk to Chris?"

Connor nodded. "Good." She smiled. "Listen,I feel like I need to apologize too."

He blinked. "I should have tried harder. To be a better big sister to you."

Connor froze as his heart sank. He hadn't been supportive either, not really. "I'm sorry too."

They remained quiet as Connor's phone buzzed.

"Is it Sarah?" Claire asked. "You really do like her huh?" Get it, I'll see you in the morning."

Connor smiled. His mother was right. We all had our battles to choose, but for the first time in years, he felt as if he wasn't alone to deal with all of it.

* * *

 **Aww so this was mostly Connor making things right and Sarah supporting him. I mean how adorable are they?**


	24. Chapter 24

**Holding On.**

 **Chapter 24**

Natalie grabbed her bag as she heard a honk. Henry was there to pick her up.

But instead, she found Connor leaned against his car. "Hi." He said.

Natalie eyed him closely. "I hope you don't mind, I asked Henry if I could give you a ride, I thought maybe we could, talk?"

She nodded, moving over to get in the car. "Are you okay?" She asked.

"No, not really, my best friend is not talking to me. Not that I blame her, what I mean is that I'm sorry…" He offered her a smile. "I know you were trying to protect me Nat…"

"You're just figuring that out?"

"A lot of things actually…" he admitted. "Still am, but I don't know how to do it alone."

Natalie gazed up at him. "You are not alone, you idiot, no matter how up in your head you are, I'm never going to stop caring about you."

She smiled. "And plus, my baby is going to need its uncle Connor."

Sarah was waiting for Connor over at his usual parking space as he'd asked her that morning.

She smiled as soon as she saw him and Natalie get out. "I'll see you guys inside." Nat grinned rubbing Connor's arm as she went.

"Hey."

"Hi." Sarah smiled. "Everything okay?"

"It will be. Come here." He grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the side of the building, kissing her softly, rubbing the back of her neck. "Good morning."

Sarah took a minute to catch her breath as they broke apart. "We should get to class."

They had math first so they walked together holding hands, Connor telling Sarah about his conversation with Chris. "It's good that you guys talked, see? I told you It would help."

"You did." He smiled.

"Connor Rhodes, look at you, skinny as hell. You need to get back on my team." A voice said as they turned around.

"Hey man."

"Hey yourself. I was coming to find Hermann, have you seen him?"

"Not this morning, sorry."

"Oh, that's alright, hi, Sarah, right? Sorry, I don't think we've been properly introduced. Antonio Dawson."

"Captain of the Hockey Team." Sarah smiled.

"That's me. Nice to meet you. Well listen, I won't take any more of your time but if you happen to see Henry, there's tryouts after school at the local rink."

"Got it, I'll let him know." Connor said.

"Great, thanks."

And with that he left. Sarah turned to look at Connor. "You played hockey?"

"Yeah… But I busted my knee last year so that's that's all for my sports career. Hermann thought I was getting an scholarship and everything but… Henry is better anyway and that's his thing."

"Do you miss it?"

"I do, it was a good way to let off steam." He mused.

"I've never been good at skating…" Sarah admitted shyly.

"We could go sometime. I can teach you if you want."

"I'd love that."

"Deal." He grinned. It was such a change, from a few nights ago. "It still doesn't count as your birthday present though."

They've reached the classroom so Sarah was left to wonder exactly what he had planned for her.

* * *

"Hey Sarah." Jay said as he joined her in the cafeteria queue. This was odd enough, Jay and Will always brought their own lunches that they made at home.

"Hi Jay." She greeted him, happy to have him to herself. She cringed at her own thoughts, jealousy didn't suit her. But she had gotten used to having her set of friends and she dreaded the thoughts of being ousted by her group. What if she was just the replacement while Gabby was away. What would happen now that the other girl was back?

"How did you find that history class?" He asked as the line moved forward.

She frowned at him, she didn't think she had ever seen Jay so jittery before. "Are you okay Jay?" She asked, ignoring his question.

He smiled despite himself, "Is it that obvious I'm nervous?"

She didn't want to be that mean, but she thought that it kind of was, he looked deathly pale. "No, you just seem a little off."

"There's hockey tryouts today after school." He explained. "There are a few open spaces in the team this year and I'm trying out again. Let's just say last year didn't go so well." He scratched the back of his neck.

"I didn't know you liked hockey." She said.

"Yeah it's like the one thing my Dad and Will and I have in common. Will is already guaranteed his spot from last year."

"Well I'm sure you'll do great." She told him.

"Thanks Sarah. I hope so." He lowered his voice, "It's just…you know Dad comes and sees all of Will's games, so if I got on the team, he could see me play as well." He laughed at his own confession, "Is that stupid of me or what?"

"It's not stupid at all." She told him. That was why she had worked so hard at her spelling bee competitions in elementary school, all she wanted was her Mom's attention, especially after Jason had been born.

"Are you free today? The tryouts are open for people to come and see, it'd be nice to see a friendly face, Emily and Gabby are going too." He smiled.

She knew her Mom wouldn't be home until after dinner that night, so what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. She wanted to support the friend who had done nothing but support her since she arrived.

"I'll be there." She told him.

* * *

Natalie entered the rink bleachers after school and couldn't stop herself from rubbing her growing baby bump. She didn't care that she always got weird glances or snarky comments because of it, no matter what her parents thought. They had given her until the end of January until they came to a decision as to if she could stay in school or get a private tutor.

She was still hoping for the former.

If anyone asked she was at the tryouts to support Henry, not that he needed it, he was the team's star player, he was guaranteed his spot. But really she was just glad of a chance to see Jeff.

It broke her heart every day that he kept a serious distance from her, like she had some contagious disease.

She loved her baby, and she loved him. She just wished he could prove that he loved them. She knew that his parents had come down on him hard when they found out, they even came over to talk things out with her parents. And she knew it had all been a mistake, but she just hoped that he would come around.

She looked for him on the ice, spotting his number easily. She had worn his number to all the games last year, she had been the envy of every girl in her grade, dating a junior and one of the hockey team players.

Now all she had was the pity of every girl in her grade instead.

She spotted Connor easily in the sparse crowd, "Hey." She said as she took a seat beside him. She knew he missed playing.

"Hey Nat." he said, never taking his eyes off the ice where everyone was warming up.

She looked around for his other half. Since everything with his Mom and Dad, Sarah had barely left his side lately.

"No Sarah?"

"Not yet, Mr Charles called her in for a meeting." He explained.

"Everything okay?" She asked, she knew all about meetings with the guidance counsellor, having one every week since her pregnancy had become public knowledge.

"Yeah, think so. He keeps her updated on Jason's progress as well."

"Oh that's good, she takes being the big sister seriously huh?"

"So do you." He retorted.

"Yeah…Not that I'll have much time for them in a while." She admitted, glancing at her bump.

"They'll be fine. And so will you." He said, squeezing her hand for support. "But what are you doing here, reminiscing?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I want to see who my replacement is."

"I'm here for Henry." She lied.

"Uh huh." He nodded, and she knew he didn't believe her lie, but he didn't call her up on it, and for that she was grateful.

"Am I late?" Sarah arrived a few minutes later, slightly out of breath, but just before the actual tryouts started. She had taken the bus there.

"Nope, just in time. Meeting go okay?" Connor greeted her with a kiss on her cheek as she took a seat on his other side and she waved over to Nat.

"Eh…yeah…I mean I think…he gave me something to think about." She said. He eyed her curiously but decided it was for her to tell him.

"Hey Sarah, hey guys." Emily Choi passed by in front of them, linked arm in arm with Gabby Dawson.

"Hey.." Sarah seemed to smile wistfully their way as they took a seat a couple of rows over.

"Do you want to go sit with them? we don't mind." Nat offered.

Sarah practically squirmed in her seat. "No…it's okay, they seem fine without me."Connor offered her his hand as she leaned closer into him.

Nat pretended not to notice that Connor put his arm around her back.

The new kids trying out started their first set of drills but all Nat could focus on was Jeff.

"Woo, go Jay!" Sarah called as Jay skated up to his puck.

"Sarah, he's not doing anything yet." Connor pointed out with a bemused smile on his face. "And you're cheering on a Halstead, really?"

"Hey, they are nice people." She replied, swatting him on the chest, "I told him I'd come and give him some moral support."

"Have you ever even seen hockey before?" Connor asked while holding in laughter.

"Okay, no, I have no idea what's happening…" Sarah admitted, "Ouch." She jumped and grimaced at the heavy tackles that were taking place.

"Yeah, ice-hockey, not the friendliest of sports." Nat commented. "Hey, if you're ever free sometime, you could come over to my house, we could watch Mighty Ducks or something, or I should have some home videos of Connor and Henry playing pee-wee somewhere." Natalie offered. Sarah was one of the few people who hadn't treated her any differently and right now she needed all the friends she could get.

Sarah's face lit up. "That sounds great."

"What about me?" Connor asked.

"We hang out enough." Nat told him, holding on a grin. "And anyway, I need a girls night in badly."

Sarah sank back into her seat when Jay scored and she didn't notice what was happening until Emily and Gabby stood up cheering and holding two signs with Go Jay on them.

Henry was in his usual flying form and Natalie was just glad that Jeff and Will got through the tryouts without seriously injuring the other. At least Antonio had the sense to keep them apart.

Natalie smiled to herself when she saw Sarah following all the action on the ice with the amount of attention she always gave to her classes.

After an hour of grueling drills and a game, the tryouts came to a close, the audience gave the players a round of applause.

"Hey Sarah, are you coming with us? We're going to try and catch Jay when they come out of the changing rooms?" Emily asked as she passed by again. "Or, really someone wants an excuse to talk to Matt." she elbowed her friend playfully.

"Shut up." Gabby threw back.

"I can't, I have to get home, Mary's watching Jason." Sarah told them.

"Oh come on, it's like ten minutes tops." Gabby said.

"I can't, sorry." Sarah replied, standing up and putting her bag over her shoulder.

"Henry is taking you, right Nat?" Connor asked and when Nat nodded, he turned to Sarah, "I can give you a ride home."

"Okay, have fun with your boyfriend I guess, c'mon Emily." Gabby said, pulling her friend along.

Natalie said goodbye to a sad looking Sarah and Connor who took her hand and waited around on bated breath in case Jeff might come around and look for her. She stayed seated until Henry came to get her.

He seemed to know what she was thinking the moment she looked at him with tears in her eyes. "Don't let him get to you like this Nat, I know you don't think so, but he's not worth it right now. Let's get you home."

* * *

"How was your day?" Sarah's Mom asked when she arrived home after Sarah had put Jason to bed.

"Good, I had a meeting with Mr Charles."

"Oh? How did it go?"

"He said that based on my test results from before the break and teachers recommendations that I should consider taking more junior classes."

"Really? That's great huh?"

"Yeah…" She said hesitantly. "I mean I'll just miss seeing my friends in class, I guess…"

She didn't even mention the Gabby issue to her Mom.

And Susan hadn't mentioned anything about Connor either.

Friday came and Sarah walked out as Jay caught up with her. "Oh good, you're alone."

"Huh?"

"Antonio just offered me Connor's old spot." Jay said.

"That's amazing Jay, congratulations!" Sarah smiled widely.

"It is, kinda awesome, right? I mean your boyfriend isn't going to love it but.."

"You boys are way over your heads." Sarah rolled her eyes at him. "Is not like you stole his spot."

"It feels like I did, he was amazing Sarah, I mean I'm not nearly as good, not that I would admit that out loud, specially not to my brother but…"

Sarah smiled, she was glad to hear Jay boost over Connor like that. "Anyway, where are you off to? To pick up Jason?"

"No, James is getting him. I told my Mom I was going to go to Molly's after school…"

"And you are not…."

"I am, but Connor's taking me somewhere after."

Jay smiled. "Oh, I can take a hint. I'll see you Monday, then?"

"Yeah, congrats again on making the team."

"Thanks, I'll see you around Sarah…"

She was left alone to wonder the hall by herself, Friday's seemed to have that effect on the building.

Sarah made it outside to find Connor waiting for her. "Hey, how was last period?"

"Good." She kissed his cheek. "I'm going to be glad to have more classes with you guys though."

"Me too." He mused, opening the door for her. "So, did you talk to your Mom?"

"I did. She said to be home by 8, I think she's way too happy about me having extra courses.." Sarah admitted.

"We'll take that as a victory then." He smiled, taking her hand as he drove. "So I thought we'd go to Molly's and then the rink?"

"Sounds like a plan."

They made it to the rink after four, Connor had paid in a favour with Antonio. "So, these will fit." Connor said as they changed into their skates, he handed them over and Sarah slipped them on the best she could.

Connor smiled. "I can help you, here." He knelt over and accommodated them and tied them. Sarah bit her lip as she watched him. "What?" He mused.

"You're good at this."

"Years of practice, you'll get the hang of it…" He said. "Give me your hand." She did and he helped her balance her weight over on the skates, he didn't even flinch as they walked, a freezing air filled Sarah's lungs as they stepped into the rink, she was holding onto him for dear life. "Relax." He offered. "I've got you."

And he did, they walked slowly and he tried to direct her into going by herself at her own pace, she was doing great until she fell face first into the ice, Connor was by her side in no time though."Are you okay?"

"I told you I sucked."

"Rome wasn't built in a day, come here." He pulled her up, holding her close to his body, his scarf, the one he'd given her was wrapped around her neck. "Okay, let's stand over here." He led her to the edge so she could hold onto something firm. "You're doing great Sarah…"

"I am not. I'm not even remotely good and I'm not used to not being good at things." She said.

"I know…" He told her with a shy smile, grabbing her cheeks, Sarah shivered but not from the cold. He kissed her. "But you got to trust me…"

"I do…" She said, pulling his own scarf closer and crashing his lips into hers.

Connor touched her nose. "Let's go again then."

He drove her home right before curfew. "I had a really good time, although I'm going to be sore tomorrow." She admitted as they parked in front of her house.

Connor laughed softly, leaning closer to her. "Where does it hurt?"

She felt a rush of playfulness wash over her. "Right here." She glanced over at her red cheek, his lips brushed it softly.

"Better?"

"Hmmm…" She mused. "Much better."

They kissed softly and Sarah opened the door to get out. "Thought so."

She had a feeling she'd be asking for more skating lessons in the future.

* * *

It turned out that Sarah's girls night in with Natalie turned into an afternoon thing on Saturday. Sarah was reorganizing her study schedule and preparing new notes on all the new classes she was going to be taking when Natalie texted her.

"Hey Sarah, my family have all gone out for the day, you free for a few hours?"

"Hi Natalie, yeah sure that sounds great, I'm just finishing up some study, I'll let you know when I'm leaving." She texted the older girl back.

Jason was having his own day out with James and her Mom still hadn't emerged from her home office yet, having taken over the kitchen table with files. Nobody was going to miss her. Natalie messaged her back with the information on what buses to get that would let her off just down the street from her house.

"Hey Mom, a friend just asked me over for a few hours, is that okay?" Sarah asked from the kitchen doorway an hour later after she had put away her things and got changed.

"What friend?" Her Mom asked without looking up.

Ah. Susan wasn't exactly a fan of Natalie Manning and her 'situation'.

"Jay." She replied instantly, "You know, the guy who is Jason's bus buddy? He's just made the hockey team and wants to show me some old hockey movies so I'll actually understand it all."

"I don't think you'll have the time to be going to hockey games with all your new junior classes Sweetie."

Sarah's heart sank. But that was an argument for another day.

"Yeah but he'll be talking about it all the time and I won't get any of it, can I just go today?" She begged.

"Fine. Okay. But be home by six?"

"I promise." Sarah smiled before nearly bounding out the door.

Natalie met her at the bus stop. "Thank you so much for coming over! It's still awkward around my parents really and a family day out was not my thing. I'm glad we can finally hang out." The older girl smiled after giving Sarah a hug.

"Well it's good you asked me over, my mind was frying from studying all morning." Sarah admitted.

"You love it though!" the other girl replied, Sarah forgot she did get to see her in her element in their study group.

Natalie led her into her house and into the living room. "Don't mind the mess, my brothers and sisters ran riot this morning. Popcorn?"

They settled down on the sofa with a huge bowl of popcorn and sweets and drinks surrounding them. Sarah felt herself relaxing, somehow it was exactly what she needed too.

Natalie's phone rang and she put it on loud speaker while she set about to put the movie on Netflix. "Hey Henry, you're on loudspeaker, say hi to Sarah."

"Hi Sarah! Is Connor there too? Are you hanging out without me?" Henry huffed in fake annoyance and Sarah smiled at his behavior.

"They're not attached at the hip you know, it's just me and Sarah. Girl's day." Nat retorted, "Anyway what's up?"

"Why do you even have to ask?"

"Well what is it?" Natalie rolled her eyes in jest at Sarah who tried to smother her laughter at Henry's outrage.

"Hockey has started up again. My Dad. Can you not put two and two together?"

"Henry, your Dad has always been fanatical about you playing hockey, how are you not used to this by now?"

"I was used to him being the annoying parent who would pick fights with the referee, or the cheerleader, or the coach during peewee or even sponsoring my 5th grade team. But this is different. Even last year wasn't so bad when he spent months bragging to every. Single. Customer. That his son had made the varsity team as a sophomore…."

"He actually did do that." Natalie told Sarah in a quiet voice.

"But this year he's already devised game plays that he wants to brainstorm with Antonio and is looking into any and all scholarships I can get, because I'm a junior and I need to think about these things…" He rambled on.

"Henry. You love hockey. So does your Dad. Let it go." Natalie told him.

"But Nat…" He whined.

"Don't Nat me Lee Henry Herrmann. You complain every single year about your Dad and his hockey devotion and then at the end of every single season you say you miss it. You'll be fine. Now I gotta go, I'm putting on the movie."

"Well, yeah, maybe you're right." He mumbled, "Fine. You two have a fun."

"That boy should give up hockey and become an actor I swear sometimes he's so dramatic!" Natalie laughed when Henry hung up.

While the opening credits were rolling Nat relayed some of the funnier incidents that she had witnessed at Connor and Henry's hockey games as kids, the majority included Herrmann. "What can I say, Henry had to get his dramatic tendencies from somewhere."

Half way through the movie they paused it so Natalie could go to the bathroom, one of the downsides of pregnancy, or so Sarah was told. They spent the next hour chatting and catching up like they were old friends. Sarah telling her what life was like before Chicago and Natalie explaining her relationship with Jeff. Finally, they decided they needed to finish the rest of the movie so Sarah could get home.

She arrived home at exactly ten minutes to six, feeling proud of herself and happy at having made another proper friend. With all that Mr Charles had in mind for her and the return of Gabby, she was not sure how many friends she would have left in her own grade soon enough.

"Hi Mom, is Jason not home yet?" She asked Susan who was seated at the kitchen table, no work files in sight.

"No, I asked James to keep him for a little while longer, I need to have a chat with you." Sarah tried not to freeze and kept going, getting a juice bo out of the refrigerator, had she been caught out going to Natalie's?

Her phone buzzed five times in her pocket and she took a look at the screen while taking a seat with her Mom.

 _I'm so so sorry._

 _Your Mom asked my parents I couldn't stop them_

 _Please forgive me._

 _I swear I didn't tell on you_

 _I'm so sorry._

All messages from Emily. Sarah looked up to her Mom.

"Anything you want to tell me?"

"No." Sarah said quietly.

"Oh really? Because I was out grocery shopping and I bumped into Emily Choi's Mom in the parking lot. Of course I thanked her for letting Emily stay the other night with the bad weather, but the woman knew nothing about it. Emily was home all night." Her Mom stated.

Sarah couldn't meet her eyes.

"So." Her Mom said with her courtroom stern voice, "You lied to me. You said that Emily stayed over here. You know that I didn't want you staying by yourself. It's true, isn't it?"

Sarah knew when to give in, "Yeah, she didn't stay here."

"Anything else?"

"No Mom, I just didn't want to stay with James okay? So I lied about Emily."

"Uh huh." She nodded, "What is going on with you Sarah? I used to be able to trust you, to rely on you. I don't like this new person you've become since we moved here."

"Mom…" Sarah started arguing back.

"No Sarah. You know what if you've nothing else to tell me then I don't think I want to look at you right now." She said, getting up.

"Mom?" Sarah asked hesitantly.

"Because I came home, upset that you had lied to me. And then Jason called and was going on and on about his new room in James' new house and how he wanted to make sure James' clothes and few things he left were still ready if James wanted to stay over here in his bedroom. So wanting to avoid a tantrum when he gets home, I go up to my room and into the closet and get the box of James' things out to have ready for Jason to unpack. I may not like James wheedling his way back in like this but it makes your brother happy so I compromise. And then I find James' hoodie with this big stain in it. It wasn't there before because I washed everything before I stored it away. So I'm going to ask you again Sarah." Her Mom sighed. "What else aren't you telling me?"

* * *

 **Sarah's in soo much trouble! And who else wants to see all the boys playing hockey? Stay tuned for more :)**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

Sarah felt as if her world was about to crash down on her, she couldn't believe she'd forgotten about checking the hoodie twice before putting it back in the closet, she'd made sure to wash it but her mother was a perfectionist and of course she had noticed.

"Sarah? Either you tell me on your own or…" Her mother's phone buzzed. It was work, she tried to ignore it but a face she made told Sarah her boss was calling her and she couldn't ignore it. "We'll talk about this later, in the meantime, there will be no phone for you until you decide to be honest with me."

Sarah froze, grabbing her phone and handing it over. There was no point in arguing.

She couldn't breathe, she couldn't move. "I need to go." Her mother said without even looking over. "I'm going to ask James to keep your brother for the night, you and I are not done talking about this."

Sarah didn't reply but Susan looked at her shoving the phone into her handbag. "I'm going to call the Sexton's and tell them to check on you."

"Mom…"

"It's not up for discussion Sarah."

Sarah nodded, as her mother left without saying another word.

She needed to take a moment to compose herself, tears were already on her eyes. Her mind drifting to Connor. If she admitted to Susan her boyfriend had spent the night, she'd be grounded until college and she was sure her mother would eventually talk to Elizabeth as well, so Connor would be in so much trouble too.

Moving upstairs to her room, she slammed the door and crashed on the bed, crying. Over her stupidity, over her mother and over Connor.

She played with the bracelet in her wrist, staying there for a moment until she decided to act, she needed to make a plan for how to tell her mother the truth.

But first she needed to call Connor so she dashed over to her closet and prayed to still have her old phone.

Her most recent one had been in repairs for the longest time and she needed to have a way to check on Jason.

Thank goodness for her over prepared personality.

Sne dialed, praying he'd answer even if it was an unknown number. "Hello?"

"Connor?"

"Sarah?" He asked as soon as she answered. "Hey, I've been trying to get a hold of you…"

"I'm sorry…" she said before he could reply.

Why are you sorry? What's wrong?"

"Emily, my Mom…." Sarah was crying now. "I totally understand if you want us to break up." She burtled out.

"What? Sarah you are not making any sense..." Her heart skipped a beat when she heard the front door open. "I need to go, please don't hate me."

She felt a headache coming as her Mom walked across the hall and came in her room without knocking.

"You have a few missed calls from Connor." Susan said as she looked into her child's phone screen. "I must admit, I really liked him early on, but now I know he's the one to blame for you acting like this, isn't he?"

Sarah's blood boiled all of the sudden. "He didn't do anything."

"Really?" Susan inquired. "Because that's not the way I see it, he has you lying to me."

"I made that decision, Connor didn't make me."

"But he made you do other things? Has he forced you to do anything you didn't want to?"

"No! He'd never…"

"Don't tell me he'd never do such things Sarah, he's a sixteen year old boy…"

"You don't know him…."

"I don't? I was young too sweetheart, I thought I was in love and then I got carried away."

Sarah knew she was talking about her father and how they had gotten married at 18.

"We didn't do anything…" She retorted back. "He was upset so he came over and I didn't want him to go back into the snowstorm, that's it."

Susan's eyes fuzed into Sarah's gaze. " _He stayed, here_?"

"Downstairs on the couch." Sarah lied. "But yeah, he did, I promise you Mom..on Jason that we didn't do anything…."

Susan sighed, sitting beside her child. _Sarah thought they'd be more yelling. More fighting, more of her having to run off like the typical teenager._

But she wasn't the typical teenage girl, she had more important things to figure out than boys.

"James might ask for custody of Jason." Her mother admitted. "He could take him Sarah and I don't need him having another excuse to say I am an unfit mother, to either of you."

Sarah's heart dropped. "He can't do that!"

"He can Sarah, he's Jason's father…"

"We won't let him, will we?" Sarah felt her eyes water again. "We can't…"

This was even bigger than her lie, even bigger than her.

"I'm not going to let that happen, but I need your help."

Sarah nodded.

" Also, I just don't want you to get your heart broken Sarah. And I don't want you to get ahead of yourself either. You have a future to think about." Susan added in.

Sarah bit her lip. "I know." She sighed. "But I was so worried about him Mom, you didn't see him, he'd been dealing with so much with his parents…"

"His Mom?" Susan asked, her tone softening."How is she doing?"

"She's okay for now." Sarah admitted sadly. "But her health is, well she doesn't have a lot of time left."

"I can't even imagine…"

"See? I was just trying to do the right thing."

"Who's the lawyer now, huh?" Her mother shot back. I owe you an apology too then, For everything, with James and the move and Jason and me working long hours, I know it's never easy."

"It's okay." Sarah assured her. "I know you want what's best for us."

"I do, I love you and your brother more than anything." Her Mother said and silence settled in between them.

"So I'm guessing I'm grounded…."

"Until your birthday you are, but I will need to give you your phone back, although no more Molly's. You come right back home after school, is that clear?" Her mother said sternly handing her back the phone as she nodded watching the phone close behind her.

Sarah had a feeling this was going to be the longest week of her life.

* * *

"Connor?" Susan Reese opened the door past 9 pm to find her daughter's boyfriend standing there, rose cheeks and all.

"Mrs. Reese, I'm sorry I came over but I was wondering if I could talk to Sarah for a minute?"

She eyed the boy carefully.

"It's late Connor…"

"Right, I'm sorry but I just…"

"Connor?" Came's Sarah's voice, Connor's eyes lighted up at the sight. "What are you doing here, is your Mom okay?"

"She is." He said quickly as Sarah joined her mother by the door. It was cold so Susan allowed the boy to come inside. "I'm sorry I came over, but…" He was running his fingers through his hair.

"Sarah's grounded Connor and I'm sure your family won't approve of you being out in this weather at this hour."

"Mom.."

"No, I'm sorry, you need to go."

"Please Mrs. Reese, I care about Sarah alright? A lot, she's really been the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Sarah's heart fluttered at his words, but her mother wasn't as smitten.

"I understand but she can't show up at your disposition, that's not how real life works." Sarah could see the pain in his eyes. "I suppose you know why she's grounded for."

Connor nodded. "That...I'm so sorry, Sarah was just trying to help me. I promise I'd never disrespect her or you in any way."

Susan glanced over at him. "I understand that you care for her Connor, believe me, I really do, but you will see her Monday at school."

"Right, okay." He said defeated and Sarah glared at her Mom and pulled her to the side.

"Mom… please. Five minutes okay? He came all the way out here…." Susan looked down at her child. She hadn't seen that much despair in her eyes since she'd told her they would be moving to Chicago.

"Fine." Sarah smiled at her Mom. "Five Minutes."

She nodded and then turned to Connor, she took his hand in hers and led him to the living room as her mother walked to the kitchen. "Are you okay? After that call I thought. I don't know, that maybe I had done something." He admitted shyly.

"No, what could you possibly have done?" She inquired with a half smile. "I was just overwhelmed about the fact that she found out and I couldn't even process what was going to happen to me and then you. Oh God, I'm sure she's going to tell your Mom." Sarah was the one panicking now. "She's a lawyer, that's just how she works…"

Connor gave her a shy smile. "I can handle it Sarah, it will be okay. It was you I was worried about. You were so upset and it was because of me. I mean I was the one who just showed up…"

"Stop. You didn't do anything wrong. I lied to her, remember? It's me she's mad at."

"I have a feeling she's not my biggest fan either."

"She doesn't need to be." Sarah added quickly.

"She does if I want to be with you." He put in. There was a momentary silence between the two of them. "God Sarah, when you said that we should break up, I just had to see you."

"Right, that, I was not thinking straight…" She said shyly.

"Sarah, Connor really needs to go home." Her mother called from the kitchen. Connor glanced over and so did she. "I'll see you Monday? We can talk, I mean, really talk? Without the parental patrol here." Sarah said low enough just for him to hear.

"Yeah…" He smiled shyly. "I'm really sorry though, for over reacting and for the other night."

"Hey, over reacting is my job, yours is to calm me down, not the other way around."

"Well you do a pretty nice job too."

Sarah smiled. "It takes two to tango or how does it work?" This made him curve his lips a little. "I'll see you okay?"

He nodded, leaning to kiss her cheek, moving his lips slightly to touch the corner of her mouth without her mother noticing. Sarah bit her lip and hugged him. He placed his chin over her head for a minute, opening the the front after Susan had come out to make sure they didn't duddle. Sarah watched him from the door as he got in the car.

"Wait for a little while and then text him to make sure he got home okay." Her Mom said as Sarah joined her in the kitchen.

"Thanks Mom." Sarah offered.

She would take any little victories she was given.

* * *

"Well? How did it go?" Henry asked after Connor pulled up in his driveway. Henry, it seemed would take any excuse to drive anywhere. It was Sunday and they were just gotten back from a test drive. The two of them stood just outside Connor's gate door.

Connor heaved a sigh of relief. "She's not actually breaking up with me, her Mom…" He stopped, he still hadn't told anyone where he had stayed that other night. But it was all gone to hell now, his Mom was probably about to find out. "The other night, after _everything_ , I eh, I stayed at Sarah's house and her Mom found out somehow and she's in big trouble, and I'm not exactly her favorite person right now."

"You _stayed_ at Sarah's?" Henry's eyebrows shot up.

" _No_ , not like that you idiot, nothing happened, I just stayed over."

"Huh. I thought you were too calm the next day to have slept in your car." His best friend mused. "But why didn't you just tell me where you were?"

Connor shrugged, "Sarah was scared of getting in trouble. It's too late now I guess."

Henry leaned back against the hood of his car, "Well at least it wasn't as big of an emergency as you thought right?"

Connor smiled sheepishly, the only time he ever sent Natalie and Henry their secret 911 text happened to be because of his Mom's sickness or his father's temper. He had tagged Sarah's name onto it and asked them in capital letters if he had done anything that would want to make her break up with him. What could he say? He wasn't good at relationships, despite his reputation, he never dated that much. And dating Sarah was by far the most serious thing he had ever gotten himself into. He was terrified of losing her.

"I better get back, my Dad wants me to cover the last shift today and close up. Glad it's not too bad man." Henry clapped Connor on the shoulder happily and got into his car, driving away. The car was still pristine inside, Connor laughed because Henry minded it better than he would a newborn played with the keys in his hand as he let himself inside, knowing that he should tell his Mom before Susan got to it.

He bumped into Katie on his way to the stairs. "Connor?"

"Yeah?"

"Everything okay? You left in an awful hurry yesterday night, I hope nothing happened to Sarah's little brother.." Katie commented as she passed him in the hallway with a laundry hamper in her hand.

"Eh… no...Everything's okay, kind of, it was a misunderstanding." Connor said.

"Well." Katie sighed, patting his cheek, "They were bound to find out eventually, I hope Sarah's not in too much trouble." She carried on walking.

"What? How do you know?" He stood gaping.

She turned back to him and gave him a wink, "I know everything my dear boy."

Connor could only laugh to himself, "Is Mom up?"

"Yeah she just had her nap. Claire and her went shopping earlier so she should be in good spirits."

With that positive note, Connor knocked and let himself into his Mom's room.

"Hi Connor, everything okay?" His Mom asked from where she was sitting in her armchair reading some fashion magazine.

He felt like he was six years old again and Claire had found out he broke one of the Rhodes' vases and threatened to tell on him, leaving him to give himself up first.

"Eh." He scratched the back of his neck. "I have something to tell you."

"It doesn't seem good if you're using that tone." His Mom said as she watched him take a seat across from her.

"I…I thought you should hear it from me first…" He winced.

"Connor, are you in trouble again?" She asked with infinite patience.

"No, well kind of, depends who you ask." He realized he wasn't doing himself any favours. "The other night when I didn't come home, I stayed at Sarah's, her Mom and Jason weren't home. It was just us. Alone." He decided the best thing to do was to rip off the band aid.

He waited for his Mom to react.

She put down her magazine, "I see."

"And…well Sarah's Mm found out and she'll probably come and see you…" He just thanked his lucky stars his Dad was away on business indefinitely. But Connor knew now why he didn't want to put an end date on his illicit business trips.

His Mom looked at him with a loaded glance. "Did anything _happen_ that night?"

Connor blushed violently, _why did everyone assume that? He knew neither of them were even close to being ready for something like that. And having a pregnant best friend kind of put a warning label on everything until they were older_. Besides, he didn't know how anything could top kissing Sarah for him at the moment.

"No, nothing happened…" He mumbled, "And it won't."

His Mom fought against a smile but remained firm "I'd like to believe you Honey, but you are a teenager."

"Don't remind me…" Connor sighed.

"Connor…" Her mother said in a firmly." But when and if it happens, just make sure everyone is ready for it okay? And always be safe."

Connor huffed, he expected to get in trouble, not have _this_ conversation. "Yeah, okay."

"You promise me?"

"I promise."

"Okay then."

"So I'm not in trouble?" He wondered aloud.

"Oh no, you're grounded for a week. At least and I'll have to see what Mrs Reese has to say on the matter."

He figured it was the best he was going to get.

"Right, thanks for listening Mom."

"And Connor." She caught him lightly by the wrist as he stood up, "I don't care what it is, you know you can still come and talk to me about anything, just because you're sixteen now doesn't mean we can't talk." She smiled.

"I know. I love you Mom." He bent down to let her kiss his cheek.

And then he waited for the inevitable.

* * *

The doorbell rang an hour later and Connor beat Katie to the door, he had to keep trying to make a good impression so Susan wouldn't think too little of him.

"Hi Mrs Reese." He tried to smile as he opened the door.

Susan's expression softened, "I think you can still call me Susan, Connor. Is your Mom feeling up for visitors?"

Unfortunately she was.

"Yeah, come on up, I'll show you the way." He held the door open for her to come in. "You have to know that I am really sorry about it all. I should have never put Sarah in that position or betray everyone's trust and I promise I wouldn't ever take advantage of her or anything like that and…"

She cut him off, "I'm not happy about my daughter having a boyfriend with everything she has got going on, and to tell you the truth, I'm not happy about having a soft spot for you either but it's the lying I can't tolerate Connor."

He nodded, he knew when to give in. "My Mom is just through there." He pointed to the living room where Elizabeth was browsing the TV and dozing.

He knocked, "Mom? Mrs Reese, Sarah's Mom is here to see you."

"Well don't leave her standing in the hallway," His Mom huffed with a smile. "Mrs Reese, it's good to finally meet you."

"Please call me Susan."

"And you can call me Elizabeth."

She beamed at the other woman as she walked in, but was too tired to stand up. "That's all Connor, you're excused." She told him firmly and he nodded shyly and closed the door behind him.

He was just glad it was in his house, he knew you could hear what was happening in the living room through the bookshelves in the study that were just there to cover up the empty doorway.

It wasn't his first time in trouble.

* * *

Will still hadn't got the grease from his car off his shirt but he knew Hermann wouldn't mind them turning up to Molly's like that and he hadn't had time to change because their Dad had been out the previous night and they didn't need to be at home when he woke up, still he had told Jay he was bringing him to Molly's to celebrate his new position on the hockey team but he knew his brother didn't buy his excuse, although he didn't point it out either, sometimes it was better just to pretend a lie was the truth.

They walked into Molly's and Will cursed under his breath. He had forgotten, Sunday's were Nat's days on shift at the diner.

He never usually forgot that, at one point he had her whole roster learned off by heart.

"Sit here?" Jay asked, leading him to a table.

"Sure. And order whatever, it's on me."

Jay shot him an evil grin, "That's a dangerous statement bro, I might just feel hungry and order everything."

Will just rolled his eyes.

"Hey guys." Nat smiled, that smile that had always brightened up his darkest days. "How's your Sunday going?"

"Good, you?" He replied.

She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, "Not too bad." She nodded. "oh Jay, congrats on making the team huh?"

That put a big smile on Jay's face. "Thanks Natalie."

She held her strained smile as Will made no more attempts at conversation. Things were awkward as such, it was just that he had had to put distance between them. They were friends but he couldn't be as close anymore. "So, eh, what can I get you two?"

They made their orders and she jotted them down, "I'll be right back with your drinks."

"So that's going well huh?" Jay nearly snorted at their behavior.

"She's pregnant with Jeff's baby. And I have Nina. I'm just not her go to person anymore." Will shrugged.

"So you asked Nina out properly then?"

"Not yet."

"Well are you going to? She seems pretty keen." Jay said.

Will gave a one shoulder shrug. Okay, so maybe he wasn't doing that good at moving on, he admitted, watching Nat bustle around the diner.

Henry passed by them with a tray, "Oh hey guys. Hey Jay, welcome to the team! Didn't get to see you on Friday but I heard you play good man." Henry said.

"Thanks Henry. Yeah just glad I made it."

"Yeah there was some good competition this year." Henry winced, "Ah, Dad's out of the kitchen again, I swear he has a radar for anything hockey related." He rolled his eyes in jest.

Will grinned, for the last two years, it was safe to say Herrmann was a very _enthusiastic_ parent. But still, he couldn't ignore the fact that Jay's smile faltered. His little brother still liked to believe their Dad could just change his ways some day and become some sort of super parent. Will knew how much Jay would kill for half the attention that Henry got from his old man.

"Hey kids, how's it going? Jay, my man, newest member hey?" Herrmann clapped a hand on his shoulder. "How did you find tryouts? I was doing some research on the team tapes from last year and I really think that you're style of play could really bring something new to the team, if you ever want to go over some plays I have a lot of…"

"Okay, Dad, how about we let them enjoy their food. You'll see them at practices anyway." Henry cut his Dad off, not that practice were open to the public, but Herrmann seemingly always wheedled his way in.

"Here you go guys." Nat cut off the impending argument when she brought down their food. "Enjoy. If you need me, I'll be around." She said and Will had known her long enough to know that she wasn't just talking about the diner.

But he had spent years pining over her. And now she was so past completely unavailable.

He needed to ask Nina out.

* * *

Elizabeth Rhodes had always been good at reading people. Connor had a spidey sense and she did too.

The moment she met Susan Reese, she'd found out enough about the woman, she was young, dedicated and loved her children.

That much she knew.

"I'm sorry to show up like this." Susan began.

"You don't have to apologize, would you like something to drink?"

"Water would be fine, thank you." The other woman replied, Elizabeth called for Katie who soon was by the door.

The older woman shot Mrs. Reese a glance. As if she was studying her, in the few moments since laying eyes on her Katie could see how much Sarah took after her mother. "Sarah has your eyes Mrs. Reese." Katie commented kindly as soon as she returned with the glass of water. "We love that girl bunches in this house. She's made our Connor so happy."

Susan smiled and Elizabeth shot Katie a glance. She soon took her leave with another smile.

"Katie's been with us since before Connor was born." Elizabeth said. "And she isn't lying, Sarah has really brought happiness into this house. She certainly makes my boy happy."

"I don't doubt it." Susan put in, sitting on the chair, facing Elizabeth. "I could say the same about Sarah, even Jason has taken a liking to your son, and that's not easy to accomplish." Elizabeth remained quiet. "But you know that's not why I'm here."

"Yes, I know, Connor told me about the night of the snowstorm." Elizabeth said and Susan laughed, knowingly.

"I figured he would. I wish Sarah would be as open with me as I can imagine your children are, but the truth is my daughter had never lied to me before. "

Elizabeth nodded. "And you think Connor made her." It wasn't a question.

Connor held his breath from behind the bookshelf.

"She swears he didn't and I want to believe her, but she is an almost 15 year old girl and Connor is her first serious boyfriend." Susan put in and then added. "She did tell me he was dealing with a lot when he came to her, so that I understand but it still doesn't make the lying okay."

Elizabeth sighed. "Yes, my sickness is a great burden I wish my kids didn't have to carry, but Connor, he has this need to care for the people he loves which I'm sure now means Sarah too, I know he didn't mean to give you the wrong impression."

Susan didn't reply right away.

"He's certainly an special boy, Jason seems to think so too and no one had ever made a first connection with him like Connor did, and then he started to show interest in Sarah and she was completely smitten by your son." She said. "I am sure Connor didn't mean to put Sarah in that position when he came to find her, and yet I had to find out from other people that they've both had lied, I am a lawyer, so I suppose people assume I am good at dealing with lies, but the truth is that I am not."

"People assume I am the perfect wife." Elizabeth said, "But I am far from being perfect, all I want to do is be a good mother to my children."

"I understand." They both looked at each other. Susan could see the other woman was struggling, but she kept her ground as they came to a silent agreement.

One they would discuss further some other time. "I should let you rest."

"Thank you for coming over, I certainly hope we'll see more of each other soon?"

"Of course, I don't think it will be easy to keep our children apart."

"No, I don't either, but I assure you Connor is very aware of the consequences of his actions."

"I certainly hope so."

Susan nodded again and it seemed both women had reached another agreement.

Connor let out a sigh of relief when he heard the door close behind Susan.

"So…" A voice made him jump, Katie. "Are you going to tell me what really happened?"

He sighed. "It's kind of embarrassing…"

"What is?" She inquired.

"Remember those cookies you used to make for me when I got upset?"

She nodded. "She's your someone special, isn't she?"

"I think so, yeah." He admitted.

* * *

 **Sooo... Sarah and Connor are reeling from their lie. What else is in store for Rheese? Stay tuned!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 26.**

Sarah was walking from dropping Jason off at his building when she found Connor waiting for her. "Hey."

"Hi." She smiled. "So, I finally got my phone back…" It'd been on lockdown Sunday so Connor had tried texting her on her backup number, but she couldn't have it out much or her mother would find out. He'd told her about overhearing their Mother's conversation and Sarah was certainly relieved the situation hadn't escalated further but she knew she'd have to win her Mother's trust back.

"Good." He mused. "Come on, I want to take you somewhere." She raised an eyebrow.

"Connor, we can't get in any more trouble."

"We won't." He promised. Sarah fought against herself and took his hand as he led her to an empty music room halfway between buildings.

 _The Arts Department._

"What are we doing here?" She asked, glancing at the instruments around the room.

There was a Piano that stood tall in the back of the room.

Sarah had heard him play a couple times at his house. Connor smiled and walked slowly over to the bench. "Come here."

She did as she was told, sitting beside him. He turned around to eye her carefully. His blue eyes piercing hers. "Sarah, with everything that happened this weekend…"

"Yeah?"

"You know I'd never force you to do anything you didn't want to, don't you?"

"Of course I know." She said, leaning to kiss him, Connor grabbed her face and pulled her closer. All the feelings that had bottled up during the weekend had been pouring into that one kiss.

"We need to go." She said between kisses as they refused to break apart. He sighed, his forehead on hers.

 _This week was going to go by so slow_.

* * *

She felt like she was back in Michigan all over again. The whole week consisted of school, then homework, then caring for Jason, then bedtime.

As if Emily wasn't already spending all her time with Gabby, Sarah couldn't even go to Molly's any of the evenings after school to try and keep her place among their friends.

If anyone was more antisocial than her all week, it was Jay, he had his first match as a fully fledged player of the hockey team that Friday and he was freaking out, although as Connor and Henry told her, it wasn't part of the league, just a friendly against Olinsky Memorial High School, but Sarah could tell it meant a lot to Jay.

"Does Jay seem nervous to you this week?" Sarah asked Monique as they ate lunch at the cafeteria.

"Hockey and Erin." Monique nodded. Ah, that was right, Jay's long term crush went to school at Olinsky Memorial. "Apparently Will got hold of Jay's phone and texted Erin to see if she was going to the game and she said yes. Jay wouldn't talk to Will yesterday at Molly's."

"Wow really?"

"I wish you could go to the game, it'll be fun. The first game always is, a huge crowd always turns up to see what the team is like for the year." Monique explained.

"I hate being grounded." Sarah admitted with a sigh.

"How are you finding the junior classes so far?" Monique asked, trying to shift the conversation.

"Good." Sarah nodded. The only good thing about the week. They were a new challenge and she loved learning at the higher pace. And she got to see Connor more which was an added plus.

"It's so weird seeing Gabby in your seat in class." Monique smiled.

Sarah cringed to herself, that's what she was afraid of. Being replaced and forgotten.

"Hey guys." Jay greeted as he sat down with his lunch. "what are you talking about?"

"Just the hockey game and the fact that Sarah isn't in most of our classes anymore."

"Yeah talk about aiming high, that's a lot of junior classes you're taking, I wish I was that smart." Jay smiled.

"You're smart." Sarah retorted, and it was true, he was far from being at the bottom of the class.

"Yeah but you're a whole other level." Jay told her, "Hey, you can't make it to the game tomorrow night huh?"

"I wish I could, but I'd have to talk my Mom around and I don't know how that'd go."

"I wish you could too. When the entire crowd inevitable screams for me to leave the ice, I would like more than just Em and Gabby and Monique backing me up."

"Jay," Monique slapped his arm gently, "Don't be so hard on yourself, the crowd won't hate you. You made the team!"

"Well it's a pretty real dream I've been having all week." As her friends went on talking Sarah decided one thing.

She needed to go to that game on Friday.

* * *

Friday evening rolled around and Sarah's get to the game plan wasn't going too well. Her Mom had warmed back up to her but she didn't want to push her luck yet. She'd tackle it after school.

James was collecting them that evening so she had texted him earlier and said she had a fifteen minute meeting with a teacher after school about her new classes.

Somehow she had gotten good at lying.

And it had been a long week. She had wanted fifteen minutes with Connor without any interruptions.

"Hey, everything okay?" He asked as she pulled him down the hallway and into an empty classroom.

She nodded, "Yep, I just missed you this week." She told him. Sure she was in more classes with him but they'd barely seen each other, because she had spent time at lunch with her sophomore friends to make up for not seeing them in class and with no chance of seeing him after school, the week had dragged on.

She had also seen Ava sitting at his table at lunch that day and it hadn't helped her insecurities.

Connor relaxed, "I missed you too." He said as he pulled her close.

Somehow they ended up making out.

The alarm went off on her phone to let her know she needed to leave now.

She stifled a laugh when they pulled apart. Connor's hair was a mess and his hands were holding her close at the small of her back under her shirt. She was pretty sure her lips were swollen.

"I better get going." She whispered even though they were alone.

He placed a kiss to her temple. "I'm taking you out as soon as we're not grounded anymore." He promised.

"I'm holding you to that." She slipped into the nearest bathroom with a gigantic smile on her face and went about trying to tame her hair and splash water on her face.

"Oh look who it is." Ava rolled her eyes as she came out of a stall. "Seriously as if it isn't bad enough seeing you in class all the time, why can't you just go back to where you came from?" She taunted.

Sarah refused to get baited into an argument. She needed to make it to James's car.

"Hold on." Ava nearly shouted, grabbing Sarah's wrist. " _What the hell is that?"_

"It's a bracelet." Sarah stated, pulling her hand away. She was sure Ava had seen it before, but the girl was clearly jealous.

Ava scoffed, "It's _Connor's_ bracelet, what are you so desperate you made a cheap knock off? I know he doesn't give it away. That bracelet is going to me mine someday, Connor is so above you little girl."

Sarah's phone rang. James. Right on time.

"Sarah? Are you on your way?"

"Yeah, I'm on my way." Sarah said, not giving Ava a second glance.

* * *

Sarah's message interrupted his extremely good make out session with Nina at the back of the gym that evening. Will was finding that the more he kissed his blonde girlfriend, the less he thought of the other brunette girl.

 _Hi Will, I know it's last minute, but will you be able to give me a ride to the hockey game tonight? I want to go and support Jay. Thanks, Sarah._

"Who is it?" Will might not have known his current girlfriend all that well but he thought she sounded defensive.

"Sarah Reese, she wants a ride to the game tonight."

"Oh Sarah! She is so sweet. She sits beside me in Biology now." Nina instantly brightened up. "Sorry I can't make early enough to see the beginning of the game with my Dad's birthday, but you should totally give her a ride."

 _Hey Sarah, sure thing. I've to be there early though, that ok?_

 _Yeah perfect thanks Will. Oh and if my Mom asks, you're bringing me for a study group meeting._

Will laughed to himself, well, well, well, little Sarah Reese was using him as an alibi. She was turning into quite the rebel.

He picked her up, her Mom and Jason waiting with her on the sidewalk. "Hi Mrs Reese. I'm Will Halstead, nice to meet you."

"Hi Will." Jason piped up. "Will's nice Mom." He said, "Where's Jay?"

It wasn't his first rodeo, he knew about sneaking out. "Ah he's not feeling well tonight Buddy, but I think he's just trying to get out of studying." Will joked to Sarah and her Mom.

"Well I think it's great you all are studying tonight, have a nice time, come on Jason, I'm waiting on a call." Sarah slipped into his car as Jason waved goodbye and the Reeses' disappeared.

"That was easy? I was expecting questioning." Will commented as he pulled onto the road. "I thought you were grounded."

"I am." Sarah sighed, "But well my Mom isn't Connor's biggest fan at the moment and won't trust Emily anymore. She's really busy with work tonight, she's doing it at home so my stepdad can't say she's at the office the entire time. And well I just threw a lot of names at her. Jay, Monique, Gabby, you and Nina and said that they heard about the tutoring I did with Henry. I couldn't mention Connor or Nat and then I went on a big explanation of the hockey league and how the game wasn't on tonight and…"

The girl hadn't taken a breath.

"Cool I get it, I have to say Reese, didn't think you had it in you." He grinned.

"Me neither." She smiled. "Oh, your car is running well isn't it?"

Will laughed, "Yeah Jay just likes to moan about it. So I have to jump start it anytime I want to turn it on and the radio doesn't work and the heating won't turn off, but it runs fine!"

He had to give it to the shy sophomore, she didn't even blink when he put on his pre game playlist of rock music for the rest of the drive.

"Catch you after the game Reese? You need a ride home from _studying_ right?" He asked as they walked to the rink.

"Would you mind?" She asked.

"Yeah, sure, I should be out about half an hour after the game?" He said as he slung his gym bag across his head as they walked. He could see her doing the math in her head. "Too late?"

"I don't know…my Mom…"

"Let me see what I can do." He promised her as they parted ways, he headed for the locker rooms and Sarah approached the bleachers apprehensively.

She had never been to a game of anything before and had never been into sports, gym was her version of a nightmare.

"Hey Sarah, didn't expect you to be a hockey fan?" Maggie said as she was setting up a table just outside to raffle tickets to raise money for the team's new equipment.

"Oh I'm not. At all. I'm just here to support Jay Halstead, it's his first game." She said.

"Oh yeah, I heard it from Antonio, the guy has not spoken about anything but hockey the _entire_ week. Even Coach Voight was getting annoyed with him." Maggie laughed, "Anyway, enjoy the game."

"Thanks." Sarah said and made her way through the doors to the empty stands. She meandered her way over to the halfway line and sat in the middle row, not knowing which would be considered a good seat and hoping for the best.

"Sarah?" She looked up to find Connor coming her way not long after. "What are you doing here? I thought..."

She grinned, "I eh…well Mom thinks I've created this study group...I wanted to surprise you."

"Ah, It's a nice surprise for sure." He beamed.

"Yep, so, I've made up my study group with people she likes."

"Not me or Emily then." He took a seat beside her.

"No I'm afraid not. Will gave me a ride." She told him as he took her hand.

"Well for once I like Halstead, I'm glad to see you."

"What are you doing here so early?" She asked after he had kissed her softly in greeting.

"Henry needed to be here and decided he couldn't go with his family so we came over together. The entire Herrmann clan will be on the way with banners and everything just before the game, they're a sight to be seen."

More people trickled in as time went on and Sarah and Connor caught up with each other. His father was home, Sarah had learned but Henry had convinced Elizabeth to let Connor be at the game.

"Hey, you made it! Monique cheered, taking a seat beside Sarah, giving her a side hug, "And good seats too."

"I have taught you well apparently, aren't you grounded?" Emily grinned like a Chesire cat as her and Gabby sat down beside Monique.

"Oh my gosh, there's Erin!" Gabby whispered fiercely to the group, nodding over to a girl with short dark blonde hair taking her seat a few rows below. "Think Jay will finally make his move tonight?"

"Ugh I hope so." Emily exclaimed. "What about you, you aren't watching this game to look at your brother." She elbowed Gabby playfully.

"Shut up." Gabby mumbled turning red. "Doesn't matter, Matt is still on and off with Hallie isn't he?"

"Gabby has a crush on one of the seniors, Matt Casey? He's friends with Antonio." Monique whispered to Sarah and Sarah loved the other girl for it, letting her in on the inside jokes.

"Hi, Sarah?" Nina Shore appeared at Sarah's shoulder.

"Oh hi Nina, how are you?"

"I'm good thanks." Nina smiled, "Will texted me and mentioned you need a ride home after the game?"

"Oh, yes, I do actually."

"Well I'm driving in that direction if you want a ride?"

"Really? Oh you don't have to."

"I don't mind at all, you're my new Biology partner, comes with the territory." She smiled brightly. "He also mentioned something about a study group alibi?"

"Yeah, I'm not really supposed to be here…" Sarah admitted, "But Jay and Will and Henry are playing and…"

"I think you're a good friend. And hey I'd totally be up for studying in Biology together sometime." Nina said, the crowd was really coming in now when Nina looked up. "I better go get a seat. I'll meet you outside after."

"I never thought she'd be that nice" Connor commented, "She got out from Ava's shadow apparently."

"Why is she wearing Will's jersey number?" Nat asked from where she had arrived into the seat next to Connor.

"Oh, why is she?" Sarah echoed, glancing back at where Nina had sat down.

"It's a thing, you know girlfriends wearing their boyfriends number. Kind of a big deal actually." Connor explained to Sarah. "Why does it matter to you?" He asked Nat with his eyebrows raised.

"It doesn't." She shot back defensively. "I just didn't know they were official…"

"Well it looks like they are." Connor commented. "But hey you have Jeff's number." He tried to sound supportive but failed.

"Yeah…" Nat mumbled.

The Herrmann family arrived in all their supportive glory just before the game started as Connor predicted.

* * *

Sarah, surprising herself, got really into the game. She thought she would be self conscious but as soon as Jay got to the puck she jumped to her feet alongside her friends, cheering him on. She shouted and groaned when things went against their team and screamed in delight when it went their way.

"How have I not gone to one of these before?" She asked Connor in delight at the break.

"I don't know but remind me to bring you to a major league game. With triple the crowd and bigger spectacle, you'll love it." He smiled, "Plus I think you're giving Chris a run for his money, be careful or he'll recruit you for his personal cheering squad."

Sarah smiled. She hoped Connor would take her out skating on their coming date.

"What was your number?"

Connor gave her a small smile. "Twenty two."

The game started back again and Sarah cuddled into Connor, keeping the same energy for the remaining of it.

She would watch Natalie from the corner of her eye, she'd watch Jeff and then Will.

Sarah felt sorry for her, she couldn't even begin to process what she'd do in her place.

It wasn't like she and Connor were ready to, take it to the next level, he'd always been so respectful toward her, and she appreciate it but she'd been lying if she didn't admit to wonder.

It wasn't like she didn't loved to kiss him, to talk to him, to listen to music and sing along. She didn't think she needed more than that at the moment but she found herself glancing at her boyfriend who was clearly focused on the game and think about it.

She smiled when he turned to her and pulled her closer with his arm. Sarah felt herself being drawn to him, and her head fell on his shoulder. "You okay?" He asked.

"Yep." She raised her face to kiss his cheek.

Game was over, Visitors had taken the victory, but Jay had scored a goal and he was so glad, plus seeing his dad at the bleechers had given him even more confidence.

"I'll see you guys." Nat said as they waited a little while for the place to empty.

"You sure I can't drive you?" Connor asked worriedly.

"No, it's been a long week for you, you kids have fun." She was a little off. Sarah figured it was because of her situation with Jeff.

Or maybe it was Will.

"Come on, I don't see Nina anywhere." Connor offered his hand to Sarah. She raised an eyebrow at him.

The place had practically cleared out. Emily and Monique and Gaby had gone ahead to wait for Jay by the lockers. They had a thing for hockey players it seemed.

He led her over to the back and headed in search of skates, he put them on swiftly, Sarah declined, placing a kiss on his cheek as he entered the rink. She watched him closely. He seemed so relaxed and happy.

Sarah hadn't noticed she was smiling as she stared until Connor pointed it out.

"What?" He asked amused.

"Nothing."

"Sarah.."

"You look happy, I just, It has been a while since that's happened." She told him.

He skated over to her, holding on to the barrier and leaning to kiss her. Sarah smiled into the kiss, brushing his cheek softly.

"You know you are mostly the reason for that right?"

"For What?"

"Smiling, you make me happy."

Sarah grinned. "You make me happy too." He kissed her again, lifting her chin to force her to look at him. "Sarah, I…"

"There you are." A voice said behind them. Nina.

"We better get you home." The older girl piped up.

Connor sighed. "I need to go." He heard Sarah say.

"Okay…" He smiled. "I'll walk you out."

"No, stay." She assured him. "I'll text you as soon as I get home?" He hesitated for a minute, eying Nina. "I just, I think you should stay. It's going to take you time to change out of the skates anyway and I really need to get home."

His face fell. "Right."

"Hey, we're free next week. We'll make up for it, plus it's my birthday." She said sheepishly.

"That it is," He beamed, kissing her cheek as Nina stood there but Sarah gave him a quick peck on the lips. Connor's hand lingered on her cheek as they broke apart.

Sarah began walking with the other girl. "Don't worry, I'll take care of her." Nina assured Connor as they waved.

The two girls walked in silence for a little while. "So, how did you like the game?" Nina asked.

"I think I might become a fan." Sarah replied. The blonde smiled.

"It's funny really, I'd never been the sports girlfriend, but with Will, I mean he's the sweetest."

Sarah's heart squeezed a little in her chest. She knew, in the short time she'd known both Nat and Will that those two had something special.

Maybe like her and Connor she'd like to think.

But she did feel bad for Nina in someway.

"Yeah, uh, me neither." Sarah admitted. "Did you, did you see Connor play?"

"Oh yeah, he was one of the best on the team, he and Henry were like this double menace, Antonio liked to call them. Has he told you what happened?"

"Only that he got hurt playing." Nina smiled at her as they reached the car. "I didn't really asked much."

"Well, I'm sure he'll tell you when he's ready."

They drove over to Sarah's chatting of everything and anything. "Thank you for bringing me."

"Of course, and don't worry, your secret is safe with me." Sarah beamed. "Also, I wanted to say, I'm sorry about the way I acted when we met, I'm just not like that, like Ava, I guess I wanted to fit in somehow."

"I get it, really."

"Right, okay well miss Sarah, I'll see you at school."

Sarah smiled again and walked back in, her Mom was in her room when she climbed up the stairs. "How was study group?"

"It was good." Sarah said easily.

Her mother gave a soft smile. "I'm glad you are working hard on school again."

Sarah felt the urge to roll her eyes, the typical teenage response, she'd focused on school her whole life. School and Jason. "Good night Sarah."

"Good night Mom."

She texted Connor as soon as her door was closed and as she got ready for bed, she couldn't stop thinking about what Connor was going to say before Nina had shown up.

And with that in mind, she fell asleep, looking forward to being 15 in the next few days.

* * *

 **We're getting closer to Sarah's birthday! Keep the comments going guys, they make us happy :)**


	27. Chapter 27

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 27.**

Her birthday fell on a Saturday and she was thankful her mother had made it a family day early, even though she had to deal with James insisting to tag along.

Connor had come to talk to her Mom the Sunday before so he could ask for permission to take her out later that day.

Susan had agreed reluctantly, but it was a good thing Juliet had come to Chicago for her birthday, her grandma was quite smitten with Connor and genuinely liked him.

Her mother cooked her her favorite and they brought out a cake. "I still can't believe you are 15 sweetheart, it seemed like yesterday when you were born." Her grandma put in sweetly.

Sarah blushed. "This is for you." James said handing her a box. It was a book, one she had been eying to buy for a while. "Happy birthday Braniac."

"Thanks." She grinned.

Jason handed her a small box he'd probably wrapped himself. He had made her a bracelet in art class. "I made it by myself, Mary said I did good."

"It's amazing buddy." Sarah said, her voice quivering a bit from emotion. "Thank you."

Jason gave a nod and his grandma proceeded to call him into the kitchen. Which left her, her mom and James alone. Happy birthday my beautiful girl." Her mother smiled.

"Thanks Mom." There was a knock on the door.

"You better go get ready." Her mother told her. Sarah gave her a small smile as James opened the door and she hurried up the stairs to freshen up.

Connor gave James a glance as he greeted the man. "Sarah will just be a minute."

"Okay, Thank you Mrs Reese."

"You can still call me Susan Connor." He nodded but didn't reply. "How is your mother?"

"She's alright, thank you." Connor put in politely.

"So what's the plan for tonight?" James asked casually. He was probably trying to figure out the time of Sarah's curfew.

"Connor, look…" Jason interrupted before he could reply. He held both robot toys he had given his arms. "Daddy said he'd get me another one for my birthday."

Connor smiled as Juliet looked at him, he had cleaned up nice, he was wearing all black casual clothes and a thick jacket. He'd told Sarah to dress a little bit fancy but comfortable for their date. She was sure he'd be taking her for dinner before the whole thing. She came down as Jason chatted with Connor under James's glare. Sarah had told him James still had a hard time connecting with Jason in most situations but they were making small progress with Mary's help.

"You got everything?" Her mother asked as she came down.

"Yeah." Sarah put in as Connor eyed her carefully.

"Remember curfew is eleven, alright?" Her mother said. "I'm hoping you keep on your end of the bargain Connor."

"Mom…"

"Yeah, of course." He assured her. James didn't seem too convinced though.

"Let them go already." Juliet said. Sarah and Connor looked at each other.

"Don't forget her present Connor." Jason added in.

Sarah was about to chide him when Connor cut her off. "Don't worry bud, I won't."

* * *

They walked out and into the January cold hand in hand, Sarah was wearing leggings but she felt like pulling herself closer to Connor as they reached the car. "Happy birthday Sarah."

"Thank you." They were alone so Connor leaned to kiss her softly on the lips and opened the door for her.

"So are you going to tell me what we're doing?"

"Not yet, you have to be patient." He hadn't let her into the surprise just yet and she'd been trying to get it out of him all week.

"But… How do I know if I'm dressed okay?"

"You are, trust me." He smiled taking her hand as he drove. She bit her lip. He put on some music and they listened to it for a while without talking much and as as they took a turn into the city and Sarah began to get anxious. "Connor, where are we going?"

They'd reached a small street. "So I thought tonight you would want another taste of Chicago."

Sarah smiled, that was when she noticed a small hotdog stand at the end of the alley. "Come on."

"If it isn't my favorite piano player." A man said as soon as they came into the light. "How's your Mom bud?"

"She's okay Donnie, thanks." He said.

"And this is Sarah huh?" Sarah smiled shyly at the remark. _How many of Connor's acquaintances knew about her?_

"Do you know everyone in Chicago?"

"I get around." He mused. "It's not a fancy restaurant but…"

"I don't mind, as long as I'm with you." They sat in a small table by the side enjoying their food. Sarah had admitted to him her love for hotdogs and he'd figured Donnie's was perfect for her to have a taste of what the city had to offer. She'd barely seen Chicago for real since moving so this was perfect.

She stared at him "What?"

"You got a little.." she mused, reaching to clean it with a napkin. He smiled and leaned to kiss her.

"So do you want to know what the surprise is now?"

She nodded like a small child as he grinned, taking something out from his jacket pocket as they got back to the car after thanking Donnie. "Open it." He handed her an envelope. taking out two tickets that she recognized right away. "Happy birthday Sarah."

"You didn't…" her eyes went wide. "Connor they must have cost a fortune."

"If you don't want to go…" he said trying to distract her from the money subject. He'd never want that to be an issue.

"No, I mean…" Sarah rambled. "Thank you." She threw her arms around his neck and he pulled her up to peck her lips. Sarah deepened the kiss "Did I say thank you?"

"You Did. We should get going." He told her holding off a laugh. "We don't want to be late."

They got to the theater as the weather started to pick up so Connor pulled Sarah closer as they walked hand in hand.

Sarah could hardly believe she was about to see Hamilton live, in the seats they were on, you could see it perfectly and couldn't help but beam at her.

They made it out just in time for curfew. "Oh my god, that was amazing, the energy… everything." Sarah rambled on as they walked back to the car. Connor smiled. "Sorry."

"Don't be. I'm glad you had a good time."

"A good time doesn't cover it. Thank you, thank you, thank you." She stopped so she was facing him. Connor beamed as she kissed him deeply. She felt herself being pushed against the cold car. "We should get in, I don't want you to get in trouble." He said breaking the kiss.

Sarah sighed. "I wish we didn't have to go just yet."

"How about another sleepover?" He said sheepishly. Sarah rolled her eyes.

"Funny. Ha ha." He opened the door for her and got in. They of course put on Hamilton the rest of the way but soon, maybe too soon they'd reached the house.

"Do I have to? This was the perfect birthday." She commented. "The perfect night."

"I'm glad, but yeah, you do have to get out, maybe you can come tomorrow to Molly's? I'm working." He winked at her.

Sarah smiled. "Oh I'm sure I can get my Mom to agree."

They remained in silence for a moment. "Connor I…"

"Wait I just…" He said almost at the same time. "I love you Sarah."

She bit her lip. "I love you too." She didn't hesitate, she did love him. She leaned to kiss him. Sarah felt a shift in the feeling of kissing him, as if saying those words gave their relationship a whole new meaning and Sarah felt herself being pushed against the seat as Connor leaned in closer and kissed her deeply.. "I need to get in, if my Mom comes out because I'm taking too long…"

Sarah said breathing heavily.

"Right." He kissed the corner of her mouth. "Happy birthday again."

"Thank you." She grinned "And thank you for tonight, it really was the best."

"Of course." Connor said again, beaming.

She got out, before those two blue eyes drew her back in.

* * *

Sarah went into the house and tip toed upstairs as her Mother's door was open.

"Did you have a good time?" She asked.

"Mom, we went to see Hamilton.." Sarah said beaming. Nothing could ruin tonight for her.

"Yeah, Connor mentioned it but I wasn't meant to tell you." Susan let in.

"Really?"

"Yes, apparently it was all a plan of some sort. I'm glad you had a good time sweetheart. Happy Birthday. Go to bed, you can tell me all about it in the morning."

"Oh yeah, good night Mom."

Her mother smiled back tiredly. Sarah went in to her room where Juliet was seemingly sleeping.

She sneaked in beside her after changing and fell asleep instantly.

Tonight had been amazing. And she had told Connor she loved him. She'd never said that to a boy before. And she didn't want to forget how it felt.

She loved Connor and he loved her.

Her phone lit up in the dark and she reached for it, only to see Connor's name flash across the screen.

 _Sweet dreams Sarah, I love you. Happy Birthday again._

* * *

"Someone had a good night." His Mom greeted him as he wandered into his living room later that night.

"Mom? What are you doing up?" He asked as he kissed her on the cheek. "And yeah tonight was pretty amazing. Sarah loved it all." _And she loved him. He didn't think the night could get any better._

"Oh well I'm glad to hear that." Elizabeth smiled.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Oh nothing, my temperature is elevated slightly. Katie called Kelly over just to double check But you should get to bed now young man." She told him.

"Alright…but call me if you need anything…" He hesitated.

"I will." Elizabeth said, squeezing his hand.

He got to his room and changed for bed, texting Sarah goodnight and still replaying the last few hours over and over in his head.

When he got a message back from her, _I love you too._ He got into bed and couldn't stop smiling.

* * *

He ended up texting with Henry who was up with his baby sister who was teething when he couldn't get to sleep. He was still on a high.

A knock came to his door and he threw his phone down, he was still on tenterhooks for staying at Sarah's, he didn't want to push his luck, he was supposed to be asleep.

"Connor, Honey, are you awake? It's your Mom."

He didn't need telling twice, he had been through this too many times before. He was up and dressed in an instant. He grabbed the bag he kept in the back of his closet that even Katie had never questioned him about, it was his overnight bag for his Mom's trips to the hospital, they never knew how long they would last, taking a deep breath as he made his way down the stairs before Katie who was waking up Claire.

"Mom?" He called and found Kelly tending to her.

"Hi Baby." Her breath was labored and she was barely awake. He took her hand in his.

"This infection has taken hold pretty quickly, the ambulance is on it's way." Kelly told him in a hushed tone.

"Mom?" Claire called, coming into the room, half dressed and sounding much younger than her nineteen years.

"Mmmm Claire?"

"I'm right here Mom and so is Connor." She said as they both waited with bated breath on the ambulance. His night with Sarah suddenly seemed so far away and so long ago. Like it was another life, where he could just be Connor with no sick Mom or lying father in sight.

* * *

"Hey Henry." Sarah greeted as she approached the counter at Molly's the next day.

"Hi Sarah. What can I get you?" He asked but it seemed rather breathless, Sarah had never seen him so flustered in the diner, only when it came to school work. "Sorry, we're a bit busy today." He shot her a strained smile.

"Eh, actually I was looking for Connor, he said he was working." She admitted sheepishly.

"Oh." Henry stopped in his spot. "You didn't hear?"

"Hear what?" Sarah asked confused and slightly worried.

"It's Elizabeth, she's back in the hospital."

"Sorry I'm late." Nat huffed as she passed Sarah and ducked under the counter to join Henry. "You're lucky my parents let me come, I've just won the 'let me stay in school' battle, I don't think they're going to let me go back to work properly."

"Sorry you were my last resort with Connor not able to come in." Henry apologised.

"Is Elizabeth okay?" Sarah asked.

Henry paused, "Usually these things clear up in a few days…" He didn't sound convinced though.

"Henry, my man, teammate, old pal…" Will swanned up to the counter with a grin.

"What's up Will?"

"So Jay should be arriving soon...with Erin…" He grinned.

"Really? That finally happened huh?"

"Yeah and so you know, if you could just take care of him, swoop in if there's any awkward silences and things, I'd really appreciate it."

"Got it." Henry nodded with a slight smile.

"What's up?" Will asked the three with solemn expressions.

"It's eh, Connor's Mom, she's back in the hospital." Nat admitted as she tied on her apron.

"Oh crap." Will cursed. "I'm sorry, that sucks, it really does." The other three nodded knowingly.

Sarah bit her lip. "Will?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you drive me? To the hospital?" Will glanced at her mother and Jason sitting by a table with Juliet."I'll tell my Mom, but would you mind?"

"Of course not." He told her.

Her mother had agreed to let Will drive her over, much to Sarah's relief.

* * *

Connor sat by his mother's bedside as he got a text from Sarah, he cursed under his breath for not letting her know where he was, that he wouldn't be at Molly's the next morning.

He left the room, just to come face to face with his girlfriend and Will Halstead of all people. "Hi. What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for you." She said. "I asked Will to drive me."

Connor nodded the other boy's way. "Thank you man."

"Of course, will you be okay Reese?"

"Yes, Thank you Will." He smiled softly and walked away, Sarah took a few shy steps her boyfriend's way as if she was unsure it was okay to hug him. "How is she? What happened?"

Connor looked at her, brushing her cheek softly with his thumb. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, it happened in the middle of the night. She's stable for now but it hasn't been 24 hours so they don't know how bad it is this time."

"Oh." She said. "You don't have to apologize to me, I just need to know what I can do to help."

"Be here?" he asked, almost scared she was going to disappear.

"I am." She said grabbing his hand, he played with her fingers comfortingly.

"Sarah," Claire smiled at her. "It's good to see you, I wish under better circumstances my brother here would bring you around though." The other girl gave her a kind smile.

"If there's anyway I can help…"

"No, we just have to wait." Connor explained, collapsing on a nearby chair.

"You need to sleep." Sarah said, trying not to sound too bossy.

"I'm fine."

"That's my thing, remember? And you are not fine." Connor didn't even have the energy to reply after she'd sat beside him, not letting go of his hand, Connor's lips brushing her forehead.

He ended up in the waiting rooms at the ICU with Sarah soothing him, with her fingers running through his hair, Connor closing his eyes at her touch.

 _Yes, Hamilton and Sarah's birthday seemed so far away._

* * *

 ** _Awww! So what did you think of their birthday date? And poor Connor with his Mom being back at the hospital, it's good he has Sarah though. We'll see you guys soon, please review if you can :)_**


	28. Chapter 28

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 28**

The week after Sarah's birthday began and Connor hadn't been to school, she worried but her mother had barely let her see him so she was glad to have managed to make it to the hospital after school on Tuesday. "Come on, you know this." She said to him sweetly as he kept trying to keep up with his school work, but Sarah knew he couldn't focus, his father had arrived from his trip the night before and he was on his toes.

"Can we take a break? This is stupid anyway." He sighed, standing up from his chair. His Mom had been moved to a private room as she was stable but she was sleeping and they were sitting by the small room area away from the bed so they wouldn't disturb her.

"Okay." Sarah said, staying put in her chair, watching him.

"Connor, come here honey." His mother called. They both froze. Had they been too loud? "Sarah, you too please." Both kids moved accordingly, and a smile appeared on the woman's face. "What's this I'm hearing about school being stupid?"

Connor wanted to roll his eyes. Sarah gazed over at him.

"It is." He huffed.

"Really?" His mother said. "I happened to love school as a kid, I was very much like Sarah actually. "Now, I don't want to hear you say school is stupid, understand?"

Connor nodded. "Good. Why don't you two sit?"

They did as they were told, Connor pulling a chair for them both.

Claire came into the room to find them all talking, but Sarah knew she'd have to go home soon. She was already pushing her luck with Susan.

"I'll drive you." Connor offered. He shared a knowing look with his sister. His Mom seemed to be having a good day anyway.

Connor's car felt like a safe haven for Sarah after the few days she'd had . She hadn't told him what kind of day she had had Monday or today, but she wasn't about to worry him further.

"Will you be okay?" She asked. He nodded and kissed her, but this one was different, unsure, sad but also more urgent. "I love you, call me if you need anything?"

He nodded, giving her a small smile. "I love you too."

* * *

Wednesday wasn't any better at school but she tried to focus on her studies and not the bullying, it wasn't the first time and would not be her last. "I understand now why Connor is with you, he needs to take on charity eventually, and it's good practice." Ava put in as they came out of biology. Nina spotted her over and walked beside her.

"Sarah? Everything okay?" She smiled, she'd been hanging out a lot with her lately because of their school project.

"Ignore her."

"I'm trying…" Sarah admitted. They made it over to lunch and she was grateful not to be alone. Nina went to find Will and was suddenly replaced by Jay.

"How's Connor's mom?"

Sarah shrugged. "The same I guess, it will still be two weeks or so before she can go home."

"That is hard, trust me I know, don't remember a lot of what happened with Mom but Mr. Charles says we block things, hard things."

 _Could she block the feeling of reverting to fear over Ava?_

"Right."

"You're worried about him." It wasn't a question.

"He just isn't himself Jay and that scares me. I'm trying to help him but the more I feel like I am the more he pulls away."

"Sounds like Will, just don't tell neither of them that…"

"What should I do?"

Jay shrugged. "Maybe Nat and Henry can help you? They know him best."

Sarah bit her lip. That was true but they had been dealing with a lot this past few days themselves. Natalie had had a bad week start and she'd missed Monday and Tuesday and Henry had practice with the hockey team and the diner so she'd barely seen him either.

"I'm sorry I gotta get to class." Jay said. "Will you be okay?"

"Sure." She replied, but worried about going to her locker to get her books. It was a regular occurance the last few days, to get horrible notes stuffed into her locker.

She problem was that she knew who sent them, she just couldn't prove it.

 _Nerd much?_

 _Go back to your own classes._

 _Charity case_

 _Everyone thinks you're just a rich boy's puppy_

 _Pathetic_

 _You don't deserve that bracelet._

She'd made it back to her own lessons, almost all junior courses now as she was met by Mr. Charles after her last class.

"Miss Reese? Would you mind a word?"

She sighed. James still hadn't texted her to say he was on his way to pick them up but she had to go get Jason. "It will just be a moment."

She stepped into his office. "How are things? I've been meaning to get to you, Principal Goodwin and I think we should have a meeting with your mother to discuss your future at Gaffney. But I thought I would bring it up with you first, have you ever considered finishing school early?"

She had, before she had friends and a life and really enjoyed high school, that was until this week it seemed.

Her phone buzzed. "I'm sorry Mr. Charles, I really have to go."

"Of course, please discuss it with your Mom before we make any decisions, have a good day Sarah."

"You too sir and I will," she nodded politely and headed to get Jason.

"Where's Connor?" Her brother asked, they usually came to get him together. "Is he not your boyfriend anymore?"

"He is, but his Mom is still in the hospital and he hasn't come to school yet." Sarah explained.

"Oh." Jason said. "Okay." It was clear he missed him, she did too. "Can we go visit Connor? To the hospital?"

"It's not that easy bud…"

"But I go to hospitals all the time."

"I know but this is a different one." She went on explaining the best she could until Jason spotted James.

"We need to go to the hospital." He said as soon as his father greeted them. "Connor's mom is there."

"Jason…"

"I need to get you two home, come on Jason, I'm sure his Mom is being well taken care of."

"She's got cancer, is that bad?" _Had her brother heard her and Susan talking?_

"Where did you hear that?" His father replied.

"Mommy and Sarah were talking..." James shot Sarah a glance.

"Yes it is very bad but I'm sure doctors are giving her the best care possible, isn't that right, Sarah?"

"They are. Maybe you can make her a card and I can bring it to her?" Sarah put in.

Jason nodded. "Okay."

* * *

They got home and James made dinner. It was clear he was trying to be on Susan's good side.

Sarah played with her food as James began to clear the table. She moved along to help him as Jason was in his tablet in the living room.

"How is the situation with Connor's Mom?" He was serious but gentle as he spoke.

"Stage four brain cancer." Sarah said.

James sighed. "You help him make that card and I can drive you to see him tomorrow after school?"

Sarah smiled. "For sure, thank you."

"Hey Sarah?" She turned around. "Listen, your mom and I have been trying to work things out for you and Jason, not just him, you know that right?"

Sarah nodded. "You don't really have to…"

"I always wanted to adopt you, but it was a bad situation with your father and…"

"I get it, it's okay. You're here for Jason and that's what matters."

"I'm here for you too if you need me." He replied.

"Do you really want to take Jason away?" James didn't answer. "You know that's the worst for him, don't you?"

"I don't want to hurt anyone here Sarah."

"But you are, the one person you want to protect is the one who's gonna have it worst."

James took a minute to answer. "I want what's best for you both Sarah you have to believe me."

Sarah's phone buzzed in her pocket. "Go ahead, I'll finish cleaning up."

She nodded and headed upstairs. Connor talked to her about everything and nothing, mostly she wanted to keep his mind off Elizabeth's situation.

She heard James make his way upstairs to tuck Jason in. "Sarah? Are you there?" Connor asked.

"Yep, I'm here." She said into the phone fidgeting with the leather bracelet on her wrist. "Have you slept at all?"

"Not much." He admitted. "How is Jason?"

"He's getting used to having James back, I'm just afraid he might bolt again. Jason asked about you today actually."

"He did?"

"He misses you."

"So do I." Connor said. Sarah felt so tired all of the sudden but didn't want to leave him. "And you. I wish you were here to keep me company."

"I'll see you tomorrow? After school?"

"Okay. Mom will be happy to see you."

"Good. And we can continue with our math lesson. Downey isn't going easy on us."

"Do we have to? I have a better idea on how we can spend our time." She heard a glint of playfulness in his voice but just as fast it was gone.

"Connor, I'm serious." He heard him sigh into the phone. "Henry actually asked me to tutor him again so I can see you both tomorrow."

"He did huh? Well, you are a very good teacher." He put in sweetly. "Although I'm not sure if I should be jealous or…"

"It's not funny…"

"Yeah, no, I'm sorry, I'm just tired."

She sighed. "You should get some sleep then. Good night, I love you."

"I love you too." He said as he hung up and laid back on the hard couch.

"How's Sarah?" Claire asked, joining him. He'd been sleeping on the armchair so she'd be more comfortable but for right now they couldn't seem to be able to, no matter how hard they tried.

Connor shrugged. "Okay. She keeps insisting on school though." He said running his fingers through his ruliy hair.

"Well, she's a smart kid." His sister nudged at him. "You should listen to her."

"I've almost forgotten it's less than two weeks for Valentine's Day." Connor commented tiredly, trying to shift the conversation.

"Oh, did you have something special planned?"

"No, not really, her birthday was as far as I went."

"I'm sure she'll love whatever you do, She already swoons enough." Connor rolled his eyes.

"And you?"

"Me, what? We're talking about my love life now? It's non- existent."

Connor huffed. "I don't believe that."

"Well it's true. That is a frivolous world, I can't believe I used to think it was everything."

"Until it wasn't." Connor refuted.

"Exactly." They remained quiet for a moment. "Connor, I just, I want you to know that I'm sorry, for these past few years.. I've been a pretty crappy sister, haven't I?"

Connor leaned back and crossed his legs. "I'm sorry too. I haven't made it easy on you either."

"She asked me to look after you. Her baby boy." Claire said. "Problem is, I don't even think I can take care of myself." Claire added.

Connor sighed. "You don't have to."

"You want to tell her that?" Claire laughed bitterly. "Say all you want Connor but you're still a kid and you'll always be that to her."

Running his fingers through his face, he replied. "We'll figure it out."

"Will we?" She inquired. "Once she's gone all we'll have will be Dad."

"Well she's here now."

"I was horrible to her too."

"Claire…"

"No. She's dying and I barely have time to make up for all my crap. How could I be so selfish?" He wrapped his arm around her holding her as she cried.

Elizabeth laid there, watching her children, unknown to them.

She'd have to call Chris in the morning.

* * *

With Jason's card in her hand, Sarah thanked James for the ride and made her way to the hospital doors where Connor was already waiting for her.

He looked beyond tired. Even though he smiled and looked excited to see her and pulled her in for a hug she could see it in his appearance. His eyes looked like they were permanently red tinged, his shoulders were hunched with tension.

"I've missed you." He murmured into her hair.

"I've missed you too." She said, placing a tentative kiss to his mouth. He just gave her a sad smile.

"Mom will be happy to see you, Ms. Tutor." He reached for her hand as he led the way up to Elizabeth's room.

He didn't need to know about her day, about the notes that insinuated that what she did with Connor and Henry during their tutoring sessions didn't have anything to do with books or learning. She worried that more people thought like that, that she was some plaything or she was some naïve sophomore desperate for attention.

Henry had even missed school today and so had Natalie, again, so she had ran out of juniors to sit with and with Emily, Monique and Gabby having become some sort of inseparable group and Nina and Will in their bubble and Jay on the phone with Erin, she resorted to what she used to do in Michigan.

She spent lunch in the library, trying to tell herself that she just needed time to organise her notes for helping out Connor and Henry but really she was getting that nagging feeling of fear all over again.

She wasn't sure how far Ava was going to take things and it _scared_ her.

"Hey Sarah." Henry smiled from where he was sitting on the sofa with Claire while Elizabeth slept.

"Hi Henry, Hi Claire." She greeted, taking another chair beside them and leaving her bag down. "Oh, this is from Jason, he wanted to come visit and see if you were okay but I didn't think it was a good idea…" She said, handing the card to Connor.

A guarded look appeared on Connor's face, "Yeah, it's probably for the best. Things aren't great." He sighed before drifting over and putting the card next to the other few on the windowsill.

"Don't say that." Claire protested but even Sarah could tell that her heart wasn't in it.

"How was school today?" Henry asked, trying to steer the conversation away from Elizabeth's condition.

"Good." Sarah shrugged.

"I hope I didn't miss much. Max _and_ Annabelle both picked up a bug and Dad had to meet Kenny's teacher after he got into a fight in school and I had to open the diner because Mom got sick too and couldn't get out of bed."

Claire looked like she was trying not to say anything.

"We didn't start anything new, mostly just carrying on from yesterday, I can show you my notes if you want to." She smiled. She knew Henry had to keep his grades up to keep playing.

"Thanks Sarah." He replied.

"Do you want to look over my notes too?" She asked Connor who had stopped in the middle of the room, looking at his Mom.

He nearly jumped at her words, "Eh, yeah, sure."

"I'll go and get some coffee?" Claire stood up and shot Sarah a grateful yet tired smile, "Thanks for dropping by."

Later, Claire drifted off to sleep in the chair by her Mom while Sarah showed Connor and Henry her notes for the next hour until the doctor came by for a check-up.

The four left the doctor to his work and decided to take a walk on the grounds, even if it still was cold outside, the Rhodes siblings seemed like they needed fresh air.

"Halstead?" Connor asked in surprised as they rounded a corner and nearly bumped into Will who was in a high-visible vest and pushing a patient in a wheelchair.

He almost turned as red as his hair. "Eh…hi." He nodded to the small group.

"Are these friends of yours Will?" The middle aged woman asked from her chair.

"Eh, yeah, from school." He replied.

"Aw more volunteers, isn't that nice?" She smiled.

"Yeah, great, hey I better get you back inside Mrs Kavinsky before you get too cold." He said, "See you guys later." He smiled grimly and pushed his way past.

"Isn't that kid that Natalie was always talking about and you got into fights with?" Claire asked as Will disappeared from view.

"How do you know about that?" Connor asked with a look.

Claire shrugged, "I've been asking Katie and Mom to fill me in on everything. But what's he doing here?"

"Looks like he's volunteering." Henry said, "I never knew about it though."

Sarah didn't either but she thought that maybe he was keeping it a secret, just like he didn't like talking about his Mom.

"Maybe he's trying out different work experiences?"

"To do what? Become a doctor?" Connor scoffed.

"He has good grades." Sarah put in, "He might not participate that mch but Jay says he's smarter than he seems. It could be a possibility."

They made their way back to Elizabeth's room where she was now awake.

"Hi there Henry, hello Sarah, keeping my boys' grades in shape huh?" she smiled.

"I don't know how she puts up with us." Henry joked as he kissed Elizabeth's cheek.

Connor's face darkened at the words so Sarah took his hand in his.

Henry had to get home for dinner not long after but Chris had turned up. He made a big deal about being there as Henry was leaving as if it was some great coincidence. Which just made Sarah think that it was planned.

The Herrmann's were taking shifts with the Rhodes. Sarah was just glad someone was around for them, even if their Dad wasn't.

Henry then offered to drive her home and so she was forced to say goodbye to Connor. "I'll see you soon, okay?" She told him as his grip tightened.

"You better." He said with a smile, his lips grazing her forehead. "Thank you for being here."

"Of course. Keep me updated?"

"I will." He gave her a kiss on the mouth, not minding that Henry stood there beside them.

"I'll see you man." He hugged Henry goodbye. "Thanks for keeping an eye on her." he whispered glancing at his girlfriend.

"Sure thing, don't worry too much okay C? You'll get gray hair before you are 20." Henry joked ruffling his hair. "Hang in there, call if you need anything?"

"I will." Connor replied as he watched them walk away, shoving his hands into his pockets and walking back inside.

* * *

Christopher Hermann found himself in a very complicated situation once more as Elizabeth looked at him with those eyes, they were hard to fight against. "What's this really about Lizzie?"

"There, on the brown bag." She said, Kelly had gone to get some coffee so they were alone. Hermann moved to retrieve the envelope. "Cornelius might have power over the kids' inheritance but I knew who he was when I married him."

"Which you shouldn't have had in the first place." Chris shot her a look but Elizabeth brushed his comment off.

"After I got sick, the kids were so young and honestly none of us knew I would make it this far, so I took some precautions."

"What kind of precautions?"

"Monetary ones and custody matters." Chris took out the papers. "Claire's already considered an adult so I asked my lawyer to take another look at them."

"Lizzie, what are you saying?"

"Would you please, please take care of Connor? I don't think I'll be here long enough for him to come of age…" Her voice was strained. "Claire could become responsible for him but.."

"Lizzie, he'd kill me."

"Cornelius." She said.

"Yes, and Connor too, he's not a little kid you can just hand over."

"He'll still be a minor when I'm gone and at least this way I can protect him in case something happens." She coughed.

Hermann thanked the heavens the kids were outside saying goodbye to Sarah and Claire had gone home to get clean clothes and clear her head. "Protect them both from it all. He might want to give everything to his new girlfriend." Elizabeth continued as Chris gave her a grim smile. "My father had it all planned out before I did. He left all the money he'd come into to me and the kids, they will not be as rich but they'll have a good life, specially if I can cash in the life insurance. "It will give them a bit of their father's as well."

"Do you think he's capable of cutting them off?" Chris asked, his voice shaking.

"I don't know, but I'm not willing to find out." She admitted. "Please Chris, I know it's a lot to ask from you but you are the only person I trust. You and Cindy."

"She will need some talking to." Chris admitted "And if Cornelius tries anything, I will need a very good lawyer."

"Let me worry about that." She bit her lip as if she was keeping some sort of a big secret. "There's some money meant for you too, if you need it." She said slowly.

"I don't want it." Chris said, utterly taken aback. Elizabeth looked looked as if she was about to break down in tears but kept her ground.

"Chris...you have six kids and this is a big favor, it's the least I can do."

"All the money will go to Claire and Connor." He stated. "That's the only way I'm agreeing to this."

She sighed. "Fine. Thank you." He moved closer, sitting on the bed and taking her hand.

"God, woman, what do you suppose I'll do without you?" Elizabeth smiled.

"Keep being the good man that you are, the only person I'd want to steer my children in the right direction."

He kissed her cheek softly, and a sense of sadness filled him as he considered this could be the last time he might see her.

Chris made it out of the room just as he came face to face with Cornelius Rhodes, Connor too was coming back so they found themselves in crossroads. "What are you doing here?"

Connor froze on his tracks at his father's tone.

"What you should be doing, funny huh?" Chris replied. "I'll see you kiddo." He said to Connor, before shooting Cornelius a look and walking away.

* * *

Sarah was very surprised to see Natalie come back to school on Friday. She seemed better, much like herself but she'd noticed her baby bump appeared to be bigger than the last time she had seen her.

"Hey Sarah, how's Connor? Henry told me you've been to see them, I can't be around hospitals much and he doesn't tell me a lot, because, well, he's Connor…"

Sarah was beginning to pick on that habit too because she hadn't told anyone about Ava and the taunting.

"He's okay, as well as can be expected I guess."

"It's scary I know, he just turns into this different person when his Mom's health deteriorates, I remember when he was about 13 and Liz had a particularly bad stint, he was forced to stay with us, my Mom wouldn't let him see her much and Connor went ballistic, he ran away. Hermann found him halfway to the hospital."

Sarah's heart sank. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Exactly what you are doing, be there for him. That's all we can do right now."

Sarah nodded. "And you, what's new with you?"

"Not much." the sophomore admitted. "I'm studying with Henry for Downey's test."

"Oh yeah, I heard, mind if I join in? I could use the tutoring if I want to actually graduate."

"Of course." They made it over to Biology where Natalie sat with April and Nina with Sarah, where she tried to focus on the lesson but all she could do was glance over to where Ava was with Doris, whispering.

Sarah didn't think the taunting could get worse until she was alone at lunch and her phone chimed in her pocket.

 _Go back to your own grade, nobody wants a know it all around._

The number was private but it didn't take much to figure out who it was from.

The hockey team seemed to be having an impromptu meet up at lunch and Nat was sitting with April and Nina. And while she was friendly with them, Sarah still didn't feel comfortable enough to just drop into a seat beside them.

She was making her way from school after receiving another message, _Why would Connor put up with you for much longer? Loner._

"Hey Sarah." Henry appeared at her shoulder. "Everything okay?" He asked, seeing her frown.

"Oh yeah, everything's fine." If she hid it then it wouldn't hurt as much.

"Good. Hey I know I'm no Connor but I'm working after school if you want to stop by Molly's for some company."

Sarah's inner critic decided to pipe up and tell her that obviously even Henry thought she was a loner too.

"I wish I could but I promised my Mom I'd be home for family dinner this evening." Even James was coming over.

"Oh well that sounds nice." He beamed, "Some other time." He smiled and waved as she went off to collect Jason.

* * *

Emily played with her phone in Molly's that evening.

"What's up with you?" Gabby asked as she came by with drinks for her and Monique. Gabby was working more on account of Natalie Manning not being allowed to anymore.

"I feel bad." She moaned.

"Why?" Monique asked.

"Have I been ignoring Sarah? I feel like I've been ignoring her…"

"Isn't she basically a junior now? And she's always hanging around with Connor anyway right?" Gabby said.

Emily bit her lip, trust Gabby to give her honest opinion, but it didn't make her feel any better. Gabby hadn't got to know Sarah like she had

And she was missing her best friend. Sure Gabby had come back and then Sarah and Connor got more serious and Emily felt like she hadn't even seen Sarah in forever.

She'd do something about it soon.

She contented herself chatting with Monique about the cute hockey players while Gabby worked and dropped by every time she could.

"Hey." Jay greeted as he slid in beside them.

"Oh hello stranger." Emily taunted, "Took time off from chatting to Erin huh?"

Jay blushed, "Sorry about that…" He was besotted and Emily was actually just pleased to see his feelings reciprocated.

"Sarah is so lucky." Monique sighed as Connor Rhodes walked in and made a beeline for the counter.

"Tell me about it." She didn't even want Connor, she just wanted romance.

The friends ordered food and chatted more than did their homework while they waited for the food. Emily kept an eye on Connor, expecting to see Sarah appear beside him as usual.

She nearly choked on her drink when, in broad daylight, in front of everyone, Connor stood up to greet a brunette that _was not Sarah_ with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Monique patted her back, "You okay Em?"

She mumbled something in reply but kept her eye on Sarah's boyfriend who was now sitting with the girl she didn't recognize at the counter, while her hand rested on his knee and they chatted intently.

Emily was officially freaking out.

She wanted to reach out to Sarah in a friendly way, not to tell her that her boyfriend looked like he was cheating on her.

* * *

 **So. much. Drama. What's Sarah going to do about the bullying? Stay with us to find out and thanks for reading!**

 **And how sweet are Elizabeth and Hermann?**


	29. Chapter 29

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 29**

Molly's had a lot of customers during busy afternoons , something that made Henry's Dad happy but made the teen tired. Still, Henry tried to treat them all with a smile. Usually the faces blurred together and he got through the que pretty quickly.

That was until Ethan's little sister stepped up to the mark. "How could you?" She demanded, placing her two hands on the countertop with a betrayed expression on her face.

"Excuse me?" He stopped mindlessly wiping down the counter and mentally ticking through his list of jobs to look at the girl. Ethan had always said that she was outspoken.

"How could you stand there and let it happen?" She practically cried at him causing some of the other customers to glance their way.

"Let what happen?" He asked in a worry, craning his neck to glance around the diner. Nothing seemed too wrong.

"Hey kid, Mom needs you to go and get some more diapers and milk asap." His Dad appeared at his shoulder, "I may have forgotten to pick them up and she may be very annoyed when you get home…" He grimaced sheepishly, "Hey Emily, what can I get you?" He asked with a smile.

He obviously hadn't heard her giving out, Henry mused.

"A son that is a better friend for Sarah." Emily told him seriously before leaving the money for her table's bill and walking away.

"What was that about?" His Dad asked, handing him money for the errands.

"No idea." Henry replied.

* * *

"Aren't you going to see who that is?" James asked as Sarah's phone chimed _again_ as they were all sitting down later that evening to watch TV with Jason.

Sarah cringed. She had been ignoring her phone all evening. She knew that Connor was with his Mom and he usually only texted her at night before bed lately. So she didn't want to see Ava's jabs at her.

"Yeah." She mumbled, reaching for her phone, bracing herself before finding out that it was Emily.

 _Heyyy how are you? I haven't seen you in ages. What's up? Xoxo_

Sarah let out the breath she was holding.

She texted the girl back, delighted to have her best friend back in contact. She couldn't help the little voice in her head that had somehow become Ava's voice telling her that Emily was only messaging her because Gabby or Monique were busy though. She was the last resort.

They were chatting about school when Emily sent a message asking about Connor.

When Sarah said that Connor's Mom was sick right now and he was off school she replied asking how things were with her and Connor.

Sarah bit her lip in worry, maybe Ava had gotten to her? Maybe everyone knew that he was being distant? Maybe he had told someone he was getting fed up of her?

 _Things are great_.

Sarah sent her message, feeling that it was an utter lie while she sat down to start studying.

She jumped at her phone when it buzzed again only to find the message that she had been dreading.

 _New girls are novelties, everyone knows Connor will get bored with you. Just like Joey did._

Sarah dropped her phone on her lap. Had Ava gone digging in her past too?

"Hey Sarah." Henry said as he caught up with her going into school the next day. She jumped at his words, lost in her own world.

"Oh, hi Henry." She barely met his eyes.

Henry felt a stab of guilt. Emily's words had gotten to him, was he not being a good friend? He had promised Connor he'd look out for her and he had seemed to be falling miserably

"How was your dinner yesterday?"

"Good thanks."

"Cool." He smiled, "Did you hear from Connor yesterday?"

"No. He texted to say his Mom was having a bad night and he couldn't talk." She nearly had tears in her eyes, _Connor wouldn't fob her off would he?_

"Oh right, Dad mentioned that…" Henry grimaced.

They didn't have too long to hang around and chat as Sarah had another meeting with Mr Charles.

"Hey man." Will fist bumped Henry in the hall. "You ready for practice this evening?"

"My Dad has our hockey schedule highlighted and copied and taped to most surfaces in our house, I'm ready." He rolled his eyes in a fond way. "Hey Will, did you notice anything strange about Sarah lately?"

"Reese?" Will asked, falling into step beside him as they walked to class.

"Yeah, you guys were close with the bus and everything right?"

"Yes, but now her stepdad is bringing them more often than not lately. Why?"

"I don't know, Ethan's sister mentioned something yesterday about Sarah needing better friends and I just got this bad feeling…"

"Well I know she's in some of my classes now, but with Nat and Nina and Jay making the team, I mean I guess I hadn't noticed her missing at lunch recently."

"Really?"

"Yeah…Leave it with me, I'll ask Jay. Don't worry, I'm sure she's fine. You see how she is with Jason and taking on extra classes, she's a tough girl."

* * *

Emily was worrying, because what she was doing might actually be considered stalking but it didn't matter.

She needed to get to the bottom of it.

Sarah mentioned at lunch when Emily practically dragged her over to their table that she hadn't heard from Connor at all the previous day, when Emily had seen him for herself at Molly's.

She didn't like people lying. She had had enough of it in her early life.

So she was currently at the hospital. Waiting for Connor to come out so she could corner him.

"Emily? What are you doing here?" She nearly fell off the bench when she was spotted by Connor and Henry. She looked up from the book she wasn't reading, wondering if the all black outfit was too much.

"What are you doing here?" She shot back.

"My Mom's here." Connor said, taken aback by her sharp words.

She wouldn't let them throw her from her game.

"Well what were you doing at Molly's yesterday?" She stood up and crossed her arms.

"Getting food?" He answered sending Henry a questioning glance.

"Yeah and cheating on my best friend you jerk." She shouted and stepped forward in fury which made him step back in shock.

"Woah woah woah, Emily what the hell are you talking about?" Henry asked, standing between the pair. "Connor was getting food to bring back for him and Claire."

"You're not innocent either." Emily shot him a glare that rivalled his mother's and made him shrink under it. "Standing around letting that other girl practically feel him up when he has a _girlfriend_."

"Wait, are you talking about _Kim?"_ Connor asked, his eyebrows shooting up.

"Well if that's what you want to call your other woman, sure." She spat.

A smile played on the corner of his lips, Emily, however was not amused.

"Oh right, Kim was there." Henry smiled, "Yeah Kim Burgess, a friend of Claire's from school, she hasn't changed much…"

"Wait, how do you know who she is?" Connor asked and Emily felt suddenly excluded from her own conversation.

"She has been friends with Claire forever." Henry shrugged as if it meant nothing but Emily could see the red blush rising in his cheeks.

"…Yeah but I never thought you paid that much attention to Claire's friends…" Connor remarked.

"Oh…well…I didn't…not really. You know. We were all friends, I saw Claire around. Not too much. Just you, know I noticed the people she hung around with. Not in a weird way, I didn't like stalk them or anything…Kim has always been nice." Henry ranted.

"Uh. Yes. ." Connor nodded, "She was asking about Mom, she heard from Claire she was back in the hospital, she has a boyfriend."

"Who has a boyfriend? Claire?" Henry jumped in a little too quickly.

Connor shot his friend a look as if he didn't quite recognise him, "No. Kim has had a boyfriend for years. Adam, Claire and her have always kept in touch." He told Emily. "So I've known her forever."

"So you're both cheating then?" Emily asked.

"No." Connor laughed. "She has a boyfriend. I have a girlfriend. She's my sister's friend so that would be weird anyway. I literally bumped into an old family friend, that's all. Besides, I love Sarah why the hell would I mess that up?"

"Oh…" Emily faltered, this wasn't part of the plan.

"Hold on, you didn't tell Sarah your theory did you?"

"No, I didn't what kind of friend do you think I am?" She retorted. Emily wanted the earth to swallow her, and then her mind finally allowed her to register Connor's words. "Wait, you love Sarah?"

"I do." Connor said firmly. Henry looked at Emily, he didn't want to appear amused but the whole situation had been weird enough.

"Oh… I should, probably go." Emily said shyly. "I'm sorry I was just… I saw you with that girl and…" Connor didn't have time to answer as the girl apologized once more and dashed off.

"What just happened?" Connor asked Henry.

"No idea."

* * *

"Hi Sarah."

"What's up Reese?"

Sarah found herself in a Halstead sandwich as she made her way from class to class that week.

"Hi guys." She said as the two boys flanked both sides.

"So how are things?" Will asked.

"Good thanks." She eyed both of them, "What's wrong?"

"nothing." Jay said, throwing his hands up in innocence. "Just haven't seen you much lately, just catching up."

"Okay."

"So how are you finding all the new classes?" Will asked.

Sarah shrugged, between Ava and things with Connor she felt distracted and restless and the new classes were turning out to be a bit of a struggle. "Fine. How's practice?"

"There's more to it than I thought. Antonio is one strict captain, has us practicing every day if he could." Jay said, but then he changed the conversation right back to her as if he were suddenly inspecting her life. "How's Jason?"

"Good."

He nodded, as if he had expected her monosyllabic answer and Will jumped in "How's he getting on in school now?"

"Fine. He's made friends." She told them, wondering when the investigation was over. She just wasn't in the mood for talking anymore. She had enough on her mind. And with Connor unavailable, her best friend occupied with Gabby and the rest of them running to work or hockey or anything else, she felt like she was on a slippery slope.

 _Maybe Ava was right. Maybe she was just a novelty. And the sheen had worn off her._

 _She was right back to where she was in Michigan._

 _Invisible. Unwanted_.

And on top of it she was still terrified about the situation between James and Jason.

And she still had to get to class.

"I have to get to Math guys, see you later." She told them as she ducked around Will and into her classroom.

Jay and Will swapped a look. Henry was right. Something was wrong with Sarah. She hadn't been that shy and quiet since her first day at Gaffney.

* * *

Sarah walked through the library, thankful it was quiet. Apparently not many other students spent their lunch times studying. She walked through the shelves, perusing the titles before finding a book that would cover the topic they had started to tackle in math with a different method. She liked to know all methods and solutions so she could teach everyone else. She liked to know all the answers to any possible questions.

That was what made her feel safe.

She made her way back to the group of tables at the back that she usually had to herself so she could spread all her notebooks and books out on, while also staying far enough away from the librarian's desk that she could sneak a few snacks in.

But today there was someone else sitting at her spot.

"Oh hi Sarah." Ethan Choi looked up from where he had been intently writing notes from the highlighted section of his textbook.

"Hi Ethan." She said with a shy smile. Apart from the fact that he was Emily's older brother and seemed disciplined and responsible, she didn't know much about him.

She sat down and unzipped her backpack and began unloading her study supplies. Between the two of them they nearly took over the entire space.

Ethan grinned, "What will we be like when we're seniors huh?"

Sarah laughed quietly, "I'm going to need my own library."

She decided she liked Ethan a lot after that because he just let her be. He went back to studying and let her do the same. He didn't carry on awkward small talk or pepper her with questions.

Her phone vibrated with messages during lunch but Sarah just checked the sender now and finding it was privated, she just tried to ignore it. Ava did not get to ruin her study time.

Sarah started to pack up her things a few minutes before class and she was picking up a folder when three notes fell to the table.

She knew that she should just put them in the trash, but she never did anything but shove them back into her locker in case anyone would see them. And now they got stuck in her things.

Ethan looked up as she started packing up and stretched. He raised his eyebrows when he saw the folded pieces of paper. "Love notes?"

Sarah wished.

"Oh…Um…no…" She scrambled to get them out of sight and zipped up her backpack.

"Okay." Ethan nodded and started to clear up his notes as she stood up.

"Hey Sarah…" He said just as she turned to leave.

"Yeah?" She asked.

"Just…" He paused as if searching for the right words. "Just don't ever let anyone make you feel _lesser than_ you know?" He said. "And you're part of the group now and a good influence on Emily, you're part of the family now."

Sarah nodded hurriedly, hoping to distract from the tears springing in her eyes.

Ethan shrugged his backpack onto his back and smiled, changing the topic. "So I see you're in nearly all my classes now. How do you do it? Biology is hard enough without skipping a grade…"

They chatted as they walked to the next class. She liked it, feeling that Ethan had somehow become some sort of bodyguard, and she didn't look over her shoulder for Ava and her cronies.

She navigated the rest of the day focused on school and Jason when she got home. Her brother asked about Connor again and she tried to assure him he'd see him soon, but honestly, she wasn't sure.

 _Connor had enough going on, she couldn't be sure of anything, not even about their relationship. She hated herself for even thinking it, but old habits died hard, she was beginning to learn that the hard way._

* * *

Henry couldn't shake the odd feeling of noticing Sarah was out of herself, Connor had asked him to keep an eye on her and he apparently hadn't done a very good job.

But he wouldn't dare text him, he was already dealing with a lot, including his father and trying to keep a strong front for Claire. So much for keeping his secret crush hidden.

"Henry, what was so important?" He found himself face to face with Natalie Saturday morning in a rare occasion in which he didn't have to work at the diner.

"Have you noticed Sarah acting strange, lately?" He asked.

"Ah, I really haven't paid attention, why? She probably just misses Connor."

"Nope, that's not it." Henry sighed, flopping on Natalie's bed as she sat on her desk chair. "I'm sorry, how are you?"

She smiled, always sweet Henry. "Okay, but it's getting a bit harder to not be tired all the time."

"Oh yeah, second trimester can do that to you." He said casually. "Sorry, I'm doing it again, aren't I?"

"You're going to be an amazing uncle Henry."She laughed.

"Really?"

"Of course." She told him. "So, about Sarah, I'll keep an eye out. Sorry, I've kind of been zooming out since…"

"Jeff?" Oh yeah, the guy had suddenly decided to make an appearance back into her life, he hadn't guaranteed her anything, but at least they were on speaking terms again. " I get it."

"You're still swooning after Claire?" Henry didn't seem amused. "What?"

"I am a really crappy friend." He said frustrated. "Being in love with my best friend's sister."

"Henry…"

"So, did I tell you about Emily Choi?" Henry tried to steer the conversation. He told her about the strange moment in which Emily had accused Connor of cheating and his admission afterwards.

"Wait, he loves her?" Natalie asked, surprised.

"That's what he said." Henry sighed. "Did you know?"

"No, I mean with everything that happened with his Mom…" It hit them both hard, the idea that they seemed to be so far from Connor even though they both tried to be there for him the best they could. "I can't believe neither of us knew."

"What should we do?" Henry asked. He was not a leader, that much he was aware of, when they were younger, Natalie and Connor generally led the way and he followed.

"About Sarah?" Nat asked. Her best friend nodded. "Well, she's coming over on Monday to study, should we try and talk to her then?"

They stayed quiet for a while until Henry realized he had to head home. "Henry?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you drive me, to the hospital later? I want to check on Connor…"

"You really shouldn't…"

"We can go to the cafeteria down the street, I just… I need to talk to him, he told Sarah he loved her and neither of us knew, Henry that's not okay, I don't want… this." She gestured to her belly "Or the fact that we might have to grow up too fast to break us apart, we promised."

"I guess, but Nat, the thing is, we are growing up, I mean you are having a baby and Liz might not have a lot of time left." She was almost in tears as he spoke.

"I know, darn it Henry, I don't need reminding okay?"

"Sorry but…"

"But what?"

"Since when am I the normal one?" Henry smiled, Natalie sneaked one herself as she tried to control her emotions.

"I always knew you were, you've always been the glue keeping us together." Natalie sat on the bed with him. "So, will you drive me?"

"Sure, we can have dinner with him or something?"

"Okay."

"But don't mention anything about Sarah, I don't want him to go all Connor about it."

* * *

Connor paced back and forth as they waited for the doctor to come out of his Mom's room as Claire was sitting on a chair with Katie, the older woman held the girl as best as she could. "Connor, honey, sit, you are going to drill holes on the ground…"

His phone buzzed.

"Seriously, sit." Claire said tiredly. He did, taking the other chair beside Katie. "Is it Sarah?"

"Henry." Connor said checking his phone. "He says he and Natalie want to come over."

"Natalie really shouldn't…" Katie commented.

"No, they want to go down the street to have something to eat." He sighed.

"Go, you could use it sweetheart, you've been barely out all week." Katie said sweetly.

"Connor, Claire." Dr. Haas came out of the room. Katie stood beside them both. "Well, results are so much better than yesterday, she seems to be responding to treatment. If you'd prefer her to be at home, which I think would be best, she could leave Monday if all keeps improving…"

"Thank the heavens." Katie sighed.

"Is your father around? I need to speak to him."

"I'll go get him…" Katie offered, but Claire stopped her. "He's probably on a call…"

"I'll go Katie, stay here with Connor, I'm sure Mom will be glad to see you."

"Claire…" Connor called, his eyes pleading silently. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah…"

"Alright, when you find him, please tell him to meet me in my office."

"Okay." Claire thanked the doctor and went in search of her father.

"Can we see her?"

"Perhaps just one of you?"

"Go ahead Katie, I'll be right back." She gave him a tender brush on the cheek and headed inside. Connor shook hands with Dr. Haas and glanced one last time in the direction of his Mother's room before going down the hall in hopes to call people and give them the good news and text Henry and Nat to chat, trying to avoid having to see them.

He wasn't ready, he didn't want them to see him like that. It would worry Natalie and put more pressure on Henry to try and be the perfect friend. Instead, he texted them and said he'd probably see them Monday.

* * *

"Chris?" Cindy found her husband washing the dishes after dinner Saturday night as the kids got ready in the living room to watch a movie. "Honey, everything okay?"

Henry peeked his head their way and Hermann asked him to keep an eye on his siblings as he led his wife to the laundry room.

"What's wrong?" Hermann reached to the back of the washing machine and got out a leather folder. One he'd hidden as soon as he got home. "What's this?"

"Open it." He said, Cindy eyed him curiously but did it anyway.

"She doesn't have a lot of time baby…" Chris said as she read it. "I just told her I had to talk about it with you before we made any decisions…"

"He has a father Chris…"

"Yeah, a crappy one." He huffed. "He cannot possibly care for him, have you met him? What kind of man do you think Connor will become if he raises him?"

"He's not a little kid Chris, and let's face it, we cannot give Connor the life he's used to and what about Claire?"

"They don't have to move in with us, this is just in the worst case scenario…"

"Which is?"

"That Rhodes thinks too much of himself and neglects them."

"You honestly think he'd do that?"

"You don't know him like I do Cin…"

"Yes I do and he is still their father Chris, even if he's not around...he needs those kids, because as much as we hate to admit it, he's going lose his wife too."

"Like he cares…" Chris huffed.

"Maybe not, but his kids are the one thing he can control, he'll never let go of that power."

"Then we'll fight him…"

"Chris, listen to yourself, we have the kids to think about, 6 of them… or have you forgotten?"

"Of course not, but Cindy, I have to do something, I owe it to Lizzie to try and make sure those kids are alright. Connor's still Henry's best friend."

"I know."

"And our godson."

Henry was the oldest of 6, it wasn't a coincidence he knew how to listen in on his parent's conversations, especially when he'd seen his father rattled up after coming home from the hospital the day before and he was sure to have something to do with Elizabeth.

" _I know_."

"Then we should do it."

Henry heard his Mom sigh, "It's not that easy Chris. There's a lot of people involved here."

"Just...think about it?"

"Alright. Fine. But I'm not making any promises."

"Alright, I love you, you know?"

Henry backed away when he heard his Mom give a quiet laugh, at least they wouldn't start _the_ argument now.

But he couldn't quite get his head around it.

 _Did Elizabeth want them to adopt Connor?_

 _Getting him a car was one thing, asking them to take in her son was a whole other ball game._

* * *

Sarah was sitting at her desk in her room on Saturday morning, her phone turned off. She had been sent a link to a blog page that _someone_ had created dedicated to taunting her. Quotes from anonymous people were posted.

 _She's such a nerd._

 _Stop trying to act like you're smarter than everyone else._

 _If you spend lunch in the library then you definitely don't have friends._

She couldn't stop reading them, so she turned her phone off after telling Connor she had to study.

Her boyfriend was on a high ever since he was told that Elizabeth had turned a corner and as everything was going to plan, she would be home on Monday. It was so nice to hear the happiness in Connor's voice again.

James had taken Jason out for the day. "Sarah?" Her Mom called.

"Yeah?" Sarah called back as she read the same line from her textbook for the fifth time.

"You have visitors."

That made Sarah sit up and push herself away from the desk and she left the room and descended the stairs.

She kind of hoped it wasn't Connor. She knew he had seen her at home before but after reading all those posts about how ugly she was, she really didn't want him to see her in all her messy glory.

"Will and Jay are here to see you." Her Mom said as Sarah looked around her to see the Halstead brothers standing in the doorway.

"Oh hi guys...did I miss a study session?" She racked her brain, maybe she had promised them and forgotten.

"No." Will shook his head with a smile. "You have too much school on the brain Reese."

"We just thought we'd come by and see you. I said we hadn't caught up in a while." Jay added.

"So what do you say Reese? I finally dragged this guy away from Erin for a few hours, we were thinking of going to the rink, you can watch me put him through his paces."

Jay both blushed and shoved his elbow into his brother's ribs. "What he means to say is that _I_ got _him_ away from Nina and we thought with Connor at the hospital, we could hang out." Jay said, "If you're allowed." He sent her Mom his sweetest smile.

Sarah knew Susan couldn't say no, Jason still mentioned Jay regularly.

"Sure, but be back before 6 okay? Jason will be back before then." her Mom told her.

So she ended up in Will's car that was making more bangning sounds than the last time.

The brothers were oddly silent and it was beginning to make Sarah feel uncomfortable.

"So...how are you guys?"

"Sarah…" Will frowned at the road.

"We don't want you to think we're trying to ambush you or something…" Jay put in.

"No, exactly...it's just we're worried." Will said as he pulled into the rink's parking lot.

"Yeah, we've been your bus buddies since your first day." Jay said as he leaned forward from the backseat. "It's kind of our job.

"Worried about what?"

"You. I know we've been awol lately but something's up." Will said.

"Is it Connor? Is he treating you right?" Jay jumped in. Sarah bit back a smile. Apparently they were never going to trust Connor all that much. She appreciated the concern though.

"No, Connor's great." She said, hoping to avoid further probing.

"But you've been avoiding the cafeteria, leaving school quickly, and not even putting your hand up in class anymore." Jay laid all her behaviour out in front of her like she was a puzzle to solve, like he was trying to form a coherent argument.

"So…" She shrugged, "I need to study more and classes are harder, I don't know all the answers." It might have sounded like the truth if hadn't said it so harshly.

"Is someone bothering you?" Will asked quietly. Sarah was pretty sure she had stopped breathing. She wanted to tell anyone who thought Will Halstead was just some happy-go-lucky guy was completely wrong, he was smarter than anyone knew.

"No." Her voice wobbled.

"Sarah, you can tell us. We're here for you, you know?" Jay smiled softly.

"It's stupid. It's nothing."

"It's not nothing, if you're upset." Will interjected.

"I know we haven't been great friends lately but you can still trust us. Is it someone in school?"

"Is it Noah? Because I'll fight him for you. I haven't gotten in trouble in a while, Mr Charles will start to think there's something wrong." Will tried to joke.

"Is it Ava?" Jay asked and Sarah's chest constricted. Because they would know now and think she was being ridiculously stupid.

Jay narrowed his eyes, "I mean, I knew she was never the nicests person, she wasn't even nice to you on the bus the first morning… but this is so wrong. You should tell someone."

Always seeking justice, Jay was.

Will butted in when Sarah felt like she was going to have a heart attack, how could she just drop that into conversation with Mr Charles when he was talking about moving her up a grade? "You don't have to tell, but you have to talk to us. You can't deal with this alone Sarah. No one should be bothering you."

"It's stupid, it's just messages...I'm not smart or I'm too smart. Or I'm not pretty or Connor is delusional or I have no friends...it doesn't matter."

She didn't mean to start crying.

"Hey, it's going to be okay. You have us on your side remember? And Connor would be definitely delusional not to date you and well screw her, she's just jealous she's not as smart as you. We'll get you through this Sarah." Will said, "We're family."

Sarah blinked the tears away as she was wrapped in a Halstead sandwich.

They really cared for her, Sarah never thought that would be possible when she first arrived to Chicago.

She had a good time with them afterwards, Will kicking Jay's butt in the ice. "You and Connor should play again, I'm sure he'd still give you a run for your money big brother." Jay said to annoy Will.

Sarah laughed. "Oh yeah, do that Reese. Laugh."

"Sorry."

"Nope. it's actually good to hear it. Should we go get ice cream then, kids? I'm buying."

"In this cold?" Sarah said.

"Best time of the year for it." Will mused. "Come on."

* * *

Sunday went by in a blur for Sarah as she got to spend time with her Mom and Jason without James.

But her late night call with Connor actually made her feel a little bit anxious about the next day but she wasn't going to let him in on that. She'd actually been avoiding him so he wouldn't discover what was going on at school but she wasn't sure how much longer she could pretend everything was okay.

"So, I'll just settle my Mom at home." Connor explained the logistics of him skipping yet another day of school, but thankfully, between her and Henry and Nat, they hadn't let him slack off. Like they'd promised Elizabeth.

"Good."

"Just in time for Valentine's Day." Sarah's heart sank."Sarah? Are you there?"

"Yeah, sorry my Mom is calling me… I need to go."

"Oh, okay."

"Give your Mom a hug for me?" Sarah said.

"I will. You still have to come over next week, she'll never forgive me if I fail Downey's test."

"Of course I will."

"Hey Sarah? I love you."

"I… I love you too."

She hung up. She had never been in such a hurry to get off the phone with him and she hated herself for it.

"What's gotten into you?" Claire asked as Connor stared at his phone. "Ah, Sarah's not too excited about you coming back to school?" His sister joked. He looked up at her.

"I honestly don't know, she… she sounded strange."

"Strange how?"

"Like she was avoiding something?" Connor sighed as Claire joined him on the couch.

"Maybe she's got your Valentine's Day gift and doesn't want you to find out about it?"

"Maybe…"

"You know that girl is crazy about you, right?" Claire bumped his shoulder to try and make him feel better.

"Honestly, so am I."

"Aww, my little brother is not so little anymore."

Connor smiled. "I guess not."

* * *

Monday began with James announcing he'd be gone for the week so the kids would have to take the bus, for which Jason made some comment about Jay and Will and he sounded happy about it.

Sarah walked Jason to class, only to be met by Will and Jay as she was making her way back.

"So, how was Sunday?" Jay asked casually as they both walked side by side with her.

"Okay. Yours?"

"Finally fixed that sound the valve kept making, pretty soon we'll be able to drive it to school." Will commented, warming up his hands together.

"Really? Jason will be sad about that." Sarah replied.

"Oh well, we can always give you guys a ride. Your Mom seems okay with it anyway." Sarah wasn't sure if Susan would allow Jason into Will's car though because she didn't even liked the few times Connor had driven them home, even though Jason had said he'd liked it.

There was a thing about cars and boys and her Mom. They talked about the rest of their weekend although the brothers seemed to not ask her about Ava again, they already knew and were ready to defend her if necessary.

Sarah had class with the juniors so Jay said their goodbyes to them and walked the other way, Will kept the small talk until they met Nina by the classroom's door.

"There you are, hey Sarah."

"Hi." She said with a kind smile. Nina pecked Will on the lips and Sarah felt herself glancing over at Connor's empty seat.

Until she saw Doris and Ava arriving too, she then slipped into her seat next to Henry who had just gotten there.

"Hey, so Nat offered her house so we could study. Nate's got a game so it will be just us, my house is a little crowded."

"Sounds good." Sarah smiled. Will shot the both of them a look as he took his seat and Downey began class.

The rest of the day was uneventful as she had blocked the private number and she was waiting for a text from Connor about his mom being brought home. Plus, between Jay and the other juniors she was never left alone.

Time came for her to take the bus with Jason again and he was quite happy to find himself in the seat beside Jay like old times, plus, Ava seemed to have gotten a car so she didn't take the bus anymore. It was honestly a good time for Sarah to take a breather and relax as she saw her brother ask Jay and Will some questions, some about the older's Halstead girlfriend who sat on the other side of the aisle.

"Do you kiss and are not married like Connor and Sarah?" the little boy perked up, Will and Nina glanced at each other. "Grandma says it's what big kids do before they have to get married."

"Uh…" Sarah shot them both an apologetic glance. "Well, we're not married. No" Nina said. "But I guess we are like Connor and Sarah in a way."

"Connor hasn't come to school in a week because his Mom is sick." Jason went on, seemingly happy with the answer. "I made her a card and she wrote me back. Want to see?" Jason took out a small piece of paper from his bag. "Sarah says she's better now."

"He misses Connor huh?" Nina asked Sarah as Jason turned to ask Jay something.

"Almost as much as me I think." Sarah admitted shyly.

"Well I for one think you are adorable." Nina said with a smile.

"Whose adorable?" Jay asked.

"Connor and Sarah." Both brothers looked at each other.

"So, not us but them?" Will mused.

"Do you want us to be adorable?" Nina inquired. "We can be."

"Awww." Jay joked, earning a glare from his brother and a muffled laugh from Sarah.

"It is definitely good to see you laugh Reese, even if it's of me."

* * *

Sarah had told Sisan that she was going to Natalie's house to study. She wasn't sure but she had a feeling that her Mom knew something was up and didn't even put up a fight for her to stay home. Henry came to pick her up in his car, that was still as clean and shiny as the day Elizabeth had gotten it for him.

"So it's good news about Elizabeth huh?" Henry grinned as he drove her to Nat's.

"Yeah it really is."

"Thanks for coming over this evening. We have that Chem test on Wednesday that I am so not looking forward to."

"You'll be fine."

"That's what you say. Antonio is on my back to keep my grades up, reckons I could have a chance at a scholarship next year with hockey but I need to look good all around."

"Is that what you want to do ? Play hockey?"

"It would make my Dad so happy." Henry smiled wistfully.

"Would it make _you_ happy?"

"I think so." He pulled over into Nat's driveway. "Connor and Nat have always been the smart ones, I'm just the drifter you know? And I guess I have a diner to run and we still have my brothers and sisters to get through school."

"You're a really good guy Henry."

"Ah." He waved off her compliment as they got out of the car. "Come on in."

Sarah was still sort of amazed by it, as she watched Nat open the door and saw that the other two still wore their bracelets on their wrists. Sarah instinctively reached for her own.

They got down to study pretty quickly, stopping to make some pasta.

"Oh I got a call from Connor, his Mom is asleep and Kelly is happy with her progress." Nat said as she got some plates ready.

"Oh good I'm glad." Sarah said and Henry agreed.

"You'll never guess though," Nat all but snorted, " _Ava_ and her Mom called over to _see how Elizabeth was_ …can that girl be more of a gold digger? She thinks she has Connor in the palm of her hand because she has some big trust fund too."

Sarah dropped the glass she was holding almost as soon as she heard Ava's name.

"You okay Sarah?" Henry asked, concern etched on his face as they got about clearing up the broken glass.

She just nodded and apologised for the mess.

They were half way through eating when Henry kept opening his mouth to say something and then would close it and shake his head as if rethinking his words over and over again. It was driving Sarah mad.

"Are things okay Sarah?"

"Yeah, the pasta's great Henry thanks."

He smiled softly, "Thanks, but I meant with you?"

"Have you been talking to Will?" Sarah shot in reflex.

"Will? What does he have to do with anything?" Nat asked, worry in her voice.

"Nothing." Sarah tried to back track. "It's nothing."

"Okay, well, it's definitely not nothing." Natalie said, "What's going on?"

If she wasn't so desperate to hide her weakness she would have thought it was sweet. She seemed to have gained two sets of friends that were trying to intervene with her. Maybe they did care after all.

But was she honestly ready to tell Connor's best friends about what had been happening?

"Sarah, you can tell us." Natalie said. She offered the younger girl a smile.

"I.." Sarah bit her lip. "I can't…"

"Why not?" Henry asked worriedly.

"Because it has something to do with Connor, doesn't it?" Nat replied as Sarah froze. "Come here." They led Sarah to the couch. "See that bracelet?"

Sarah nodded. "Well here's the thing about those. We can only give them away to one person. That's part of the deal." Sarah raised an eyebrow. "I didn't even give mine to Jeff and he's the baby's father."

"What Natalie means Sarah is that. You can trust us. Doesn't matter if Connor is our friend, you are too."

"It's Ava, isn't it?" Natalie inquired as Sarah's eyes began to water. "Oh honey, what did she do?"

* * *

Sarah didn't want to get up for school Tuesday. Not even because Connor was coming back, but she had to, only to not alert Jason about it.

So she went on the bus, sat beside Will and watched her brother and Jay talk.

Routine was good, because of routine, she could pretend.

Until she would have to face Connor. He'd read her right away.

That was the main reason she had been avoiding seeing him after things had gotten a turn for the worst.

Henry and Natalie walked over to their first class of the day, Connor had said he was running late.

It was then when they met Will and strangely Jay by the door.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Henry asked the brothers.

"We were waiting for Sarah, have you seen her?"

"Sarah? No, wasn't she on the bus with you?"

"Was, but she stayed behind at Jason's building. We figured she'd be here by now." Will said, he shared a glance with Natalie.

"You know." Natalie said. She could never fail to read Will.

"Yeah. We know."

"Maybe we should talk to Mr. Charles, I honestly don't know how he hasn't noticed." Jay huffed.

"Because Sarah knows how to pretend, she's dealt with this before."

"Yeah, I mean we didn't know either." Henry said embarrassed.

"Still think we should tell someone." Jay added.

"Sarah would never forgive us." Natalie said.

"That doesn't change the fact that Reese isn't here."

"And she's never late."

"Connor is just getting to school, maybe they met somewhere?" Natalie offered.

"Guys?" A familiar voice said behind them. "Have you seen Sarah? I keep texting her but she's not… Natalie was the first one to turn around and face him. "What's going on?"

* * *

 **Awww poor Sarah... wondering how Connor's going to react when he finds out the truth! Thanks for reading you guys, this is the longest chapter yet!**


	30. Chapter 30

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 30**

"Nothing." Henry said, sweeping in beside Natalie.

"We haven't seen her." Will said "She had to go drop Jason off as usual."

"Yeah that's where I went to meet her but Jason was already in…"

"Don't know…does she have her meeting with Mr Charles this morning?" Jay asked.

Connor shot him a look, he didn't know they were public knowledge. What?" He held his hands up in defense, "I am her friend you know?"

Soon enough, Mr Stohl came around, hurrying everyone into school before the bell rang. "Well I hate to interrupt your important meeting but get to class." He said with his usual sour expression, mumbling about unintelligent teenagers as he left.

The group quickly dispersed into the hallways for their first class, keeping an eye out for Sarah. Connor was glad to see her come into Downey's class, hurrying with a note and handing it to the teacher.

"Take your seat Miss Reese." Downey said and Sarah did as she was told, smiling at her boyfriend as she went.

The class dragged on as everyone kept dreading the test they would have on Friday, even Sarah was struggling with keeping up because of her worrying about Ava, but she couldn't let that on, Connor was back and her friends kept an eye on her it seemed.

She had to keep her head up.

She and Connor walked to lunch together later that day as he asked her about Jason and the possibility of making up his absence of the week before by taking the little boy somewhere.

Sarah would have to ask her Mom, but her weariness over Connor hadn't disappeared completely so she would have to be smart about it.

"Something on your mind?" Her boyfriend asked. "Did everything go okay with Mr. Charles?" Sarah had to tell him something, so she did, the only thing she knew he wouldn't question. "Yeah, he just wanted to update me on Jason's progress."

"Oh, how's he doing?"

"Great actually. Better than they expected." Well, it wasn't a lie. He'd told her that before, she was just passing the information along.

"Well, all he needed was a chance and a good school, right?"

"Much like you." She replied with a smile and he grinned back. Mr. Charles had had his own meetings with Connor in the last couple of months and seemed pleased by the fact he was finally fitting in at Gaffney and staying out of trouble.

And he had Sarah to thank for that.

* * *

"I hate Valentine's Day." Nat announced as she walked with Sarah to their next class on February 14th, which had fallen on a Wednesday.

Sarah seemed happier, but she hadn't said anything, Natalie just hoped it meant that Ava was leaving her alone.

"Are you not doing anything with Jeff?" Sarah asked hesitantly.

"No…" Natalie said, "He says his parents have him under some strict curfew or something. Doesn't matter, I'm going to keep Henry company at Molly's. He acts all tough but he gets lonely sometimes."

"Well that's nice of you, you'll have a great time."

"Not as good as you, Miss I've got a Valentine's Date with my boyfriend." Natalie laughed. For the past few days she and Connor had been struggling on what to do, Sarah, honestly, was fretting more over what to wear. Still, she was glad he was back and seemingly happy.

 _Seemingly being the key word._

The day dragged by in a blur of sickeningly sweet gestures of love and far too much PDA for Natalie's liking, she was glad for school to be over.

She got a ride to Molly's with Henry who played his 'Anti-Valentines Day' playlist. They weren't the happiest duo, with her moping over Jeff and Henry over Claire, even if he wouldn't admit it too much.

Even Molly's was covered in heart decorations. It was nearly enough to bring back her nausea.

"Chris, what are you doing with the place?" She lamented as she drowned her sorrows in her milkshake.

"Ah ya got to love love kid." He just grinned and went about his business. It was easy for him to say.

He didn't have some confusing feelings about boys on top having to deal with the hormones of her pregnancy.

Henry was just as bad as her, Natalie mused as she watched him jump every time the door opened making her stare at it, as if urging Claire to appear.

The Halstead brothers showed up instead later on. They both smiled the same, and stopped at her table, taking seats, "Hey Nat's what's up?"

"Not much." She shrugged as she dug into her ice cream sundae. Not the best diet, but her excuse was that she was eating for two.

Jay was practically bouncing in his seat, "What about you?" She asked with a grin.

"Oh me? Oh well I have to wait for Erin and then we're going to the movies." She was glad someone was looking forward to the evening, although in truth, she was nearly scared to ask Will if he had plans.

She was friendly with Nina in the broadest sense, they had some classes together and had grown up together but had never been friends. And now, well Nat didn't know what to think.

She couldn't want Will, she had Jeff, but she wasn't sure that she liked Will dating someone else.

The feeling didn't sit well with her.

"Are you doing anything nice tonight?" Jay asked lightly.

Natalie swallowed her ice cream heavily, "Eh, no, Jeff has a thing with his little sister.."

"Hey I can hang for a while if you want?" Will offered with his easy smile. "Nina has a family thing too and said she'd text me once it's over so we can go out, but I'm free until then."

She hated that it felt like she was his second best.

She hated being jealous.

But she appreciated the gesture of friendship, they had been on rocky ground since he found out she was pregnant.

"Yeah, I'd like that." She smiled.

"Hey, here's another two of my hockey team." Chris said as he ambled over, "What can I get you kids?"

"I think Jay will stick with soda, he's more nervous tonight than before our games." Will smirked, earning himself a kick from his little brother.

"Nah, you got talent kid, I'll make a hockey player out of you." Chris grinned and Natalie hid her smile in her ice cream, looked like Chris had gotten himself a new project.

"Really?" Her heart broke at Jay's enthusiasm.

"Yeah, come by some evening, I've got some plays I'll go over with you."

"Thanks Herrmann." Jay looked as if all his Christmas' had come at once.

"Can I have a burger and fries?" Will asked, "I'll be here a while."

The boys chatted about hockey, which apparently was even more important than Will's car which was saying something until Henry came down with their orders."Hey Jay, is that Erin?"

The entire group turned around to see a girl with short dark blonde hair and a leather jacket enter the diner, looking around.

"Yeah." Jay all but jumped out of his seat and nearly tripped over his own feet to get to her. Natalie kept her hand firmly on Will's arm that was resting on the table, "Let him have his moment... don't go embarrassing him." She warned heavily.

"But that's what I do!" Will argued.

"Just not today." Natalie said when she saw the biggest smile on Jay's face as he hugged Erin hello and quickly, and cleverly, ducked out of the diner.

Will got through an ice cream sundae and Natalie had a Molly's milkshake before she even realised it was dark outside. They were catching up on each other's lives. How Nat was dealing with her parents, how things were with Will's Dad and how school was going. Will was applying for a part time job to fund the running of his car and Natalie was already picking out baby clothes.

It seemed that even though their worlds couldn't be more different, they still got each other.

She was sad when she realised that they had been there all evening and Chris and Henry and the other staff were closing up, she had to go home.

Will stood up and shrugged on his jacket.

"Did Nina not get away from her family thing?" Natalie asked, trying to sound sad about it.

"Oh.." Will said, rummaging in his pockets and finding his cell phone. "Crap, I never thought to check, it was on silent…" He cringed, "I missed a few messages from her."

"Oh, you should go." She said, standing up abruptly.

"Yeah, I better go grovel right?" He said, "But hey, thanks for a good evening, I liked catching up."

She was going to respond to him but the world started spinning around her. She didn't know what was up and she reached for the table to steady herself only to miss and feel Will catch her instead.

"Hey Nat, you okay?" Will's voice broke through the panic cursing through his blood.

"...I...I don't know…" She gripped the hand he had placed over hers, "I feel weak, and dizzy...Will, what if it's the baby?" She cried, trying to close her eyes and make the dizziness fade.

"Natalie, don't panic okay? Everything's going to be fine. If that baby is anything like you, it'll be tough okay?" Will told her as he held her around the waist and guided her back into a chair. When she managed to open her eyes he was crouching down in front of her, still holding her hand.

"Natalie, darlin' you feeling okay?"

Natalie shook her head but that only made her feel worse.

"She feels weak Herrmann, she stood up and nearly fell over."

"I shouldn't feel weak, after eating sugar all evening...it has to be the baby, what if there's something wrong and I did something…." She was pretty sure this was what hyperventilating felt like.

"Okay kid, don't worry, these things happen all the time, it's probably nothing, but we'll get you to the hospital okay? Get you checked out." Chris said as he got his keys out and told Henry to take care of the place.

Will helped her to stand up again and she let herself lean into him, afraid of getting weak again.

"I've been reading the pregnancy books, it could be diabetes or low blood pressure and that's bad for the baby…."

"Don't go there kid, believe me, Cindy had a lot of scares just like this and they turned out to be nothing."

Will led her out to Chris' car and she got in, not letting go of his hand.

He let go when she had her seatbelt done and Chris had started the engine and she turned her head too quickly to look for him. "You're not coming with me?"

"Hop in Halstead." Chris said and Natalie could relax just a fraction. Will hopped into the backseat, leaning his hand forward so she could hold it.

Chris had her parents on loud speaker to let them what was happening but it just made everything worse. They were worrying too.

"Hey, everything's going to be okay." Will said quietly into her ear.

The car was silent after Chris the call ended as they sped along to the hospital. The lights were bright against the dark city streets. Every turn felt like it was tipping the world a little more and Natalie didn't think she had ever been so scared.

Getting into the ED felt like a blur, but Will was there, her anchor in the storm. Chris led the way and got her a chair as they took their place in the que. Will held her hand as they waited for her parents. When they finally arrived, Nat's head was beginning to clear somewhat.

She got a bed in the ED where the doctors started assessing her, running blood tests and asking her what felt like endless questions, but she still couldn't bring herself to let go of Will's hand. Chris and her parents had been through pregnancy before and kept telling her not to worry. But this was daunting. And Will was the only one who didn't make it feel like he was talking down to her, like he was on her side.

"You comfortable?" He asked for the tenth time in ten minutes.

"I'm good, thanks Will." She said.

Her parents stepped outside to follow up with the doctors. "Hey, Nat, you know no matter what, I'm here for you right?" Will said, "I know I've been a crappy friend lately, but I'm here for you. Always."

"Thank you Will."

"Natalie?" At the sound of the other voice at the door, Will's grip on her hand went slack.

"Jeff?"

"Hey." He said, hovering by the door. "Halstead." Natalie didn't miss the venom in his voice as she took her hand away from Will's. Her head was now hurting. She didn't have a choice between them. She had picked Jeff time and time again and Will had a girlfriend, so why did it feel like she was making the wrong choice?

"I'll go see where your parents are." Will said, standing up.

The doctor came into the room, causing Jeff to move to her bedside. "Natalie…eh…" She seemed to look to the two boys.

"You can tell me what's wrong, they're okay." She reassured the doctor, she didn't want to wait any longer.

"Hold up, he doesn't get to hear anything, I'm this baby's father." Jeff declared.

It was all she had ever wanted to hear, for Jeff to finally accepting it. _So why did it feel hollow when Will kept his gaze to the floor and left the room?_

* * *

Connor was fidgeting with his phone as Katie knocked on his door. He was meant to pick up Sarah in less than an hour. "Connor? What are you still doing here?"

"In my room?" He joked. Katie knew him too well though. "I didn't know I wasn't supposed to."

"Ah, I keep forgetting you are a teenager. Aren't you supposed to be meeting Sarah soon?"

"Yeah, it's a school night so her Mom made me promise not to drop her off too late."

"More to my point."

Connor sighed. "Right, I should go." He grabbed on his jacket and a small box from his desk.

"Okay, no, talk to me. Something is going on in that head of yours. What is it?"

"Mom…" He admitted. His father had promised to make it up to Elizabeth as soon as he got back to Chicago that weekend but that wasn't enough for Connor. "She's here alone while Cornelius is god knows where."

"Connor, honey…" Katie smiled sweetly at him. "Don't you worry about her. Claire's staying home and so am I."

"So… no plans with Rudy?"

"Not tonight. Like you said, is a school night." Katie smiled again. "He says he's got big plans for us Saturday, and all. You go and enjoy." He nodded and hugged his nanny. She didn't have children, all she had were him and Claire.

And Rudy, her husband who actually happened to work for Cornelius too in one of the Dolen-Rhodes stores.

Connor wondered why they never had children, but she had always told him that as far as she was concerned, him and Claire were the closest they had to kids but he figured it was because they had gotten married pretty late. He'd remembered going to her wedding a few years back.

Connor knocked on Elizabeth's door as she and Claire prepared for their Valentine's Day celebration.

"There he is, let me look at you." His mother called. He was wearing a dark sweater and brown pants, his sneakers were as good matched as the rest of his clothes. "What do you say Claire?"

"I'd say that my brother is one handsome kid and somehow he has more romance in his life than I do, which is a little sad." She laughed. "Does Sarah know where you guys are going?"

"Nope."

"Well, I don't know how you are going to top Hamilton but good luck." Connor rolled his eyes at Claire. "Go. You don't want to keep a girl waiting…."

"Connor?" His mother called again, making him turn on his heels. "Not too late, alright?"

"Nine."

"That's a good boy." A sad smile appeared on his face as he turned his back and closed the door behind him. His mind still reeling over his mother and Cornelius.

* * *

Sarah kept staring at herself in the mirror, just to see if she looked okay. After the week she'd had, all her insecurities, the ones her boyfriend kept assuring her weren't important kept flooding back.

The bell rang and she heard noises downstairs, her brother probably, she was sure he was telling Connor the good news of them going to the aquarium. Ah yes, she had convinced her Mom to let she and Connor take Jason out.

She had even said Mr. Charles had recommended it, to allow him to go to public places more often and she was glad Susan didn't think twice about it. It was only Wednesday though but Sarah knew Jason wouldn't let it go.

Sarah grabbed her phone and saw a notification, she knew it was a text but ignored it as she made her way downstairs. "Sarah, Connor said he's taking me to see the sharks at the aquarium." Jason announced as soon as she was in sight.

"Oh, he did?" She beamed.

"Yep." Jason said. "But I have to keep earning stickers like Mary said, right Mom?"

"Right." Susan replied. "So, how about you go upstairs to your room? I'll be up in a minute." Jason nodded, as Connor said his goodbyes.

"So, rules…" Susan Reese stared at her child's boyfriend and as they walked to the car, she went on talking about curfew and how they had to drive carefully because of the weather.

When the drilling was over and they were already getting in, Sarah let out a sigh. "She'll never let it go, will she?" Connor didn't reply. He noticed she was more defensive than usual.

"We just have to do as we're told and it will blow over." Connor said kindly.

"Since when do you do what you are told?" She inquired playfully. Another throw off. Maybe it was the fact she had had a test of being rebellious but she didn't even sounded like herself...

"When it comes to your Mom, I do." He said with a small smile. Sarah bit her lip. "What?"

"Nothing, we better go, she's serious about 8:30 and we have a test tomorrow."

"It's the easiest one…"

"Really?" She glanced up at him. He was in fact good in English.

"Yep." He kept trying to make her feel better but he seemed to be failing. He had never seemed to until tonight though and that worried him. "You look beautiful by the way." He beamed at her matching black and violet dress.

She wasn't a dress kind of girl and that was completely okay, but she looked nice.

"Thank you." She replied shyly. "Do you mean it?" She added after a moment.

"What?" He asked curiously as he began to pull away. "That you look beautiful? Of course."

"So, I just look beautiful, right?"

"What?"

"But I'm not?" Connor wasn't prepared for that, but he kept his ground. "So, I should dress up more? I guess I could be more girly like my Mom has always wanted me to be."

"Sarah, what are you talking about?" He asked. "Of course you are beautiful, you are the most beautiful, smart, and kind girl I know. What's this about?"

"Nothing…"

"This is not nothing…." Connor didn't want to freak out. Tonight was meant to be their first Valentine's Day together and he was trying to make it special, but somehow, his words had made her upset, not nervous or shy as usual.

He stopped the car. "Sarah, look at me, what's going on?"

"You know maybe this wasn't a good idea... " She said avoiding his gaze. "Maybe we should just call it off."

"Hey, no…" He turned on his seat and reached for her face, leaning his forehead against hers. Sarah didn't want to look him in the eye because she knew it meant to be a losing battle but she did anyway and crashed her lips into his. Connor wasn't expecting this to be her next move obviously, especially when she deepened the kiss and pulled him closer to her. Usually Sarah was the shy one, the one to be in daze of the kissing or maybe he was better at pretending that his girlfriend didn't make him weak in the knees, but tonight it seemed she wasn't herself, she was trying to be, someone else, someone like… Ava.

"Sarah, wait. Stop." He grabbed her hands and pulled away and she froze. "This isn't like you."

"You didn't like that?"

"Of course I did but.."

"But?"

"Something is going on with you, please talk to me?"

"Nothing is going on. I just thought you'd like it that I wasn't so shy."

"I like you just the way you are. Why would you want to change anything?"

Sarah pulled her face away. "Because you won't like me anymore." He didn't know what to say. He froze on the spot as Sarah's eyes began to water.

"Sarah Reese, look at me." He said, firmly but sweetly. "I like you just the way you are, you hear? You are the most important person in my life. The one that makes sense to me in all the mess. You don't have to change for me." He leaned to kiss her again, but just her forehead. Sarah couldn't fight it anymore. She had been playing pretend for a day and a half and even weeks before that, but if there was one person that could read her, that was Connor.

"I'm sorry. I just thought what maybe if I was more mature..." She stopped. "I'd be a better girlfriend."

"Sarah, you don't have to prove anything to me. The main reason I fell for you was because you weren't trying to pretend to be someone else so I would like you. I didn't have to be Connor Rhodes. I could be just Connor." She looked into his eyes. "There's something else going on, isn't it?"

Her phone buzzed but she ignored it and Connor noticed. "Is it your Mom?"

"Probably." She assured him sighing and pushing her phone away. "Can we please go? I really don't want to ruin tonight…"

Connor smiled softly and brushed his thumb over her cheek. "Okay." He focused back on the road, not letting go of her hand. "But you know I'm here, right?"

"I know."

He didn't want to push, he just hoped she trusted him enough to tell him when she was ready. They were halfway through their date in the park when Connor got a text from Henry about Natalie. "We should go." Sarah told him as they cut the night short.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, it's Natalie." She squeezed his hand as they made it back to the car and drove over to the hospital, Sarah had texted her Mom about Natalie and promised to be home as soon as she was sure her friend was alright.

* * *

"What, no… I ruined your totally romantic date?" Natalie said as she saw her friends by her door. She had now been transferred into a private room. Her parents and Chris were still around but had gone down the cafeteria.

"You didn't…" Sarah said with a smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Stupid. I have been stressing about school a bit too much, I'm sure my parents are going to force that tutor on me now." Natalie said pouting as Sarah sat beside her.

Connor rested his back on the wall, his eyes catching Will's figure far away. "When are you going home?"

"Tomorrow, probably, I'll be fine, the doctors just want to make sure everything is okay." She said.

"I'm going to go get some coffee, you want anything?" He asked Sarah.

"M&M's?" She asked, sounding childlike which made a small smile appear on Connor's face.

"Make that two?"

"Coming up." He said, leaving the room. As soon as he was out of sight Nat turned to Sarah.

"Why does it seem like you are relieved he's gone?"

Sarah froze. "He knows."

"About Ava?"

"Not exactly, but he knows something is going on… he, he just has this way of reading me and I don't...I don't know what to do."

"How about being honest with him? I know he's Connor and he's likely to take it too personal, but…"

"I tried to be more like her. Like Ava." Natalie raised an eyebrow as Sarah interrupted her. "And made it worse, I'm sure of it."

"If I know Connor, the one thing he hates is being lied to, you saw what happened with his Mom and Dad, You need to tell him Sarah."

* * *

Connor walked over to the end of the hallway to where Will Halstead stood. "I don't know why I'd imagined you'd be here." Connor said, imitating him and leaning over.

"I was with Nat at Molly's when it happened." Will said. "And, I'm her friend."

"Of course you are." Connor mused.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Will asked.

Connor turned to eye him carefully. "Jeff's here too." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah, and I should go, I'm pretty sure Nina will be pretty pissed at me for missing our date speaking of which Reese mentioned you two were going out tonight."

"Sarah's with Nat." Connor said.

"Oh, good." Will actually sounded relieved, he and Jay genuinely seemed to care for Sarah. The two boys stayed silent for a moment.

"I could use some coffee." Connor said and Will eyed him.

"I guess." He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked beside Connor to the cafeteria.

"So where's Jeff?" Connor asked.

"No idea, I've been dodging him. I know I should probably go home but I can't bring myself to leave, I just…"

"Care too much?" Will gave Connor a small nod.

Another gap of silence. "Do you ever wonder about it?" Will spoke, the two of them facing the coffee machine. "What you would do if you were in that position I mean?"

Connor didn't look up. "Having a baby at our age?" Yeah, I guess." He shrugged.

Will nodded. "Just so you know, Reese is like a little sister to me, so if you hurt her…"

"Same goes to you Halstead."

"Huh?"

"I know you are not just Natalie's friend. You have feelings for her."

Will froze, the hand holding the cup had stopped stirring. "I…"

"It's fine, just know, she's always going to have me to watch out for her."

They made it back to where the girls were, Jeff still hadn't come back from being with Nat's parents.

"Everything okay boys?" Sarah asked as she met them outside Nat's door.

"Fine."

"Yeah." Connor assured her. She eyed them both. "I should take you home, I just don't want to leave Nat alone." They saw Jeff and her parents and even Herrmann make their way over. Jeff eyed them both wearily.

Hermann came over to the trio. "Some Valentine's Day huh?" He said. "You all should head home. I'm staying for a little longer, don't worry."

They all nodded. "Hey Rhodes?"

"Yeah?"

"Mind giving me a ride? I left my car at Molly's."

"Sure." Connor said. "Let's go."

They made sure Jeff wasn't around when they had wanted to say goodbye to Nat a moment later. "You'd make sure they don't kill each other?" Natalie said to Sarah when she'd called her over and away from the other two.

"I have a feeling you are the one thing they can agree on." Sarah assured her. "But yeah, I'll make sure, don't you worry."

Natalie nodded. "And Sarah? Talk to him?" Sarah smiled as she followed Connor and Will outside, the temperature having dropped down dramatically suddenly reminding Sarah why she didn't wear dresses often. Connor opened the door for her and Will jumped into the backseat.

"Mind if I drop you off first? It's late." Connor said to his girlfriend sweetly. "We can make up for our date later?"

Yes, she agreed, Molly's was still further than her house. They didn't talk much on their way back, Will mostly kept texting on his phone, Sarah could see he was frustrated over Nina and really didn't want to hurt her, but to him Natalie would always come first.

Connor walked Sarah to her door. "Good night Connor…"

"Good night." He said touching her nose to make her relax. "Sorry about what happened."

"Why are you apologizing? I was the one dooming this from the start, I should be saying it to you, for the way I acted earlier."

Connor leaned to kiss her softly on the cheek. "I liked that kiss." He said sheepishly, remembering her to cheer her up. "Wouldn't mind another one?"

Sarah blushed but took a step forward to kiss him. "Happy Valentine's Day Sarah. Oh, I almost forgot." He added when they broke apart. "This is for you."

Her eyes widened when he took out a small box. "To match your necklace." He opened the leather package and revealed a silver bracelet.

"Connor, it's beautiful, thank you." She said as he put it on her naked wrist. "I have something for you too."

He smiled as she opened the door to her house, and grabbed on a box, making sure not to make noise. Thank Goodness she'd asked her Mom to laid it out for when she got home. "I know it's a little cold for it still but…" He opened the silver box to reveal a shiny new leather jacket. "Is it too much?"

"What are you talking about? No, I love it. Thank you." He grinned at her as he tried it on. "Perfect."

Sarah beamed. "You should go, don't keep Will waiting."

Connor sighed. "Right. I'll see you tomorrow?" She leaned her forehead against his as he kissed her again. "I love you Sarah."

She replied she did too and took a moment not wanting to let go of his hand. "Connor?" She spoke a moment later when he had almost reached the car, he turned on back instantly.

But she froze. "Nothing, it can wait, be safe?"

"Always."

He walked back to the car, where Will was already sitting in the passenger seat and drove away, still not being able to shake the odd feeling that something was going on, little did he know that he'd be reassured of it by Will of all people.

* * *

 **Valentine's Day didn't go as planned for the kiddos! And Sarah still hasn't told Connor the truth. Do you smell the drama?**

 **Don't forget to leave a review our way if you can :)**


	31. Chapter 31

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 31**

"Not the Valentines' Day we were all expecting huh?" Will mused as Connor pulled away and took the turn to Molly's.

He racked his brain for topics of conversation, obviously asking about his Mom wasn't an option, having been through that himself, Will knew that the less people prying too much, the better.

And now he could hardly talk about Natalie could he?

It seemed like everyone _but_ Natalie knew how he felt.

"So...things good with Sarah?"

Connor shot him a look and Will kicked himself for somehow putting his foot in it.

"Yeah...why?"

"No reason," He shrugged uncomfortably, "Just want to make sure you're treating her right."

"Everything's fine." Connor said adamantly. "How's Nina?"

"She'll be okay, I'll make it up to her."

"Good."

"Hey, are you still friends with Ava?" Okay, so nobody had ever said he had the same tact as Jay.

"...Why?"

Will shrugged, "Just that it was the best thing that happened to Nina, to get away from her."

"We're family friends, I can't really shake her off."

"I'd try harder man."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, I just mean it's best to stay away from her, anyway, thanks for the ride. See you in school." He got out of the car before he could say something he'd regret.

He wanted to help Sarah but it wasn't his secret to tell. He just hoped Connor wasn't too loyal to Ava, not with the way she was treating Reese.

"See you Rhodes."

* * *

"Hi Connor," Ava appeared at Connor's side as he got to school the next day, while he was trying to find Sarah in the crowd.

He didn't care if it was pathetic, he missed his girlfriend. Sure, he had seen her the day before, but with everything with his Mom going on, he just missed being with her, specially after just how their date had gone.

"Ava." He nodded and kept walking, while she fell into step beside him.

"So are you going to the Art Gala tomorrow night?"

 _The problem with being a Rhodes._

"Yes. Unfortunately."

"Oh come on Connor, it wasn't too long ago we were sneaking out from those events and having a blast."

"I'm a different person now Ava."

"Yeah, boring." She lamented, "But fine if you're so mature now, you can be my date. I hate being my parent's third wheel."

"I have a girlfriend Ava."

Ava snorted, "Yes but you also know what this crowd is like. There's no way you could turn up with Sarah on your arm. She doesn't know anything about _our_ world Connor."

It was true. There were certain expectations. He had his trust fund to protect and he'd have to keep his father happy.

But that didn't mean he had to go with Ava.

"I'm going by myself Ava, get someone else."

"Whatever, I'll see you there. You know you can't avoid me forever." She stalked off and Connor was all too glad.

 _Didn't belong in his world?_

Maybe Ava had been right all along. Even Connor had seemed to agree with her.

She had gotten him a stupid leather jacket when what he needed was probably new cufflinks for his tux or whatever high society things events required. Not that she would know. She had unfortunately been standing behind them as they were talking.

 _She was a novelty. Ava was right._

She was the placeholder. She was his high school fling and his whole life was probably mapped out for him and no matter how much he said he didn't like it, he'd probably follow it in the end. He had been brought up for it.

 _Ava would be the college girlfriend and endgame._

 _She, the non-rich, geek who was just an experiment._

"Sarah?" Maggie approached her from the door of the bathroom as the sophomore tried to hurriedly hide her tears. "Are you okay Sweetie?"

"I'm fine." Sarah sniffed.

"Uh huh. And I'm the principal of the school. Honey what's up?"

"It's nothing, just this girl is giving me a hard time but now I'm thinking at least half of what she says is actually true….and...and it hurts."

Maggie put her arm around Sarah, "Ava is one piece of work."

Sarah jumped, "How do you know?"

"I know everything." Maggie said as if it was obvious, "I just didn't know what exactly she was doing. Did you tell someone?"

"Yeah my friends, and Mr Charles who said he'd talk about it with Miss Goodwin."

"Well hey that's good, that's progress."

"But." Sarah hesitated, "What if Connor should be with her instead of me? What if she _is the better choice_?"

Maggie gave her a kind smile. "Connor likes you, Ava just likes rubbing off, she'll never get tired of the attention, have you tried talking to him?"

"No, that's what Natalie was saying too."

"She's a smart girl, you should listen to her."

* * *

The bell rang and Sarah stormed off to her class, English,which happened to be her test that day.

She went in and spotted Ethan sitting in the front. "You seem a bit out of breath there Sarah."

"I'm fine." She said as she stared at the door, everyone, including Ava began to come in, her phone buzzed in her pocket but she ignored it and just focused back on reviewing all she had just read on the way over.

Connor came in last with Henry, who sat beside Sarah, her boyfriend sent her a glance as he took a few seats to the back, the teacher eyeing him as he went. He couldn't talk to her now.

Sarah couldn't focus and the teacher seemed to notice. "Miss Reese? Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine." She assured the older man with a smile. She bit her lip and focused back on her paper. The rest of the test went by quicker than expected and she barely had time to finish.

"I hope I did okay, turns out having no plans helped me study a bit more." Henry said with a smile.

"That's good Henry.." She said, eyeing Connor as he came to their side after handing in his test. "How did you do?" She asked her boyfriend as he took her hand and and she grabbed it, holding on to it as if it was for dear life. As if she wouldn't be able to in the immediate future.

"Okay, I hope." He sighed.

"You said it was easy."

"It is, the only one I'm confident enough about I think."

"Tomorrow will be the death of us. We still up for studying later?" Henry asked hopefully.

"Of course."

"Awesome, oh there's Antonio, I've gotta go. See you guys?"

"See you Henry." Sarah smiled as he dashed off after his team captain. They were alone. "Come here." Connor said pulling her over to an empty classroom.

"Connor, I need to get to class and so do you."

"Just a sec. I've missed you."

"Oh yeah, Jason was having a rough morning." She ought to slap herself for using her brother for her lame excuses.

"Is he okay?" There was a genuine tone of worry in his voice.

 _She should be ashamed of herself._

"He's fine." She replied as he pulled her closer and placed a hand on the back of her neck. Sarah knew what was coming next.

His lips inched on hers and she closed her eyes at the touch. "Good morning. I feel like I didn't say a proper goodbye yesterday with everything that happened." He said sheepishly.

Sarah couldn't help but smile. "Hi."

"That's my Sarah right there." He said in all honesty and she felt her heart constrict in her chest. "What?"

"I need… I have to tell you something."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Okay."

"But I'm afraid you are going to hate me." She didn't want to look at him.

"Hate you? I could never hate you Sarah." He told her softly, getting worried.

"Oh, you will." She told him, fighting the urge to bolt but she was instead saved by a bunch of kids coming in into the classroom and they decided to leave before the teacher knew they had been there alone.

"There you are, come on." Henry called them as they moved to their next class before they had a chance to talk.

Sarah had to get back to the few sophomore classes she had and she wouldn't get a chance to see Connor again until lunch.

But she kept her phone and he insisted on telling him what was wrong, but she couldn't, not via text. "Everything okay Sarah?" Jay asked when their lesson was over and they walked to the next one. "Have you talked to Connor?"

"I haven't… it's like the universe doesn't want me to." She admitted to him, sadly.

"Listen, Rhodes isn't my favorite person, but he's a good guy and I know he cares about you. You guys will be okay."

"I hope you are right." Sarah said, hoping with all her might it turned out to be true.

So much for seeing Connor at lunch. Jason had had a meltdown and she was called down to his building and then she had class.

It wasn't until she was on her way to find him that instead, she found Mr. Charles and Miss Goodwin. "Miss Reese? Good, we didn't have to call on you, come with us."

Sarah sighed as she stared over to her Junior Biology class and sighed. Her head was pounding as she arrived into the principal's office, and to her horror found Ava and her parents in. "Your Mother is on her way Sarah."

Susan Reese was called over to school because of Jason, never Sarah. Not even when she had been bullied back home had she allowed herself to be called over. Ava glared at Sarah as her upper class parents examined her closely. "Honestly, what's this about? We have important things to do, places to be."

"Please Mr. Bekker." Sharon spoke softly. "This is in both girl's best interest…"

"How can it be? Are you accusing my daughter of something?" He shot. Daniel fixed his glasses.

"Of course not, we just want to hear the girl's side of the story."

"Which is?" Ava's Mom hissed.

"That's what they're here to tell us."

* * *

"What's up with you?" Henry asked Connor as he leaned over on the wall of the classroom, his phone in his hand.

"Sarah…"

"Wasn't she called over to Jason's building?"

"Yeah, but she told me to meet her in the parking lot after school and I'm worried, she isn't even answering my texts. She's been acting a little off..."

"I'm sure she's fine." Henry assured him. "Come on, let's go sit."

"You know something." It wasn't a question. "Spill Henry."

"It's not really my place C, you know I love you but this is for Sarah to tell you."

"Tell me what?" He shot. "What the hell is going on."

"I..." Henry was getting nervous but Connor only glared at him as he wasn't able to reply because the teacher had come in. Before Henry could register what was happening, Connor excused himself and went in search for Sarah.

Susan stood beside her child as Mr. Charles explained the situation to everyone. Sarah's phone kept buzzing in her pocket as she looked down, over at Miss Goodwin and her guidance counselor.

"Miss Reese?" Daniel spoke and almost made Sarah jump. "Would you mind if we take a look at your phone?"

"This is ridiculous." Ava's Dad huffed. "How is that going to prove anything?"

"Please wait Mr. Bekker." Sharon pleaded. "We all want to get to the bottom of this."

"I'll tell you what this is about…" He spoke as Sarah took her phone out and saw all the missed texts from Connor, she unlocked it and gave it to Mr. Charles. "This is about money, isn't it? That is what all public schools want…"

"Not everything is about money Mr. Bekker…" Principal Goodwin replied patiently.

"Sarah, how long have you been receiving these texts?" Daniel asked kindly.

"About two or three weeks."

"And they are mostly attacking your relationship with Connor Rhodes, aren't they?" Sarah froze.

"What does Connor have to do with this?"

"He was first appointed to Miss Reese upon her late arrival to Gaffney." Sharon Goodwin explained.

"And then she began throwing her little brother at him so she would pity her." Ava finally spoke interrupting the older woman and Sarah felt her mother stiffen next to her both their temper's began to rise.

"Do you believe that's how Sarah and Connor's relationship came to be?"

"Of course, why else would he like her, he's way better than her, she's a nobody and he's Connor Rhodes."

 _Just Connor_

Sarah's head echoed. Her mind didn't register what happened next, voices were raised and she felt herself being defended by her mother who wouldn't have upper class people insult her children. Or any kind of people for that matter. "Sarah?" A soft voice spoke as she felt herself fade, she'd forgotten to eat as she had rushed to check on Jason and her body was catching up to her, she didn't know if she was imagining things but the last thing she saw were a pair of worried blue eyes.

Sarah woke up in the nurse's office, her mother and Mr. Charles were beside her. "Don't get up just yet Sarah." the nurse spoke kindly. "Here, you can sit." She offered her hand to her and pulled her up. "Drink this."

"What happened?" Sarah was sipping on her juice as she looked at her mother and Daniel.

"You had us worried there for a second Sarah." Mr. Charles smiled. "I think you should let your mother take you home now."

"And Jason?"

"I asked Mary to drive him." Susan said. "You are who I'm worried about, honey why didn't you tell me what was going on?"

"I believe Sarah was trying to protect you Mrs. Reese, just like she does to everyone she cares about. Even young Connor."

"Where's…"

"Hey." Connor's voice spoke behind her and Sarah froze. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay, a little dizzy." She admitted as her boyfriend knelt in front of her. "Connor, I…"

"Shh… it's okay, you need to go home, rest."

"But…" Sarah felt like she wanted to cry as she looked at him.

"Thank you for all your help Connor." Daniel said to the boy. "You best head back to class now, for real this time."

Connor didn't move.

"Please Connor, I think it's best if Sarah doesn't get herself worked up, I'm sure you understand." Connor looked over at his girlfriend when Susan Reese spoke.

"Wait Mom…"

"Mrs. Reese, why don't we give them a moment?" Daniel suggested and walked over to the door with Susan.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Connor asked after a moment. He was still kneeling in front of her and Sarah was already feeling her eyes water. "God Sarah…"

"I didn't know how to, you had so much going on with your Mom, I got scared." Connor didn't look at her. "I'm so sorry…"

"No, I'm sorry." He paced over and away from her. "It was because of me that Ava did it."

"You are not responsible for Ava, Connor."

"No, but I am for you." He spoke softly

 _Silence._

"And I let her hurt you." There was so much pain in his voice that Sarah just wanted to hold him and never let go.

"See? I'd told you, you would hate me." She said

"I don't hate you Sarah, I hate myself for allowing this to happen." Connor sighed. There was a knock on the door and Susan reappeared. "Go home Sarah." He brushed his lips on her forehead for a moment and Sarah felt as if she should hold onto that feeling forever because all too soon it would disappear.

* * *

"Mom…" Sarah started from the passenger seat.

"Sarah…" Her Mom sighed as she practically glared at the road.

Sarah hated the silence, "Please don't hate me…" She mumbled. "I know I've been causing trouble…"

She couldn't help it, between her embarrassment, her anger and fainting spell, she dam broke and started crying.

It was enough for her Mom to pull the car over. "Sarah Reese, you listen to me." Her Mom said sternly, taking her hand. "I could never hate you. Ever. You're my daughter and I love you okay?"

Sarah merely managed to nod.

Susan sighed and rubbed her face with a tired hand. "I wish you would have told me what was happening. I know you're under a lot of pressure with Jason and school and I'm busy with work but Sarah I thought you would come to me with something like this. You're my level-headed girl."

"But you don't like Connor." Sarah argued, "And Ava was only doing this because of Connor and…"

"That's the reason I don't want you dating right now with school and Jason. It's too much and kids are cruel."

Sarah's stomach flipped, this was _exactly_ what she was afraid of.

"It's not Connor's fault!"

"Either way, I'm going to need you to tell me everything about this Sarah, I need to have our defense ready if this escalates..."

"What?"

"Well you don't think the Bekkers are going to take this lying down? I know their sort of people Sarah, they would walk over you if they could. We can't take any chances. They are like hell getting the better of my daughter."

Sarah was surprised to hear her mother cursing as she pulled back out onto the road. "And I'm going to need your phone until further notice."

Her eyes widened but she didn't dare to fight about it.

They told Jason that Sarah wasn't feeling well so she could escape to her room and lie down.

A small knock came to her door and Sarah woke up and shuffled over to open to find Jason on the other side about an hour later though, holding very burnt toast on his favorite Transformers plastic plate.

"What's up Jason?" She asked softly.

"Mom said you're not feeling too good and Mary says I'm a grown up boy now and you always make me feel better when my tummy is sick." He shoved the plate into her hands.

"Jason…" She nearly started crying at the sweet gesture. "I love you."

"Did I do good?"

"It was perfect buddy, thank you." He nearly met her eyes before shuffling off.

She sat back on her bed, reaching for her secret phone. There was someone else she needed to tell something too.

* * *

"Are you alright man?" Jay asked at lunch as Connor went to join them, he had found Jay by the hallway and the younger boy had insisted he'd sit with them. "You look pale." He said as he sat next to his brother.

"Sarah told Mr Charles." Will let out. It wasn't a question.

Connor wasn't sure how it happened exactly but apparently he now sat at a table with a mashup of his and Sarah's friends. Will, Henry and Jay and even Monique sat around him.

"So, what happened?" Will asked after a moment.

"Ava's parents took her out of school for the rest of the day." Connor told him grimly.

"Is Sarah okay?" Henry asked.

Connor shrugged hopelessly. Her _I love you_ message had just arrived to his phone, but he hadn't heard it buzz.

"I don't know. Seeing as I didn't know about any of this until now. What, did you all some sort of secret meetings about this." His temper was flaring but he didn't care.

"Hey, we're not the bad guys here, we're not Ava. She's the one you should have a problem with." Will retorted.

Ava would be lucky if Connor didn't drive to her house after school and let her have a piece of his mind.

He just kept replaying every interaction he had had with Sarah the last few weeks over and over. How could he had missed it?

Now the overzealous kiss and avoiding him all made sense. He hated himself for not trying harder to find out what was wrong sooner.

Sarah had been in pain. And it was his fault.

He drove home, almost turning the corner on the way to Sarah's house but couldn't bring himself to do it.

How could he be so selfish and not see what was going on with her? He stared at his phone for a moment and then thought of her text, it was on her other number so her mother probably had taken the other one away.

He couldn't call her right now.

* * *

"Henry, what the hell happened?" Natalie asked her friend as he drove to her house to study given now that they weren't going to with Sarah, he caught her up on what had happened at school. "Where's Connor?"

"I offered him to go with me to Molly's but he said he needed time to think."

"And you left him alone?!" She said to him.

"What else could I do Nat?"

"I don't know, stay with him?"

"He just went home." Henry said. "I texted him and he said he was."

"Oh, and you believed him?"

"Well yeah…"

"Okay, let's go over there and keep him company…" Henry rolled his eyes at her. "Don't mess up with the pregnant girl Lee Henry, let's go."

They drove over to Connor's, letting a sigh of relief once they saw he actually home. "I'll call him for you kids." Katie said when they arrived.

"Katie, does he seem okay to you?"

"I didn't see him when he got home. Why?"

"Ava Bekker."

"What did that crazy girl do now?" The older woman asked while shaking her head. "Well he's up in his room and hasn't come out all evening."

"It's okay Katie, we got it."

"Alright, call me if you need anything." she told them. "I'll bring up some cookies in a minute."

"Thanks." Henry and Nat climbed up the stairs and knocked on the door. "Connor, it's Nat."

"And Henry." His friend added and Nat rolled her eyes.

"Listen, Henry told me what happened, are you okay?"

He unlocked the door and they came inside. "Hey, good you are in one piece." Henry sighed nervously.

"Did you know too?" Connor said to Natalie.

"Yes, we sort of figured it out. I told Sarah she should tell you about it."

"Great, so I was the only one stupid enough not to notice?" Connor laughed bitterly. "Some boyfriend I turned out to be, huh?" He sat back in his bed and grabbed on something from under his pillow.

"What's that?"

"My father's good scotch." Connor mused. "Don't worry, I didn't open it."

"Connor, listen, Sarah had been bullied before, she was good at pretending, it took us a while to figure it out. This isn't your fault."

"How is it not my fault Natalie? Ava went after Sarah because she was with me."

"Well, actually, she was after her from the get go, it got worse when you..."

"Henry!"

"Well, it's true."

Natalie huffed sitting beside Connor on the bed. "Listen to me, whatever happens you need to know that all Sarah wanted to do was protect you."

"But, that's my job, not hers, Nat."

"It goes both ways, it's 2018 after all, I know you feel the need to protect everyone around you, trust me, I've seen it first hand, but Sarah is a big girl and she was strong enough to let Mr. Charles know what was going on. You should give her some credit."

Connor sighed. "She was afraid to tell me."

"Maybe, but only because of who Ava was, of what in entailed for you. She wasn't afraid of you Connor, just the messed up situation."

"What's the difference?"

"A huge one." Natalie said, smiling. "So, I have two tests tomorrow, I need you both to help me or I'm going to flunk junior year."

Connor felt his phone buzz as they settled in his room to study. _I am sorry. Please let's talk tomorrow? I love you._

He wrote something quickly and sent it back. "I hope you are as good as your girlfriend at Math, C or I'm dead."

"Henry, you are not helping." Natalie hissed and Connor smiled for the first time since that morning, thankful he had the two of them to fall back on when he was in trouble.

* * *

 **Oh man! Rheese is hurting and the drama is building up! Stay tuned and thanks for reading!**


	32. Chapter 32

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 32**

 _Something was different._

Emily Choi could practically sense it the moment she got onto the bus on Friday morning.

She had been out of school with a nasty cold the previous day and had been hoping to get Friday off too but her parents were having none of it.

She was much better and she had to go to school. So much for having a long weekend off.

There wasn't anything obviously wrong. Everybody was in their own seats but it all seemed too forced. Will was sitting up straighter than usual beside Sarah and Ethan sat behind her unusually.

The oddness just kept escalating the further the morning went on. Will _and_ Jay walked Sarah over to drop Jason off at his building.

And Connor straight up looked like hell. Emily, since the first day he had rocked into Gaffney with his torn black shirt and black eye, had never seen Connor Rhodes look so bad. His clothes looked crumpled and he looked like he hadn't slept in a week and was ridiculously pale.

But according to the gossip mill she had heard that his Mom was doing better, so that couldn't be the reason.

She broke her silence at lunch when Gabby was held back by their teacher and Emily had gone on ahead with Monique, and Monique had led her to _Connor Rhodes_ ' table.

He may be her friend's boyfriend but he would always be Connor freaking Rhodes to her.

Emily gave everyone a confused smile as they didn't even blink an eye when she sat down. Henry looked just about ready to pull his hair out with worry as he desperately flicked through his maths textbook and Natalie didn't take her eyes off Connor.

"Okay, what did I miss?" Emily practically hissed at Monique as she nearly fell out of her seat when the Halstead brothers voluntarily sat facing Connor.

She was beginning to think she was just having some fever inflicted dream and was actually still in bed at home. Because this was not real.

Monique looked around warily, afraid of what to say.

"I thought you would have heard…" The blonde girl shrugged.

"I usually do but I've obviously just lost my crown of being the first person to know everything. Seriously, I'm out for one day and I miss something this huge?" Emily declared. "Come on Monique, Will and Connor are eating together, we're sitting at a table with junior's….this is serious."

"Yeah it is, and it's horrible." Monique admitted. "We didn't even notice Em, we should have noticed."

"Noticed what?"

Monique bit her lip, "Ava has been bullying Sarah." She whispered so faintly that Emily could barely hear. "Saying the most horrible things about to her, about her and Connor."

" _Excuse me_?" Emily declared as she jumped out of her seat.

"Emily calm down." Monique begged.

"No I will not. We're all sitting around here like it's a funeral and Ava is walking around like freely" She pointed to where the junior girl was flanked by Doris and trying to flirt with Antonio.

"Who the hell does she think she is?" She demanded. She detested bullies. She had been the butt of everyone's joke growing up and Sarah was too sweet for anything like that to happen to.

"And you, Rhodes!" Emily asked, planting her hands on the table and watched as Connor rose his eyes to meet hers. "Isn't that girl supposed to be one of your old buddies? Why aren't you over there telling her where exactly she should go?"

"Emily, that isn't going to make things better." Natalie said, trying to be the voice of reason. "Sarah is with Mr Charles now, they're trying to sort things out."

It didn't matter what the other girl said, Emily didn't care. She had spent too many years with no one to stand up for her. With no one to tell her that it wasn't her fault and certainly no one to take the bullies down a notch for her.

She was halfway across the cafeteria before they all blinked.

"Excuse me." She demanded, putting herself into the conversation that Ava was having. Antonio looked relieved as he excused himself and walked away.

"Doris, do you hear something buzzing? Something like, oh I don't know, a wannabe?" Ava glared at Emily.

"Who do you think you are? You think you can swan into _our_ school and what? Become it's queen? Think you can go around making other people miserable? Well let me tell you something Ava…" She shoved a finger into the girl's shoulder before Ethan was suddenly behind her, grabbing her by the waist and half dragging her back across the cafeteria.

"I'm so not done with you. Everyone knows you're a bully and a fake and like have a ridiculous obsession with Connor."

"Emily!" Ethan growled. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Giving her a piece of my mind." Emily defended herself.

"That was the best thing I've seen all day." Henry laughed as Natalie kicked him.

* * *

"Henry!" Sarah caught up with her friends just after lunch and before the dreaded Downey test. "Henry, I'm so sorry! I forgot about helping you with this last night." She tried to catch her breath as they made their way into class.

She had rushed as fast as she could from Mr Charles' office, no real progress had been made really. The Bekkers were adamant that Ava was innocent and wouldn't let anyone see her phone without getting a lawyer involved.

It had all just given Sarah a headache.

Henry looked up in surprise at the distraction from his last minute cramming. "Oh Sarah, it's fine…" He was really bad at lying. "Don't worry about it."

 _Something like Ava's voice immediately piped up in the back of her mind. She was a bad friend. How could she let Henry down?_

His placement on the hockey team depended on his grades and between Elizabeth and the diner and the hundred other things that Henry seemed to have to do at home, Sarah was sadly aware that his grades were slipping.

Henry gave her a pained smile that she supposed was his attempt to reassure her that he would be fine.

"Hi." She said as Connor came in through the door behind her.

"Hey." The intensity of his gaze nearly made her knees give out beneath her. Like he was impossibly in love with her and utterly betrayed by her all in the one moment.

It was the worst test that she had ever sat at.

She couldn't concentrate, from looking between Henry who was tapping his pen more than actually writing anything and Connor's frown at the page in front of him. Along with the fact that she was worrying about what exactly Ava's family could do. She should have just kept quiet and ignored it.

The bell rang before she had even finished and she dropped her pencil in shock. That had never happened before.

"Your test, Ms. Reese?" Mr Downey was beside her table before she knew it, with the class already milling out.

"But...but I'm not finished…"

He gently took the paper from her desk, "Sarah, taking these junior classes can be tough, don't be so hard on yourself." He told her gently.

Her junior classes were the least of her problems.

* * *

"Connor." Sarah caught him at his locker after school, probably hoping that maybe they could talk but honestly, he didn't know what to think. He had been living in his own misery the entire day. Flickering between being so angry at himself and the situation and being so overcome with disappointment with everyone.

"Hey, how did the meeting go with Mr Charles?" He asked. That was obviously the wrong question. She shut down in front of him, scruffing her shoe against the ground.

"Not great." She admitted.

"Oh."

Since when had something so easy as him and Sarah suddenly become so difficult? He didn't know what to say and even though she had said they should talk today, she seemingly didn't know what to say either.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you…" She said. "I really am."

"I'm sorry you didn't tell me too Sarah." He admitted, running a hand through his hair. "I should have known. I've known Ava my whole life, I should have guessed she might do something like that."

"It's not your fault." Sarah argued but Connor barely listened.

"I'll talk to her and…"

"No! Please don't!" Sarah grabbed his arm, panic in her eyes, "Not with everything going on with her parents...it would look bad if you got involved now…"

"Fine." He said, trying to calm her down. "I won't."

 _But he really, really wanted to._

Ava was a piece of work. He could see now what she had done to Sarah. Her shoulders were slumped and she looked downright scared in their math class. And he hated that the fact that Ava had such a social status that her parents could practically bully the school too. But most of all, he still hated himself for being oblivious to the situation. But he hated all the lies too.

And on top of that, he still had to go to the stupid Gala that evening.

 _Where his father would be._

 _Where Ava would be too_

"I need to go get Jason." Sarah told him.

"Okay. Do you want me to…" He gestured, suggesting to accompany her.

"I guess." She said. "No reason why Jason has to be upset too, right?"

They walked over to the elementary school building together but kept their distance.

"Wait, Sarah, I can't do this."

"What?" She asked worriedly,

"Pretend. I just, I love you too much to let me screw it up again, honestly, It's not about the lying, I get I, I mean I was doing the same thing with my Mom when I found out about Cornelius, my point is." He made her stop and look at him. "Can we please not let Ava win?" His voice was quivering and Sarah's heart couldn't take it. "I'm sorry, you have to know that I'm not mad at you? Just at the situation."

"I'm mad at it too, it's a crappy one."

Connor scratched his ear. "I better let you go get Jason. James will be here to pick you up any minute."

Sarah's mind clicked. "Right."

"I'll see you tomorrow?" She glanced at him confused. "At the Aquarium?"

"We don't have to go." She said quickly and his face fell. "I mean, I don't want you to feel obligated to."

"Since when is Jason an obligation?" They spotted Mary and her little brother making their way over. "I want to."

"Connor, Mom says we're not taking the bus because Mary is driving tomorrow." Jason said. "She said I had enough stickers for me to get a toy too."

"Your Mother asked me to come along. I hope that's alright?" Mary put in.

Sarah eyed Connor. "Yes, no problem."

She felt her phone buzz, probably James. Mary could sense the tension between the two teens. "Come on Jason, let's get going to the car so you can show your father that you are all done for the day?"

"Are they kissing again?" Jason asked as he glanced back at them.

Sarah let out a loud sigh she didn't know she had been holding.

"So, I'll see you guys around 11?" Connor asked. "Or do you want to me up there already since Mary's driving you?"

"Whatever you want is fine." Sarah said shyly. She could see James's car parked from afar. "I need to get going."

"Right, I'll text you?" Sarah nodded and started to walk over. She wanted to turn around and kiss him, to tell him that Ava hadn't won, but to Sarah, she could see that maybe she had, and the worst thing was, that she was letting her, allowing her to get between her and Connor.

* * *

Connor got into his car and drove home. A little too fast.

As if his day wasn't bad enough, he still had to face his father.

He let himself in and tried to sneak to his room before anyone noticed.

"Good, about time your home, you better not be loitering around that school. Go and get changed or we'll be late." His Dad said from the grand staircase.

Connor just nodded and past by him, "Hi Dad, my day was pretty crappy, how was yours?" He mumbled under his breath as he got to his room and slammed the door closed behind him.

He couldn't even talk to his friends, Henry was in blind panic mode about his grades and had to babysit his siblings that night and Natalie had gotten off school early to go for a baby scan, he didn't want to stress her out.

His Mom would want him on his best behaviour tonight though and he didn't want to disappoint her either so he had no one left to talk to.

It wasn't like he could talk to Sarah, was it? Their conversation was stilted at best, both unsure of where on earth they were supposed to go now.

He took a swig of the Scotch he had hidden under his bed the night before.

He would need all the help he could get to get through the night.

He would have to be the 'Dolan Rhodes Heir' and try and live his double life. He loved the fact that his Mom tried to give him a different taste at life but sometimes it was just tiring. Having to compartmentalise his life.

He couldn't talk about his 'Rhodes' life with Henry or Nat or even Sarah. And now he couldn't vent about the entire Ava and Sarah situation with the people on the other side.

 _He hated Ava._

 _He hated that she had hurt Sarah because of him._

 _He hated that he had been to wrap up in his own self to notice._

 _Connor took another gulp from the bottle._

He just wished people would stop lying to him and tell him the truth.

Connor took another sip and cringed at the burning feeling ripping down his throat.

 _Why did his Mom have to be sick anyway?_

He poured the Scotch into a hip flask he had stolen from one of the drinks cupboards and slipped it in the inside pocket of his tux.

It was only a matter of time before Sarah realised who he really was, a spoilt trust fund kid with a vicious temper with apparently no ability to pick up on the fact that his girlfriend was being bullied and a rich boy who couldn't seem to save anyone in his life.

He was just as people always perceived him to be. Connor Rhodes.

Not Connor.

* * *

Claire had perfected her heiress facade. She would nod as if interested in conversations, shake hands, smile appropriately and make connections.

She had actually enjoyed these sort of events once. She loved meeting new people, she loved being listened to, even if it was because of her second name, and she had loved spending time with her family.

"Is your brother okay?" Kim asked as they scanned the room. After falling with what could only be described as the wrong gang of their elite circle and the subsequent fall out; the DUIs, the nights that were a blank and the turmoil, Kim had still stuck by her.

They had been best friends from childhood, always running in the same clubs and schools and events. It was the closest thing she had to what Connor had with Henry and Natalie.

But that was the contrast, she lived in their Dad's world. Connor lived mostly in the world that their Mom had created.

"Where is he?" Claire asked.

"Adam saw him going into the bathroom and he looked a little...unstable." Kim explained.

"Connor?"

"Yeah." Kim said.

"Hey Babe." Adam approached them, kissing Kim's cheek and handing the two girls their drinks.

"Hey, listen, could you go and check on Connor?" Kim asked, she had already felt Claire tense beside her.

"Your little brother? Sure thing. I'm sure he's fine though." He said to Claire before sneaking back into the crowd and heading towards the bathrooms.

The girls chatted with an acquaintance whose daughter was exhibiting her art that night while Claire started to worry.

Connor could be many things, stubborn, loyal even harsh, but never _unstable._

Kim's phone started ringing so she answered it while looking at Claire, "Yeah we'll be right there."

She took hold of Claire's wrist, "Come on, Adam has Connor outside."

Claire let Kim lead the way, as they acted like nothing was wrong.

They emerged into the chilly night and Claire wished she had remembered to grab her jacket from inside.

Kim walked down the steps of the grand building and walked down the street and took a turn into a side alley way. "Adam?"

"Right here."

He said from where he was leaning against a wall while Connor was sitting on the ground with his back to it.

"Connor?" Claire gasped. Of all people.

"Ummm fine…." He slurred and Adam passed her the flask that he had taken out of Connor's hands.

"Connor what on earth?" But she got it. Of course she got it. _How many times had she been found like this?_

"I'm gonna…." He mumbled before he turned away and proceeded to throw up. Claire took a sniff from the flask. Well her brother went all out, their Dad's best Scotch.

"I'm calling Earl…" She said as she pressed speed dial for one of their drivers that she knew she could trust. She could see her own breath as she told him where they were and eventually Connor stopped heaving.

"Hey Connor, come on, you think you can stand?" She asked in a quiet voice, putting her hands on his shoulders. It broke her heart to see him look so young and innocent but so lost as well.

"Claire….everything's a mess…" His voice wobbled.

"You're going to be okay, everything's going to be okay. I promise." She told him, holding onto his head to make him look at her.

He was going to argue with her but she could see him wince as no doubt his stomach was churning again and he instead just nodded.

"Let's go home."

With Adam's help, she managed to get Connor to the car that Earl had parked a bit away so nobody would see them.

"Thanks guys. So much." She gave Adam and Kim a hug and followed her brother into the car.

He was crying now. Full and broken sobs.

"Everything….it's mess….and Mom….and Sarah….what am I doing?" He rattled off incoherent thoughts as she gently eased him down so he could lean his head against her shoulder and she managed to convince him to close his eyes. It would stop the world from spinning on the long drive home.

* * *

When they got home Elizabeth, who'd been under the weather a bit was asleep and her father would be pulling an all nighter, Claire was pretty sure he'd barely noticed when they had left.

"Claire?" Katie had been an expert at listening in for them, specially when they weren't meant to be home yet. Earl had Connor by the arm and she was grabbing the other side. "What happened?"

"Do you want me to take him up Miss Claire?" Earl asked worriedly.

"Connor? Honey, can you hear me?" Katie whispered.

"I should have died instead of Michael." They heard him mumble under his breath. "Everyone would be better off." Claire froze.

She hadn't heard that name in a long time. "Let's get you upstairs." Claire said snapping back into action, Earl put Connor gently down on the bed. "I'll make sure no one knows a thing about this Miss Claire, if your father asks."

"We can tell him I wasn't feeling okay. I'll handle it, Earl, thank you."

Katie began to undress Connor as he tried to push her hands away. "I'm not a baby, Katie." He hissed at her.

"Well, tonight you are not acting very grown up." Katie said sternly. She grabbed on his suit jacket pulling it off. "What were you thinking sweet boy?"

"Let's get him to the shower, that always worked with me."

Earl remained with them to get Connor to the bathroom and opened the shower, Claire and Katie watched as he didn't even fight when he had his pants and shirt all wet, but water worked its magic, Connor's head was pounding as he looked at them, shifting back to reality.

"Let's get you up boy." Earl smiled softly and grabbed his bathrobe. "I'll help him, don't you two worry."

"Are you sure?" Earl nodded, after all it wasn't his fìrst time in the rodeo.

"I'll go check on your Mom, why don't you get him some cold milk and something to eat?" Katie suggested to Claire.

"He drank up Dad's good scotch." Claire commented as they got out of the bathroom and into the room. I'll fill it up and put it back. He doesn't need one more reason to go off on him." She said, grabbing on the half empty bottle.

Katie smiled. "You are a good sister Claire."

"I'm not, honestly, I'm good at covering up messes. Did you notice he'd been this upset?"

Katie sighed. "No. He'd been doing so good since he met Sarah."

Kelly came out of Elizabeth's room to see them talking by the hallway a moment later. "How's she?"

"Asleep."

"Good."

"And Connor?" Kelly asked, having known something was wrong when she saw them climb up the stairs.

"He's going to have one hell of a headache tomorrow but otherwise he's okay." Claire said. "Physically anyway."

* * *

Connor couldn't move as his head was spinning when Claire came back into his room with a glass of milk and crackers. She didn't think he'd be able to hold anything else down. "Go away." He mustered.

"Sorry, no can do." Claire said, sitting on the bed as he tried to pull himself up with a groan. "What were you thinking huh?"

Connor didn't reply. "Mom's asleep, I just hope she didn't notice, most times when I thought she wouldn't find out, she always did." Claire admitted. "What's going on with you? You were saying something about Sarah."

Connor could barely coordinate drinking and eating at the same time as his body took on the turmoil of the night. "She hates me."

"I'm sure that's not true." His sister said. "That girl loves you and I know you do too."

Connor winced in pain as his head pounded once more. He grabbed his phone but had no texts or missed calls from Sarah. He tried not to look at his phone's background to attentively. "Try and get some sleep, It will all look better in the morning, trust me."

Connor put the glass down on the nightstand as Claire closed the room's door behind her. Katie and Kelly were downstairs in the kitchen with Earl, she decided to call a night too, having grabbed a glass of milk of her own, she said her goodnights and thanked the older women for their help as well as Earl's.

Back in her room, she opened her closet's door taking a small box hidden way in the back, a few old pictures of her and her Mom, her and Kim and Adam.

Her and baby Connor and one Katie had given her one day when she had dared to ask about someone no one in her house mentioned.

Her baby brother Michael, she had been too young to remember him well, but Katie had told both kids the story of the baby who had been born before Connor but then suddenly had died one night.

Gone to heaven just like that. She knew neither her Mother or Cornelius had pictures of him and if they did, she had not seen any. If anyone asked she would just say that she had been pregnant with Connor if they happened to see old pregnant pictures of Elizabeth, but Michael had been the true heir of the Dolen Rhodes legacy, the kid who was supposed to be groomed to take over.

Connor was too sweet, but too stubborn to accept the life Cornelius had mapped out for him.

She stared at the picture of her and a baby, she couldn't be more than 18 months and Michael a newborn.

A few months after that, the baby was gone, Katie had explained, it was a terrible tragedy that happened more often than people would think.

She put the picture back and took off her dress and got ready for bed, replying to a text from Kim before falling asleep.

* * *

Sarah woke up to a note of her Mom saying she'd be back by the time they came from the Aquarium that afternoon and that maybe they could go to Molly's for a late lunch. She saw Jason was already up and getting dressed the best he could. Sarah made her way down the kitchen to make them both breakfast, keeping a close eye on her phone, which had been returned to her for a text from Connor.

No such luck. He had told her he and Claire were being forced to go to the event weeks ago and that he wasn't able to get off it.

Connor Rhodes and his double life, one that like Ava had said, she couldn't be a part of. Jason came down a moment later, they talked a bit about what they'd do in the Aquarium and what exhibits they'd go to.

Mary knocked on the door right on time and they got in the car, Sarah insisting Connor would meet them there.

She texted him to let him know they were leaving but hadn't gotten a reply by the time they had arrived. "Can we wait for Connor?" Jason asked. Sarah nodded and Mary asked if he had actually said he'd be here.

He'd be here, Sarah knew him, she knew that no matter what was going on with the two of them, Jason was one thing they were always on the same page about and she loved that about her boyfriend, how that had come so natural to him, even before they had began dating. "Maybe we should go in?" Mary suggested half an hour later.

"But, he promised!" Jason protested, Sarah knew if they didn't act quickly he would be throwing a tantrum.

"Why don't you go on ahead with Mary? I'm going to call him." Jason didn't seem so sure but Mary ushered him in inside as Sarah remained to the side and dialed Connor's number.

Connor woke up with his head still spinning from the other night as he heard his phone burst into life beside him, he groggily composed himself, trying to get a hold of himself over the pain throbbing.

3 Missed calls from Sarah and a bunch of texts, including one from Kim and another one from Adam to check on him.

He looked down at the time. He'd fallen asleep and there was no way Sarah was going to forgive him now. Not if he disappointed Jason. He tried calling her back but it went straight to voicemail. Jumping to his feet, he took a quick shower and dashed down the kitchen to find Katie and Elizabeth. "Hey baby, how was the Gala?" His Mom asked and he instantly glanced at Katie.

"Boring." Connor huffed. "I've gotta go, I'm meeting Sarah and Jason at the Aquarium." He leaned to kiss his Mom's cheek and said his goodbyes to Katie as he headed to the garage to get his car.

They'd come out of yet another exhibit when Sarah noticed Connor's missed calls. She was about to call him when Jason spotted him in the crowd. "Connor, we didn't go to the sharks yet, I told Sarah we could go to that last when she said you were late."

Sarah smiled at him. "You made it."

"I told you I would, didn't I?" He said, she could see he was a bit pale and his grin was not as wide as usual. "Sorry I was late."

"Don't worry about it, you are here now."

She honestly didn't know how they were meant to get past this. They spent the next hour or so following Jason around as he dragged them and Mary along.

Mary shot them both a look from the counter at the cafeteria as she got a snack for Jason. "He seems happy." Connor commented as he sipped on his drink. One Katie had made for him to help with the hangover.

"He's glad you are here." Sarah beckoned.

"Are you?"

"Of course." She said. Connor looked over at Jason again.

"I really am sorry that I was late." He told her. "Maybe we can watch a movie tomorrow?"

"We're heading over to James'" Sarah said. Of the one relationship she didn't think something good could come out, things with James had seemed to be improving as her and Connor had come to halt.

"Oh, okay." He said, sadly. "I was hoping, maybe we could talk?"

"Isn't that what we are doing?" She inquired.

"I guess." He countered. Jason had come back to the table again with Mary and he took all of the attention.

For which both teens seemed relieved about.

A little later, they stood by Mary's car as Connor said his goodbyes to Jason. Mary eyed them both wearily as she got into the driver's seat. Jason was showing off the toy shark Connor had gotten for him and he was excitedly saying to Mary that her kids should come along next time. They were older than Sarah and mostly were out of town with their father on weekends but she agreed.

"So, I'll see you at school then?" Connor said, playing with his car keys.

"Yeah, I'll see you." Sarah agreed. "Thanks for today."

"No problem." He smiled. Sarah felt her heart dip into her chest when he leaned to kiss her, catching the corner of her mouth as she moved her face away. "Sorry, I just wanted to.."

"I'm sorry...I just need some time." Her heart jumped into her chest. He nodded, touching her cheek softly as he walked away.

Sarah looked down at her wrist instantly, shaking her head, she got in the car and refused to glance at Connor as they pulled away.

* * *

Sunday came and if it was possible, Connor felt even worse than the day before, he needed to do something to make things up for Sarah. He still couldn't shake the feeling of her pulling away from him as he'd tried to kiss her.

"Something on your mind honey?" Elizabeth asked as he sat with her in the garden, enjoying a bit of sun that happened to come out that morning. Cornelius and Claire had both gone their separate ways after breakfast.

"Sarah." Connor admitted. Elizabeth smiled at the mentioned of her.

"How is she doing? It's been a while since she's come to visit, everything okay with the two of you?"

Connor avoided his Mom's gaze. "I screwed up, I'm pretty sure this time for good."

"It can't be that bad Connor."

"Ava started to pick on her because we've been dating, and I was too immersed in myself that I didn't even noticed and now she's making Sarah's life a living hell, her parents are planning to sue the school just because of her whim and we're barely talking." Connor looked down to his feet.

"I see." Elizabeth said. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to, upset you, it happened right when you went back to the hospital." Elizabeth understood.

"She began picking on Sarah when you were out of school." It wasn't a question. Conor nodded. "And Sarah didn't tell you."

"How did you…"

"Because she's just like you Connor, she didn't tell you because you had a lot on your plate, she was just trying to protect you."

Connor didn't reply."I know how much you hate lying baby, but someone has to give in here, if you don't, then exactly what Ava set out to do will happen."

Natalie had said the same thing to him and he'd tried to explain that to Sarah and had failed miserably and instead had gone and gotten drunk.

"Sarah won't talk to me."

"Then don't talk, listen to her." Elizabeth countered, sighing. "I know it's hard for you to let go of control, you want to save everyone Connor, but sometimes you have to let people save themselves."

"So, I should leave Sarah alone?"

"For her to process whatever she has to, yes. You need to give her space." Connor sighed."I know it's hard, and it might feel like you are losing her, but trust me honey, I've seen the way she looks at you, that's the farthest thing from her mind, but if you keep pushing, she's going to pull away. Trust me. I learned that the hard way."

Connor stared at his Mother for a moment. "You and Herrmann?"

"No, me and your Dad." Connor blinked at the admission. "We both were young when we got married, our relationship seemed more of a business transaction than anything else, and in the beginning it was, it was a way I could keep my father from losing everything he'd worked so hard to build his entire life, so we learned to live with it. We were friends first and foremost and when Claire was born, I dedicated my life to her and then you. You two were the reason I kept going and then when I got sick, your father could not handle it. He couldn't fathom the idea of having failed.

"Failed?"

"Yes, felt as if he'd failed to make the family he always craved for." Connor froze at Elizabeth's words.

It was the first time Connor saw his father as just another upset kid thrown in the middle of a life he didn't want to.

Much like him.

"Where are you going looking all dressed up?" Elizabeth piped up, pulling him out from his thoughts as he turned to Claire. He eyed her wearily.

"Kim called, she wants to show off her new horse." His sister explained. "I'll be home before dinner."

"Right, have fun sweetheart." Elizabeth said. "Connor and I still have some talking to do."

"Will you be okay?" She shot a look at her brother.

"Yes, of course." Her Mother smiled. She smiled and hugged her softly. "Does she seem more relaxed to you?" Elizabeth tried to shift the conversation away. Connor shrugged. "What?"

"Mom. I have to tell you something about last night…"

Elizabeth turned to her son. "You do?"

Connor nodded. "I did something really stupid."

"Like steal a certain silver flask?" Elizabeth countered. Connor's eyes went wide. "Oh honey, I may be sick but I do know what's going on and you coming home early last night, it had to give out something."

"So Claire told you?"

"She didn't have to, I filled in the details." Connor shrunk into his seat. "She's right about something your sister."

"What?"

"I always somehow know when something is bothering you, you two are too similar to your father."

Connor glanced at her again. "I'm really sorry. It was stupid and I…"

"Good thing your sister was there, huh?"

He nodded. "Listen Connor, you might not see eye to eye with her most times but, she is the one who is going to be here and if you needed to learn anything from last night is that, no matter what, she'll always be your big sister."

His mother's words kept playing in his head later that day as he made his way back to his room and grabbed his phone, waiting to see any signs of hope for him and Sarah, but maybe Elizabeth was right.

Maybe Claire was right too, she loved him, he just needed to give her some space.

* * *

 **Ohhhh more drama for baby Rheese. What did you think?**


	33. Chapter 33

**Holding On.**

 **Chapter 33**

"Hi Henry." Claire said with a smile as she sat onto one of the stools at the counter in Molly's that Sunday afternoon from her way back from seeing Kim.

"Hey Claire…" He mumbled from where he was sitting a few stools down, his head in a book.

She wondered if she had ever seen Henry Herrmann not being his usual happy self.

"You not working today?"

"No, Dad has it covered. I need to study. It's quieter here than at home." She had always wondered what that would be like, to have a house full of life.

"What are you studying?"

"Math. Sarah didn't get to help me with the last test, not that I blame her, she's had enough going on and I shouldn't be relying on her so much but between work and home, I just know that I have to keep my grades up or I won't be able to play hockey and then I won't get a scholarship…"

"Woah there Henry, calm down." Claire interrupted his mildly panicked monologue.

"Sorry." He sighed, "But I just know that I've flunked the last test so I'm hoping Downey will let me take a repeat one to bring my grade back up." He stabbed his notebook with his pencil. "Sorry, I forgot to ask how you are."

There he was. The sweet Henry she knew.

"Don't worry about me, I happened to ace math in high school, let's see if I can help." She hopped down and took a seat next to Henry who just looked at her in surprise. "Hey I am smart you know, even if I have acted stupid the last few years."

"I always knew you were smart." Henry argued.

"Thanks kiddo." She patted his arm, "Now let me see…" She said as she pulled his textbook towards herself. "Ah I remember these! My teacher had a trick, you see…." She took the second pencil that Henry had behind his ear and stole his notebook from his hands and writing down the formulas for the presented problems.

Henry was a good student, asked lots of questions and was utterly convinced he wasn't smart.

He was, he just needed to look at things differently.

Chris came out of the kitchen at one point and wordlessly put two milkshakes in front of them and sent a happy wink in Claire's direction.

"Okay, yeah I think I get it now." Henry laughed in amazement over an hour, many notes and two practice tests later.

"See? You pick it up easy." She said handing him back his textbook.

"Thanks so much Claire, that would have taken me all week and I still wouldn't have gotten it." he said as he happily put his books away.

"Hey, you kids done already?" Chris asked as he wiped on the counter.

"Yeah Claire's great!" Henry said and Claire made a note check onHenry more often if she was going to be complimented so much.

"Hey Dad, so about having the evening off…?" Henry grinned.

"Yeah, yeah, I said you had the evening off didn't I? Just be glad you got your study out of the way. Go have fun or whatever you kids do nowadays."

"I...eh...wouldn't call on Connor today Henry."

"Why not?" He asked as they walked to the door.

"He's either not going to be feeling well, grounded or both. Not my story, I'm sure he'll fill you in later on."

"Oh crap and Nat is with her family and half the guys from the team have already gone to a party. Well I guess I can just head home..."

Her heart went out for him and he wasn't even sad. But Claire felt sad for him. Henry put everyone else first, always and now he had no one to even hang out with on his one rare evening off.

"Hey, you still into horror movies?"

"Yeah why?" he asked as he fished his keys out of his pocket.

"I heard there's a new one out, the one with the children? I happen to have no friends free either, want to go see it for the evening?"

"Go to the movies? With you? Alone?" He asked.

"Yeah." she laughed, "Don't sound so horrified, I know I might not be much company I'm only your best friend's sister…"

"No!" Henry protested a little too loudly, "I mean…" Was he blushing? "I mean I always thought we were friends too. I'd love to go with you."

"Well great. Hey, you can finally give me a ride in that car I helped pick out for you." She teased, bumping her shoulder with his as they walked toward his car.

* * *

Monday came and Sarah was dreading going to school, which hadn't happened since she'd moved to Chicago. Thank Goodness James was driving them because she didn't think she could take the tension of the bus.

Jason seemed more relaxed with his Dad and that made Sarah happy though, actually, his father was actually taking a turn for the better with both of them and she was glad.

She would never admit it to him or anyone but she sort of missed having him around. Jason was still talking to James about the Aquarium and was trying to convince him to have a pet at his house because Susan wouldn't let him have one.

Sarah smiled at the insistence and James' promised that he'd talk about it with his Mom and that made her brother happy enough. "Where's Connor?" Jason asked as soon as they got out of the car and on their way to meet Mary. He would usually meet them by the bus and she was starting to run out of excuses of how he wasn't there.

Her eyes lighted up when she saw Jay and Will making their way over instead. "Hey buddy. Sarah."

"Jay, we went to the Aquarium Saturday." Jason piped up. "Connor got me a toy shark." He continued to tell the brothers about his weekend as Mary found them halfway a moment later, as the bell was about to go off. "I have to go." Sarah said goodbye to her brother as Jay and Will waved.

Connor made it over to his locker, trying to avoid everyone, but instead he found Will Halstead of all people.

"You two okay?" Will asked. "You and Sarah I mean? After last week…"

Connor shrugged, taking his books out. "I'm not sure."

"Have you talked to Ava?"

"Legally, I'm not supposed to." Connor commented.

"Legally?" Will mused. "That's messed up Connor, even by her standards"

"Yeah, the Bekkers are suing the school and since my name has come up. I can't really get involved."

"Or…"

"Or things could get worse for Sarah." He said.

"Is that the only reason you are not getting involved?" Will inquired. "I mean, I get it but we are sixteen how bad can it get?"

"Sarah asked me not too." Connor sighed. "I'm respecting her wishes."

"So, the Aquarium thing was…"

"How did you know about that?" Connor asked curiously.

"Jason. He can't stop babbling about you." Will saw a smile curl sadly on his face, as he saw Natalie and Henry making their way over. "We better get going Herrmann, we have a meeting with Antonio before first period." Henry offered Connor a smile. "Isn't it a wonderful day?" Henry beamed and asked no one in particular.

"I guess?" Will eyed Connor who looked equally confused.

"What's up with you?" Connor asked.

"Can't a guy be happy?" Henry shot at them. "I just had a great weekend."

The two boys went on their way, leaving Connor with Nat who seemed as confused as the other two by Henry's behavior and made a mental note to find out exactly what had happened the previous day so he'd be in such a mood.

"You think he has a girlfriend?" Connor said casually, he hoped the conversation wouldn't shift to him instantly.

"Maybe he does, you know Henry has always been cute." Connor eyed her alarmed. "What? He is. I mean you two are like my brothers, but that doesn't mean other girls won't notice him, by the way, what's that about? You and Will actually having a civilized conversation? Who would have thought that was possible six months ago?" Connor rolled his eyes at her as she leaned beside him. "Although, me being pregnant six months ago? That's also something I didn't think would happen either."

Connor sighed. "How did the doctor's appointment go?"

"Good. Baby's growing just as it's meant to." She said. "I'll get to see if it's a boy or a girl on my next appointment."

"Do you want to?" Find out?"

"I guess." Natalie admitted. "I'm kind of terrified to know though, because of what it means...It makes it real."

Connor could see she was about to cry so he offered her his arms. "Hey, it's okay. I can come with you if you want?"

"You will?"

"Of course." She hugged him even closer and sighed.

"So, how are you and Sarah?" Natalie asked.

That seemed to be the topic of conversation for the day.

"Not great. I'm trying to figure out a way to fix it but Mom said I should give her some space and let her figure out what she wants to do about us."

"So, are you going to?" Natalie inquired breaking the hug and looking at him.

"I guess it's the best thing I've got to work with." He admitted as the bell rang and they made it over to Math.

"You'll work it out, I know you will." Natalie said as they stopped by the door where Will and Nina were talking. It seemed they'd made up.

Connor smiled at Nina as she greeted them both and followed Natalie into the classroom.

He tried not to stare too much when Sarah came in after Henry and sat behind him as usual.

"Oh don't look so scared all of you, you didn't fail as much as I thought you would." Downey said. Henry felt as if he was about to have a heart attack.

His mood had shifted considerably in a matter of 30 minutes.

There was a knock on the door and all eyes turned to Ava who was being flanked by Mr. Charles, who apologized for making her late.

Ava sat on her spot besides Doris in the back and Connor noticed Sarah sinking on her seat as the tests began to circulate around.

He'd gotten a B. Pretty decent grade for the last minute studying he, Henry and Natalie had had. "How did you do?" Sarah asked behind him, causing him to take a moment to ensure she'd actually been talking to him, which was sad.

"Okay, you?"

"B, could have been worse I guess?" She sounded fine but seemed frustrated by her grade .

That was their entire conversation and it didn't seem to ease his worries as Sarah turned to check on Henry.

He'd done good but not as much, it would still look bad for hockey.

"As most you had a good outcome on the test. I'm willing to help those who didn't do so well."

Henry sighed relieved, he figured with all the help from Claire he'd ace the extra work

* * *

"Sarah!" Emily called as Sarah made her way to the cafeteria. "I need to talk to you." She gasped as she caught up with her.

"Is something wrong?"

"Yes! I'm a horrible, terrible friend and you should never talk to me again and are you okay?" Emily exclaimed before pulling Sarah into a hug that literally knocked the breath out of her.

Sarah had gotten a message over the weekend to the same extent, apologising for not being a better friend and offering to egg Ava's car but with the Aquarium and Jason and James being around Sunday, Sarah had forgotten to reply.

It hurt, but she had just accepted that Emily had moved on from her. She wouldn't blame her, she wasn't that interesting.

"Sorry about not getting back to you…" Sarah apologised.

"You shouldn't have to apologise to me!" Emily was outraged at the remark. "I should be grovelling for you to even talk to me. I will never let it happen again, we can't go that long without catching up, I don't care how many junior classes you take."

Sarah let her walk beside her to the cafeteria where after freezing upon seeing Ava she had to bit back a small smile when Ava took a step back after seeing Emily.

Sarah had heard about Emily and Ava's 'exchange' from the Halsteads. And even if she was jealous of Gabby and missed her friend, it just proved that Emily was still her friend. She had stood up for her.

Nobody had done that before.

"I will do anything to make it up to you. I'll even study so we can spend time together." Sarah laughed but poor Emily was deadly serious.

"It's okay, we both kind of got distracted I guess. We can still be friends right?" Sarah asked as she took a seat at the empty table, nobody else had arrived yet.

"Best friends!" Emily declared.

They got their lunches and filled each other in on the mundane stuff, Emily's parents were away on business again and the situation with James and Jason.

"how's it going with Connor?" Emily wiggled her eyebrows.

"Ehh…" Sarah wasn't exactly sure how it was going, really. After the aquarium he had given her so much space she felt lost in it and didn't really know how to connect with him.

"What?" Emily groaned. "But what about the Rheese shippers?"

"Hey guys." Connor said as he and Natalie took a seat at the table followed by Monique who drifted over.

"The what?" Sarah asked, trying to fight the urge to glance over at Connor.

"Oh come on ever since you two got together everyone is rooting for you. Total cliche, bad boy and shy new girl?"

"Yeah but you said some weird word?" Sarah tried to ignore the fact that people had been so interested in them, and by extension her. She didn't want the attention.

"Rheese" Emily said as if it were the simplest concept in the world.

"Oh, their ship name?" Natalie asked. "Cute, right?"

"You know that's a good one, I thought it was Carah." Monique added.

Sarah wondered if they were speaking double Dutch. "What?"

"Yeah, what?" Connor echoed.

"It's this thing from TV Shows, or you know books, whatever, you want two people together so you just mash their names into one." Natalie tried to explain.

"You know...Brangelina, Brad and Angelina. Dramione, Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy...you get the idea." Monique said.

"Yeah...Rheese." Emily pointed between the pair. "Your last names sound way better actually."

"Is that a thing?" Connor asked with a smirk as he leaned his head on his hand and Sarah felt weak in the knees at the simple sight of him smiling.

"Yes! It's huge." Emily informed them, Sarah and Connor glanced at each other, equally lost still.

"Yeah, you're pretty much the most famous couple in the school." Natalie teased before standing up. "I'm craving chocolate, I'll be back." she said as she drifted off to the lunch line.

"Ha! As if, everyone knows we're all rooting for Manstead too." Emily mocked with a roll of her eyes.

Sarah understood it then.

Natalie and Will. Soon enough the boys made their way over, chatting over hockey and joined them.

Henry still hadn't lost the smile on his face, in spite of Downey's test result. "So Henry, maybe we can work on the make up homework together?" Sarah offered as they continued to eat lunch.

"Oh, yeah, we can if you want." He seemed unsure. "Thanks."

"It's the least I could do after the other day." Sarah said. She saw Connor watching her but pretended to be interested in something else.

Soon Connor found himself in the middle of Henry and Nat like old times. "Connor, did you hear me?"

"Ah, no. Sorry." He shrugged.

"I asked you if you were free tomorrow? It's been forever since we've done anything together." Natalie lamented.

"I'm in. We can stay for a bit after Molly's is closed." Connor agreed just because he needed it to get his mind off Sarah.

* * *

At the end of the day, he found himself in the empty hallway, if this was any other situation, he'd be walking with Sarah to get Jason, instead he came face to face with Ava Bekker.

"I was hoping to catch you." She said to him but Connor turned on his heels. "Connor, please?"

"What? What could you possibly say that would make me want to talk to you after what you did, Ava, that was pretty low even for you. What's Sarah ever done to you?"

"She's got you." Ava said. Connor could see just how close she was to him. "I got jealous okay? It was meant to be us together. Remember?"

Connor gritted his teeth. "Ava…"

"What?"

"Please, just…" He closed his eyes at her hand on his chest and then pushed it softly away. "Come on, stop."

"You don't really hate me, do you?" Ava said pulling back. Connor looked at her.

"If I say no, would you tell your father to drop the lawsuit?" He asked. Ava bit her lip in deep thought.

"We are not meant to talk about that, remember?" Ava countered as Connor froze. "I was actually going to ask you about the Gala, I didn't really see you."

"I was there." He said, still tense as she hadn't backed down. "We had to leave early…"

Ava shot him a look. "Now that I think of it, I did see your Dad."

"Mom wasn't feeling well," Connor said, it wasn't entirely a lie, she had been on and off sleep in the last few days after her meds had been adjusted.

"Oh, well, it was boring at most, but it would have definitely been better if you had been around."

Connor nodded. "I need to get going Ava." He said, stepping back and turning the other way around, walking back without another word.

Connor made it over to the ice rink after school. He was sure some pee wee league would have practice but he didn't care.

He needed it today.

Strangely enough he found Antonio and the rest of the team there, Henry was nowhere to be found though perhaps because of homework and Connor figured he'd agreed to have Sarah help him bring his grade up.

"Rhodes? You finally decided on my offer?" Antonio all but grinned at the sight of him.

"No, I just, was hoping it would be empty."

"Something on your mind?" Antonio countered. "A certain sophomore, perhaps?" Connor offered him a weak smile. "Heard what happened, but you shouldn't let yourself down by it, Sarah's a strong girl."

"I know she is."

"So? You two better get off yourselves and makeup." Antonio put in. Connor sighed. "You wanna play? It would be nice to get to see you and Will back together on the ice again."

"I thought you said we were worse than a married couple?" Connor mused.

"Yeah, but you two make one hell of a team."

He went to get a pair of skates as he found Jay. "Hey man, what are you doing here? You playing?"

"For one night only." Connor said as he followed him back out where the rest of the team was lining up for warm up.

It was so easy really, for him to be back out there, surrounded by the ice and the adrenaline of the game, to feel like he was a part of something.

But mostly it felt nice to let go off some steam through something different than alcohol, the last thing he wanted was to end up being like his Dad.

"You still got it Rhodes." Antonio said with a smile as they took a break "You sure we can't make it a full time thing?"

"Sorry." He said with a grin. "I don't think my knee would thank me."

"Did it help though?" Antonio said, shifting the tone in his voice. "What?" He said, noticing that Connor was still tense.

"Nothing, I just, I feel like I'm doing the right thing giving Sarah space but what if it's too much?"

"Like she's going to break up with you?" Connor shrugged, sitting on a bench and running his fingers through his hair. "Listen, that girl, she's crazy about you Rhodes, but if I'm being honest? You know the door swings both ways, right?"

* * *

Sarah was glad to be by herself that Monday afternoon as Jason had a doctor's appointment. She had agreed to help Henry and as she made her way over she found herself thinking about Connor. He was respecting her wishes but that didn't mean she liked it, to be honest, she missed talking to him most of all.

Even before they had began dating, he'd been the one person she could trust when all was going haywire in her life.

And now she didn't even have that, because she had allowed Ava to get in her head and she hadn't been completely honest with him.

"Come in Sarah." Henry said as he opened the door for her to come inside. The house was pretty quiet for a Monday afternoon but Henry's siblings were all out for extra curriculars activities until dinner so it was good for him to be alone and focused on his studies.

They worked on their homework, which happened to be less confusing for Henry this time around and he'd confessed to actually enjoying Math for the first time in his life.

Not that he'd ever admit to Sarah that it had been Claire and not her who'd done it.

"I'm sorry that I have to go to practice, but Antonio would kill me if I missed it again." Henry offered as he walked Sarah to his car to drive her home.

"Would you mind if I come?" Sarah asked suddenly. Henry smiled.

"Oh, no problem but it's no fun unless Antonio is yelling at us."

"Well I kind of want to surprise Jay and Will and dust off my knowledge for the next game."

"If you are sure…" Henry opened the door for her and they drove, mostly in silence as they both had other things in mind. "Huh, that's weird." Henry commented as he parked over once they got there. Sarah only took a second to register what Henry was talking about.

She'd recognize that car anywhere.

They made their way inside, spotting Connor with the rest of the team. "Hermann, good go gear up, hey there Sarah."

"Hi." She said. "Is it okay if I just watch?"

"Oh for sure. You'll like me yelling at your boyfriend."

Sarah's heart took a turn. She honestly wasn't sure if Connor was still her boyfriend.

She wasn't sure he was her anything.

"Rhodes, hey!" Jeff spat at him almost kicking him over with the puck when he noticed Sarah. Connor brushed it off and skated toward Henry.

"What's Sarah doing here?" He asked.

"I'm not entirely sure, but more importantly. What are you you?"

"I just… needed it."

"Something happened?"

"I tried talking to Ava." Connor hissed. "I'm just hoping Sarah doesn't hate me even more."

"She doesn't hate you C, trust me." Henry smiled. "I mean I know you want to give her space and all but maybe it's the perfect opportunity to talk?" Connor glanced over at Sarah.

He remained on the ice the rest of practice and it didn't go unnoticed that Sarah was watching him. "I'll see you?" He told Henry who smiled and joined the others for a team back with Antonio.

"You haven't gotten that bad Rhodes, even with a busted knee." Antonio called for him as Henry shot him another look. He sighed, getting out of the rink and getting a bench to the back to get out of the skates.

"You were amazing out there." He was surprised to find Sarah smiling at him.

"I was?" He asked with a shy smile.

"Yeah, you looked happy too." She admitted sitting beside him.

"It's something I really miss to be honest."

There was a long silence between them. "Is Henry driving you home?"

"I… I'm not sure." She told him.

"I could take you if you want? It's getting late and I'm sure they'll be there awhile." He motioned to the lockers.

She nodded and they walked out quietly until reaching the car.

As always he got the door for her and Sarah smiled, getting back inside like nothing had changed.

Only it seemed everything had.

"Sarah, I'm…"

"Sorry? Yeah me too." She sighed. "Is this what we are now? Long silences and apologies?"

"I don't know." He admitted.

"I don't know either. But it sucks." He turned the car on and Only Us began playing, it was their song.

"I screwed up, didn't I?" He piped up. "I should have been the one to tell Ava off, not Emily."

Sarah could see he wasn't himself, actually, right now he seemed more like the way she was when she'd first come to Chicago. "I asked you not to, you were too involved and my Mom said…"

"My Mom said that if you wanted space I should just give it to you but now I'm sure, the truth is, I miss you."

"I miss you too." She turned to look at him and his blue eyes sparkled in the early March afternoon. "So much, it's even a little pathetic."

"Try a lot." He mused with a sad smile.

"The thing is, I don't know how to fix it and I'm not used to not being able to."

"I know." Sarah leaned closer, turning on her seat. "I don't either. Truth is, I let Ava get in my head and make me believe that maybe she was right. That I just didn't belong in your world, so I pushed you away, so that maybe it would be easier."

"Easier to what?" He asked, almost afraid.

"To let you go." She hadn't noticed he too had moved closer.

"The thing is Sarah, I'm not sure I can let you do that." He offered her a smile. "Not without a fight." She held her breath as his lips were on her cheek and then made their way down.

Sarah felt herself blush as Connor kissed her even more deeply than she even thought possible. "I should, uh… take you home." Connor said breaking the kiss.

They drove in silence, but their fingers touched here and there until they reached Sarah's house.

"So…" Sarah bit her lip as Connor parked. Her Mom and Jason weren't home yet.

"So.." he walked to the door, taking her hand in hers and she held it, not even letting it go as they reached the threshold "I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah, see you. " he smiled, leaning to kiss her softly on the cheek.

"Connor…"

"What?" He asked worriedly as she moved her face as his lips just graced her skin. "Is this not…"

"You're too noble for your own good sometimes, you know?" She smirked and he raised an eyebrow at her but she just smiled, linking her arms around his neck and kissed him.

Connor could have stayed like that forever if it wasn't because they both needed to breathe.

"I love you." He said brushing her cheek with his finger. "You know that, don't you? I'm just really sorry about everything, I hope you can believe that.

"I love you too." She smiled shyly as she hugged him. "And let's just agree we're Connor and Sarah and not someone people makes us out to be?"

"Agreed." He whispered.

Sarah made a mental note of his smile as he got in the car and drove.

She could just picture Emily's face.

She was going to die.

* * *

 **Aww Rheese is on the mend, oh and did Henry and Claire just go on a date or is that just us who think that?!**

 **Also, Finally, Rheese are happy together again. Yay!**


	34. Chapter 34

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 34**

Emily did in fact nearly burst with excitement the next day at school, getting some very weird looks off some senior guys as she jumped up and down on the spot clapping her hands and squealing when she noticed Sarah and Connor coming down the hallway hand in hand.

Even though Sarah felt sort of self conscious about it, since apparently the entire study body kept tabs on their relationship, but overall she was just glad to have Connor back beside her.

They had texted late into the night on Sarah's secret old phone, her mother could never know, not with all the Ava drama going down but it felt just like before everything went off track.

They caught up on what was happening in each other's lives, how Elizabeth was doing, how the extra classes Sarah was taking were going and even bringing up things they hadn't known before. Like that Sarah had been bullied in her old school and how Connor always looked up to his sister growing up and lately the two of them had seemed to get along better.

Specially after the night of the Gala, which he still hadn't told her about, he wasn't ready.

"Aw isn't today a great day?" Emily gushed to Jay.

"Eh...I guess so?"

"Be a bit more upbeat Halstead." She shoved him playfully. "Rheese is alive and well, it's an excellent day."

He sent the pair in question a smile, "Yeah sure, nice to see things back to normal."

The seating plan didn't go back to normal like Sarah thought it would eventually. Even with her and Connor back on better terms, their friends still were a mismatched group of sophomores and juniors. Natalie and Monique were chatting about some TV show they were obsessing over. Will, Jay Henry and Connor were intensely talking hockey and Emily and Sarah were catching up with Gabby being busy having a boyfriend.

Henry kept checking his phone every five seconds.

"Everything okay Henry?" Sarah asked.

"What? Oh yeah." He mumbled.

"I'm really happy Mr Downey is letting us take that make up test, at least we get another week to study huh?" Sarah beamed at him.

"I don't know why you have to study." Emily rolled her eyes with a smile, "If I got a B plus my parents would be _ecstatic_."

"Well, yeah, but…" Sarah started, not sure how to say she wanted her grades back on track with her usual A's without hurting her feelings.

"But it's not your usual A's right?" Emily suggested.

Sarah smiled, "Maybe… I sort want to make my Mom happy I guess."

"Are you texting Claire?" Connor asked when Henry's phone lit up from where it sat between the two best friends.

Sarah had never seen Henry grab his phone and put it away as quickly before. "No. I mean yeah...Dad asked me to invite her over some evening now she's in college close by…"

"Oh. Okay." Connor shrugged and went back to his conversation but Sarah noticed the red in Henry's cheeks and the nervous glance he gave the phone before a smile blossomed on his face while he read the message.

* * *

"Hey, you want to come over to my house for a while?" Connor asked as they walked to his car after school, James had taken Jason to his doctor check up appointment.

Sarah paused, while she was glad they were together again she wasn't sure she could just fall back completely into their routine. What if Katie thought she was overdramatic now? What if Elizabeth didn't want her complaining about Ava?

Connor sensed her hesitation. "How about we go to that coffee shop around the block?"

"You know that sounds perfect."

As they stepped into the coffee shop it felt like traveling back in time. Even if it had only been a few months ago, back when she was unsure they were even friends.

"So...Emily seems happy." Connor stated with a laugh.

"Yeah a little bit. I think she feels kind of lonely since Gabby and Matt Casey started dating."

"Ah I see. It was like me and Henry when Nat started dating Jeff." Connor mentioned as they made their order.

"How are things between them?" Sarah asked, she never liked to bring up Jeff with Natalie but she was worried.

Connor shrugged kind of hopelessly, "I don't know. His parents are making him be around more. And since that hospital visit, he at least calls her sometimes so that's good...i just hope she doesn't get her hopes up too much."

They got their drinks and sat down. The silence was odd. It wasn't uncomfortable but it wasn't totally comfortable either, it felt more tentative.

Connor reached out to hold Sarah's hand. His fingers brushed against the leather bracelet still on her wrist. Even when things were off between them she still hadn't taken it off.

"What?" She asked shyly. Connor smiled. "Do I have something on my face?"

"Nope, I just missed you. I missed this, us." He held her hand and played with it. "I missed the kind of person I am with you. It might be self centered…"

"You are the less self centered person I know, who actually thinks they are." Sarah put in.

"I'm not sure that I am, but okay." He huffed.

"Connor, trust me you are. Don't let people tell you otherwise."

He nodded. "So, what are we meant to do now?"

"I guess I could kiss you?"

"I'd like that." She smiled. He leaned to brush her lips softly, respecting the amount of PDA she had always been shy about, but the fact that they were not at Molly's gave Sarah a bit more confidence so she smiled into the kiss and deepened it a little.

They talked a bit more, about everything and nothing and it just felt like before but not quite. "So, I've been wanting to ask you something." Connor said getting the check. "There's this thing, my friend Peter is having for his birthday…"

"Peter? Your friend from Lakeshore?" He'd mentioned him alongside other names like Adam and Kim. He was a childhood friend he'd had forever and according to Connor he had insisted he had to be at his party.

"I get it if you don't want to go."

"No, I want to." She assured him. It was time she made herself part of his world. It terrified her, but she'd do it for him, just so that they could get through whatever this had been.

He got her back home and they didn't you touch on Ava or where they stood.

It was still to fresh or too weird but they would have to talk again eventually.

Surprisingly with Ava being missing from school over that week and the next, all seemed to be falling back into place, consisting of stolen glances and kisses that continued to escalate as they grew closer again, honestly, Sarah felt as if she was able to breathe again.

 _But only for so long as she felt herself overthinking just why would Ava miss school in the middle of March. What exactly could she be up to?_

Connor had admitted to her the conversation he'd had that afternoon they had made up and Sarah had been grateful he'd told her.

It actually made them feel more comfortable with each other again, Connor was the one person she could still turn to.

The Friday before Peter's party rolled around as they walked over to his car so he could drive her home, James would be keeping Jason the entire weekend and he'd had half a day so his Dad had picked him up earlier.

Sarah smiled softly when Connor put on some music and drove. His car had become like this big deal in their relationship, the place where a lot had happened and so much hadn't yet. "You want to come in for a bit?" Sarah asked as he walked her to the door.

Connor hesitated."I have to go get Nat for her doctor's appointment."

she'd totally forgotten about that. "Oh, it's just you going with her?"

"No, her Mom is meeting us there? I'm sorry, but I promised her…"

"Of course, go. I'll see you tomorrow?" She said, playing with his fingers as she held his hand.

"Yeah, pick you up at 7?" He grinned at her her and as much as she had wanted to chicken out about going, it was a losing battle when he looked at her like that.

And even more when he kissed her like they were the only people in the world.

"Drive safe and tell Nat hi for me?" Sarah said as they broke apart.

"I will." He kissed her again and made his way over to the car.

Sarah walked up to her room and let her mind wander over the next day.

 _How exactly was she going to manage to not make a fool of herself in front of Connor's friends?_

 _To her he was just Connor_

 _To the world, he was Connor Rhodes._

* * *

"So, are you sure you want to find out honey?" Carol asked her daughter as they waited for the nurse to call them in.

"Yeah, at least I'll know." Nat said. Her mom nodded and went to call on someone, leaving her alone with Connor.

"Just a warning, I asked Jeff to come." She said warily.

"Fine, I'll behave." He promised with a small smile which she returned.

"I can't believe Mom has done this five times." Natalie sighed tiredly.

"I can't believe she's so calm about the whole thing, honestly."

"Well, I wasn't exactly planned either." Natalie confessed and Connor's eyes widened. "I heard my parents talking about me the other night…"

"That's a mental picture I'm not sure I needed." Connor mused.

"Right, subject change. How are things going with Sarah?"

Connor smiled at the mention of her. "Better, I invited her to Peter Mill's party and she said yes."

"She did?"

"Yep, I know it's not really her thing but I want to show her that I want her to be part of that world too, no matter what people say."

"Wow, I mean it must be a lot of pressure for someone as introvert as Sarah." Nat commented as Connor's face fell. "No, I mean it's great that she's trying but she must really like you."

Connor smirked. "Thanks?"

"I don't mean it like that…."

"No, I get it, but I want to show her that she has nothing to worry about."

Natalie smiled. "So it is serious."

"I thought we'd already established that." He mused.

"Right, the bracelet… you know I thought Jeff would be the one I gave it to, but maybe it's not meant to be, even if we have this baby to raise."

Connor sighed. "I don't even know what I'd do if I was in Jeff's position."

Natalie stared at him. "Have you and Sarah…"

"No, we haven't even gotten to that conversation but I do wonder, even with all my father's money, which I'm sure he'd rip me off from, it would still be a lot."

"'Not to mention your Mom would kill you."

"Yeah, that's even more scary but I mean I would still want to make things right."

"Sarah's a lucky girl." Nat told him with a smile.

Their conversation was cut short by Carol calling for them. Connor helped Natalie up and over to the small room.

"Nat, honey how are you feeling?"

"Okay, my feet hurt a little." Dr. Mars smiled. "And who's this?" She looked at Connor as Natalie settled on the examining table.

"Not the baby's father, just the best friend." Connor said.

"I see, well best friend, it's good that you are here." She glanced at Natalie kindly. "Are we waiting for someone else?"

"I'll go see if Jeff is here." Connor offered. Natalie's eyes widened. "It will be okay."

She nodded as he walked out, he scanned the room in search of him, strangely enough he found him rather quickly, he was here and apparently in time but he hadn't seemed able to go in. "Jeff?"

The eyes of the older boy reacted at the sound of someone calling his name. Connor sighed, trying to control his temper. "Nat's already inside."

"I should have figured you would be here." Jeff sneered at him.

"Natalie asked me to, but there's a reason she called you. You are that baby's father."

Jeff sighed. "Better late than ever huh? Come on, gloat, I know you want to."

Connor leaned next to him by the wall and sighed. "You are here now aren't you?"

Jeff nodded and walked away, with Connor following closely.

Natalie sighed loudly when both of them came back. "Everything okay I hope?" Dr. Mars smiled. "You must be Jeff. Let's see now, we're all agreeing to want to know the baby's sex, right?"

Connor stood behind Natalie as Jeff took the place next to her and offered her his hand.

Carol watched them all closely as the doctor shared a knowing look with her.

"Okay, so let's first check out how everything is going." Dr. Mars began her examination. "Baby's heartbeat is strong and size is normal for the six month growth."

She smiled as she noticed something else on the sonogram. "And it looks like you are having a boy."

* * *

"Thanks for coming Emily." Sarah told her friend as they climbed the stairs to Sarah's bedroom after Susan had answered the door to make sure it was actually Emily.

Sarah couldn't really blame her Mom for being overly cautious about her visitors, given what had happened last time.

"Are you kidding me? Like I would miss helping you get ready for some rich kid's crazy party!" Emily stated as they stepped into the bombsite that was Sarah's room. She had practically every item of clothing she owned scattered everywhere. She even sneaked some of her Mom's clothes in too.

Emily flickered through the clothes while the two girls chatted away like old times.

"You know this is a completely different world, everyone knows everyone, everyone knows how you got your money and how much you have. And you think Tate and his keg were bad at my party? I've seen things get a lot crazier at parties like these."

"How…?" Sarah didn't even have to finish her question for Emily to answer.

She shrugged one shoulder like it was no big deal but Sarah could see her glance out the window like she was seeing it all over again. "You hear about everything growing up in Foster Homes. I had these foster brother onnce well, anyway, stay away from any type of bar, keep your head up and do not show weakness."

Sarah gulped, "Uh huh."

"And show me your walk." Emily instructed.

"My...what?"

"You're going to have to wear heels."

"But I can't really walk in them…"

"That's what Connor's for. Also keep him on your arm. Those girls are not to be trusted."

If Sarah wasn't looking forward to the night before, she certainly wasn't now.

"It's just his friend's party…"

"Yeah okay, that's true, Connor wouldn't drop you in the deep end straight away, but you have to let me help you shop for a dress when you go to your first gala."

Sarah just wanted to deal with one thing at a time. And she still had to find an outfit for that night.

Emily went in search of clothes and came back with an old black dress of Susan's, it was too small for her, but she still kept it.

"Okay this, I can work with." Emily announced, Susan followed her back into Sarah's room.

"Are you sure you need my clothes?" She sounded worried.

Sarah shrugged in uncertainty as Emily flew around the room, picking up belts and accessories like a hurricane.

"You shouldn't need to be anyone else, or dress in other people's clothes to impress Connor." Susan said, with her hands on her hips.

"Oh we're not trying to impress connor." Emily stated as if it were obvious, "We're trying to impress his fancy rich friends."

An hour later, with hair and makeup done, Monique had to be phoned for instructions on how to get the perfect smokey eyed effect, Sarah was ready to go.

She had her hair down and somehow Emily had got it to nearly sparkle in the lights, and she had taken a scissors to her Mom's dress, leaving the black dress with thin shoulder straps and looking like it had sequins sewn into it, catching the light, with a belt clinching her waist.

She borrowed a pair of Emily's black high heels that thankfully weren't _too_ tall. Still too high to be comfortable but not tall enough that she wouldn't be able to even stand in them.

"Oh my work here is done." Emily smiled, snapping a picture.

"Thanks Emily."

"Oh just call me your Fairy Godmother." Emily giggled. "Have a great time."

* * *

Sarah paced the hallway, waiting for Connor to arrive and ignoring her mother's disapproving glances after Emily had gone home, making Sarah promise to give her details later.

Five minutes early and he arrived, with flowers.

"Wow, hi, you look amazing." He beamed as he kissed her on the cheek, "Not that you don't all the time, I mean but…"

"I get it, thanks." She laughed softly as he rambled on, being the sweetheart that he was. She took the flowers from him and her Mom appeared at her shoulder with a vase for them.

"Curfew is at eleven remember?" She asked the pair.

"Yes Mrs Reese." Connor replied solemnly.

"Yes Mom." Sarah echoed.

"Good, enjoy your evening." She kissed Sarah's head and waved them off from the door.

Connor, to his credit, seemed to notice her higher than normal shoes and offered her his arm to climb down the front steps.

"I must look like a deer on ice." Sarah lamented, "But Emily said they look good and…."

"Sarah, you look great, I just thought I'd be a good boyfriend." He smiled, "And your perfume smells amazing," He grinned as he leaned in to kiss her cheek again before opening the door for her to get in. Sarah was glad, the perfume was actually hers and her favorite one.

"And thanks for coming with me tonight." He smiled, squeezing her hand before starting up his car.

"I'm looking forward to it." She tried to reassure him but he sent her a look to say that he wasn't buying her lie at all.

"Okay, so I'm nervous, this isn't exactly my usual Friday night you know."

"I know, that's why I appreciate you coming along." He said, "And don't worry, everyone will love you. Claire should actually be coming too, she's friends with Peter's sister."

At least she would know someone there.

He pulled up at a house that made Emily and Ethan's house in the suburbs look like a dollhouse.

Connor, being a gentleman, wrapped her hand around his arm and led her up the stairs toward the huge doors. He pressed the buzzer and they were met by a huge man in black clothes. Security.

Given, Sarah had never been to many parties but she was pretty sure most parties didn't have their own security.

The music hit her as soon as they were granted access. She could feel the music more than her own heartbeat. Her hand soon curled into a death grip on Connor's arm as she suddenly doubted if she could do this at all.

"Hey," He said in her ear so she could hear him, curling an arm around her waist to pull her close, "You look great, and tonight will be fun." He smiled. "I promise."

"Sure." She tried to give him a convincing smile.

He didn't move the hand from her waist and walked into one of the apparently many reception rooms. There was quite a crowd, people talking, dancing, drinking. Only for the smell of expensive perfume and the tailored clothes, Sarah mused that it could have been any old people party.

"Hey Peter." Connor called over the crowd and a boy with short cropped hair looked over his shoulder.

"Rhodes! You made it!" He boomed, and Sarah watched as they exchanged some sort of special handshake culminating in a 'bro hug'. "And this must be Sarah?" Peter turned his huge grin towards her. "Great to finally meet you, I've heard a lot about you." He pointed at her before pulling her in like they were old friends. "Alright, I'm getting you drinks, what do you want?"

"Just two sodas man." Connor said.

"Really? Word is, you like stronger stuff now man but alright. Be right back." He said, disappearing into the crowd.

"What does he mean?" Sarah asked curiously.

"Nothing, don't worry about it." Connor said grimly guiding her into the room as he came back with their drinks. They sat beside Peter and a couple other kids

"Enjoyed yourself the other day at the Gala, Rhodes?" A boy who identified himself as Nathan asked, Sarah raised an eyebrow up. "We didn't see you much."

"I'm sure it was boring right?" Peter offered. He'd been told by Ingrid part of what had happened, not that he'd asked Connor directly just yet.

"Well sucking up to our parents artist friends is never fun." Nathan commented and Sarah noticed Connor relaxing beside her.

"So Sarah, how's Chicago been treating you?" Peter asked. "How do you like the city?"

"Well, for one it's big, I grew up in a small town so it's a little intimidating." She admitted. "But beautiful."

"And I bet it doesn't hurt to have this one as your main tour guide." Nathan smirked. "His street ways work wonders."

"Ah yes, the public system can do that to you." Peter added. "But also, he's always been smarter than the rest of us, although Lakeshore isn't just the same without you man." Connor smiled at his friends and took a sip of his drink while Sarah's hand held his free one.

Someone called for Peter and he excused himself with a charming smile. "Okay so I have to go mingle some more. Not that I wouldn't want to hear more about you Sarah? We'll catch up later?"

"Uh, sure." She answered and Peter offered her another smile.

"I better go find Joanie or she'll never forgive me." Nathan put in. "Be right back."

And with that, they were left alone.

Sarah sighed. "Sorry, they never stop talking."

"No, I like them." Sarah said with a small smile.

"Yeah, they're harmless, a little over the head but we've always been friends." Connor admitted.

"Oh, there you are. Pete told me you were here." A voice said behind the pair as a girl appeared. "Little Connor Rhodes, since when did you get taller than me?"

"Hey Ingrid." Connor said standing up and accepting the hug she was offering, making Sarah feel a bit awkward as she too tried to stand with Connor's help.

Emily's voice echoing in her head.

"Don't hey Ingrid me. Who's this?" Her smile got directed at Sarah when they broke apart.

"This is Sarah." Connor said with an instant smile. "Sarah, this is Peter's sister."

"Oh, Claire wasn't joking. She's cute." Sarah blushed. "How are you Sarah? A little lost I figure?"

Sarah smiled shyly. "Don't worry, after your first time, it gets easier." Ingrid assured her. She sat with them for a while and they talked about school for which she seemed really interested and honestly intrigued by the public system, which made Sarah a bit feel more comfortable.

"So I heard Ava switched schools last summer? Stalker much?" She joked and Connor tensed up beside Sarah as she tried to control her emotions. "She's always has had this obsession with Connor." Ingrid said as if Sarah wasn't well aware of it. "Not that she'd ever deserve him." Ingrid confirmed. "She'd have to go through all of us."

Connor blushed slightly as she felt Sarah shifting in her seat as he brushed her hand reassuringly. "I'm sorry, I tend to babble, I'm sure you don't want to hear about her." Ingrid said as she noticed the demeanour on both of them. "I hope he's treating you right, this one."

Sarah smiled. "Yeah, he's.. pretty amazing, actually."

Connor felt actual butterflies in his stomach.

"Aww, young love. You two are so cute. Listen I better go find Kim. You haven't seen your sister, have you?" Ingrid said standing up as the other two imitated her.

"No, we came separately."

"Oh, well she must be around her somewhere. I'll see you guys later? Don't do anything I wouldn't, hear?"

Connor rolled his eyes at Ingrid's playful glare as she left and Sarah felt herself turn a little red. As they sat back down, his attention turned to his girlfriend. "Are you okay? I'm sorry she tends to talk about the less appropriate things."

It wasn't like it was public knowledge that Ava was had been bullying her. To Ingrid it seemed she was just an annoying younger girl.

"I'm fine." She assured him, leaning to kiss his cheek. "Really, I am." She insisted when he gave her a weary look. "And I really like your friends."

"You do?"

"Yeah." She said. "Emily was worried for nothing."

"Emily?" He inquired.

"Well she said I should…" and then she explained a bit of the list of do's and don'ts her friend had laid out.

Connor laughed, turning on his seat so that he was facing her. "You know I'd never put you on the spot or anything, right?"

"No, I know, but I guess I just wanted to fit in a little."

"You do." He assured her, touching her chin. "Want another drink?"

"Oh, sure." She said, he took her hand in his and with a gentle squeeze assured her he'd be back.

She didn't dare to walk much on those heels, no matter how much she didn't want to be left alone.

* * *

Connor glanced back at Sarah as he met Peter on his way over to the bar. "So, what do you think?"

"Not too much alcohol for what I can see." Connor let out and Peter rolled his eyes.

Hey, the night is young, plus I'm one step closer to 18." He commented. "You can drink when you are 18 in most parts of the world."

"So, you are leaving?" Connor asked and Peter shrugged.

"If it was up to my Dad, he'd had me shipped to Europe by now."

"Well, you're the one who wants to be a chef; it's not like your dad is forcing you into the business... Not right away, anyway." Connor added bitterly.

Peter's family had one of the most successful restaurant chains in the city, but his Dad wasn't anything like Cornelius. He actually liked his son.

"I take it Daddy dearest is being a pain in the ass?"

"More than usual." Connor huffed.

"And what does he think about Sarah?"

"He hasn't actually even met her." He said grimly. "To him, she's not Ava Bekker."

"Ouch. I'm sorry man. I heard Ava is still at your school though, how's that going?"

They both glanced over at Sarah. "She's suing the school."

"What?" Peter choked out. "Why? Because you won't date her?"

"Something like that." Connor sighed.

"That's messed up man, even for us. " Connor nodded as he got the drinks. "Hey, look there's your sister." Connor glanced back on the direction he was pointing and saw Sarah talking to Claire and Kim who had seemed to have found her. "You better get back man."

"Yeah, I'll find you later?" He offered.

"For sure."

Connor patted Peter on the shoulder and headed back. "Connor, you know better than to leave a girl alone." Kim scolded him.

"Sorry, Pete was…"

"That's okay." Sarah assured him.

"No. It's not. Good thing we found her. You know better Rhodes." Ingrid joked to Connor's annoyance.

"Leave them alone. Let's go find Adam and the guys, see you later little brother." Claire said shooting a smile Sarah's way.

"I'm really sorry, drinks took forever and Peter…"

"Connor, really you don't have to apologize, it's okay if you want to see your friends." She told him.

"I'd rather dance with you." He commented trying to shift the conversation. Sarah's face turned to panic.

"Ah, I'm not sure I can even stand on straight in these heels." She said in embarrassment. Connor smiled.

"That's…" He reached down to the side of the couch they were sitting at and smiled. "What these are for." He handed her a pair of slippers.

Sarah had only seen those at her aunts weddings. "What?" He asked. "It was Ingrid's idea I'm sure."

"I don't know Connor." She said biting her lip.

"Okay, we don't have to."

"No, I just mean, what if I lose the shoes, my Mom would kill me." She tried to explain as his stare was soft but she could see there was a glint of disappointment plastered on it.

"Here." He offered as she allowed him to take her shoes off and place the slippers in. Sarah felt a shiver run through her as he touched her leg. "Is that better?"

Sarah actually sighed in relief, it didn't matter if she was way shorter now. She really wanted to dance with her boyfriend.

"Oh, nice Sarah." Kim called as she saw them making their way over to where Claire, Adam and Ingrid stood. "You all ready to dance huh?"

"I'm… I'm honestly not sure." She admitted shyly.

"Nonsense, you are with us now." Ingrid said. "Give me the shoes, I'll keep them safe yeah, you just enjoy yourself."

Sarah had to blink at the kindness. She smiled as her eyes focused back on Connor's. "That was weird, how did she…"

Connor just smiled and pulled her closer, for the first time all night she allowed him to place a sweet kiss on her lips. "Ingrid's thrown a couple parties herself." Connor explained. "She likes to be prepared."

"Of course." Sarah mused as they danced slowly. Having lost the others of the group to the side.

"So, are you having a good time?" Connor asked.

"I am." She said, leaning her head into his chest. They danced slowly for a little while.

"Thanks for coming with me."

"Thanks for inviting me. Your friends are, nothing like all these pictures I had in my head." Sarah admitted to him.

"I'm glad." He said.

But Emily had been right about one thing, crazy stuff could certainly happen in these parties, because just as it all seemed to melt together for Sarah and she began to feel safe, hell broke loose as someone called for Connor to come and help and Claire stood beside Sarah with her friends. "Connor…" His sister warned but he ignored her.

Someone had broken into a fight outside. "Rhodes!" Peter called for him and Claire watched her brother instruct Sarah to stay close as he went to help his friend.

"It will be okay." Ingrid assured her as she grabbed her phone, she was probably calling security. Claire just hoped Connor wouldn't see himself in the middle of the fight as she begged for Adam to go check it out.

"I'm not the police…" Adam mumbled with a sigh as he had to put down his drink and go sort out the fight.

"Thank you Adam." Claire called.

Adam grinned over his shoulder, "At this rate it seems like I am a Rhodes' personal security guard."

"What?" Sarah asked.

"Nothing you want to know. Don't pay any attention." Kim reassured her. "So are you now part of the exclusive Elizabeth Rhodes group huh?" She asked with a smile.

"Excuse me?" Sarah asked.

"Kim is talking about the Mannings and Herrmann's, she's fascinated that we have friends that aren't part of this social circle." Claire clarified.

"What? It's interesting!" Kim protested. "Anyway, I hear Claire's stealing your tutor subjects now?" Kim grinned.

"It was a one time thing. I just helped Henry out with his maths study." Claire said.

 _So maybe that was what Claire had been texting Henry about, Sarah thought to herself._

Any further discussion about Henry was interrupted when Adam pushed Peter and Connor back into the room. "Alright, alright, you broke up the fight, so that's enough. Security's got it."

"Are you okay?" Sarah asked Connor who didn't look injured.

"Yeah some stupid fight between two guys over some girl. We just broke it up."

"Look at us all responsible, if only our parents could see us now eh Rhodes?" Peter laughed punching Connor in the arm. "Breaking up the fights, not starting them!"

"Heh, yeah…" Connor cringed and avoided Sarah's eye.

Sure it wasn't perfect that Connor didn't have a spotless history but what really mattered was that he had changed.

"Is that Ethan?" She asked under her breath, giving Connor a change of subject, when she spotted the older boy over Connor's shoulder.

He looked behind him, "Yeah it is."

"Who?" Adam asked.

"The guy with Vicky goes to school with us." Connor explained but Sarah was still at a loss.

"Hey, Vick! I was thinking you weren't going to turn up!" Peter called as he half walked, half stumbled over to the pair. Sarah was glad she was sticking to soda.

"Vicky and Peter's families are inseparable, she's always been around. She must be dating Ethan?" Connor mused, his arm back in place at Sarah's waist. She liked the comforting feeling of having him there to lean on.

It was an odd sort of an encounter when Peter eventually dragged the two over to the group and Ethan realised he had been seen.

Sarah thought it looked like an alternate universe version of Ethan who was _smiling_. It wasn't that he wasn't nice in school, he was, but he was always so serious. Now he was wearing a button down shirt, his hand in Vicky's and a grin on his face.

"Hey Connor, Sarah." Ethan nodded, and Sarah was pretty sure he was blushing in the dim light.

"Hi Ethan." Sarah smiled.

"Hey man." Connor nodded, "Didn't know you were coming here."

"Neither did I, this one has been keeping the fact that she has a boyfriend under wraps." Peter threw an arm around Vicky.

"It's not like it's a secret." Vicky told Ethan more than Peter.

"How'd you two meet?" Kim interjected, trying to diffuse the sudden tension, with a smile.

"Oh, we both volunteer at the same shelter." Vicky said.

Ethan, the guy Sarah would not have guessed would _gush_ , took the chance to share the story of how they started dating.

Sarah was glad, she could lean into Connor's embrace and take a breather out of the spotlight and enjoy the conversation.

After another hour of intermittent dancing and the conversation coming easier to Sarah around Connor's friends, the time seemed to fly by.

It was only ten o'clock but Connor asked if she was ready to go.

"Really?" She asked with her eyebrows raised, she had finally relaxed and by all accounts she was sure they were both having a good time. She couldn't wait to tell Emily all about it. They had plenty of time to get home.

"I don't want to chance being late with your Mom, there could be traffic and I don't want to get you in trouble again." He said.

With that statement, he practically melted her heart and so they started saying their goodbyes.

Ingrid slipped her shoes back to her, insisting multiple times that Sarah had to join them all more often. She got a bear hug off Peter and Claire walked them to the door.

"Drive safe, let me know when you're home." She told Connor who just stared at her.

"I know, I know, who am I to talk right? But humor me, I'm getting back on this 'big sister' train. It was great to see you Sarah." She waved them off.

The night was chilly and Sarah used it as an excuse to practically snuggle into Connor's side during the short walk back to his car.

Whatever tension had been between them was definitely thawing away and she couldn't be happier about it.

* * *

 **Sooo Rheese seem to be getting back on track and our little Sarah just went to her first fancy party. We also met a few new other characters that fit into the story.**

 **What did you think?**


	35. Chapter 35

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 35**

"You look a little pale Sweetie, are you sure you're okay to go to school?" Susan asked her daughter the following Monday morning.

But no matter how unwell Sarah was feeling, she couldn't miss school, she had too much to catch up on.

Jason had been sick on Saturday and demanded to come home so Sarah could make him toast and he could sit with his Mom and watch old Transformers episodes so whatever cold virus he had, Sarah was feeling the effects of it that morning.

But she had to go over all the things she hadn't been concentrating on properly during the entire Ava ordeal, as well as the new material they would be starting _and_ going back over the material for Downey's make up test. She _would not_ settle for less than her best.

"I'm fine Mom, it's just a cold." She sneezed, which didn't really help her argument but her Mom got a call from work right on time.

The two Reese siblings hopped on their much love bus for school. She tried to keep her distance from poor Will, she didn't want to spread it around.

Every slight bump in the road felt like it rattled her bones and it felt like her head was stuffed with cotton wool. But she needed to get to school.

"Are you sure you're okay Reese?" Will asked as she sneezed again. All she could do was nod and give him a watery smile.

Plus she couldn't miss a day, have the news get back to Ava and for the other girl to think she was scaring Sarah off. Truthfully, the fact that Ava wasn't in school just made Sarah more worried but she tried not to think about it too much.

"Morning." Connor said, as he sneaked up behind her and kissed her cheek.

She jumped away, putting her hand out between them. "Don't come near me, you'll get sick." She sniffled.

His expression changed to worried in an instant.

She hated thinking it but she did, Ava would have certain things to say about her appearance right now, and she nearly didn't want Connor to see her like this, not after the glamour of Friday night.

She was in her biggest sweatshirt, her eyes were red as she didn't get much sleep because of her stuffy nose and cough and her voice was raspy. Hardly attractive.

"Is there anything I can do?" He asked.

"No, I just have to get through today and get my notes and go home and sleep." Suddenly the day seemed to stretch out in front of her like it was never ending.

"Sounds like a plan." Connor said, "But if I can make you feel better, let me know."

Sarah got her books for her classes wishing she could kiss him, that always seemed to do the trick when she was feeling bad.

"Hi you two." Henry called as he joined them for class. Sarah cringed with her ongoing headache, did Henry always talk that _loud?_ "You don't look so good." he stated.

"Thanks." Sarah snorted.

"Shut up, she looks great like always." Connor retorted, ignoring her warnings and wrapping his arm around her, rubbing circles on her arm.

"I didn't mean it like that, I mean you look unwell, are you okay?" Henry asked.

"I'll be fine. I just have to get through today."

* * *

The day dragged past, but also flew. Her mind wasn't up for keeping up quite as quickly as the teachers were giving out information but Connor had made everyone promise to give her their notes if she missed anything.

She finally got home to be met by Jason who just repeated the popular opinion that she didn't look good.

And her Mom had been called back into work.

"I don't think I should leave you alone when you're like this." Sarah only sniffed in response. Her throat was too sore to talk much anymore.

"Connor can come over, Call Connor!" Jason said.

"Connor?" Her Mom asked sceptically.

"Yes, and we can all watch Transformers together like last time."

Sarah winced and it had nothing to do with her headache, she did not want to remind her Mom of when Connor had been over when she wasn't there last time.

"Honey we can't do that, how about your Dad? I need to get to work Jason."

"No! Connor! I want Connor!" Jason's wobbly voice was doing nothing to help her Mom rush to work.

"Fine. Sarah call Connor and ask. But you all stay downstairs, do you understand me young lady?" Her Mom glared.

"Okay." Sarah said with a small voice.

She didn't want to bother him but she called anyway. She knew they were almost back to normal but wouldn't this be pushing it a bit? Having him be there while she didn't feel well and looked horrible?

It didn't really matter because as soon as she asked he said yes.

He arrived a while after her Mom left with a bowl in his hands.

"What's that?" She asked as he handed her the bowl.

"Katie's secret weapon. She makes this chicken soup every time me or Claire so much has had a sniffle, she says it clears away all colds and flu, It works, trust me." He smiled, kissing her cheek.

"Is it magic?" Jason marvelled.

"Sure is Buddy, hey what about a movie? Got any good ones to watch and we'll let Sarah have a rest?"

As Sarah heated up the soup and watched Jason chat animatedly to Connor, she wondered what she ever did before he came into her life.

He seemingly didn't care about her germs and after getting Jason settled in his usual spot on the couch,he placed a cushion on his lap and maneuvered Sarah to lay her head down and rest her eyes. She drifted off after he started tracing his fingers gently along her arm. "You're my hero, did you know that?" She whispered.

"My pleasure." Connor said with a smile. "Close your eyes, I'll be right here."

She drifted in and out of sleep in the next hour. She felt how Connor gently played with her hair.

"Hey." She rasped out turning around to look at him. She was in the perfect angle for a kiss and if she wasn't feeling so miserable, she'd kiss him right on the spot.

"Hi. Are you feeling any better? Do you feel like eating something?"

She'd already had some of Katie's magic soup and was in fact feeling better but she figured it wouldn't hurt.

"Jason, bud. How about some dinner huh?"

"Do you know how to make pasta? Sarah does and it's our favorite." He said in a matter of facty and Connor smiled.

"Pasta it is." Jason bolted to the kitchen to show him where everything was.

"You don't have to…" Sarah coughed from the couch as she struggled with the loss of contact when Connor stood up.

"Yes I do. Try and close your eyes a bit. I'll be back soon." Sarah sighed as he ignored her and continued on his way.

She rested her head back and closed her eyes. Connor's arms woke her from slumber a little later.

"Maybe I should get you up to bed." He told her worriedly.

"No, my Mom would kill us. I need to stay down here." She told him.

"Sarah, you are sick, what does she think we'll do?" She shrugged and he smiled softly at her from his crouched down position.

Another angle for her to take advantage of. "You can kiss me if you want." He told her, Sarah shot him a look. "I know you want to, it's okay, I can handle it." He said sheepishly

"No, I don't want you to get sick." She said, waving her head which pounded crazily. "Where's Jason?"

"I told him he could use the tablet for a little while while dinner is ready." Connor informed her. Sarah glanced over at him again.

"You're so good with him, seriously, he listens to you more than me." She huffed.

"Nah, you are his favorite person in the world and I did learn from the best." He grinned at her as she leaned her head back down and he traced a hand on her cheek. Causing her to close her eyes at his touch, with her eyes closed and before she could register what was happening, she felt his lips on hers. "Connor, you'll get sick…"

"Don't care." He said, placing a hand back on her cheek and brushing her lips again. "Come on, sit up. Pasta is almost done."

"If you get sick…" She warned.

"You'll take care of me?" He smirked.

"Huh, huh. You think you are funny?" She mused as he helped her sit up and went into the kitchen with some food for her, he moved the small table from the side of the couch and placed it in front of her.

"I'll go get Jason." Connor said with a smile as he dashed up upstairs in look of the little boy. They came back a moment later as Sarah was having some pasta mixed with Katie's soup. Sarah smiled as Connor led the little boy to the kitchen and helped him grab his favorite plate and glass, some milk and led him back into the living room.

They settled on watching some Paw Patrol episodes as Jason explained the show to Connor who made a mental note to watch more so he could talk to him about it. "He's really into pets right now." Sarah explained as Connor leaned closer to her as she settled back on the couch."James is thinking about getting him a dog."

Connor's eyes lighted up. "I actually read somewhere that's of big help." Sarah raised an eyebrow and him. "It makes them responsible for someone other than themselves, teaches them empathy."

Sarah really couldn't be more in awe of Connor's big heart. "I love you." She told him.

"I love you too." He said, placing a kiss on her temple.

She drifted to sleep some more in Connor's arms, she was just waking up when Jason said he needed to get ready for bed.

"I'll do it." She announced, throwing the blanket she'd been wearing to the side.

"Connor. I want Connor to tuck me in." Connor's eyes drifted back to Sarah's and she nodded.

"Alright, go get ready buddy, I'll come up in a minute." He said to him and Jason rambled on showing him off some new toys he had.

"Okay, it's official, you are moving in with us, no matter what my Mom says." Sarah laughed tiredly.

Connor smirked. "Now, do you want to go up? I'll leave as soon as Jason is sleep if you want." Sarah bit her lip.

"Okay." She really thought he was going to offer her his hand to make it up the stairs but he swept her off her feet as she giggled painfully from the sore throat. "Connor!"

"What?" I'm perfectly capable of taking you upstairs…" She grinned as he touched her nose with his. He pushed her bedroom door with his foot and placed her gently on the bed after he'd managed to take off the covers. "How's is that?"

"Would be better if you could stay over and cuddle with me." She said playfully.

"I'm not sure your Mom would be okay with that." He mused. "I'll be right back." He squeezed her hand, heading out to check on Jason. She remained in her bed, remembering all about their sleepover and it made her blush. Connor came back about 30 minutes later as she was watching something on the small TV in the room.

"He's not sleep, is he?" She inquired.

"Ah, yeah he is." Connor beamed at her. "Katie's not the only one who has magic powers." He said, biting his lip playfully.

She coughed again as her chest hurt. "Do you have Vapor Rub?" He asked. Sarah almost blushed. "It will help you sleep better."

She didn't fight him, he went back to check on Jason as she changed into her pajamas and he came back to find her tucked in bed.

He'd grabbed some warm milk and a couple pills to help with the headache. "It's in the bathroom." She said referring to the ointment.

"Okay, here." He handed her the pills and a glass of milk. Sarah began to feel self conscious about the fact that her boyfriend was going to see her bare back for the first time and possibly get a glance at her upper chest as well. Connor was so respectful though and rose her shirt slowly as his warm hands touched her neck and her back and then he turned to look her in the eye as she reached for the first button of her shirt. "You can do it if you want." He offered.

"No, I trust you." He did it so with such care, but it didn't mean it didn't cause her body to feel on fire and not from fever.

"A little under the nose also helps." Connor said, tucking her in and sitting beside her on the bed once he was done.

"You're really good at this." She said. Connor smiled softly. "Maybe you should be a doctor."

"Oh yeah, like my Dad is going to ever approve of that." He mused.

"It doesn't matter. I think you have a gift, you are caring and dedicated and in some ways you do have magic powers. Jason doesn't let just anyone tuck him in." Sarah said taking his hand. "Dr. Rhodes, kind of has a ring to it, doesn't it?" She mused. "And plus, you are cute."

"So, that entitles that I'd be a good doctor?" Connor laughed.

"It doesn't really hurt, does it?" Connor smiled. "Thank you for today," She told him kissing his cheek as she snuggled closer until she finally drifted to sleep.

Connor was gone as soon as her Mom got home and although she met him with a weary glance when he told her he'd just taken Sarah up, he just excused himself.

"Connor?" He turned on his head. "Thank you. Have a good night." He nodded and politely said his goodbyes getting to his car.

 _Dr. Connor Rhodes? He could make that work._

* * *

Sarah had missed the next two days of school and they seemed to move slower for Connor who was not oblivious to the fact that Ava was missing school again, she used to skip classes at Lakeshore but never two weeks.

He was determined to find out exactly just what was going on. He made it home after school on Wednesday, strangely enough his father's car was parked in the driveway.

Connor went in carefully just in case Cornelius was in his office. "Connor?"

 _Crap._

It was Claire though. He turned around sighing. "He's been in there since he got home. Katie told me he didn't even want lunch."

"What is he doing?" Connor asked and his sister shrugged. "Is Mom up?"

"No, she just drifted off." Claire said, she could read something was bothering her little brother. "Want to talk about something?"

"No… wait, how did you know?" He inquired.

"Well, you got this look on your face, like a stormy thing in the eyes." Claire pointed out.

"Sarah says that too." Connor admitted and Claire smiled.

"Well, I'm not Sarah or Mom, but maybe I could help?"

They made it into the back of the house to Connor's old tree house, they figured it would be the last place Cornelius would look for them. Connor slipped up his jacket as the weather got colder and Claire smiled as the two of them leaned on the railing. Connor then proceeded to tell Claire about Ava and how she hadn't been to school in the last few weeks, His sister who had been frequenting her friends now that she was in the Chicago area said she hadn't seen her either.

"Maybe they finally committed her, I mean she's always been crazy?" Claire offered.

"It's not funny Claire." Connor shot back. "This all could be to get back at the school or Sarah." He turned his back on the railing. "I tried talking to her a few weeks back, although they told me I shouldn't…" He admitted.

"So?"

"I don't know, I just feel like maybe that's it. That she's just planning on a final move to ruin my life."

Claire sighed. "She's a drama Queen and a bully, I grant her that, but she couldn't even face Sarah, she did it all via text." Connor glanced at her. "That's not very brave, I don't think she has the guts to do anything else."

"No, but her Dad certainly has the resources." Connor mused.

"I can ask around, someone has to know something." His sister offered and he took her hand in his for a moment.

"Thank you, for being here Claire and for the other night." Connor said after a moment.

"That's what sisters are for. I am sorry for not realizing that sooner." She countered. They stayed silent. "I looked at a picture of Michael the night of the Gala. It's funny we used to have a little brother but it's like they just erased him off."

Connor glanced to look at her. "Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if he was here?"

"He'd be the son Dad would have groomed off, that's for sure." Claire huffed as she wrapped her arms around herself as the late afternoon began to settle. "We should get back inside."

He nodded and told her he'd follow her soon enough, needing some time for himself.

* * *

Sarah came back on Thursday and Ava was still a no show. "How are you feeling?" Will asked as she walked her and Jason down the bus, Jay had taken off to check on some late assignment he had to hand in.

"Better." She smiled. "And you? Sorry we haven't really being hanging out much since James drives us."

"Don't worry Reese, I'm always here if you need me, but… there's a game Saturday, do you want to come along?"

"Sure. I'd love to." She said with a smile.

"Good, oh there's Connor, well I have to go meet Nina, I'll see you in there?"

"Connor!" Jason took off on in his direction. "I have a new Transformers movie for us to watch next time you come over." He announced.

Sarah rolled her eyes sweetly at her brother as he and her boyfriend went into talking about their never ending love for Autobots until they met Mary by the door of the elementary school. "We'll make plans and ask Mom about it, alright Jason?" Sarah said as she and Connor waved him goodbye.

"New movie?"

"Yeah, my Grandma found one he didn't have, apparently." Sarah informed him. She then proceeded to tell him Juliet was actually in town for a little while and she'd be staying over with them.

"I missed you keeping me company last night though." She told him. He'd come over Tuesday for a little while but couldn't make it on Wednesday since his Father had been home.

"Yeah, trust me, I'd much rather be with you than Cornelius." Connor huffed as they walked to class together.

"Come here." She told him, glancing at the watch on the wall and figuring they still had a few minutes left before the bell rang, dragging him to an empty classroom.

Connor didn't think he'd missed kissing Sarah until she pushed him against the door and practically sucked the air out of his lungs and made his head spin. "You, should get sick more often." He mused as she bit her lip from embarrassment as he kissed her again and she giggled.

They met up Henry and Nat by the door of the class they had. "What's with the two of you?" Natalie asked, looking at their faces.

"Nothing." They said in unison as the teacher came in and they took their seats. Classes seemed to fly by and Sarah tried her best to keep up on all she'd missed.

By lunch, their mashed up table seemed a little more relaxed than usual as Sarah showed all her friends the pictures of Peter's birthday party. They stopped at one of Sarah and Connor taken in the Mill's garden, she had his coat on her and he held her from behind, both of them beaming.

"Oh, that should be your background pic." Emily gushed as she stole Sarah's phone from her hand and smiled. "You two are too cute for words, I mean it." Jay, who was beside her rolled his eyes.

"Why am I friends with all of you romantics?"

"Because deep down, you are the same you dork." Emily gushed.

Will laughed as Jay threw a piece of bread at him. "Oh, there's Nina, I've got to go." He said, standing up as Nat's gaze followed him over to her table.

"Why doesn't he just ask her to sit with us?" Jay asked. Henry glanced over at Natalie. "Oh, right. It would be awkward." He hissed so Natalie wouldn't listen.

"So Nat, you have to let us take you baby shopping now that you know what you are having." Emily gushed at the other girl, trying to switch her attention from moping over Will.

"You really don't have to do that, I'm pretty sure Josh has enough hand me downs." She assured them. Emily huffed. "Oh come on, it can be fun! We can make it a girl's thing."

Natalie smiled warmly as Sarah and the other girls beamed. "Please?" Monique pushed on as Sarah echoed her support.

"Fine, but we have to take Claire with us."

"My sister?" Connor inquired curiously.

"Yes, she's already keen on making sure my baby is well cared for apparently and I sort of promised her."

Emily beamed with even more excitement. "Yes! That's perfect."

"How about next week?" Monique suggested, the girls made their plans as Connor and Henry talked hockey with Jay who seemed a little mopey.

* * *

The rest of the day went by rather quickly and Sarah found herself waiting for Connor to come out of gym class with Antonio and the other boys.

"He's almost out Reese" Will's voice made her jump. "Antonio is trying to convince your boyfriend to play on the game Saturday, some of the guys are sick."

"Some of them?" She said as she sat by the bleachers with him. Sarah suddenly became worried about Connor playing.

"Yep, apparently it's been spreading on the elementary school." Will commented casually. "Guess you are not the only one who caught it."

Sarah smiled. Connor shook hands with Antonio as he eyed him and Will. "See you for practice Rhodes."

"So, you are playing huh?" Will inquired as he began walking next to them.

"Yeah, don't sound too excited about it." Connor said.

"Oh no, I am. " Will mused. "Sarah, not so much."

"What?" She turned back. "I haven't said anything!"

"You didn't have to." Wisll commented with a smirk. "I'll see you two later, yeah?"

"Don't worry, it's just a few practices and a game. They need to get through to qualify for regionals and since I was on the team last year…"

"But you got hurt." Sarah said. "You told me you couldn't play anymore."

"I shouldn't, but it doesn't mean I can't." Connor said. "Don't worry, I'm sure Antonio will keep me on the bench. He just needs to make the numbers."

Sarah didn't seem reassured. "Connor, I might be new to sports, but I'm pretty sure he's not going to keep one of his former best players on the bench." Connor turned around so she would stop walking.

"Sarah…"

"Don't Sarah me…" She told him. "You could get hurt really bad."

"I'll be fine." He assured her. "I promise." He stole a peck from her lips. "Listen, I have to get home. Will you be okay getting Jason?" He kissed her again as she gave him a faint reply.

She couldn't help to feel conflicted about it, he seemed so happy about it, happier than she'd seen him in a while but he was avoiding the fact he'd been pulled out of the game for a reason.

James was on a conference for the week so she had to get the bus, finding Will and Jay and their usual spots, she turned to the older Halstead. "You'll take care of Connor, right?"

Will gave her a small smile. "Sarah…"

"Promise me." She told him. "Please Will…"

"Okay." He huffed. "I'll try, but your boyfriend is pretty stubborn."

Jay hadn't even reacted to her comments and only casually answered Jason. "Is Jay sick?" He asked Sarah and Will.

The older kids looked at each other. "Ah…Not exactly bud."

No, not exactly, Jay had just been told the day before, Will had explained to Sarah that Erin might have to move away. "He's just got a sad heart, do you know what that is?" Will asked.

Jason didn't and so Will continued. "Means he feels sad because someone he cares about is moving away and he won't see them as often." Jason looked over at Jay who was plugged into his headphones.

"When I'm sad or feel bad, Sarah makes me toast." Jason commented. "Can we bring some for Jay tomorrow?"

Sarah said they could and Jason turned back to the road in front of him.

"So about Connor?"

"I'll see what I can do." He told her with a smile. "But you shouldn't worry so much Reese."

Oh, but she was Sarah Reese, it was her job to worry.

* * *

 **Awww did you gush as much as we did over Connor caring for Sarah and yay our boy is getting back to hockey, plus Connor and Claire, we love writing those two so much!**


	36. Chapter 36

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 36**

Sarah had mistakenly started to research the injuries linked to ice hockey that night before bed. She knew she definitely shouldn't have watched the videos, seeing as she couldn't sleep for hours afterwards.

She didn't think it would be easy to watch her friends play anymore. Specially not Connor.

Jason, loyal to a fault with people he connected with, would not leave the house the next morning without a slice of toast. To say their Mom was confused was an understatement.

Sarah felt terrible for Jay, after pining after Erin for years and finally getting together and now her moving away? She knew she couldn't eve

* * *

n think about the possibility of Connor ever leaving. No wonder Jay had been down the past couple of days.

"But why toast?" Her Mom asked.

"Because Jay doesn't feel good and Sarah always makes toast that makes my tummy better Mom."

"Jay's girlfriend might be moving and he's sad." Sarah said and then out the door the siblings went with Jason carrying a slice of toast in a napkin.

Jason took his normal seat, "Here." He shoved the napkin in Jay's direction.

"What…?" He asked, bewildered, as he pulled his earphones out.

"You don't feel good. You'll feel better with Sarah's toast. It's magic for me, so it'll be magic for you. Like Katie's soup, it made Sarah feel better."

"Thanks?" Jay said with a shy smile.

"Jason is worried about you." Sarah supplied.

"And we want you to stop moping around." Will added before Sarah hit him.

"Yeah because you're one to talk." Jay told him. "Thanks Jason, it's real nice of you. It'll definitely make me feel better."

* * *

"I'm worried about Jay." Emily admitted when she sat next to Sarah at the empty table at lunch, resting her head on her hand as she watched their friend cross the cafeteria to talk to Antonio.

"Erin's really leaving?"

"Apparently so, something to do with her Mom.." Emily said, "But Jay looks like he's so lost."

"At least the game tomorrow should take his mind off it right?"

"I hope so." Emily sighed. "Speaking of which, I hear a certain boyfriend of yours is playing again? And you are wearing his number, right?" Emily gushed.

"Oh...I guess so?"

"You totally will." Emily waved it away as a done deal. "It'll be so cool watching him play again, he's really good."

"Did you go to the games last year?"

"Oh yeah, Jay needed someone to help him take notes on the plays and to keep him company." Emily shrugged, "Plus, watching cute guys play is fun too." She laughed.

"Yeah…"

"What's up?" Emily obviously caught onto her less than enthusiastic response.

"I'm just worried. Connor really shouldn't be playing, what if he gets really hurt?"

"You can't live your life in fear, sometimes you have to go after what you love." Emily said and Sarah was slightly blindsided by her friend's serious response.

Emily just shrugged, "It's one of my parents sayings, after they had Ethan and couldn't have another baby, and they were worried about starting the whole adoption process and then going through the whole ordeal with the chance of not getting a kid, they said it was worth going after something you really want, you know?"

Sarah blinked, Emily was a bundle of contradictions, just when she thought her friend couldn't much be more happy go lucky, she went and showed she had a serious side. "Yeah I get it."

"Connor probably loves the sport and wants to have a bit of fun and considering everything with his Mom, he deserves it. If it makes him happy, then it's okay, isn't?"

 _Well, when Emily put it like that, it made sense and all she wanted was for Connor to be happy, but it didn't mean she would stop worrying about him._

* * *

"Hey Connor can I have a word?" Claire practically dragged Connor away as soon as he said hi to their Mom after school.

"What's going on Claire?" Connor asked, slightly alarmed.

"So I did a bit more digging, my classes can be very boring and anyway you will never guess what happened with Ava?" Claire declared as soon as she got out of hearing reach of their parents.

"What?"

"Her Dad made some bad investments and boom, bye bye his huge company." Claire said, her eyes wide.

"So? It's not like he's self made, didn't he inherit fortunes?"

"All. Gone." Claire stated slowly. "They are trying to keep it under wraps because apparently some of it got shady, transferring accounts to Ava and her Mom and offshore but…"

"Wow, seriously?"

"Yep. They've lost everything. They've lost everything and now they owe _a lot_ to like everyone."

"Oh…"

"Yeah, nobody saw this coming."

"You can say that again, Dad is always harping on about how _really_ rich they are."

"Yep, not any more huh?"

"Kids?" Katie called, "Are you there? Dinner's almost ready!"

"We're coming." Claire replied, before lowering her voice and turning to her brother. "Talk about getting what was coming to them huh?"

* * *

Sarah knew her Mom was coming around to Connor again but she was trying to ease her back in and ended up carpooling with the Halsteads to the game so she could still be in good graces.

Sarah was surprised Nina wasn't with them but Will made some excuse so she didn't push it.

"How are you feeling about tonight?" She asked Jay.

Jay shrugged, "Okay I guess."

"Man, you have got to get your head in, at the very least for Herrmann's sake, the man has not stopped sending you plays and is practically your personal cheerleader." Will said.

"Is Erin coming?" Sarah asked softly.

"Yeah, probably her last one." Jay admitted. "I know she doesn't go to our school but I'm giving her my jersey anyway."

"Seriously? Dude. That's a bit fast don't you think?" Will asked.

"No." Jay shot back.

"I think it's sweet." Sarah reassured him.

"What about you Reese? You getting a jersey today?" Will asked with a grin.

"I don't know…" She answered and both boys just laughed.

They arrived at the rink and Sarah noticed Connor waiting for them.

"Best of luck guys, you'll be great." she said, hugging them both, "And be careful." She told them sternly.

"Yeah, yeah,yeah I know, I'll have Rhodes' back." Will rolled his eyes with a smile

"No, I mean you two be careful as well, okay?" Sarah hissed but Connor hadn't seemed to have heard them.

"We will, thanks Sarah." Jay said, before pushing Will away, leaving her with Connor.

"Hey you." he said with an easy smile.

"Hi."

"So I was getting ready for the game and I remembered something really important."

"What?" She asked in a bashful manner, grabbing his hand.

"Well, two things actually, first…" He said, closing the distance between them and kissing her softly. "That I love you." He whispered before capturing her lips with his again.

She sighed softly, falling into his embrace, her heart racing.

"Oh and the second one..." He murmed with his eyes still closed, "Would you want to wear my jersey for the game?" He asked almost shyly.

"Really?"

"Yes of course."

"I'd love to." She admitted with a smile.

He produced a freshly pressed jersey from his gear bag having and helped her put it over her sweater as she took her jacket off.

"Looks good?" She asked.

"Amazing." He told her with a wide grin, kissing her again before they heard Antonio shouting for him.

"Good luck and be safe." She told him, holding his arm to stop him leaving just yet. "Promise me?"

"I promise I'll try." He told her sincerely. "I'll be looking for you in the crowd."

* * *

She smiled and leaned to kiss him softly as the senior called again. "I love you." She said as he graced his finger on her cheek and walked away.

Sarah made her way over to the bleechers only to be met by Natalie and her parents and siblings, she said her hellos and then took a seat beside Nat a little further from them. "That number looks good on you."

"It does?" Sarah smiled but Natalie knew something was going on inside her friend's head. "How bad was his injury?"

"Bad." Nat replied, her hand resting on her ever growing tummy. "He was advised not to play sports so he wouldn't have to have surgery." Sarah blinked. "I was actually surprised to hear he was playing but...it makes him happy and Sarah you should see him out there is like all of this labels he's had since birth just disappear and he just shines."

 _Sarah could live with that,_ she guessed. Natalie then proceeded to reassure her and Sarah admitted to her, her conversation with Will.

"Well then, you have nothing to worry about."

Emily, Monique, Erin and even Nina joined them as the game began. Sarah saw Hermann, Cindy and the kids also there, they'd made a sign for both Henry and Connor and Luke held a phone the entire time recording everything.

As soon as Connor came out, Sarah's mind began to reel though and she worried as Will sent a nod her way.

The first half of the game went just fine, Jay seemed to have been focusing although he'd glanced to the crowd every now and again.

Connor would look over his shoulder too and smile, she even saw Antonio give both boys a slight smack on the head so they would focus back.

Jeff was there too and Will kept his eyes mostly on the puck or his feet. It was clear both of them were trying to just focus on the game.

Connor was really good, just like everyone had said and he and Will made it look so easy when they would pass the puck around and do a formation, working as a team.

Granted, they could stand the other now and share food, not go at each other because they had an understanding, over Nat and even Sarah.

They could work their friendship around that. "Are you doing okay?" Emily asked.

"He's amazing, isn't he?" Sarah sighed and Emily smirked.

"They make it look so easy." Monique commented. Sarah nodded, she would have to ask Connor for a new skating lesson soon.

"Hey guys, can I sit with you?" A voice said behind them.

"Here." Monique said so she could sit beside her and not in the middle of Emily and Sarah.

"Thanks." The girl said with a smile. "They weren't kidding about Connor, huh? You must be swooning Sarah."

"Yes, he's for real so perfect. Last week she was sick and he babysat Jason." Emily commented. "Oh and took care of her too."

Sarah turned tomato red, remembering the whole thing. "So, have you and Connor, you know…" Gaby eyed her. And Sarah understood, she also knew the girls were a bit older than her, they were about to be 16. Natalie turned to Gabby and was about to speak when there was a loud gasp.

Someone was on the ground. Sarah searched for Connor's number quickly in the crowd and found him beside Will and Jay, sighing with relief.

The boys were on fire, Jay and Will each scored and Jeff who was the Goalie, kept making it harder for the other team to score so the game went quicker than usual, or maybe it hadn't but Sarah was finally making sense of it.

The other team didn't make it easy on them the next quarter though as Henry had been the only one who had scored. Sarah and Nat turned their heads to glance at Hermann who cheered and Henry, Sarah could have sworn rolled his eyes from the rink. "Do you think he's okay?" Emily asked the other girls who giggled.

Sarah then looked on the far side, she hadn't noticed Claire Rhodes was sitting by the corner with Lily on her lap. "She used to come to every game and record it for Elizabeth." Natalie told her. "Last year though, she kind of didn't come as often and Connor noticed. It was yet another thing that made them pull apart."

Sarah glanced at Connor's sister who noticed her and gave her a shy smile.

Nat then pointed to the Halstead's dad and Sarah was glad to find him in the crowd cheering for the boys.

The game advanced without too much drama, there was a moment in which Connor had been pushed to the side by one of the other team members and he almost fell, face front on the ice but it looked like Will had pulled him up before he could fall.

Sarah sighed with relief. "Only two minutes to go and we're losing!" Monique said, "We're so close!"

Then, everything happened pretty fast as Sarah saw Henry, Connor and the Halstead brothers in formation. Will passed the puck to his brother and Connor called for Henry as he tried to shoot the last goal of the night but missed, having Connor make a last minute call, swooping in by the side to skate closer and under the Goalie, scoring.

The crowd cheered and Sarah felt herself clapping as she saw Connor beam at his friends who congratulated him but not missing a beat to glance at her in the crowd with a charming wink and a smile too.

 _They'd won and Connor had made quite a comeback._

The boys gave each other handshakes and each team dispersed on the rink. Sarah saw Erin leave the bleachers with Nina following closely behind. "You should go find him." Nat said and Sarah nodded, making her way down, and as she was about to turn her feet on the last step she saw Connor making his way over to her instead with a wide smile on his face and hair all plastered with sweat. He honestly looked _hot._

She leaned into the rink's side to meet him halfway as Sarah then threw herself into his arms, he caught her just in time for her to kiss him.

It was sloppy and honestly took him by surprise at first but he returned it gladly. Right now, Sarah honestly didn't think about who might be watching, she was so proud of him and so happy he was okay.

"You were amazing!" She said breaking the kiss.

"I didn't know how much I'd missed it," He beamed at her. "You looked pretty cute in my jersey by the way." Sarah turned red and he kissed her again.

Someone called for him and he broke the kiss reluctantly. "I need to go, I'll see you in a minute?"

Sarah bit her lip. "Okay."

"What?"

"Nothing, you just...I love you."

"I love you too Sarah, thank you for being here tonight." He said touching her cheek with his cold fingers. "Hey, I'm pretty sure we're all going to Molly's. You think your Mom will let you?"

"I don't know…" She admitted.

"Rhodes, let's go!" Antonio called and he hung his face down sighing. "You can kiss all you want later!"

"Go, I'll be here." She said with a smile as he leaned to peck her lips again quickly before following the rest of the team.

Sarah sighed as she went back to her friends while texting her Mom and praying she'd let her hang out with them.

"Sarah! There you are…" Emily said placing a hand around her shoulder. "Did you have a good victory kiss?"

She turned tomato red. "Oh, Come on!" She mused. "We all saw"

"It was amazing…" Sarah admitted shyly.

"I bet." Emily winked "So, we're getting some Molly's hot cocoa. Is Connor driving you?"

"I'm not sure my Mom will let me. She's just getting on the good side with him again and I don't want to push it."

"Oh, is she?" Emily said. "Come on, what else could she ask for in a boyfriend huh? He loves you, respects you and adores your brother. What more proof does she need about him?" Sarah sighed. "Oh hey about what Gabby said…" Emily bit her lip. "You know about you and Connor? It's not like she and Matt had done anything either, I mean we all know what could happen…"

Sarah was about to answer when Natalie made her way over to them. _Talk about subtilty_ "Hey guys, I'm sorry, I'm missing Herman's show off at Molly's but I'm so tired."

"We get it Nat, don't worry." Emily smiled. "We're still on for baby shopping tomorrow though right?"

"Yeah, for sure." Nat beamed at her. The guys were making their way over as Nat worked out the details with Emily about which car they should take to the mall.

"You are coming too, right Sarah?"

Yes, she'd already convinced her Mom, that's why she wasn't sure she'd allow her to go to Molly's.

"Yeah, Emily is picking me up."

"Awesome. Oh, there's Henry, I'm going to go say goodnight."

* * *

"So, I didn't make an entire fool of myself in front of Claire, did I?"

"No, are you kidding? You were awesome." Henry gave her a smile.

"And Connor, it was like he never left huh? Not that he hasn't secretly being practicing.." Henry pointed out.

"How did you…" She wasn't the only one who knew, although honestly they didn't know how he had found the time with all he was trying to balance in his life.

"I have my ways…" Henry mused. "I might be mostly clueless but not as much."

Nat smirked.

"Hey guys." Connor met up with them a moment later, not missing a glance at Sarah who stood with her friends. "You going home?"

"Sadly. I don't think I can stay awake much longer, but hey… you two were amazing. Just like old times huh?" Nat beamed at the two of them, waving them away and winked at the other girls as she joined her family over.

Henry and Connor walked to where Sarah was with her friends. "Ready to go home?" He asked her.

"Actually, my Mom said I could hang out a little longer." She said as he walked with her hand in hand. "But just for an hour or so."

"Okay…"

"And Will has to drive me back…" Sarah said sadly. "Sorry, she's just stressed about work and…"

"Sarah, I get it. It's fine."

* * *

They made it to Molly's, Sarah having Jay and Will to chaperone, but Connor was way too happy about the game to even care.

Hermann was beyond himself with excitement over the West Chicago Penguins making it to the next phase of the tournament and Antonio didn't lose a beat to assure Connor he was not letting him go this time.

"I'm a senior now Rhodes, this is it for me. You gotta let me have it man." He said as he slided to their table. Sarah saw her boyfriend battle with himself.

"I'll think about it." He said finally, not looking at Reese.

"That's all I ask." Antonio smirked and joined the others by another table, Henry sighed.

"At least he's not all over me. Unlike some people." He said eyeing his Dad.

"Aw, Henry he's just happy about the game." Sarah piped up.

"No, you don't understand. I'll never live it down." He said, sipping on his drink. No work for him tonight, Hermann was way too happy. "And you man, how do you feel?"

"Okay." Connor said. "I'll live."

"So, you're playing next saturday, right?" Jay asked, sitting beside Erin. Sarah glared at him.

"I'm not sure. I'm going to see how I feel, I really don't want to push it."

"Or make her mad you mean." Jay mused and Erin elbowed him. "What? I'm just saying, Sarah here was freaking out."

She didn't reply but rather avoided Connor's gaze. "Well, we worry about all of you, you could get seriously hurt." Erin put in, making her relax and get back into a conversation, until her eyes drifted to the side to where Will was talking to Nina, Sarah was pretty sure they were walking on eggshells now, but she'd shown up and supported him either way.

Feelings were still there.

"Hey, are you okay?" Connor asked into her hair.

"I'm fine." She said, tapping her fingers on her cup. "You?"

"I could get out of here." He told her. Sarah raised an eyebrow when he offered her his hand. "Just for a little while, you'll be back and Will can drive you home." His eyes were burning into hers and his lips were too close to her neck for her to think straight.

"Oh, you're going?" Jay piped up. "Are we boring you?"

"A little." Connor bit his lip and Jay didn't seem amused. Henry then got called over by his Dad and Connor took the chance to pull Sarah away from the crowd as Erin and Jay were left alone.

"You did that on purpose?" She asked as he held out the door for them and they made it out into the night.

"Yeah, I figured we could give them some time alone." He winked.

"You're sweet." She commented but then felt self conscious about the fact they were once again behind Molly's.

By themselves.

"Well, I feel like we all need to celebrate our own way huh?" He mused pulling her closer. Sarah smiled. "And I might have wanted you for myself for a minute."

Connor bit his lip as he leaned in to kiss her. Sarah closed her eyes as her hands wrapped around his waist, kissing him back gladly.

* * *

Henry had seen Claire at the game. He'd told her about it and of course she would be there supporting Connor, the two of them seemed to be on better terms now and he was glad, they would be needing each other in time.

"Henry." She said as he was on a table talking with Will and Nina, but they seemed to be pretty much occupied on their business to notice.

"Hey Claire." He smiled.

"You were so good out there, I kind of missed seeing you play…" She mused and Henry went a little red. "Your Dad sure seems proud."

"Don't remind me." Henry laughed. " Did you record the game for your Mom?"

"Yeah, there wasn't anything too bad and Connor told her he was playing, she was a little worried over the whole knee thing but he's going to have it checked out on Monday, so.."

Henry smiled again. "He was happy though."

"He was." She agreed. "And you seemed on your element. You could be captain next year." The younger boy blinked.

"You… you think so?"

"Absolutely." She offered him a smile. "Hey, have you seen my brother anywhere?"

"He, uh, last time I saw him, he'd gone out with Sarah to the back."

"Oh, alright." Claire said with a knowing smirk. "Well, will you tell him I'll see him at home?"

"For sure." Claire smiled again and said her goodbyes.

"Thanks, I'll see you Henry and hey I heard you took a makeup math test and did really good. That's great."

"Well, I… I have you to thank for that." Henry admitted shyly.

"Nah, I'm sure you did it all on your own, you just needed a little push." She winked at him and walked away.

Will's voice made Henry snap out of the daze that was Claire Rhodes. "Need a napkin Hermann?"

"Uh, what?"

"Nothing." Will mused, glancing at his phone. "I better go find Reese, I'll see you Henry."

Will said nothing more as Nina offered Henry a kind smile and followed her boyfriend in search of Sarah.

* * *

 **Soo, how amazing are the boys? And Henry and Claire. OTP, right?**


	37. Chapter 37

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 37**

Sarah had never really enjoyed going to the mall before, so going baby shopping with her friends was a bit of a surreal experience. They got very weird looks from the store workers, for starters, until they noticed Natalie.

Sarah knew the moment that she saw Nat's face when they met up at the mall that she wasn't as excited as she had been. She kept looking around and had her hand placed protectively over her bump.

Emily and Sarah had spent the entire bus ride over to the mall talking about Connor, or rather Emily had been full of questions about where exactly the pair escaped off to from the diner the evening before.

There was one thing she was sure of, she much preferred talking to Emily about her and Connor than to Gabby.

Monique arrived just after Emily and Sarah and they chatted while waiting for Claire.

"Are you okay Natalie?" Sarah asked in a quiet voice while the other two chatted about Mouse's latest escapade.

"I just...I don't know." She shrugged, "It's just I haven't gone shopping for the baby yet. I have savings from working at Molly's, it's not the money, it's just I have to go around in public as a teen mom to be and I just feel like I'm going to get judged you know? I mean people have a right to judge me I guess…" She faltered with sudden tears in her eyes. "I pretty much screwed up."

"Don't think like that." Sarah pleaded. "That baby will be lucky to have you as his Mom. And we're all here for you. Emily and Claire, are pretty scary if anyone tries anything."

Natalie gave a laugh at the thought but it was more like a sob.

"We can go home if you're not comfortable?" Sarah tried, imagining how hard it was for Natalie, even if Jeff was around a lot more recently.

"No. I want to do this, sorry, sometimes it all just catches up with me I guess." Natalie said.

"You're allowed to feel overwhelmed." Sarah reminded her, she knew she would be totally lost and freaking out, if anything like that happened to her.

"Thanks Sarah. I want to do this, I want to have a girls day, sometimes I have enough boy time with Henry and Connor."

"Okay the party has arrived." Claire declared as she approached the group. "Claire Rhodes, nice to meet you." She immediately introduced herself officially to Emily and Monique with a handshake, Connor had told Sarah they had been taught how to properly make themselves known to people growing up. Monique looked almost star struck. Sarah couldn't blame her, Claire had that effect on people.

"Thanks for coming Claire." Nat said as she hugged the older girl.

"Oh please and miss spoiling my nephew? No chance I was missing this. Thanks for inviting me." She smiled and Sarah could tell it was sincere. She had heard bits of stories off Connor and Henry and Nat herself about Claire's falling in with the wrong crowd and off the tracks but she was trying now and that made all the difference.

They decided to hit some baby clothes shops first, Claire forming a plan of attack. She had the day organised within an inch of its life. She had the brains for business.

Sarah wondered if her Dad would ever give her the chance to get involved with the family business properly like he kept saying Connor had to.

There was more than one occasion that Claire and Emily gave staff a glare if they looked at Natalie too much and Monique and Sarah would keep Natalie occupied by trying to find outfits cuter than the last ones.

"So come on, I know I'm practically old and everything but give me all the news. Who's with who, who are the cute guys, and what teachers are the biggest pain?" Claire asked as they sat down after getting the basics for the baby, and on their Claire designated break for sodas and sweets, or as Claire put it, 'mandatory girls day food'.

"I mean all of them are but I'm nominating Abrams." Emily rolled her eyes.

"No, Stohl." Monique argued.

"Oh good point." Natalie commented as she came back from the bathroom.

"That was the boring question!" Claire moaned, "Who are the cute guys?" She laughed.

"Everyone knows Sarah has bagged the best one." Emily sighed dramatically.

"Oh no you don't, we are not talking about my brother!" Claire laughed, pretending to cover her ears with her hands.

"Henry is pretty cute though…" Emily commented, innocently sipping her drink.

"Henry?" Natalie scrunched up her nose in thought as if she hadn't really thought about it.

"Henry Herrmann?" Claire asked in a voice that seemed to be light by force.

"Yeah and he's sweet." Monique agreed.

Sarah, being the good observer she was, noticed the momentary slip in Claire's professional mask, as she was processing the fact that there were girls who _liked_ Henry.

She stored that information for later.

"What about Jay and Will though? They're a pretty set of brothers." Monique giggled.

"Jay?" Emily asked, "Ew no at this stage it feels like he's _my_ brother."

"Antonio Dawson." Natalie piped up and immediately all the sophomore girls sighed in unison which just set Claire off into peels of laughter.

"Connor's got competition." Claire pointed at Sarah in jest.

"No…!" Sarah protested with a laugh.

"Oh, please everyone knows you two are head over heels for each other." Emily patted Sarah's arm.

"...I think me and Jeff are breaking up." Natalie said out of the blue, immediately killing the laughter.

"What?" Claire asked, instinctively putting an arm around the younger girl's shoulder.

"I don't know. It's just not the same anymore. I still love him, we've been together for so long and he's the father of my baby but I just...I don't think I'm in _love_ with him anymore." She admitted, "And he's really trying with the baby now and it's all I wanted but I just don't think we'll be trying again." She said.

* * *

"Hey Will. What can I get you?" Connor asked as Will approached the counter. The place was having one of it's really quiet days. Which drove Chris mad but made Henry happy as they didn't need quite so much staff. Henry had taken the time and ran with it all the way to the rink to get some more practice in.

There was one couple in the corner and a Mom and kid at one of the tables and Connor was almost bored until Will appeared.

"Hey." Will said as he hopped up onto one of the stools. "Just a burger and fries, thanks."

"Coming up." Connor said as he scrawled the order on his notepad and gave it into Chris in the kitchen.

"Busy day huh?" Will asked as he played with the salt and pepper shakers lying on the counter.

"Oh yeah, out the door." Connor deadpanned as he leaned against the counter. He had already cleaned the place twice that day.

"No Jay?" Connor asked.

"Nah, he and Mouse are hanging out today and I'm trying to convince my car to start again." Will laughed, wiping grease off his hands.

"How's it going?" Connor asked. Even though it was unchartered territory, talking about things that weren't related to hockey, Sarah or Natalie, Connor threw it out there.

Will hesitated, but after everything with Sarah, Connor guessed they had to start to get along better. They both happened to be hanging out with each other's friends more lately.

Will described the problem vaguely until he realised Connor was actually interested in cars too and then they both jumped into the pros and cons of the different filters he was trying, both forgetting about the order until Chris stopped ringing the bell and just brought the food out himself.

"Boys and their cars, you're as bad as Henry." Chris shook his head with a smile as he handed Will his food and brought out a plate of fries for Connor. "Why don't you take off after that kid, it's pretty slow today."

Will snorted at the description, "That's one way of putting it."

And Connor wouldn't admit it, but he had laughed at a joke that Will Halstead had made.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah go and say hello to your Mom for me, yeah?" Chris waved away his worries, "Gabby's coming in in a while until closing anyway."

The two boys talked about cars and ate their food and Connor mused that someone should take a picture of them getting along.

"You got plans with Sarah after?" Will asked.

"No, her and Nat, Claire, Monique and Emily." Connor counted off on his fingers, "Went to the mall and Claire just told me they're having an impromptu girls night in at my house and to not go home and disturb them."

"Yeah Nina's out with her family." Will said, clearing his throat, and probably, Connor thought, trying to not mention Natalie.

Will put the money on the counter, clearly debating something in his head.

"Hey Rhodes, I cannot believe I'm asking you this, but you want to come around by my house and work on my car? Fresh eyes and all that… and seeing as you can't go home…?"

Connor put the money in the till and gave him a receipt.

"I can't believe _I'm_ saying this but sure why not?" Connor said.

Will nodded, "Yep, I think we've both just lost our minds."

"Sounds about right." Connor agreed before he grabbed his jacket.

As Connor drove they didn't talk much on the way, but decided to get right to work on the car. "So, I'm guessing your love for cars doesn't come from watching Transformers." Will said as Connor rolled his sleeves up and took a peek at the inside, he shot him a glance. "Jason."

"Ah, right, yeah no, Hermann, he used to make me and Henry help him out sometimes."

Will bit his lip. "So, not your Dad?"

Connor laughed. "No, not my Dad, he's just not like that." He stared at the other boy, waiting for Will to make some remark about rich people, but it didn't come and the two of them just focused back on work.

Half an hour passed and Will's Dad was home, peeking his head in at the boys, surprised to find Connor and not Jay helping his son with the car. "You two lost a bet or something?"

Will and Connor looked at each other. "Connor Rhodes sir." Connor said, reaching at his hand.

"Yeah, I know who you are, that's why I'm asking." Pat retorted. "Seen that brother of yours anywhere?"

"Yeah, he's out with Mouse." Will said and Connor watched as the redhead tense up.

"Make sure he knows he has to be here on time, for dinner, hear?" The redheaded boy nodded. "I told this one he should just give up on it." Pat said biting his lip, referring to the car. "But he and his brother are working on it together, which is good, gives them something more to fight about." Pat said to Connor.

Connor felt himself smile as Will rolled his eyes, it was moments like these he wondered what it would have been like to have a big brother to do things like these with.

Pat gave both boys another weary glance and went inside the house.

"So, yeah, that's my Dad." Will said. Connor didn't reply right away. "He's not as scary as he looks."

But Connor had grown up with the cold shoulder that was his father and compared to him, Pat didn't seem so bad. "Clearly you haven't met Cornelius." He huffed and they continued to work in silence until Pat called them inside to get something to drink.

Then Connor saw it, a picture of Will's Mom whom Jay looked a lot like, they grabbed their drinks and went back to the garage but Will sensed Connor's change of demeanor. "Something on your mind Rhodes?" Will asked, but Connor didn't reply, he hated to pry in other people's business. He just focused back on the task at hand.

Will looked over from where he was placing the valve inside as Connor held the hood open.

"It's been almost four years." Will said, surprised he was talking to Connor about his Mom. "We didn't even know she was sick until it was too late and Chemo didn't do anything it just made her feel worse and she was barely aware of where she was half the time, and in the end, she wouldn't even recognize us anymore." Connor stopped cold on his tracks. "My Dad didn't even have time to process what had happened, neither could we really...I was 13 and Jay was just 10." Will tossed the towel he was using to clean up the valve over his shoulder.

"I'm sorry man." Connor said to him honestly. At least he had had more time with his Mom, more of the one they'd been promised off at first and Halstead had had almost none.

"Yeah, me too." Will said, almost wanting to laugh bitterly at the situation. "It's been a while since I've talked about it, my Dad barely does and Jay… well, he's pissed at me because I don't talk about her much."

"I get it." Connor said in all honesty.

"How is she doing. Your mom I mean?" Connor shrugged.

"I don't even know anymore to be honest. She's been at it for six years, most days, when I walk through the door, I keep expecting her to be gone."

Will sat on the ground with a loud sigh. "Look at us, huh, who would have thought this would be the one thing we would have in common?"

"Well, that and cars apparently." Connor admitted as he joined Will on the ground. Jay arrived and had noticed the garage door was open so he made his way over.

Connor and Will could have sworn his jaw dropped to the floor when he saw them together like that.

 _As if they were friends._

Those two had clearly come a long way since that september morning when Sarah had arrived it seemed.

* * *

Connor made it home just before the girls had to leave. He stayed upstairs in the kitchen though, not wanting to disturb them or piss off his sister in any way.

"What in the world happened to you?" Katie said as soon as she found him sitting on the small table by the side of the huge room. "You better get cleaned up. Your father is coming for dinner."

"He's.."

"Flying in, yes. Arthur just left to get him." Katie said.

Connor winced. "Right, I'm going."

"Good boy."

He left the kitchen as the girls were coming up laughing.

"And then he just…" Claire was saying as the others giggled. "Oh, hey little brother, did a car ran you over or something?"

"Or something." Connor smiled, his eyes drifting to Sarah. "Oh let's go up for a minute, until Ethan is here to pick you guys up. Like these two don't have enough time alone." Claire huffed and led the other girls upstairs. Natalie shot Sarah a look as she followed closely behind Emily.

"Are you okay?" Sarah asked when they were left alone and Connor closed the distance between them.

"Yeah, it's just grease." He mused, leaning to kiss her lips.

"From Molly's?"

"Ah, not exactly. You know that car that Halstead is always talking about? Well we sort of figured out a way to fix it."

Sarah had to blink to make sure she had heard him right.

"We? As in you and Will?"

"Yeah." Connor said scratching the back of his ear. "We're going over to the junkyard tomorrow after school actually."

"I'm sorry but you and Will? Since when do you two hang out?"

"I thought you wanted me to like him?" Connor laughed.

"Of course I do. It's just a big thing to process. You two getting along."

"Ah, yeah, turns out we're not that different after all."

"I'm glad you two figured that out." She beamed. "And I'm proud of you."

"What for?" He asked curiously.

"For realizing it." She countered.

"Come here." Connor pulled her over to the bathroom where he washed his face. "Better?"

"Yeah, much." She said as he kissed her softly.

It was then that the intercoms had sounded in the house and Katie had come to let them know Ethan was there to pick them up.

The girls made their way down the stairs. "Claire, thanks for everything. All of you, I had a really good time."

"Of course. And you call me once you start with the decorating. My nephew deserves the best after all."

"And don't forget about the baby shower!" Emily piped up and Nat smiled.

"Are you sure you don't want us to drive you?" Claire asked.

"No, it's okay. My Dad would kill me if I don't take the car back anyway." The girls said their goodbyes to Katie who'd come out of the kitchen.

"We'll see you in school Connor." Monique smiled as Connor opened the door for the girls and Ethan offered him a handshake getting out of the car.

Sarah was the last to get in. "Oh, come on kiss goodbye, already, you'll see him in less than 12 hours Sarah." Emily joked and Sarah blushed violently but Connor only kissed her cheek much to her friend's disappointment who huffed and pulled her into the car.

Sarah rolled her eyes as Connor winked at her and closed the door.

Natalie and Claire stood beside him just as Arthur pulled up with Cornelius just missing the girls by a mere minute, thankfully.

Natalie was used to the man but she couldn't shake that odd feeling about him. "I'll be in my office." Cornelius said glancing at the three kids, Connor had already cleaned up his face but his jeans and long sleeve shirt were quite dirty.

"Hey Dad, How are you? I'm good thanks." Claire hissed for only Connor and Natalie to hear and they laughed.

"I should get going." Nat commented turning to the Rhodes siblings. "Thanks again for everything."

"Earl already put everything inside." Claire said as she hugged the younger girl. They brought the car around and Connor helped Nat get in.

"Text me once you get home, yeah?" He said with a smile.

Connor took a step back and sighed. Claire put an arm around her brother's neck. "Cheer up little brother, he'll be leaving again in no time."

* * *

Connor and Claire ate dinner with her Mom while Cornelius was dealing with urgent business in his office. Elizabeth was only delighted to hear that the girls got on well and that Natalie had had a good day out.

"You know for high school kids, they aren't that bad." Claire commented.

"Of course they're not, I pick good friends." Connor smirked.

"Yeah like apparently Will Halstead?" Claire snorted with a smile.

"Oh are you two finally getting along?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yeah we're working on his car." Connor told his Mom, "How did you know?" He asked Claire.

She shrugged, "Henry texted me and told me, said Chris had told him where you'd gone and he told me to watch out for pigs flying because that's what you said would have to happen before you would get along with Will."

"Oh shut up…" He laughed. "And hey have you gone over to see Chris and the family yet?"

"What?" Claire asked.

"You know, Henry was texting you the other day..."

Claire blinked in surprise, and she was a good liar, but he could read his sister well. "Oh yeah he was telling me, no I haven't gotten over." She took a sip of her drink. "Speaking of Henry, he seems popular with the girls."

"Is he? Isn't that cute, Henry is such a good kid." Elizabeth smiled.

"What girls?" Connor asked.

"Apparently most of the school?" Claire shrugged.

"Well he's quite a catch." Elizabeth said.

Claire nodded and pushed her food around her plate.

They were just finishing up dinner when Connor's phone buzzed. It looked like he had his own urgent business to take care of.

He excused himself and practically ran up to his room.

"Peter, hey, thanks for getting back to me so soon." He said, sitting down at his desk.

"No problem, anything for you Rhodes." Connor could hear Peter grinning. "So listen I did a bit of digging, and Claire was right about Ava, it's messed up."

As soon as Connor had heard the news he knew he had to ask Peter, the boy knew everything and anything he didn't know he went after like a bloodhound.

"Yeah her Dad has no job and her Mom was kicked off of every charity board."

"Woah." Connor sighed. "So much for her friends huh?"

"Yeah, well consider the lawsuit dropped, I doubt they could afford to even move her back to Lakeshore either unless her grandparents chip in."

Connor breathed a sigh of relief, at least Sarah was safe.

"Well I don't want to say I'm happy but…I am! Man, c'mon, Sarah is sweet and Ava does something like that? Deserves what's coming to her, that's all I'll say." Peter ranted and while Connor appreciated his friends loyalty, he couldn't help but feel a little sorry for her. They had been friends for years and she had just lost her entire world.

But Sarah was okay and that was what mattered to him.

* * *

Ava Bekker showed up at Gaffney monday morning in late March, after having missed over half a month of school. She had taken the bus and apparently people only realized she'd been back when she had taken her place at Math.

Sarah was walking with Connor and Henry when they saw her. "You okay?" Connor asked as his girlfriend froze on the spot.

"I'm fine." She said, going ahead of him and joining Henry ready to start class. Doris even seemed hesitant to talk to the blonde girl, Sarah noticed and it tickled her off. Most of all, Ava just seemed sad.

Her classes, which were still a mix between school years took her from Jay to Emily, Connor and Nat and back again until she had lunch.

All of her friends had gathered at their usual table, Sarah still finding it funny that they were almost getting used to their small group, it was hard to think of Connor and Will being friendly with each other and then she remembered Connor had mentioned they would be going to the Junkyard to look for parts to fix up the car.

"Here, sit." Connor offered her his seat as Gabby of all people had taken the usual one between Emily and her boyfriend.

"Oh hey Sarah, sorry for just taking up your spot." Gabby said with a small smile. "Jay's just telling us about Erin."

"What about Erin?" Sarah asked Jay who glared at Gabby.

"Oh, she's staying with her aunt until the end of the school year." A smile was there but it was faint. He would still have to say goodbye to his girlfriend in june.

"That's good man." Henry commented trying to cheer him up. "You two can come up with a better way to make it work."

"I don't think I'd be good with long distance relationships." Jay commented moving his food around. "And it's not like I have enough money to go back and forth to New York."

"Cheer up Jay, at least you two can work things out and who knows, if it's meant to be, it will work out." Emily said. She then noticed Natalie trying to avoid Will's gaze.

"Nat?" Henry piped up, dragging their attention back to the girl a moment later. "Are you okay?"

"Fine….just…" She winced in pain and Henry jumped into action beside her. He was an expert after all. "How far apart are they?" Natalie glared at him. "Tell me Natalie."

"Ah, not too far." She gasped.

"Wait, she's not having the baby now, is she?" Jay said, clear panic in his voice as the rest of them were gathered around her in a beat.

"No, I don't think so, could be Braxton Hicks. Just a warning " Henry put in explaining, "Connor, call her Mom. They need to get her to the hospital."

"Can't we drive her?" Connor asked.

"No, they won't let all of us leave." Henry said. "Just call her. I'll stay with Nat." Sarah glanced over at Connor, worry written all over his face. He dialed Carol's number and explained the situation the best he could as Will and Henry helped her to her feet and called for Ms. Goodwin and Mr. Charles.

Sarah had never seen Henry so sure of himself. "Who do you think should be the doctor now?" Connor whispered beside her as the teachers dragged Natalie away with April joining the boys as they went.

Natalie's Mom arrived about ten minutes later and all of them made it just in time for their classes. "Sarah?" Connor had noticed his girlfriend being a little restless, she could barley focus as they sat together in Biology, they had been paired up together for the day since their respective partners were gone.

"I'm worried about Nat."

"Yeah, me too. But Henry said she won't even have to be admitted to the hospital."

"What if she has the baby today, isn't it a little early?" She asked. Connor glanced over at Will who was trying to focus on the lesson, Mrs. Dawson clearly noticed something was going on because she stopped talking.

"I understand you are all worried about Miss Manning." They all turned their attention to her. "Having a baby is something pretty scary." She commented as Connor turned to Sarah again, his eyes grueling into hers. She tried to listen to the teacher but all she could think was Natalie and how she was closer to having her baby.

Connor walked her to her next class. "I just got a text from Carol. She's taking Nat home. I guess Henry was right after all."

Sarah breathed a sigh of relief as they reached the door. "Are you still going to the Junkyard with Will after school?"

"Yeah, I figure the guy's gonna need to get his mind off things." Connor said softly, placing a finger on Sarah's cheek. "But I'll meet you before I leave and we can go get Jason together?"

She smiled. "Alright." He handed her her bag and waited until she was in her seat in History to leave.

Sarah was already late to get Jason when she went into the bathroom. She hurried along and was coming out of a stall when she heard something, it sounded like, someone was crying. She stepped outside, just to come out face to face with Ava Bekker. Her eyes were puffy, her makeup pretty much ruined and her usual smug expression was nowhere in sight. She then realized someone was watching her.

And that someone was Sarah.

Reese felt like she couldn't move. "Are you okay Ava?" She found herself asking the older girl.

"You can gloat, come on, I know you want to." Ava spat. "Looks like you've finally won."

Sarah felt a chill down her spine but as she watched the girl sniffle, all her fear suddenly faded away, offering her a kleenex she had grabbed from the stall behind her.

Ava watched it for a moment, hesitant. "Come on, take it." Sarah said, her voice somehow stronger.

And she did. "Why are you helping me?"

"Because, in spite of myself." Sarah said with a sigh. "It looks like you need it."

* * *

"Jason!" Connor got to Sarah's little brother as fast as he could and Mary thanked him because he had seemed to be a little more restless than usual. "What's going on?"

"He had an episode today in class. It wasn't that bad so we didn't need to take him to the nurse's office, but he is still pretty upset." Mary informed Connor. "Maybe I should take him home?"

"No, I want to ride the bus with Will and Jay!" Jason said as soon as he realized they were talking about him.

"Buddy…"

"No!" He said, taking off and Connor trailed after him. "Jason, bud, what's wrong?" He tried to grab him by the arm but instantly regretted trying to touch him, because the little boy froze at the the attempt and looked down, grabbing on his jacket's zipper.

"Jason, we've talked about running…" Mary scolded him when he caught up with them. Connor saw Sarah making her way over, a little out of breath.

"Sorry I'm late." She instantly noticed her brother's demeanor. "What's going on?"

"Mary thinks it's best if he doesn't ride the bus today." Connor informed her.

"What? Why?"

His aid explained the situation and Sarah sighed. It wasn't the first time this had happened in the last few weeks. "Jason, buddy, we need to get going, either the bus or Mary's car, but we have to get home."

He didn't look at her. "Can we have a milkshake?"

Connor watched as Sarah comforted her brother, even when he threw a tantrum after he'd been told that going to Molly's was a reward and he didn't deserve it.

As usual, he was in awe of his girlfriend's way in handling Jason, he was good when he didn't turn difficult, but Sarah? She was a true rockstar.

"Can you call me when you get back from the junkyard?" Sarah said as Jason spotted Jay and was already taking a seat next to him.

"Sure, is everything okay?" He knew something was up and not just regarding Jason.

"Yeah, just, I'll tell you later?" He nodded as she leaned to peck him quickly on the lips. "I love you." She said and he whispered it back, taking a step aside so the bus could pull away.

"Hey, everything okay?" Will asked as he and Connor stood watching the bus pull away, he'd seen some of what had gone down with Jason but he didn't feel like he should intervene. It would do more harm than good.

"Yeah, you ready to go?"

"You know Connor, if you want to go see Nat, we can do this another time." Will said biting his lip.

"Do you want to? Go see her I mean, I was going anyway." He retorted. "I figure we could, you know go check on the car and then Molly's. A milkshake will make her feel better for sure."

"I'm not sure if I should just show up at her house." Will said as they began to walk to the car.

"Why not?" Connor said. "You are her friend first and foremost, right?"

"I guess, but…"

"Come on Halstead, I'm trying here, don't make me beat you up."

Will sighed.

Yeah, he was still Natalie's friend and he hoped, at least, she'd be happy to see him.

* * *

 **Rhodestead is real! Rhodestead is real and how about that run in with Ava?**

 **And Dr.** **Hermann? Could be, hmmm...**


	38. Chapter 38

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 38**

If someone had told Connor he'd be driving to Molly's with Will Halstead in his passenger seat the year before he probably would have laughed.

"What are you kids up to?" Hermann asked as soon as he saw them. "Going to check on Natalie?"

Will shot him a look as Chris handed them a bag. "I made it extra crunchy."

"Thanks Hermann." Connor said. "Uh, actually, can you get me one of those cookies Jason loves? I'm heading over to Sarah's after."

"Oh, alright and their special order too?"

"Yeah, make it three." Connor commented. "I might as well be prepared, her Mom is probably working late."

Will shook his head sitting beside Connor at the counter.

"You are going over there?"

"Yeah, I'm worried about her. Ever since the whole Ava thing." Connor told him. "What?"

"I don't get you most times Rhodes, you are in deep water with Sarah's Mom and you still want her to catch you at her house?"

"Why are we even having this conversation?" Connor asked as Ashley, one of the girls who was working that afternoon handed him the order. "Let's go before we start having a heart to heart again."

"Hey, I thought it wasn't that bad." Will mused as Connor rolled his eyes as he hoped that would be the end of the beginning of that conversation, they remained quiet, he didn't turn on any music, if Halstead were to listen to his musical taste, his whole facade would fall completely.

He still had had to have some street credit to himself.

"Connor? Will?" Carol Manning stood there staring at the two boys.

"We thought this would make her feel better." Connor put in before Nat's Mom could recover from the shock of them arriving together.

"Natalie, honey. Will and Connor are here to see you!" She called. Will turned to look at Connor but he just rolled his eyes.

"Connor!" Lily came into view at the door with a huge smile. "Oh, you are the boy from the parties." She said to Will who raised an eyebrow.

Will couldn't remember the last time he'd been over to Natalie's house and her little sister clearly didn't register he'd been friends with her since they were probably her age.

"The one she's always talking about.." Lily said and Will blushed. "The one who's got red hair."

"Okay young lady, I believe you promised to clean upstairs before dinner, off you go." Carol said as the boys stepped into the house. "Natalie's coming down."

If someone had told Natalie Manning that two of the most important people in her life, who happened to barely stand each other would be there standing in the middle of the living room, she would have laughed.

 _Loudly._

"Hey guys." She said, imitating her mother's shocked face. "What's up?"

"We, uh, we thought you could use this." Will piped up.

"We?" She inquired.

"Well actually, I asked Halstead to come along."

"You did?"

"Yeah." Connor said placing the bag in front of her on the coffee table as Natalie took a seat on the couch. "And I have to go, you guys don't mind, do you?" Will almost jumped to the side, wondering if this had been Connor's plan all along. Will rubbed the back of his neck and looked at Natalie. "Yeah, sure I can take the bus home, if that's okay with you?" He told Natalie.

The girl smiled biting her lip. "Of course."

Connor smiled and if Natalie wasn't almost seven months pregnant, figured she would have tackled him for setting up a trap like this.

She and Will were friendly at school but he had a girlfriend and she a baby and a barely existent relationship with her soon to be ex.

Or was he? She hadn't dared to talk to Jeff yet, she wanted to be sure she was ready to end the most important relationship she'd had, with the father of her baby.

Connor said his goodbyes, shooting Natalie a glance as she glared at him as she watched him leave.

* * *

Sarah was about to call Connor when there was a knock on the door and she found her boyfriend staring at her.

"Hey, what… what are you doing here?" She let him in.

"I was worried about Jason and about you." He said as he stepped inside, the bag of the food from Molly's in his hand. "What do you guys think about an early dinner?"

"You didn't have to do that." She said as they sat down on the couch, Sarah holding to his free hand.

"No, but...I wanted to." He told her. "Where's Jason?"

"Upstairs." She said to him and as she sensed he was about to go get him she pulled on his arm. "Wait, I thought you were going over to Nat's?"

"I did." He said.

Sarah stared at him. "Yeah and where's Will?"

"With her."

"What?"

"Well, after the day she had, I thought she could use a friend, and other than me and Henry, WIll is the closest one she's got. I figured she's going to need him."

They all knew that Natalie and Will's relationship wasn't as strained as a few months before, but they barely talked to each other, which she would complain about and Connor was getting fed up with them not admitting to each other they missed being as close.

"You are amazing." Sarah said with a smile, leaning to kiss him deeply.

"Yeah?" He piped up. "How amazing?" He returned the kiss.

"You do know Natalie's going to kill you for putting her in that spot, right?"

"Maybe." He told her as they continued to kiss. "But it will be worth it."

"She told you, didn't she?" Sarah said, pulling away.

"About Jeff? Yeah." He said somberly. "I mean, they don't have to stay together just because of the baby." He registered it was the wrong thing to say because she pulled further away from him.

"My parents didn't stay together either when I was born so I guess I understand.."

"Sarah, I didn't mean it like that." He said quickly. "Natalie and Jeff, they weren't right for each other in the first place, it wouldn't be good for the baby. That's all."

"Okay." She said as she shifted the conversation but she couldn't shake it off, she knew why Natalie had become a teen mother and the fact that all her friends had seemed to talk about was sex didn't help, like Gabby Dawson had whispered it to Emily that day at school and Sarah hadn't mean to listen in.

She had wanted to talk about Ava, not about her or them, or sex.

It wasn't something they'd ever talked about much, but he was older, he was a junior and he was Connor Rhodes.

Of course there had been girls before her. Including Ava Bekker.

Thank goodness for Jason who had come down, his eyes had lit up when he had seen Connor. He seemed calmer now, but Sarah had explained to Connor that he'd been having some problems at school lately.

His Mom had even been called in and that hadn't happened since they had first arrived to Chicago.

Sarah left the couch and focused on her brother. "Guess what buddy? Connor brought dinner from Molly's."

"And a special cookie if you finish the whole thing." Connor added in. Jason then made a remark on how it was a little early for dinner and Sarah offered him 20 more minutes on the tablet if he was in bed early.

Of course, he complied easily. They set up the food in the small kitchen table and ate in silence. "Is Connor in trouble?" He asked Sarah.

Both teens shared a glance. "Why do you say that?"

"Because he looks like he did something wrong and you aren't talking to him, Only to me and you always talk to Connor." Jason explained and Sarah sighed.

"No, uh, we just want to hang out with you buddy, that's all." Sarah explained.

"That's what Mom says." Jason replied. "When she doesn't want me to know that something is wrong."

"Nothing is wrong Jason."

"It is, if you are quiet like that." Jason put in. Sarah then sent him upstairs to take a shower and they were left alone again.

"That kid is too smart." Connor commented as they cleaned up the kitchen.

"I'm sorry about earlier." Sarah said, not meeting his eye. "It's just…"

"No, I am sorry. I wasn't thinking." He scratched the back of his ear. "But Nat has already said she wants to end it with Jeff and I think it's what's best for her."

"You're just looking out for her." Sarah admitted. "I get it, and plus, then she can date Will?" Sarah tried to lighten the mood but Connor rolled his eyes as she leaned against the sink.

"Well, he wouldn't be the worst option." Sarah's eyes widened. "But if you say anything about me admitting that Sarah Reese, I will never kiss you again."

Sarah bit her lip playfully. "Oh really?"

"Yes really. I'm trying to make amends with Halstead, but I don't want others to know, okay? I would never hear the end of it, especially from him."

"Fine." Sarah mused. But like you would stand not kissing me. Ever. Again."

"Is that a challenge Reese?" He hadn't called her that since they had started dating, Sarah was about to reply when Jason called for her. "Go."

Sarah sighed and tried to kiss him but he just moved his lips to her cheek. She glared at him as Connor grinned, grabbing the phone buzzing in his pocket. It was Natalie scolding him for the dirty trick of dropping Will on her doorstep which put a smile on Connor's face.

He quickly reworked his expression into something that looked innocent and responsible and not one that meant he was looking forward to getting to kiss Sarah when they were alone when the front door opened and Susan called to say she was home.

Connor heard the voices in the hall as Sarah came downstairs.

"Connor. Good evening." Susan attempted a smile. "I hear you made Jason's day. How's your Mom doing?"

He could do polite chit chat, they had taken classes in it as kids. What good were social events if one couldn't talk to everyone?

"Good, thank you. We're actually having a small get together for her birthday next weekend, she'd love for you all to come."

"Oh well we wouldn't want to intrude."

"Oh no, it's just a casual thing with a birthday cake, the Herrmann's are coming, and the Mannings and a few of mine and Claire's friends, the more the merrier. And Mom really wants to meet Jason, she's eh, heard a lot about him."

"Well, we'll see how Jason is that day…" Susan said. "But if he's up for it, we'll call in for a little while."

"That'd be great." He gave her his most charming smile.

"...Are you staying much longer? Sarah has study to be getting to."

Ah, just when he thought he'd won her over again. He'd keep working on it.

"Mom, can he just stay a little longer? I didn't get that much homework today." Sarah asked.

"Fine. Half an hour." Susan told the two teenagers who nodded in sync. She left the room making sure to leave the door to the kitchen open, wide.

So much for kissing her like he had planned.

But it didn't really matter, not when she smiled at him as sat way too close to him and intertwined their fingers.

"Hi." He grinned and watched her blush.

"Hi." She replied shyly. He watched her as she looked at their hands, deep in thought.

"Do...do you want us to kiss more?" She asked in hushed tones, well aware of her mother in the background.

"What?" He asked, genuinely confused.

"Do you think we don't kiss enough?"

Connor wasn't sure how to answer without stepping his foot in it like he had about Nat and Jeff. He didn't think he would ever be able to kiss her enough but he didn't want to pressure her.

"I mean...I really like kissing you?" He answered tentatively. "But I haven't really thought of us doing anything else.."

"Yeah...It's just…"

"What is it?"

"I don't know, it's fine, really, just something I've been thinking and...can we talk about it some other time?" She asked, glaring pointedly to where her Mom had just walked past the doorway.

"Sure thing." He promised.

"So...I saw Ava today, in the bathroom."

Sarah had to squeeze his hand that had gone slack in hers at the admission, "Are you okay? Did she say anything? What happened?" He couldn't help all the urgent questions falling from his lips.

"Nothing happened...she was upset actually…" Sarah admitted.

"Upset?"

"Yeah, and it just changed everything you know?" He didn't, so he let his girlfriend continue. "Like she had all this power over me, making my life miserable and making me afraid and then to see her like that...she's not so scary after all." Sarah sighed. "I actually feel sorry for her."

It didn't seem to stop to amaze Connor just what kind of person Sarah was, he definitely wouldn't wish harm on anyone, but Ava had made Sarah suffer and that would never be okay, especially because she'd done it because of him.

"Did she say anything to you?" He asked again.

"No, she just walked away when I offered to help her, but it was like she seemed, lost." Sarah said deep in thought. "I wonder if maybe something happened in her family and that's why she missed so much of school?"

Connor bit his lip. "Ah, her Dad is in trouble financially. He made some bad investments and lost a lot of money, made people lose theirs too." He said after a moment, debating with himself how much he should tell her. "They pretty much lost everything."

"Oh." Sarah didn't know how to reply. "That's terrible." Was all she could say. "I mean, Ava is not my favorite person in the world but no one should go through something like that, she's still just a kid."

Connor smiled. "I wish I could see the world the way you do." He admitted. Sarah just stared at him. "The truth is, I've known what life it's like without being rich, but that's because of my mom. Ava, that life is all she knows."

"So, you have seen the world that way." Sarah replied. "You know what it's like to be on the other side."

"No, not really." He said with a sigh. "But I wish I could. I mean all my life it's been about my father's legacy. That's what I have to look forward to, and it's a world that I know too well and so does Ava."

"You are nothing like Ava." Sarah retorted.

"Yeah, the thing is, I am, it's who I'm laid out to be." He admitted. "And it's not that easy to let go."

Sarah touched his arm. "That's Connor Rhodes, that's not _my_ Connor." He looked at her with those deep blue eyes as he leaned a little closer into her, their lips ghosting each other.

Susan knocked on the door frame of the kitchen. "Sarah. Connor needs to go now."

They pulled away and got up reluctantly. "I'll see you at school tomorrow?" He said eying Susan from his spot, the cold was starting to wind down but he still shivered a little from being outside. He kissed her softly on the cheek, brushing it as he offered her a smile. "I love you."

"I love you too. Text me when you get home?"

He did, and promised her a few make up kisses the next day.

* * *

Henry picked up Natalie as usual for school so she hadn't seen Connor that morning.

"You are in so much trouble Rhodes!" She shot at him when she found him by his locker.

"Good morning?"

"What were you thinking?" She said, still glaring at him.

"Come on Nat as if you weren't glad to get a chance to talk to the guy." Connor replied.

"Not like that!" She huffed. "He has a girlfriend Connor and I'm still having a baby and I have to deal with Jeff. It's not that simple."

"Exactly. That's why you needed to talk to Halstead. He might not be my favorite person on the planet but he's important to you."

"So, you did this for me?"

"Duh," Connor huffed. "I didn't do it for him. You two have been moping around each other for months now."

Natalie sighed, resting her back against the locker row.

"So you being friendly with Will was just for show?"

"No, to be honest, I don't totally hate the guy as it turns out. We've been working on his car and after what happened yesterday we thought you might need a pick me up. He was worried about you."

"Wait, hold up. You two have been working on his car?" Connor nodded. "Since when?"

"A few days." He shrugged.

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Connor?"

"Hey guys." Henry was making his way over to them.

"Did you know he was helping Will with his car?" Natalie asked the other boy. Henry eyed Connor suspiciously.

"Well Dad said they looked pretty chummy at Molly's yesterday. Wait since when are you friends with Will?"

Connor sighed and pushed his way over when he saw Sarah. "I've gotta go, I'll see you guys later, yeah?"

"He's unbelievable!" Natalie huffed.

Henry smiled. What happened?"

"Did you know he was going to do that? Drop Will at my house?"

"He what?"

"Yeah then we sat awkwardly for about 20 minutes."

"And?"

"Then I told him that I was going to break up with Jeff." Natalie sighed.

 _Ouch_.

"And then he said he would be there for me no matter what."

"So, that's not good?" Henry tried to wrap his head around it. It had never been that easy to understand girls but now with Natalie pregnant, he didn't want to upset her any further and it was even harder to try and understand her.

"No! I don't know…" she said, her emotions getting the best of her. "I just don't want Will to get the wrong idea." Henry waited for her to keep going. "He has a girlfriend Henry."

"So, that means you can't be friends?"

"I don't know what it means."

The bell rang, making them both scramble for their books and head over to class.

"Is everything okay?" Sarah asked Connor while eyeing Natalie and Henry by the lockers.

"Well, I'm still in one piece." He mused.

Sarah didn't reply as she saw her sophomore friends walk by, her eyes locking with Gabby's.

The school bell rang again and she reluctantly pulled away from Connor. She had to get to that morning's class.

When she got there all the girls were gathered talking about having some kind of sleepover.

"It can be at my house." Emily piped up. "I'm sure if it was my Mom she would let me. Anything to keep me at home." She said with a frown.

"How about Saturday?" Gabby put in.

"Sarah, are you in?" Emily turned to her.

"Sorry, can't, Connor is having this thing for his Mom's birthday."

"Aww. He's the sweetest. Okay so how about Friday? Come on Sarah you have to be there." Emily pleaded.

"Okay, but I have to clear it with my Mom." Sarah warned but it didn't stop Emily from cheering.

"Should I ask?" Jay inquired as he approached the group of girls.

"Sorry Halstead, official girls night committee in progress." Emily told him while patting his arm.

"So, I don't want to know." He pulled a face.

"You're just jealous you're not invited." Emily shoved him with her arm as they made their way into the classroom.

"Totally." He deadpanned with a roll of his eyes, "Anyway, now I might actually have some free time, apparently Connor is now Will's car buddy."

"Aw does that mean you get to see Erin more now?" Emily asked in a more serious voice and Sarah listened in. The only person that Jay let talk about Erin was Emily.

"Yeah, hopefully." He said, with a small smile that still wasn't quite as hopeful.

* * *

Susan had let Sarah go to the sleepover a little too easily, but Sarah knew it was because her Mom had a work event and Jason was sleeping over at James's but she drove Sarah to Emily's house and watched her enter and only drove away when Emily's parents waved from the doorway.

Sarah got to thank Emily's parents for having her over and letting her stay before Emily had dragged her up to her bedroom. They passed Ethan on their way upstairs who looked dressed up.

"Someone's got a date." Emily declared in a sing song voice.

"Shut up Em. Hi Sarah." He nodded as they passed.

"You're the last one here, we're all set up." Emily declared as she opened her room's door.

The room screamed Emily. Cluttered, disorganised and totally inviting.

Gabby and Monique said hi as Sarah took a seat on the huge bed. It looked like Emily had dragged extra air beds in and apparently only had pink _everything_.

Popcorn was already in big bowls, the TV was set up with a teen romcom and Emily wasted no time in turning off the lights as they all settled down to watch the movie and forget about the week of school.

Their pizza arrived when the movie was finished and they all changed into their pyjamas. They chatted about school and their families and the lastest rumours while they ate and Sarah relaxed into the evening.

She loved Natalie, Henry and the rest of the juniors but these were the friends she made herself and she missed them, along with all her junior classes.

"So…" Gabby said, looking at each girl. "Are we not talking about the boys?"

"Oh my gosh, I thought you'd never ask! My love life is so totally dead I need to live through you two." Emily declared pointing at Gabby and Sarah.

Sarah tensed up immediately, this was what she had been dreading.

"So...how are things with Matt? Tell us everything!" Emily giggled and so did Gabby and Sarah just tried to swallow the lump in her throat.

Reese was stuck between wanting to be involved and wanting to cover her ears and live in innocence.

"Well _obviously_ he's an amazing kisser!" Gabby gushed, "And well our hands tend to roam you know…" She smirked.

"Have you two... _you know?_ " Emily asked.

"Not yet. But I mean it won't be long, we got past second base on our first date. We can't keep our hands off each other." Gabby and Emily were laughing and Monique was smiling but Sarah could feel the doubts and worries invading her mind.

She didn't even know what the bases were. And sure, she loved kissing Connor but she thought that was enough for now. She thought it was only Natalie who had gone any further. Apparently not.

She started squirming in her seat, anticipating the question before it was asked.

"So c'mon, don't hold out on us Sarah, you and Connor have been together for _ages_ …" Gabby said.

"Yeah, how far have you two gone?" Emily finished.

She had felt inadequate in her old school, never cool enough to have friends, never smart enough for the really smart kids and she thought she wouldn't have to face it again. But there she was, feeling like she was failing in the one part of her life that she thought had been going well recently.

"Uh...I mean…"

"Ugh don't be shy! We're friends here right?" Gabby prodded.

"Well I presume that Connor Rhodes is an awesome kisser?" Emily grinned.

"Yeah...Well I can't objectively say really, I've only kissed one other person so I don't have a proper sample but I like kissing him…" She said.

Emily and Gabby started laughing and Monique bit her lip.

"Sarah! It's not a biology report, Silly! Is it mind blowing? Make your knees weak?" Emily asked.

"Or is it like a washing machine like some of my ex boyfriends have been?" Gabby laughed.

"Are you calling Jay a bad kisser?" Emily shot all of a sudden.

"Oh that was one kiss and no Halstead can hold his own actually." Gabby retorted.

"Ehh..I'm hungry for more popcorn, you mind if I make some more Em?" Monique asked, reaching for the empty bowl.

"No, go ahead. Want me to come with?"

"Oh Sarah, you're out of soda like me, want to come and help me carry it back up. I think we got it Emily." Monique smiled, beckoning for Sarah to follow. But the words were lost on the other two who were now in an argument over which Halstead brother would be a better boyfriend.

Sarah took the chance to escape like grabbing a lifeline, even if she didn't think she could eat anymore popcorn that night.

"So…" Sarah grappled of what to say after the room they had come out of.

"They're a little boy crazy huh?" Monique mused with a wry smile. "I've grown up with that. They started a bet on who could have their first high school kiss first in freshman year."

"Oh." Sarah said, thinking to herself that she was kind of glad she hadn't been there.

"Yeah...they don't mean any harm and I love talking about boys and crushes and things but...it's a little…"

"Intrusive?"

Monique nodded, "And over the top." She said as they entered the kitchen.

She put the popcorn into the microwave, "And you don't have to tell them anything you don't want to, sometimes when those two get together they can get a bit nosy." Monique explained.

"I do love kissing Connor…" Sarah admitted with a shy smile. "It's like it's just us in the world and no one else… I don't even know how to describe it."

"Yeah?" Monique asked with a smile of her own. Their own secret.

Sarah nodded, "But I...we...haven't done anything else." She admitted in a small voice because she felt like Monique got it. She had helped her duck any further questioning anyway.

"Oh don't worry about that. I mean...don't tell them, but I haven't even had my first real kiss yet." Monique admitted. "...but your relationship, it's between you and Connor, not what everyone else thinks, and at your pace, you know?"

Sarah _did_ know but it was still nice to hear that someone else understood it.

They got the popcorn from the microwave when it was finished and got a few more cans of soda and started back up the stairs.

Sarah's phone buzzed as they took their places again, "Is that Connor?" Emily asked.

And Sarah blushed because it was.

"Yeah, he just said to have a good night, that he loves me and he can't wait to see me tomorrow." Sarah explained as she sent him a quick message back.

"See that is what I want!" Emily declared, falling back on the bed with a sigh.

"He's so sweet" Monique gushed.

"Do you two text much?" Gabby asked.

"Yeah and we call too, and it does help that I have more classes with him so I'm lucky I get to see him a lot I guess."

"He seems really sweet."

"He really is." Sarah beamed, "He's so great and when he just looks at me it's like the rest of the world disappears…" Sarah sighed happily and all four girls smiled.

"Yeah, he never takes his eyes off you, it's so cute." Emily gushed.

"And he's great at planning dates and great with Jason and, well, yeah, it's pretty great. He's pretty great." She smiled shyly.

"I'm so happy for you but also omg I'm so alone!" Emily laughed, "Let's watch another movie, preferably with some cute guy as the main character."

They settled down to watch another movie and Sarah felt like she could relax again. Monique offered her a warm smile as if telling her everything would work out and she believed her.

* * *

 **Soo Connor ships Manstead? Who's on board too? Next chapter is Elizabeth's birthday party, prepare for all the feels.**


	39. Chapter 39

**Holding On**

 **C** **hapter 39**

The girls were woken the next morning by Emily's Mom calling them to say that Susan was there to collect Sarah.

They had ended up staying up way too late, watching another movie and chatting about school and what their dreams were. Sarah apologised to the other tired girls as she grabbed her bag as quickly as she could and said goodbye. Gabby mumbled something into her pillow, Monique waved sleepily and Emily yawned the entire way down the stairs as she walked her to the door.

Jason was already in the car. Not a good sign.

Sarah thanked Emily and Mrs Choi again before getting in the passenger seat.

"Sorry for collecting you so early Sweetie, someone wanted to see you."

"Dad said you weren't at home. I don't like that." Jason told her with wide eyes.

"I'm here now." She tried to reassure him before she yawned.

Jason yawned too. "I got up early to come find you. Can you come to Dad's next time?"

Sarah cleared her throat, she appreciated the effort James was putting in but it still wasn't exactly comfortable for her to stay over.

"Well firstly we all have to have breakfast and get ready for later, remember we're going to Connor's Mom's birthday today?" Susan asked.

"Is Connor's Mom like Connor?" Jason asked for what must be the hundredth time, Sarah knew he was nervous. A party, no matter how small, was a big deal for him.

"She's just as nice, I promise."

* * *

They had breakfast and Sarah had a nap before she took a shower and got ready for the party. Jason demanded to put his 'best' clothes on which were his best jeans and a new yellow shirt with Bumblebee on it. Sarah settled on a nice sweater and jeans but looked at herself in the mirror and wondered for a split second if she should wear something different, more revealing, or flattering or elegant.

She shook the doubtful voices from her head. Connor wouldn't mind and she felt comfortable. And the sweater complimented her eyes.

But when the time came to leave, and Jason picked up the hand made card he had for Elizabeth Sarah could see the hesitation return.

"Are Will and Jay going?"

"No, I don't think so Buddy, just some of Connor's other friends, you know Henry from Molly's."

Jason frowned.

Sarah and James had come to an agreement for take the bus once or twice a week, Jason loved it and it had been helping him become friendlier with other people besides Jay and Wil. She knew he was trying to be a good Dad but it was hindering her brother, they all had to compromise.

"Can we stay here, Mom can go instead." Jason pleaded just as the front door bell rang.

"Who on earth is that?" Their Mom asked as she went to answer it. Jason was still fidgeting with his shirt when Susan came back into the room with Connor in tow.

"Connor!" Jason jumped up. "Do you like my shirt?"

Connor laughed fondly, "I love it."

Jason sat back down, still turning the card in his hand.

Sarah shot him a questioning and surprised look but she didn't even have to ask the question before he answered it.

"I eh thought that you might want to come with me to the party, I was just driving by." He rubbed the back of his neck and Sarah knew he was lying. He had planned it because she had been worrying ever since he mentioned the party that Jason wouldn't want to go, how it was becoming harder to keep him integrated with people, how he was having a rough time in school lately.

But he loved Connor. And would happily go anywhere with him.

"I could drive you all and then I'll make sure you get extra cake when I bring you home?"

"I get to go in your car?" Jason asked.

"Yep and I'll show you all my old toys if you want?" Connor asked.

Jason started putting on his coat and Sarah smiled before hugging Connor, not caring what her Mom thought. "Thank you." She whispered in his ear.

Jason peppered Connor with questions about the people at the party and what toys he had but Connor didn't seem to mind.

They pulled up to his house and her Mom shot her a look when she saw the sheer size of it. Connor led them up the steps and opened the door as Jason stayed firmly behind Sarah.

This was such a huge step for him and Sarah felt like crying.

"Oh Sarah! It's so good to see you, it's been a while, we've missed you" Katie exclaimed before pulling Sarah into a hug. "And you must be Jason, I've heard so much about you. I hear you've been taking very good care of Optimus Prime hmm? Connor's Mom can't wait to meet you. Come on in." Katie gushed, but didn't make any attempt to hug or overcrowd Jason.

She welcomed her Mom in too but Sarah was still over the moon with the shy glance her brother had given Katie.

"She's expecting you in the living room," Katie told Connor as she took the family's coats.

"I've told everyone not to overwhelm him." Connor whispered to her, "but if he needs to leave or needs a minute, just let me know okay?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowed with worry.

"I love you." She told him in response. _How on earth did she get so lucky?_

"Hey Jason!" Henry appeared from the kitchen, "Hi Sarah, hi Mrs Reese."

Jason waved, "Are you cooking today?"

Henry winked at him as if they were in on a conspiracy, "I made sure to bring milkshakes with Oreos just like you like it." He grinned as he made to duck back out of sight.

"Thank you." Sarah mouthed as Connor opened the door to the living room where Elizabeth was sitting up eagerly like a child on Christmas morning.

"Oh you're all so good to come." She smiled warmly. "Hello Sarah, Susan...and you must be Jason?" Elizabeth gave him another smile and Jason looked over at Sarah, then Connor. "I've been waiting a while to meet you, I love your shirt."

Jason nodded. "It has a Bumblebee like the one Connor gave me for Christmas, he says he'll show me his toys, but first we're having cake."

"I see, well, why doesn't Connor take you over with Katie and you can ask her if it's ready?" Elizabeth suggested. He fidgeted with his shirt looking down again and realizing he had the Birthday card he had made still in his hand.

"Here." He said to her, reaching out his hand, Elizabeth stretched out a little from her seat to take the paper from him. "I'm glad you are not in the hospital anymore. It made Connor miss school and he wasn't there with Sarah to pick me up."

Susan tensed up instantly but relaxed when he added. "And it made Connor sad, Sarah told me it did."

"Thank you sweetheart." The woman said, eyeing her son. "Well, you know what Jason? I'm glad too." Elizabeth said kindly. "I don't like to see anyone I care about being sad."

"Me neither." Jason put in.

"Come on buddy, how about we go find that cake now?" Sarah offered, shooting a smile Elizabeth's way.

"He reminds me of you when you were that age." Elizabeth whispered to Connor as she waved the Reese siblings and offered Susan a seat beside her.

Connor smiled shyly, squeezing her hand as he went.

* * *

Claire arrived about 20 minutes after the Reese family, with Adam and Kim in tow. "Claire, come meet Sarah's Mom." Elizabeth called for her daughter.

"Mrs. Reese, it's good to meet you." Claire said charmingly. "Can we get you anything?"

"No, thank you. I'm fine." Susan replied, Adam and Kim introduced themselves and they chatted for a little while.

"So my father has a horse ranch outside the city." Kim was saying. "I'm actually preparing myself to take over for him one day."

"Sarah used to ride as a little girl actually, but Jason, well he doesn't do well with pets." Susan explained. Kim's gaze softened.

"Oh, well actually, my Dad has a friend who specializes in helping kids, through having to work with animals, if you'd let me, I could put up an appointment for Jason."

Susan smiled. "No, really you shouldn't bother yourself."

"It's no problem, Sarah and Connor talk about Jason all the time, I'd love to help."

"I'm sure we couldn't afford it." She interjected.

"I can work something out with David, he and my Dad have worked together for years, it'd be totally fine." Kim offered. "Here, let me give you my number and if you think it's a good option for Jason, let me know."

Susan lowered her face, finally giving in and putting the number down on her phone. "Thank you."

"Of course." Kim smiled. Claire and Adam then pulled her away as Susan tried to focus on a conversation she was having with Elizabeth.

"Subtle much?" Claire smiled.

"What?" Kim said. "It would be a good option for Jason, kids with autism respond well to interactive therapy."

"I don't doubt that, but I have a feeling that woman doesn't like people knowing about her kid."

"Well, I for one would love to meet him." Kim put in, just as Connor and Sarah were coming out of the kitchen.

"Hey you two." Claire called. "You do know upstairs is off limits right?"

Adam rolled his eyes at Claire as Sarah blushed and Connor glared.

"Ignore her, nice to see you Sarah." Kim said hugging the younger girl. "How are you?"

"I'm good thanks." She smiled and then greeted Claire and Adam as Connor imitated her.

"We just saw your Mom, is your little brother here too?" Kim asked.

"Yeah, he's with Katie." Sarah said. "She promised him two slices of cake before anyone else so he's staying there, at least for a little while."

Kim smiled just as Jason was coming out with Katie. "Hey buddy, what's up?"

"Can you show me your toys now?" He asked Connor, he then noticed the other 3 kids he had not seen and instantly tensed up.

"Hey Jason, remember I told you about Connor's friends?" Jason nodded, looking over.

"You are tall." He said to Adam who smiled. He then greeted the two girls as well.

"Is he okay?" Connor asked Sarah in a whisper. "I don't know if all the kids will be too much for him, they are all outback."

"He's fine." Sarah said smiling. "Is Nat coming?"

"Yeah, she just texted me." He replied, still eyeing Jason.

"Connor, you are more nervous than he is." Sarah pointed out, he turned back to her shyly. "He's fine, don't worry."

"My Dad says he might get me a dog soon but I have to keep it at his house." Jason was saying. "Do you have dogs?" He asked Claire who he had pointed out couldn't be Connor's friend but his sister because they looked alike.

They did actually have a few, but not small enough not to make him more nervous. Just as on cue the door opened again and the crowd of Manning siblings came through. Lily instantly spotting Connor.

"Connor! Do you want to see what me and Olivia made for your Mom?" She piped up, not really caring that the others were there too.

Jason eyed the little girl suspiciously. "Oh, hi. I'm Lily." She told him, he seemed smaller enough for him to shake her hand, but Jason actually retreated back."It's okay, you're supposed to shake peoples hands when you meet them. My mommy says to always be polite."

"Lily! Oh, I can't believe you!" Natalie called from the door, almost out of breath. "Mom, she's right here!" She called back. "Didn't I tell you to wait for me?"

"Yeah, but I wanted to show Connor, the special present we made for Liza." Lily said, almost pouting.

Natalie rolled her eyes entering the house and joining them. "Are you alright?" Claire asked as Lily showed off a small box they had for sure wrapped themselves.

"Fine, but she's getting a little impossible." Natalie whispered. "Or maybe I'm easily annoyed, I don't know."

Claire smiled. "Or both." They then turned to Lily who was still focused on Jason.

"Do you want to color with me?" She offered. "I've brought enough." Lily said, glancing at the small bag on her back.

Jason looked over at Sarah and then at Connor. "You know what bud? You can make something to show Dad when we see him tomorrow?" His sister suggested.

"Lils, this is Jason, he's Sarah's brother, do you think you can show him where the treasure is once you are done coloring?"

"Oh, so he can be a pirate too?" Lily inquired. "Yeah, come on Jason." Jason turned around, surprising everyone, following Lily as she went. "

What just happened?" Claire asked.

"I think he just made a friend." Natalie smiled. "Lily does have a way with boys, more so with Connor though." She mused.

"Oh, should Sarah be jealous then?" Adam joked and they laughed, relaxing a bit.

They all moved to a small room in the back, closer to the living room so Sarah could keep an eye on Jason and Natalie on her siblings. Henry soon joined them.

It was a few times in their lives that they actually got to interact with Connor's other friends but Sarah noticed, they all got along pretty well and he seemed happy to have them all together.

"So, now how long have you two been dating?" Kim said all of the sudden to the younger kids.

Connor looked at Sarah who blushed. "Like Claire doesn't tell you."

"Hey! I actually like Sarah, of course I want to brag." Claire replied. Sarah had another shock, but was glad she was accepted also by Claire. She then did the math in her head, it had seemed that time had gone fast but then again so slow, Emily had said she had been with Connor for ages, although, yes, they had only been dating for about four months.

 _It seemed longer to both of them though._

"Aww, that's so cute, those first few months are the sweetest, then it turns to years and you feel like some old couple…" She said, grabbing on Adam's cheek.

"Oh, great keep reminding me my little brother is better at romance than me." Claire mused.

Henry suddenly tensed up, and Sarah and Nat noticed.

They kept talking and Sarah realized just how respectful Adam and Kim where of Natalie's situation. Kim even gushing to her and asking her to invite her to her baby shower.

The door was called on again, Peter had arrived with his sister and Nathan.

It was then that Henry left to check on his siblings, offering to keep an eye on Jason.

Connor stood up to welcome the rest of his friends and walked them over to say hello to his Mom, Sarah let out a deep breath.

"You okay?" Natalie asked once Claire, Kim and Adam had excused themselves too.

Sarah smiled. "Yeah, this house, it's just a lot to take in."

"Yeah, try growing up coming to playdates." Natalie smiled. "You'll get used to it."

"Nat?"

"Yeah?"

"Does he seem, okay to you, Connor, I mean?" Sarah asked.

"How so?" They both turned to where Susan and the other adults were saying hello to the Mills siblings and Nathan.

"At first I thought it was because he wanted to make Jason comfortable, but now I'm not so sure."

"Well, he probably just wants everything to go perfect for his Mom. He might not show it but he's a little manitic like Claire about events. Guess it comes with the territory of being a Rhodes."

Sarah nodded but somehow couldn't shake the feeling that there was something else going on with him.

* * *

"Oh Chris and I know each other since we were kids." Cindy was telling Susan. "Liz too actually." Susan turned to the other woman who gave out a shy smile. "We went to High School together."

"Oh?"

"Long story, she's not going to finish it before the night is over, it was a long time ago." Hermann put in. "Ancient history, hey did you check on Henry?"

"You should let him just enjoy himself with his friends Chris." Cindy scolded him.

"It's not him I'm worried about, I don't want the Cubic Menace breaking anything." Hermann said, referring to Kenny, Max and Luke. Annabelle was the only one who never caused any trouble.

Cindy was holding onto baby Sophie while the rest of them ran around so it worried Chris. "I still don't know how you do it." Susan let out. "I have two and most times, it just feels like I don't have control over anything."

Cindy smiled, toting Sophie. "Well, when you have kids, you can't really control anything."

"Sometimes I feel like I'm running my own fire squad or something." Hermann let out. "But it's the best feeling in the world, right? Even if I complain." He tried to not look at Elizabeth. "Makes it all worth it."

"Oh, and yours are wonderful kids, Sarah is such a good sister and Jason is the sweetest." Cindy said.

"I'd say we all got pretty lucky with our bunch." He beamed. "And same goes for Connor and Claire, they're both great kids."

Susan was left with a good feeling about them all, it had certainly been Connor who had taken Jason out of his shell when they had arrived to Chicago, alongside with the Halstead brothers. She was grateful for that, and for that boy being so good to Sarah too.

"Lizzie, you okay?" Chris asked worriedly when Elizabeth seemed to zoom out all of the sudden.

"I'm fine, just a little tired." She said. "Would you mind getting Kelly for me? I'm sure she's in the kitchen with Katie." Cindy nodded and dashed off in search for the nurse, still holding her baby

"Mom?" Connor had like a radar to Elizabeth's illness because he appeared by her side."Do you want to go upstairs, maybe it would be good for you to lie down."

"No, I'm fine…"

"Excuse me, sorry." Kelly pushed her way through, in moments Sarah was also by Elizabeth's side next to Connor.

"Her oxygen levels are a little low." Kelly whispered to Connor and Chris who knelt beside Elizabeth. "Connor honey, I need you to get me the tank from upstairs."

"No, really, I'm alright…"

"I'm sorry ma'am but you have to, we need to get those levels back up right away." Kelly said kindly but Connor was already on his feet as Sarah followed him.

"Is she okay?" Sarah asked climbing up the stairs behind him and entering into his Mom's room.

"Yeah, she will be." Connor said, unplugging the base of the machine and grabbing it. "She's just getting tired quickly lately."

Sarah helped him with the small tank and tubes and they made their way downstairs where Chris was still kneeling beside Elizabeth.

Kelly hurried to put it on as Connor expertly helped her.

Susan had remained frozen on her spot.

* * *

The party kept going after that but Sarah could see that her boyfriend's demeanor had changed greatly, maybe that was what had him nervous after all, he had wanted everything to turn out perfectly but there was just things he couldn't fix or pretend weren't happening.

She lost track of him after Jason had called for her and she had prevented a tantrum, she didn't want Susan to have another excuse to want to go, she had already told Sarah they should probably leave, but that would only hurt Elizabeth further, for once she wanted to enjoy being with those close to her without her illness looming over, Sarah could understand that much.

"Sarah, I can't find Connor and it's almost time for the cake, then he said he'd show me his toys." Jason was saying to her after she had scanned the room searching for him.

"I know buddy, I'm going to go find him now, alright?" She said and smiled, greatly relieved when Lily came in search of Jason again because apparently they weren't done with treasure hunting.

Sarah couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't the first time everyone in the party had experienced one of these episodes before though, because they all tried to go back to normalcy, after all, Elizabeth had been dealing with it for six years.

"Hey guys, have you seen Connor?" Sarah asked Nathan, Kim and Adam who were standing by a corner in their own conversation. Claire sat beside her mother as she and the other adults tried to go back to a normal chat, Elizabeth was smiling, even if it was faintly so it had seemed to be working.

"Oh, no we thought he was with you?" Kim said, scanning around for him.

"Hey, where's Peter?"

"I hope you are not thinking about doing what I know you are thinking of doing with your Mom in the other room." A voice said behind Connor as he passed his father's office, Peter knew Cornelius had alcohol stashed in there.

Connor huffed. "Ah, no. I'm not that desperate."

"You okay man?" Peter asked, walking closer to him. "It's a stupid question I know, but are you?" Connor didn't look at him but merely shrugged.

"I'm fine."

"Right, then why are you hiding?" Peter inquired, Connor huffed.

"I'm not. Did they sent you to find me?"

Peter leaned back on the wall as Connor did the same. "No, not exactly, uh, I wanted to tell you about the Ava situation."

Connor's eyes shined. "Did you talk to your Dad?"

"Sort of." Peter admitted scratching the back of his neck. "He said that he and Shawn, offered Bekker the job. A fresh start you know? But he didn't take it."

It had been a week since Sarah's encounter with Ava, since then the girl seemed to keep to herself, eyeing them a few times, but never sneering or making comments anymore. Even Doris had decided to retreat a little from the once Ice Queen as Monique had called her.

And it made Sarah a bit sad, because her once so called friend hadn't been there for her, Sarah had been through that more than once, pretend convenience relationships and cold shoulders. So she had told Connor and they had decided to help her, against himself, Connor had admitted to Peter and Peter in return had said he was better than him, he wouldn't have forgiven Ava so quickly, but Connor had done it for Sarah, not Ava, plus he had wanted the help to be anonymous so he had asked his friends because he could never come to his father, he was still reeling from the transaction mess of the whole Bekker ordeal in the company so his friend's parents had come through for him and Sarah. But now it seemed that Mr. Bekker was a bit more proud than he had pretended to be.

"What?"

Peter shrugged. "My Dad said the man is thinking about moving away, back to his country."

Connor bit the inside of his cheek in thought. "Maybe it's for the best, I don't think Ava would appreciate being our charity case, specially if Sarah is involved."

"Hey, at least you were trying to help her, even after what she did to the two of you." Peter said, patting Connor on the arm. "Want to go back out there?"

"In a minute." His friend said, still resting his back on the wall but Peter had moved to start making his way back, he glanced over at Connor and then walked away.

He met Sarah on his way back to the main room where the party was. "Peter, have you seen Connor?" The Mill's youngest pointed on the direction behind him and smiled at Sarah as he went.

She found him, his back still against the wall, facing his father's office's door. "Connor?"

He looked at her, it seemed as if he had been running his fingers through his now longer hair because it was messy.

"Katie says it's almost time for the cake and Jason is asking for you."

"You remember back at Peter's party?" He said. "When my friends kept talking about drinking?"

Sarah nodded. "My father, he, he goes in there and drinks." Connor said. "And I know where he keeps the key. The night of the Gala, I got, pretty drunk." He admitted to her, sadly."The whole thing with Ava had just happened and I was so mad, no I was pissed about everything that was going on, because I had messed up, in so many ways, especially with you." Sarah was about to speak but he turned to look at her and there was that look in his eyes, the glassy, broken shine to it . "So I was hung over the next day and that's why I was late to the Aquarium."

Sarah walked closer to him. "Why are you telling me this?" She didn't want to sound blunt but she couldn't help it.

"Because I want it so bad right now Sarah, I want to drink and just make it all go away." He admitted shamefully. "That's what I know helps because it's what my father does." He laughed bitterly. "Turns out, the man is pretty messed up too."

She was almost beside him. "You are not your father and you are not messed up." His girlfriend replied, placing a hand on his arm.

"I told her not to have the party but she insisted." Connor said, not looking at her, his voice was shaking like the night of the snowstorm. Sarah's hold on his arm tightened. "She said she was feeling fine, but the doctors…"

"Hey…"

Sarah moved to the side so she was facing him. "She keeps talking about dying…" He muttered, almost choking down the words. "And I'm pissed, I'm so mad because there's nothing I can do to fix it."

Sarah felt him tremble beside her but she wrapped her arms around his waist to keep him from faulting. Clear tears were in his eyes but he was trying to shake them away, his mother, everyone he cared about were in the next room. He had to be strong for them, for her.

"Connor, look at me." Sarah commanded, she wanted to cry but couldn't, because he needed her, so her voice was firm but gentle. "You are doing all you possibly can.."

"It's not enough." He said, pulling his face away when she placed a hand on his cheek. "She's still going to be gone before next Christmas."

"Kids?" Herman's voice made them freeze. "You alright?

They didn't respond but suddenly, Connor pulled away from her, cleaned his face with his sleeve and brushed Sarah's cheek. "I better go find Jason." He said with an apologetic look. She smiled, but he only gave her a light squeeze of the hand and walked away.

"Ah, don't take it personal kiddo." Hermann smiled. "It's hard on everyone."

"I just, I don't know how to help him." Sarah admitted.

"I know, but all we can do sometimes, is be there just like you are doing." Hermann told her as the two of them joined the others by the cake a moment later.

* * *

Henry was the somehow self appointed kid wrangler as he helped to herd the kids into various pictures and led them in a terribly enthusiastic but off key rendition of _happy birthday_ but Liza didn't seem to mind at all.

Natalie had gone pale at the sight of the controlled chaos, "I'm going to have to throw kids parties aren't I?"

"You're good for another few years." Henry reminded her, "And what are the two best uncles in the world for but to help out at those?"

As Elizabeth posed and smiled happily for various pictures, Henry couldn't miss the red in Connor's eyes and how Sarah had become his shadow, placing a hand on him everytime he started looking lost.

It was so easy to pretend and just forget, pretend that it was a normal party, not Elizabeth's last. He was glad Connor had found someone else to lean on.

Henry knew himself he was going to be a mess when Liza died, but Connor and Claire? He didn't know how they were going to cope.

After the cake was eaten, or rather it was demolished, and Elizabeth had opened a few presents, the adults decided to let the kids back outside to run off the sugar energy and Henry saw Connor lead Jason and Sarah upstairs, no doubt in search of his old Transformers collection.

Henry was busy ferrying dishes to the kitchen and making sure everyone was happy when a hand reached out and grabbed his forearm. "Henry, sit please, you've been running around all day."

Whatever protests he was going to make died on his lips when he realised it was Claire that had spoken _. How could he ever say no to Claire Rhodes?_

"That's my job." He retorted as he gave in and took a seat at the table where Claire and Natalie were talking to Sarah's Mom.

Connor had made sure everyone was under strict orders to take care of all the Reeses' today and to make sure that Susan and Jason especially would feel welcome.

"Not right now, you're a guest, you're here to enjoy the party." She told him.

But Henry noticed it, a slight smudge in the impeccable makeup she used like a mask. Claire was hurting today too.

He would do whatever she wanted to make the day easier on her.

"We were just telling Susan how great Sarah is..." She lifted her eyebrows in a way that made him think of the time she used to lead them through the lies they'd tell their parents so they wouldn't get in trouble for eating cookies before dinner as kids.

"Uh...yeah." But Henry didn't need to lie, Sarah was great. "I owe Sarah my life, seriously, how that girl got me through my Christmas exams I'll never know. And she's really brought everyone together hasn't she?"

"She has somehow wrangled Connor and Will into being friends and I now there's this mix of all of us being friends, sophomores and juniors and honestly better friends than I had in my own grade when they found out I got pregnant." Natalie chipped in.

"And she's really smart, didn't you say she's taking extra classes?" Claire asked as if she didn't know, sharing a secret smile with Henry.

Natalie did have to kick him under the table to stop him staring at that very smile, "Yeah I don't know how she does it." He said.

"We just love her, she's like part of the family now." Nat said.

"Well I have to say I'm glad Sarah's found her feet here." Susan said once she could get a word in edgeways.

* * *

Sarah walked with Connor and Jason to her boyfriend's room, blushing slightly at the memories of the few times they made it up there, alone, but right now she had to brush away the feeling because her brother was what they were focused on and she knew Connor welcomed the distraction too.

"I brought the box down." He told her as they entered the room. Back when he had been a kid, Natalie had confessed to her that Connor was quite the fanboy of many things, now his room resembled that of a teenage boy, with a few hockey posters and dark blue walls and a framed playbill collection of all the shows he'd gone to in his short life, including the Hamilton one from Sarah's birthday.

Sarah sat on the bed as she watched Jason eyes widened and focus intently on Connor telling him about the contents on the box.

She didn't know just how long they had been up there but were called down by Claire who said Susan was taking them home.

"Thank you for this, for everything today." Sarah said as they stood up and Jason helped Connor put the toys away in the box. "I don't think I've ever seen him this, uh integrated with people before."

"It's no problem, it was my pleasure. I'm glad he had a good time." Connor smiled, his hand making his way over to her hair to put back a stray curl. Sarah smiled too and he leaned to kiss her softly. "Thank you for being here."

"Connor, when you come over, can we work on the Decepticons puzzle? Sarah, Connor said I can take it for the next time he comes over, you have to soon, okay?" Jason said pulling them away from each other. "We should go, Mom won't be happy if you are in a boy's room Sarah, specially Connor's."

They didn't know whether to laugh or blush at the statement, but Jason sounded so serious that they just grabbed on the other's hand and walked down the stairs were the party had started to wind down. "I wondered where you two had run off to." Kim said with a wink, then she saw Jason who had gone to show his Mom the puzzle he'd just recieved. "So Sarah, your Mom said you and Jason should come over to the ranch once it's warmer, it will be fun."

Sarah thanked Kim and then said her goodbyes to everyone they encountered.

"Jason, Mom said you can come over and play soon." Lily was telling him and Susan who already stood by the door. "We can color some more."

Jason agreed, anything that came with coloring and cookies he could deal with. Olivia then said goodbye to him as well and Nate promised to look for his old toys for when he came over too, he was sure to have something Transformers related.

"So, now you've seen the whole squad in full force, I hope you are not frightened because we'd love for you and the kids to come for Sophie's christening." Cindy told Susan with a small hug.

"Oh, I don't know…" Susan admitted, and Sarah could almost see her Mom blushing when the Hermann's insisted.

She was thankful they were all trying to make her feel welcome as well.

"Happy Birthday again, I do hope we'll see each other soon, thank you for your hospitality." Susan was saying to Elizabeth who still was wearing her oxygen as Connor pushed her wheelchair near the door.

Jason eyed the older woman carefully but simply thanked her for the extra cake he had received under his mother's instructions. "I am so happy to have finally met you Jason." Jason gave a small nod.

"Sarah honey." She hugged her son's girlfriend as strongly as she could. "Thank you so much for coming."

"That is meant to help you breathe better." Jason commented glancing at the tank and wires. "My Grandpa had one too and it made him better." Elizabeth smiled at the little boy. "We need to go now, but I hope I can come over again. Katie said we could make cookies."

"Of course, we'd be happy to have you anytime Jason." Elizabeth told him with another smile, the boy seemed happy enough and followed his Mom to the door.

"Happy birthday, thank you for having us over." Sarah smiled, breaking the hug as Jason called for her.

Connor walked the Reese's over to the door where Earl had brought over the car for them, opened the door for Susan and then for Sarah and Jason. He still be driving them home even though Susan had insisted they could just get a car.

But Connor was a gentleman so after Sarah and Jason and their Mom had said their final goodbyes to the Mannings and even Katie and Kelly, he got into the car and drove them.

They got over there in half the time given that it was Saturday.

Susan got out of the car with Jason in tow, insisting they had to put the piece of cake in the refrigerator.

Susan glanced over at the two teenagers as she went. "You didn't have to drive us over."

"I said I would, it's no big deal." Connor assured her. "So, I know that your Mom and Jason had a good time, did you?" He didn't want to think about that moment at his father's office.

"Yes, I did." She told him, biting her lip in thought because she didn't want to bring him down or anything but felt like she had to ask. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay I guess, I know earlier wasn't your fault and I almost took it out on you. I'm sorry."

"Hey." She turned to grab his hand as she had now moved into the passenger's seat beside him. "I'm here, always and I love you."

"I love you, so much Sarah, you have no idea." He smiled, leaning to kiss her on the lips, giving her an actually very passionate kiss, the first one he'd been able to almost all evening. "Thank you."

"Say Happy Birthday to your Mom, again for me tomorrow?"

On her actual birthday which Connor knew she would of course remember.

"Of course," He said, kissing her again more softly. Sarah responded and then pulled back getting out and waving to him by the driveway as he pulled away.

Sarah turned back and into the house where her Mom was in the kitchen. "So, today went well." She said as soon as Sarah was by the fridge grabbing on a juicebox.

"Yes." Sarah agreed. "Jason seemed okay with it all."

"Thanks to Connor of course." Susan put in, joining Sarah at the small kitchen table. "And all of his friends, they were nothing but kind to us all evening. It seems like it wasn't the worst idea having to move to Chicago, was it?"

Sarah smiled. "No."

"But it was a good thing Jason didn't see what happened to Connor's Mom, I can't even imagine what that's like, I mean you've told me but to actually see it…" Susan commented. "Made me think of your Grandpa all over again, when he got sick." Her mother turned her face away for a moment and then glanced at Sarah.

"Yeah, it's hard. Connor told me the doctors had insisted she'd go back to the hospital but she didn't want to."

"It's understandable, I would think she'd want to spend her time with her children, not in some hospital bed." Susan sighed standing up. "Would you mind checking on your brother, I need to go make some calls?"

"Yeah, of course." Sarah said, standing up too. "I love you Mom thanks for agreeing to come with us."

"Of course honey." Susan called. "I love you too."

And that was the end of the conversation which ended on a good note.

* * *

When Connor made it back home, everyone had seemed to be gone, except for Hermann, Cindy and the kids who were almost at the door. "Oh, Connor honey we thought we were going to miss you." His godmother said with a smile. "Your Mom is upstairs, she was a little tired from all of the excitement."

Connor then helped her with getting baby Sophie into the car, he figured he was going to need a little more practice for when Natalie's baby arrived.

He saw Chris come out of the house a moment later with Henry in tow. "You alright kid?"

Connor shrugged and Hermann patted his cheek tenderly, pulling him into a hug. "You know you can call anytime and we can talk about it? You are not alone? Same goes for that sister of yours."

"I know." Connor offered him a half smile into the hug as Chris ruffled his hair tenderly.

"I love you so much kiddo, don't forget that, alright?" The boy nodded as Claire joined them in saying goodbye a moment later, waving at the rest of the Hermann clan as they got in the car. Sharing a special knowing look with Henry.

He walked back with Claire. "You two look like you could use a glass of milk and some left over cake." Katie commented as soon as they closed the door behind them. Both teenagers laughed softly but moved to the kitchen where Rudy was. They shared a few moments with them and then both headed back upstairs. "Hey, Connor?" Claire said by her door. "You know you can talk to me too, right?"

"Yeah, I know." He smiled. "Same here."

And with that, they both took refuge in their own rooms. Connor collapsing on his bed and getting a hold of his phone to look at the few pictures they'd taken that evening, there was one of him with his Mom from that morning which made him pause as he felt the tears prickle in his eyes. He glanced back at the one resting on his nightstand as he sighed, finally breaking down to cry.

* * *

 **Aww that was so lovely and heartbreaking to write. What did you guys think?**


	40. Chapter 40

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 40**

Natalie was laughing over something April had said when she nearly walked into Jeff that Monday morning. She'd remember the date for the rest of her life.

"Hey Natalie." He said, awkwardly trying to both hug her and not touch her at the same time.

They were lost.

"Hi Jeff." She said, shuffling her feet.

"Oh hey, so I was reading this book about pregnancy and it said it would be good for the baby to you know, get used to my voice? Do you think I could come over after school?" He asked.

Natalie couldn't believe it, just a few months ago all she wanted was Jeff to call to her house. But look where that had gotten them, still, no matter what anyone said, she had been right all along. He may have acted like a jerk and had a bad crowd of friends but she had seen the secret nice guy in him from the start.

And he had really cleaned up his act, whether from his own decision or his parents' pressure she wasn't sure, but she was just glad.

He had pulled his grades up, and while he still hard at hockey, he had stopped picking fights with everyone. And he was even lining up a job for the summer so he could help out with the baby.

"I'll catch you later." April ducked out of the conversation.

"Oh...sure?" She answered.

"Okay." He nodded then he broke into an unsure smile, "Since when have we ever been this awkward Nat?"

"Pretty sure this one has something to do with it." She said wistfully, rubbing her bump.

"Yeah." He nodded.

"I really did like you Nat, no matter the way I acted."

"I know. I loved you Jeff." She said.

It was too anticlimactic for Natalie. After more than a year of on again off again relationship with the boy standing in front of her, she had worshipped the ground he had walked on, she had expected them to either end in up together forever or blow up in pieces.

Not standing in a school hallway, deciding that their feelings weren't _that_ strong after all.

"I want to be there for the baby." He said earnestly."Been working on AA too. It's part of the steps to make amends."

"I know." She nodded.

"But…"

"But I just don't think we should do this anymore." She agreed, beckoning between them.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too." She bit her lip.

She knew the end of them had been coming but it still hurt like a dull aching headache.

"I know I never acted like much of anything before...but you know my parents are divorced...I don't want it to be like that for our baby. I'm...I'm going to be there, for you and him."

"I really appreciate that Jeff." She said, tears swimming in her eyes.

She loved the baby, but she _hated_ this situation.

"I'll, eh, I'll catch up with you later?" He asked.

She just nodded, blaming her sniffling on her hormones.

"Hey...Nat, you okay?" Will approached her in the hallway as Jeff walked away.

"Yeah." She whined but it sounded more like a _no_. She watched the boy she had loved so intensely walk away as she played with the leather bracelet on her wrist.

She had never given him it.

She'd find someone worth it one day.

Connor walked to lunch alone that Monday afternoon, Sarah was working with her friends on a test they had later that day. That's when he noticed Natalie, Will and Henry sitting by a table. "Hey guys."

Natalie seemed like she had been crying. "It's over with Jeff." Henry explained, Connor glanced at the girl and then instantly at Will.

"I'm sorry. Are you okay?" He asked his best friend.

"No, but I will be." She admitted to him, Will looked at her as she glanced over at all three boys. "I mean, I have to face the fact that Jeff is always going to be a part of my life because he's the baby's father but it doesn't make it easier." Will then spotted Nina and she beckoned him over. "It's okay. I'm fine Will."

He gave her a small smile. "Are you sure?"

"Yep. We can, uh, talk later?" Will nodded and then shot the two other boys a glance.

"Oh, hi guys." April greeted them. "Can I steal Nat for a sec?"

"I'll see you?" She offered her two best friends and smiled as she got up from her seat and followed April over.

"Man, did you see the look on Will's face?" Henry let out. "Talk about torn."

Connor nodded, but that was their entire conversation. Both of them knew of the redhead's feelings but didn't go into much detail about them, it wasn't their place to, they had to be there for Natalie.

"How did your Mom spend yesterday?"

"We stayed home. Dad showed up and she seemed happy."

"But.."

"She could barely get out of bed." Connor admitted bitterly.

"I'm sorry man." Henry said, wrapping his head around on how to change the subject. "Hey, listen, remember that thing we had said I had to do?"

Connor stared at him. "It's done." With everything going on, this was something he could look forward to, after all, they had been secretly planning it for weeks.

* * *

Sarah was with Jay and the girls in the far side of the library, munching on some snacks and wrapping their heads around their history quiz when Ava Bekker waltzed in, right into their table, she almost seemed shy about it but determined.

"Excuse us." Emily shot. "We're studying, some of us can't pay our way through some fancy college."

Sarah fought the urge to look at Ava's reaction, Emily didn't know what had happened to the other girl, only she and Connor did.

"I need to talk to you."

"No you don't." Jay added in defensively. "Unless you are here to apologize, you have nothing to say to Sarah."

"Please." Ava pleaded. They all looked at each other. They had never heard Ava Bekker use that word in nothing else than mockery.

"It's alright guys." Sarah said, getting out of her seat beside Emily and walking a little away. She could see her friend's stare pierce into her stance.

"Listen." Ava said to her, mustering all her might to not sound in her usually bitter tone. "I need to talk to you and Connor."

"Why?" Sarah inquired, harsher than she had intended. "Why should we even talk to you after what you did?"

"Alright, I deserve that…"

Sarah felt a sudden boldness take over her. as she sighed and faced the other girl. "You know? The bullying I could take, but you going after Connor, who was your friend? That is just not right…"

"Sarah?" Her boyfriend's voice made both girls turn around and Connor was barely able to register that it was Ava who stood beside her. "What's going on?"

"We need to talk." Ava told him as Connor moved beside Sarah instinvely.

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Connor…" Sarah warned, her hand moving to his.

"I know you know what happened with my father." Ava almost hissed at him. "He said that Mr. Mills had come and talked to him." She said. "So, I did some digging...Peter doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut."

Connor and Sarah both blinked as Ava looked back on Jay and the girls who had completely forgotten about the test.

Gossip was better than studying and Gaffney never lacked of it.

"What do you want Ava?"

"To talk, just that, five minutes after school and then you both can forget about it if you want." She offered. "Please Connor…"

He didn't reply but Sarah spoke instead. "I need to get back to my studying, we'll see you later?" She offered Ava and then sent a glance her boyfriend's way as Ava nodded and walked away.

"Why are you agreeing to talk to her?" Connor asked.

Sarah shrugged. "Because I feel like I need to and in someway, so do you."

"Huh?" Connor inquired. "No I don't…"

"She was a part of your life Connor, a big part…"

"That I don't care about anymore, I have you." He argued. Glancing around when he noticed he had raised his voice and people were staring.

"I know, but the thing is.." Sarah said biting her lip. "I've talked it over in my sessions with Mr. Charles, we need closure."Connor didn't answer, he was starting to get a headache. Sarah then took his hand in hers again and pulled him a little further to the side. "Connor, listen to me, as much as I don't like the idea of having to talk to her, that is the thing with bullies, if we don't break the cycle, it will continue to happen." She said to him. "I'm willing to put it behind me if you are."

"Sarah, you don't know Ava like I do…" He added.

"No, maybe not, but, you know what I do know?"

"What?"

"About us. Our relationship." Connor was in awe, she was 15 years old and had just seemingly said they needed closure so they could move forward. "And that's what I care about. Us, not Ava."

"You've been spending way too much time with Mr. Charles." Connor sighed.

"But you know I'm right?" She retorted glancing at him. "Please, for me?"

Connor wasn't sure he would be able to though, but he allowed Sarah to take the lead, maybe it was part of it all, the fact that she had decided to talk to her bully, to let her know she wasn't going to win, Sarah was smart. He just had to trust her, but he couldn't say that he was that forgiving. "Fine, for you."

"Thank you." Sarah smiled. "I'll see you later? I should really get back." She said, glancing back at her friends, who had frozen on the spot but rambled on, pretending to study.

Connor tried to pull back his thoughts and focus on her. "Right, I just, I brought you some lunch, I thought you would work better on a full stomach." He said with a smile handing her a wrapped sandwich and a juicebox

"You're too sweet." She said, kissing his cheek but Connor instead pulled her closer and kissed her lips. "Connor?"

"Yeah?" He said into her lips a moment later.

"People are staring…" She said, blushing. Connor grinned, brushed her cheek with his thumb and walked away.

"What. Just. Happened?" Emily asked once she was back at her table. Sarah didn't look at her. She just wanted to get study done but she knew they wouldn't let it go, so she told them just as much as she could about Ava. "Got what she deserved, that's all I have to say."

"Emily…" Monique chided.

"Oh, yeah but she did…" Jay added. Sarah smiled sadly, she loved her friends for caring so much but she knew Connor wouldn't let it go that easily either.

The end of school came quicker than Sarah was expecting. Connor was practically glued to her side as they got their things and made their way to the front doors.

"I'm just saying, I think you should record the conversation…" Jay argued as he caught up with them. "That way you have some kind of evidence if she ever tries anything else."

"I'm not part of the FBI Jay…" Sarah clarified, "But thanks. I don't think she'll be doing any accusing anymore."

"You watch too many cop shows Dude." Will shook his head at his brother's words, and managed to pull him away from the couple.

"We'll see you?" Jay said more to Sarah than to Connor as they both made their way to the bus, Jason thankfully had had a half day and James had picked him up earlier so Connor would be driving Sarah home.

"Sarah, we don't have to do this." Connor said to her, he sounded almost anxious but she squeezed his hand and sighed as they both scanned for Ava but kept walking to Connor's car, if Ava was anything like Connor knew she would find them.

She did, just as they crossed the corner to the parking lot.

"We're here. What do you want Ava?" Connor said, harshly.

"I know both of you know what happened with, my father." Ava said brushing off his tone.

"And this is you, apologizing?" Connor shot. Ava looked at him. "I knew this was a bad idea, come on, let's go."

"Alright, fine, you want me to say that I'm sorry. I am." Ava said as Connor grabbed Sarah's hand but she kept him on the spot. "I was, hurt, it's like she showed up and you acted like I didn't exist."

Sarah froze, trying to remind herself this was her doing what Mr. Charles had advised her to.

"You told the entire school Natalie was pregnant Ava, you hurt my best friend, did you think we could just be back to being friends? And then you dared to hurt me and Sarah when we hadn't done anything to you." Connor retorted, trying to keep his temper in check.

"I didn't…" Ava began to argue. "Fine, I did, but people were going to find out anyway." She then turned to Sarah. "And her, well why did you tell her about my problems? What? It was like some kind of revenge?"

Connor sighed, he was starting to get a headache again. "Because it was Sarah who wanted to help you." He told her, keeping his temper in check.

Ava froze. "You what?"

* * *

Once Ava was gone, Sarah didn't move from where they stood. "Are you okay?" She asked Connor. That conversation hadn't gone like they both had imagined.

"I'm not even sure what that was." He admitted to her. "Are you?"

"I'm fine." She said, almost like she used to tell him when they had first met, but Sarah didn't neither wanted to push the conversation further.

They got in the car and drove, Sarah wouldn't look at Connor and he didn't reach for her either.

Ava had been her bully, but she had been something more to Connor and he surely didn't know how to process her words. _Was he really a prisoner of the path his father had laid out for him?_

He might have fallen for Sarah but she wasn't stupid, he couldn't just let go of who he was, no matter how hard he tried, not completely, she had seen him in both of his lives play out. It was like he could read her mind because he was the first to speak. "She's right." Connor told her as they parked just by the corner of her street. "Ava, I can't just ignore who I am, no matter how much you or Mom try to prove me otherwise."

"I know." Sarah said, turning to face him. "But you are so much more than just your last name Connor, you can turn things around."

"How?" Connor asked, frustrated. "I don't even know what's going to happen in the next few months Sarah, how can I know how to turn things around if I don't even know where I'm going to end up?"

She wanted to reply but couldn't, not right away anyway, she knew they were just kids and no matter how gathered she might seem at 15, Sarah was just starting to understand what growing up meant.

"I don't really know." She admitted to him, looking down to her hands in the passenger's seat.

Connor huffed. "Growing up sucks."

"It does," Sarah agreed. "But you know what?" He glanced over at her. "I'm glad it's you I have to next to me to figure it out."

Connor smiled, but barely. "Me too." He leaned to kiss her deeply and Sarah allowed him to, it was just them, trying to get lost in each other and their emotions, without the idea of Ava looming over their relationship or with Elizabeth's illness or Natalie or having to grow up. That could wait a little longer, because the truth was, that growing up was terrifying and it did sort of sucked.

* * *

"So, she didn't even say she was sorry?"

"Sort of, but she also admitted to be in love with me in front of Sarah." Connor said to Natalie as they drove together to her house that afternoon. He and Henry had come up with a plan to have April invite Nat after school so they could get everything ready and since she practically lived next door to Sarah, Connor had offered to drive her back home.

It was a longshot that she wouldn't be suspicious they were up to something but if she was, she didn't show it.

"I always said she was crazy." Natalie commented.

"I just can't believe I liked her." Connor let out bitterly. "Or that Sarah was still keen on helping her."

Natalie smiled. "That's what makes them different, Sarah will always care for others, no matter how awful they are."

"Yeah, it's one thing I love about her, but it also gives me headache once in a while." Connor admitted.

Natalie laughed. "Because you are both the same, you care too much."

"Maybe, but I just hope it just means we can move on, get past it." Connor said, rolling his eyes a little and parking in front of Natalie's front door.

He got out the car and helped her, because she was now almost seven months pregnant.

"You will." Natalie said as they walked in. "You are Rheese."

"Again with that thing?" Connor mused.

"Yes, you two are meant to be, that's what it means," Natalie said, Connor couldn't believe she was like this after having broken up with Jeff just a few hours earlier but he let it be because it had seemed to keep her mind occupied as well. "Jeff and I didn't have a ship name made just for us, so it just meant we were doomed from the start." She added.

"Nat.."

"He asked me if he could come over today but I told him I needed some time." Natalie admitted. "I just don't know how much."

Connor smiled, grateful it was all going according to plan even though Henry was close to sheer panic. "You can take as much time as you need, he doesn't need to pressure you."

 _Ah, always the protector,_

"He's not, I'm the one who doesn't know if I want to allow him back into my life, just yet." They had reached the living room.

There was no one home except for them apparently. "Connor.."

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" She pierced him with the eye.

"Ah, I don't know what you are talking about…"

"Of course you don't…" She said. "Lee Henry, I know you are here somewhere!"

There was a loud thud upstairs and Connor sighed. "Connor, what…"

"Upstairs, come on." He said, taking her hand and helping her carefully. "You need to close your eyes though."

"If I fall, I'm going to kill you both." Natalie glared at him.

"I won't let that happen, close your eyes Nat." She huffed but did as she was told, standing in front of her door when they reached the top. She heard it being pushed open and Connor leading her inside, his hand holding on to hers and the other one keeping her balanced.

"What did you two do?"

"You'll see…" Connor said, grinning.

"You haven't tried to redesign my room or something, remember when you two tried to help me paint before and we had to get new carpets?" She asked, her eyes still closed with a smirk on her face.

"I said I was sorry!" Henry laughed, "You'll never let me live that down will you?"

"Nope." Natalie smiled.

"No painting, but we do have a surprise, open your eyes." Connor told her.

That look of surprise and awe on her face was worth hours of arguing over instructions and lists of what they should buy. Henry beamed and Connor was pretty sure he was grinning from ear to ear when Natalie stepped forward and touched the crib they had bought and put together, which was now set up in the space she had cleared for the baby.

"You guys…." She whispered, running a hand along the wood. Natalie had been slightly overwhelmed about setting up for the baby, the timing of it, how she was going to afford it, how not to put her parents to too much expense and had ended up crying in the kitchen in Molly's one evening at how she couldn't even make the simplest decision like picking a crib. And she had nobody to turn to, she had dreamed of creating a nursery with a husband in their own house when she was older, not with a boyfriend she couldn't even talk to in her childhood bedroom.

Both boys tried to comfort her as much as they could, but as soon as she was gone it was decided. Jeff or not, they were going to be a lot more involved in this pregnancy and the baby's life from there on out, starting with helping Natalie prepare without feeling guilty about her parent's money or feeling awkward over trying to ask Jeff to go shopping with her.

So they spent time trolling through baby shop websites and asking dozens of shop assistants which crib was the best. They got some weird looks, two teenage guys shopping for a baby but they didn't care.

They settled on one that looked more homemade than the rest, one that turned out to have far too many instructions and nearly had Connor and Henry going to war with a screwdriver but the end result was worth it.

"You got it for me?" She asked, tears brimming in her eyes.

"Yeah, it's a good start right?" Henry asked.

She didn't answer, she just hugged the two ferociously.

"And Dad said he'd help put up shelves, you know for books and pictures and things." Henry explained.

"Yeah and Mom wants to buy one of those baby mobile things to hang over the crib." Connor added.

"And I know you were worrying over trying to paint the walls again but I've wrangled all the kids into an afternoon of drawing pictures for the baby to hang up on the walls, make it look nice." Henry continued.

Natalie burst into tears but laughed at the panicked look on both boy's faces, "They're not sad tears, I'm so happy, you're the best."

"Well it's just to remind you, we're here for you Nat." Connor said, taking a seat on one side of her.

"Always will be." Henry agreed, wrapping an arm around her from the other side.

* * *

"She said what? Seriously!" Emily exclaimed.

"Yeah, and then told him they were meant to be together but I got in the way." Sarah lamented, recalling the conversation with Ava earlier.

"Wow. Ouch." Monique sympathised as they sat around Sarah's kitchen table, homework forgotten about.

"I mean I guess I get it, they grew up together, their parents wanted them together, but I don't know…"

"Okay, but she did not need to tell you." Emily clarified. "And she should have apologised properly."

"I wonder what that's like, to grow up having a lifetime crush on someone?" Monique pondered aloud.

"Like Will and Natalie?" Emily mused.

"Yeah imagine being so sure you'd end up with someone and it not end up happening."

"Like Henry with Claire." Emily nodded.

Sarah choked in her drink, "Wait, what?" She asked between coughing.

"He's totally into her? You have to have noticed? The boy turns to mush every time she's in the room." Emily pointed out.

"It still doesn't excuse Ava's behaviour though." Monique said.

"Well I thought about it now and again…" Sarah admitted, reverting back to Henry.

"Oh so it's like a secret? That must be weird for him, having Connor as his best friend and crushing on Claire." Emily said, doodling on her page.

"Yeah I don't like to say anything, I don't think anyone else knows...and it's not my secret to tell Connor anyway. I don't want to put Henry in a position he doesn't want to be in."

"Speaking of lover boy, where is the other half of Rheese this evening?" Emily asked just as the door opened and Susan and Jason came in.

"I'm home Sarah." He declared before freezing in front of the two girls.

"So I see, did you have a good time at Dad's?"

He nodded mutely.

"Hey Jason, I miss seeing you on the bus to school." Emily smiled at him.

"My Dad likes to drive me but I like the bus."

"Yeah Jay likes it when you ride with him to school." Emily said.

"You're friends with Jay too?" Jason asked.

"Yeah." Emily nodded.

"Been for a long time." Monique added.

"Oh...well if you're friends with Sarah and Jay then...okay you can come to my birthday party when it's my birthday. Danny from school is coming too."

"Oh cool, your party? I'd love to go."

"Yeah Mom said we can have cake like Connor's Mom had." Jason said. "And Lily can come too." He continued, "Mom, I'm hungry." He said as if it was a normal evening.

As if he hadn't just started inviting people to spend time with him in a group.

Sarah was beyond delighted. And her Mom had even considered calling Kim and seeing if Jason like the idea of visiting the horses. Things were taking a better turn for her little brother.

"Your brother is so cute." Monique said with a smile. "When is his birthday?"

"June but he's already planning it with his Dad. It's kind of a big deal."

"Aww." Emily smiled. "That is amazing."

"Yeah, James seems to be really trying." Sarah admitted.

* * *

After her friends were gone and she had said goodnight to her Mom and Jason, she closed her bedroom door and called Connor on FaceTime.

"Hey. How was Natalie's? Was she surprised?"

"Yeah. She was." Connor smiled into the phone. "It also made it more real for her I guess but she knows she doesn't have to do it alone."

Sarah beamed. "You're a good friend Connor."

"Hey, so I was thinking." Connor said after a moment. "We could go to that science convention you wanted to on Thursday? Your Mom will be okay with it, right?"

Sarah sighed. "We don't have to…"

"You go to all my games." He said sweetly. "And I don't mind, I might actually get to learn something."

"If you are sure…" she replied, failing to hide the excitement in her voice. "I'd love to."

"It's a date then." He said. "Oh and Sarah?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you. You know that whatever Ava said, that's so not the case at all, right?"

"I know." She replied, trying to sound convinced. "I love you too."

"Good." He smiled. "I so want to kiss you right now." Connor added making her blush slightly,

He loved to have that effect on her. They said their goodbyes finally after Sarah had told him about Jason's early party planning and their pending get together and Sarah cuddled into bed, exhausted from the long day and in with expectation of what the morning would bring.

* * *

 **So... Much... Going...On... in this chapter! What did you guys think?**


	41. Chapter 41

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 41**

Thursday rolled by in a blur for both Sarah and Connor, the conference wasn't really a date per se but it meant they could be alone, without bumping into people who actually knew them.

That was until Sarah spotted the parked school buses by the parking lot entrance.

She froze. "Sarah?" Connor stopped beside her. "What's wrong?"

"Ah, nothing." She said, Connor followed her stare though. "Just, I think people from my old school might be here." She didn't want to admit Joey might be too. Her supposed ex boyfriend or such.

"From Michigan?"

"Well this science convention is a big deal." She said.

"Let's just go inside, I'm sure the place is big enough." Connor said, grabbing her hand and leading her to the main entrance door.

They were met by a long line, it was just after school but Sarah figured most people were on their way out. Or so she hoped.

They were in line, Sarah was leaned into Connor as it moved, he was taller, and his jacket was comfortable for her to mold into it. He smiled into her hair and wrapped his arms around her.

"Sarah Reese?" A voice said suddenly. "What are the chances.."

Mrs. Lindell, one of her old teachers was making her way over to her from the other side of the line.

Sarah pulled away from Connor instantly and into an upright position. "I thought that was you."

"Mrs. Lindell." Sarah spoke politely. "How are you?"

"I'm good honey, and you? Never staying away from learning huh? That's good." Connor couldn't help but feel stared at by the woman. "How is school?"

"Ah, good, Chicago isn't so bad after all." Sarah admitted and couldn't help but grin slightly when she shot her boyfriend a small smile.

The teacher still sent him a weary look. "Well, we're still missing a couple exhibits, you should join our tour. You and _your friend_." she said as if his mere presence left a bad taste in her mouth.

"This is my boyfriend actually Mrs. Lindell. Connor, Mrs Lindell teaches science back in Michigan."

"Nice to meet you." Connor tried in his best polite manner.

"Your boyfriend?" She eyed Connor suspiciously again. "Nice to meet you, so are you joining us? Sarah honey, it will be good for your curriculum."

Sarah smiled and said they wouldn't be there long but the teacher insisted and she gave in just so that she would go away.

Connor huffed once the older woman was gone. "What? I don't look smart enough or something?"

Sarah smiled. "You are one of the smartest people I know, ignore her." It was adorable he got so riled up about it but she didn't dare to admit it to him. She grabbed his hand and pulled him further along the line.

Connor smiled, but was still a little mad, that woman had judged him just like most people in his life had, by appearances.

They finally entered the place and it was like Connor had stepped into an unknown dimension or something, not that he hadn't taken school field trips before but this was a little too much, still Sarah seemed to be in her element and he was keen to enjoy it too.

Yet, they ran into Sarah's old teacher again, "Come over honey, everyone is happy to see you, I'm surprised Joey didn't tell you we were coming."

 _Joey was there?_

Connor felt his jaw tightened, "Oh there he is! Joey, guess who's here?"

The boy turned to her and he smiled, like nothing had happened. "Oh hey Sarah."

Apparently, he hadn't realized Connor was beside her because he took a little step back when he saw him.

"Would you and your friend like to join us on the next conference Sarah?" Mrs. Lindell asked. "We can save you a couple of seats?"

"That'd be fine." Connor spoke before Sarah could respond. "If you want to."

"Oh, okay." She replied to her glancing at Connor, Joey still stood there but hadn't moved, under Connor's glare. The teacher smiled and walked away.

"I don't think we've met, I'm Connor Rhodes, Sarah's boyfriend." Connor said to Joey, stretching his hand out.

"Ah, Joey. Thomas." The other boy replied taking Connor's hand and shaking it. Sarah watched the whole interaction with a held breath. "Sarah and I, we go way back…"

"So, I've heard." Connor said, unimpressed.

"Really? I haven't heard anything about you from Sarah." Joey retorted. Sarah's eyes shot between both boys.

"Connor, let's just go find our seats, come on." Connor felt her hand in his. "I'm sure Joey is sitting with his friends anyway."

"With my girlfriend, actually, remember I told you?" Joey piped up. "She's going to Harvard next year."

Connor stared at him, again, he didn't seem impressed. Joey turned back as someone called for him. "Anyway, I'll see you two in there, hope you like the topic, it has to do with last year's science project, remember, about molecular progression? We finished in first place?"

"I remember Joey." Sarah replied.

"Right, are you into science too?" He asked Connor, almost mockingly. "You don't look like you are."

"I'm sure I can follow." Connor said, trying to control his temper.

Joey nodded and then turned back. "See you in there then."

Sarah felt like the air had become dense. "We don't have to go in, we can just go do something else?"

"No, I'm suddenly interested in molecular progression." Connor replied with a smile, following Joey's stance. Sarah could sense the jealousy in his voice, she didn't know whether to feel flattered or just worried of what he might do, back when he was still just her friend and Jason had mentioned him once or twice, he hadn't seemed to react but when they began dating, it seemed he was a little more hesitant to hear from Sarah's ex.

"Connor, we don't have to.."

"It's fine Sarah, really, this is what we came here for, right? It doesn't matter we ran into your ex boyfriend."

"But…"

"It's fine." He smiled, offering her his hand. "Really." She nodded, allowing him to lead her into the room and following the instructions Mrs. Lindell gave them to take their seats. It was mostly like in the movies, a half a minute video and then the man who had gone to speak began his lecture. Sarah cuddled into Connor as she spotted Joey and his girlfriend in the same row. She tried to focus on what was being said, even taking out her phone to take notes, just as she did in school and Connor loved just how dedicated she was to it, like most things in her life.

And it wasn't like he didn't like science, he liked school and even enjoyed class, but nothing like the way Sarah did.

Once it was over, he waited for Sarah to finish her notes and offered to buy her something to eat, he'd have to take her home soon anyway as the conference had lasted longer, she agreed of course and both of them made their way out, avoiding Sarah's old teacher.

"Oh, sorry." A voice said as Sarah, took a few steps down and almost fell over, looking up to find none other than Zoe Kane staring at her, she was nothing like her, blonde, cute and tall, as tall as Joey but not as much as Connor, it was like their roles were reversed.

"Hi Zoe." Sarah said with a shrug as Connor held her in place so she wouldn't fall backwards.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you."

"It's fine." Sarah said. "I wasn't looking where I was going anyway." Joey then appeared beside Zoe,

"Everything okay?" Joey asked. "Oh, Zo, you remember Sarah Reese, and this is...Craig isn't it?."

"It's Connor actually." Connor gritted out with a tense fake smile.

"Nice to meet you." Zoe said to Connor. "And of course I remember Sarah, are you kidding? You tutored me a couple times, I don't know what I would have done without you."

Sarah smiled. She could hardly believe someone like Zoe remembered that.

* * *

And it was even harder to believe she had found herself in the Forum's cafeteria with her boyfriend, Joey and Zoe Kane of all people getting a snack. Joey and Connor stood up to get the food as Sarah and Zoe fell into an uncomfortable silence.

"So, you and Connor, how long have you been going out?"

"About four months." Sarah replied.

"Oh, nice, Joey and I for almost 8. Time flies by huh?"

"Yeah, I guess." She smiled, glancing back at the boys, they didn't seem to be talking but Sarah prayed Joey wouldn't say anything improper to set Connor off.

"We're actually here all weekend, do you want to, maybe do something together? I know you and I didn't get along much but you were Joey's friend." Zoe spoke catching her attention again.

Sarah bit her lip and was about to reply when Joey and Connor came back.

"Oh, I was just saying to Sarah that maybe we could go out tomorrow? We're leaving on Sunday."

Connor didn't look at Sarah but instead at Joey.

"Uh, sure I don't see why not." Joey said. "If Sarah's okay with it so am I."

"Actually, we have your game tomorrow.." she said to Connor, trying to get out of having to hang out with them, to her disappointment, . Zoe's eyes lit up.

"Oh, what do you play?"

"Hockey." Connor said grinning. "I'm sure it's not something you would be interested in, is it?"

Joey nodded. "I think it's a little violent, I'd never play it. What's it good about breaking your bones?"

"Connor is amazing actually." Sarah found herself saying. "The whole team is."

"See Joey? I've never been to a game before, we have to go!"

Joey almost glared at Sarah. "Whatever you want Honey."

"Oh I can't wait now!" Zoe smiled.

They ate their food with stilted conversation between each other. What with Joey and Connor glaring at each other every chance they got and Sarah trying not to mention her and Joey's past relationship when talking to Zoe. A little while later, she was just glad when the two needed to get back to where their classmates were.

Sarah gave them the details for the game the next day and they sent them on their way.

"So _that_ 's Joey, huh?" Connor asked as they stood on the sidewalk, watching them disappear into the crowd.

"Yeah…" Sarah said, now wondering if she could still cuddle into his side because he looked way too tense. For a convention she had been looking forward to, it had been a tiring experience.

"And he's coming to my hockey game?" He asked as if he wasn't quite sure how it had happened.

"Apparently."

"Huh. Okay then. I should get you home." He said, turning to look at her.

"Connor, I'm sorry!" She shot.

"Sarah, you don't have to be sorry...I mean he's your friend right?" He asked as if there was a lump in his throat.

"Of course that's all. I never knew what we were. But we're nothing less than nothing now." She told him as they started walking. She reached for his hand. "Hey…"

Connor huffed and squeezed her hand, "Okay so I maybe don't like the guy that much." He admitted.

"He wasn't nice, that wasn't fair."

"I just hate that he knows you, before I did."

"That doesn't matter. I _know_ you and I never really knew him." She tried to clarify.

"And I'm smart." He pointed out. "Just for the record."

She bit back a smile at the whine in his voice. "I know you are."

"I hate being jealous." He stated.

She was surprised he had admitted it that easily.

"You have nothing to be jealous about." She told him, stopping him from walking and putting both hands on his face.

"I know." He admitted, pulling her in for a kiss. "But it doesn't mean I like the guy." He said after they pulled apart.

"And that's totally okay." She said, smiling.

"I love you" He said as if to remind her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

"I love you too."

* * *

Sarah had to get the bus to the rink with Emily after Connor had to cancel giving her a ride. Henry had called him in a panic because Jay was freaking out about the game and Will and Herrmann needed as many people as possible to help him get his head on straight.

"Poor Jay, it must be really tough when he wants to be so good and worries about it so much, I swear he never sleeps the night before the game, he keeps me up half the night talking." Emily yawned, leaning her head against the glass.

"But he is really good." Sarah argued.

"We all know that, but he feels like he has a point to prove with his Dad and everything." Emily sighed.

"Oh...Joey and Zoe have just arrived." Sarah told her friend after looking at the new message on her phone.

"Yeah, so tell me again why your ex boyfriend and his girlfriend are coming to your boyfriend's hockey game?" She asked as the bus came to a stop.

"I don't even know. And Joey was...Joey, we didn't even date, not really." Sarah said as they climbed off.

Emily sniffed, "Well I don't like him."

"That is a popular opinion." Sarah mused with a slight grin before spotting the couple and Zoe waving over like they were long lost friends.

"Hi." Sarah tried to smile, "Eh, this is my friend Emily. Emily this is...Joey and Zoe from my old school."

Emily smiled and waved at Zoe but Sarah had to stop herself from laughing at Emily's look of utter disdain when she glanced towards Joey.

"I'm so excited for my first hockey match." Zoe said.

"And the team is so great, you'll enjoy it." Emily said as Sarah glanced at her phone and saw that Connor had sent her a message that they had gotten to the changing rooms and he'd see her after the game.

"Hey Emily, hey Reese." Will said as he threw his bag around his shoulder passing them by but did a double take. "Henry should be in there with Jay? Oh hey, who's this?" He asked.

"Will, this is Joey from my old school and Zoe." Sarah grimaced.

"Oh." Will threw his head back in understanding. " _Joey_ huh?"

"Yeah they're here for the game. You should get going, Connor's in the changing room too." Sarah said.

"You know, you and Connor? _Great_ couple. Don't you say?" He asked Joey with a smile that was somehow threatening and friendly. "Sarah's a great catch."

"The best." Emily agreed, not taking her eyes off Joey.

"Well I better get going. See you after the game." He smiled at the three girls before stepping away in the direction of the changing rooms.

Even Emily had to hold back a giggle when Will knocked his shoulder into Joey's _hard_ as he passed by, "Oh I slipped, sorry. See you."

"We should get inside." Sarah said, trying to cover up her friend's sudden over protectiveness, and ushered the group into the rink. Her heart swelled with gratitude though, she could take care of herself but she had always wanted an older brother. Apparently she had found one in Will Halstead.

The usual crowd gathered for the game, the Herrmann's, Claire, half the school. Sarah shrugged off her jacket just to show off the jersey she was wearing, Connor's with his number, Natalie sat beside them, along with Monique, Gabby, April and Ethan.

Joey looked slightly intimidated by the sheer number of people that Sarah was friends with.

It felt kind of good. To go from the girl who hung on his every word, hoping for friendships to being the girl in a happy relationship with a great group of friends.

Sarah politely tried to explain the rules to Zoe and pointed out the players on the team while they warmed up.

"That's Will and Jay, they're brothers. That's Henry, his family owns this amazing diner. That's Antonio, Gabby's brother and captain. That's Connor right there."

"Oh, hey you're wearing his number." Zoe commented.

"Yeah it's a thing the team does." Sarah said, trying to downplay it but glowing with pride. Claire came over and was Sarah's saviour. Her hostess skills were more than welcome when she made polite chit chat with Joey when nobody else wanted to talk to him.

The game started soon after and Sarah forgot all about Joey and Zoe as she kept her eyes trained on Connor, crossing her fingers that he or any of the others wouldn't get hurt.

Sarah didn't know what Jay was worried about as he played so well. They played together as a team, it was flawless to watch. Even Jeff had started to be a team player again.

They pulled ahead early on and the other team never really caught up, they won the game easier than Sarah had ever seen them before but the game was still heart wrenching and exciting to watch.

The group moved from their seats as the game finished to meet the players as they got off the ice.

"You idiot! You did great!" Emily exclaimed, hugging Jay.

"That's what I told him." Will grinned from ear to ear.

"Hey, you were fantastic." Sarah told Connor as he approached her, his dark hair still stuck to his forehead. "I'm proud of you."

"Thanks." He beamed, leaning down to kiss her, pulling her close for a short and intense one. "We're going to Molly's after, you're coming, right Babe?" He asked.

Sarah froze a little bit at the sudden use of the nickname. "Sounds good." She grinned as he kissed her again his eyes never missing Joey's.

She felt like she had just played a game herself as she felt slightly breathless as he kept his eyes on her until he disappeared from view and into the changing rooms.

Zoe and Joey made their way down as Emily and the girls were chatting with them. Joey didn't sound too amused but Sarah couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh my god, that was so much fun!" Zoe giggled but Joey just rolled his eyes.

"So we're going to Molly's later, you can't leave Chicago without having one of Hermann's milkshakes."

"I'm not sure we should go Zo, we're meant to be in a study field trip."

"Oh, don't be a party pooper." Zoe said shaking him. "Please! When are we even going to be back in Chicago anyway?" She whined.

"Fine." Joey sighed. "If you want."

They all waited for a little for the boys to come back. Connor was soon walked out with Henry, Jay and Will. "Are we ready?" Will said to the group. "We can all go in different cars."

"I'm sorry guys I think I'm going to bail on Molly's. Ethan and April are driving back. And offered me a ride." Natalie said. "Is that okay?"

"Of course." Henry smiled at her. "Thanks for coming." They said their goodbyes to Nat and she shot Joey a glance as she went.

Henry was the one to drive Joey and Zoe to Molly's with Jay and Will in tow.

Connor took the girls. Sarah smiled as Monique and Emily chatted in the back seat, Sarah was thankful, that they didn't mention anything about Joey on the ride over, Rhodes opened the door for the girls and they all met up with Matt, Gabby and the other players by the main entrance of the diner where Herrmann was already setting up.

"Hi kiddos, come on in." Chris smirked as he set up a table for them in the middle of the diner so they could sit together.

Sarah took her seat beside Connor and Will on the other side. It was hard to believe that they could get along now, like well, she also noticed that they were staring at Joey with the same look in their eyes.

"So, milkshakes for all, right?" Henry said with a smile, spotting Claire who had stayed for after game bonding.

"Sit kid." Hermann chided, shoving him beside Claire. "I'll get Tony to help out." It was then that he noticed Joey and Zoe. "I see new faces, who are you?"

"Oh, we're friends of Sarah's from Michigan." Zoe said. "We're here to get a little light on the Chicago life, our small town, it just doesn't compare to a city like this."

"Oh, well it's nice to have you. How did you like the game? Penguins, a winning team." He beamed. "I'll be back with your orders."

Connor sighed, playing with the bracelet in his wrist. "Oh that's cute, you two have matching ones, Joey how come we don't have that?"

"Oh, that's one special story." Henry beamed at Zoe.

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's like this tradition we had as kids…" He was about to speak when he noticed Sarah shifting uncomfortably.

and Connor glared at him to stop talking. "I gave mine to Sarah and she gave me one she made herself." Connor said.

Zoe's eyes lit up. "Aww, that is adorable."

Sarah felt herself blush as Connor placed a hand around her and pulled her close. His eyes never leaving Joey's.

They talked about everything and nothing, hockey and school, Jay at one point whispering to Sarah not to leave Joey alone with his brother or Connor.

"We should go." Joey announced as the conversation started to die down and everyone was getting tired from the game and the long school week. "Mrs. Lindell already sent me a text."

"Right, don't worry, I'll tell her this was very educational." Zoe smiled at the group, "We had such a good time, didn't we Joey?"

He shrugged. "It was fine, not that I find it really rational."

"That's the point, it's meant to be fun, not make sense." Connor said to him. "You do know what fun is, right?"

Joey glared at him. "Still, I don't know what the big appeal is on sports."

"You shouldn't really be saying that, specially not to Hermann over there." Will said, pointing to Chris. "He might kick you out."

Joey just looked over at Hermann and back on at his half empty glass and excused himself to go to the bathroom. Connor's eyes never leaving his step.

Zoe seemed to sense the air thicken because she got them a Lyft to take them to the hotel where they were staying and Sarah walked her out, with Connor following. "Sarah, it was so good to see you, and meeting everyone, thanks for everything, I'm sorry about him." She added looking back at Joey as he disappeared into the crowd. "It's so good to see how well you've settled here."

Sarah was honestly surprised when she realized just how kind Zoe had turned out to be. "I'm sorry if at some point I was not as nice as I should have been."

"Zoe, really it's fine." Sarah smiled just as Joey was making his way out and the car had parked in front of Molly's.

"Connor, it was so nice to meet you,"

"You too." He said, offering her a genuine smile.

"Let's go Zo, I still have to get some study done." Joey said opening the door to the car. "Sarah, Craig, I'll see you around?"

"It's Connor." Zoe corrected him as he held on the door for her and she rolled her eyes at her boyfriend which made Sarah smile.

"Whatever." He gave Connor and Sarah one last glance before shutting the door.

"I still don't like that guy." Connor huffed as he turned on his heels to get back to Molly's. Sarah stopped him though, staring intently into his eyes. "What?"

"I love you." She said, wrapping her arms around his waist, to pull him close. "You know that, don't you?"

"I do, I love you too." He said, relaxing into her touch.

"Thank you for today, I'm sorry, Joey was..."

"Sarah, really you don't have to find excuses for him, he's a jerk, I get that much." He said touching her cheek. " And to be honest, all I do care about is you."

"Same here." She replied as he smiled softly and leaned to kiss her, but pulled apart when the rest of their friends came out of a half empty Molly's, everyone seemed tired.

Connor offered to stay behind with Henry to help Hermann clean up but then realized that he had to get Sarah home.

He apologized to Hermann but he just sent them on their way, Ethan had come to collect the girls and Henry offered to drive WIll and Jay home so they were left alone in the car.

They pulled away from Molly's but Connor suddenly stopped. Sarah just stared at him for a moment.

"Connor?"

"I'm sorry, I just, I had to fight the whole time not to kiss you like crazy while he was there just glaring at me and it got me thinking, I mean I know you said you two weren't really together for long but, I just got so jealous."

"Kiss me." Sarah said, trying to hold back the shakiness in her voice. Connor raised an eyebrow. "Just exactly how you wanted to."

"Sarah.."

"Joey doesn't matter. We do."

He smiled, then turned on his seat and traced a finger in her cheek and then over to the corner of her lip. Sarah swore she was holding her breath the entire time until he leaned to kiss her, softly at first and then more urgently. "I wanted to wipe that glare off his face the entire time." Connor commented and Sarah smiled into the kiss. "Because he knew he'd been the first and I wasn't."

"You told me yourself he'd been your first kiss Sarah and I just couldn't shake that off."

 _Ah, yes, she remembered, they had talked about that earlier into their relationship with Connor admitting that Ava had been his._

"And Ava yours." She retorted, he looked at her, she hadn't mean to come up so bluntly but the truth was, she would also always be jealous of her too and Ava had taken that to her advantage to hurt them both. "But they're just people from our past, they don't define our relationship."

Connor nodded, but then he gave her an apologetic look, brushing the feeling of embarrassment and leaning to kiss her lips, Sarah allowing him to push her lips open.

Ava had been his first kiss, Joey had been hers but now all that mattered was each other and as Connor kissed her senseless, she brushed any thought from her mind apart from how she felt being with him like this. They broke apart for air finally, "That was amazing."

Connor grinned proudly. "You're not bad yourself Reese."

She blushed.

"Is that a challenge, _babe_?"

"Ah, you heard that, did you?" Connor smirked . "I just thought, I'd try it out."

"I like it."

"Me too." He said with a grin as he took her hand in hers and kissed it softly.

Sarah's phone buzzed in her pocket. Her Mom. Both of them sighed and Connor turned on the car as it roared to life.

"We should get going, before my Mom comes to find me herself." Sarah said into the kiss.

Connor pulled back and reluctantly focused back on driving.

He walked her to her door and kissed her again. "You know? Even though I had to put up with him, Joey did make me realize one thing."

"What's that?" Sarah asked curiously.

"That all I wanted to prove to him was that he couldn't hurt you anymore." She raised an eyebrow. "Remember back when we met? Jason had said that Joey had made you cry and that I shouldn't? Well, I did promise Jason that I'd make you happy and I intend to do just that, Sarah Reese."

* * *

 **Sorry for the late update guys! Sooo they ran into Joey and jealous Connor is epic, isn't it? What did you think?**


	42. Chapter 42

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 42**

May had officially arrived along with a bunch of social events, including little Sophie's christening, which everyone sort of knew Hermann had moved up so Elizabeth could be there. It was drawing on him that she was tired but tried her best to dress up and be there for him, it was so beautiful yet heartbreaking at the same time.

Connor and Claire had gone with her. Her son looked so handsome, almost all grown up as he led Sarah to the door of the chapel, Henry then offered Claire his arm and the two also made their way inside. Kelly then pushed her along with her children.

"Lizzie, look at you." Chris smiled at her. "Thank you for coming."

"I wouldn't have missed it for anything." She said as he leaned to kiss her cheek and she squeezed his hand gently. Then Cindy stepped up to greet her too and Elizabeth took the baby into her arms as they all began taking pictures.

Natalie sat in church with Nate and Olivia while her parents tended to Lily and Josh.

She smiled as Sarah and Connor slid in beside her. "Hey guys."

"Hi." Connor greeted her with a smile. Sarah did the same.

"Don't you look nice?"

There was a tone in her voice Connor didn't miss on. Almost like sadness, but it wasn't a surprise, she had had a rough week at school as she was almost 8 months pregnant and the end of the semester rolled around. It was a lot to deal with but she'd shown up for Henry, Hermann and Cindy. and baby Sophie.

The small chapel began to fill, Max, Kenny and Luke were in their Sunday's best, under Henry's watchful eye as Anabelle held onto the baby for another set of pictures.

Sarah caught Connor glancing over at his Mom, she sat on the wooden bench to his right.

She squeezed his hand gently. The last few weeks had been hard as her health had began to decline again but Elizabeth had refused to go back to the hospital so Kelly had had to be tending to her at home mostly and Sarah knew it was taking a toll on Connor and Claire both.

To see their mother so sick and not being able to do anything. Her eyes caught the latter, next to where Henry was standing, the older girl sent a smile her way as the ceremony began.

It was beautiful and sweet and Sarah figured that the Hermann's were quite the experts because baby Sophie didn't cry one bit when the holy water was poured on her.

Sarah had gone to all her family's Christenings back home, way too many of them with her mother being part of a six girls family.

When it was time for a couple pictures once more, Sarah saw how Henry, who had taken himself to be the official photographer handed the phone to Claire so he could gather with his parents and siblings, holding his baby sister.

"Liz, Connor, Claire…" Cindy called. "You too Sarah." She ushered the kids and Kelly helped Elizabeth up as Hermann held on to her from the other side, Henry was quick to occupy the nurse's place so that Kelly could take the picture.

Connor walked up, next to Henry, smiling at his Mom and with Sarah beside him.

"Everything okay?" Connor asked as he looked over at Sarah. Sometimes it made her crazy how easy he could read her.

But she kept quiet. It was a happy occasion, she didn't want to tell him she shouldn't be in the family picture, in case well, they broke up, because of course, she was Sarah Reese and the thought had crossed her mind.

She didn't even want to think about it so she smiled her best and brushed it off. "Nothing." She assured him. She took the next picture though, leaving the spot beside Connor to be taken by his sister, she offered of course, so her insecurities wouldn't be so obvious.

There was one with the Manning's as well. One with Hermann's and Cindy's siblings, her sister and brother in law who happened to be Sophie's godparents.

Sarah got in the back of the van with Connor, his Mom, Claire and Kelly as Earl drove to where the party would take place.

When they got there, all the kids were left to run around and she followed Connor over to a table, but as they walked Cindy caught up to them. "Connor, honey, would you take her for me for a minute? I need to go make sure we'll all be fed."

Connor smiled, taking the baby from her. "Sure, come here Soph."

"Thank you so much, you're a godsend." Cindy said and was on her way to usher people around. Baby Sophie began to fuss a bit in his arms but Connor toted her high in the air and made a funny face, to which Sophie responded by reaching for his face and Connor took the opportunity to kiss her cheek which made the little baby giggle.

Sarah couldn't help but notice how easy it came to him to be holding a baby and just how sweet he was with her and it freaked her out to have a thought so far ahead about them, after all, they were just about to reach the five months mark in a few days. Her mind was seemingly somehow mocking her, one minute she was thinking about how she shouldn't take that many pictures with his family and the next, she began to play with the idea of them being together forever. Honestly, it scared the hell out of her.

"You want to hold her?" Connor asked after a moment. Sarah knew he'd noticed her staring but thankfully he just figured she was watching Sophie.

"Ah, sure." She took the baby from him just as Natalie was passing by and of course, the scene was too cute for her to handle.

"Please let me take a picture." She said with a smile. Connor rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on, you're all dressed up anyway, what's the harm?"

"I'd love to have one just us with Sophie." Sarah said with a smile.

"Okay." Connor agreed, pulling her close as Sarah held on the baby who had taken a shine to her too it seemed.

"Perfect. Should we go find our seats?" Natalie said to them and they followed her over to where Henry, Claire and a bunch of older kids were sitting, mostly cousins.

"Oh Sarah honey, let me take her, thank you so much" Cindy beamed at them as she scooted Sophie away.

"Nat just texted me the picture." Connor said with a smile a moment later, showing it to her. Sarah beamed at it as he leaned to kiss her cheek and telling her how beautiful she looked. He didn't look too bad himself in a dark grey suit and tie.

The rest of the morning passed by pretty fast, soon enough the boys were called off to play with the little kids so Sarah was left alone with Claire and Natalie.

"I don't think we'll see them in a while." Natalie commented. "If things were different, I'd be there too to be honest, but I can barely manage to get up in the morning." She sighed rubbing her baby bump. "I can hardly believe this little guy will be born next month and having his own christening next."

"Have you thought of names yet?" Claire, who was on the other side of Sarah asked, trying to not dwell on the fact too much of the baby coming in a matter of weeks and rather focus on the happier parts.

"Jeff and I made a list last week actually." Natalie commented.

"Oh, so you too are in better terms now?" Claire asked.

Natalie nodded. "I guess, I think I underestimated how involved he wanted to be, he's trying really hard to be there, he's really changed I think, is that even possible?" She added incredulously.

"I think you can." Sarah said. "A few months ago all I thought about was James taking Jason away but now I just believe he wants to be there, you know?"

"Yeah, I think I do." Natalie said with a smile, leaning into her seat and rubbing her bump. "Oh man, I need to go pee again."

"I'll go with you." Claire offered getting up as both girls helped her to her feet. "Sarah, will you be okay?"

"Yeah, for sure." She told her sitting back on her chair, checking her phone to see if her Mom had texted her or anything.

Susan had had to work but she'd sent a present alongside with an apology which Sarah delivered as soon as she got there.

Jason was spending the day over at James's and she had her bag ready to go and spend the night.

"Guess who?" A voice said behind Sarah, too close to her ear which made her shiver. She had been too immersed in her phone to even realize he was standing there.

"Hmm…" She bit her lip, fighting the urge not to turn around. "Ben Platt?"

Connor chuckled. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?" He said, kissing her cheek and sitting beside her.

"Well, yeah, he's Ben Platt." She said with a smile. "Although you could give him a run for his money."

Connor smirked, almost shyly. "Thanks but, I'd never be as good. He's a Tony winning actor."

"You can't fool me." She retorted. "I've heard you sing, never missing your pitch."

"Really? Maybe I'll take your word for it." He smiled, closing in again. "After all, I'd do anything for my number one fan." Sarah felt a shiver run through her as he whispered the words to her ear.

"Always." She said into his lips as she pecked them Connor leaned back on his seat, taking a sip of the water he'd been drinking earlier and shoving his jacket away.

"Are you having a good time?" He asked, his hair sticking a little to his forehead as he turned to face her on his chair.

"Yes, everything is so lovely. Kind of reminds me of parties back home."

"Where are the girls?"

"Bathroom." Sarah said.

"Oh, right." Connor sighed. "Have you all decided where you want the baby shower to be tomorrow?"

"Well, we were thinking maybe Emily's. Do you think your Mom will be up for it? Even if it's just for a little while?"

His expression fell a bit. "Ah, I'm not sure, but we'll see, Emily's place sounds good though."

"Yeah but Nat would have want your Mom to be there..." Sarah continued. "Maybe we could do it over at your house, so if she gets tired…"

"I'm guessing this was your idea?" Connor inquired sweetly, clearly touched by the gesture.

"Well, mine and Nat's. We know how important it is to her."

"I know." Connor agreed, his eyes drifting over to where Elizabeth was sitting with Hermann and the other adults. "Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me."

"Not just for that." He said, brushing her cheek with his hand. "For these past few weeks.I know I haven't been the easiest person to be around."

"Connor, It's not your fault..." She replied quickly and he grazed her forehead with his lips, she wrapped her arms around his waist. "I love you."

"I love you too." He said, kissing her sweetly again.

* * *

"What are you looking at Lizzie?" Hermann asked, following her gaze to where Sarah and Connor were talking. "Ah, those two are sweet, huh?"

"Remind me of someone." Elizabeth said nostalgically.

"A couple kids full of hopes and dreams?" Chris said, taking a sip of his drink.

"Yeah, something like that." Elizabeth said, gazing at Cindy who was chatting to a couple friends not too far away. "You know, I always kind of knew if I wasn't the one to end up with you, it would be her."

"Really?" Chris had never heard the that admission before. "Your best friend?"

"Who better?" Elizabeth said. "I always knew she'd make you happy."

"You did, did you?" Chris sighed. "Well, now that I think of it, you set us up." Elizabeth smiled at him. "Although I never thought I'd love anyone like I loved you."

"You were sixteen Chris."

"So?" Hermann said, defensively. "That doesn't mean I didn't know what love was." He then offered her a smile and looked back at his wife. "What I didn't know back then was that you could always have two great loves in your life and that they'd still be best friends through everything. "

Elizabeth stared at him. "Love is full of surprises. As is life."

"That it is, Lizzie, that it is." Hermann agreed as they kept staring at the kids, Natalie and Henry and Claire had come back to the table and the teens were chatting away.

"Sarah and Natalie asked me if I wanted to come to the baby shower." Elizabeth said suddenly. "I hate to disappoint them but I believe one day out is enough for me." Hermann didn't speak. "I hate that I can't be there for what's important though."

"Lizzie, don't start, those kids understand, they know that you'd be there in a heartbeat if you could, this is about you taking care of yourself."

She nodded. "I've been having these dreams, future glimpses of some kind but I know they can't be real, they're just these make believe moments I wish I was there for. I even began imagining having Michael back in my life. He's like this mix of Connor and Claire that I have in my head, is that crazy?"

"Why would it be crazy?" Hermann asked. "You miss your son, there's nothing wrong with that."

Elizabeth nodded. "I'm having a talk with Cornelius Sunday night." She let out.

"Oh, so he's finally going to be home?"

"Chris…"

"What? You can't keep making excuses for him Lizzie, he's not here and you are his wife."

"And I'm dying." She said bluntly and Chris felt his breath caught up."We're both dealing with it our own way."

"He wasn't even there for you when you lost that baby." Hermann retorted. "And he isn't here for the children he has left either. How can you defend him?" Chris was now seated beside her as Elizabeth stared at Connor and Sarah once more.

"That's what I told you, because I was mad and hurting and grieving…" Elizabeth replied. "He tried to help me, to grieve himself but was too afraid to admit he was weak, that was the way he was raised Chris, he was taught men couldn't show weakness, he couldn't help it."

"And so that makes it right?" Chris said harsher than intended and that made her look over at him.

"No, but I've made my peace with it."

Hermann was starting to become worried, pissed even, _Was she excusing her scumbag of a husband?_

 _Was she delirious? Wishing her baby hadn't died was one thing but projecting Cornelius Rhodes to being something more than a coward? It was more than Chris could handle. She was saying herself he hadn't been brave enough to face the loss of his son, why was she making it seem like she was excusing him?_

They didn't speak more of it because Sarah and Natalie were making their way over, Chris just hoped he would get another chance to talk to her alone soon.

* * *

"So, what did she say?" Connor asked as the girls were returning.

"We can have it at your house, in the morning, she said your Dad is flying in though." Connor tensed up his jaw as Natalie spoke.

"Yeah, he's staying for a while or so he says." Connor almost spat and Sarah took his hand in hers as they sat back down. "But I'm glad Mom will be up for it though, she's really looking forward to it."

"And apparently my Mom is too, even though I'm not sure just how much stuff we might need, my siblings have enough hand me downs." Natalie sighed.

"Wait, I thought your Mom wasn't going?"

"Wasn't being the key word, she just talked to your Mom and now she wants to be there." Natalie didn't seem happy about the idea, anxious even and Sarah could understand why, she couldn't fathom the idea of Susan being okay with her teenage daughter having a baby shower.

"I'm sure it will be okay." Sarah assured her.

"I hope so." Natalie smiled, then it turned into a wince.

"Nat?" Connor instantly jumped to action. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, but the baby is kicking a lot lately." They had felt it before, a couple times actually but no one insisted unless Natalie was up for it because they didn't want to make it a show.

"Here." He said to both of them, taking their hands. Connor's was brushing Sarah's as they waited.

Then they felt it and an instant smile was painted in both their faces. "A line backer maybe?" Connor offered with a smirk.

Natalie huffed. "If it was up to Jeff."

"That is amazing." Sarah beamed.

"Oh, what, are we rubbing the belly for good luck or something?" Henry asked, arriving with Claire by his side.

Connor smiled, retrieving back on his seat a bit and he noticed Sarah doing the same and glancing at her phone as the other two focused on Natalie and the baby. "Is Jason okay?"

"He's fine." Sarah admitted. "I'm the one who's always a bit anxious when he goes over, there's not a miss for tantrums and James doesn't have the best touch with him."

Connor wrapped his arm around her. "I'm sure he's fine, plus you're seeing him tonight, right?"

Sarah smiled brushing her phone's screen.

"Hey, you want to go for a walk?" Connor asked. Sarah didn't think twice and she took his hand as he pulled her up.

They came into the other side of the garden as they played with each other's fingers. "Are you okay?" Sarah asked because Connor was quiet. She figured he was probably thinking about his father's impending arrival.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Quiet is good and being with you even better." He turned her around so she was facing him and leaned to kiss her. "Thank you for coming with me, I Don't think I told you how beautiful you look."

"You did, but I don't mind you saying it again." Sarah admitted, blushing a little bit and leaning to kiss him as well. "You look good too." She said into his lips.

"Just good?" He asked playfully.

"No, I must admit I have a pretty cute boyfriend." Connor smirked at her comment. "Just don't tell Ben Platt."

"I won't." He laughed.

"We should get back." She said reluctantly.

"Yeah, you're probably right." His face fell a little. They found everyone eating by the time they arrived to the table. Claire sent an inquiring look her brother's way but he just brushed it off.

He then turned to look over to where his Mom was sitting, she seemed pretty much lost in her thoughts. "I'll be right back," He told Sarah and pushed his napkin from his lap and stood up. "Hey." He told his Mom softly, reaching to kiss her cheek. "Did you eat something?"

"Yes." She told him, still a little absent minded. "Is Sarah having a good time?"

"She is."

"Good, and you baby, what's up?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to check on you."

"It seems like that's what everyone is doing lately." Elizabeth admitted, fighting the urge to glance over at Chris who was talking to one of his brothers. Connor smiled, crouching down to her level, "Do you want us to go home?"

"No, I'm fine, really honey, I just want to enjoy that it's warmer today." His mother assured him, with no oxygen mask and the warmth of the sun, Elizabeth felt like she was in better spirits but Chris pulling back from her after their talk had left her thinking, not that her son needed to know that. "You go and enjoy your friends, I promise I'll let you know, alright?"

Connor didn't seem too convinced but decided not to push on the subject. "Alright, I love you Mom."

"I Love you too sweetheart. Go have fun." And with that he walked away, not before glancing back again worriedly.

* * *

The next morning came too quickly for Natalie. Morning in general came too quickly lately as all she really wanted to do was sleep. Whoever said pregnancy was easy lied.

She went through her now long and rambling morning routine of showering and eating a healthy breakfast. Helen, Jeff's Mom had taken to sending over specially made meals to make sure the baby was healthy. Nat thought it was nice albeit overbearing but her own parents weren't impressed. Everything in the last eight months had been a tug of war.

Between her and Jeff.

Between Nat and her parents. And now between her parents and Jeff's parents.

It felt never ending but Natalie knew the end of her pregnancy was coming quickly.

In just a month she would have an actual baby.

She kind of wondered if it had sunk in yet.

Connor, the angel, came and collected Nat and her Mom and brought them to his house. He was playing buffer between the pair and making sure they both actually came. Natalie knew Elizabeth was probably exhausted but looking forward to it.

Claire met them with Kim who had come as well, at the front door, announcing that Cindy was with Elizabeth and that Nat's school friends were waiting for her.

She also whispered to Nat that Henry had wanted to stay and run interference and make sure it all went without anyone getting upset but Claire had finally persuaded him to go home. She promised Nat that she was a good hostess and would take care of everything. Connor was quickly banished to and he decided to go and hang out with Henry at Molly's,

Claire led her into the living room that now looked like a blue confetti wonderland. Kim had commented that both girls had been hard at work making it look perfect.

"I don't know why we're celebrating a teen pregnancy." Her Mom sniffed quietly to the other women.

"Because your daughter needs all the support she can get right now." Elizabeth said in a calm and quiet voice but it left no room for argument.

Nat was now very happy that she and Sarah had come up with the idea of Elizabeth being there. Seeing Cindy and Elizabeth and Chris together yesterday had been sort of weird seeing as she now knew their sort of history, but Nat could understand having to be friends with someone you liked.

"Now take a seat and relax, this will be a _nice_ few hours okay? I've got it all under control." Claire comforted her while also breezing in and out of the room like she was on a military operation.

"You look great Natalie, I love your shirt." Emily said, sitting beside her, either completely oblivious or knowingly ignoring the disapproving looks her mother was sending her.

"Thanks Emily." She said. Natalie had tried to not buy too much items of maternity clothes, with a house full of kids already, money was tight. But Claire had bought her a few nice pieces. Claire had started dropping things into her. Things that Natalie had mentioned without a second thought but Claire had picked up on. A nice outfit for today, a support pillow for her new found back pain and Claire had taken to weeding out the ever growing mountain of books that Henry would send over that had become daunting to Natalie.

And if last year someone had told her that Claire Rhodes would be reformed and helping her with her pregnancy she would not have believed them. Last year Natalie was pretty sure that nobody even knew where Claire was half the time.

But Nat supposed the older girl had a lot to run away from.

Claire now winced every time Elizabeth so much as cleared her throat across the room, obviously waiting for the next episode of bad health.

Natalie began to relax when she realised her mother wasn't going to go on one of her pregnancy related rants and she could actually enjoy a nice day with her friends.

Henry had been slightly put out that he wasn't invited to the all girls event and now demanded that they have a day out as the three musketeers one last time before the baby came along.

Natalie felt like it was going to be a bittersweet day.

It felt like a slightly odd sort of baby shower, where everyone tried not to mention Jeff. But there was a cake and silly games and presents so Natalie wasn't complaining.

Monique and Emily had made her a care package of body lotions and a handmade scrapbook so Natalie could keep a record of all the baby firsts and two soft blankets, one for her and one for the baby. They also included a book of 'IOU babysitting hours' vouchers that they told her she had to use. They said there was no point in having friends if they couldn't help her out.

"You guys that is so sweet, thank you." She said, hugging them both, not even trying to hold back the happy tears. She was eight months pregnant at sixteen, she figured she was allowed to cry.

April got her a hamper of soft toys and Cindy gave her a bundle of new clothes. And Kim a handmade blanket for him to sleep in.

The boys had told her Elizabeth wanted to give her an antique baby mobile that had been in her family for years but it still touched her, "and I have one more present but I want to give it when the baby is born." She smiled.

Sarah handed over a card that Jason had made for her that simply stated 'Happy Baby' on the front and Natalie made a note to hang it on the picture wall for the baby. Sarah had obviously dragged her Mom back to the stores they had visited the day of the all girls shopping trip and picked up the things that Natalie had longed for. There was a cute Disney baby-grow and outfit that Natalie had coo'd over but couldn't justify buying because the baby had plenty of hand me downs, a picture frame that she could engrave with the baby's date of birth and a fancy bottle holder that one of Henry's books said was practically mandatory that she had wanted.

Sarah was an observer. She caught the things that nobody else picked up on.

"Sarah, this is so amazing, thank you." She pulled the younger girl in for a hug.

Natalie's Mom was the last to go and honestly Natalie wasn't expecting anything until her Mom produced a teddy bear from her bag. Natalie would recognise that teddy anywhere, it looked exactly like the one she owned. She had been given it to her Grandma as a baby and it rarely left her side as a child, it went with her on every sleepover, it saved her from many a monster under the bed and she still reached for it when she couldn't sleep. But hers was pink and missing an ear at this point. The teddy bear that her Mom handed her was blue and looked brand new.

Her Mom cleared her throat, "I know that you think your father and I are upset about all this Natalie. And yes we're disappointed with the timing of it, the circumstances but you have to understand that you and that baby could never be a disappointment to us. Ever. And well you love that teddy your Grandma gave you, so I thought the baby might like one his Grandma gave him?"

There wasn't a dry eye in the room for ten minutes after her Mom's impromptu speech.

"Okay, I think it's time for more cake." Claire declared while still sniffling.

Sarah was glad for the happy soft laughter that went around after Claire made to move and retrieve more cake. She could see it on Natalie's face just how much her Mom's words meant to her. Sarah stood up to go and help Claire out.

"Sarah, dear, would you mind wheeling me out with you?" Elizabeth asked, "I think it's time for me to have a rest."

"Of course." Sarah replied. She stepped out of the way and chatted with Cindy while Elizabeth called Nat over and had a few words with her. After Natalie had let go of her, Sarah followed Claire out of the room with Elizabeth. Looking at the older woman, she did look overly pale, Sarah could only hope for everyone's sake that the two days events hadn't been too much for her, especially with Cornelius coming home later that evening.

"That was a lovely baby shower." Elizabeth smiled but even Sarah could tell that she was just trying to stay awake now.

Katie met them halfway down the hall just as the front door opened.

It was like everything went into slow motion. Sarah had her back to the door but she could see Claire's reaction to the person that had arrived. Claire froze, and the mask that she wore that projected that she had everything together slipped off her face.

"What are all these cars doing parked out there?" A man's voice demanded as if the cars were dirt under his feet. "Is everything okay?" The voice softened but Sarah's heart still raced faster.

"Dad…" Claire started and Sarah turned her head to look, and there in the foyer with a stormy expression on his face, was Cornelius Rhodes.

* * *

 **Uh Oh! Daddy Rhodes just showed up! We wanted to keep off too much drama for a while but it's about to get crazy. What did you think?**


	43. Chapter 43

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 43**

Sarah thought that he'd look more...scary. From everything she had heard about the man she had an idea of a monster in her head but there he was, standing in the foyer with a clean and crisp tailored suit and a briefcase in his hand.

The worst part was that Sarah could see some resemblance between Cornelius and Connor. He had his Dad's nose and the same straight posture.

"Everything is fine Dad." Claire recovered, "You're home early." She said in a biting tone.

He laughed humorlessly, "Is a man not allowed to come home whenever he wants?"

Sarah shrank back as he glanced at her, the stranger in the crowd. He didn't need to look scary or even raise his voice, he stood like he was the most important person in the world and she felt intimidated. Especially when she had never met him before.

"What on earth is going on?" He asked, taking long strides over and kissing Elizabeth's cheek. "You shouldn't be out of bed Beth."

Claire pursed her mouth as if debating her next words. "We're having a baby shower."

"A baby shower?" He creased his eyebrows the same way that Connor often did, "Anyone I know? I heard that Violet Hunters granddaughter is expecting, is it her?"

"No Dad, it's Natalie Manning."

"Oh you cannot be serious?" He said, punctuating every word.

"Cornelius…." Elizabeth sighed.

"No Elizabeth, this is beyond ridiculous. That girl was nothing before and she's even less now. Getting pregnant at sixteen, they already have a house full of kids. They're like rabbits, just like the Herrmann's for crying out loud. They are not the people we should be associating with. How often do we have to talk about this? You've paraded our children around with the likes of them for long enough but this is a step too far. And look at you, this has exhausted you. They are ungrateful, after us for our money and not worthy of our attention for one second longer." He turned to Claire, "I've had a long week, I want them all gone by the time I come down for dinner."

Claire looked between her parents as if she was seeing exactly how ill her Mom looked for the first time and looked like she knew better not to argue. She just nodded her head.

"And who are you? I don't believe we've met before?" He asked, turning to face Sarah.

She opened her mouth but no words came out. This was the very man who already had Connor's entire life planned out for him and had caused his family so much pain already.

"Dad." Claire said, jumping in and saving Sarah, "This is Sarah Reese, Connor's girlfriend."

The very girlfriend that Cornelius didn't want his son seeing because he had thought Ava and her business connections were a much better choice.

"Oh." He stole a glance at Elizabeth and Sarah could only hope that he didn't notice how white her knuckles had gone from gripping the wheelchair handles so tightly. "Ms. Reese, nice to finally meet you. Claire, remind your brother to have Ms. Reese over for dinner sometime."

And with that he was gone. Leaving Sarah and Claire utterly surprise by the sudden change of tone. Katie then smiled comfortingly as she took Elizabeth's wheelchair from Sarah and took a now exhausted Elizabeth towards her room, who didn't miss the chance to brush Sarah's hand as she went.

"...and that was my father." Claire concluded with a deep sigh. "Make sure when you tell Connor that you met Dad that I didn't know he would be home so early won't you? He'd kill me if he thought I landed you in with Dad." She looped an arm through Sarah's, "Come on, let's get that cake."

"And then we have to leave?" Sarah asked the heavy question that was hanging in the air.

"The last thing that Mom needs now is another fight." Claire said as she cut the cake into more slices. Sarah noticed Claire's hand shaking. "I'm on Natalie's side but…"

"I get it." Sarah said softly. And besides, she didn't really feel like sticking around until Cornelius came back downstairs, especially when Connor wasn't around. It felt like the man could see right through her.

Claire somehow managed to usher everyone home without making it feel like she was pushing them out under a time limit. Natalie, the last person to go, had just left with her Mom as Arthur was driving them when Connor turned up.

Sarah had just taken down the last balloon.

"What is Dad's car doing outside? Is everything okay?" He asked, bursting into the room.

"Mom's fine. Exhausted. But fine. And Dad's home. Go figure." Claire explained. "I did not know he would be home this early." She clarified.

"Hey." Connor greeted Sarah before his face fell. "You met my Dad?"

Sarah cleared her throat, "Sort of."

He looked like he was caught on a knife edge of either being terrified or furious. "Why don't I get you home?" But sarah knew what his unspoken words were, _let me get you out of her before you have to meet see again_.

Sarah was in the front seat of his car in no time. "He didn't...insult you or anything? I swear I never wanted to put you in that position." He ranted as he wound his car through the city.

"I know." Sarah reassured him. "He was okay to me….the Mannings and the Herrmanns on the other hand…"

"He's such a conceited, power hungry, egotistic…" Connor growled.

"The baby shower was good though." Sarah said quietly, hoping to change the subject.

"And I have to put up with him at home this weekend." Connor continued.

"Natalie enjoyed it." Sarah attempted again.

"And I wanted to spend time with you before the exams came up and we'd have to study so much and then Nat's baby is coming and summer and…" Connor rambled on.

"I actually meant to mention that to you yesterday..." Connor then turned to look at her, somehow shutting off his rambling. "...about summer. I was talking with Mr Charles and he suggested that I apply for this summer program at the university...to take extra classes for advanced placements...he thinks I'd be able to get in...I don't think so though, it's very prestigious."

Connor gave up any pretentions of driving and pulled over. Sarah cringed at the awkward timing, mid rant was probably not when her boyfriend wanted to hear about her going away for the summer.

"Really? Sarah's that great. Of course you'd get in, you're amazing."

"Yeah...but it's in Baylor."

"As in...Texas?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"Yeah and it's for seven weeks and that's a really long time away from everyone... From you." Connor felt a smile softly paint in his lips. "So I don't know. I probably won't get in anyway."

"Don't do that Sarah, you're brilliant. They'd be crazy not to accept you." He took her hand. "But don't think about not going because of me." He said quickly to her.

"I'd miss you though."

"I'd miss you more." He said with a sad smile. "What about Jason?" He asked, "Would he be okay without you?."

"Mom said her work will allow her to be in their offices for the summer if I got in. She's a big fan of the idea. I have to meet with Mr Charles to finish off the rest of my application this week."

"That sounds good, sounds like a plan."

He sighed, looking out the window while running his thumb along the back of her hand. "Are you sure my Dad didn't say anything horrible to you?"

"He actually told Claire to tell you to invite me over for dinner sometime."

"Really? Mom must have him under warning. He's not usually so civil." Connor said, surprised obviously.

"He did have some choice words about Natalie and Henry's families."

"He's never liked them." Connor said in a resigned manner as if he had accepted the fact a long time ago.

"So you'd miss me, if I left for the summer…?" she asked in a quiet voice, trying to change the subjects again. Even just seeing Connor's Dad brought back bad memories of Ava and not feeling like Connor should even like someone like her.

"Like crazy." He said, leaning across and placing his hands on the side of her face like she was made of breakable porcelain. Then he kissed her as if she was leaving right that second.

They ended up somewhere between their seats with Connor's hands on her back, pulling her closer if such a thing were possible. After finally admitting it out loud, leaving actually seemed possible and Sarah was scared. _What if he forgot about her?_

 _Or met someone else?_

So she kissed him back just as much.

She wasn't even embarrassed by the mumble of protest that she made when his lips left hers. She had just opened her eyes to see what the problem was when she let out a gasp of shock when she felt his lips on her neck.

"This okay Babe?" He asked, clearly making sure he wasn't overstepping.

"Yes." She managed to nearly squeak out a little too loudly and she felt him chuckle before trailing kisses up and down her neck which caused her to close her eyes.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket making them jump apart, and she saw his face looked as flushed as she felt.

"Hi Jason, everything okay?" She tried to make her voice sound normal but it felt like her blood was humming Connor's name.

"Is the party over? Did Natalie like my card?"

Sarah cleared her throat, "Yeah I'm just on my way home now okay? She loved it."

He was happy enough with the answer and Sarah hung up.

"I think that's my cue to _actually_ drive you home." Connor sighed pulling away and turning the car back on.

"Afraid so." Sarah said. But they held hands the entire way.

Whatever life had in store for them, they were going to face it together.

* * *

Sarah handed her last sheet of application for Mr. Charles too look over. "We probably won't know for a little while." He told her. "But I'm optimistic."

"That's okay." Sarah replied. "I appreciate the opportunity."

"Still. I believe you do have a very good chance Sarah." She nodded and then the bell rang. Thankfully she had asked Connor to get Jason. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yes, Thank you again sir." Sarah smiled and grabbed her bag, dashing out and toward the elementary school building.

"Sarah, Connor said I can have milkshakes in my party." Her brother said. "And Katie Can make my cake."

Sarah glanced at her boyfriend. "I'll have a talk with Hermann, I'm sure it's no problem."

"We still have to talk to Mom about it okay?"

Jason nodded and then began walking in front of them, Connor swung the little boy's backpack over his shoulder and reached for Sarah's hand. "How did the meeting go?"

"Well, we just have to wait and see." She said, biting her lip. Connor pulled her close.

"I'm sure you'll get it."

Sarah nodded, thankfully but didn't say another word. Connor waved at James as he opened the door for Sarah and Jason and headed to his own car.

Days really had seemed to be going way too fast, the team had a couple games left in the season and it was starting to dawn in Antonio, although he had said he was sure he'd take the job as junior coach he'd been offered by the school and Coach Otis.

A new team captain would have to be chosen though, everyone knew Henry would most likely get it, Connor honestly hoped he did.

They were done with practice one afternoon when Antonio gathered them around the locker rooms. "So, look guys, I'm not about to get all sentimental but I just want to say that if I don't stay here next year, it has been great playing with all of you. And I'll come to every game still So I know no one is slacking, hear? I didn't work so hard to keep all of you in one piece for nothing."

Coach Otis thanked Antonio and also spoke to them all. "And now is time for us to name the new team Captain." He announced. "I know we still have a couple weeks left in the semester but he better get used to it."

Everyone looked over where the Coach was staring at.

 _Henry._

Connor blinked and then smiled proudly and bumped his shoulder with his to get his attention. "What? Me?"

"Of course you Henry, it was a unanimous decision." Antonio beamed. "We think you are up to it, the job is yours if you want it."

Henry smiled, still struggling with the praise. He glanced around the room, Jay and Will beamed at him and even Jeff seemed pleased.

"Just one thing though?" He said. "Can we wait a little while to make it official? I want to tell my Dad first."

Everyone knew Hermann, this would be so important for him and he wouldn't want it to be announced before he had a chance to tell him.

"I'm proud of you man." Connor beamed at him as they walked to the almost empty parking lot after. "Your Dad is going to go crazy."

"Yeah." Henry said almost hesitant. "I can't believe it still, I thought Antonio was going to give it to you to be honest."

Connor raised an eyebrow. "Me? Nah, man if there's one who deserves it, that's you. I'm still getting back into it anyway."

"That doesn't mean you are not good enough, you just have to keep working at it." Henry retorted. "If it were me I'd would have given you the job."

Connor wasn't ready to admit it to Henry but his knee was starting to bother him, even though the doctor had cleared him to play, he still advised him not to push himself too much. But to him, hockey was a way to let out steam, to stand having his father around, the ups and downs of Elizabeth's illness, managing to keep his grades up and deal with the idea of Sarah not being around for the summer.

"You want to go grab something to eat?" Henry offered.

"Sorry, I have to get home." Connor said, playing with his car keys, almost sadly.

"Ah, Cornelius still hasn't left?"

"No, and I'm starting to get worried." Henry raised an eyebrow. "He and Mom are spending more time together, more than maybe in my entire life..."

"And how is that a bad thing?"

"It's not, not really, it's just it's been such a long time since they'd been, well, my parents like that Henry, since before Mom got sick. He's treating me and Claire almost like, well like he can stand us and…"

"Then there's the whole Sarah thing." Henry said opening his car's door and holding onto it, Of course Henry had found out about Sarah and Cornelius's meeting Sunday. "When is she going over to dinner?"

"Friday." Connor sighed. "I don't know who's more nervous, her or me."

Henry smiled. "Come on, if anyone can get through your Dad, it's Sarah, I know it."

* * *

Elizabeth hadn't been up for much lately, but one afternoon after Cornelius had come from work and the kids weren't home, she asked Katie to take her to his office as soon as he got in. "Beth? What are you doing out of bed?"

"Waiting for you." She said, tiredly but determined. "We need to talk." She looked at him with those deep blue eyes and he stood his ground but still bit his lip. "About what's going to happen when I'm gone."

Cornelius leaned against his desk, waiting for her to continue. "I've been playing this conversation in my head for days, I was too tired last week when you came home and then I heard you and Connor arguing."

"You heard us?"

"It was hard not to." She retorted. It had been stupid really, but with both their tempers flaring, things had escalated pretty quickly, for which Claire had had to intervene and then Connor had made an startling admission when back talking to his father, about that night of the Gala.

"Did you know he was drunk? Did you even notice he was upset that night? He's so much like you, yet tries so hard not to be."

Cornelius still didn't speak. "I know you and him don't have the easiest relationship but he's more much like you than you realize and I know you both."

"Beth…"

"Did you ask him about the Gala? Did you even notice they were gone?" Elizabeth asked again.

"No…"

"No, because you were too busy, to care for your own children. I don't even mind anymore that you don't spend time with me, but Connor and Claire, they don't deserve it."

"I have a job to do, medical bills to pay, a legacy to secure, I'm not here because I'm working…"

"You and I both know that's not entirely true." She shot at him. "And life is not just about money." Cornelius looked at her. "They are going to need you Cornelius..."

"What do you want from me? To be like Christopher Herrmann, I might be cheating, but so are you. You never got over him."

Elizabeth froze for a minute. "You are the father of my children and my husband. Christopher and I would never dare to cheat on you." Cornelius felt her stare firmly on him, like she was going to throw his own indiscretions back at him, but she didn't. Why? He didn't know.

"Not physically, no, but emotionally." He said to her grimly. "And when you decided to make him Connor's godfather, I even had my suspicions he was... well we were told it wasn't going to be easy for us to have another child, after we, uh, lost Michael."

Elizabeth hadn't heard him say their child's name in almost 20 years but she quickly recovered. "Connor is your son," She said firmly. "But all you do is push him away…"

Cornelius sighed. "He doesn't even like me."

"You haven't given him the chance to get to know you." Elizabeth said as Cornelius paced back and forth. "Or taken the time to get to know him either."

"I'm allowing him to bring home that Reese girl…" He almost snarled.

"And that's a great first step but what's going to happen after, when I'm gone? And to Claire? That girl is so smart, you should see her, she's just like you when it comes to business. That's what she chose that major, because she wants to prove to you that she's worthy of it."

Cornelius stopped pacing. "She did tell me she wanted to take on an internship and she's been working hard at the store."

Elizabeth nodded. "In spite of everything that's happened, she still wants to make her father proud."

"Connor should be the one to run Dolen Rhodes, Claire is expected to do other things."

"Why? Because she's a woman? You are not your father Cornelius and Claire is not your mother. She's smart enough to take it on her own and she wants to."

"And Connor?"

"He might have other dreams."

Cornelius huffed. "People like us, we don't get to choose our path Beth, you know that…"

"It was over 20 years ago, times change, you can be the one to steer things, to give Connor and Claire the chance for them to make their own decisions." She took a deep breath and reached for his hand. "A chance that wasn't given to us."

Elizabeth tried to get some rest before dinner, but her mind was reeling, between her conversation with her husband and the images in her head, the vivid dreams were returning, she wasn't stupid though, she knew what they meant, it was stress and the damn tumor in her head, which was to blame for everything.

She swore she could see it all though, Michael teaching Connor how to ride a bike, Claire coming to cry into her big brother's arms after a bad fight with her boyfriend. When her son had been born, Elizabeth noticed, he unlike Claire didn't have her eyes, he took after his father the most and perhaps that was what had caused Cornelius to push Connor away.

Michael had been the child he'd wanted, but she had insisted on trying again, despite the fact that her doctors had said that conceiving another child would most likely affect her greatly after having lost Michael, but she had kept her ground and prayed and her miracle finally arrived, almost two years after she'd lost him, Connor had been born and her life had made sense again.

It didn't depress her like the doctors had assumed it would, on the contrary, Connor had been her miracle baby, the baby that had survived.

* * *

Sarah sat in the passenger seat of Connor's car as he drove them to his house to study, he promised his Dad was out for the evening so she wouldn't have to face him before dinner on Friday. Finals were around the corner, coming far too quickly. Henry was going to meet them there with Nat and because Jason had gone a playdate over at Danny's Sarah didn't have to worry about staying later than usual.

Connor kept sipping his coffee as he drove and she had been worried about him all day, he had dark circles under his eyes and even appeared in school in looking a bit untidy, much unlike himself. And he was incessantly tapping the steering wheel. "Are you okay? You haven't seemed yourself all day..." She asked, she knew but having his father back after so long seemed to have thrown him off a bit. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Connor shrugged. "Did I ever tell you I had an older brother?" Sarah's gaze didn't falter, not right away anyway. "He died before I was born."

Sarah didn't reply. She really wasn't sure what to say. "My parents never mention him though, if it wasn't for Claire and Katie, I wouldn't even know he existed."

"What happened?" Was all Sarah was able to ask.

"He died in his sleep one night." Connor answered somberly. "He was about 4 months old."

Sarah had heard about that, babies who happened to die by no apparent reason, she'd been six years old when Jason had been born but she couldn't even imagine what life without her brother would be like.

"The thing is, I heard my Mom mention him last night." Connor said, rolling his shoulders as if trying to rid himself of the memory. "She kissed my cheek goodnight and called me Michael. She's never done that before. So I turned off her lights and waited outside her door to make sure she went to sleep, then I walked back a bit later to make sure she was still breathing…" He sighed heavily and Sarah squeezed the hand she'd taken into hers a moment earlier.

"She was talking to him like he'd talk to me Sarah, like he was standing there beside her." Sarah could hear the fright in his voice. "It was almost like she was vanishing, drifting somewhere inside her mind, somewhere where Michael was still alive. It wasn't even for a little while, she'd go quiet and then an hour later start back up again but she was sleeping I think..."

Sarah moved closer to him. "I'm sure it's just the fact that Nat's having a baby, maybe that's stirred on some feelings?"

Connor nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right."

"So you didn't get much sleep."

"No." He shook his head, "I just kept thinking that I had to keep listening. Because there's going to be a day when I'll never hear her voice again."

* * *

"Oh hey Henry." Claire greeted him after she opened the door. She wrapped her cardigan around herself tighter as if she was cold. "Come on in, the lovebirds haven't arrived yet."

"Hi Claire." He said, trying to not fall over his own feet in front of her. "How's your day going?"

"Oh you know, same as you. I'm hitting the books, university is hard." She made a face. "Don't let people tell you otherwise."

But Henry guessed she was studying, her long hair was tied on the top of her head with a pencil behind her ear and her glasses on that she always swore made her look ugly.

Henry didn't agree, he thought she looked breathtaking all of the time.

"Is Nat not coming with you?"

"No, she was tired and went home early. She needs all the rest she can get."

Claire nodded as she led him into the kitchen where she had taken over the table with her laptop and an assortment of books and notebooks that would make Sarah proud. "Coffee? I've just made a fresh pot." She offered. "Katie has gone shopping for what she deems healthy study food, me, I'm happy with coffee and sugar."

Henry sat at the breakfast counter as she bustled around and he finally got to look at her while she didn't notice. Something was off, her movements were too frantic and her attitude entirely too peppy for someone who had to study.

"So what's up with you? Any news?" She asked, placing his mug in front of him and leaning against the other side of the counter with hers nestled in her hands.

He figured he could tell her, she'd keep his secret. "I, eh, actually made captain for the hockey team next year." He admitted even if it hadn't sunk in yet. "But don't tell my Dad, I'm going to tell him first myself."

"Henry! That's fantastic news. Congratulations."

"Thanks." He smiled bashfully, "I'm not sure I'll be any good though…"

"Are you kidding? Henry you're an amazing player and the team loves you. You'll be great." She beamed, "I'll definitely have to go to all your games next season."

He would hand over his numbered jersey right there if she'd asked but he kicked himself. It was never going to happen. He had to get over it.

"I would tell your Mom but you know what her and Dad are like, she'd be on the phone to him before I could get back down the stairs." He grinned, taking a sip of the coffee. "Is she up? I'll go say hi."

Claire winced as if someone had just punched her in the stomach and set her mug down so fast, the coffee sloshed over onto the countertop and floor. "Dammit." She cursed, rushing to get a napkin and rubbed at the spilled liquid a little too hard.

"Maybe not today Henry, she's a little...confused." She said, trying to recollect herself. "Kelly is up there trying to get through to the doctor to see if they can alter her meds slightly to help. Apparently me buzzing around her was becoming annoying to Kelly and tiring to my Mom. I don't even know how to help anymore." She threw the napkin in the bin and closed it with a sigh.

With her back turned to him, Henry could have easily missed it, but this was Claire. He had known her his whole life. He knew she was biting back tears and recomposing herself.

Being a Rhodes left no room for emotion.

"Nothing I do is right." She said turning around with a calm face as if she was discussing the weather but he could see right through her facade. "I mean first I'm never here enough and now I'm here too much."

She checked the time on her phone, "Connor and Sarah should be here soon, you won't have to sit around and listen me complaining anymore."

"I don't mind." He told her.

"That's because you're Henry and you're too sweet." She pointed out before another cell phone buzzed from atop her pile of books on the table.

Henry thought she had moved quickly before, but she moved like lightning across the room to grab the phone.

"Oh did someone forget their phone?" He asked.

"No. It's eh…" She was distracted now, typing out some fast reply.

"Yeah?"

"Nothing." She bit, quickly shoving the second phone into her pocket.

"You okay Claire?" He asked.

"Nothing's fine Henry." She sighed, reaching for her cup across his shoulder.

"I was asking about _you_." He said, turning in his seat so they were facing each other.

"I have college and I'm here and my life is perfect now right, as opposed to mess it had been?" She said, crossing her arms.

"You say it like it's a bad thing." He said and he couldn't help it. His heart raced harder, what if they lost her again?

She scoffed, "I don't know anymore. I don't know what I want anymore." She started rocking back and forth on her heels, "Actually that's a lie, I do know what I want, I want my Mom not to die." she looked away as if the tears that started to fall were something to be ashamed of.

"No matter what I do, how I reform my life, it doesn't make things better. Mom is still going to die I'm a nuisance around here, getting under everyone's feet. And how am I meant to take care of Connor when she's gone? I can't take of myself! Look at my life choices, I'm just the black sheep of the family…"

"Claire." He said, putting his hands on her shoulders. "You don't have to do this alone. You've so many people who care about you."

"I have to be stronger than this." She cursed herself, rubbing at her eyes.

"You are one of the strongest people I know."

"Thank you Henry."

"But I also think you should give me that second phone. It might not be my place but there's no point going back there Claire, not when you've come so far."

She took a step back as if she was burned.

"Okay, sorry, I overstepped...i didn't mean…" He started.

But she rubbed her face with her hands and straightened her clothes, nodding to herself and took the phone from her pocket. And handed it to him.

"You're one of a kind, you know that Henry?" She said with a sort of sad smile.

"You know if you ever need to talk about anything…"

"Thank you Henry." She said, pulling him for a hug and Henry had to refrain from wrapping his hands around her and holding on.

She let go as they heard Connor call from the hallway. Apparently his friends had arrived. And he no longer had an excuse to just hang out with Claire.

 _It was probably for the best_ , Henry thought.

"I better get back to studying huh? My life isn't going to fix itself right? I better keep at it."

* * *

"Wow...Texas?" Henry asked when Sarah told about the summer program at their study break.

"Yeah." Connor said, hoping his real feelings about the matter didn't come across in his tone of voice. He was incredibly proud of his girlfriend but he wasn't crazy about the thought of her leaving for so long. But he would never tell her that, he didn't want to hold her back.

"Everything's moving so fast isn't it?" Henry pondered, helping himself to some more of the fruit that Katie had laid out for them. "Think about it, this time next year I could be playing my last game of highschool hockey as captain and we'll be weeks from graduating high school and everyone will be going in different directions, not to mention Nat's kid will be a year old...since when did we grow up? Last time I checked we were playing peewee hockey and learning to read."

But Connor's mind just jumped to the major change that Henry hadn't mentioned. This time next year his Mom wouldn't be around anymore. _How the hell were he and Claire and their Dad supposed to be a family without her?_

Sarah cleared her throat and shifted in her seat, clearly uncomfortable with the topic of conversation. He hadn't even considered it. Next year he would be leaving and she'd still be at Gaffney.

He couldn't help the nagging thought in the back of his head. What if it was too much for them?

"...Next year is a long time away and we still have the next few weeks to get through." She reminded Henry. "And I think we need to get back to studying."

They finished up an hour and a half later when Henry finally announced that his head was about to explode if Sarah tried and teach him anymore.

That and Connor could see that his best friend was restless and excited about telling his Dad about the captaincy.

When Kelly came down stairs just as they were putting on their coats and told him and Claire that they could chat to their Mom for a few minutes, Henry suggested that he could drive Sarah home.

Connor didn't want to waste any time he had with his girlfriend seeing as all time had become precious in the countdown to her leaving for the summer. She might have her doubts of being accepted but she just didn't see just how good she was. Connor had no doubts.

"Go on, tell her I was asking for her okay?" Sarah said as she reached up and pecked his lips. "Love you. See you in school tomorrow."

With his friends gone he climbed the stairs and called his Mom from the doorway.

"Hi Mom, Kelly said you feeling a little better?"

The room was in darkness and she had a cold cloth on her forehead but she still smiled at him.

"It was a rough day. But don't mind me, how are you?"

"I'm good, Sarah and Henry have just gone home." He said, settling in the chair beside her. "Sarah asked for you. Henry got named senior captain."

"Oh, how wonderful. Chris will be so happy…" She was already drifting off to sleep

Kelly and Claire appeared in the doorway, "Oh she's had a tough day, better to let her rest. Tomorrow will be a better day." Kelly said.

Connor nodded and followed them out of the room.

"Claire, are you okay?"

"Fine. But how many good tomorrows do we get before there are no more tomorrows with her?" She sighed, shaking her head.

"Don't say that."

"It's the truth kid." She said.

"Whatever, I'm going to go clean up."

"No, wait Connor, it's late. You go have a shower and get to bed, you have school early tomorrow. I'll take care of it." She looked like she was going to reach out and ruffle his hair but thought better of it. She hadn't done that in years.

"Okay?" He said. Frankly, he didn't argue, anything to not listen to his sisters morbid thoughts aloud. It was like they didn't even affect her either.

And he had enough of his own haunting thoughts right now.

He went and had a shower and even got a very excited call from Chris about Henry's captaincy as if he hadn't been there when it had been announced. He padded his way downstairs to get a glass of water before getting to bed when he froze outside the kitchen door. He looked in through the crack of the door.

And there surrounded by her books was Claire, his strong, nonchalant, armour of steel sister, sobbing into her hands.

* * *

 **The kiddos are having a rough time. A lot of changes going on! How will Sarah and Connor handle dinner with Cornelius?**


	44. Chapter 44

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 44**

Connor drove her home on Tuesday afternoon after they had stayed late to study with Natalie and Henry for their upcoming Math test the next day. All of them were barely surviving finals, on top of having dinner with Connor's Dad on Friday.

Neither her Mom nor Jason were home when they arrived. "Do you want to come in for a little while?" She asked, not losing the opportunity to spend time with him alone.

They hadn't been able to that a lot given that all their time was mostly spent studying or with Elizabeth, if she was feeling up to it.

It was dawning on her that Connor was more stressed than usual with school and his Mom and having Cornelius around, plus, he'd told her about what had happened with Claire a few nights ago when he'd found her crying in the kitchen.

He had admitted to her to be terrified, he had never seen Claire like that, not even when she was involved with the bad crowds after high school.

"Sure, what time is your Mom coming back?"

"Uhh, six or so." Sarah said. That gave them an hour at most.

Connor would take anything he could get. He followed her into the kitchen to get something to eat as all their studying had left them hungry but they had declined going to Molly's, Sarah didn't want to give her Mom an excuse to be mad at her for not being home on time. They settled for some leftover pizza and nuzzled into the couch . "How's Jason's party coming along?"

"Oh it's good, he's even excited about it I think, mostly because he gets to spend time with James and Henry told me there'd be no problem to have milkshakes made especially for the occasion."

"Jason knows his stuff." Connor smirked. "I'm sure Katie can come up with some cool decorations for his cake. She did make mine as a kid." He smiled, of course he was going to have a Transformers themed cake.

"Mom insisted she could pay her for her troubles but I told her it was Katie's gift for Jason."

"Yes for sure." He told her. "Don't worry about it. Is there something else we can do?"

"No, thanks, it's almost all done." They remained quiet for a moment and Sarah felt Connor's eyes on her adoringly. "What?"

"I just love you so much." He told her.

Sarah smiled. "I love you too."

They talked about Jason mostly as they ate, both of them in awe of just how far he'd come in the time since they'd moved. They went into the kitchen and cleaned up and went back to the living room, hand in hand, it was good to see Connor was calm after all the ups and downs of the last few weeks.

She made the first move and leaned to kiss him. Connor smiled softly and responded eagerly.

Pretty soon they were making out on the couch. It was pretty warm outside so their clothes were thinner than usual so it made Sarah self conscious of her body, specially when she realized she'd been pushed against the couch and their bodies were closer to each other than Sarah was sure they'd ever been.

Connor was on top of her, kissing her cheek, her lips and moving down her neck like that day in the car, his hands were on her hips over her shirt, but the thin tank top had skipped up a little due to his caresses. Sarah was suddenly awaken from her daze as he glanced up and her, almost asking for permission for something, even though she wasn't sure what he was asking. But she closed her eyes at his touch and nodded.

By the time his hands brushed the skin beneath her shirt, from her side, almost up her stomach Sarah jolted, her mind finally clicking. "Wait.." she gasped, pulling away before they could go any further or having the shock of Susan opening the door at any moment and having her catching them in such position.

"Did I do something wrong?" He asked, his eyes rather panicked and pulling back.

"No." Sarah sighed, he was still high above her, eyes and lips inches from each other. "No, I just… my Mom will be home any minute.."

"Right." He said to her, sitting back up.

"I'm sorry." Sarah bit her lip, avoiding his eyes.

"Don't be, I shouldn't have…" He said, brushing the back of his neck. "I got carried away."

"It's not like I stopped you." She replied.

They remained quiet for a moment, neither of them sure on what to say. "I better go."

She walked him to the door and he kissed her goodbye, hesitantly. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I'll see you." She replied, biting her lip almost shamefully. He smiled though and brushed her cheek with his hand, reassuringly.

When her mother and Jason got home she had barley done any studying for the test the next day, all she could think about was Connor's face when she had stopped him, he looked so ashamed about his actions but it wasn't like she was innocent either, still she wasn't sure just how far she wanted to go with him yet.

Insecurities began to fill her head and Ava crept back into her mind. She wondered just how far he had gotten with her and just how ready she was to, uh, scale bases or whatever Gabby and Emily had called it.

* * *

The next morning arrived too soon for Sarah's liking, She was met by Connor as always at the elementary school building so they could walk Jason.

"I'm sorry." Sarah said once they had dropped Jason off, they walked hand in hand but hadn't kissed yet and Connor had engaged on a conversation with Jason so they wouldn't be quiet around him or he'd know something was wrong.

"No, I should be the one apologizing, but I need you to know that, I'd never do anything you weren't comfortable with."

"I know you wouldn't…" she said, stepping closer. "And it's not like I didn't like it or that I don't want us to do more than kissing." She turned tomato red at her admission.

"I want that too, but only if you are ready for it, if yesterday made you feel uncomfortable…" He said. "I'm sorry."

"No, I mean, I was the one who… I love you but I'm just not sure if I'm ready to take it any further…" Connor smiled, brushing her cheek like the day before.

"I love you too." He searched her eyes with his, pulling her face up with a finger to her chin. "We Can go as slow as you want to babe."

She nodded softly glancing up at him, kissing him. "Go our own pace?"

"Deal." He kissed her forehead softly.

Downey's test was grueling enough and Sarah couldn't fully concentrate. She kept glancing at her boyfriend and at Ava who was still in school, although she barely spoke to anyone anymore, Sarah was pretty sure she had experienced some taunting herself over her situation even though she wasn't sure just how many people knew about it.

Still, to Sarah she would always be Ava Bekker, the girl who'd bullied her and Connor's ex. And the one person his father had always wanted him to end up with.

She prayed to have done well in the test as she glanced over at Henry, Natalie and the others, who looked as exhausted as her.

"I can hear your mind going." Connor commented as they left the classroom after reassuring Henry he'd done great. "I'm sure you did great Sarah."

She nodded. "And you? What are you thinking about?"

He shrugged. "Tonight."

Ah, dinner with Cornelius. She was too but wouldn't say it aloud.

"It will be okay." Sarah assured him, and herself, taking his hand.

"Claire offered to be there too." Connor said to her. "She and my Dad seem to, I don't know come to some kind of understanding…"

He rolled his eyes. "I'm not sure I can be that forgiving though."

Sarah smiled softly. "Well, you can take all the time you need."

He grinned back and brushed her cheek. "You always know what to say, don't you?"

"I try." She admitted with a smile.

They had reached the elementary school. Jason came out with Mary a moment later. "Sarah, are your friends still coming to my party?" He asked. "Mom said I had to tell her today who was coming."

"Of course, Emily and Monique."

"And Will and Jay." Jason said. "I asked Jay yesterday at the bus."

"Them too, for sure and Danny." Jason nodded as Connor added the the rest of the list. A few more kids from his class and Lily Manning.

"Okay." Jason said.

James had now parked and was waiting for them, Mary said her goodbyes and Connor walked them over. "I'll pick you up at 6?" He kissed her cheek and opened the door for Jason to get in. Sarah nodded, turning back at Connor. "I love you." He told her.

"Love you too." She said softly, glancing back at James and Jason who was already inside the car. "Hey Connor?" He had already turned back on his heels. "Tonight will be okay, I promise."

He wished he was as confident as her, sighing, he headed to his car and stayed there for a moment, getting mentally ready to head home.

Connor had picked her up at 6 sharp, her grandmother was spending a few weeks with them as she'd be staying for Jason's party. It seemed she was there for the most important moments in Sarah's relationship with Connor.

She had admitted to her to be nervous but not wanting to show it to Connor just how much because she'd make it worse for him.

"You look beautiful." He told her once they were alone in the car, Sarah had opted for a summer Navy dress with leggings and flats and she'd let her hair down. Connor was wearing a short sleeve polo shirt and dark pants.

He'd just recently trimmed his hair, he looked so handsome and boyish but also held a dark gaze of worry. "Are you ready for this?" He asked once they stood by the door of the house after their almost quiet ride.

"If you are." She offered. He smiled, taking her hand and leading her inside.

"You are here." He said, like he was assuring himself she wasn't going to bolt, even though he wished he didn't have to put her through dealing with his Dad. "I think I'll be okay."

* * *

So Sarah sat there, facing Cornelius Rhodes, he looked the same as he had the day of the baby shower. He was at the head of the table, with Elizabeth and Claire on either side of him. "So, Ms. Reese..."

"Dad, I'm sure if would be okay if you just called her Sarah, she's not doing an interview," Claire tried, offering her a reassuring smile.

Sarah tried to focus on her food as she could feel Connor tensing up beside her. "You are a sophomore?"

"Yes sir, I am." Sarah replied. "I'm actually taking extra classes for the summer." Cornelius stared at her.

"So you are very interested in your education. Have you thought on what you want to do once you graduate?"

"No, not really, well…" She hesitated, not sure if she wanted anyone but Connor to know this next piece of information. "I'd like to be a teacher actually." Elizabeth and Claire looked at each other.

"Oh, Sarah honey, that's wonderful."

"We all know that you are amazing, the way you helped Henry study…" Claire regretted to mention his name because Cornelius's breath caught up in his throat at the mention of anything Hermann related.

"I see, and you have a brother who has special needs?" Connor waited on baited breath for his father to make some kind of remark about Jason, but it didn't come. "Is that a reason you'd want to be a teacher?"

"Yes, actually it is." Sarah let out a small smile. "Jason, he's on the spectrum and he's been diagnosed but most people don't know how to manage their education, at times actually people stop taking them to school because they think they can't handle it, but the truth is, I've done some reading, and most people just don't know how to steer their potential." Sarah held her ground in front of the all mighty Cornelius Rhodes but he merely blinked. Connor was in awe, he was sure his Mom had had something to do with his all cordial behavior, and maybe Henry had been right too. Maybe Sarah could get through his father just fine.

"I see." He spoke finally.

"Connor is actually amazing with Jason." Sarah continued. "That's not an easy thing to do but, I don't know they just, understand each other."

"Jason is the one who is amazing, I'm just along for the ride." Connor countered, almost forgetting his father was watching them. "And Sarah actually got an offer to go to Texas for the summer."

"I'm just applying." She felt herself blushing. "It's not an actual thing yet."

"Seems like you are an altogether young woman." Cornelius commented. "And your mother?"

"She's a lawyer sir." Sarah replied.

"And your father?"

"He, uh, I haven't seen him since I was six, he and my Mom divorced, but my stepdad is around for my brother." Sarah said. Cornelius watched her and then sent a look Connor's way. "I do hope you join us some other time Sarah."

Connor held his breath. "I'm going to go to my office and take on a call." His father said, they weren't even through dessert but no one insisted he'd stay.

Connor would call this a victory.

He shot another glance Sarah's way, "Good night." kissed Elizabeth's cheek and sent a nod his kid's way.

"Did someone give him a chill pill?" Claire said once he was gone and they heard the door to his office close. "Mom?"

"I might have talked to him about how wonderful Sarah was." Elizabeth commented. "And told him how important this was to Connor."

"Since when has he cared?" Connor replied, still in disbelief.

"Connor honey, you have to give him a chance." His mother answered. "It was his idea to have Sarah over."

"What?"

"Yes, what you heard. I've been telling him about it her and he wanted to meet her. There just hadn't been an opportunity with him traveling so much." She suddenly looked exhausted. "Will you be alright without me? I'm a little tired."

"Of course Mom." Connor called for Katie, who smiled at Sarah just as reasuringly as she'd done when she had arrived. I'll drive Sarah home and come up in a little while to say goodnight?"

"Good." Elizabeth nodded tiredly. "Oh and Sarah honey, you have to tell me all about that Texas summer application." She shot her son a knowing look. Knowing herself what it was like to deal with long distance relationships.

Sarah nodded, hugging her. "Good night."

"Thank you for coming tonight." She countered quietly for only Sarah to hear.

"So, that was… weird, I don't think my Dad has approved of any of my boyfriends." Claire mused aloud."Ever."

"He, uh, approves?" Sarah echoed. Claire smiled.

"Trust me, that's as close as you might get."

Connor sighed, Katie had come back down to the dining room. "You all seem to need some ice cream."

She winked at them and left for the kitchen.

"Take the victory Connor." Claire told him, she could clearly see he was still grasping that they hadn't been any yelling or distasteful comments on his father's part. "I'm going to go to my room." Claire announced. "You two play nice, huh?"

Sarah turned a little red and Connor rolled his eyes as Claire left the room with her gracious walk.

"Why don't I take that over the living room?" Katie offered. Connor nodded and guided Sarah over to where the piano stood tall. He grazed it with his fingers as he went and Katie offered him a smile as she left a tray with two bowls of chocolate ice cream.

"Are you okay?" Sarah asked, standing beside him.

"Fine, I just… that is not the way I thought tonight was going to play out." He admitted.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"No, it's just, there's always something else going on with my Dad, Sarah, this can't be all there is, I'm sure he's making this inquiry about your Mom or Dad or…"

"Connor, breathe." She stepped closer. "It's over." She said grabbing him by the arms and holding close on the waist. He leaned his forehead against hers.

"Thank you for coming tonight."

"Of course." She replied. They took a seat on the couch and ate their ice cream. "Oh wait, let me get that…" Connor reached for her face and traced a finger to her lip, Sarah holding her breath. He kissed her softly. She tasted like chocolate.

Sarah really didn't want the night to be over, it had certainly gone differently than they expected but it had been good all the same. Connor stood up pulling her with him. She could see he was still worried.

He took a seat by the piano bench, his hand tracing the lid. Sarah sat beside him. "Will you play me something?"

Connor felt himself blush slightly but then turned to her with a grin. "Any requests?"

"How about our song?"

Connor smiled again. "Only if you sing it with me?"

"I'm not good at…"

"Are you kidding? You don't give yourself enough credit babe," Connor cut her off quickly. "Please?"

"I like when you call me that." Sarah admitted shyly. "Okay but if I suck.."

"You won't." He said kissing her softly.

She nodded as she watched his fingers skillfully play the melody that made her heart flutter, the song that held so much meaning not just their love for musical theatre or their relationship, especially now, with Joey and Ava behind them, it was really just them, ready to face it all, the end of the school year and Sarah leaving for the summer, Cornelius and Elizabeth.

* * *

Claire fidgeted with her phone as she made her way upstairs to say goodnight to Elizabeth later.

Mom?" Claire said, taking a seat beside her. "Where's Dad?"

"Still on his call." Elizabeth smiled.

"What did you say to him Mom, I mean, he, uh, behaved."

Elizabeth nodded. "Yes, your father and I have come to an understanding regarding you kids for when I'm gone."

Claire's heart dropped. "Mom…"

"No, honey, he's the one who's going to stay. I need to be okay with him too, before it's too late, despite everything, I love him, he's your Dad and he gave me the greatest gifts you and your, brothers." She hesitated, as if she wasn't sure Michael had actually existed. "And for that, he'll always be important to me."

Claire felt tears down her face. "Don't cry sweetheart." Elizabeth turned to reach for her child's face. "It will be okay, I promise."

"How will it be okay Mom? You won't be here… what about Connor? I can't take care of him."

"He has you and Sarah…" Elizabeth replied with a small smile. "He will need to grow up, even more than he already has because of me being sick. Choose his path."

"Do you think Dad will let him? I mean, if it was up to him he'd be shipping Connor to business school as soon as he's done with high school." Claire took out her phone. "But…" She leaned over so her mother could watch the screen. "Does this look like a kid who wants that life?" Elizabeth watched the video that Claire had clearly taken of Connor and Sarah at the piano without them realizing earlier. Elizabeth had heard them, a sudden feel of sadness filling her, her baby boy wouldn't sing to her anymore.

"Claire." A voice spoke behind them. "May I have a minute with your Mother alone." The girl nodded, shoving her phone away and kissing her mother goodnight as she eyed her father.

"That Reese girl…" Cornelius began. "Really cares about him, doesn't she?"

"She does." Elizabeth said. "Even though it might not be forever but for now, yeah she makes him so happy."

Cornelius nodded. "She seems like a grounded enough girl."

"She is, so responsible and sweet, she honestly had to grow up too fast to care for her brother and I've met her mother. She's headstrong like Sarah." Elizabeth's tone hardened a bit, not taking her eyes off her husband.

"She might not be the person you pictured Connor being with…" As she spoke her blue eyes shined in the dim light. "But Sarah is who he chose."

Her husband nodded, falling silent. Letting be for the time being. "Thomas Bekker will be gone by the end of summer." Cornelius put in. "He might be put in jail if he doesn't leave the US."

"Will you be involved in someway?"

"Not directly, no." He replied. "But I have to be careful for a while. Fix up some things so it doesn't come back to us in anyway."

Elizabeth nodded. "How long?"

"Honestly?" He sighed. "I don't know, could be a month or more." He saw Elizabeth's face fall. "I came back so I could…."

"Say goodbye."

"Prepare myself to do so, yes." He admitted. His tone softening. "Beth, I am, sorry. For what it's worth."

"I am sorry too." She replied. "I wish things could have been different between us."

Claire felt herself almost collapse by the side of the door, she moved to her room before her father came out, locking it before trying to process what she had just heard.

* * *

"Wow things went that well?" Emily asked as they made their way to Molly's the following evening for the hockey team get together before their final the next day.

"Yeah, I mean Connor wasn't expecting it either but…" Sarah shrugged with a smile as she adjusted Connor's jersey on herself. She usually only wore it for games but she figured the team could use all the support they could get tonight.

"My Sarah Reese, winning over Cornelius Rhodes…"

"I mean I wouldn't call it winning him over but…"

"That's it. I'm going to have to rent out my pearls, you'll be having your huge society wedding next." Emily grinned as they turned the corner and were met by two giant billboard esque size screens on both sides of the door to their diner.

"Go Gaffney Penguins." read one screen while the other was a flashing picture of the team.

They made their way inside to what Henry had told them was going to be a small team get together but the entire place was packed. The hockey team, plenty of kids from school, teachers and what Sarah assumed looked like all the team's parents.

"Hey guys." Henry called as he emerged from the crowd to greet them at the door.

"Hi Henry...what happened here?" Emily called over the noise, looking around because the two girls had thought Herrmann had been a big fan before. But the inside of Molly's now looked like a certified museum to the Gaffey hockey team. There were streamers everywhere, pictures and biographies of each team member replaced the usual diner pictures and it seemed like everything had an ice hockey theme.

"Yeah it was meant to be a small team get together….but you know how Dad gets and the team hasn't made the final in years so he got a little excited…and there's the whole me being captain next year so..."

"Yeah he got a little excited alright." Emily laughed.

"Well I think I saw Connor and Jay over by the counter but then I got intercepted by my siblings who think it's great fun to try and reenact the team plays in the middle of the floor so they could be anywhere. Right now I have to try and curb Dad's speech that he wrote...it's 20 pages long, front and back right now." He laughed before disappearing into the crowd.

"You know if they win I'll be seriously worried that Herrmann is going to have a heart attack." Emily pointed out as they drifted through the crowd. After bumping into half the hockey team, the Mannings and Ethan and Noah, they finally found their friends in a booth near the windows.

"Quite the team get together eh?" Emily grinned.

"I'll say, at this rate he'll give us each a share in Molly's if we win tomorrow." Will laughed as they pulled more chairs over to sit down.

"So how's our favourite members of the team feeling hey?" Emily asked.

"Everything is just great." Jay deadpanned with a sour expression.

Emily cringed, "Sorry Jay I forgot."

"Yeah just like she forgot about me." He retorted, taking a drink of his soda.

The news had slowly trickled through in the last week. Erin had left a few weeks ago but Jay had remained optimistic, mostly at Emily's insistence and they seemed to be making things work.

But Will had come home and found Jay having an impromptu bonfire out the back of their house, throwing pictures of Erin in it.

It took Emily coming over for him to admit that Erin had broken up with him. Telling him she loved him but she needed to move on and live her life.

Sarah had only heard last night when Emily text her the news.

It wasn't a great build up for the game the next day.

"How are things going for the game tomorrow?" Sarah asked, trying to change the subject.

They all looked rather pale which was unexpected.

"We'll be fine…" Will said but came as more of a question.

"It's just the first final that Gaffney has got to in like ten years." Connor cringed. Apparently his fears over his Dad had just shifted to the game.

Natalie appeared beside them, "Move and let me sit." She demanded with a slightly desperate tone to her voice. Connor and Will both jumped up and let her in. "Helen and my Mom thought this would be a perfect time to graphically compare their labours." Natalie made a face. "What's up? Give me anything to think about besides that."

"The boys are nervous about their game tomorrow." Emily supplied.

Natalie scoffed, "Puh-lease, I'm nervous about giving birth in a few weeks, you guys are playing a game that you love. Get over it."

Nina who had been sat beside Will and now beside Natalie, didn't look as comfortable.

"Sarah! Sarah! My Mom said I'm going to your house for Jason's birthday!" Lily Manning appeared in an oversized jersey, wielding a hockey stick around in her excitement.

"Oh good, you got the invite, he'll be really glad you can come over." Sarah smiled at the little girl who smiled widely but somehow seemed shy, upon seeing Connor. It was only then that Sarah saw the homemade numbers that it looked like she had stapled onto the jersey, Connor's number.

"Hey, looks like I've just found my two number one fans?" Connor beamed at Lily, having suddenly appeared beside Sarah.

"Olivia helped me make it, do you like it?"

"I love it Lills, are you wearing it for the game tomorrow?"

Lily nodded, backing her way way into the crowd just as Herrmann was calling everyone to be quiet for his speech.

Natalie winced and Sarah caught a glimpse of Will appearing at her side, with his hand resting gently on her shoulder. She shook her head, offering a reassuring smile but neither saw the unreadable expression on Nina's face.

Henry had talked Cindy into handing out food as his Dad went on to describe the entire season's worth of games in great detail.

His wife managed to persuade him to stop his speech after about twenty minutes, after which a team picture was taken.

The crowd dispersed about an hour later when Herrmann declared that the team needed rest. Emily went home with her brother so Connor wrapped his arm around Sarah and they went to his car for him to drive her home.

"You should wear that jersey more often." He noted as he opened the door for her.

"It's comfy." She agreed as he hopped into the driver's seat.

"And you look great in it." He said and she felt herself blush.

He leaned over to kiss her, "And you look even better when I can make you blush." He grinned against her lips as she reached up to run her hand through his hair before they jumped at a knock at the window.

Connor wound down the window that Chris had appeared in. "None of that tonight kids, Connor you need to get home and sleep, big game tomorrow." He reminded him as he could have forgotten.

As they pulled out onto the road all the two could do was laugh at the embarrassment. "It's a good thing Henry doesn't have a girlfriend." Connor said.

But Sarah had noticed that Claire wasn't at the get together that evening. And how Henry had kept one eye on the door at all times.

* * *

 **Soooo... Sarah Reese can keep her ground with Cornelius Rhodes! Hope you liked this one...:)**


	45. Chapter 45

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 45**

"Henry! It's time to go, c'mon!" His Dad called _again_ as Henry looked at himself in the mirror of the bathroom, trying to tell himself that he could get through this game, trying to tell himself that he could be captain the next time he took the ice.

He looked at his phone, dozens of messages from people at school through his social media had come through wishing him good luck. He _knew_ he was sort of popular and could probably get a girlfriend in a heartbeat but it didn't mean anything when he was hung up on his best friend's sister.

He shook his head. Having nerves was better than torturing himself over Claire.

He stopped in his room to grab his bag and made his way down the stairs where his Dad was already video recording the entire day, lining his little brothers and sisters up to cheer at him

They all wore his number on their homemade jerseys and held signs that read ' _My brother's the next captain'._

Even when times were tough, business was slow, money was tight and he was drowning at school, he had his family. He didn't know what he'd do without them.

" _Dad?" Henry called as he came home after practice._

" _He's just in the living room Henry." His Mom said as she passed him by with a basket of laundry in her hands._

 _He walked into the living room to find his Dad pouring over Molly's paperwork. "Hey Dad, you have a second?"_

" _Yeah, what's up kid?" His Dad asked, looking up and putting his pen down. Whoever thought running a diner was easy, was delusional. His Dad was one of the most hardworking people he knew._

" _Eh...so about the hockey team…" Henry started._

" _Going great eh? State championship next huh?" His Dad smiled._

" _Yeah. and they, eh, they named the new senior captain for the next season." Henry said, nearly tripping over his words, "And they picked me."_

" _Are you serious!" Henry beamed as his Dad jumped up and pulled his son in for a tight hug. "Son….this is….wow….captain!" He held Henry by the shoulders and pretty much started crying. "It's all that hard work paying off."_

" _Are you happy Dad?" He asked in a quiet voice._

" _Am I happy?" His Dad faltered. "Son, sit down."_

 _He sat down with Henry on the sofa, with his hand on his shoulder, "Henry, I_ never _want you to misunderstand this. I love you and I love hockey, in that order kid. Do I love you playing? Heck yeah, makes me proud seeing you out there. But Henry I never want you to feel like you have to play because of me. I know I get a little excited and carried away but it's just because I'm proud. I want you to play because you love it. Not because of me."_

" _I do love it Dad, it's something I'm good at. Something I can do and not be predictable nice guy. I love the strategy and I love having you guys love it too. I know I complain about it sometimes but I do appreciate the support Dad."_

* * *

If Sarah had thought normal hockey games were exciting, the state championship was on a completely different level. Held at the biggest ice rink stadium in the city, she didn't blame the boys for being nervous.

She was sure her heart nearly burst with pride when they skated out onto the ice. Will. Jay. Henry. And then Connor.

Antonio called them into what Sarah assumed would be his last huddle.

"He's going to miss this so much." Gabby noted.

"What is he planning on doing next year? Wasn't there some college recruiters with interest?" Emily asked.

"Yeah and he loves it but he has his heart set on becoming a cop so I think he's happy taking a job helping to coach the team for a few years here." Gabby said and Sarah listened just to have something to do that wasn't worry about Connor and his knee.

She caught him looking over, even with the huge space and crowd, he still managed to spot her pretty easily and shot a charming smile her way, Antonio caught his attention though and the game began after one of the announcers of the game called on Henry being new captain for the team and his friends cheered from the ice as they did in the bleachers, the announcer also commented that Chris had played back in the day and that his son would go places on the sport if he carried out with it professionally.

Sarah caught a sight of Henry beside Connor, blushing beneath his gear as the crowd cheered, his family's excitement clearly standing out from the rest.

Natalie was missing it though, much to her dismay so Nate was recording the whole thing as he'd come to support Henry with his Dad and sisters.

Sarah knew she felt torn about it, but her Mom had insisted she didn't need the pressure of worrying over the game.

They of course didn't want her to go into labor early.

The game went on, it was grueling, Sarah didn't miss a beat on Connor's every move, he scored and she cheered, then Henry and Jay and Will. All of them were on a roll, it was a real opportunity for the team to beat on the current champions and prove themselves after almost a decade of being on the sidelines.

Sarah breathed as the game began to wind down and the quarters advanced, but just as it was about to end, she watched as Connor skated gracefully, keeping his eyes focus on the puck. On the game and his team.

Then everything happened too quickly.

There was a gasp from the crowd as everyone looked terrified as Connor sank down on the ice.

Sarah froze momentarily and then saw him roll on his back and she was already on her feet, timeout was called as the team huddled around Connor. Emily glanced at her friend and then at Claire who was already climbing down, she imitated her.

"Connor?" It was Henry. "Can you hear me?"

He tried to come back to his senses, he'd practically nailed his knee down on the ice as he tried to evade another player to no avail. The pain was searing.

"Don't move him." Antonio called on the boys. Will looked over at Jay and back at the blue eyed boy.

"Connor, what hurts?" Coach Otis asked crouching down.

Connor only winced in pain, reaching for his knee as the medics got into the ice. "Just put me on the bench…" He called to Antonio. "Please."

"Connor, we need to get you checked out man." Antonio said.

"No, you have to finish the game, you have to win…"

"Are you sure?" Coach Otis crouched down to Connor's level. He nodded. "This game is way too important."

"C…"

"I'm fine Henry." Connor repeated as they huddled him into a stretcher. "At least I got a taste at it. We only have a few minutes left." He gave him a half smile, glancing at the rest of the team. "Give them hell huh?" Jay and Will looked at each other again and then at the crowd searching for Sarah who was nowhere in sight. Their other friends looked worried though.

Henry followed the stretcher out as they carried Connor, Coach Otis turned around to call on the refere as the medics helped Connor over to the bench with a pack of ice on his knee, Sarah and Claire had already reached the bottom and were trying to get through.

"I'm fine." He said to them, more pissed than anything else from his stupidity, but the truth was that his knee had faltered and he hadn't been able to recover as quickly as other times. He felt Sarah's arms around his neck, pulling him close. "Sarah, it's alright." He offered her a smile, but Sarah merely stared at him, she could see him struggling to sit up straight and there was sweat on his brow, he wasn't alright.

But she didn't want to give herself out, she didn't want to show him how worried she was for him everytime he played, it was something that he loved and she'd never wanted her to be the reason for him to stop but she couldn't help it. "I saw you fall… you are not okay Connor, we need to take you see a doctor."

"Babe, hey..It's okay." He spoke, leaning closer to her cheek, which he brushed with his cold thumb.

"Connor…"

"Sarah." Connor said imitating her. "I can hear that little head of yours playing every worst possible scenario."

"I'm not…" She responded back, but her words were caught in her throat as he kissed her, not caring who might be watching. He nudged on her nose reassuringly and she gave him a small smile. "See? I feel better already, that's all I need."

Sarah was about to respond when Hermann appeared beside them. "You okay kiddo?" He offered with a hand to his shoulder.

"I am, really Chris you get back up there, view is better anyway. Henry needs you."

Chris smiled, kneeling to Connor's level at the bench and glancing at the girls. "Alright, you take care of him and I'll be back?"

The game started back up as Connor tried to fight the sharp pain on his knee once the adrenaline had started to wind down.

He tried to follow the game the best he could, as Sarah leaned her head on his shoulder and took his hand in hers.

"Are you sure, you're okay?" Claire asked him softly later, taking his other side on the bench as both of them helped him out of his gear and he put on a hoodie carefully as he held the pack of ice on his knee.

"Yeah, it wasn't that bad."

"You're not very good at lying little brother." Claire almost whispered to him, nudging on his side softly. Thankfully Sarah hadn't heard them.

* * *

The Gaffney Penguins had won. Jay scoring the last goal. That would give him a boost of confidence after the week he'd had. Connor watched as the crowd went crazy and the team huddled with Antonio in celebration, the rest of the guys on the bench headed into the rink, Henry then turned to his best friend, skating his way to the side. "Congrats Cap." Connor beamed at him.

"Henry, come on!" Jay called as they were handed the cup, everyone lifted Jay up in the air and cheered on them.

Connor couldn't help but feel a rush of mixed feelings but in truth, he couldn't be more proud of his team.

"Alright kid, let's get that knee checked out." Coach Otis called on the paramedics who were on standby.

"He needs to go to the hospital sir." One of the kids said, he couldn't be older than Claire.

"No, wait…. I don't, I don't have to go." Connor huffed.

"I'll call Mom…"

"Claire, don't, I don't want her to worry."

"She is going to worry, I need to let her know where we're going."

"I don't have to go to the hospital, really." He insisted. The last thing he wanted was to be admitted in and having to miss Jason's party.

"Connor." Sarah called for him in all the madness of the medics and his teammates. "Let them do their job, please."

"Fine, but I'm not going to the hospital." Connor said firmly and then turned to his sister. Sarah shared a glance with Claire just as the team headed for the locker rooms. "You okay man?" Will and Henry stopped over to check on him again.

"Henry, can you drive his car home? I'm not sure he can drive like this." Chris told him.

"We can help too." Will offered. "I'll take Sarah home."

"You don't have to…"

"Thanks Will." Sarah interjected and Connor sighed. He was too tired and too annoyed to argue.

"No problem." He replied. "Will you be okay?"

Sarah looked between the two boys. "Yeah, thanks Halstead."

"We're all set up for Molly's later, huh Cap?" One of the guys asked from the other side on the way to the lockers. Henry turned to Connor.

"Go have fun Henry, you deserve it, all you guys do."

"It won't be a celebration without you C, not really."

"We can do something later with Nat. She'll kill us if we don't before the baby is born." Connor smiled weakly as Henry helped him up to his feet, grabbing on his shoulder with Will on the other side so he could get to the car, with Claire and Sarah trailing behind him, thankfully Claire had come with Earl. "Easy, easy." Hermann called from behind the kids. "Don't you dare scare me like that. Ever, again, you hear?" His godfather said as they stopped and Earl opened the door for him to get in.

"It's nothing." Connor smiled, then turned to Henry. "I'll be fine Hermann."

"How is it doing?" Henry asked helping him sit down on the back seat.

"Okay, I'm sure I just need to sleep it off." Connor said, Sarah, in the meantime was in the midst of all their friends a further behind the car.

"Are you sure he's okay?" Monique asked.

"Well, boys and their sports, he's not really going to tell her." Emily huffed. "It's a sports thing."

"No, it's more like a Connor thing." Sarah said, moving over to reach her boyfriend.

"Hey, I don't look so bad, do I?" Connor attempted as a joke but Sarah's face of worry didn't change. "Sarah, I promise you, it's not a big deal okay? Don't worry, I'll see you at the party?" She nodded as he took her hand. "I'll check on you later?" He said. "I love you."

Sarah leaned to wrap his arms around him, careful not to crush him. "You promise to tell me if you are not feeling up for tomorrow?" He sighed.

"Promise."

Sarah kissed his cheek and allowed Earl to close the door, her gaze not leaving the car until it disappeared.

* * *

Connor made his way up to his room with the help of Earl and Claire with Katie following close behind, trying to quietly get to his bed and not alert his Mom. He had put on a brave face for Sarah and Claire but as soon as he lay down and Katie adjusted a pillow under his leg after everyone else had left, he finally let his guard down.

His knee felt like it was on fire and had been stabbed repeatedly, all at once.

He groaned in pain and dug his fingernails into the sheets on his bed.

The pain was almost unbearable. But he couldn't cause hassle, not when his Mom had enough on her plate.

Katie came back with some painkillers but he was now practically panting in pain. "Connor, I think that needs more than an ice pack, it needs a doctor." She said before she called Kelly in to take a look.

She rolled Connor's pants leg up and checked for swelling and redness. It checked all the boxes.

"Okay, that has swelled far too much…" Kelly thought aloud, "Come on, let's get you up and see if you can put weight on it…"

The two women both helped Connor up who was now close to tears and as soon as they let go and allowed him to put his foot to the ground, almost crumpled to the floor.

His knee couldn't take his own weight anymore.

"I'll get your Mom, we need to get you to the hospital." Kelly said as they got him back onto his bed.

"No. Kelly, please, I'm begging you. Don't. Please." He let out through his clenched teeth.

"Well someone is going to have to take you Connor, you're still only sixteen."

Connor turned to his sister. Claire was 19, she was technically considered an adult but she looked so worried for him already, he didn't want her to deal with it alone.

She would have to eventually, once their Mom was gone but for now...

It nearly broke him but it was the only option left. "Call my Dad, he's at the store today right? Get him to meet us at the hospital and he can sign whatever it's needed. Claire can come with me and he can leave. Just like he always does."

And just like that he was back in the car with Earl and a furious Claire who kept mumbling things about her 'idiot brother' and 'suffering in silence' as they kept trying to get through to his Dad.

They made their way into the ED but couldn't get any further than the waiting room without Cornelius' permission.

The wait was torturous. Literally.

His Dad took an hour to arrive and looked severely ticked off.

"You called me out of work for your knee? You were having therapy for that Connor, you shouldn't need the hospital." He said as he approached but then he took one look at his son and paled ever so slightly. A switch flipped. "Where the hell are the doctors? I donate a hell of a lot of money to this hospital, they should be treating you already."

"They can't without your permission Dad." Claire stood up and shoved the clipboard with the paperwork on it at his chest.

It was the first time Connor had seen his Dad almost look small. He took a seat and started filling out the forms. He cleared his throat, "Allergies?" He said, before Connor realised he was asking if him.

Claire scoffed, her arms crossed, "Mom has our files memorised you know." She pointed out, "And no he doesn't, but he had a slight reaction to shellfish once so Mom never lets him have any anymore."

Cornelius didn't comment but continued writing and Connor felt like time was crawling by as his knee felt like it was locking up.

"You've had no other procedures in the last year?"

"He did." Claire spoke up. Back before she came home, Connor thought. "For his knee, he had a scan and some kind of immobilization, right?"

Connor nodded.

"Well what was it?" His Dad asked.

"I don't know." Connor shrugged. He didn't really pay attention, he was worried about the stress on his Mom.

"Chris will know, he was there." Claire said."I'll call him."

"Excuse me?" Cornelius all but snarled.

"Well Connor doesn't want to bother Mom and you haven't exactly won Dad of the Year have you?" Claire said, with acid in her voice. "Get over whatever the hell is your problem so we can ask Chris, he'll know all the details. _Connor is in pain_." Her voice shook but Connor wasn't sure if it was from anger or fear.

Cornelius set his jaw, cursing under his breath, glanced at Connor who was now sweating with pain and got up, putting his phone to his ear. "I'll do it." He barked and turned away.

"It'll be okay." Claire tried to comfort him, sitting closer. "Can I do anything? Get you anything?"

"No, it's fine." Connor said, sighing. "Thanks for being here Claire."

"Well, I wasn't going to leave you alone with Dad." She offered, he gave her a small smile.

* * *

Cornelius came back with a blank expression as he filled in the rest of the form and gave it to the nurse in charge. Connor was brought in to a treatment room soon after.

"Alright, let's see here?" A doctor came in with a tablet in his hand, "Connor? A knock has fired up an old injury huh?"

"Yes sir." His Dad and sister waited by his bed as the doctor carried out his examination.

"Well, what's wrong with it?" His Dad barked out.

But Connor got the feeling that the doctor got a lot of overbearing parents because he didn't even blink at Cornelius' snarky tone of voice.

"We'll have to have an x-ray just to rule out a few things but I also want to run an MRI scan."

"Do whatever you have to, money is not an issue."

The doctor didn't respond but instead turned to Connor, "I think it could be a torn meniscus, a piece of cartilage in your knee joint, according to your last scan, it was worn but i think this may have severed it."

"Do I need surgery?" Connor asked, he needed to be at Jason's party.

"You may." the doctor nodded, "But you're lucky, the procedure is an arthroscopy and it's limited invasiveness and in children is very small. If it comes to that, I'll book you in for the operation and you could be discharged tomorrow morning at most."

So he could technically still make it to Jason's party, Connor breathed a sigh of relief.

"Do you have any questions?" The doctor asked. When none of the Rhodes' spoke he nodded, "Okay, we'll get you those scans, sit tight."

"Are you sure you don't want to call Mom?" Claire asked quietly after Cornelius had gone outside to take a call as they were waiting for the team to bring him upstairs to set up.

"No." Connor remained adamant, "You heard the doctor."

"You'll have to spend the night Connor, is not like she isn't going to notice."

"Fine, but not until we know what's going on." Connor huffed defeated.

"Okay…" Claire agreed, "I'll tell Dad."

Connor laid his head back on his pillow in pain.

* * *

"They'll like these decorations, right?" Jason asked as Sarah helped him colour more pictures that they were going to hang as bunting for the next day. Juliet was cooking up a storm of cookies and their Mom was out buying paper cups and plates.

"I'm sure they'll love them." Sarah assured him. She looked at him while he returned to his colouring, very nearly crying at her beautiful brother who had come so far. So far from the boy who didn't want to get on a bus to a boy throwing his own party.

"Don't they look lovely?" Juliet said, looking over their shoulders.

"Can I have a cookie tonight Grandma?" Jason asked with hopeful eyes.

"I think I can let the birthday boy have a treat." She winked at him leading him to the kitchen. Sarah took the chance to check her phone again. Still no word back form Connor.

She had rang two times and left a half dozen messages and she had gone past worried for an hour now. Henry hadn't heard anything and Emily kept asking her if there was any news. She tried to tell herself that he had probably fallen asleep.

But the thought kept pulling at her head.

He knew she'd be worried wouldn't he? So he'd call or text if he was okay.

He'd think of her.

He'd promised to let her know.

So what if he wasn't okay?

"Mary said her daughters can come too." Jason told Sarah as they hung the bunting on the wall over the kitchen table.

"Oh really? That's great." Mary had been working to try and let Jason adjust to not having everything being as used to changing his routine, specially for for his birthday and it had seemed to have worked, because he was agreeing to have more people over. It had come to a surprise to them all, honestly.

But Sarah was still wondering if Connor would be okay for it? It would definitely set Jason off if he wasn't there.

 _Hey Reese, any update on Rhodes?_ Will texted her. Sarah chewed her lip. If it was time for Will Halstead to be worrying then she should be too.

She didn't want to call his house in case it would bother Elizabeth so she sent Claire a message.

 _Hi Claire, I haven't heard anything from Connor, how's he doing?_

Claire glanced at her phone when it beeped. It was Sarah.

Claire winced, she was pretty sure they had rushed Connor out the door too fast to worry about his phone. Sarah must be worried sick.

But Claire had been distracted.

While Connor was having his scans, Chris had turned up. And suddenly she was a referee.

Her Dad demanded he leave, he had no business there but Chris remained adamant he wanted to wait. And Claire couldn't help but admit that she was glad he was here, he was a more reassuring presence than her Dad. Her Dad had only talked business with her while she was biting her nails as Connor was taken up for his scans.

She was afraid of it turning into an argument, that her Dad might say something to push Chris' buttons or that Chris might throw knowing Connor's medical history back in her Dad's face, but they both remained silent while she sat between them.

She was getting horrible ideas that this was what her life would be from now on. No Mom. only her and Connor. Without knowing if they could rely on their Dad and knowing they couldn't rely on Herrmann and their friends as much as they wanted.

She was pondering what to text the girl back when the doctor reappeared. "Mr Rhodes?" Cornelius stood up, complaining about the hospitals lack of urgency as Chris gave Claire a side hug and told her that Connor would be fine.

"The MRI has proved that your son has a torn meniscus, if we have your permission I can send him for the arthroscopy. As your son is fit and healthy, we can get away with a regional anesthetic which will reduce his recovery time as he seems quite nervous about how soon he can go home. All going well, he'll be discharged tomorrow morning."

"Yes, yes, do whatever you need to do." Cornelius dismissed the doctor and went to pick up his jacket.

"Where are you going?" Claire asked, only she didn't mean for her voice to be so panicked and high pitched.

"Connor's having surgery Claire, there's nothing I can do here, I have business to take care of, I'll just be outside." He said as he sent Chris a glare.

 _But outside was too far. When would he ever understand that she needed her Dad?_

* * *

"Have you eaten anything? Connor will be in there for a while, they'll come get us when he's ready for visitors, why don't we go and find some food kiddo?" Chris asked.

"Okay. I just have to make a call…"

"Hello? Claire?" Sarah practically jumped over the sofa to get to her ringing phone.

"Hi Sarah. Is this a good time?"

"Yes." Sarah composed herself, "Is Connor okay?"

Claire sighed and Sarah felt like her heart constricted at the sound.

"He will be. I'm so sorry I didn't get in touch. It all happened so quick." Claire said. "We're at the hospital. He's torn something in his knee and was in so much pain he wasn't thinking straight, or he would have called. He's going for some small surgery now but he should be out tomorrow morning."

Sarah had to sit down.

 _He was in the hospital_? She glanced down at her phone, her heart racing. It was past 7 and Jason would be going to bed soon, she could ask her Mom to drive her over and Juliet could stay with him.

To her surprise, Susan had agreed without much insistence on her part. "Claire just texted me, he's out of surgery." Sarah told her Mom as they parked outside the hospital. Susan shot a glance her way, comfortingly getting out of the car and following Sarah inside.

"Excuse me." Susan called on a nurse who was looking down on some paperwork.

"Sarah?" It was Hermann, he hurried over their way and smiled at the nurse.

"Claire told me he's out of surgery." Sarah said to Chris anxiously.

"Yes, they're moving him to a room soon, I just came down to get some coffee."

"Hey Dad, how is he?" Henry came in the doorway after Sarah, looking flustered.

"Hey kid, I was just telling Sarah and her Mom, he's just out of surgery." Herrmann said before turning to Sarah, "Aren't you meant to be getting ready for Jason's party?"

"Yeah, but when Claire told me he was here…"

"Same. I couldn't do a lot of celebrating knowing he was having surgery, you know?" Henry chipped in.

"Okay well it's pretty minor really, they didn't even have to knock him out but he's tired from the painkillers. Come on, I'll show you to his room." Chris said.

"If Cornelius had anything to do with it, it'll practically be a presidential suite." Henry commented.

"I don't think too many visitors are allowed, but you guys can see him just for a bit, it's best if he gets rest tonight you hear?" Chris told the teenagers.

Connor was dozing when they arrived at his private suite where they passed by Cornelius in the seating area with a laptop in front of him and a phone to his ear.

Claire was tapping her foot as she sat beside Connor in an armchair that made her look small.

"Hi guys." She tried to smile, standing up to hug Sarah and shake her Mom's hand. "Connor, you have visitors." She spoke softly, tapping her brother's arm.

He groaned before opening his eyes and Sarah was afraid he was in pain but he just mumbled something about going back to sleep.

"So you're knee was fine huh?" Henry asked with a roll of his eyes. "Dude, seriously, next time tell me when you're in pain."

"There's the new captain talking." Connor smirked.

"Don't try and sweet talk me, we were all worried man."

"I'm fine." Connor yawned as he straightened himself up. "And the doctors are keeping me in overnight just to be sure but I'll make it to Jason's party." He promised the Reese's'.

"I don't care. I'm just glad you're okay." Sarah said, squeezing his hand.

"I care, he's been looking forward to it."

"Well don't worry about that now Connor, you should focus on having a good rest tonight." Susan said.

Connor yawned again, "That won't be a problem." He smiled.

"Claire, how about you come home with us, let Connor rest." Chris suggested.

"No way. I'm staying here."

"The chair won't be comfortable."

"I'm used to sleeping in hospitals, I'm not leaving him."

"Claire, I'm fine." Connor said.

"I'm not leaving." She said firmly.

"What about Mom, she'll wonder where we are tomorrow morning." He argued.

"Claire, why don't I drop you home and then tomorrow you can tell your Mom what happened?" Henry suggested.

"I'll be sure to come back first thing tomorrow morning." Chris reassured her. "And talk to your Mom if you need me to kiddo."

"She's not going to like that we didn't tell her, she's already mad we're all treating her with kiddie gloves."

"I'll take care of it." Chris promised. Claire sighed. It wasn't really his job to do so, it was her Dad's but he didn't have the best touch, so having Chris reassuring her wouldn't be the worst thing

Claire shot the room where her father was a look. "And I'll come too." Henry said quietly.

Sarah guessed he would play the referee.

"Are you sure?" Claire asked Connor.

"You being here right now is keeping me awake. Go home Claire." He told her with a small smile.

Sarah was just glad Connor seemed better than she had expected.

They said their goodbyes, and Sarah leaned down to kiss Connor's forehead.

"See you tomorrow." He promised her. "I love you."

"I love you too." Sarah brushed his forehead softly with her lips before pulling away again as his eyes closed.

* * *

 **Our sweet Connor got hurt! Will he make it for Jason's party? Stay tuned!**


	46. Chapter 46

**Holding On**

 **A/N: Happy almost Christmas everyone! Thank you so much for all the love you've showed our little story these past few months. We love it so much and we love all of you!**

 **Chapter 46**

Connor woke up just as the nurses had come to check on him the next morning. He had slept right through the night. He sighed, lying his head back on the pillow, the sharp pain in his knee after the surgery was now just a dull ache and the stiffness seemed to have worn off.

His father swept into the room, in a new suit, "Right, the doctors said you're cleared to go home."

Connor cursed to himself, his Dad couldn't even ask if he was okay or well, care.

But he wanted to get home for Jason and to try and minimise the panic on his Mom.

No matter how well he or Claire could lie, he knew in the back of his mind that Chris would tell her eventually.

True to their word, Chris and Henry turned up shortly afterward to see how he was doing. Connor smirked to Henry as his best friend somehow managed to literally stand in between the two men.

The doctor checked him over, gave him a follow up appointment and the documents his physiotherapist would need, Connor was just glad to see the back of the hospital, he didn't know how his Mom did it.

Earl picked him up and relayed Claire's message that she had occupied their Mom at home with a pamper session that should keep her busy and give Connor a few hours to rest up.

They got home and Connor ate what Katie had whipped up for him while making Jason's cake. Cornelius hung around awkwardly before taking the first opportunity to escape to his office. Chris went up to say hello to Elizabeth, under the pretense that he had dropped the boys off but Connor was sweating. He came back down and said goodbye, assuring him he'd have the milkshakes ready for the party.

Henry stayed with him, being his alibi and chauffeur for the meantime.

* * *

Jason woke up at the crack of dawn the next day, excited even, it was honestly the first time they had seen him happy and not anxious to have people over

When Sarah wasn't trying to distract her brother from watching out the front window to wait for guests hours before the party, she was attached to her phone, waiting for an update on Connor.

Claire had sent her a text to let her know that Connor had been discharged and was on the way home. She sighed, counting down the time until she'd get to see him.

But she sent both Connor and Claire a message to remind him that he could take his time coming over if he wasn't up for it, Jason would understand.

At least that was what Sarah tried to keep telling herself. She knew how lucky she honestly was to have Connor in her life and love Jason the way he did.

" _Thank God the party is today, it will keep Jay in good spirits, see you later Reese."_ Will texted her.

She was glad. Jay had been on a high after the game yesterday but even Sarah had seen in the later pictures taken in the celebrations the day before how Jay's smile was waning.

Connor messaged her to let her know he was going fine and he'd be there, and time seemed to fly before the doorbell rang with the first guests.

Emily and Monique appeared in matching homemade Transformers t-shirts that made them Jason's favourite people for the day. Danny and his parents arrived next and Natalie brought a very excited Lily.

Sarah and Susan were anxiously waiting to try and get party games started to avoid any bored children or arguments but Jason, Danny and Lily got on like a house on fire and didn't need any entertainment served to them.

"Looks like we have the next three musketeers there." Natalie smiled.

The Halstead brothers came next, both in their best ties which Sarah thought was beyond sweet.

True to style, Jason insisted Jay had to sit with him when they were digging in to the first batch of cookies Juliet had made.

Then the bell rang again and Hermann showed up with the very promised milkshakes which were set up in very special Transformers cups that Jason and the rest of the guests could keep after it was over.

"It was Henry and Connor's idea." Hermann told Sarah as she led him into the kitchen. Sarah smiled but was fidgeting with her phone. "Everything okay?"

"Connor, I just, I know he said he was fine but…"

"Ah, he is kiddo, it will take him a bit of time to recover fully, but all in all it wasn't all that bad." Chris commented.

"Do you think he'll play again?" Sarah asked, that had been in the back of her mind since the day before, she was no doctor but she knew he'd have to go to therapy after his surgery no matter how small, she had done her research but somehow she wished he wouldn't have to play again.

"Knowing Connor?" Chris said. "Yeah, probably, I mean it didn't last him six months the first time he was kept off the ice, actually, the injury happened about this time last year, but nothing is written in stone Sarah."

"Right, but if he gets hurt again…"

"I hear you sweetheart." Chris said nodding. "You just have to give it some time, maybe he'll decide on his own, he's done."

"And if he doesn't…" Sarah retorted. "I don't want him to stop doing something he loves Hermann but I worry about him."

"I do too." He admitted. They weren't able to continue talking because Susan had come into the kitchen.

"Connor's here honey." Chris smiled her way and she headed to the door to see her boyfriend, with crutches and boot on his knee, with a similar shirt to the one Jason was wearing standing there with Henry beside him.

"Sarah, look, Connor's shirt is almost like mine." Jason said, a little thrown off by the crutches and boot but Sarah had tried to explain to him earlier that Connor had gotten hurt at his game and was going to be like that for a few days.

"I like yours better bud." Connor commented with a wink. Sarah's heart swelled. "Happy Birthday Jason." The little boy nodded and said that his Dad had promised him a new Transformers toy too to go with the ones he already had, James stood there by the kitchen door watching the interaction with caution, but he decided against making any comment that would upset Jason, he was happy actually that he was having this party to begin with.

"Oh, birthday boy, I have your cake right here." Henry said with a smile and Jason's eyes went wide. "You want to come take a look?"

Jason followed Henry into the kitchen as Sarah smiled his way and mouthed a thank you Henry's way.

"Hi." Connor spoke softly, glancing at her with a smile.

"Hi." She replied. "How are you feeling?"

"Good, a little tired but I'm sure it's just the pills." He said as Sarah helped him sit on the couch in the living room, thankfully Henry had managed to gather the other guests in the small backyard.

"Are you sure you feel okay?" Sarah asked again.

"Sarah" He spoke firmly. "Stop, I'm fine."

"You said that yesterday and ended up in the hospital Connor." Sarah said, a little harsher than intended. She noticed his jaw tighten. "I'm sorry, I'm just worried about you."

"Because you love me?" He spoke into her cheek.

"Yeah I do." Sarah replied, feeling a little weak from the closeness.

"Kiss me then." Connor said, still not pulling back. She did, it was short but she realized she hadn't really kissed him since the game and missed him.

"See? I feel better already." He said tracing a finger under her chin.

Soon enough Natalie came to find them with Henry holding her hand. "Ugh, my feet are killing me." She sighed, collapsing beside Connor. "I just want cake."

"Cravings?" Henry mused.

"Yeah and well Mom didn't want me to bring Lily by myself, something about me not doing any effort I didn't need to but honestly, I just needed to get out of the house."

Her Mom had been less off her back since the baby shower but she'd heard her parents talking about how her life wouldn't be the same after having the baby and she was walking on eggshells around them now. After she'd told them, Connor smiled at her. "It's not like you can't make a life for yourself, you'll make it work."

Natalie wanted to believe him but her parents were also right. She was meant to be planning for prom and senior year, not taking Lamaze classes and learning how to breathe through pain.

She was terrified of the reality of it, not even understanding how her Mom had done it 5 times.

"And you?" Natalie told Connor. "Somehow you ended up in the hospital?"

"Don't start Nat." Connor begged. "I'm not really in the mood."

"Oh, that's fine, I'll do all the talking then."

Sarah listened to Natalie tell Connor all the things she herself wanted to aloud, not even letting Henry interject to defend him, she honestly felt relieved although she figured this wouldn't be the end of it.

"Everything okay kiddos?" Chris came back inside, telling Henry everything was set up, he had to get back to the diner.

"Thanks for everything Chris." Sarah hugged him.

"Don't mention it, I also left a gift for Jason with your Mom." He turned to Connor. "Will you be okay? Henry is driving you back."

"I'll be fine, it wasn't even major surgery." Connor protested.

"Sore subject. Got it." Chris smiled to himself. "Well tell Jason I said I hope he enjoys the rest of the party, have fun kids."

"You know even when we're like fifty he'll still be calling us kids." Natalie mused as Chris left.

"Time for cake." Juliet popped her head in to call them into the kitchen. Henry managed to help Connor into the next room where Jason was waiting with delighted wonder for his cake. He had made sure Jay was still sitting beside him while Will was taking pictures and instructing them to make silly faces.

Once his Optimus Prime themed cake, Jason became instantly conflicted, wanting Connor to sit beside him too but also glancing at Sarah. She was worried her little brother would be overwhelmed by the excitement of having everyone in the same room. While everyone was chatting and Juliet was in the other room lighting the cake, Sarah took a second to crouch down beside Jason.

"Hey Buddy, how are you? Are you enjoying the party?"

Jason nodded emphatically," And...there's...everyone…"

"There sure is a lot of people, but they all think you're great. You just have to do what you want to for fun okay?"

"Okay. Can we watch my new Transformers movie after? Lily has never seen it." It sounded like it was the worst thing in the world, to her brother Sarah supposed it was.

Jason settled with having Sarah standing near his chair while he blew out his candles. It had already been decided that having a room full of people sing at him would probably be a bit too much and there was no point in undoing all his progress.

Lily and Danny settled down with Jason and Natalie and the Halsteads to watch the movie, even Mary's daughters sat in with them. The adults all chipped in with cleaning up and organising.

"How's he liking it?" Connor asked, wrapping a hand around her waist as she made her way over to him as they stood in the kitchen. "Would he mind if I left now?" He asked in a quiet voice.

"Are you okay?" She couldn't help the panic in her voice as she scanned his face.

"I'm just tired and it's time to take my next set of pills and they make me a little sleepy." He reassured her.

She cupped his face with her hands, "I wish I could make it better, I don't like to see you in pain."

"You know another kiss might help." He smirked up at her.

"You're impossible." She told him with a grin before leaning down to kiss him lightly.

"But you love me."

"I do."

"Hey man, I've got the car just outside, you ready?" Henry asked after he had said goodbye to everyone. Jason came racing out, leaving the movie playing to say goodbye.

"Henry will take care of you?"

"He sure will." Connor nodded.

"Because you're friends?"

"Best friends." Henry added.

"But can I have more than one best friend?" He asked, sudden worry crossing his face, glancing back to where everyone was gathered.

"Of course you can!" Henry said.

"Yep, you can." Connor assured him.

Jason contemplated the new information, "Okay. Danny and Lily won't have to fight anymore." He sighed in relief before saying goodbye and rushing back to the movie, Sarah and the boys looked at each other.

"I'll see you?" Connor said to Sarah from the passenger's seat of Henry's car, she grabbed his hand and played with his fingers for a bit.

"Yeah, promise me you'll get some rest?" She said kissing his lips, Connor pulled her closer though, almost inside the car.

"I promise."

"Good." She said, biting her lip as Henry pretended to be talking to Nat who was waiting with Lily to be picked up by her Mom as the movie was almost over. "I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

"This is Jay. And this is Will." Jason introduced them to James as soon as they were the only ones left at the party and had offered to stay behind and help clean up. "They go together to school and take the bus like me and Sarah. I like them a lot Daddy."

Sarah is their friend and she's a girl but she's not their girlfriend, she's only Connor's. They have girlfriends, their names are Nina and Erin, but Mary says you can't have more than one girlfriend, like when you have best friends." Jason said earnestly, trying to get everything right but Sarah winced at the unintentional reminder to Jay that he had just been dumped.

He turned to the boys, "Are you my best friends too?"

"Sure are Jason." Will smiled.

"Are you kidding? We aren't bus buddies for nothing." Jay insisted.

Once the guests have left, Jason was approached with the idea of staying up a little later than usual to open his presents.

It would have been funny if it weren't so serious, Connor thought to himself as he and Henry tried to sneak him into his own house complete with his crutches.

Henry still helped him up the stairs and into his bedroom. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, thanks man, I'll see you tomorrow if you're feeling up to it, we can hang out at Nat's house for a bit?"

She'd never leave them live it down if they didn't spend time together before the baby was born

"Yeah, thanks for everything Henry, I owe you."

"No problem, huh, test up C." Henry smiled at him and as he was about to leave, Elizabeth was there in her wheelchair with Kelly behind her.

"Henry honey, are you heading home?"

"Yeah, uh, how are you feeling?" Henry asked as Connor tried to sit up, hearing his mother's voice, panicking.

"It's a good day Henry." She said with a soft smile, grabbing on his hand and squeezing it gently. "And you, I heard you made captain, I'm so proud of you."

Henry smiled. "Oh yeah, I figured Dad would tell you."

"Yeah, he's so proud and so am I." She replied.

"Thanks Liza." Henry smirked, turning back a little bit to eye Connor wearily.

"So, when were you and your sister planning to tell me you had had minor surgery." Was the first thing his Mom said when Henry began climbing down the stairs. "You thought I wouldn't notice?"

Her voice sounded hurt and with reason.

"Mom…"

"No, Connor I get that you don't want me to worry, but, do you really think I'm so oblivious to it all? And to get Chris and Henry involved?" She was now facing him on the bed as he winced in pain, tired from turning around and sitting up.

"Chris told you?"

"He did come to see me this morning. But your Dad called me last night from the hospital to let me know."

"Dad, really?" He asked with utter disbelief.

"Yes but I would have liked to know what had happened from you and not have you and Claire lie to me."

"I'm sorry." Connor spoke. "I just didn't want you to worry."

"Because, what? My child being in the hospital is something I can't handle? You think I wouldn't want to be there with you last night?"

"Chris was." Connor spoke.

"Chris loves you Connor, he loves all of us and he'd do everything he can for you, but he's not your father."

The room felt heavy, but Connor didn't back down. "Sometimes I wish he was…"

Elizabeth didn't answer. "Your Father is in his office, tomorrow when you are feeling better, you two should have a talk."

"Mom..."

"No, enough Connor, I need you to understand, that even though I appreciate you worrying about me, you are also depriving me of those moments were I feel like I can be your Mom, where I'm just not someone living in this house, locked up in a room."

Connor felt his eyes trickle with tears. "And for once, I appreciate your father being honest with me."

She didn't say anything else and instead, Kelly appeared by the door, Connor was sure she'd heard it all, the older woman shot him a glance and pushed Elizabeth out the room.

"Mom, wait...I'm sorry." Connor spoke and Kelly stopped cold on her tracks as Elizabeth turned back to look at him.

"I know, we'll talk tomorrow, for now you need to rest, take those pills." She spoke. "I love you Connor, I need you to know that." Her tone softened but Connor's heart constricted in his chest as the door closed behind him.

His head was pounding, his knee was burning and he had to bit his lip to keep the tears from falling, he felt like those first few weeks after Elizabeth's diagnosis where he used to hide in his room and cry.

* * *

Sarah was just finishing unwrapping presents with Jason when Connor called her. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Uh, I don't… I don't know." He sounded a bit lost, maybe he was a little dosed on the painkillers. "Is Jason still up?"

"Yeah, he's right here." Sarah called for her brother as he took the phone, of course he didn't think twice about picking up once Sarah had mentioned Connor. He talked to him for a few minutes, having Sarah reminding him to thank Connor for his present. His own version of a leather jacket but with the Autobots logo engraved in the back.

"Okay, bye Connor." Sarah heard Jason speak and then hand the phone over to her. "Connor is sad". He commented and Sarah grabbed on the phone. She excused herself and went to the top of the stairs and into her room.

"Connor?" There was panic in her voice. "Connor, what happened?"

"Did, he, uh, like his jacket? It will be perfect for Texas." He said, ignoring her previous question. "I bought it a size bigger so it will last him longer."

"Yeah, it was perfect." She said. "He loves it, but now will you tell me what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry about Ava," He said.

"What?"

"I'm sorry I didn't stop her sooner when she was mean to you or that I didn't notice she was hurting you." Sarah was now officially freaking out now. "I am just really sorry Sarah."

"You don't have to be, Connor, it wasn't your fault." She retorted, trying to keep her voice firm. "It's all something that happened, it doesn't matter."

"It does to me." He said. "Because I didn't stop it."

"Connor, listen to me." She spoke after a moment. "She's not important to me. You are."

"You are important to me too." He said. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." She assured him.

"I'm tired." He said, almost like Jason would.

Sarah couldn't help but smile. "You should sleep then, close your eyes."

"I wish you were here."

"I'll come over tomorrow if I can." She promised. "I love you."

"I love you too." Then the line went dead and Sarah laid back on the bed, her finger tracing her screen.

* * *

Connor took his pills the next morning and had breakfast with Claire but he still couldn't shake the feeling that what he had said to Sarah the previous night would backfire. "Was the party good yesterday?" Claire asked.

"Yeah Jason enjoyed it, says he's looking forward to seeing Kim's horses."

"Good, I'm glad." She smiled before pushing her cereal around the bowl."So...Mom?"

"Found out, _from Dad_."

"She seemed off yesterday but I guess it was because she knew."

"I may have also told her I wished Chris was our Dad."

Claire winced, "Well it's not like it isn't the truth most of the time, it's not like Dad was much support to have at the hospital."

"Yeah well now I have to go talk to him." Connor sighed.

"Better to get it over with." Claire suggested,

"I know." He said, "For some reason, I'm not hungry anymore." He laughed humorlessly while pushing his own bowl away. "Wish me luck."

Claire smiled softly as he turned back and grabbed his crutches, thankfully he didn't have to climb more than a few steps.

He sighed before knocking on the door. His father called him in, almost like he was expecting him.

"Come in." Connor did as he was told, suddenly feeling 14 again and in trouble for getting into fights at Lakeshore. "Sit down son."

He skipped onto the side and on the couch, in front his father's desk, Cornelius was looking over some papers and it took him a moment to look up. "I have to leave again soon." He said.

"How soon?"

"A few days." He replied. There was a silence between them. As it seemed to be always, Connor couldn't really talk to him, he felt like there was this barrier, one they'd put up their entire lives.

"You are upset at me because of what happened at the hospital." It wasn't a question. "And for other reasons."

 _Try a million._

"I don't expect you to understand Connor."

"Understand what exactly Dad?" Connor tried to control his temper as his father still sat at his desk.

"That I'm not ready for this." He admitted finally. "For your Mother to be gone, for you and Claire to become my responsibility."

Connor froze, he'd never heard his father admit fear before. "I was never ready for any of it, marriage, children, all I wanted was to do what I was told so I did. I became someone's husband and someone's father, but after we lost Michael…" Connor looked up. "I'd never experienced loss like that, not for someone I cared about, of course I loved my parents but when they died I was young and merely had business to care for. Claire was just a baby when my father died and my mother…"

Connor remembered his grandmother vaguely, he was about 3 years old when she'd died. "Well, let's just said I'd never been good at dealing with loss, because to me it means, I'd failed."

"Dad…"

"Your Mother says you and I are too similar but sometimes I struggle to see it, because all I wish to see is the one child I lost."

Connor felt his heart fall. "He was the one I had hopes for. The one I pictured taking over the business when the time came. My father told me that I should secure the legacy he had work so hard to build. So when Michael died, I considered it a failure, so in truth, I couldn't look at Claire the same way or you for that matter."

Connor seemed to be lost for words but thankfully he was saved by the ringing of Cornelius's phone. "I need to take this, we'll continue this later."

Connor sighed, grabbing on his crutches and nodding. "For what it's worth Dad, I might not want to be the one Rhodes to take care of the business, but Claire? She's more than ready for it."He added as he walked out.

"How did it go?" His sister was there when he returned to the foyer.

"I'm not… I'm not even sure." Connor admitted. "Is Mom up?"

"No, I just checked, she's dozed off." Claire replied. "But Sarah is here for you."

He hadn't even noticed the texts on his phone. After that talk, after what he was pretty sure he'd told her the day before, he needed to see her.

They sat in the smaller living room by the piano again. Sarah noticed something was off with him right away. "What's up?" Sarah asked after he'd told her what had happened and a wave of silence settled between them.

"I'm not sure." He admitted. "It might have been the painkillers but I think for the first time in my life, I sort of felt bad for my Dad, like he's going to be as lost as us once Mom is gone."

"Well, it makes sense." Sarah said, playing with the hair on the back of his neck. "They have been together for a long time."

"I told Mom I wish Chris was my Dad…." Connor admitted next. "I mean, I don't hate the man, not really but, how is he supposed to care for us Sarah? He doesn't know a thing about us. Chris does."

Sarah smiled softly."He'll have to learn I guess? Same as you, plus it's not like you are going to be alone, you'll have Katie and all the people around you that care."

"Like you?" He inquired, his eyes shining.

"Like me." Sarah agreed, leaning to kiss him softly, but Connor pulled her closer and grabbed on the back of her head softly, playing with her hair.

She had to break the kiss for air at one point and Connor seemed a little bit ashamed to have escalated it so quickly. "So, I have physiotherapy tomorrow and the doctor is going to let me know if I can ever play hockey again."

Sarah only took his hand in hers again. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"Yeah, it's after school, Claire offered to be there too," He said, she could see he was more in more in pain as the drugs had began to wore off and he honestly looked sad over the prospect of never playing hockey again.

"I wish I could do more for you." Sarah admitted, she glanced at the screen on her phone. "So are Natalie and Henry coming over?"

"No, Henry is picking me up later. He wouldn't tell me where we are going." They talked a bit more about Jason and how he'd done with the party and Sarah told him she still hadn't heard from the school about Texas, Connor didn't want to be glad, he wanted to kick himself over it but as the date was dawning for the end of the school year, the idea of being without her for 7 weeks hadn't gotten any easier.

* * *

 **Happy Holidays guys! Hope you enjoyed this one! See you next time...**


	47. Chapter 47

**Holding On**

 **A/N: We hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas with your loved ones.**

 **Let's see what Rheese is up to now, shall we?**

 **Chapter 47**

"Give me." Natalie mused as she stole a bit of the ice cream Henry still had on his cup. They were sitting on a bench at the nearby park. Lily and Kenny playing nearby as they had promised to keep an eye on them for their parents as both families had come out for a day at the park.

Connor laughed and Henry just gave it all to her. "What? I'm eating for two."

"Don't let me stop you." Henry mused. "So, did you, uh, talk to your Mom? I mean yesterday she looked scary, man, I didn't think that would be a word I would relate to Liza but.."

Connor sighed, playing with his ice cream cone.

"Uh, yeah… it wasn't pretty." He then proceeded to tell them what had happened with both Elizabeth and Cornelius. "Oh man. He told you that?" Henry asked.

Natalie turned, taking his hand. "I'm sorry Connor."

"Yeah, but it's not like I'm mad at him." Connor admitted. "Not really, honestly I just feel sorry for him, like I'm grateful we had Mom to raise us I guess."

"Do you, think about it?" Natalie asked. "What your life would be like if Michael was alive?"

Connor nodded. "I remember when Katie first told me, I could only think of what it would have been like to have a big brother... I love Claire but, it would have been cool to have met Michael."

Natalie laid back on the bench. "I'm sure he'd been cute." Connor and Henry turned to her."What?"

"Nothing." Connor mused. Henry suddenly felt self conscious, grateful neither Claire or Connor knew about his true feelings.

"So, I really was trying to put this off for as long as I could," Natalie suddenly spoke. "But since it's probably going to be the last time it's just going to be the 3 of us… I just want to say how much I love you guys."

She had tears in her eyes.

"Nat…"

"I'm sorry. Hormones." She laughed.

"That's okay." Henry said with a smile taking her hand. "And just for the record, we can still be us, just with that little guy to hang out with."

"Who we are going to spoil like crazy." Connor added with a smile. "And we're always going to be there."

* * *

Exam fever had taken control of Gaffney High.

The hockey game the week before seemed like a distant memory now that the players were taking up the library rather than the rink.

The days were counting down to summer but everyone had mixed reactions about the impending holidays.

Henry was dreading each day that brought him closer to the exams. Jay was counting backwards away from summer and back from when Erin had taken a sword to his heart. April was looking forward to the summer camp she was going to be working at with Ethan of all of people.

But Natalie was facing the biggest change of all and she was wondering if it was bad that she kind of hoped she would go into labour early and not have to sit her last tests.

Sarah was awaiting them with a cloud of disappointment already looming over her, there was no way she would make the summer program, she wasn't that smart. Even if she didn't want to leave Connor and her friends, she had been kind of excited to experience something new while still being in her comfort zone. Now that her first year in Gaffney was almost over, she had come to finally realise that being smart and studying were _good_ things, positive attributes and not a negative anymore.

"I think we've reached a problem with your studies Sarah." Mr Charles commented at their weekly meeting, as he read through the files her teachers had sent over. Sarah hadn't gotten to read them as they were a summary of her progress so far.

Her stomach dropped, "What?" She panicked.

"Yes, I don't know where you want to go from here…" He sighed, taking off his glasses and laying the pages down.

She didn't understand the problem, she was still a straight A student, she tutored a growing list of people and she even started to participate in class now that Ava had quietened down.

"Is it bad? I can study more." She said earnestly.

He put his glasses back on and she watched as a smile appeared slowly on his face. "Sarah, you have a history of being a bright student but you have surpassed all expectations. I haven't seen a record like this in a long time. According to your teachers, you've breezed through the junior classes easily. I think the problem has been that you have never been challenged enough before."

Well, she thought to herself, school had always been easy, she had always lived in the library, teaching herself extra things she never did in class.

"Okay, so what do you mean you don't know where I go from here?" She asked, trying to piece together the conversation.

"Quite frankly, I think you would be bored next year as a junior, having covered most of the material through class this year or through your own study?" He looked at her with a knowing glance. Ah, she thought, that was one time she had handed up the wrong paper to her sophomore history class, having gone ahead to junior material herself. Even though it was tougher, she had liked the challenge.

"But it's better than being ill-prepared though right?" She asked.

"Yes, but I would like to run a suggestion by you."

"Okay…?"

"How would you feel about becoming a senior next year?"

Sarah blinked, "A senior? Like, what, skip a grade?"

"Precisely that. With your GPA and academic record, as well as if you get into the summer school program I see no reason why you _shouldn't_ graduate early, as a senior next year."

"Oh." She sat back. _That was a big jump._

"I think that you should have a talk about this with your mother, and of course we can all have a more in depth conversation about this before the school year ends." He reassured her.

"But do my exam results not matter?" She asked.

"Not with what I see in front of me." He said indicating to the reviews by her teachers.

She thanked him and got up to go to her next class in a kind of day dream state.

It was a lot to think about.

The academic side didn't worry her, she was sure she could do it, but she might have to cut down on her tutoring hours just until she got used to the it was the fact that she'd be missing an entire year of high school, last year that wouldn't have mattered, but she was enjoying school now.

She could graduate with Connor and Nat and Henry, but she would also be leaving Emily and Jay and Monique behind. Plus it would put her on a fast track to college and that worried her, she needed to stay close for Jason and she had wanted to put that decision off as long as possible.

Mr Charles was right, it was a lot to think about.

* * *

Lunch was a tense affair. Henry shot daggers at anyone who talked to him as he read a textbook and frantically highlighted. Sarah supposed that the new captain couldn't afford to let his grades drop. Connor was tired from the post operation medicines he was still on. Natalie was in a constant state of uncomfortableness. Sarah was still tossing the concept of becoming a senior around her head which she still hadn't told Connor about.

"Ok. That's it. Give me your phone Halstead." Emily said, loud enough for everyone to break out of their own little worlds and look at Emily who had her hand out to Jay.

"Shut up Emily." He scoffed, with a roll of his eyes as he kept scrolling on his phone.

"Oh no you didn't." Sarah heard Emily almost whisper to herself, while glaring at Jay. She stood up abruptly, leaned over and whipped the phone out of his hand.

He stood up, nearly shouting in protest. "You'll thank me for this." She told him sternly, before pressing a few buttons.

"What the hell Emily?" He demanded.

"This is not good for you. You've had weeks of this self deprivation." She told him, waving her hand to indicate his wrinkled clothes and dark circles under his eyes. "If she didn't love you enough to stick it out then she didn't deserve you, you have to stop torturing yourself and _move on_."

She handed him back his phone. "Wow mature Emily, block Erin from my phone." Jay sneered.

"Well she beat me to it." Will commented, taking a bite of his food. "This whole thing is not good for you man."

"Why does everyone suddenly have an opinion for what's good for me?" Jay asked, throwing his hands up. "I don't tell you that your whole relationship is a sham." He shot at Will, "Or that you're really just terrified of being alone." He told Emily.

"Hey." Will stood up, "Cut the crappy attitude, I have enough of it at home."

"As if I didn't have to put up with you moping around for months because of N-"

"Shut up." Will cut him off with a growl.

"In case you didn't notice, I don't have to do what you say, you aren't Dad."

"Like Dad is any good for anything." Will argued.

"Leave Dad out of this."

"You brought him up!"

"Hey!" Henry shouted loud enough to quieten the brothers, "Stress and anger is _not_ a good environment for the baby or Natalie." He scowled.

Will whipped his head around so fast to check on Natalie that Sarah was afraid he'd get whiplash, looking devastated.

Jay scoffed, "And I can't even keep one girlfriend." He picked up his bag and left.

* * *

Connor was baffled after school, not because Earl was collecting him, that was normal now that his leg was still in a boot and driving was not an option, but the fact that his Dad was sitting in the car too.

"Hi." Connor said, shuffling into the car.

"Connor, how was school?" His Dad asked as if this was a normal conversation for them.

"I thought you were away with work." Connor retorted.

"I was, I had a free day and your mother suggested I come with you to your physical therapy since I'm leaving soon."

"You don't have to, I'll be fine." He said. "I'm sure you are busy."

Cornelius glanced at him and then back at his phone. "I'm sorry son, this is not up for discussion, your mother insisted. She didn't want you to be alone."

"I'm not alone. Sarah's meeting me there."

She had been keen on going with him to every session she could, but lately, he'd been rather dreading it since the doctor couldn't still give him a straight answer about playing next season.

"Oh, and how is Sarah?" Connor couldn't help but stare at his father. He didn't think they'd ever been that civilized to each other before.

"Fine."

"Good, you should have her over again sometime."

"Okay…" Connor offered, his father turned around and back to his phone.

They reached the clinic about 5 minutes later and Connor got out of the car, grabbing his crutches as soon as Earl had handed them to him.

He had to get away from his father as soon as possible.

His demeanor was throwing him off, although he had promised his Mom to try and be civil.

"Connor." Grace, his therapist smiled as soon as she spotted him. "How have you been feeling?"

"Not too bad I guess." She eyed Cornelius beside Connor curiously. "Mr. Rhodes, I didn't know you'd be joining us."

Cornelius nodded. "I'll be right out here."

"That's fine. Is Sarah coming as well?" Connor relaxed a bit at the mention of his girlfriend as his father took a seat on the couches in the waiting room and Grace led Connor to the back.

* * *

Sarah had been surprised to learn that his therapist was a girl, a few years older than Claire actually, not that she had been jealous or anything as far as Connor could see but he liked that she would engage in conversation with Grace about things she'd read for his recovery or brag to her about Jason and Grace in exchange loved her too.

"Sarah." Cornelius's voice startled Sarah as she ran in breathless inside the clinic, she'd missed her bus and had run late.

"Mr. Rhodes." Sarah spoke, trying to hide the surprise in her voice. "Hello sir."

"Hello, Connor tells me you've been coming with him."

"Yes sir, as much as I can." She said.

"Well good, as you can see, my son and I don't have the best relationship."

 _Was that sadness in his voice?_

Sarah was about to respond when Grace came out. "Oh Sarah, you are here, good I need a hand. Are you alright Mr. Rhodes? Can we get you anything?"

"How much longer will it be?" Cornelius asked.

"Another hour or so." Grace said.

"Fine, thank you." Cornelius then turned to Sarah and gave a nod her way and went back to texting something on his phone.

"That man, he is an enigma." Grace spoke to Sarah in a whisper as they moved further into the hallway. "My parents have known the Rhodes for years, but I don't think I'd ever seen him come with Connor to anything."

Sarah smiled. "You tell me? I've only met him and Connor and I have been dating for almost six months and I don't think he's been around home more than a few days at most."

"Hey babe, you made it." Connor beamed at Sarah from his seat, Sarah smiled as he kissed her cheek. "Were you two talking about me?"

"Maybe." Grace smirked. "I was telling Sarah I'm going to need her help today. We're going to be doing some exercises and they are going to hurt, it would be good for you to have someone holding your hand."

Connor rolled his eyes. "I can handle it."

"Well then, I can have Sarah wait outside with your Dad."

"No, I mean, how bad can they be, right?"

They were bad, painful, but Sarah was there to support him, crouched down on the mat beside him as Grace pulled his leg up to force the muscles on his knee. Connor began to feel sweat on his brow and he almost draw blood from his lip.

"Almost over Connor, you are doing great." Grace spoke as another wave of pain shot through him.

Once they were done, Grace sat across the two teenagers at her desk. "Well, the good news is, the brace we can get rid of today, the bad news is that you are going to have to come see me for summer sessions."

"How soon until I can play again?" He didn't waste any time to get right on the subject, he'd been pining over having his leg immobilized for weeks Sarah stared at him.

"Well, that is for me to determine once the mandatory sessions are done, but in my honest opinion? If you don't want major surgery to come next, I'd try and get another hobby." Sarah didn't need to look at him to know he was pissed, disappointed. "We've been here once before Connor, I don't want the third one to be the charm."

"Whatever, you don't know anything." He shot.

"Connor…" Sarah tried.

"Like I said last time, you could still play but with injuries like this, one wrong move and you can land yourself in the hospital again." Grace said patiently.

* * *

It was Friday so Sarah had agreed to go over to his house after the appointment as she wasn't sure what would happen if she left him alone with his Dad in the car but the ride over was quiet and Cornelius knew better than to set him off.

The brace was off so he was able to walk a bit more freely and now he only had to take Ibuprofen if he was in pain.

His Dad had dashed off to his office for work and Katie offered to make some snacks for them as they settled on the downstairs den to watch a movie.

But Connor had other plans, in the middle of the movie, Sarah who was cuddled into his chest felt him shift and peck her lips, she answered back quickly and tried to focus back on the screen, then she felt his lips on her neck and every rational thought she had was thrown to the side, ever since that first time he'd kissed her there, Sarah realized that was a weak spot of hers. "Connor, your knee."

"It's fine." He whispered pushing her into horizontal position. "You heard Grace."

"Yeah I heard her and I also know you are upset." Sarah reasoned.

"Should I stop?" He said against her skin, trailing his kisses further down. It wasn't like they hadn't been experimenting lately but Sarah wasn't sure she was comfortable with Katie having to walk on them Connor had closed the door but not locked it and she knew he was upset and they needed to talk about it.

"Yeah, maybe we should."

He sensed how serious she was about not wanting to get caught as they heard Katie ruffling upstairs and Connor pulled back trying to get back to the movie but Sarah stopped it and turned to look at his deep blue eyes, she better talk to him about senior year to get his mind of hockey. "Actually." She said. "I wanted to talk to you about something... So, uh, you know on my meeting with Mr. Charles yesterday?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, he said I could, you know with all the classes I'd taken this year and my grades, he said that I could skip a grade and graduate next year, with you."

She searched his eyes. "Babe, that's amazing." He beamed.

"You think?"

"Of course." He said confidently. "No one deserves it more than you."

Sarah smiled. "Well, I still have to talk to my Mom about it and we still have a few finals to get through but Mr. Charles said it was almost a done deal, I mean I sort of feel bad to leave Emily, Monique and Jay behind but I'll be with you guys, so it doesn't sound like the worst thing?"

"No, your friends will be happy for you, I am and so proud." He touched her chin tenderly to lift her face for a kiss.

* * *

Earl dropped Sarah home as Katie wouldn't listen to Connor's protests that he was cleared to drive, she wouldn't take the chance just yet.

Sarah got in in time to tuck Jason in.

"Mom?" Sarah asked, as she followed her mother down the stairs.

"Yes Sweetie?"

"Can I talk to you?"

"Sure, what is it?" She asked over her shoulder as they made their way into the kitchen.

"Can we sit down?" Sarah asked.

Susan stopped in her tracks, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" Sarah said, "It's just school."

"Is there anything you need help with?" Her Mom sat down, beckoning Sarah to do the same.

"No it's not that. I had my meeting with Mr Charles today…" She explained, "And well he was wondering what I'd think of moving up to be a senior in September. He recommends it actually."

"Really?" Susan asked.

Sarah nodded, "What do you think?"

"I think that we've finally found a school that recognises just how good you are." Susan beamed, "Sarah this is fantastic."

Sarah tried to swallow her nerves about it just to enjoy her mother's happiness. "How do you feel about it?"

Sarah shrugged, "I mean it sounds good and I like school and I'd get to graduate with Connor…"

"But…?"

"But my friends in my grade and it's a big jump, I'd be going to college next year…"

"I think you should think about it and we'll both have a talk with Mr Charles and discuss all our options hmm?"

Sarah nodded, "That sounds good Mom."

"I'm so proud of you Sarah."

Saturday consisted of Sarah going to the mall with Emily and Monique to find the dress for prom. She still hadn't told any of her friends that Mr. Charles had made the proposition of her skipping a grade but she knew she'd have to soon.

"Oh, let's go there, they always have the cutests dresses!" Emily squealed dragging the girls along.

"Everything okay Sarah?" Monique asked, her friend was good at reading her.

"Oh yeah, just, Connor got the news on his knee yesterday and it wasn't good." She said. "The doctor said it's best he doesn't play again, but you know Connor, he's stubborn."

"Well, it's something he loves, it can't be easy for him to lose it." Monique commented.

"Right and with his Dad around so much. I feel it's a good way for him to not having his temper get the best of him, but I don't really want him to know how worried I am."

"Like he can't tell." Monique said.

"Well, no. He hasn't figured me out yet but that's because I've been masking it with excuses and…"

"Guys, what are you doing? We're supposed to be picking up dresses, come on!" Sarah and Monique sighed as Emily proceeded to pull them further into the store and going through an obscenely amount of all kinds of fabrics, patterns and colors.

When it was time for a lunch break, she decided it was now or never that she'd tell them about Mr. Charles.

"Wow, Sarah, that's amazing." Monique beamed at her. Emily just stared. "Isn't it Em?"

"Of course, hey you'll be with Connor the entire year."

"I guess, but I mean, I'm going to miss you guys and Jay…"

"Oh, you'll be too busy to miss us." Emily said. "Smooching with your boyfriend every five minutes."

Sarah wasn't sure but it seemed Emily was upset about the news.

"Yeah, well there's still a lot to think about and talk with my Mom and I mean, that means I'd be going to college in a years time which is scary." Sarah said, weighing up the decision.

"Yeah but think of it as a great opportunity." Monique smiled encouragingly. " _Isn't it Em?"_

"Oh, yeah, sure, great for you." Emily mumbled.

"It is." Monique reiterated, before looking over Sarah's shoulder, "Jay?"

Sarah and Emily looked around to see Jay Halstead approaching their table in the mall.

He smiled softly, "Hi guys." He shoved his hands in his pockets.

"What's up? You don't come to the mall." Monique grinned.

"I...eh...came to apologise." He admitted.

"I wouldn't answer the door so you follow me to the mall?" Emily sniffed, folding her arms.

Jay sighed, "I'm an idiot Em."

"Well I know that." Emily told him.

"And I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I shouldn't have let Erin and everything get into my head so much. C'mon Emily we've been best friends since you moved here, don't let my stupidity change that."

Emily just looked at him with a blank stare.

"And I'll buy you a month's worth of milkshakes?" He tried with a sweet smile. "Please forgive me."

"Milkshakes and you have to come over to watch that medical show every Friday night all summer. You missed our hang outs when you were all loved up with Erin, you owe me friend time." She pointed her finger at him.

Sarah was getting used to having friends but she did wish she had an experience of having childhood friends like those two.

"I promise, you won't regret it Emily."

Sarah mulled over Emily's words after Jay had left and the other two girls were trying on dresses.

Jay knew her best of them all and even he had pointed out that she was lonely when he had been fighting and she hadn't exactly been keen on Sarah moving up a grade to Connor.

Maybe the problem wasn't Connor or Erin, it was with Emily.

For a girl who was the life of the party, with her past, she was probably more scared than Sarah was that people would get bored of her and forget about her.

If Sarah was going to move grades, she made a promise to herself that she wouldn't just forget about Emily or her friends.

None of the girls found dresses and left another store dejected.

"We could always go to Dolan Rhodes?" Emily asked as they left anthor store empty handed.

"Connor's store?" Monique clarified.

"Yeah, wouldn't you like get a discount, I mean your dating the heir." Emily pointed out.

It stopped Sarah in her tracks, she honestly didn't know if she could. She had walked past it a few times now but she didn't dare step inside. It kind of felt like Connor's other life summed up in a building.

"Yeah it's not far, will we go?" Emily asked, already walked.

"I've never been into that store, it's really expensive," Monique admitted.

But Sarah had seen Connor's other world. And she didn't want to hold everyone up and over think it too much. But it still felt like trespassing into his worst nightmare.

She sent him a text as they walked towards the store.

 _So we can't find any dresses and Emily wants to go to Dolan Rhodes. Is it okay with you?_ She cringed, she didn't want to ask for permission but she felt like she should let him know.

 _Babe, it's fine. Dad is away on business so you won't have to bump into him. Actually I think Claire is working there today, let her know and she'll show you around. I should have told you to go there first. Tell the staff to put them on my account._

Sarah was taken aback by his final sentence. Sure, he and his family was rich, but he had never flaunted it so blatantly. She could afford her own dress.

"Well, does boyfriend approve?" Emily asked as they approached the store.

"Yeah." Sarah mumbled, putting her phone away. A man in a top hat opened the entrance door for them. This was not the type of place Sarah usually shopped in. The place even smelled expensive. The inside was so vast Sarah couldn't even see the back walls.

Monique looked as intimidated as Sarah felt.

Sarah messaged Claire but got no answer so she took the lead and want to the nearest desk she could find.

"Welcome to Dolan Rhodes, how can I help you?" The woman smiled.

"Eh, I was wondering if Claire Rhodes is here?" Sarah asked.

The woman frowned, "May I ask who you are?"

"I'm Sarah Reese, we're, eh, friends of Claire?"

"I'm afraid I can't give out details of the store employees."

"But she's the owner." Emily pointed out.

"Regardless, I'm afraid I can't help." Sarah didn't blame the woman, they were three teen girls not dressed for an upclass place like this, she wouldn't trust them asking for the store owner's daughter either.

"Okay, thanks anyway." Sarah said.

They turned away and started wandering down the never ending aisles.

Emily breezed through the clothes like it was the mall but Monique blanched at the price tags. "I feel like I'd have to take out a loan to shop here."

Sarah was beginning to feel the same way.

"Sarah?" Sarah looked up to see Claire walking down a flight of stairs. "Hey! What are you three doing here?" She asked with a smile, dressed in a tailored suit, looking professional.

"We're just browsing looking for dresses for the end of year dance." Sarah said as Claire gave each of them hugs.

"Oh of course! I got Natalie a dress made for that last week." She clapped her hands, "Well it's decided, I can take a break now, I've got the contracts sorted, so it's time to shop."

"Oh no Claire, you don't have to…" Sarah protested, but her argument fell on deaf ears.

"Jane?" Claire called to a woman passing by, wrapping her arms around Emily and Monique, "Can you clear my schedule for the evening? And reserve dressing suite 2? These girls get priority right now."

While she was giving orders, the girls were swept up the stairs and down a lavish hallway into a room which rivalled a five star hotel. Plush sofas sat amid gold decor and a mini buffet and more women came in to ask questions on what styles they were looking for and types of clothes and another woman wielding a measure tape and another came to asses their hair and check their complexion.

Sarah felt like she was in some sort of movie. Apparently they were getting entire makeovers.

"Eh, Claire, I don't think…" Sarah started.

"I don't think I can afford this." Monique said to the older girl.

"Oh don't worry about that, this is fun for me. It's all on me. Think of it as Henry giving you free milkshakes." Claire waved away their worries before a very in depth discussion with one of the women about what styles would work best.

* * *

 **Sooo, what did you guys think?**


	48. Chapter 48

**Holding On**

 **A/N: Happy almost New Year guys! Here's to an amazing 2019! Thanks for all the love. We love you all!**

 **Chapter 48**

Her Mom was surprised, to say the least, when Earl dropped her off in a fancy car and helped her carry the large number of bags from Dolan Rhodes that Claire had sent her home with.

"I thought you were going to the mall?" Her Mom asked.

"So did I." Sarah admitted after thanking Earl and seeing him off.

"Well...what is all this? Did Connor make you buy these? Because you know you shouldn't dress a certain way because your boyfriend likes it Sarah."

"No Mom, this is all Claire. She had fun, gave me and Monique and Emily outfits for the end of year dance. Although Connor did offer to pay…" She said with a sigh, sitting down. She felt a headache coming on, she put it down to all the perfumes that were sprayed at them.

"So he wants you to shop in his family's store?"

"I guess. He didn't think it meant anything to just put it on his tab. Claire at least agreed to let us pay off the dresses." Sarah explained, "I don't like just being given things just because he has money." She admitted.

She knew deep down that Connor wasn't trying to splash his money or status around, even if that's what it felt like, but she guessed he just would never really get it. Money could be tight sometimes.

"Sweetie do you really think it's a good idea for you to jump into senior year just to be with Connor?"

"What?" Sarah asked, "I'm not thinking about it because of Connor."

"But he is a big pull isn't he?" Her mother argued, Sarah hated that she was so good at picking up on the little holes in her argument.

"Well yeah but…"

"But you are fifteen, I know Connor's your first real boyfriend but as much as you don't want to hear it, he probably won't be your last. I'm so proud of how much you've worked at school but I don't want you racing ahead just to spend more time with him."

Sarah rubbed her forehead, the decision was hard enough without her mother now arguing against it.

She made one comment about Connor and now her Mom was practically trying to break them up. She stood up and headed for the stairs.

"Sarah…" Her Mom called.

"I'm tired, I'm going to have a nap." She called back, taking the stairs two at a time. She shut her bedroom door behind her and sat on her bed, playing with the bracelet on her wrist.

 _Her Mom had just solidified her worries about them, what if they didn't last?_

* * *

It was a weird ride to school, the first morning of the last week, Connor drove Henry and Natalie to school, for old times sake now that his knee was better. Plus Henry would now not let Natalie go anywhere unless there was at least two people, he was on early labour watch.

But they all knew these trips to school together would be their last as kids. Next time in September, Nat would be a Mom.

"You think if I fail everything that they'll still let me become and senior and still be captain next year?" Henry asked, bless him, Natalie thought, was a worrier. But she had heard through Chris who heard from Katie that Claire was helping him out with studying. Not that Henry could ever admit it to Connor. There would be too many questions.

"You'll be fine." Nat reassured him.

"Hey, Sarah has that meeting with Mr Charles and her Mom today right?" Henry asked Connor.

Connor nodded, "Yeah before school."

"I always knew she was smart, I mean skipping an entire grade? I can barely keep up with my own grade work." Henry said.

"Emily doesn't seem to happy about it." Nat mused.

"Well I'm proud of her." Connor stated.

"Well it would be sort of hard for her right thought right?" Henry mused.

"What do you mean? She'll have us." Connor said.

"Yeah but she knows the people in her grade, to them she's just Sarah but she moves up with us and she's the new girl again and Connor Rhodes' girlfriend."

"I'm sure she'll be fine, if that's what she chooses to do." Natalie tried to smooth the conversation over. "And Connor's right, she has us."

"Any news on that summer program?" Henry asked, Natalie sighed to herself as se watched Connor grip the steering wheel harder. She knew Henry was just nervous and throwing out any conversation topics that weren't about the upcoming exams but now she was worrying about Connor's patience level.

"No." Connor said sharply and Henry winced.

"Right. Sorry." Henry nodded, still tapping his foot and continuously checking his school bag for all his supplies, "So when's your Dad back next?"

"Henry!" Natalie said, throwing him a glare over her shoulder.

"What?" He asked, befuddled. The poor boy just wasn't with it today.

"Stop it, you're getting on my nerves."

"Mine too man, honestly, would you relax? I know you are going crazy about school, but you're smarter than you think alright? You'll be fine."

They got out of the car with Henry helping Nat, he just prayed the week would go fast enough. They found Sarah waiting for Connor by the lockers. "Hey guys." She spoke. They'd called each other during the weekend and he'd asked her how it had gone with Claire and he had read her as always, the bullying she could pretend, the annoyance over the money subject didn't go unnoticed though and he had wanted to talk to her about it.

"We'll see you in there, alright?" Henry said as both of friends dodged the bullet and left them alone.

"Hey." Connor said, closing the space between them a little. Sarah couldn't fight it though, even if she was upset, he was close and it still made her weak in the knees. "I sort of wanted to talk to you about, uh, the whole dress thing. I'm sorry if it made you feel uncomfortable, I just wanted to do something nice for you, I wanted you to have fun with your friends."

"I can do that without having to buy expensive dresses." She said.

"I didn't mean anything by it Sarah."

She sighed, not really sure what else to do, thankfully the bell rang and they were forced to go to class. She hadn't told him how the meeting with Mr. Charles had gone. And Sarah didn't get a chance to tell him, she had almost all sophomore classes on Monday, so she met him until lunch and she didn't have time to process being dragged away by his hand as she stepped into the cafeteria.

"Come with me." He said, they stayed by the side. "Sarah, would you please talk to me? We barely did yesterday and now I feel like you are avoiding me."

"I'm not, I just what a lot on my mind." She said, he pulled a stray hair away from her face and stared at her.

"How did the meeting go?" Connor asked, trying to change the subject for now but it wasn't over.

"Mr. Charles thinks I should do it." Sarah said with a smile. "But my Mom, well she was excited about it until yesterday."

"Until yesterday?" He asked.

"Doesn't matter, I'm not even sure I want to." She bit her lip.

"Sarah, come on, you are the smartest person I know, senior year will be hard on the rest of us, not you. You'll do amazing."

"It's not about that, my Mom thinks I'm mostly considering it to be with you. Which is not a complete lie but…"

"She doesn't want you to." Connor sighed. He honestly didn't know how he'd be able to win Susan Reese over. "Because of me?"

"I love you." Sarah spoke softly, staring at him. "But she thinks maybe it's a little too much, that I need to focus in school and then when she saw the bags..."

Connor huffed. "Sarah, I wasn't trying…"

"I know, but to her it means something Connor and it does to me too, you know we don't struggle with money or anything but sometimes it's not easy to come by, especially with Jason. My Mom has worked hard for all she has."

"And I haven't…" He said, defensively.

" No, that's not what I meant…" She said quickly.

"No, I get it, you know what? I thought we were passed that Sarah, I thought I'd proven myself enough to you and your Mom that this isn't remotely about money…"

"I know it's not, but it's a thing…" She argued.

"Because I'm Connor Rhodes?" They hadn't realized they had started to raise their voices until they saw people stop by them, including Will and Jay.

"Guys, everything okay?" Will asked, shooting a worried glance Sarah's way.

"It's fine." Connor said before Sarah could reply, he pulled away from her.

"Connor, where are you going?" She pleaded but he was gone to the end of the hallway before she could stop him.

"What just happened Reese?"

"Is his Mom okay?" Jay asked worriedly, glancing back at Connor. Sarah didn't want to look at the boys, her head was pounding now.

* * *

She didn't see him again until they had English at the end of the day. Sarah could barely focus on her test as her eyes wandered over to where Connor sat. "Everything okay Miss Reese?" The teacher was now looking at her suspiciously.

"Yes, it's fine. Sorry." She spoke, Connor glanced over at her instantly.

"Well then, go back to your test." Sarah did as she was told but her mind was going off. They had been dating for six months and Connor hadn't gone over the top with her because she had insisted early on that she had wanted the relationship to be about them and not the fact that there was an important gap between them regarding money and he'd been respectful about it. She was sure he hadn't meant anything by it, still she had gone and put herself in that situation by going into the store.

Insecurities began to fill her. Senior year wasn't still a sealed deal and she still had to focus on school and Jason.

Jason, that was another reason she was still not sure she wanted to skip a grade. She'd graduate early and college would be up next which also meant having to leave her brother behind. She shook the thoughts away as she stared at the clock on the wall and her half done test.

Forget about senior year, she had to survive this week first.

"Okay, What is going on with the two of you?" Natalie asked as Connor grabbed on his bag after he had handed in his test. "Will said he saw you and Sarah argue outside the cafeteria."

"It's nothing Natalie." Connor put out. Nat didn't back down though, she was almost nine months pregnant and emotional. He didn't want to mess with her.

"Connor, hey it's me." Her voice softened. "You can talk to me."

Connor saw Sarah throw a glance his way but he knew she had to go get Jason and left the room before he could move. Connor hung his head down as he turned to his best he was done telling her what had happened, Natalie chew on her inner cheek. "Okay, so this was going bound to happen."

Connor raised an eyebrow up. "What do you mean?"

"Well, money is always an issue Connor, look at your Mom and Chris. I mean Hermann wasn't happy the moment your Mom bought Henry a car and no matter how hard they try to pretend it's not an issue. It is."

"I don't want my relationship to be determined by the fact that I'm a Rhodes, it's what always screws everything over. It did for my Mom and Chris."

"Exactly, so you let Sarah lay out the rules, I mean you can't just tell the girl to use your platinum card like it's nothing. Sarah's not like that, haven't you learned that already?"

"I just wanted to do something nice for her. If she skips the year then, this will be one of her last dances Nat. I don't want her to miss out on anything."

* * *

"So, are you going to tell me what's going on with you and Rhodes?" WIll asked Sarah as he pushed on his step and caught up with her across the way to Jason's building. Sarah just kept walking. "Did he do something?"

Sarah bit her lip. She wasn't sure if she should tell Will about it, she had already made the mistake to mention it to her Mom, Will was like a big brother to her and especially like with Susan, Connor and money were touchy subjects.

"No, he didn't do anything Will." Sarah replied. "We just had a disagreement."

"Well it looked like a big one Reese." WIll pressed on worriedly.

"I'm handling it. I promise." She said with a smile as they both stopped to wait for Mary and Jason who were waking over.

"Well I'm here if you need me Sarah, you know that."

"Yeah, I do thank you." Sarah smiled. Will waved at Jason.

"I'll see you at the bus tomorrow." WIll said as he greeted the little boy and Jason made a comment about James coming to get them soon because it wasn't bus day.

Yeah, Thursdays and Tuesday's were bus day. That was an agreement Sarah had come to with James, all parties had seemed to be glad by the arrangement, especially Jason. He then looked up to see Connor before either Sarah or Will had. "I'll see you guys then?" WIll spoke with a glance at Connor.

James had just appeared by the corner when Connor asked Sarah if they could talk. They actually had study group at his house later for the maths final but Natalie and Henry would be at the house before her.

It was not the time or the place.

And James was giving her a look so she had to go get in the car now. Connor walked her over reluctantly and opened the back door for her and Jason to get in as James greeted him.

When he turned back, Henry and Nat were waiting for him. He'd just have to find a way to talk to Sarah that afternoon.

"Where are you…?" Natalie attempted to ask as Connor practically dashed from the room.

Henry looked out the window that Connor just had and saw what had their best friend in a rush. "Looks like Sarah's just arrived."

"Good, I hope they sort out their 'disagreement'" She said, "Will told me Sarah wouldn't budge about it."

"I hope she doesn't bottle it up. But good luck to her. Money and Connor are not a good match in a conversation." Henry let out a long suffering sigh.

"Okay, I gotta go to the bathroom." Nat declared and Henry nearly fell over to help her up. She sent him a now well used glare to tell him to politely back off but he couldn't help it. He was protective.

Henry was left tapping his pencil on the textbook alone in the room when a knock came to the door and Claire looked in around inside. "Hey Henry. Mind if I come in?"

"Please. Give me an excuse not to study for a few minutes." Henry smiled but he watched her come into the room. The invisible weight on her shoulders was still there as she cautiously took slow steps.

She had her own finals last week and they had texted a bit but he got the feeling that she was avoiding him.

"How is the last bit of study going?" She asked, while she stayed standing, almost watching the door.

"Good." He said, then staying silent until she finally met his eyes. "How are things with you?" He asked, not meaning study or work but hoping she understood that he was worried about her nearly backtracking to the place she was in a year ago and the entire Elizabeth, Cornelius, Connor trainwreck of a situation.

She nodded, "Okay, I've been spending more time with Kim, away from the city as much as I can really, avoid temptation and all that. Connor's knee is doing better and Mom isn't as stressed anymore. There's still nothing I can do about anything with her though so…" She shrugged, giving him a sad smile.

"You're here. I think that counts for a lot more than you think." He told her.

"How do you always know what to say?" She wondered aloud, "Sometimes I forget you're sixteen..."

Natalie made her re-entrance and Henry watched as Claire flipped a switch, stood straighter, flicked her long hair over her shoulder and resumed her act of having it all together.

"Nat, hey! How is your back? Where is that brother of mine anyway?"

He wanted to argue that he was more than a sixteen year old kid but he never got his chance. Maybe it was for the best. "Outside with Sarah. Probably arguing." Natalie said. "My back...ugh." She moaned before sitting down again.

"Arguing? Those two?"

"Yep. Money." Natalie stated.

"Oh, I hope this isn't because I offered the girls their dresses for free." Claire panicked.

"Nope, it was because before that Connor offered for her to practically take his credit card and go wild, or at least that's how it probably sounded."

Claire winced, "Right. Well I am clearing out before I make it worse, call me if you need anything, Katie is making healthy food but I have a stash of chocolate in my room if you're in the mood." She winked as she left.

Natalie turned to Henry. "So...you two always have secret conversations when no one else is around?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Henry, this is awesome, you could win her over in no time." Natalie practically cheered but it only made it worse. "How could that not matter?"

"No I wouldn't." He couldn't change his age could he? He could only he the guy she poured her heart out to.

"Why not?" Natalie inquired. "I mean you two are close. You just have to.."

"She's meant to be with someone that isn't me." Henry huffed. "Someone older and someone who's not her brother's best friend. Someone better."

* * *

"Connor. Hey." Sarah said, as Connor was in front of her nearly before she got out of James's car.

He knew that tone. And he didn't like it one bit. "Hey, we're just taking a little break. I was wondering if we could talk?"

His eyes were piercing through her. "Maybe go up to my room?" Thankfully James was already by the corner when he spoke. Sarah bit her lip.

"How about the tree house?"

He could work with that.

He led her over to the back of the house, they had been hanging out more outside lately and Sarah had liked the tree house. Connor had admitted to her that his father had had it built for him when he was younger. It was nearly perfect, not as crooked or leaned over like the one at Henry's house.

They climbed up the steps, Connor behind Sarah and stood there in silence for a minute."I'm sorry that I stormed off earlier."

Sarah turned around, pacing and holding on to the railing. "I have another meeting with Mr. Charles on Friday."

"Okay…"

"I need to give him my answer then." She told him. Connor then walked and stood beside her, his hand almost touching hers.

"Sarah. I'm sorry, I'm an idiot okay? But you have to believe me when I tell you I didn't mean for it to sound like it did. I know money is a big deal, I mean look at my Mom and Chris, but I don't want that to be us. Please."

"I'm paying Claire for my dress. Hermann had already said he's going to need more people for the summer."

"But what about the Baylor program?" He asked. Sarah sighed, turning to look at him.

"I'm not going to get it, and even if I did. My Mom is taking Jason to Kim's ranch over the weekend and if he likes it, I wouldn't want for him to miss out on an amazing opportunity because of me."

"Wait, since when are you not getting in?" He asked. "They would be idiots not to have you, come on, you are fifteen and will be a senior…."

"Which is also not a done deal." She reminded him.

"Still, you'll get in." He said, his hands were now on her shoulders. "And about Jason, we'll figure that out."

She smiled at him, thankfully. "I'm still paying Claire."

"Okay." He said with a sigh. "What?"

"This conversation isn't over."

"I didn't think it was…." He said, biting his bottom lip."But Sarah, I can prove to you that us, our relationship, I will never let it be about money, okay? I just wanted to do something nice for you, for the dance."

"And you couldn't just get me flowers?" She inquired.

"Okay, point taken, but to my defense, it was my sister who insisted on the dress."

"Right but that's why I'm paying it back." She told him.

"Fine." Connor smiled. "I'll go with you tomorrow to talk to Chris."

"Okay." She agreed. "But Connor, you know that no matter what, this is going to continue to come up."

"Right, but we'll talk about it? Like we did on you meeting my friends or the party?" He piped up, pulling her closer and tracing a hand down her cheek. "And if I say something stupid or insist about it, will you tell me?"

"Deal." She said with a light smile, his lips were now ghosting over hers, she leaned closer so that they finally connected them. "We should, uh, get back, they're going to be wondering where we are." Sarah breathed breaking the kiss, she tried to tidy up herself a bit as he grinned at her and offered his hand to climb down.

They both knew this wasn't over, but at least they could put it aside for now and focus on getting through these last few days.

They lasted an hour before Henry gave up and went in search of the chocolate. Claire came through with plenty to go around as the group made last minute notes and tested each other.

And Sarah could see herself doing this with ease for the next year. Studying with their little group, going through senior year together, but a part of her was still wondering if she'd miss out on things with Emily and Jay and Monique and what junior year had in store.

Everyone seemed to think it was a good idea, but Sarah was still torn.

They finally all finished later on, figuring a good rest was needed before their exams the next day. Henry all but linked poor Nat to the door and into his car and Sarah got into Connor's car.

"Anything you want to talk about?" Connor asked, making Sarah jump, they were half way home but she was so far into her own thoughts that she forgot he was beside her. She was trying to make a pro and con list in her head. Should she move or not.

Her Mom's words, her own worries still plagued her. She loved Connor, but what if they didn't last, as much as she didn't want to think about it. What if they ended up breaking up for any reason and she jumped ahead in life to spend time with her boyfriend at 15, completely missing out on a year of highschool and a chance to grow as her own person.

But then she flipped the coin in her head and wondered if she was just scared of making a big change again.

"I don't want to skip a grade because of you." She blurted out.

"Ouch?" He laughed but she jumped into clarify.

"I just...I want to make this decision for me you know? What's best for me. Practically every other decision in my life has never been about me. We move to Chicago for my Mom, I picked Gaffney for Jason, and I don't want to move to be with you and then have it be the wrong decision…"

Connor stayed quiet and Sarah was afraid she had gone too far, had she implied that she was thinking about them breaking up?

"How do you feel about not moving up to senior year?" He asked.

"I don't know."

"Like if you just turn up in September as a junior…?"

"I'd feel...comfortable? I don't know, that would be good, normal,." She replied, nodding her head. "But…"

"But?" He asked.

"I'd be too comfortable? I'd be missing out on all the more interesting subjects and school would be more exciting and then I guess I would know I was smart…" she admitted, playing with the sleeves of her sweater.

"I think you don't give yourself enough credit Babe. Everyone thinks you're amazing except for you."

"But then I'd have to think about going to college…"

"There are plenty here in Chicago so you can stay near Jason and what do you think about college anyway?"

"It's exciting….but terrifying."

Connor pulled into her driveway as she spoke. "Well for what's it's worth, I'd love to have you class all the time. But like you said, make the decision for you."

"I love you." She whispered.

"It's a good thing I love you too huh?" He smirked before reaching over to kiss her.

She wondered how she was so lucky to have him and also now panicking about what she would ever do without him. She rested her forehead against his as she felt her breathing sync with his.

She didn't want to ever think of them as not together when she had moments as perfect as this with him.

* * *

"I am counting the days until Friday!" Natalie stated as she huffed into her seat in the cafeteria that Wednesday. They were officially half-way through the exam week from hell. "I don't care if I'm extremely pregnant, Claire had this amazing dress made for me that doesn't make me look like some sort of hippo and I'm just so excited for the dance on Friday, just so you all know." She declared to the entire table before sighing and lying her head on her hands. "And now I'm taking a nap." She mumbled.

All she got in reply were protests that she in no way resembled a hippopotamus.

"Ugh, do we have to go?" Henry asked, "All I want to do after this week is sleep for a few days."

"Yes you have to go, it's going to be my last night of freedom." Nat told him.

"Yeah but not everyone is going, right?" Henry asked, looking around.

"Are you crazy, you think I'm missing a dance?" Emily asked. "Plus _everyone_ is going. Sure the seniors have prom but we have like, us, right?"

At the mention of seniors, Natalie's mood shifted, earlier in the year she had hoped to go to the dance with Jeff, she had hopes and dreams of so many things and now the father of her child had an uncertain future ahead of him. He'd told her he had wanted to do something meaningful with his life, like joining the Army which he was still deciding on.

"Nat?" Connor asked, his frown had turned to worry. "Everything okay?"

"Fine." She replied, trying to compose herself and for some reason avoiding Will's gaze, he hadn't looked up from his phone much.

Actually, Natalie hadn't seen him be around Nina that much lately, not that she had wanted to seem to be snooping around but she couldn't help it.

By the end of the day, it had seemed everyone, including Henry had survived Downey's final so Molly's was up as soon as the bell rang.

April who had seemed to have joined their little group more and more lately had gone too.

"Uh, you all look like you could use a pick me up." Chris piped up from behind the counter as the kids arrived. He railed up the waiters Connor and Henry to help with their much deserved milkshakes, Sarah then took a tray from Connor.

"I need to start practicing, right?" She whispered to him and he only nodded.

Later as they all had began to clear up and heading home to study, Chris insisted Henry to drive Natalie, Sarah and April but then the younger girl asked them to wait for a bit and with Connor beside her, turned to Chris.

"What's up kiddos?" Hermann asked, eying both Sarah and Connor carefully as he wiped the counter clean.

"Okay, Chris, thing is…"

"Wait, no, do I want to hear this?" He asked, fearing he might have yet another teen pregnancy in his hands.

"I was just thinking about asking you for a job for the summer." Sarah was quickly to add when he saw how panicked he looked.

"Oh, but wait aren't you going to Texas?"

"I might not go." Sarah said, looking down at her feet.

"And why the hell not, you are smart Sarah, and you worked hard for it, why wouldn't you get it?"

"That's what I keep telling her." Connor said.

"I haven't even heard anything, and I could really use the experience anyway."

"Oh well first jobs are important." Chris said with a grin. "If you are sure I can give you a couple shifts, pay isn't much but tips are a plus."

Sarah turned to Connor with a smile as Chris spoke. "You'll teach her?"

"Yeah, she's a fast learner."

"Alright, come find me over the weekend and we'll talk? All I want the two of you to do is focus on finals these few days left, alright?"

"You are the best Hermann, thank you!" Sarah smirked, skipping behind the counter and hugging him. "Oh, I should go, I'll see you tomorrow?" She told Connor with a quick kiss.

"Too much sugar for that one." Chris laughed as he watched her breeze through the door. Connor sighed, turning to Chris. "Is she really not going on that program?"

"She hasn't heard anything just yet."

"But thinks she won't get in?"

"You know Sarah, she worries but she'll get it." He said. Chris could read him though.

"And you? Where do you stand with all of it?"

"What do you mean?" Connor perked up from his seat at the counter.

"I was a kid too Connor, 7 weeks is a long time."

Connor shrugged. "I'll be fine."

"I said that once and it didn't turn out like I expected." Chris said. His words hadn't gone missed by Connor. "Let's just say that if you are feeling unsure about the whole thing, you should tell Sarah how you feel."

"I don't want her to want to stay because of me." Connor said.

"So, there _is_ something bothering you."

"I just figured we'd be able to do more together this summer, but if she goes, I'll barley get to see her."

"I feel you kiddo." Chris smiled and nudged his arm. "Is there something else?"

"She says she doesn't want to skip a grade because of me, and I don't want her to either, but how can I tell her about how I'm feeling? with that or Baylor, I don't want her to make some wrong decision because of me."

"It's tricky. Hmmm I'm glad I'm not 16 anymore. I'll tell you that much."

"Thanks?"

"I mean it with all the love possible Connor. Sometimes we all have to make certain decisions to ensure those we care about make some of their own."

"So, I shouldn't tell her?" Connor sighed.

"Maybe just see whether she's going and then talk?"

"Does that even work?"

"Sometimes."

* * *

"Nat? You okay?" Will asked as he walked down the hallway the next morning and caught sight of a very pregnant Natalie crying behind her locker door. He looked over his shoulder quickly to make sure that Nina didn't see.

"Oh...Will." She jumped and quickly wiped her eyes.

"Nat? Is it the baby? Jeff?" He didn't mean to but he put his hand on her back and along with the locker door provided her with a shield from the world.

"No! It's not me. I'm just emotional lately. And April was crying…." She wiped at her eyes.

"April?" Will asked.

"Yeah, Tate broke up with her and she told me but she started crying, so now I can't stop crying. I'm a mess." He sighed in relief that it wasn't anything serious but wanted to tell her that she was perfect. She shook her head, "It's just exams and well this little guy is due end of next week…Everything is changing."

"Sure is." He nodded.

"Sorry, enough of me, how are you? I haven't seen you around a lot, what have you been up to?"

He immediately felt guilty, he _had_ , maybe, been avoiding her a little bit, but it seemed to make Nina happy. Even if he did have to keep reminding him that his loyalties should like with Nina and not Nat anymore. He had also been studying more since hockey had finished.

"I've been hitting the books I guess." He shrugged, but then he looked at her and sucked right back into her eyes and the world they used to have before Jeff. "And I...eh...there's this engineering firm, big company and they're running an internship for high school students over the summer, I'm hoping to get in."

"Will! That's fantastic! You will totally get in!" She beamed, before reaching up to kiss him on the cheek and hug him as tightly as she could.

"I haven't got in yet Nat." He told her, but he didn't move away as much as he probably should have.

"Sorry, hormones. You will, you've always been fascinated by those kind of things, you have to tell me the second you get in!"

He glanced down at his shoes before meeting her eyes again, "I will."

"Everyone is having such amazing summers. Sarah is going to end up going to Texas whether she thinks she will or not, Monique is going on holiday with her family and April is working at that summer camp and now you and this job? Me, I'm popping out a baby."

"Hey, Natalie, come on, you're going to be a great Mom." He told her.

The bell rang before he could say anything else, but Natalie straightened herself up and they went their separate ways for class.

* * *

 **Rheese and Manstead feels! Ready for the New Year? 3,2,1..**


	49. Chapter 49

**Holding On.**

 **A/N: It's a New Year, let's see what Rheese is up to.**

 **Chapter 49**

Sarah was fearing Friday, she was sure to be making one of the biggest decisions of her life. Connor had offered to walk her over to Mr. Charles's office where her Mom would for sure be already, the school was practically deserted when they went around the corner, the end of the school year was eminent and the rest of their friends had either gone to get ready for the dance or gone on holiday.

"Sarah, I can hear you mind going." Connor said as he pulled on her hand gently.

"Yeah, and what's it telling you?" She asked sighing and turning to look at him.

Connor bit his lip in thought. "That you should do whatever you think it's best." He said moving a strand of hair from her face. "It's your decision."

"Either way, I'm going to disappoint someone." Sarah admitted. She hadn't even thought of what she said, Connor's eyes were focused on hers. "I mean..."

"Come here." He pulled her over to an empty classroom and closed the door behind him, Sarah almost chided him when he closed in the space between them.

"Connor…"

"Sarah…" He mocked her tone. "Listen to me, you said yourself that you have never been able to decide on what you want to do, It's always been up to others…"

"Yeah, but my Mom.." Sarah wanted to cry, she had been stressing over exams, Baylor, the dance...

"Close your eyes." Connor instructed as she rambled on. She shot him a look. "Come on." He went in behind her and touched her neck tenderly, then gave her a light kiss on the cheek. "Relax babe, whatever you decide, and we're all going to support you no matter what."

He walked her as far as the door of Mr. Charles's office, her Mom was already inside. "I'll see you later?" He said referring to the dance, he was going to pick her up in a few hours. In a few hours she would have decided if she would have one or two more dances, one prom, two years with Monique, Jay and Emily or one more with Connor, Natalie and Henry. "You've got this Sarah, I promise."

"Sarah." Daniel's voice came from behind them as Susan Reese stood up as soon as she saw her daughter. "Please come in."

Sarah looked at Connor one last time, he gave her a light nod and a smile as she turned around to enter the office.

And just like she had done the first time she had kissed Connor, she took a leap of faith and made this her own decision.

He picked her up later, she hadn't told him what she had decided and he didn't want to push. He showed up in a black sleeved shirt and grey khaki pants. This dance wasn't as fancy as the one in December, the weather wasn't up for it, but Sarah's floral dressed looked just as lovely. "This is for you." He said, handing her a flower clip for her hair.

She could had melted right there if it wasn't for Susan watching. "Claire helped me pick it out." He commented as he helped her put it on, it complemented her dress perfectly.

* * *

"Will! There's a girl here for you!" His Dad shouted while he took a break from pounding on the bathroom door for Jay to clear out and let him get ready for the dance.

He checked his phone as he went to see who his caller was, wondering if Nat had showed up unannounced.

His Dad had disappeared back to the TV. leaving the door open and a sad looking Nina standing in the doorway.

Will swallowed, putting his phone away, why hadn't he immediately thought of his girlfriend? He also made a mental note to have her over more often so she wouldn't feel like a stranger turning up at his house.

"Hey Nina." He gave her an easy smile and leaned in for a kiss.

Alarm bells started ringing in his head the second she turned her head to offer him her cheek instead.

"What's up? The dance isn't for a few hours." He said

"Will. I think it's better if I don't go to the dance with you."

"Nina, what are you talking about?" He could hear her take a breath. Were those tears in her eyes?

"Do you still like Natalie?" She sniffed.

For one thing, Will didn't know that she knew about his feelings for Natalie before. But he was over it now, he was sure of it.

Wasn't he?

He was blindsided by the question.

"What are you talking about Nina?"

"Doris saw you two, the other morning. I thought you were over her."

"What? No, I'm not. I mean I am. Over her."

"Well the two of you looked cozy. Do you let all your friends kiss you like that?"

"Nina, this is crazy, she kissed my cheek! And this is Doris we're talking about, what's brought all this on?"

Nina just stared at her shoes. "I thought...I thought that you would get over her, I thought that it wasn't as obvious but it's not just all in my head anymore Will. Everyone knows. That I like you and you like Natalie and Natalie doesn't know who she likes anymore."

"Yeah but I wouldn't cheat on you."

"That's the sad part Will. You're a good guy. You _wouldn't_ cheat on me. But I'm not her and whether you know it or not, you're always going to want her."

"Nina, what are you saying?

"I don't think I should go to the dance with you, because I think we need to break up."

"Nina…" He sighed. "Is there anything I can do to change your mind?" The words of _I'm not in love with Nat_ just caught in his throat.

"Did you ever really like me?" She was definitely crying now.

"Of course I did, I _do_." He told her.

"As anything other than someone to just get your mind off of her?" She shot and Will flinched at her words. He hadn't been fair with her, had he? He had just expected her to distract him long enough to move on. But had grown fond of Nina, there was no drama or heartache involved. Until now.

"I didn't mean for it all to be like this Nina, I care about you, I really do."

She sniffed again and he hated himself for making a great girl like her cry because of his own stupidity.

"Have a good summer Will." She stepped out of the door and was gone while he realised he couldn't even fight for her. Not when his heart wasn't really in it.

The bathroom door opened, "Bathroom's free man." Jay said before stopping to look at his brother slumped against the wall. "What's up?"

Will shook his head, "That was Nina. I think we just broke up."

"What?"

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry Will."

"Me too bro." He laughed humorlessly, "Looks like there's no dance for me tonight."

"No, you should still come, it'd be good for you."

"Nah, I don't think so." He rubbed his forehead. "The hospital had asked if I was free to volunteer this evening, I think I'll just head on over there."

They both knew his ever pressing need to be at that hospital was to feel closer to their Mom, but neither boy commented on it.

"Okay, if you're sure."

Will nodded before grabbing his keys, "Hey man, people didn't think I was with Nina because of Natalie right?"

Jay waited too long before replying, "No."

Will swallowed hard.

"Don't beat yourself up about it." Jay told him.

"Yeah but what if Nina goes to the dance and Nat's going too? Natalie doesn't need any stress right now. What if Nina or Doris or someone brings it up."

"Chill, it sounds like you're the one getting stressed about it." Jay replied, "That wouldn't happen."

"But what if it did? I don't want Nat to get hurt because of me."

"What are you going to do? Call her up to tell her your girlfriend just broke up with you?" Jay nearly laughed.

"No." Will shot back. "But maybe I should go to the dance, act as a buffer?" His phone buzzed, the charge nurse replied saying she was looking forward to him helping out that evening. "Nevermind, I have to go to the hospital."

"Well then tell Nina to not make a big deal out of it?" Will gave him a disbelieving look, "Okay, okay, but I never said I was good at giving advice, look at me, I'm as single as you."

"I don't want to ruin Nat's last dance." Will said, "No, I've got it, I'll just stop off on my way to the hospital, casually slip the break up into conversation, tell her to watch out for Doris and any gossips right? I'll send Rhodes and Herrmann a message, they'll take care of her at the dance, make sure nobody upsets her."

"Stopping off at her house?" Jay rose his eyebrows.

Will shrugged, okay so maybe he wanted to see her, talk to her. "I'm her friend, I can call over." He argued.

"I don't mean to be mean, but I think Nina has a point about you and Nat." Jay said, before sighing, patting him on the shoulder and retreating back upstairs.

* * *

"Oh look at my baby boy! You look so handsome!" Cindy crooned as she straightened Henry's tie.

"Mom." He groaned, pushing her hand away, "I'm not a baby anymore."

"Hey, what's gotten into you?" Cindy asked, placing a hand on his cheek, at the sudden change in demeanor.

"I'm just tired as people seeing me as this little kid okay? I'm not twelve years old anymore, I'm nearly seventeen and I'm going to be captain of the hockey team next semester."

"I know, I just get all sentimental looking at you growing up." His Mom said. "You were my first baby, Can you blame me?"

Henry sighed, there was no point taking his frustrations out on his Mom, "I know. But have you ever wanted to be older Mom? You know be more mature and make adult decisions and being taken seriously…?"

His Mom stood up straight and put her hands on her hips, "Henry Lee Herrmann, is this about a girl? Because look at Natalie, you will not be making any adult decisions any time soon young man. Are you seeing someone? Are you being safe?"

Henry felt himself blush bright red, "Mom!" He spluttered. But he couldn't lie could he? It technically was about a girl. "No I'm not sleeping with anyone, ugh!"

"Well I'm your mother, I was young too once."

"Uh please Mom eww." He groaned even more.

She sighed, but a smile played on her lips from her son's reaction, "So...what is this about then?"

"I just…" Henry shrugged, "What if you like someone and they don't see you for you, they see you as this little kid who happens to be a good listener? What happens when you are not good enough to even be noticed for anything more than _Little Henry Herrmann?"_ Henry swore time froze for a split second because he had made a fatal mistake. There was only one person in the world who called him that and his Mom knew it. Claire Rhodes.

Henry wanted the floor to swallow him up. It was bad enough that a lot of his friends seemed to have figured it out, but now his Mom knew too.

"Hey kid, you ready? You sure you don't mind riding to this dance with your old man?" His Dad called as he walked down the hallway fixing his own tie, getting ready for an evening of chaperoning.

"Mom, _please don't tell Dad."_ He whispered urgently under his breath. Because if his Mom told his Dad, his Dad would tell Elizabeth and Elizabeth would tell Claire or Connor or both and Henry's life would be over.

"Nah Dad I don't mind, it's not like I have anyone to impress. But we're all going to help Nat and Jay, have a good time."

"Alright, but don't you usually go with Natalie?"

"I told you at the diner this morning, her Mom is chaperoning and driving her there, they're watching her around the clock now. Her due date _is_ next week."

"I know that." His Dad retorted, "Hey Honey, grab a picture of us, two handsome looking Herrmann's hey?" His Dad smiled, throwing an arm around Henry just as he'd gotten a text, from Will of all people who'd told him to keep an eye on Natalie and watch out for Doris, "Henry?" His Mom gave him a wink right before she took the picture. He could only hope his secret was safe but right now he had more important things to worry about. _What had Will meant?_

* * *

Will chastised himself as he pulled up near Natalie's house, it was selfish to hope that Natalie would decide not to go to the dance and that they could spend time together.

But he couldn't help it.

Natalie had spent years driving him crazy, making him act crazy and having him fall for her when it was too late. He couldn't help but be drawn to her.

But it wasn't fair to anybody. Not her, not him, and certainly not Nina. But he couldn't help it.

He was still walking up to her door.

"Will?" Her Mom sounded surprised as she opened the door. "We were just leaving, are...you here for Natalie?"

Her Mom sounded as about as confused as he was as to why he was there.

"Oh I'm not her date or anything…" He certainly wasn't dressed for the part. "I just…I thought I'd call by, see how things are…?"

Her Mom didn't buy it, neither did he, but she let him in either way. "Natalie, you have a visitor!"

A few seconds went by before Natalie appeared in the hallway, "That's great Mom." She huffed, placing both hands on her bump. "But I think my waters have just broke."

Connor and Sarah were walking to the main entrance of the gym, when he got a text from Halstead asking him to keep an eye on Nat, of course he was keeping an eye on Natalie anyway. "What's wrong?" Sarah asked, noticing his behavior. Connor showed her the text.

"Oh, good you are both here." Emily piped up before they could say another word. "There's Jay. Come on."

"Hey, uh, where's Will?" Sarah asked the youngest Halstead brother once they had caught up with him by a table.

"At the hospital." Jay said with a shrug. "This isn't a good year for the Halstead brothers, I'll tell you that."

"Huh?"

"Nina just broke up with him." Jay said.

"Oh, no…" Sarah said. "Is he okay?"

"He's doing what he does best, focusing on other things. I'm guessing with time, he'll be fine."

"Poor WIll, When is Henry getting here? I wish Monique wasn't already half across the country. It was meant to be a great night." Emily sighed. "And it's starting to suck."

Even April had decided to skip the dance and better took on babysiting to make enough money for camp over the summer. Ethan was there though but he had decided to take upon himself to watch the others like a hawk, he knew these dances and just how heavy they could get, his parents were in the committee. Sarah figured Ethan would make a great principal one day, although she wasn't sure if she had ever heard him say what he was doing after high school, Emily had commented on him joining the Navy.

As soon as Henry arrived Sarah could see there was something off with him too. "Oh, I thought Nat would be here by now." He said as he stood with them and the group greeted Hermann who winked at them and joined other parents. "I just got this real weird text from Will."

Connor raised an eyebrow. "You too?"

"What do you mean?" Henry asked.

"Don't ask me, I texted Nat just to make sure but haven't heard back." Connor said.

"Should we go see her?" Henry replied. "I'm worried."

"You know Halstead, he's probably not coming and wants to keep an eye on her." Connor replied, he really didn't want to ruin the night for Sarah.

"Yeah, you are probably right." Henry shrugged. "Plus, she'd kill us if she's simply running late, I don't want to mess with Nat and her hormones."

Another half an hour passed and there was still no sign of Nat or her Mom but Sarah tried to brush the odd feeling that something was wrong. Still, she tried to enjoy the dance as much as she could and after having been dragged around by Emily, she went in search of Connor who she'd lost from sight.

"Hey," She said with a smile as she handed him a drink, his eyes were focused on the screen of his phone.

"Sorry, thanks babe." He said, leaning to kiss her cheek as he took the cup from her. "Where are Emily and Jay?"

"Not sure." She said. "I kind of lost them. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's just Nat, she's not answering."

"Maybe she wasn't feeling really up to it and her Mom didn't want her to stay by herself?"

"Yeah, you are probably right." Connor sighed, shoving the phone back to his pocket. "If something was wrong, we've would have heard about it already, right?"

Do you want to dance?" He said with a smile.

Sarah agreed and took his hand in hers just as a slow song had come on, Connor pulled her as close as possible and she leaned into him. They stayed like that for as long as the music lasted and then Sarah stopped. "Come on, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Okay." They left the gym, carefully moving up to a hallway Connor didn't recognize right away. Then he did.

"You gave me this 6 months ago." Sarah said pointing to the leather bracelet on her wrist. "Almost to the date."

Oh yeah, it was supposed to be their 6 months anniversary soon and Connor was already planning something for them to do, he just hoped that Baylor didn't beat him to it.

"How could I forget?" Connor mused, pulling her close. "Best decision I have ever made."

"Really?"

"Yep. These have been the best six months of my life, even with all that's happened. Really Sarah if it wasn't for you, I'd still be getting into fights and letting my temper get the best of me." He had now his hands on both of her cheeks. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." Sarah echoed. "And you have to give yourself credit too Connor, who would have thought you'd end up friends with Will?"

"Yeah, that happened to be the biggest surprise of all huh?"

"And that you get along better with Claire. I'm proud of you."

"And you Sarah Reese? You realized being smart is a gift, not a curse and that you can have a life and still be a good sister, I'm proud of you too."

"We've grown up a lot huh?"

"I guess, although it's still sucks." He admitted.

"Yeah, but at least we're not alone." Sarah said as he leaned to kiss her. Suddenly Connor pulled apart to grab his phone which was ringing non stop. "What is it?"

Oddly, Will Halstead was calling him. And he'd already missed a couple calls.

"Halstead?" Connor spoke into the phone. He just hoped that Will wasn't drunk somewhere pining after Natalie and that's why he was calling him.

"Why the hell weren't you picking up? Natalie is having the baby, you need to get here."

* * *

 **Ohhh soo Nat's having the baby, are they all ready for this?**


	50. Chapter 50

**Holding On**

 **A/N: Happy Chicago Day! There was no chapter Saturday and probably will be like that for a while from now on of us only posting Wednesday as we are running low on written chapters,**

 **Anyhow, who's ready for Owen's birth.**

 **Chapter 50**

"Yes, yes, we're on the way to the hospital, meet us there. Cindy said she'll come and collect the kids." Carol Manning spoke to her husband over the speaker in her car as Will sat in the backseat with Natalie.

Nat swapped between moaning in pain and squeezing Will's hand to crying in fear, "I can't do this. Why did I think I could do this?"

"Nat, try to stay calm okay?" He tried, pushing her hair off her forehead.

"Calm! Easy for you to say, you're not having a baby….arrgh." She bent forward as another contraction hit.

"Right. Sorry." He told himself more than her, "You've got this okay? You're the strongest person I know."

The tears started spilling from her eyes as she straightened up and laid her head back against the seat. "Thank you Will."

"And everyone's here for you okay? And anything you need, I'm here." He gave her hand a small squeeze.

Her Mom butted in, telling Natalie to breathe properly and count the time between the contractions as if being in labour was normal like going to the grocery store.

"I'm scared Will." Natalie admitted in a whisper as her Mom pulled the car into the hospital bay.

"Hey, hey." He said softly, wiping her tears away and cradling her face in his hands as her Mom was distracted getting the bags out of the trunk. "You're going to do great. And you're going to meet your little boy soon. Everything will be okay, I promise."

She stared at him with rapt attention in her big brown eyes and if he wasn't in love with her before, he was a total goner now.

But the moment was ruined when her mother appeared at Natalie's door, already with a doctor and wheelchair at the ready. Will climbed out behind her, ready to wave goodbye but she grabbed his hand and arm with both hands.

"Please don't leave yet."

"I'm not going anywhere." He promised as he followed alongside her up to the maternity ward.

The doctor explained where they were going and what was happening, only being interrupted by Nat's Mom who threw her own advice in as well, trying to not look at Will, or her daughter who was clinging to him.

They were wheeled into a room where they got Natalie onto a bed.

"Honey, your Dad will be here soon okay?" Her Mom said, rubbing Natalie's back as another contraction hit. "Do...do you want us to call Jeff?"

"Jeff?" Natalie gasped, looking around after lying back.

The doctor came back in, interrupting her answer, asking for Will to leave so she could examine Natalie and see what progress had been made.

Will took the opportunity to take a breath and frantically ring Rhodes and Herrmann. He didn't know about Jeff, but he knew that Natalie would want her best friends there.

The door opened again as the doctor led Natalie out who was now hooked up to some sort of movable drip, one he had seen his Mom on one too many times.

"Natalie here is going to go for a little walk, see if we can get that baby moving huh?" The doctor told both Will and Nat.

"I'll be right back Honey, your Dad is just outside, he needs the keys to the house, you know him, he'd forget his head if it wasn't screwed on."

"It's fine Mom, go ahead."

The doctors pager beeped, "Well I can't have you wandering around on your own."

"Oh, Will...would you mind?" Natalie asked, looking suddenly vulnerable in her hospital gown.

"Of course." He replied without hesitation, putting his phone back into his pocket.

He took her arm gingerly, suddenly aware that he couldn't overstep, but she sighed and leaned into him, letting him lead her.

The doctor may or may not have caught him with a self-satisfied grin on his lips .

The two boys in the front seat of the car were slightly agitated. Sarah sat in the backseat as Connor drove through Chicago to get to Natalie. Henry had stopped tapping his foot.

"The one night we're not with her!" Henry stated.

"I know." Connor shook his head.

"Guys, you couldn't have known." Sarah tried to calm them down. "Her due date is next week."

"I should have counted prematurity. Max was born early, I should have seen the signs."

Sarah wished that Natalie was there, she would have known how to deal with both of them.

They finally arrived to the hospital, and now Will was the one not answering his phone.

Chris arrived behind them, Nat's Mom had texted him the details, and knew where to find Natalie. He led them to the elevator, arriving the same time as Jeff and his parents.

Connor and Henry locked eyes with Jeff as Chris urged all of them forward, Sarah meanwhile had tried calling her Mom and tell her what had happened.

Will found them all by the hallway that led to Natalie's room, Chris had gone on ahead to talk to Carol. "Will, are you, how are you here?" Henry asked, Will actually looked casually dressed unlike the rest of them. "Were you on a shift?"

"Ah, no I was actually at Nat's when it happened." Wil said.

"Why am I not surprised." Connor mused. "Well, she's lucky you were there. Thanks for taking care of her."

"Of course." Will said, almost defensively. "How was the dance?"

"Oh, it was a total bust." Henry admitted. "Thanks for calling us by the way."

"Don't mention it, I know Natalie would want you guys here."

"And you for sure."

"Yeah, tell that to Jeff, it if wasn't because he was ushered away by his parents, he probably would have punched me." Will admitted. They all watched as Chris walked over.

"Dad, how is she?"

"She's comfortable for now, the baby might not come in a while, you kids should probably have a seat. I'll go and tell your Mom and Lizzie. Sarah should Connor drive you home?"

"No, I already told my Mom, I want to be here for Natalie." Sarah said quickly glancing over at Connor.

"Alright, well, you then make yourselves comfortable. This might take a while."

"Can we see her?" Connor asked.

"In a minute, she's in there with Jeff and her parents." Chris said, his eyes primarily focusing on Will. "You should tell your sister to get herself here kid." he told Connor.

"Ah, I texted her." Henry piped up.

"You texted Claire?"

"Well, yeah I was bored at the dance since the two of you had gone awol." Henry retorted. Connor merely stared at him. "So, yeah Claire and I text."

"Relax Henry…" Connor said, his tone softening. "It was just a question."

"Sorry. I'm just worried about Nat." Henry half lied. Sarah didn't miss the tension building up and while Will went to call Jay, she pulled Connor to the side.

"You okay?" She asked as they sat on the chairs by the end of the halway.

"Yeah, I'm fine, but Hermann is right, I should probably take you home, we don't know how long it's going to be."

"No, I really want to stay, plus I wouldn't want you to not being here when the baby is born." She said. He nodded, and felt as she leaned her head to his shoulder. "She's going to be okay, right?" Sarah asked after a moment.

"Yeah, she will be." Connor said, tracing small circles in her hand.

"Connor…"

"Yeah?"

"I told my Mom and Mr. Charles I want to be a senior next year." Sarah let out, looking up at him. Connor looked at her too, with his deep blue eyes and smiled.

"Is that what you really want?"

"Yeah, at first I had all these doubts on what I'd be missing out or on what it would mean for my Mom now that she thought I was doing it because I was with you but it just means I get to challenge myself more and that's what I want, and even if I graduate at sixteen, I could still take a year or so to take some courses before I decide on what I want to do for the rest of my life, you know? And that way I can be around Jason longer."

There was a momentary silence between them. "Sounds like you'd thought of it for a while."

"Yeah, sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I wanted to be completely sure before I told anyone, even you."

"Of course, but babe, that's amazing, you should be proud of yourself, it doesn't matter what I or anyone else thinks, I'm not going to say that I'm not happy that we'll be together though but it's huge, it really is."

"Yeah and scary." Sarah admitted shyly and Connor leaned to peck her softly on the lips reassuringly. "But I've never felt braver in my life than right now, I mean if Nat can have a baby on her own, then I can do this, right?"

"You are going to do amazing Sarah, trust me." He beamed at her just as Will came down the hall to sit beside them.

"She's going to be okay, right?" Will said more to him than to them but Sarah sat on straight and took his hand.

"Of course." She said with a reassuring smile.

They remained quiet for a little while longer until Henry joined them as well.

Now all that was left to do was wait.

The waiting room got a little crowded when Jeff and his parents came out and Claire arrived. Sarah was just glad there was enough people between Jeff and Will when Natalie asked for Will next.

"I really don't think that's appropriate." Helen, Jeff's mother whispered not so quietly.

"Anyone want anything to eat or drink?" Claire asked, speaking over the older woman, letting Will make a break for Nat's room.

"I saw a vending machine by the door." Henry chipped in a little too loudly, "I'll help, anyone want anything?"

Everyone sat trying to not look at Jeff and his parents for fear of being rude but not wanting to exclude them either.

It would be a long wait.

"Sure I'll have some chips, we didn't get to the buffet table." Sarah offered, just to avert the awkward silence.

"Yeah a couple of waters would be good too, thanks kids." Herrmann said.

They had the food that Henry and Claire wrangled together eaten before Will came back out and a doctor came in to keep an eye on progress.

Then Natalie asked for Connor and Henry. Which seemed to just agitate Helen more.

Connor poked his head out the doorway and beckoned Sarah in. She hesitated, this was a momentous few hours in Natalie's life, she didn't want to intrude.

"Eh...Hi Natalie...I mean I can wait outside…" She said as she slipped into the room, earning herself her own glare from Helen.

"That bracelet means you're one of us. Haven't you learnt that yet?" Natalie smiled.

But then she grabbed Henry and Connor's hands and started breathing too fast. Another contraction so Sarah's argument died on her lips.

Connor looked as freaked out as Sarah felt but Henry jumped to action, leaning Natalie back after the worst and wiping her forehead with a cloth.

"You should have been my birthing partner not my Mom" Natalie joked as Henry then produced a drink with a straw and held it out for Natalie to sip on.

"What? And face the wrath of Helen? No thanks." Henry joked back.

"Ugh she has far too many opinions for a woman who didn't want me to have this baby." Natalie sighed. "How am I not even at 3 centimetres yet?"

Sarah just watched Connor visibly cringe when he realised what his best friend was talking about.

"It's totally normal. You're contractions are still quite a bit apart." Henry told her calmly.

"It doesn't feel like it." Natalie shot him a death glare.

"I'm sure the baby will start moving soon?" He answered meekly. He got her up and helped her walk around the room, Connor would watch just how confident he was, but he couldn't help but worry, Natalie's life was about to change forever in a matter of hours.

Henry offered to stay with Nat as he and Sarah stepped outside. Connor just needed to take a breath.

He had been in and out of hospitals all his life because of Elizabeth but even if this was a happy occasion, he couldn't really shake the odd feeling that something might go wrong.

Another half an hour passed and all of them were anxiously waiting on news on Nat, Henry had remained beside her for as long as they would allow him and Connor did appear with Sarah a few times too, and she made them tell her about the dance and also asked Sarah quietly to keep an eye on Will.

"Mirs. Manning?" The doctor had come out of the room suddenly, asking for Carol, she understood what it meant, the baby was coming. Henry stood up worriedly as Chris wrapped an arm around his shoulder and they both stood beside Connor and Sarah.

All of them holding on a breath.

Sarah could barely believe it was not even 9 pm, but the emotions of the day were beginning to take a toll on her.

Carol had then asked Jeff to come in for a minute and the boy looked back to his parents as he followed her inside the room. He came back a moment later, Will had now remained in the far side of the waiting room with Claire Rhodes.

"Come on honey, you can do it, I know you can, slow breaths now." Carol told her daughter rubbing on her back as Natalie struggled through yet another contraction. "That's it, let the epidural help honey, it's almost over, I promise."

Natalie took a deep breath and pushed again tiredly, how did her Mom and Cindy manage to do this so many times she didn't have a clue, to her, they were the bravest women in the world. "One more Natalie, you are doing great. Slow now." Dr. Mars said sweetly as she looked up from her spot. "This little guy wants to meet us soon. Do you have a name for him yet?"

Natalie bit her lip as another contraction hit. "Alright Nat, I can see the head, slow pushes now…"

The young girl honestly didn't know how long it lasted but she tried to fight exhaustion as she cried out for her Mom. "I can't...Mom how am I going to do this alone?"

"Oh honey, you are not alone, trust me, I'm here with you, we all are here with you." Carol said, leaning her forehead against Nat's. "One more push my beautiful girl, come on, I know you can do it."

Finally, she heard it, her son's first cries. Natalie gasped as she pushed her head back tiredly as Dr. Mars lifted the baby up, she honestly hadn't seen anything so disgustingly beautiful as the baby's eyes locked with hers.

"A healthy baby boy." Dr. Mars announced. "Great job Natalie, he's beautiful."

Sarah's eyes were closing as Carol came out of the room. The baby had been born and he and Natalie were both healthy.

"Lou, come here." Carol called her husband who was there with Olivia and Nate. She also called for Jeff and his parents. Henry and Connor both let out relieved sighs at the same time and gave each other a much needed hug, Chris clapped, Claire cried a few happy tears and Sarah was amazed that in a few minutes their whole worlds had changed.

Sarah was the only one that noticed Will stand up and reach for his jacket though. "I'll be right back." She told Connor in a low voice and kissed his cheek before following Will out of the waiting room.

"Will?" She called as he got into the elevator.

His shoulders slumped and he turned around when he heard her voice, "What Reese?"

"Are...are you okay?" Stupid question, she told herself but she really didn't know how the boy would be feeling right now.

"I'm fine. I'm just going home."

"Home?" She asked as the elevator doors began to close so she jumped in with him.

"Yeah, Nat's fine, the baby is fine. I got nothing else to stay for." He shrugged on his jacket, glaring straight ahead.

"But I'm sure Natalie wants to introduce to to the baby and she'd be happy to see you again." She tried.

"Sarah, she's after having _Jeff's_ baby. All that baby and Nat needs right now are him and their families. Not me."

"But…"

"Reese. I'm not going back there. Natalie needs space. _I need space_ from all of it, from her, from her and Jeff. I can't go butting in where i don't belong, not when she'll be so vulnerable as right now. I'd never forgive myself. I don't want to be with her, not like this."

Sarah didn't know what to say.

"You know Nina broke up with me earlier on and the first person I go to see is Natalie and it's like we just keep going in circles. I need space."

"Okay." Sarah agreed quietly.

"I'll send her a card and present but I don't think I'd be let anywhere near her anyway. Her Mom and Jeff's Mom are like two guard dogs…" He mused, "Thanks for coming after me Sarah, but I think you should get back up there." He said as the elevator doors opened and he stepped out.

"Give Nat and the baby a hug from me alright?" He asked with a pained smile.

"I will." She promised.

Sara thought she would turn to mush as she watched Connor and Henry coo over the little baby resting on a very tired Natalie's chest. For guys that could be so hardcore on a hockey rink, they sure were softies when it came to their newborn 'nephew'. The baby had them wrapped around his finger before he even had a name.

Jeff sat in the chair beside the bed. Natalie asked that he stay. Afterall, Sarah thought, this was the new normal. Jeff would always be a part of their lives now.

"Jeff, can you pass me that water please?" Natalie's voice was tired and hoarse even as she mumbled to the baby who squirmed slightly in her arms. Jeff nearly fell over himself trying to get her the drink as soon as possible, even holding it for her to take a sip before sharing a warm smile with her and looking in awe at the baby. His baby. Their baby.

Sarah was finally starting to see flickerings of why Natalie had fallen for him in the first place.

Suddenly, a nurse ushered them out of the room because the baby needed to be fed, Natalie asked for her Mom and Jeff left behind Sarah and the boys.

The waiting room had emptied except for Jeff and Natalie's parents and Claire and Hermann who had of course stayed to make sure everything ran smoothly, when he spotted them, he suggested they'd go home, Henry of course protested, but the truth was that he was tired and he knew better than anyone that they should leave Natalie to bond with her baby alone.

Sarah had gotten a text from her Mom who had suggested James to go and get her, Connor almost fought her when she told him, but Sarah knew he wanted to stay with Natalie a bit longer too, before she left though, Natalie called them all back into the room. The baby was nuzzled against her as she smiled tiredly. "Come in guys."

"How's he doing?" Connor asked. "How are you?"

"Tired, but okay, I wanted to officially introduce you to Owen."

"Owen." Henry echoed. "I love it."

"Owen Morgan Manning." Natalie corrected herself. "I made compromises with Jeff, I guess this is the first one of many."

Connor smiled as his finger brushed the baby's head slightly. "Do you want to hold him?" Nat asked tenderly. "Here, Owen, go with Uncle Connor, I have a feeling you two are going to get along just fine."

Connor took the baby from her carefully as Owen settled against him, Sarah's heart skipped a beat as she watched her boyfriend. He looked beyond 16 as he comforted Owen as he fuzzed, Natalie didn't miss her staring.

Her mind a million miles away. "You are going to the ranch tomorrow with Kim, aren't you?" Her friend asked as Connor now had handed Owen to Henry who was now officially the baby whisperer.

"Yeah, it's Jason's first session, my Mom finally agreed." Sarah smiled.

"You are going with her, right?" She said to Connor.

"I'm meeting them there later, Jason doesn't have any idea, it's in case he's not too comfortable."

"That's great." Natalie smiled tiredly.

"Oh, easy there bud, here you go back with your Mommy now…" Henry smiled as Owen was now in Nat's arms. Neither of them missed the word that had sneaked out so naturally from Henry's lips referring to their 16 year old friend. "I still can't believe you are a Mom."

"Yeah, don't remind me. I'm too tired to even freak out about it." Natalie sighed.

"Hey guys." Claire appeared by the door. "Sarah, they're here to pick you up."

"Oh, okay." Sarah then turned to Natalie. "I have to go, please text me tomorrow, I'll come later if I can."

"Sure, the doctor said I might have to stay in a few days to get used to everything."

"I'll walk you." Connor offered as Claire took his place beside Henry, the nurse then came back again to explain something else to Natalie as they both watched tentively.

They wanted to take in as much as possible to help her.

"Man, I can't believe that happened." Connor said as he stopped suddenly down the hall from Nat's room, he ran his fingers through his short hair. "I can't believe Natalie is a Mom…"

"I know." Sarah echoed. He smiled at her. "But, the good thing is, that her parents are supportive and Jeff seems so too and she has all of us."

"Right." Connor said, they made it all the way down as James was waiting for them. Sarah's step Dad smiled at both kids as they said their goodbyes, Connor had given Sarah a quick kiss and thanked James as he then settled by the entrance bay of the hospital to catch his breath,

This had been a definitely long day.


	51. Chapter 51

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 51**

"Are you ready to go Buddy?" Sarah asked as she handed Jason his backpack. He took it while also clinging to Optimus Prime, he didn't want to go anywhere near horses without him by his side.

Sarah was used to the anxious feeling in her stomach that appeared every time Jason was about to embark on something new, but he was still worried about how much he could take on. And animals were right up there with having to make new friends and moving. She just hoped the Kim was right.

Connor texted her another picture of Owen. He, Henry and Claire had gone straight back up to the hospital that morning.

Sarah couldn't wait to get back to the hospital that evening to see the baby again.

"...Yeah…" Jason replied as Sarah put her phone away.

"We'll only do as much as you want." She told him, to calm him and herself.

"Nonsense, it'll be fun." Their Mom said, grabbing the keys. "Sarah, we have to let him out of his comfort zone more, he'll be fine."

But that didn't stop her from worrying.

Sarah showed Jason the pictures of Owen to keep him distracted on the drive.

"But she's your friend." He stated. "And she's your age."

"She is." Sarah nodded as their Mom turned into a long driveway, encased by trees.

"And she had a baby."

"Yep."

"So...are you and Connor having a baby too? Can I name it?"

Sarah let out a hysterical nervous laugh while her Mom stayed dead silent in the front seat. "No we're not. Owen was a surprise for Natalie."

"Oh. Well tell me when the baby is coming okay. I don't like surprises."

"I know Jason." She told him, itching to wrap him up in a hug and never let him go.

They got to the ranch and Kim was there to welcome them and so was David, her father's friend who happened to be a retired psychologist who had put his horse ranch to good use, he of course knew how to handle Jason well and the boy seemed to respond to him too.

"Do you want to go and meet the horses buddy?" Sarah asked, Jason seemed too nervous about the new experience, yet, David knew just what to say to help him. "You two know Connor, don't you?"

"Connor and Sarah kiss sometimes, but they are not having a baby soon, that's just their friend Natalie, she had a surprise baby."

Sarah saw her Mom tense up instantly but David simply smiled. "Oh, I see and Kim tells me you are friends with Connor too, right Jason?"

"Yeah, he's my friend even though he's bigger." The boy said.

"Then you are going to be glad Connor used to ride with us too when he was a boy." Sarah looked over at him. "Do you want to go meet Optimus?"

Jason imitated his sister and looked over."That's Connor's horse since he was about your age Jason." Kim explained. "He asked us to save him for you specially."

Sarah's heart began to beat faster as they walked over to the stables, her brother's stance was unsure, the horse was beautiful and seemed gentle but also looked big and scary, to Jason at least. "Connor got Optimus as a gift as a little kid, the two of them sort of grew up together but it's been a while since he's got someone as special to ride him." David explained to the Reese's. "Do you want to get a little closer Jason?"

"When is Connor coming?" Jason asked his sister, still behind her and away from the horse. "He said he'd come."

Sarah smiled. Thank goodness they had planned it and had a back up plan, even if Jason hadn't had a meltdown yet. "He'll be here soon." Kim said reassuringly.

"Then I want to wait for Connor, it's his horse so he has to ride him first."

"Are you sure?" Sarah asked. Susan looked as if she was about to protest but she too had other plans for coming to the ranch and she got a call from James in that moment who was coming too.

After all, this was a big deal for Jason.

James got there before Connor, even petting the horse and brushing him right in front of the boy to show him it was safe but the little boy was still adamant.

"Maybe it's a little too much." James commented and Sarah heard him.

"Let's just give him a little time." David insisted. "I understand this might be frustrating but it's how Jason deals with situations that take him out of his comfort zone."

"He shouldn't have to rely so much on Sarah's boyfriend, what if they break up? This is not just about them." James said.

"For now, Connor is someone Jason can trust and we must use that to our advantage, slowly, therapy will be useful for Jason not to have to rely on Sarah or Connor or anyone he seems to need to feel secure with, the main thing here is to give him confidence and have him be responsible for himself and others." Susan and James looked at each other and Sarah glanced at her phone and then at her brother who was sitting with Kim sipping on some juice. Her mind drifted to James's words. _She had always been so grateful to Connor for being there for Jason, but the truth was that, she just didn't know what would happen between them once school was over and beyond._

 _It was turning out to be that maybe Connor was her security too and she wasn't sure how she'd cope if they were to eventually break up._

Yet, all her thoughts drifted back to Jason as he called for Connor, Sarah was sure she couldn't keep her stare away as he was wearing a turned over cap and t-shirt and jeans.

He'd never wore such laid back things but today he looked even younger, specially when he greeted Jason and led him over to the horse, explaining a little about Optimus.

He didn't ride him that day of course, they all knew it would take time but at least he got close to the horse and brushed him like Connor had taught him.

"Before we go Jason, there is something Mom and I have been talking about…" James said eyeing his son.

"What about?" Jason asked after they had said goodbye to the horses and made their way to the car.

"Well, we were wondering how you would feel about getting a puppy?"

Jason stopped walking as did Sarah, this was the first she was hearing about it too.

"A dog?" Jason asked.

"Yep."

"Will it stay here with the horses?"

"No," James shook his head, "We thought it could stay with you. How would you feel about that?"

Sarah nearly argued back, was horse riding not enough for Jason by itself? She bit her lip, worrying that it would be too much. Connor reached for her hand though.

"Would it be _my_ dog? Like Danny's?"

"Yeah and you could name it too."

"And you would have to help us take care of it." Susan cut in, gauging her son's reaction.

"Does Sarah get a dog?"

"Well, you two could share." Their Mom explained.

That seemed to help things along, because Jason turned to beam up at Sarah. "Did you hear that Sarah? We can take care of it together."

She couldn't resist the smile on his face, "That sounds great Buddy."

"But I get to pick the name right?"

"We'll have to see about that." She joked but he was already nodding and climbing into the car, probably running through a list of names in his head.

"How's Natalie and Owen today?" Sarah asked Connor before she got into the car.

"Tired." Connor said. "I'm actually going to go over there now to see them, if you want to come with?" He gave her one of his winning smiles, which didn't help.

"Jason? Would you mind if I go and see Natalie now?"

"But you'll miss lunch." He blinked.

"I'll make sure she gets something to eat Jason." Connor smiled.

"So I don't get lunch with you two?"

Connor faltered, "Eh no, but Sarah will be home later?"

Jason looked betrayed. Usually Sarah would warn him in advance of any times she would be going with Connor or her friends.

Sarah bit her lip, and wondered if it was bad she was now hoping not to be accepted into Baylor for the summer.

"How about we go to Molly's for lunch, just the three of us?" James asked, picking up on the tension but Jason wasn't responding, just staring out the window, his arms wrapped tight around himself.

"Bye Jason, I'll see you later okay?" Sarah called but her brother wouldn't look her way.

She made a decision to help him out more over the summer.

* * *

"So today was good for him huh?" Connor asked as he drove her to the hospital.

"Yeah, I guess. I just worry about him."

"I know. But he's a great kid, He'll be fine." Connor rubbed his thumb over her knuckles.

"Yeah but..." She sighed, leaning her head back against the seat, "I'm just relieved today went okay for him. I think I was more worried than he was." She turned her head towards her boyfriend, "Imagine what Natalie has to go through now, she's like in charge of Owen's life."

Connor whistled softly, "I know. It's scary. But she has us."

Sarah suddenly wanted to withdraw her hand from his. Because yesterday had brought a lot of things into perspective. What if they did break up?

How would that affect her relationships with Natalie, and Henry and Claire and everyone else?

Luckily they arrived at the hospital in time to cut off her train of thought.

Claire was sipping coffee in the waiting room when they arrived, looking worse than Sarah had ever seen her. And she was pretty sure the older girl was wearing Henry's suit jacket.

"I never knew babies would wake up so much." Claire said in way of greeting. "Natalie's parents went home to get some rest and Jeff and his parents have gone for lunch, Henry is in there now."

"You look like you need a rest, go home Claire, we've got this from here." Connor said, still not having let go of Sarah's hand.

"Have I mentioned that you're my favourite little brother?" Claire grinned.

Sarah followed Connor into the room where Natalie was napping and Henry was rocking a sleeping Owen.

They whispered their hellos and took a seat. Natalie stirred at the slight noise, "Is Owen okay?" She panicked, looking around.

"He's fine, just chilling with his favourite Uncle."

"Don't make decisions for him, we all know I'll be the favourite." Connor laughed as Henry handed him the baby.

"Thanks for being here you guys." Natalie smiled softly, sitting up.

Henry was in the middle of asking Sarah how Jason had done with the horses when Natalie stopped playing with the threads in her blanket and abruptly asked if anyone had seen Will around.

"I need to ask him something." She announced.

"Haven't seen him since Owen was born." Henry said gently, "Do you want me to call him?"

"No. I need to ask him in person." She explained. "I want him to be Owen's Godfather."

Connor blinked, looking up from cooing over Owen, "What?"

Sarah put her hand on his arm because his question had come out a little sharp.

"Yeah." Natalie beckoned for him to hand her Owen as she leaned back against her pillows. "He was really great to me during the labour you know. And he's a great friend. And he's just great."

Connor gave Henry a panicked look.

 _He was about to be displaced by Halstead as Owen's godfather?_

"I'll call him later if you want so he can come over?" Henry offered, still eyeing Connor.

"I don't mean anything by it guys, you know I love you both right? But Will was, well he's been pretty great and he was last night and…"

"Oh and we weren't?" Connor didn't mean to say that outloud but he had and now he couldn't take it back.

"Connor…" Sarah took his hand in hers. "You'll be as important for Owen…"

Natalie nodded. "Honestly? I just feel like I owe it to Will, he was here through it all." Connor bit his lip but didn't reply. "Don't be mad at me please?"

"I'm not." Connor's tone softened. "Listen, uh, I sort of feel bad about Jason, maybe we should try and make it to Molly's?" He told Sarah.

Henry and Natalie looked at each other as Sarah replied."If you want, sure."

"We'll be back, and I'll bring you a milkshake?" Connor offered, he really didn't want to be mad over Natalie's decision, he was hurt yeah but ultimately it was her decision.

"Okay sure. April is coming later anyway and Jeff should be back from the cafeteria any minute."

"Good. Come on." He told Sarah, squeezing a hand Natalie had reached out to as he went. Henry took a minute to speak.

"Maybe a little warning would have been nice? I mean I know you and Will have like this connection thing but, well…"

"Are you mad too?" Natalie sounded, sad, frustrated.

"No, and neither is Connor, it was just sudden." Henry admitted with a small smile sitting beside her on the bed and brushing Owen's head softly.

"Henry sweetheart." Carol Manning had come back behind them, returning all of the sudden. "You should go home, sleep, you've been here all night. I thought Sarah and Connor were here?"

"They were, but, uh Jason had a pretty big day today and Sarah didn't want to leave him alone." Henry said to Carol.

"Go home now, your father is bringing everyone to meet little Owen later and Henry should get going." She told Natalie.

"Okay, I'll see you in a few hours then?" Henry said with a smile.

"Yeah, thanks Henry." Natalie looked down at Owen. "Would you check on Connor for me? I just don't want him to be upset?"

"Of course." Henry smiled, kissing Nat's forehead softly. "He'll be okay, don't worry."

* * *

When they got to Molly's, her parents and Jason were on dessert so they decided to sit with them and order something, Sarah realized it was probably the first time since she had started dating him that she had had a civilized meal with them and Connor. Jason seemed pleased Sarah was there and then Connor tried to shift the conversation to the horse. "My house doesn't have a proper place for Optimus to live Jason so David said I could go visit him there."

"Oh, my dog is going to live at our house. Mom and Dad's, I'll have to get both of everything." Jason commented.

"We're going to get everything together, sounds good, doesn't it?" Susan put in, looking at James.

"Yes, of course and as soon as David lets us know, we'll go get the dog, okay?"

Jason nodded and got back to his dessert.

Connor excused himself to go get Nat's milkshake, he had been running his reaction in his head all day and was surprised she and Henry were still talking to him. He shouldn't have had come so hard on Nat, it was her child, she had every right to pick out who his godfather would be.

"Hey kiddo." Chris was there cleaning the counter as he waited for Nat's order. "Everything okay? Henry said you two would be spending the day with Natalie and the baby."

"Yeah, it's fine." Connor said. "I just wanted to spend time with Jason, he had a pretty big day."

"I see and you not knowing if Sarah's going doesn't have anything to do with it?" He smirked softly.

"No…" Connor put in. "I'm not saying anything even if she goes, she deserves it Hermann and if I say something, she'll get all these ideas in her head and not go."

"Very mature, I've got to say Connor." The teenager cringed, he hadn't been very mature regarding Natalie though. "Good man. Hey Sarah." He winked at Reese who now stood beside Connor. "You still up for that spot? I could use some help tomorrow with most kids on holiday."

"Sure." Sarah smiled, looking back at Susan, James and Jason. "I'll be here."

* * *

Connor left Molly's alone. Sarah had gone on with her parents.

He had been thinking about calling Natalie and apologizing, but instead he thought of going to Will directly and getting him to Nat and that's how he found himself driving to Canaryville on Saturday afternoon.

"Connor?" Jay opened the door. "Hey man, what's up?"

"Is Will around?" Connor asked, brushing the back of his neck.

"Yeah, you want to come in?" Jay moved aside, Will was coming down from the stairs when he saw him.

"Connor? Is Nat okay?" Connor had to smile at the instant reaction. "The baby?"

"They're fine, uh, I actually wanted to talk to you."

"Oh, okay, I have to leave for the hospital soon though." Will told him.

"I can drive you if you want?" Connor offered. Jay stared between the two of them.

And so Connor found himself driving over with Will, Owen had been born the day before but Rhodes knew for a fact the redhead hadn't called or texted Nat.

"I didn't get to thank you for making sure Nat was okay, that you got her to the hospital." Connor began.

"It wasn't really me, her Mom was there too."

"Still, you made sure she was okay, you should have stayed and met Owen." Will's eyes registered hearing the baby's name for the first time.

"Oh, yeah it was just a little too crowded, I didn't think she needed me anymore." Will admitted. Connor kept driving.

"She's always going to need you Will." Connor said. "I didn't think I'd ever understand what you two meant to each other, but I got it last night, I mean, you had just broken up with your girlfriend and you still went to make sure Nat was okay. I know how much she means to you Halstead."

Will didn't answer him.

Connor was beginning to wonder how he could manage to put his foot in his mouth with both Natalie and Will in such a short time.

But he was worried about his best friend, she was ridiculously vulnerable right now.

And okay, just maybe, he was worried about Will a little bit too.

* * *

"Where are you going Halstead?" Connor asked as he headed for the elevator up to Nat's floor and Will kept walking down the hallway.

"I'm here to make up some of my volunteering hours Rhodes." Will beckoned towards the hallway.

"You're telling me I drove you here and you won't go and see Nat?" Connor couldn't help his temper flaring again. The guy was in consideration for Owen's Godfather and he hadn't even met the little boy yet. And now he didn't care how Will felt about now, because Connor felt like the guy was messing his friend around.

"I never said I was going to." Will said in a firm tone.

"Well you're here now, go see her." Connor demanded.

"Just stay out of my business Rhodes." Will snapped.

"Your businesses _is_ my business when it involves Natalie."

"You know I'm doing this _for_ Natalie." Will told him slowly and turned around, continuing his walk to go to work.

Connor sighed, running his hand through his hair. If he was confused, he didn't know what Natalie was going to be.

Ignoring Will's snubbing of his prospective Godson, Connor made his way up to Natalie's room. He ended up hanging in the doorway, what with the room overflowing with Mannings and Jeff was in there somewhere.

Eventually the room emptied, the Mannings wrangled their kids out the door and for home, Jeff had gone to get something to eat and Natalie was left with a sleeping Owen.

"Hey." He said tentatively, sitting down.

"Hi." She said, not meeting his eyes.

"I'm sorry about before Nat. I shouldn't have been so short with you. Your choice just surprised me, is all. Everything seems to be a surprise lately." He sighed.

"Tell me about it." She smiled weakly, turing to take a look at the quiet baby.

"You're still sure you want Halstead as his Godfather?" Connor couldn't help himself, not when the guy in question was acting stupid.

"Yeah…" Natalie said but she didn't quite sound as sure as she watched the door.

Then it seemed to click. Connor suddenly wondered if she was doing this because she _liked_ Halstead. Being Owen's Godfather would be a way to make sure he stuck around.

"Nat...about Will…"

"It's not about me choosing him over you or Henry Connor. You know everything isn't always about you." She shot, tears welling in her eyes.

Connor breathed in at the insult, and nodded, trying to be understanding, "Okay, but come on, me and Henry are like family. And you know we'd take care of Owen."

"I know that. But Will…" Her voice shook, "He was there for me from the start with Jeff, always trying to protect me, I should have listened to him from the beginning. And when I was in labour, he was there again and…"

"We were there too." Connor commented, then his gaze softened when Natalie seemed took even more vulnerable. "It's okay if you like him you know…"

Natalie glared at him, "I've just had a baby with my ex boyfriend. It's not like I can afford to have crushes Connor."

"Okay." He held his hands up in surrender, "But it's okay if you did. Have feelings for him. But I don't think…"

"That it's a good reason to choose him as a Godfather? Yeah I know that Connor." She was close to crying and Connor didn't know how to make things better. "I'm kind of tired. I'm going to get some sleep. You can leave Connor." She said, lying back.

"No it's okay, I'll stay. I'm not leaving that easily Manning." He grinned, touching the bracelet on her wrist.

"Everything feels like a mess Connor." She admitted.

Connor shook his head, "Everything will be fine, I promise." He kissed her forehead. "Here, this might help a little, you rest and I'll take the little guy." Connor gave Nat her milkshake and sat with Owen on the sofa in the room, looking at the baby sleeping in his arms.

He just wished he could believe his own words. Everything was changing and he didn't know if things would be ever be alright.

* * *

 **Drama is still brewing for Manstead and yay Jason is getting a puppy! What did you guys think?**


	52. Chapter 52

**Holding On**

 **A/N: Hey guys we are back! Sorry we kept you waiting for this next one for too long, we hope it makes it up though, enjoy!**

 **Chapter 52**

Sarah hated keeping secrets. And she wasn't entirely sure why she was doing it today but it happened without much thought.

A letter arrived for her in the post. From Baylor University.

Jason had just woken up, and was already going through lists of dogs names and she was suddenly terrified of what was in the letter.

If she got in, she would be disappointing some of the most important people in her life,Connor and Jason.

If she got rejected, then she would disappoint her Mom and it would be disappointing herself too.

Even if she wasn't sure she even wanted to go, she did have the hope in the back in her mind that she might be good enough to get in.

And the letter contained the answer. She couldn't open it. Not yet.

So she stashed in her bag that she was bringing to her first shift at Molly's. Otherwise her Mom might find it at home.

Connor looked tired when he picked her up for work. He had been up half the night with Natalie and Owen. He was learning that babies could cry. A lot.

She was nervous. Butterflies wreaking havoc in her stomach. Her first job.

School, she could do. _Work? She wasn't sure._

She was introverted which wouldn't really go with the busy diner. And she was worried she wouldn't be able to memorise all the steps and roles without a textbook and notebook.

"You'll do great you know." Connor squeezed her hand. "Herrmann is a great boss and we'll all help you out."

"Thanks." She smiled shyly at him, he could read her mind that much she knew, which also told her she couldn't keep the letter hidden from him for long.

"Right on time Sarah, looks like it's going to be a slow day and Connor here has offered to work with you so you can get the hang of it fast." Sarah looked at her boyfriend, even exhausted, he was always there for her. "

Connor, you should go home." Sarah insisted as he helped her tie her apron.

"On your first day? I promised you and Chris to teach you,didn't I?" He said charmingly.

"I love you. She replied. He leaned to kiss her softly, thankfully they were still in the back.

"No smooching on work hours, let's go kiddos." Chris called startling both as they turned to the front of the diner and got to work.

The day went by pretty quickly and by now, Sarah was used to the regulars who seemed to be keen on helping the kids out on their summer jobs and would given them extra tips, even Connor slipped some of his own into the jar for Sarah and the others working the day, it was almost afternoon when Henry showed up.

"So, how's it going?" He asked, putting on an apron and his usual notepad.

"Well you know Sarah, she's got the hang of it already." Connor said with a tired smile.

"How long has it been since you slept?" Henry mused.

"Not sure. Nat is going home tomorrow morning though." Connor said leaning against the counter and running a finger through his hair.

"Oh, yeah she told me and also that you brought her a milkshake. You apologized, did you?"

"Yeah and drove Will over to the hospital."

Henry stopped in his tracks. "Wait, what?"

"He didn't want to see her Henry, I mean, should that be the guy to be Owen's Godfather?"

Henry sighed. "I'm guessing he's just trying to process the fact that his relationship with Nat has changed forever."

"Son, I thought that was you. Get to work then, Connor bud, go home, you look terrible." Chris mused at him. Connor rolled his eyes as he went to ask Sarah if she was ready to go home.

"Sarah?" He thought she had jumped to the sound of his voice, she turned to look at him with her bag to her shoulder. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" She said quickly kissing his cheek and pulling him into the front of the diner as they said their goodbyes to Henry and the others, promising to be there the next morning to support Natalie.

The drive to her house was quiet as both of them seemed to be tired, he walked her to the door though and kissed her goodbye.

Sarah pulled the letter from her bag as soon as she said goodnight to her Mom and Jason after a quick dinner, her hand tracing the seal on the letter. She was thankful most universities still sent them on paper because if she had received an email, her curiosity would surely taken the best of her.

She fell asleep with the letter beside her on the pillow, a million thoughts invading her mind as she finally gave in into exhaustion.

* * *

"How cute is Owen?" Emily gushed as she and Sarah left the Manning house after visiting Nat who seemed to have already settled at home the following day. Sarah smiled to herself, Nat had been worried about being overwhelmed but now it seemed she was going to be overwhelmed by all the help and support. Connor and Henry hadn't left her side since she got home. All her siblings wanted to hold the baby. Cindy and Claire helped out keeping the house running and Natalie had been happy to see Emily and talk about the dance, to talk about anything other than how she was doing.

"I know, he's so cute."

"And babies make guys so much more attractive." Emily mulled, smirking at Sarah.

"Okay, I don't know how, but just Connor holding him makes him even more gorgeous." Sarah confessed with a laugh.

Emily fanned herself as they walked, the Chicago summer had begun. "Do you know what's up with Will? Jay said he was cranky for the last few days, I get that Nina broke up with him but then he was with Natalie during her labour?"

"Yeah, it's complicated." Sarah nodded.

"I already love Owen, but talk about bad timing for Manstead huh?" Emily sighed.

"Speaking of bad timing, there's never going to be a good time to tell you this Emily…" Sarah hesitated, slowing her pace.

Emily turned to her, taking off her sunglasses, "What's up?"

"I...well you see, I'm starting my senior year in September." Sarah said in one breath, bracing for Emily's reaction.

Her best friend just broke eye contact and sighed. Then pulled her into a hug.

"Just promise me you won't forget about me because you're moving ahead." Emily asked.

"Of course not, " Sarah promised.

"Then I'm really happy for you. Sarah, you're _seriously_ smart and wonderful and you deserve the opportunity." Emily smiled, "But I'm really going to miss you!"

"I'll still see you in school." Sarah argued.

"It won't be the same, but we'll make it work." Emily decided.

They kept walking, chatting about things, Sarah about Jason and the horses and prospective puppy and Emily about the camp her parents were sending her and Ethan to for the summer.

Sarah lied when Emily asked if she had heard back from Baylor.

"You'll get in, no doubt." Emily told her. "Summer is going to suck though. I didn't want to go to camp but everyone has plans anyway. Monique is visiting her grandparents in Europe, Will is working, Jay will probably live at the ice rink all summer, Gabby is volunteering, Natalie has her baby, you're going to Baylor,"

"Might be." Sarah corrected.

"Uh huh, whatever." Emily rolled her eyes. "It feels like a movie, like this is the summer everyone's lives are going to change you know? Like we'll all be different people in September."

Sarah didn't really see it but her friend liked to dream big. "I guess."

"What's Connor going to do?" Emily asked. He'd told her he wanted to be with his Mom and Natalie as much as possible.

"Ugh, can your boyfriend be any more perfect?"

Sarah didn't think so.

"I can't believe I didn't think of it before, we all need one last hurrah before we leave." Emily stopped in her tracks.

"What are you thinking of?"

"My parents are away on business and this weather is stifling. I think we need a pool party." Emily grinned.

If she didn't know it before, she knew it now, Emily Choi was a force to be reckoned with. She was the reason Sarah found herself by the Choi's pool two days later in the hot sunshine.

Unfortunately her Mom had put her foot down and only let Sarah attend if she wore her one piece bathing suit that was basically a t-shirt and shorts, but then again her Mom _was_ letting her go to a pool party with her boyfriend, so Sarah classified it as a win.

"Do you know what I just realised?" Emily asked, as she sipped on her soda from the sun lounger next to Sarah.

"What's that?" Sarah asked looking up from her phone and the text Connor had just sent her that he was on his way.

"I never noticed that Jay was like...hot." Emily said in hushed tones as she tilted her head and gazed to the pool where Jay was getting out after swimming.

"So...do you like Jay now?" Sarah asked.

Emily scrunched up her nose, "Ugh no, he's like a brother to me, but I kind of see it, why other girls like him." She commented.

Sarah didn't buy it but wouldn't push it, it wasn't the first she'd seen Emily turn weird when talking about Jay. Ever since Erin had left it was like she was seeing him a whole new light.

"Oh, is that Connor?" Emily tried to turn the conversation around, Sarah turned around to see her boyfriend walking their way with a turned back Chicago Cubs cap, dark polo shirt and all ready for the pool, honestly, he could easily pass off as a model.

"Hey guys." He smiled, taking his glasses off.

"Hey." Emily said with a smile. "Here sit, I'll be back" she gave Sarah a knowing glance as she walked over to some other kids that were there.

"Hi." Connor smirked at Sarah. "Sorry I was late. Mom wasn't feeling well." His stare turned dark for a moment.

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah, Claire stayed with her." He told her. Sarah nodded. "How exactly did Emily manage this in two days?" He said looking around. "She and my sister seriously have a gift for it."

"I know, it's scary." Sarah said facing him. Connor leaned in to kiss her. "Come here." He moved back and stretched his legs so she could easily fit between them. He kissed her cheek from behind as she settled against him.

Just in that moment Emily had come back and sat beside them. "Are you two up for a swim?"

"Sure, let's go." Sarah smiled as Connor pulled her to her feet and got rid of his shirt.

Sarah felt self conscious all of the sudden of checking out her boyfriend, she wasn't sure she'd seen him with that little clothing before, even if they had been experimenting and moving ahead on bases or whatever.

Connor was tall and skinny but strong from all his years playing hockey. His hair was longer now and it stuck a bit against his forehead in the heat.

"Hey." He said softly with a smirk on his face as he put a finger under her chin to lift her head and catch her eye and pecked her lips.

Flustered, with cheeks that were now officially burning, Sarah grinned, "Hi."

She was now kind of glad of her Mom's insistence, standing within a breath's distance of a shirtless Connor in her swimsuit was an entirely new scenario compared to their usual make out sessions.

"Hey, love birds! Can you check each other out later? You promised me a swim." Emily beckoned with a shout before making a run and jumping into the pool.

Sarah was surprised to see Connor's cheeks slightly reddened too as he took her hand and led her to the pool.

"Hey Sarah." Jay said from where he was taking a seat at the edge. "Connor." He nodded.

"Hi Jay."

"How's Nat doing?" He asked, and Sarah could feel Connor stiffen, as if suspecting Jay to be asking because of Will. But Sarah knew her friend, no matter what happened with his brother, he wasn't going to get involved in arguments that wasn't his place.

"She's home and doing good." Sarah said, "Right?" She asked her boyfriend.

Connor looked from Sarah's stern glance to Jay's ernest expression. "Yeah she's doing good."

"Good, well tell her I was asking for her, not that I can do a lot, but if there's anything I can, tell Natalie to let me know okay?"

"We will." Sarah promised and proceeded to pull Connor away before he could say something along the lines of get your brother to make everything right.

She sat down, dangling her feet in, "It's cold!" She laughed at Emily who had swam over.

"Exactly!" Emily said before reaching up and pulling Sarah in. Sarah reached the surface to see Connor jumping in.

He appeared next to her, water droplets falling from his hair, she reached over to wipe them off his face as he kissed her cheek.

"Halstead, get over here, I'm a third wheel!" Emily called, making Jay laugh and Sarah blush.

She never wanted to be the person to get so caught up with her boyfriend that she neglected her friends, especially her single friends. How many times had _she_ been the third wheel?

Jay hopped into the pool as Sarah splashed Emily. Connor went for a lap of the pool as Emily kept trying to dunk Jay. Sarah laid back and let herself float, the sun shining down letting her mind wonder.

She didn't know how much she needed this little bit of normalcy.

Ethan managed to light the barbeque among the kid infested backyard and Sarah and Emily sat, wrapped in their towels to enjoy their hotdogs.

"This right here is summer." Emily said with a happy sigh.

"It's a good distraction." Connor agreed, with Sarah tucked into his shoulder.

"Gotta go, Nina's arrived and Jay does not look comfortable." Emily said hurriedly, getting up to play distraction in the awkward conversation that was taking place between Nina and Jay by the pool.

"I better get going soon, I told Henry I'd let him go home from Nat duty later and take over." Connor said, finishing off his soda.

"Yeah, me too, I promised my Mom I'd do some chores while she's at work and Jason is with James."

"I can give you a ride home?"

"Sounds great." Sarah smiled.

They said their goodbyes a little while later as the party died down and Emily who was distracted by a deep conversation with Jay, didn't make much of a fuss of it.

Sarah put her loose top and shorts back on over her swimsuit before they made their way to her house. Natalie rang Connor on their way, saying that Jeff was coming over.

He took the hint and slight desperation in her voice that he should probably not drop by. She didn't want to give Jeff any reason to stay away from Owen.

And all of them knew how Jeff was around Connor, Henry or any of Nat's friends who were boys. "I could have stayed longer at the party." He mumbled after he hung up.

"But it's a good thing Jeff is involved." Sarah pointed out.

"Yeah I know." Connor said as he pulled up to her driveway. No cars in sight.

"So…" His voice croaked, "You better get started on those chores huh?"

Sarah's heart started racing in her chest, like the first time she had kissed him. "You could come in for a while, there's not that much to do…" She said quietly.

"You sure?" He asked.

She nodded, keeping her eyes on his.

Her knees felt weak just by looking at him, and she was still sitting down.

And her house was empty.

And their friend had just had a baby plus, they said they would go at their pace. She tried to push that rational thought back into her mind as she unlocked the door and led him inside. But Sarah knew they just weren't exactly sure what that pace was going to be. Standing in the kitchen, she was pretty sure it was the first time she felt an awkwardness between them. Neither needed food or drink since the party but they were trying to keep up pretences.

That she hadn't just invited him in and he hadn't just followed her so they could have time alone together.

"You okay Babe?" He asked, glancing around at the quiet room.

She nodded, biting her lip.

"You want to sit?" She asked.

"No, I'm good." He said.

She let out a giggle and he followed with a nervous laugh.

"C'mhere." He beckoned her over, held out his hand.

She placed her hand in his and he tugged it gently so she was a breath's width away from him.

"Hi." He grinned.

"Hi." She looked at him from under her eyelashes.

He wound his arms around her waist, holding her softly against him and held his forehead against hers.

This was felt safe like they were the only two people in the world.

Like nothing else mattered in that moment. The outside world finally, for a few minutes, had no impact on them.

Then Sarah made a decision, it was time she told him about Baylor, so she leaned up to kiss him."I need to show you something." Connor raised an eyebrow as she pulled apart and moved to grab the small bag she had taken to the party. She took the letter out and with her back to Connor, she sighed, turning around after a moment. "This arrived a few days ago, but I haven't opened it."

Connor searched her eyes but after just a moment, he understood. "Baylor?"

Sarah nodded. "Yeah, I'm just a little nervous."

"I could open it if you want?" He offered with a warm smile, moving closer to her.

"Please?" He took it from her and slowly ripped it open. "What?" He hadn't even unfolded the paper.

"Just know that whatever happens Sarah, you are the smartest person I know and I love you."

Sarah grinned. He began to scan the paper with his eyes and then a smile crept into his face as he read.

 _Dear Sarah,_

 _We were incredibly impressed by your application and are looking forward to welcome you to our Houston Baylor University program for undergraduates , starting July 7 and ending August 25._

"Sarah, you got in." Connor spoke after a moment, while she tried to process his words, before she could register anything, Connor was inches from her. "Sarah?"

"I got in." She almost whispered.

"Yep, you did, I told you you would." He smirked. Sarah bit her lip and Connor worried for a moment that maybe she was having second thoughts, but then she wrapped him in a hug, they stayed like that for a moment. "Congratulations babe."

"Thank you. I really didn't think I'd get in."

"You don't give yourself enough credit to how smart you are." Connor beamed, brushing her cheek with his finger.

"Thank you for always believing in me." She beamed at him. "I love you."

"I love you too." Sarah leaned to kiss him first, tenderly.

He responded slowly as if they had all the time in the world and he was trying to memorise her.

Then her hands reached up to the back of his head and the kiss became urgent. He gripped her waist as if he was afraid she was going to disappear in front of him.

Even if her knees were weak, he wasn't going to let her fall. She somehow managed to lean forward so much he had to take a step back and bumped into the table behind him.

He pulled away for a split second, looking down at her.

"Do you trust me?" He asked, his voice hoarse.

"Of course." She replied instantly.

The letter long forgotten.

* * *

His sweet smile was all she saw before her world spun as he twirled her around in his arms. She was left breathless by him pulling her even closer to him. The table was now pressing at her lower back and Connor's two hands on either side of her resting on the table.

He placed his hand on the back of her neck and pulled in to kiss her deeply. Once he was happy she wasn't letting go of him anytime soon he moved his hands away. She shivered as he trailed them from the back of her head down her spine and around her hips.

She wasn't even embarrassed by the grumble of disappointment that she uttered when his lips left hers.

She didn't register what was happening until he crouched down slightly and almost effortlessly managed to lift her straight of her feet and leave her sitting on the table. But Sarah soon found that she didn't like the new space between them.

But he was waiting for her next move, not pushing her further than she wanted and she loved him even more for it. So she shifted herself and pulled at his waist until he took a step closer so his body against hers, her legs now wrapped around his waist somehow.

Sarah relished in the smaller height difference now as they kissed again. It could have been minutes or hours later when his hands were in her hair, and her hands were circling his waist, playing with the bottom of his shirt when he pulled away from her.

"Shirt off?" He asked, slightly breathless.

Sarah's breath caught in her throat. She sometimes forgot she could ask things like that. He was her boyfriend and this was their own pace.

She blushed furiously, but she couldn't help but have slight flashbacks to earlier when she had seen him shirtless. She bit her lip and nodded shyly.

"If that's okay?"

He nodded with a wolfish grin and took a slight step back to reach down and removed his shirt in one foul swoop. Her eyes left his and travelled down his front.

"You okay?" He asked in a quiet voice, running a thumb over her cheek.

"Hmm mmm." She nodded, and reached out tentatively to put her hand over his heart. It thumped hard under her touch. She looked up at his eyes to ask permission but he wasn't arguing as she felt bold and trailed both her hands from his shoulders down his front to his waistband. She ran her hands around to his back where she could really feel his muscles now, clenching at her light touch.

"Sarah…" Connor breathed out roughly, his eyes dark as her fingers danced over his skin.

It was his turn to take a dislike to the space between them. "I love you."

"I love you too."

He didn't even move to her lips and she was about to protest but instead, he angled his head and brought his lips to her neck.

She gasped in shock and pleasure, apparently it was her weak spot. She let her head fall back which evidently gave her boyfriend more space to work on.

He got to the collar of her own t-shirt, suddenly she felt bolder than she had before and that really she should be fair.

"Shirt off." She was surprised by the crack in her voice as he found her pulse point with his lips. He moved back instantly and she swore her heart had never beaten as fast as when she lifted her two arms up and beckoned him to remove her shirt.

She expected him to be quick about it like he had with his own but he leaned closer and ran his hands down until they reached the hem of her shirt and started to peel it slowly off of her, his hands leaving a trail of fire across her stomach as he went. He glanced at her to make sure it was alright as he moved the shirt up further and his hands passed over the side of her chest.

She heard herself moan his name as her eyes fluttered closed at his touch. He removed the shirt entirely then, leaving her in her swimsuit and shorts.

They seemed to be a mess by now, a mess of arms and wandering hands and bare skin as they kissed so deeply and were so close, she wasn't quite sure where she finished and he began.

She felt an ache inside herself she had never felt before.

He broke away for air and then she realised where they were, "What are we doing in my kitchen?"

She laughed and he started to as well when they managed to take their eyes off each other and look around. Her boyfriend was topless and she was being kissed senseless on her family kitchen table.

He ran a hand through his own hair, collecting his thoughts, "I should probably be going…"

"No!" She insisted quickly. Then the solution shot through her mind like a flaming arrow.

"We could...we could...eh…" She mumbled, suddenly worried he would think less of her somehow.

"What is it?" He asked, his hands cupping her face gently.

"We could go up to my room?" She asked, her cheeks flushing. "We don't have to...you know…" She trailed off quickly.

"No, we don't have to do anything we don't want to right?" He asked.

She nodded.

"But we could...go up to your room…?" He clarified.

"And see what our pace is…?" She asked.

"Definitely." He agreed, sealing the decision with a searing kiss that managed to leave her breathless all over again.

He moved to lift her but she didn't want him to hurt his knee so she hopped down from the table, picking up their shirts.

He moved wordlessly after her as she walked up the stairs. She felt like her whole body was shaking from the inside, but it wasn't from fear. Far from it, not with Connor. It felt something like anticipation.

She closed the door behind them but her mother wouldn't be home for _hours_.

He sat on the edge of her bed, patting the space beside him but the feeling of his loving gaze on her left her with no other choice but to walk straight over to him and kiss him where he sat and she stood. Her hair fell around his face but this height difference was new.

After the novelty of being taller than him, they both moved at the same time, bumping heads in the meantime and giggling over their incoordination.

But they managed to somehow crawl onto her bed. She fell against her pillows, as one of her swimsuit arm straps fell over her shoulder and he braced himself before he fell completely on top of her.

She could feel his heart pounding as hard as hers as they fell into each other's touch.

Her last coherent thought was of Connor's name resounding in her head as she felt like she was falling and taking him with her.

He would go with her anywhere, do anything for her.

And to her, he would always be the one person she'd trust the most.

For her, he was it.

* * *

 **Soo... Rheese is going on their own pace intimacy wise. Stay tuned for more and also a little partner story we've been working alongside this one.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


	53. Chapter 53

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 53**

Sarah wanted to remember those few moments for the rest of her life. Laying there with Connor beside her, on the brink of a challenging summer and even more formidable school year, but lost and safe just looking into his eyes.

The excitement and adrenaline was wearing off. They had explored each other, hands wandering and shared gasped breaths but they were both happy to leave it there, not taking it any further to something that could turn rushed and regrettable.

"Sarah, Babe?" His whisper made her jump and open her eyes. She glanced up at him from his chest. "I think you just dozed off…" He smiled fondly, dropping a kiss on top of her hair.

"I don't want to go to Baylor. Can I just stay here forever?" She asked, tightening her grip on his torso. She felt him laugh softly.

"You have no idea how much I'd love that." He said. "But it's a great opportunity,"

"I know." Sarah agreed reluctantly.

They both had their own demons and troubles to contend in the outside world.

He made an unwilling move to get up, "Your Mom will probably be home soon…"

Sarah sighed, sitting up with him, "And you should be going?"

"I always said you were smart." He smirked, reaching over for one last lingering kiss as if he was trying to memorise the moment.

Suddenly summer seemed far too long to be away from him.

They made their way to the door eventually, clothes firmly back in place.

"I love you." He said as if trying to remind her.

As if she could forget.

"I love you too." She watched him drive away, the saddest smile on her face.

* * *

Her Mom's reaction to Baylor was over the top, Sarah thought. She called her Grandma, she called James, she called half their relatives she could think of. She personally rang up the admissions for the summer in take to double check the minor details of the courses, even though both Reese women had done their research already.

Seeing as Connor already knew, Sarah went through letting all her friends know.

It was crazy to think that just a year ago, on the brink of moving house and school, she had barely anyone to care. Now she even let Elizabeth, Chris know and sent Mr Charles an email.

And telling Joey back then couldn't be compared to all the replies she got from her friends. The Halsteads promised to make a banner for the airport to say farewell. Natalie sent her a video of Owen cooing happily and Emily wanted any excuse to plan another party.

But Sarah couldn't bring herself to tell Jason just yet.

She didn't have to leave for a little less than two weeks and he was still looking forward to getting the puppy that weekend.

Time seemed to pass in a blur but also crawl slowly. She and Emily had gone shopping with Will for work clothes on the shy request of Jay who admitted that they still needed a woman's touch in those kind of things.

And Will, being the oldest, missed their Mom more for the everyday things but Sarah and Emily were more than happy to help.

Emily, used to having her brother around, wouldn't admit it to anyone, stayed over at Sarah's the night Ethan had left for camp and cried because it had hit her that they

had a limited amount of time left together as kids. One more summer until he graduated and left for college and life. Even if he annoyed the hell out of her, Emily loved having him to fall back on.

Sarah also spent time with Nat, the two of them minding Owen while catching up. She spent time looking up scholarships for colleges with Henry in the evenings.

As much as Connor maintained that he was interested in scholarships as well, they both knew there was one crucial point, he would never need one. And Henry loved looking forward to the future. She could see it too, his confidence in himself growing. The captaincy of the hockey team and his new found ability to get good grades gave him a boost and Sarah thought he deserved it.

Then, there the days spent shopping for essentials for Baylor, new suitcases and smarter clothes that also flew by.

Sadly too, did the days spent with Jason. Now that school was out, Sarah got to spend more time with him but time went too quickly while she tried to remember every second. She was afraid he would change a whole lot while she was away but that she would change too much for him. Or worse, that he would forget her because she'd been there too long.

But she wouldn't ever forget the day they brought their dog home. She was afraid he would get last minute nerves but he was probably the most excited she had ever seen him. He looked her in the eye and smiled as they brought the puppy over to them.

Removing his arms from around his torso, Sarah watched as Jason reached out and took the puppy.

"He's really small isn't he? We're going to have to take really good care of him Jason right? Be gentle and kind?" She asked, crouching down beside him to pet the little dog.

Jason seemed to nod reverently and mumbled sweet words right into the puppy's ear. "Shh sweet dog. Everything's big and you're small but I get scared too but Sarah's brave and I'm her brother and I'll be brave for you." He was already in his own little world with the puppy.

They brought the dog home, where his bed was stationed in the living room.

"Do you have a name for him Sarah?" Jason asked, not taking his eyes off the dog now rolling over on the floor.

"I thought we were deciding together Buddy?" Sarah asked, from where she was sitting on the floor.

"But Neil from school said I'm not smart and I'm silly and Mom always says how smart you are. You should name him."

Sarah swallowed the initial rush of outrage at this Neil kid and looked back up at her brother who was fidgeting again. "Well everyone we know thinks you're smart right? And your teacher gave you great report from school, so I don't think Neil knows what he's talking about."

"But he says I'm weird…"

"That's because you think differently to some other people remember? But thinking differently is great because you get all the new and brilliant ideas." She tried to tell him, "I'd really like if you named him."

He seemed to brighten up at her words. "Can we call him Bumblebee? Because Bumblebee is a really good friend."

"That sounds like a great name Jason."

* * *

Sarah, between babysitting Jason and minding Bumblebee or Bee as Jason would fondly call him, and trying to spend time with her friends, spent all the time she could with Connor too.

Her new favourite place was being cuddled with him in a corner in their café booth.

It was their place now.

All they would do was talk, with a few stolen kisses thrown in, but it was just bliss for Sarah to have her boyfriend to herself for even a for a little while.

Sarah felt terrible, having to go back to Chris and having to tell him that she wouldn't actually be able to work at Molly's for the summer. "I'm really sorry for all the inconvenience." She said, quoting websites that she had researched when it came to quitting a job.

Chris laughed softly and leaned on the counter, "Nah, don't you worry about it kid. I was looking forward to having you around but Baylor, that's a big deal Sarah. You gotta go with these kind of opportunities, you'll have to call around before you leave for a going-away dinner okay?"

"Are you sure it's okay?"

"Of course, they'll be plenty of people wanting a job for the summer. Don't give it a second thought kid."

She was leaving by the end of that week and it finally hit her. Summer was a long time. And it was approaching far too fast.

Elizabeth had Claire set up a dinner for Sarah before she left too and this dinner was far more enjoyable considering that Cornelius was working late and had not been able to make it.

But he was coming home that night, just like he did every night lately, even if it was to Connor's annoyance. His father didn't go away on business anymore if he could help it.

If that wasn't an indicator of Elizabeth's illness then Sarah didn't know what was. And the fact that Claire was extra jumpy anytime Elizabeth so much as sniffed only added to it.

"You okay?" Connor asked her as she found herself grasping his hand under the table.

She nodded but she knew he knew she was lying.

She couldn't help but wonder what would happen if Elizabeth died while she was away. She immediately felt terrible for even thinking of the woman any other way than alive, yet, she couldn't release the grip of his hand, she didn't want to leave him.

Elizabeth sent Claire to get Sarah's going away present, Sarah tried to object, she really didn't like taking expensive things off anyone.

"I know you're probably packing late for Baylor, but well I thought you might like something to remember home by. I know that you've had a hard time fitting in before, but you fit right in here. And I hope you don't mind that I asked a few of your friends for help with this. If there's one thing that I've learned is that family and friends are the most important thing in the world, and I thought you might understand that more than anyone." Elizabeth handed Sarah with a calendar with Baylor University on the cover. Sarah looked up, perplexed.

"Open it up."

So she did. Inside was a collage of her life in Chicago.

Every week she would be in Baylor was on a seperate page accompanied by pictures of her and everyone important in her life. Her and Connor at their café. Everyone at Natalie's baby shower. The group at the party in Molly's before the hockey final. A picture her mom had taken of her and Jason asleep on the sofa with boxes still full after they moved in. Monique, Jay, Emily and Sarah at lunch in the cafeteria. Emily and Sarah at the Halloween party. Sarah and Henry studying. A selfie with Connor from one of their dates. Her and Will grinning at the at after one of the boys hockey games.

"When Emily sent over her photos Mom had to persuade her not to throw you another party." Claire said with a grin. "You've got a good group of people there Sarah."

She agreed wholeheartedly.

"And them, just like us, love you a lot, so you better go and show Texas what you're made of. We're all behind you." Elizabeth said, reaching over for Sarah's hand.

Sarah responded by hugging the woman until she couldn't keep her tears at bay. Happiness that people understood her and sadness over the fact that Elizabeth wouldn't be around forever.

"And don't worry about Connor. I've been in enough trouble, I know how to keep people out it." Claire grinned with a conspiratorial wink.

Connor drove her home later and ended the night with a searing kiss as if he was actively trying to imprint himself on her memory. He didn't have to try, she'd remember him forever.

* * *

The time came far too quickly to tell Jason that she was leaving for the summer. She felt sick just thinking about disappointing him. But she knew in her heart of hearts that she was probably be more upset about leaving him than he would be.

What if he forgot about her? Or found someone else he preferred? Or hated her forever for leaving?

After her Mom had enough of Sarah's pacing up and down the kitchen floor, she called Jason away from his toys and told him Sarah had something to tell him.

She took one look at her little brother and decided if he got upset then she wouldn't go. She couldn't.

"Hey Buddy…" She said.

"Is the big news about getting another puppy?" He asked, his face brightening up.

"Umm no…" She said, sitting next to him. "Remember sometimes at our old school I would have to stay behind some days for more classes?"

Jason nodded, distracted by his Optimus Prime toy, "You were really smart."

"Yeah, well see I did some more hard tests and my teacher said that I can go to this special school over the summer."

"I'm smart like you." He said to himself.

Sarah was humbled, "It's hard sometimes isn't it?"

Jason nodded, Sarah wondered if he was thinking about the mean kid in his class.

"Well this will be hard because the school is far away. Do you remember where Aunt Sheila lives?"

"It's a really, really long plane ride."

"It sure is and that's where my school is."

Jason frowned. "Are we moving again?"

"No not at all. It's just the school wants me to visit for the summer."

"Can I come too?"

Sarah hesitated, "No Jason, it's just me. You and Mom and James and everyone will be here and Connor also promised to come and play." She added when Jason seemed unsure, Sarah fighting the urge to stare at her mom who was probably rolling her eyes or something but Jason seemed to calm a bit at the mention of her boyfriend.

"And Can me and Connor watch movies too?"

"I'm sure you can." Sarah said, Jason then looked down at the ground a minute.

"Won't you be scared by yourself?"

"A little bit, but the school sounds exciting and I'm excited. And Mom said you two can come visit me while I'm there."

"And we all come home for school here?" He seemed to clarify.

"We sure are. It's just for a few weeks and I'll miss you so much but it will go quickly."

"Okay."

"What do you think about it huh?"

Jason shrugged, itching to get back to playing, "I don't like you not being at home. But you're really smart. Can I play now?"

"Of course you can. I love you." she called as he raced back into the living room.

She let out a breath she had been holding.

So maybe she was one who was most nervous out of the two of them.

"We'll call you every night. He wouldn't forget about you, you know?" Her Mom said.

Sarah got to enjoy one of Owen's first outings to Molly's at Herrmann's impromptu 'Sarah's going away party', but considering April and Ethan had already set off for camp, Jay was now working at the ice rink, Monique was still holidaying and Will conveniently had to go to a work party as soon as he caught rumor of Natalie attending, didn't leave for a big crowd. But Sarah still loved it.

Katie made a cake with 'Goodluck Sarah' iced onto it. Connor and Henry cooed over baby Owen and Sarah was happy to see Natalie with a smile on her face.

"How am I going to survive a summer with one less girl and mostly boys? Do you have to go?" The older girl asked with a smile on her tired face.

"Hey! I'm a girl you know?" Claire swatted her.

"Yeah but you'll be off being glamourous and travelling or whatever college kids do." Natalie pointed out.

"I am going to miss it here." Sarah admitted.

"But you are going to have an awesome time and show that place just how smart you are." Emily said, with a side hug.

Nat's phone buzzed and she jumped in her seat to look at it with an excited expression on her face.

"Any news on Will and Natalie?" Emily asked in a whisper. Sarah shook her head slightly.

"I try not to mention her name to him. She's still waiting on him to call isn't she?"

Emily nodded sadly as Natalie's face dropped when she picked up her phone.

"Who's that?" Henry asked, "If it's Nate tell him I want my XBox game back." He pointed with a smile.

"No, it's April. She's devastated, Tate just broke up with her, for good." Natalie explained. "And having to be an upbeat camp counsellor isn't a great job right now."

"Ugh no. Poor thing." Emily said.

"I really hate boys sometimes. The only one I actually like can't hold his head." Natalie huffed. Sarah and Emily looked at each other and Claire echoed her sentiments. She still hadn't found a good boyfriend.

Sarah then turned instantly to Henry who had rushed to the back with some dirty dishes and was cleaning up hurriedly.

Connor offered to drive Sarah home since it was her last day in Chicago and they had to be at the airport early. He hadn't taken no for an answer when he had said he'd be there.

They drove in silence, just the sound of the latest Broadway show they had been obsessing over in the background.

"What are you thinking about?" Connor asked as he squeezed her hand, Sarah turned around.

"Jason."

"Yeah? He's getting along with Bee, right?"

"Yes, he might actually be to focused on his dog to notice I'm gone but I'm still worried, I don't think we've been apart this long. Ever."

"Don't worry about it so much, didn't Mary said it would be good for the two of you to be without each other? You'd be done with school next year anyway."

"That's what I'm afraid of." Sarah sighed. "No matter how much I tell myself otherwise, I'm not good with changes either."

Connor smiled softly. "Hey, I promise, I'll come over as much as I can, okay? Take him to Molly's for a milkshake?"

"He's going to love that. I'm sure, thank you." Sarah said with a smile of her own. "What would I do without you?"

They had reached her house. "Mom is not home yet. She was going to go grocery shopping and James took Jason to a checkup for the dog. You want to come in for a little while?"

Connor smiled. "Sure."

They walked to the house, Sarah unlocked it and they settled on the couch in the living room. "I'm worried about Natalie and Will." She commented as she played with his fingers. "They haven't really talked, he's avoiding her."

"Maybe it's for the best?" Connor suggested. "Nat's got a lot on her plate as it is. Dealing with Halstead is not something she needs right now."

"You have to promise me you'll try and get him to talk to her over the summer." Sarah said. "Please?"

"Me? I tried and the guy played me Sarah, I'm not his biggest fan right now."

"Please. For me? I'm really worried, it's a big deal for Natalie, not having him around."

Connor sighed. "But you'll owe me?"

"Okay, what exactly?"

"Hmm… I'm sure I'll think of something." He mused, leaning to kiss her. He nudged her against the couch. "I'm really going to miss this." Connor said against her lips.

Sarah sighed, as soon as he moved to her neck, her weak spot and she felt his lips trail down. She moved her hands to his hair, as if she was trying to keep him there. With her, forever. "I love you."

"I love you too." She said when he came up from the spot between her neck and shoulder and to her lips again. "This, is what I'm going to remember for the next seven weeks."

"They are going to be long. Specially because I'll be working at the store."

"Your Dad didn't budge?" Sarah asked looking up at him and playing with the hairs in the back of his head, which relaxed him.

"No, he said he's going to make sure I'm prepared for my future." Connor huffed. Cornelius had been home longer than Sarah had expected him to. And now he had taken upon himself to have his children do an intensive course of work at Dolen Rhodes for the summer, which Claire was used to, but Connor despised.

* * *

The next morning came by too soon. Sarah couldn't believe it was July already. Her Mother was already downstairs when she reached the kitchen. Jason was having breakfast when she sat down. "Mom says I can call you every day Sarah, you'll have your phone, won't you?"

"Yeah, buddy, we can, right before you go to bed, okay?"

"It's the same time here than at Texas, I read it." Jason said. "So, we won't have to change my bedtime like we do when we call Grandma."

"That's good Jason and you know, Connor said you can call him anytime too if you need anything."

"Yeah, he told me we could go to the Aquarium again." Jason said, turning back to his cereal. Susan tried not to make a comment to upset Jason about how Connor was not going to be around as much as he hoped but Sarah knew she had decided against it. She knew her boyfriend and she was sure he was going to try his best. "Do you have everything? And remember you can use the card I gave you for whatever you need and Aunt Sheila said she has your room ready."

Ah, yes, that had been a new development. Sarah was now staying with relatives instead of campus because she had been accepted late, thankfully, Susan's cousin had offered her a room since she had no children.

The ride to the airport consisted of James picking them all up in his newly acquired van in which they could also fit Jason's dog.

Sarah was glad Jason was up to the idea and she knew in big part it was because of Bee, he was there to reassure him when she wasn't.

She got a text from Connor before they arrived and he was already waiting for her by the airline bay. Jason had gotten out of the car, Bee in tow as James handed Sarah her backpack and pulled on her luggage.

She was surprised to see Emily and Jay and even Will at the airport as well. Natalie had called her the night before promising she'd call her as soon as she landed because Owen had had a doctor's appointment.

Chris, Cindy, Claire and Henry were also there, everyone she cared about. It was such a different picture from the one she had had when she had boarded the plane to Chicago almost a year before.

"Don't forget to take pictures." Emily told her with a hug. "And don't come back with an accent."

Sarah laughed. "I won't."

The Halstead brothers had brought up their promised sign. "Knock'em dead Reese, they're all brains there, but there's only one Sarah Reese." Sarah smiled.

She said goodbye to the Hermann's and Claire, who promised to keep an eye on Connor, so he wouldn't be around moping.

Then it was time. After she'd said her goodbye to her Mom and James, Jason wasn't as easy but she knew she was emotional so she tried to keep herself at bay, because she didn't want to make it harder on him. In that moment, Sarah wished she could hug him.

"I love you buddy, you know that right?" Jason nodded as he handed her a small rock.

"So you don't forget home." He told her and then turned back to his dog. Sarah clutched it to her chest as her flight was being called.

"Be safe, remember you are my very smart girl and I love you." Her mother said. "And I'm very proud of you."

"I love you too Mom, thank you for always believing in me." Sarah then turned back to Connor who smiled as he offered her his hand.

"You are smarter than you think Sarah, don't hold back okay? No matter how much you want to, it's your time to shine." She had tears in her eyes as she hugged him,grabbing onto him for dear life. "I love you."

"I love you too." He broke apart to clean the tears from her eyes with his thumb. "Go be amazing."

Her flight was called on again and she walked to the line, letting go of Connor's hand when he couldn't go further in.

He stayed there until she disappeared from view.

* * *

 **Soo, we're back! Sorry we've been MIA with the story lately, life is a little busy for us at the moment! Hopefully we'll get back into a regular updating time soon. Thanks for the support as always guys!**

 **How will Rheese deal with the whole long distance thing? We shall see.**


	54. Chapter 54

**Holding On**

 **Chapter 54**

What a difference a year made.

Sarah stepped off the plane in Chicago feeling like an entirely different person than a year before.

That, of course, may have had something to do with the mini entourage she had crowding the arrival gate, waiting for her.

Connor.

Will and Jay.

Emily and Monique.

Natalie and Owen.

Henry and Claire.

She had an unshakable grin on her face as she approached the welcoming committee compared to the sick feeling of fear in her stomach last year.

She felt like a completely different person. She wore her hair up like one of her new friends from Baylor had showed her how to, she walked with a more confident step and she felt beyond happy to be _home._

For once, she didn't wait for her Mom and Jason who were following her off the plane before running over to her Chicago family.

"I can't believe you are finally back, I love you so much." Connor whispered in her ear in their fleeting hug before Emily nearly crushed her with a hug. Sarah cooed over a quickly growing Owen and laughed as the boys pretended to boo her choice of wearing the Baylor team jersey.

Surprisingly, to Sarah, her Mom invited her friends over for the evening to catch up. Sarah didn't argue, she figured her Mom secretly wanted to get to know the people Sarah would be graduating with the following summer better and make sure Sarah didn't lose contact with her old classmates either.

Jason was almost as excited as Sarah to have her back in Chicago.

He fretted as soon as they arrived home to find Bee and show him to Sarah. Their Grandma Juliet had been dogsitting and handed the small dog to her grandson.

"See I told you, I've been taking care of him." Jason shoved the dog into Sarah's arms as soon as she stepped inside.

She was once again grateful for her wonderful friends, they understood that Jason needed a few minutes with his sister and left the Reese siblings in the hallway and wandered into the kitchen.

"He really is getting big, isn't he?" Sarah asked, petting the dog.

"Yeah and Dad said he'll get bigger." Jason said, giggling at the licks Bee was currently slathering his hands with. "I like it when you're here." He said to Bee but Sarah's heart gave a lurch, she knew exactly who he was talking to.

"I like being here too."

"You're going back to normal school right?"

"Yeah I sure am. And we have to go on the bus on the first day right? Poor Jay would be lonely otherwise."

Jason sat up suddenly, her words triggering something. "Jay! Jay!" He shouted, running into the kitchen. "You said you'd help me teach Bee how to sit like your dog. Is he old enough yet?"

Sarah picked up the excited dog and followed in his footsteps.

What a difference a year could make, indeed.

A year ago, Jason could barely speak to anyone outside the family.

Jay broke his conversation with Emily to turn to Jason. He shot a grin at his brother. "We'll have to see."

Will stopped mid-conversation with Sarah's Mom about his summer internship to take the dog from Sarah and held him up for inspection.

Jay stood beside his brother and regarded the dog while Jason practically bounced on the spot with excitement.

"You know what? I think so." Jay said.

"Really?" Jason asked.

"Yep, we've got some training to do. You up for it Jason?"

Jason nodded emphatically, "Sarah said I'm smart and 'sponsible." He said.

"Well then it's a plan." Jay smiled.

"What do you think, Mrs Reese? Can we take Jason and Bee to the park sometime?"

Sarah's mom looked like she could be blown over with the surprise on her face. "Absolutely."

Jason's face lit up and he took Bee off Will and retreated to the living room to tell the little dog about their next adventure.

Sarah's face heated as soon as Connor made his way over to her. The last time they were here…

"How did Ellie and Terry take the final day?" He asked, his arm wrapping around her waist, after being scared that things between them would fliter away while she was gone, Sarah had been reassured that if anything, they became more solid.

"We were all sad leaving, but we promised to stay in contact." She said. She called him every night she could and he would text her with updates of what was happening in Chicago. He learnt her new friends' names and listened to her stories and she learnt about Owen's growth and all about life during the summer at Molly's. And he came to visit her which was the best surprise _ever_.

* * *

 _It was possibly one of the hottest summer days Sarah had ever endured. If she didn't already love the library, she loved it more now for it's air conditioning and shade from the relentless sun._

 _Her friends were off to enjoy their family weekend. A weekend cleared of student activities for the students to take a trip home or have their family visit._

 _Her Mom had already apologised about missing it, work was hectic and really they couldn't afford it as she would be flying down to pick her up and she had flown in a few days after her earlier in the summer to help her settle._

 _Sarah told herself it didn't matter. And half way through the program, she was settling in and really beginning to enjoy herself but that didn't mean to didn't miss home._

 _She was glad of her roommate showing her how to secure her hair in an upstyle. Her hair was unruly at the best of times, but the humidity did not help._

 _She was strolling through the beautiful campus, imagining herself as a real student, with her bag on her back, sunglasses on and an ice tea in her hand when she stopped._

" _I almost didn't recognise you, you know?"_

 _Connor._

 _She spun around to see her boyfriend walking towards her. She thought she was hallucinating with the heat until he leaned in her a hug and she could feel him right there in her arms._

 _She squealed somewhat and started peppering him with questions as to how and why he was there before practically throwing away her drink to reach up for a proper hug._

" _I can't believe you are here!" Sarah squealed, still trying to pinch herself, she had not seen him in a month, FaceTime and calls didn't justice to the real thing._

" _Well, I'm glad you were surprised." He said with a smile. "I've been planning it since you left."_

 _Sarah took his hand in hers and kissed him deeply as soon as she broke the hug. "Oh and before I forget.." he took something out from his shorts pocket. "This is from Jason. Another rock from home."_

 _Sarah stared down at it, she would place it next to the other by her window. "Jason knew?"_

" _Yeah and he told me not to tell a lot of people because someone would end up telling you."_

 _Sarah laughed, that sounded like her brother for sure. She didn't want to ask him who else knew though but she figured he would asked her mother too, even if Susan didn't approve of him most times, Connor was still a gentleman._

" _When did you get here?"_

" _Just now, Claire's got a friend here from school so we're staying with her."_

" _We?"_

" _Yeah well, Claire wouldn't miss visiting her friend Shane for anything."_

" _Oh,"_

" _And she's making sure I don't get in trouble apparently." Connor laughed. "So, you want to get something to eat?"_

" _I still can't believe you are here," Sarah added in as they walked hand in hand to the cafeteria. "They're so much I get to show you in person now!" She was already formulating a list of things she had to show him, her dorm building, the common room where she hung out with her new friends, the coffee cart she frequented every morning, the library…_

" _Speaking of being here in person…" Connor smiled, squeezing her hand and interrupting her train of thought. He pulled her closer and kissed her lips softly. "You can't do that over the phone." He murmured, pulling away but still leaning his forehead against hers._

 _If it was possible, if felt better than she had remembered._

 _She wasn't ready to open her eyes so she moved her free hand towards his neck to nudge him back for another kiss._

" _I've missed you." He told her, tracing his thumb along her cheek._

" _I've missed you too."_

 _Sarah did get to show him around the campus and all her favourite spots. They even got to discover a new favourite place together, a shaded tree just off the green that was very good for sneaking in kisses, before Claire came by that evening to bring them out for dinner that Friday._

* * *

"Have I missed anything the past couple of days?" She asked earnestly, eager not to miss a thing. When her Mom and Jason had come to help her get home, she had gone off the grid for a while to enjoy some quality family time. The fact that she was graduating soon was beginning to loom over her. She was growing up and realising that her and Jason wouldn't be kids and at home forever.

"Mom has the same level of tiredness I guess." He said. "What as Sarah missed?" Connor asked the room, trying not to drag the happy atmosphere down.

"A really cute guy has started working at Molly's. He's Gabby's cousin, _college age_ , gorgeous and did I mention we will be living at Molly's every day after school this year?" Emily said with a grin.

"He is really cute." Claire admitted.

"See it's not just me!" Emily pointed out. "Thank you."

"What's everyone's fascination with that guy? So he's older and has an accent?" Henry asked the room.

"Hey man don't diss what increases sales." Connor told him.

"Yeah the line was out the door yesterday." Will agreed.

"Poor Henry, his ego can't take it. People still love you." Natalie told him with the same voice she used to coo at Owen.

"Anyway, his name is Marco and you have to be my wingwoman before anyone else gets him." Emily told Sarah.

Sarah gave a non-committal shrug, not sure she knew how to be a wingwoman but not wanting to let Emily down.

Sarah had kept up to date with everyone's live's the best she could but there were things that couldn't be conveyed by text message but could be seen with her own two eyes.

Like how Natalie was now the one ignoring Will. Like how Jay's eyes kept drifting to Emily. Like how she was pretty sure that Henry and Claire might as well have been on different continents than her small kitchen with their lack of communication. How Connor and Claire kept constantly checking their phones for messages that weren't coming.

Sarah sighed to herself.

Emily had been right.

Their summer had been one of change, for everyone.

She got the feeling that from now on things would never be the same as they were before.

Despite being tired from travelling, Sarah was sad to see people leaving. Claire had to get back to work, Natalie had to bring Owen home where Jeff was waiting for them, Will and Jay were hitting the rink. Emily had to be home when Ethan finally got home from camp.

With Jason perfectly contented with Bee and his toys, and Henry and Connor heading back for the evening shift at Molly's Sarah couldn't help but want to tag along.

It felt like coming home all over again, settling into Connor's car.

They made the short trip to Molly's and as soon as she opened the door of the diner she heard Chris call for her. "There she is! Welcome home kid."

It would never get old.

She settled up at the counter, ridiculously excited to finally having a Molly's milkshake, as the boys went to work.

"Chris, how is Elizabeth, really?" She whispered to Herrmann. Connor wouldn't say much over the summer and it had made her worry.

She hated the way Herrmann gave a long weary sigh and laid his cloth on the counter. Heartbreak was evident in his voice. "It's not good kid."

Sarah swallowed hard. Exactly what she was afraid of.

"Connor always changes the topic when I bring Elizabeth up. I just don't know what to do to help." She admitted quietly.

"You know those two kids, they've been living with her illness for so long that I really don't think they realise that there will be an end to it." Chris admitted. "And there's nothing any of can do, not really, we just go to be there for them okay?"

Sarah nodded solemnly.

Connor might try to push her away but Sarah wasn't giving up that easily. Now she somehow understood why he and Claire had gone on to visit her, not that Connor hadn't intended to earlier but Sarah being away gave them both an excuse to leave Chicago.

Now a lot of it made sense.

* * *

Sarah _couldn't help but blush at the picture of her boyfriend sitting on her bed, in the room she shared with Ellie, who for some reason hated the relation her name had to Frozen. Friday had ended and so Saturday consisted of Sarah showing him around all the places she'd come to love in the short time she'd been at Baylor, yet nothing could beat being back with him, alone, the thought alone made Sarah blush because the last time they had being by themselves…. a lot had happened._

" _Come here." Connor said, stretching out his hand for her to take. Sarah smiled, her legs bumping into his as he pulled her down for a kiss, Sarah couldn't breathe, she had missed it more than she was willing to admit._

 _More than than his kisses, she missed Connor, Terry and Ellie had been there for her since day one and she was glad to have made friends,it seemed like ever since arriving to Chicago, she was not that shy anymore and having Connor back was the best thing in the world._

 _Maybe she was finally growing up._

 _She somehow found herself being on top of Connor as they made out senseless. "Oh god, sorry, I'm so, sorry!" Ellie squealed making them both jump away from each other. "I didn't see nothing."_

" _Ah, Ellie, right?" Connor said standing up and tyding himself up. "Sorry."_

" _I'm so hoping you are Connor? Of course you are, I've seen pictures, Sarah, why didn't you tell me he was coming?"_

" _I didn't know." Sarah admitted, instantly beaming at Connor. "He just showed up yesterday."_

 _Ellie blinked. "Ugh, I wish I had a boyfriend, let alone one as amazing." She said, sighing and dropping her bag._

" _Weren't you meant to be at home?" Sarah asked._

" _Oh, yeah, my grandfather wasn't feeling well and my Mom had to go with him to the hospital, so she insisted I come back to school."_

" _Oh, I'm sorry."_

" _Don't be, I'm used to it, she thinks I don't see how bad it is, like she's protecting me but she's not, not entirely." Ellie said slumping back on her own bed, Sarah resisted having to look at Connor, he had to deal with that on a daily basis, but it wasn't like Sarah would have told Ellie about Elizabeth. It wasn't her place. "It's fine."_

" _Anyone hungry?" Sarah offered. Connor smiled and Ellie agreed, the heatwave had downsided by late afternoon as they walked over a restaurant a few blocks from school._

 _Connor was a gentleman through and through, even though Sarah could see he was a bit anxious. Yet he answered all of Ellie's questions about home or himself, playing with Sarah's fingers constantly which she knew helped him relax._

 _Back at the room, he said goodnight to Ellie and Sarah then closed the door behind her and turned to her boyfriend walking him out._

" _Connor, what's wrong?"_

" _Nothing. Why would something be wrong?" He said, glancing at his phone. "Uh, Claire's coming to pick me up."_

" _I'll walk you down then." She said with a soft smile taking his hand. When they reached the driveway of the dorms corridor, Claire was there with her friend Shane who Sarah hadn't officially met._

" _So, were you surprised?" Shane asked the younger girl as she hugged her._

" _More than you know." Sarah said grinning as Connor smiled softly._

" _Good, I was worried Henry would let it slip somehow." Claire laughed. "I'm sorry it's just for a few days though, we have to get back to work at the store on Tuesday."_

" _Not if it was up to me." Connor muttered and Sarah gave his hand a squeeze._

" _Ah cheer up C, you are with your girlfriend for the next 48 hours still, aren't you?" Shane smirked. "It's a good thing Sarah doesn't have school on Monday, Sorry but it's getting a little late, best if you two say your goodbyes now, my Daddy would kill me if he knows I took the car out past curfew."_

" _I'll see you tomorrow?" Connor smiled, kissing her softly. "There's this fair and Shane has agreed to bring us along."_

" _Oh please say yes Sarah. It's so much fun! You can invite along whoever you want." Shane said warmly._

" _Sure, I'm sure Ellie will love it too."_

" _It's a date then." Connor said, kissing her again as he got in the car._

" _Wait, Connor, thank you, for this, for being here, it's the best surprise in the world."_

" _Anytime babe." He beamed, brushing her cheek with his finger and getting finally in the back of the car again, they waited for Sarah to climb the stairs to her dorm so they could pull away._

* * *

Sarah had agreed to go with Emily school shopping in their last free week before school began, one more weekend and Sarah would be a senior. At 16, it was such a scary concept and yet an exciting one. "So, are you going to tell me more of that amazing weekend you and Connor had this summer? I was part of the conspiracy, you and I live for the dirt."

"I know, but I think I told you all there's to tell." Sarah shrugged.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean it was amazing but he was a little off, at first I thought it was because he didn't want to go back to work at the store but now…"

"Now what?"

"I talked to Hermann, he told me Elizabeth is really sick, it's bad Em." Sarah sighed. Emily looked at her worriedly. "That explains a lot about that weekend, I know Connor didn't want me to notice but just like when he can tell I am upset, I knew something was bothering him."

Emily bit her lip as they swinged their bags over and walked along. "I can't even imagine." She pointed out.

Sarah sat down on a chair at the fast food aisle as they ordered something to eat. "I'm really worried about him."

"Well, does he talk about it with you?"

"No, he didn't even tell me how bad things were whenever we spoke on the phone while I was gone."

"Maybe he didn't want to worry you. Knowing you two, you'd probably would have left the program early to come back home and support him."

Sarah bit her lip. Well, she would have done it, if she was completely honest with herself.

"Emily?" A voice said suddenly taking Sarah out of her thoughts, she looked up to see a girl walking their way.

"Robin, hey." Emily said. "Sarah, this is Mr. Charles's daughter, she's going to be a senior with you next week." Reese looked over at the older girl. She did kind of reminded her of Daniel Charles.

"Oh, yes the famous Sarah, finally we meet, trust me, all of your friends at Molly's talk about you." Sarah glanced at Emily. "All good things trust me, specially Connor, you two are adorable from what I hear."

"Thanks?" Sarah said awkwardly. "Ummm. Nice to meet you."

"You too Sarah, I'll see you around I guess."

"See you." The girls said goodbye to Robin as she walked away. "She's nice, I didn't know Mr. Charles had other kids but apparently he's got like 2 ex- wives. Robin's come to live with her Dad senior year because she wants to stay here for college."

"Oh, how long has she been here?" Sarah asked, wondering why her friends or Connor had not mentioned her.

"About 3 weeks, Hermann gave her a job at Molly's last week." And it was then that Sarah felt a rush of, she wasn't sure if it was jealousy wash over her. She knew Connor had been picking shifts at Molly's weekends on top of having to work at Dolen Rhodes during the week, so that meant that girl Robin had shared some shifts with him.

 _Maybe she wasn't as grown up as she thought._

* * *

 **Hey guys! What did you think? We have a little announcement to make, we're taking a little hiatus on this story as life has gotten a little on the way.**

 **We want to thank everyone for their support, specially Just-A-Girl-cand-unicorn, who is the most amazing reviewer and supporter of us and this story.**

 **We thank you for the bottom of our hearts and thank you for taking this journey.**

 **Rheese forever!**


	55. Chapter 55

**Holding On**

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 **Special shout out to** **Just-A-Girl-cand-unicorn for her passion on baby Rheese and to everyone else who keeps us on writing what we love!**

 **Chapter 55**

Sarah stifled a yawn as she trailed behind a very anxious Jason, who was ready for his 'puppy training' lessons with the Halstead brothers. He was up at the crack of dawn and hadn't calmed down since.

It was still far too early to be up on her last week of freedom before the ever encroaching senior year but she couldn't say no to her little brother when he was so enthusiastic about something.

"I don't see them." Jason fretted as he picked up Bee and held onto the small dog.

Sarah looked around the park, practically devoid of people at the hour of the morning.

"They'll be here. Don't worry." She reassured him as she watched him scratch Bee's ears. Bee was as much of a comfort to Jason as he was to the dog.

Sarah looked around and smiled at the sight of her two friends approaching. Jay looked like he was still half asleep but Will was practically bounding with the same energy as Jason.

Jason noticed them a minute later and chatted at them non-stop.

"Why am I awake?" Jay asked Sarah as Will looked over Bee with Jason.

"I'm asking myself the same thing." She replied. "I mean I get why Jason is so awake and excited but how is Will functioning?"

Jay shrugged, "He's had to be up early for his internship all summer, it's turned him into a morning person." Sarah laughed as Jay shivered at the thought.

"I can't believe the whole summer is over already." She said.

"Tell me about it." Jay agreed.

"I've been rattling on about school, but how was your summer? You and Emily hang out much after?"

"Why would you ask that?" Jay asked quickly.

Sarah was taken aback by his promptness at the innocent question. "...Because Emily didn't mention being as bored as she thought she would be, hanging out with you. I mean you two were practically the only two left."

"Yeah we hung out." He said, looking away, suddenly a lot more awake and a lot more interested in Bee.

Sarah made a mental note to ask her best friend about it. "Cool." Sarah nodded, "Hey Jason, what do we say to the boys for coming out so early?"

"Thank you." Jason said shyly, looking up at the older boys he idolised.

"Anything for my bus buddy." Jay told him with a smile.

"How are you readjusting to Chicago then Reese? You know with you being all travelled and all." Will asked with a grin as Jay helped Jason to show Bee how to sit.

"I love being home." She told him. "What about you Mr-Internship. You have to go back to school after being a hotshot worker now." She pointed out with a smirk.

That got a laugh out of the red head which Sarah was glad about. She was still unsure how much she could talk to Will without mentioning Natalie.

The morning went by quicker than Sarah expected. They would of course, need more sessions, something Jason was only delighted about. Bee hadn't grasped much but Sarah knew the early morning time was for Jason rather than the puppy anyway.

The boys insisted on driving the Reese siblings home, where Bee was entrusted to their mother and then the four moved onto Molly's for breakfast.

At Molly's they found Robin and Connor working the morning shift and Sarah's stomach took a flip when she saw them behind the counter. Henry made his way over to them though, having noticed her. "You met Mr. Charles's daughter? She's nce."

"You think everyone's nice Henry." Jay said. "But yeah, she seems decent."

"Unlike that Marco guy." Henry added in. "And no, for the record, I don't think everyone is nice."

"Keep telling yourself that Hermann. You can't help it, it's in your blood." Henry rolled his eyes as he took their order and greeted Jason who was telling him about his morning with Sarah and the boys.

"Connor, did you know that Bee knows how to roll over now? Jay taught him." Jason said to Connor who was making their way over.

"That's amazing bud, you have to show me soon."

"I will but he's at home, you could come over after breakfast and I'll show you." Jason said.

"Not right away bud, I still have to work here a little but I'll come over later, how is that?"

"Okay."

"I'll be just a minute you guys," Sarah said to the boys and then followed Connor over to the counter and sat on one of the stools.

"Hey." He said charmingly to her.

"Hi." Sarah said as he smiled at her and kissed her cheek, earning an eye roll from the Halstead brothers which she noticed. "How's it going today?"

"Slow, but it will pick up later, it's the end of summer after all."

"Yeah, tell me about it." Sarah sighed eying Robin. "What time do you get off?"

"Around noon, I can bring over some ice cream or something and we can just spend time with Jason?"

"Sounds good." Sarah smiled. Connor nodded back with a small smile, writing something on his pad.

"Everything okay?" He asked, trying to follow her eyes toward the older girl. "Robin told me the two of you met the other day."

"We did, Emily told me she's a senior."

"She is..." Connor told her, the two of them still looking over at the girl. "So what's going on in that head of yours?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know you Sarah Reese, something is up." He said just as Sarah was about to reply, the youngest Hermann came in from behind him.

"Connor, I hate to do this man, but we're starting to get backed up here." Henry said sneaking behind Connor as the place had began to fill in. "Sorry Sarah."

"It's fine. I'll go, we'll talk later, okay?" She told him.

"Okay." Connor said giving her a quick peck and moving back as Henry laid out their drinks having followed Saraha back to the table.

"Something wrong Reese?" Will said, taking his focus away from Jason for a moment as she sat back down. Sarah just turned her eyes back to Connor and smiled.

"No, everything's fine." Will gave Connor a glance but decided against commenting further.

* * *

"See and then he rolls over." Jason explained to Connor as they all stood in the small backyard. "He's really smart."

"I bet he is." Connor said with a smile. "That's amazing buddy."

"Jay says he's still going to learn more but we have to give him some more time so he can learn it all and not forget it."

"Makes sense." Connor said eyeing Sarah who smiled.

"Hey Jason, how about we let Bee rest a little and have lunch? Connor brought ice cream." Her brother's eyes lighted up.

They sat down at the small kitchen table as Sarah laid out the burgers and drinks Connor had brought. While they ate, Sarah watched her brother talk to Connor about their favorite subject, Transformers as her brother secretly feed Bee crumbs under the table. The excitement of the morning and sugar rush had started to die down and Jason fell asleep in the living room couch after they had searched for something to watch.

"He's had quite the day and it's not even four." Sarah said covering Jason with a blanket. "And you, how was the rest of your shift?"

"Fine, Henry was left to teach Robin about the fryer." Connor mused. "Thankfully."

"Oh, don't remind me." Sarah said the disastrous result of the fryer in her days at Molly's, as short lived as they were. "So, everyone keeps telling me just how nice Robin is."

"And you don't think so? She's a lot like you, you know? With having to change her life completely. She and her brother, but he's older than Claire so I'm guessing they don't see each other much."

"I don't really know her." Sarah shrugged. "But yeah, adjusting to a new home is hard."

"Specially when you don't have someone to help you, right?"

"Right." Sarah said. "I'm sorry I know I was acting a little weird but it's just, she got to spend more time with you than me this summer and she's a stranger."

"I would have liked to have more time with you too Sarah." He said moving a strand of hair away from her face as he kissed her.

"I was actually thinking I might ask Chris about getting my job back saturdays?"

"I'm sure he'd be happy to have you back." Connor said. "We could do it together and it would give me an excuse to get away from work at the store."

"Are you still going to be working with your Dad once summer is over?"

"I don't know, the pay isn't bad but I'm not sure if I'm ready to sacrifice my sanity for money just yet but it has taken Dad off my back so it might not be the worse thing."

"I'm sure you'll work something out." Sarah said. "And it's good you are getting along better with him."

"Barely but yeah, I guess. I think I owe it to Mom to at least try." He said, his face falling a little. "Ah, she's been asking about you and Jason, maybe you come over soon?"

"Sure, I'd love to." Sarah said. "I miss her."

"Oh, and she misses you." Connor said. "She kept asking me to send her all the pictures you had sent me over the summer." Sarah smiled, pictures were so important to Elizabeth, like she could live through them somehow.

"Speaking of Mom. I should probably get going but, I'll come tomorrow if I can?"

"Or I could? I'm not sure if Jason will be up to it but I'll talk to my Mom about it?"

"Sure, sounds good." He said as he stood up. Sarah walked him out.

"So listen, you know that Robin is new in town and I'm just trying to help her out, that's it, right?"

"I do." Sarah said. "You are a good person Connor."

"So are you babe and you have nothing to worry about, alright? I love you and only you." He said cheekily, closing the space between them.

Sarah inhaled his scent as she hugged him and looked up to kiss him deeply. "I love you too."

* * *

Henry sighed in defeat as he cleaned up the counter and watched Claire chat with Marco.

"What's up with you Cap?" Will asked as he drank his milkshake.

Henry smirked with pride at the new nickname, he was a captain now. He shrugged at Will's question.

Will looked over to where Henry glanced. The same trickle of panic that sprouted every time somebody found out about his _feelings_ for Claire started shivering up his spine.

Henry watched the red head nod to himself.

He sighed deeply, "Same, I get it man, more than you know."

As much as Henry didn't want to hear anything about Natalie's love life, he really did feel for his teammate sitting in front of him."Yeah, I know, I was there." Will shrugged his comment off.

He could empathise. Sometimes timing just never worked out with feelings.

"School starts back in a few days as if this all wasn't bad enough." Will mused out loud. Ah yes, Natalie would be coming back to school. Henry knew that Will had done a good job of avoiding her over the summer, but after seeing everybody's timetable, he wouldn't be able to do that anymore. They were in nearly every class together. Apparently Emily was hopeful of a Manstead reunion, but Henry wasn't as hopeful looking at the sorrowful boy across from him.

"Speak for yourself, some of us are looking forward to school." Henry scoffed.

Will raised his eyebrows, "You, Henry Herrmann, looking forward to school?"

"Yeah okay," Henry admitted, "So maybe it's more of a looking forward to not being here and being constantly reminded just how _great_ Marco is. You know I'm a good cook too." Henry pointed out. "And I was once everyone's favorite server and I'm funny and…"

"Alright, if it helps, I like you better than Marco."

"Can you tell Claire that?" Who was Henry kidding, his permanent bad mood stemmed from the fact that Claire was giggling over something Marco had said.

It was kind of freeing being able to be honest with someone about his Claire dilemma.

It had come as a kind of surprise, that he and Will had become better friends over the summer. He was still, and always would be, loyal to Natalie. But he had to respect that Will was respecting Natalie's space. And with Connor working in the fancy retail world of his inheritance, Natalie busy with Owen and work becoming unbearable with Marco and Will calling in for dinner most evenings after work. He and Will had come to an unspoken agreement.

What was said in Molly's stayed in Molly's.

Plus there were some things that Connor probably didn't want to know.

"Stick in there, Marco's a phase, you're her constant."

"Is that what you're doing? Sticking it all out?"

Will just took a long sip from his milkshake.

The door opened and Sarah Reese came in. "Hey guys." She smiled. "Hey Henry, is your Dad around?"

"Yeah he's in the back." Will chipped in, putting money on the counter for his drink. "That is my que to leave. See you two later?"

"Did I chase him away?" Sarah asked as Henry let her around the back.

 _No, Henry thought, it was an easy escape from the truth about his feelings for Natalie._

"Nah, he was leaving anyway." Henry reassured her, "So, what's up?"

"I was going to see if I could have my old job back. You know the one that barely existed?" She grinned.

"I'm sure it won't be a problem."

Sarah smiled back at Henry as she stepped to the back, Hermann was on the phone with someone and Sarah couldn't help but overhear a little. It seemed it was Elizabeth and her heart sank to her chest. "Hey listen, Lizzie, I gotta go, but We'll talk soon, alright?"

Sarah felt guilt flooding her as Hermann turned to her with his ever soothing smile. "What's up kiddo, are you excited about getting to do senior year early?"

"I guess." Sarah said. "I'm a little nervous too."

"Makes sense, last year of school is a strange one. I should know." There was a glint of nostalgia in Chris's voice. "So, what's up?"

"I've come crawling back I guess, I mean I still have to talk to my Mom about it, but, would it possible for me to work Saturdays?"

Chris smiled. "That boyfriend of yours works saturdays too." Sarah blushed a little. "If you are up for it, so am I. I've missed your pretty face around the dinner."

"Really? Thank you so much Hermann, really."

"No problem kiddo, just work out the details with your Mom and I don't see why not."

* * *

Natalie felt weird, being in the park with Connor and Henry just like old times, only she had to care for Owen now. He was sleeping soundly in his stroller as the boys came back with ice cream in hand.

"Here you go." Henry smiled, handing her a cone and sitting beside her. Connor settled on her other side. "So, last few days before senior year?"

"I can still remember the weekend before going to junior high." Natalie said with a sigh. "Seems like a lifetime ago."

"I hear you, but hey, at least we get to finish together." Henry said. They talked mostly about school, Sarah, Elizabeth and Marco for some reason, which Connor had also seemed to have taken a shine to now as well.

"What's everyone's fascination with the guy?"

"He's actually nice Henry, you should give him a chance." Natalie said.

"Yeah, like you and Halstead?" Henry instantly regretted his words. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"No, it's fine, me and Will? I wish we could go back to being friends, but I just don't know how to work out the guts to apologize."

"Apologize for what? He should be the one saying sorry Nat." Connor added with a shrug.

Natalie was about to argue when Owen fuzzed in the stroller but Henry was quickly to jump into action. "I think you both should talk out your issues."

Connor and Natalie looked at each other. "Hey man, are we still up for tomorrow with your Mom?"

"Yeah, Sarah's coming too, so she'll be happy, It will have to be after work though."

"So, you're staying put at Dolen- Rhodes?"

"For now." Connor said. "It's not that terrible, my father isn't breathing behind my neck like I thought he would and it makes Mom happy that we get along better."

"But you are not thinking of taking your place as the rightful heir, are you?" Henry asked. Connor sighed.

"No, Claire's entitled to take over, my father just thinks it's the 80's and she shouldn't be the one leading the company when he retires but she's done it all just to prove him she can."

"What are you thinking?"

"Well, I'm working on a way to show him that, I've just haven't gotten there."

"Claire's lucky to have you as her brother Connor." Natalie said sweetly.

"Yeah well, it's taken me a long time to be that guy but, I'm working on that too."

* * *

Sarah was getting ready to meet Connor to go his Mom's. Jason was not really up to visiting but they had worked on a new card for Elizabeth from Mary.

"Sarah, Connor's here!" Her grandmother called. She was staying with them still. Sarah had heard Juliet and Susan talking about her staying for good, yet, she wasn't sure how that would work.

There were not enough rooms in the house.

"Hey."

"Hi." She said as he offered her his hand for the remaining steps on the stairs. "You look great babe, I really love that hair up thing."

"You do?" She blushed.

"Yeah." He grinned. "Ready to go?"

"Yep, sorry Jason wasn't up for it, I think he's just nervous about school starting up again."

"It's fine Sarah. I'm sure we can do it some other time."

"For sure."

"You two almost ready?" Juliet said coming out of the kitchen. "Oh Sarah, you look lovely."

"Thanks Grandma." She beamed.

"And Connor, don't you look sharp?" Sarah smiled as Connor seemed to blush. "Please send my love to your mother, Sarah don't forget to send her the blanket I've just finished for her?"

Sarah, true to her nature, had already the blanket under her arm. They said their goodbyes to Jason who was in session with Mary and were on their way.

The ride to the Rhodes's Estate was a little quieter than usual, Sarah knew, although they didn't touch much on the subject that Connor was tense over the whole thing, but she gave him space and didn't push if he didn't want to her about it. Katie was there on the door almost to welcome them. "Sarah, how was Texas? I want to hear all about it soon!"

"Hey Katie, of course,"

"I'll bring her around more often trust me." Connor said to Katie with a smile.

"You better, your Mom is in the living room, she's in good spirits. Henry and Natalie aren't here yet but oh she'll be happy to see you."

Sarah spotted Elizabeth on the couch were the sun warmed her up. "Mom, we're here."

The woman turned around with a wide smile on her face. "Sarah sweetie, welcome home."

"Thank you. It's good to be home." She said as she wrapped her arms around Elizabeth, holding on a bit longer as to be able to process that she was still there.

"Come here, sit. I want to hear all about Baylor." Sarah did as she was told as Connor took a seat on the piano bench and the girls chatted away. Reese told her all about Terry and Ellie, her classes and teachers and just how much she missed home even though she'd been so happy about being there."Oh we sure missed you too, Connor honey, how about you play us something?"

Connor smiled. "Any requests?"

As Sarah stared at her boyfriend's skills at the piano, she wondered, just how many more afternoons they would get with Elizabeth and it made her be grateful to be home, to have the chance to start yet another school year, to have her Mom, Jason, her friends, and of course Connor by her side.

* * *

 **So sorry for the late update you guys! But we do hope you enjoyed this one.**

 **Is the gang really ready to start their senior year? What will happen?**


	56. Chapter 56

**Holding On**

 **Hello! It's been too long, like six months long guys but we're back with the story! A lot happened in our lives in the time between but one thing is for sure, we want to keep writing Rheese for as long as we are able to, although updates will only be once a month or so now, we hope you are still in it with us and thanks so much for the support.**

 **On to the new chapter!**

 **Chapter 56**

"You finished your breakfast already Jason?" Sarah asked as she got back to her kitchen after double checking the contents of her school bag again.

"Yeah. Can we go to school now?" He asked as he even put his bowl into the sink.

Sarah glanced at her phone to check the time and smiled at the mass of messages from her friends on their first morning back at school. She couldn't help that even if she was apprehensive about her senior year, she was almost as excited as Jason to get back to school and their friends.

Jason was nearly rushing out the door without her, he hadn't seen Mary in weeks and was itching to be working with his aid again, something that Sarah had not believed possible a year before.

"Jason, we have to be careful near the roads remember?" She asked as she followed him out the door and down to the pavement.

"I remember." He told her and fell into step beside her.

They were early for the bus and by the time it arrived Jason was practically jumping up and down. They said hello to their bus driver before going to find the Halstead brothers.

They both high fived Jason and April nearly ran Sarah over with a hug.

Sarah took her usual spot next to Will, leaving Jason and Jay to their own devices, apparently discussing new dog training tactics while Will filled her in on his car.

All too soon the bus pulled up to the school gates.

There she was, her senior year.

They moved from their friends while Sarah went to walk Jason to meet Mary, but the group promised to wait outside for her, especially Will seeing as they were sharing a few classes now.

Jason was excited to see Mary and his friends again and barely looked back at Sarah as he went on his way.

Sarah knew that starting senior year would be overwhelming but nothing was as moving as seeing her brother so contented. For once, he didn't talk to her because he couldn't, he didn't talk to her because he had his life to go live.

She ended up blinking back tears as she made her way over to school where the whole gang had gathered.

"You okay?" Connor asked as he kissed her on the cheek. "If you're having second thoughts, I'm sure Mr Charles could sort things out?"

She smiled and shook her head at his assumption for the tears in her eyes. "No, it's just that Jason is growing up so fast, it's almost like he doesn't even need me anymore."

"Well that's not true. He'll always needs his big sister." Connor reassured her.

"Yeah Rhodes is right, and as annoying as siblings can be…" Will rolled his eyes in jest before Jay swatted him on the head, "...you eventually always need them around."

"I see we're already all getting along this year...let's keep it that way huh?" Mr Charles commented as he passed by the group. "Shouldn't you all be getting to your lockers? The bell's about to ring."

"So...need a buddy to help you get adjusted to your new grade?" Connor asked with a smile, falling into step beside Sarah.

Sarah smiled at the memories that seemed like so long ago and of her first impressions of Connor. "I mean my last buddy set the bar pretty high, I don't know if you could compete…"

Connor grinned. "Oh really? Sounds like a good guy."

Sarah shrugged with a smirk, "He was alright."

Connor laughed and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, landing a kiss in her hair.

The group came to the stairs. "Hey promise you won't forget about us measly juniors?" Emily asked with a smile on her face but the seriousness in her eye gave her away.

"Of course not." Sarah reassured her. "Keep Jay on the straight and narrow for me?" Sarah asked with a grin.

Emily sighed dramatically as if it was the truth and not the other way around. "It's such a hard job."

"C'mon Choi, how about we start the year by actually going to class?" Jay asked starting to climb the stairs. Emily stuck out his tongue at him.

"Hey even my parents agree I've become more mature. Just watch me Halstead, I'm practically a new woman." She lifted her head and swanned past him.

Sarah laughed at her friends antics and carried on with the rest of the group to their first class, they had all ended up together in English.

Henry sat with Will to avoid any awkward interactions between Will and Natalie and Sarah settled into her seat beside Connor. Even if the teacher called the class to order promptly and delved into a long speech designed to scare them into how serious their senior year would be and handed them pages of notes and deadlines, Sarah was just glad to be near Connor after what felt like ages of not seeing him since they hadn't gotten to be able to be together during the summer.

* * *

After a blur of classes and more warnings about just how important senior year was, it was finally lunchtime.

Natalie excused herself to phone her parents to see how Owen was. When she mentioned Jeff was helping to mind him, Sarah thought Will looked like a kicked puppy.

"What the hell!" Emily exclaimed standing up and nearly knocking over the group's table. Everyone turned to see what caused her outburst.

"How long has that been going on for?" Will asked when his eyes landed on April walking hand in hand with Ethan.

"I have no idea but nobody told me!" Emily stated, before storming over to her brother.

Jay winced, "That's going to hurt. She thinks the world of Ethan really and for him to keep something like that from her…"

"Why would he though?" Monique turned to Jay who shrugged. Then the two of them tried to sooth Emily before she'd make a scene.

"You think Emily will be okay?" Sarah asked Connor as they walked to their lockers which happened to be together now since Nat had gracefully offered hers to Reese.

"Yeah, why don't you go with Jay and Monique to talk to her after school? I don't mind getting Jason."

"Yeah, I should but it's his first day and I don't really want him to feel like I didn't care enough as to not pick him up."

Connor sighed. "You are a good person Sarah Reese."

"I hope Emily still thinks so." Sarah said with a bitter laugh. "I'll text her just to make sure."

Sarah then found her friends as she was heading to go pick up Jason. "Hey guys."

"So, how was your first day of Senior Year?" Emily asked, clearly upset.

"It went faster than I expected it to. Em, are you okay?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that? Yes, I'm fine, I'll kill Ethan once we get home."

"Well for what it's worth, he could do a lot worse, April comes from a good family and she's nice." Jay put in and Emily glared at him.

"It's not that it's April, I like her, and honestly, it was about time! But it's just… that he didn't say anything. I bet it happened over the summer. At camp. So much for me and Ethan hanging out now."

And there it was, Ethan had broken up with his last girlfriend before summer and Emily seemed okay with it because his full attention was on her again. She was aware of just how different things would be once he went off to college and now with Ethan being with April, things had clearly changed.

Sarah said goodbye to her friends and then headed over to get Jason, a sense of deja vú washing over her just as the rest of the day as Connor met her halfway.

He was part of that whole equation that wasn't there last year, not as her boyfriend or her rock, but as her annoyed self centered buddy who turned out to be anything but that. "Connor, Sarah, hey."

It was Robin Charles. Natalie had invited her over to eat with them over lunch but she like Sarah had kept to herself most of the rest of the day, Reese figured it was because everyone knew her Dad.

"Hey Robin, how was your first day?" Connor asked.

She shrugged. "It was fine, I've had worse honestly? All of you guys made it easier, I was just trying very hard to avoid my Dad, we don't… um have the easiest of relationships." Connor and Sarah glanced at her.

 _Fathers and drama? Been there done that._

"We get it, really, anything you need you just let us know." Connor offered kindly.

"Your friend Emily actually told me the other day how you two met. Buddies?" Sarah blushed looking at Connor. "I hope my Dad doesn't get that idea, I don't think it works for everyone."

Sarah smiled. "Are you getting on the bus? We could tell you where to go."

"Nope, I'm waiting for my Dad actually but thanks. He's in some kind of parent- teacher thing."

"On the first day?" Connor sighed. "That does sound like Mr. Charles though."

"Yeah, don't remind me, anyway where are you off to?"

"To pick up Sarah's little brother, he's at the elementary school."

"Oh nice, Jason, right? We've met. My sister talks about him all the time, about how smart he is."

"You've met Jason?"

"Yeah, he was at Molly's with your Grandma most Sundays during the summer." Connor said.

"Oh, right." His girlfriend replied. "It's just, well he hasn't told me much about summer, I guess it's because he's been so focused on Bee."

"Well guys, I guess, I'll see you tomorrow?" Robin waved goodbye as they turned around and kept on their way, Connor knew something was bugging Sarah though.

"Sarah, you know that Jason will talk to you when he's ready, right?"

"You don't have to tell me, I know my brother, okay? Or I thought I did." She said harsher than intended. "I'm sorry, it's not your fault, it's just, everything is changing so fast."

"Babe, breathe, it's only our first day."

"Exactly, the first day of Senior year and I'm 15, Connor." She regretted her words as she saw a flash of pain in his eyes, she was meant to be enjoying junior year and if it hadn't been for him... "No, I just meant…"

"I'm sure if you talk to Ms. Goodwin…" Connor offered. "You have a chance not to have to grow up as fast Sarah, It will be okay.."

"No, I want to finish Senior Year with all of you guys, with you. I'm sorry, I'm just having some sort of a last day of high school ever sort of thing?"

"Okay. Is there anything I can do?" Sarah closed the space between them then and leaned to kiss him deeply.

"Just this, being here, being you."

He beamed into her lips. "Listen, I know this feels like it's a lot, but we'll get through it together, alright?"

"I know…" She agreed with a smile. "I can't believe it's been a year since we met. Officially I mean and look where we are now…"

"And I wouldn't have it any other way Reese." He said in friendly banter. "Trust me."

* * *

The next few days flew by and Sarah was actually getting the hang of things and everything was settling okay, including Jason who had a playdate with Danny and Lily Manning that friday of the first week when Connor had gone to pick her up.

"And he's doing okay?"

"Yes, I think he feels better with my grandma here. I'm pretty sure she's going to stay in Chicago for good. I heard her and my Mom talking about renting out her house, I mean it's big enough for her to get good money and they were talking about us maybe moving?"

Connor almost went pale but tried to hide it quickly. "Not from Chicago, just get a bigger place so we can all have our own room and Bee has a bigger yard"

"Oh."

"Yeah, I think my grandma is just lonely you know? And she feels useful here, with Jason and her classes, I keep thinking that if she had moved in with us in the first place, things would have been easier for him."

"Well, she's here now and seems to be good for her, isn't it?"

"Yep, for all of us I think."

"I'm happy for you babe."

"Thanks, how's your Mom been? I was hoping I could see her Sunday?"

"She's doing okay, happy that Claire and I are getting along better with Dad I guess."

Sarah smiled. Cornelius had been mostly in Chicago during this past summer and even though she knew it made Connor upset, he seemed grateful that his father was in town in case anything happened.

"That's good, I'm very proud of you, for being the better man you know? Showing your Dad that all of you are better if you are together."

"I guess." He mused.

"So, should we go? I can't believe it's the bonfire already."

"Yep. Last one." He said nostalgically. "What do you say we make the most of it?"

Sarah smiled slightly at the memories of the one the previous year. It had been quite the mess but Connor had been the greatest in caring about her and Jason. "We better…" Connor said with a tender kiss to her lips as they headed over.

It had been a little early for the bonfire in late August but Emily and Ethan had managed to get their home for that weekend and they were not about to let it go to waste.

On their way, they picked up Nat, Henry and Robin Charles. "Are you sure you won't get in trouble for this Robin?"

"Nah, my Dad's got Hannah for the weekend so he's got his hands full and plus, it will be fun to hang out with everyone again."

"Well, if you ask me, between Owen and school this is just what I need." Henry and Connor looked at each other, flashes of a year ago wavered in their minds, they hoped there wouldn't be any drama with Will.

"Well I'm just glad it's the weekend. I think school might have nearly killed me." Henry joked.

"They are just trying to scare us." Connor scoffed. "Senior year won't be that bad. Despite what the teachers say, we will all make it to college."

Sarah tried to ignore the small seed of unease that formed in her stomach but she noticed Henry's shoulders tense besides Nat.

She had to face it, Connor would have his choice of college with his connections and money and she and Henry would have to work harder for it.

But Sarah tried to force those thoughts out of her head and enjoy the night. She couldn't believe this would be her last bonfire, it was like she had just gotten used to the tradition and it was coming to an end. Her life was sure moving at breakneck speed.

"Think April will come as Ethan's plus one, what with the whole Emily situation?" Robin asked, "I'm still trying to remember everyone's name. That was right wasn't it?"

"Yeah and according to the Halsteads, they heard from Ethan that they've been dating for three months." Henry said.

"Oh wow, so they're serious?" Natalie asked.

"Sounds like it."

"I take it there's never a quiet day around here huh?" Robin grinned.

"See? You're catching on." Henry laughed.

The gang arrived at the house where the party was just getting started.

Monique made a beeline for Sarah, "I'm so glad you're here, it's all seniors I don't know and someone has already brought beer."

"Looks like we're going to have to be on the lookout." Henry said to Connor who somehow tightened his grip on Sarah.

Everything seemed to be going fine, for the time being and Sarah let herself relax beside Connor as they had all settled on a blanket outside, she was even joking with Robin who she was beginning to take a shine on.

"Hey guys, have you seen Em?" Jay said walking over to them. "I can't find her anywhere."

"No, we haven't seen her either, she went into the house a little while ago but hasn't come back out."

Sarah felt that was very unlike Emily, she was usually so involved. "We can help you go look for her up in her room, come on Monique."

"On it." She said, accepting the hand Sarah was offering to stand up.

"Oh, okay, if you find my brother, would you tell him to please come and maybe live a little?" Jay added as he sat beside the others.

"Is something wrong with Will?" Natalie asked Jay who shrugged. They hadn't gotten back to talking like they used to but at least Nat felt as if she was making an effort, she wasn't totally ignoring him anymore.

"It's really not my business Nat, but if you ask me? Maybe it's you who should be doing the dirty work and make him come out."

"I'm going to go find him, come on Henry, you can be my heavy weight…" She said to her best friend as she pulled on his arm.

"Fine, fine, I'm coming.." Henry said as Connor patted his arm jokingly pushing him up.

"So Robin, how do you like Gaffney?" Jay asked breaking the silence between the ones who had been left.

"It's fine I guess, most people are nice." Robin said.

"Yeah, I've never moved or switched schools but I guess it's not easy to leave your entire life behind huh?"

"Right, you two are true Chicago born." Robin mused to him and Connor.

"You bet, although, Rhodes and I here have a complicated history."

"Oh."

"You don't want to know…" Connor said shyly.

"But I do, come on, I already know that you and Will didn't get along until last year, is there more?"

"No, we're not that interesting." Jay let out. "I guess gossip at Gaffney spreads like measles." Robin laughed.

"Connor?" He kept staring at his phone but he didn't mean to make it seem like he was bored. "Everything okay?"

"Oh, yeah, it's… I'm going to go check on the girls, are you going to be okay?" He asked Robin kindly.

"She's with me man, she'll be fine." Jay beamed at him as he stood up but just as he was, Sarah came over to them.

"We can't find Emily, we think she might be in her room but the door is locked and what if something happened or…" Sarah could feel herself start to panic.

Jay stood up in an instant and brushed past Connor and Sarah before they had a chance to process what was happening.

"Emily, are you in there?" Monique was close to tears when Sarah and Connor reached Emily's bedroom door. Monique was pressed against the wood, trying to get through her friend.

"Can you not kick the door in?" Sarah asked Connor and Jay, wringing her hands.

"What happened Mon?" Connor asked, trying to ease the tension.

"I don't know, I bumped into Ethan who said he and Emily had had a fight and now I can't find her and her door is locked, she might be in here, she wouldn't disappear again would she?" Monique asked Jay, thinking of the other times their friend would behave like this.

"Connor, can you check her bedroom window from the outside? She could have climbed out and ran again." Jay said, before approaching the door and pounding.

"Emily! Emily if you don't open this door, I will break it down I swear."

When he didn't get an answer, he took a haggard sigh and seemed to brace himself. "Emily, _stop being such a child."_

"Nobody asked you Jay!" Emily screamed from inside.

Jay gave a self-conscious glance to the other three and leaned into the door. "Em, c'mon, it's me. What's going on?"

Monique and Sarah held their breath until the door opened a crack. "Jay, what's up?"

Jay's entire body deflated in relief before he did a double take. "Why aren't you wearing a shirt? Is that Roman in there?" He demanded, jamming his foot at the door so she couldn't close it.

Emily folded her arms, "So? What is it to you?"

"We were worried about you!"

Emily rolled her eyes, "I'm fine, as you can see. Am I not allowed to have any fun now?" She asked.

"Emily…"

"I'm not going back to _that_ Jay. I'm not a runaway anymore, and I'm done with the drinking, whatever, why can't I let off a little steam. You're not my Dad and your not Ethan."

"Yes but…"

"What? Is it so unbelievable that someone would _like me_ huh?"

"No!" Jay spluttered, "It's nothing like that. People do, people should like you, you're…"

"You know everyone is allowed to have relationships and secrets and love affairs, why can't I?"

"Woah, okay, all I wanted was some fun, not drama." Roman moaned as he came to the door, pulling his shirt on. Jay gave the senior a death glare. "Whatever Choi." He said as he pushed past Emily and disappeared to get back to the party.

"Thanks a lot Jay." Emily shouted at him and promptly slammed the door in his face.

* * *

The rest of the bonfire didn't go as they had all planned their first major Senior Year to go event, Emily had locked herself in her room and refused to come out, Jay had been more upset after finding out Will who was his ride had left even earlier, and when they had asked him if they could drive him home he just glared at them, so the party went downhill from there when Ethan's Mom had rang to let him know she was flying back early.

"So much for one last hurrah, huh guys?" Henry said. "I hate to think that this is how the rest of a senior year is going to go."

"Don't be a downer Henry, it's the last thing we need." Connor scolded him from the driver seat as Robin and Nat jumped in the back as he started the car towards the city.

"So, where to now?" Natalie asked from her middle seat.

"I'm taking you home."

"What are you? My Dad? Come on Connor, what about Robin? It was her first time big event at Gaffney."

"Oh, no I'm fine, really I don't…"

"Please, I don't want to go home before curfew if I don't have to, please, it's the last time we'd ever have bonfire night in our entire lives." Natalie said, clearly trying to drag Connor to guilt.

"Fine, anyone has any ideas?"

"How much of Chicago have you seen Robin?" Henry asked.

"Not much, I toured with my Mom a little when she came to drop me off, but that's it." Then something clicked in Henry's mind.

"We could go grab some food from Molly's and a couple blankets and camp out in Millenium Park? You know where the Summer camp used to be?"

"If the girls are up for it?" Connor said.

"Well, it would still feel like a bonfire, right?" Sarah said with a smile beside Connor as they drove to the dinner.

Once they had settled with blankets and food they had left a note for Chris to find in the morning after going to Molly's, the boys set up a few blankets and the food as they all sat to watch the stars. It was still a good two hours before anyone had to go home.

"Hard to believe that after this summer we're all going to different places, huh?" Henry said. "I mean that is, if I ever get out of Chicago."

"Why wouldn't you?" Robin asked. Sarah didn't mean to pry on hearing what Henry had to say but she couldn't help it.

"Eldest kid in a big family, I'm kind of expected to stay and help out." Henry said. "I don't mind I guess but, If I get the chance, I'd like to go and come back once I've lived a little, you know?"

"You'll be fine Henry, hockey will get you that scholarship, I know it will." Natalie said. Robin smiled kindly at Henry too but it was clear something was upsetting her.

"What's wrong Robin?" Henry asked. "I hope we're not boring you."

"No, not at all, I just feel a little like an outsider is all. The four of you have been friends for so long."

"No, they have." Sarah interjected pointing at the other three. "It feels a little strange to be in the middle of it at first, but you get used to it. I felt the same way when I first got here."

"Oh." Robin said. "Well anyway guys, I really want to thank you for letting me come along, for making me feel welcome in any case, sorry if I'm kind of a downer."

"No problem, I have a feeling you are going to fit right in Robin." Henry said kindly.

Sarah's phone then buzzed in her pocket. It was Monique saying she had finally made it home after she had not joined them and offered to stay a bit longer hoping that Emily would come out of her room, which she hadn't.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's just Monique, she's back at home since Emily didn't come out after what happened with Jay, I'm worried about her."

"She'll be fine Sarah, Emily tends to be a little over dramatic, if you ask me I think she was just trying to get back at Ethan for not telling her about him and April." Natalie said. "It's been like that since she was a little kid."

"Yeah, when things get hard for Emily, she doesn't handle things all too well." Henry put out. "But if you ask me, maybe Ethan should have just told her."

Everyone remained quiet after that, just enjoying the last of the summer feeling and the delicious food they were eating. They learned a bit about Robin's older brother Richard who lived in Boston and was studying engineering and they all shared a bit of their families with her.

Sarah hadn't noticed the time until Connor told her it was best if they headed back. They dropped Henry first and then Nat and finally Robin, and for some miraculous reason made it back to Sarah's house in time for curfew, but Connor didn't park in front of her house right away. "Connor?"

"We didn't get a chance to be alone all night, so I'm… taking the chance with the last 20 minutes we got left." He told her. "You looked really nice by the way."

"Thanks, you don't look bad yourself." Connor smiled and leaned to kiss her, Sarah leaned into his touch right away, he was right, they barely had any time alone in the last few weeks since returning to school. Soon enough, they ended up making out in the front seat of the car, until another alarm told Connor they were about to break Susan's strict curfew rules.

"Just another minute?" Sarah sighed as they broke apart. Connor smiled and kissed her again. "One more minute." He said into her cheek. "I love you Sarah."

"I love you too." She said as he turned back to the wheel and started the car back up.

As she made her way up to her room, Sarah then thought of what Senior year might bring for her and her friends and made it her mission to go visit Emily, who hadn't answered any of her texts, the next day.

* * *

 **The gangs Senior Year is not starting without trouble! Thanks for reading you guys! Until next time :)**


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